Joshua Becker's Blog, page 52

Your Attention is Being Bought—and Sold

Your attention is the most valuable resource in the world.

It determines your destiny, your accomplishments, even the life you live. And companies spend billions and billions of dollars every day to capture it.

That’s right. Your attention is bought and sold every single day by people you’ve never met.

It is bought by large, multinational conglomerates. It is bought by the local neighborhood pizza joint down the street. And every sized business in-between.

Your attention is the most valuable resource in the world to both you and anybody, anywhere, trying to sell you anything.

Advertising is, essentially, the buying of your attention.

Marketers will pay buckets of cash for ad space on websites, airwaves, billboards, pages, bus stops, stadium scoreboards… almost anywhere your eyes will be focused, marketers will seek to place an ad or a logo.

Why? Simple, they want your attention, even if for a brief second.

Their pursuit of our attention is to be expected I suppose. If someone has something to sell us, and a dollar to be made from it, they will work hard to get that product in front of us.

Not only will they send emails and junk mail, put up billboards and place radio ads, they’ll even inject their products in the shows we watch and the video games we play. Literally buying ads anywhere and everywhere they can.

If they can collect our attention, they can sell us something.

But for every buyer, there must be a seller. And there must be a product to be purchased.

The buyer is the marketer.

The product is you.

And the seller? The seller is often times the person or entity you trust the most—selling your attention to the higher bidder.

Scrolling Facebook or Instagram or Twitter or Tik-tok? That sponsored post that just showed up in your feed? That’s your favorite social media site selling access to you for a dollar—and not just access, but your personal data as well.

Just run a Google search and the first four items on the Results page say “Ad”? That’s not Google returning the four best, most reliable answers to your question. That’s Google selling you, your attention, and your intention, to whoever sent them the most money to show up on your screen.

That website you like to visit that is filled with ads and pop-up videos that automatically play every time you click on it? You’re the one being marketed.

That free app you love to play on your phone with the ads across the top or in-between levels? Yup, they’re selling you.

Of course, this extends beyond the digital world. In fact, the digital world is pretty new to the game.

That radio talk show you love so much? They are selling your attention every time they cut to a commercial break or product announcement. 

That sports league you love so much? They sold you, 30-seconds at a time, to the highest bidder too (probably a beer or fast food company).

That celebrity posting pictures of her favorite make-up or blender? Selling you.

That newspaper you love… that magazine you like… that harmless television show with singers in masks… even that government run mass transit system you ride each day. All of them, they sold your attention for a profit.

Every time you see an ad, just remember, you are the commodity being bought and sold. There is a buyer… there is a seller… and there is a product changing hands—you.

The most valuable resource you own, your attention, being sold for pennies.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

For the last eight years, I have been compiling and publishing curated articles that inspire simplicity in life. At first, it was an exercise in communicating to Becoming Minimalist readers the most popular articles I sent out on Twitter.

But over the years, it has become more than that. It has become a place where people (every other week) come for a dose of inspiration. And it has become a place to promote and encourage writers around the world who are publishing content about minimalism, simplicity, and intentional living.

I think you will enjoy this collection of articles hand-selected for you this weekend. Grab some coffee, tea, or lemonade and be inspired to live a simpler life today.

60 Wasteful Things I Stopped Buying As A Minimalist | Minimal Ray by Ray Arya-Caspersen. In the following list, you’ll find things I no longer buy because they are senseless to buy, distractors, overpriced, time-consuming, or unsustainable.

The Best Way to Keep Up is to Slow Down | No Sidebar by Jay Harrington. Slow down and determine what really matters to you. The only thing worth keeping up with is your own vision of a life well lived.

Merry Minimalist Christmas! | Inquirer by Ar. Vittoria Mawis-Aliston. Christmas is the perfect opportunity to celebrate life’s little joys despite our challenges this year. If you’re feeling some anxiety about the holidays, why don’t you try celebrating the simple way for a change?

Six in 10 Americans See Gift Giving as a Competition, Survey Reveals | People by People Staff. Six in 10 Americans admit they see gift giving as a competition—and they’re trying to “out-gift” their circle of loved ones, according to new research.

7 Signs You Shouldn’t Buy Another Christmas Gift | Joshua Becker on YouTube.

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Simplify Magazine. Earlier this month, I released Issue #015 of Simplify Magazine: Positivity. For the month of December, we’re offering a “Buy One, Gift One” offer. Get one lifetime subscription for yourself and gift one complimentary subscription to a friend. That’s all past, present, and future issues of the ad-free, digital magazine for you and a friend for $20—but only this month.

7 Signs You Shouldn’t Buy Another Christmas Gift This Year

Christmas is a time for giving. But is there a chance we’re going a bit overboard with the gifting these days?

The average American will spend $805 this holiday season. And let’s face it, for the most part, we’re spending that $800 buying stuff we don’t really need.

I mean, look around your home, you already have everything. If you did need something, you already went to Amazon and bought it. You weren’t going to wait for someone else to wrap it and put it under a tree. 

In other words, the stuff we’re buying for each other isn’t necessary. It’s fun, sure. But at some point, enough is enough.

To help you decide if you’ve reached that point, here are 7 signs you shouldn’t buy another Christmas gift:

1. You are still paying off last year’s gifts.  

According to a recent study by Credit Insider, 22% of respondents who bought Christmas gifts with credit last year, are still paying it off. If that’s you, don’t continue the trend by purchasing more. It’s no fun if your interest payments last longer than the gift you gave. 

2. The person you are shopping for already has “everything.”

I can’t believe how many times I’ve heard someone say, “I just don’t know what to get so-and-so, he’s already ‘got everything’.” Crazy idea here, folks. If somebody already has so much stuff that you need to wander the aisles of a department store just to find something to buy them, your money can probably be spent in better ways.

3. The person you are shopping for has requested no gifts.

You’d be surprised how many times I’ve been asked, “How do I tell people to stop buying me gifts?” There is a growing number of people who honestly mean it when they say, “I don’t want anything for Christmas this year.” Respect their wishes. Before buying a whole bunch of new stuff this Christmas for people in your life, you might want to ask if they even want a whole bunch of new stuff.

4. The person you are buying a gift for already has a clutter-problem.

The average American home now contains 300,000 items. Possessions are a burden on our lives. They drain money, time, and energy. And they add stress. If the person you are shopping for has a clutter problem in their home (you know who they are), maybe the best gift you can give them this year is not a physical gift. 

5. You’ve already bought gifts for everyone on your list… except for one.

One of the most significant holiday trends over recent years is the increase in “self-gifting”—people treating themselves to presents when they are out shopping for others. In fact, according to the National Retail Federation, nearly 60% of us will give ourselves gifts this holiday season. If everyone on your list is crossed off, resist the urge to add one more name at the bottom—yours.

6. You are digging into savings.

Before entering the holiday season, it’s wise to set a budget to keep from overspending. Additionally, it’s wise to keep your savings in savings… not blow it all during the last month of the year. Unfortunately, 38.5% of us will take money from our savings/emergency fund for holiday shopping. If that’s you, don’t do it. Don’t buy another gift. Instead, explain to your family and friends the decision you made this year. They’ll understand—and just might change their budgeting for next year as a result of your example.

7. You think one more gift will make the perfect holiday.

Marketers work hard to convince us that consumer products will create that perfect holiday season. If we buy the right lights… and the biggest tree… and the perfect gifts… and the ideal stocking stuffers, Christmas will be perfect! This is their claim. But it’s not true. You don’t need any of those things for the perfect holiday. If you think your next purchase will bring about the perfect holiday, you are looking in all the wrong places and it’s time to stop.

Just to be clear, I’m not against giving gifts at Christmas. But I am against the way our society has begun to make gifts the centerpiece of Christmas and the shopping never ends. 

There are numerous signs that it’s time to be done shopping… if we’d only begin to notice them.

10 Intentional Ways to Reduce Holiday Stress

Relieving stress any time of the year is worth the effort.

But during the holidays, with the extra rush, hurry, and expectations, reducing stress is even more important.

Statistically speaking, people are more likely to feel their stress increase rather than decrease during the holidays. Let’s change that.

Here are 10 Intentional Ideas to Reduce Holiday Stress:

1. Don’t expect (or even pursue) perfection.

There is no such thing as perfect: the perfect tree, the perfect outdoor decoration, the perfect play, the perfect dinner, the perfect gift, the perfect Christmas morning, etc. They do not exist.

If you want to remove holiday stress, remove the pursuit of perfect and replace it with “my best effort.”

2. Don’t overspend your means.

77% of us expect to exceed our holiday budget this year (and only 37% will put a post-holiday budget plan in place to recover). Overspending your budget adds stress during the holiday and after—a double dose. Say no to holiday overspending. Choose to spend within your means instead.

3. Set boundaries if necessary, in relationships.

Relationships can be difficult and unhealthy family relationships can be extra strained during the holiday season. There are times, certainly, when it’s best to stay away entirely. But often times, families want to be together during the holidays.

If the idea of spending time with family causes stress in your life, make decisions about setting healthy boundaries. Here are some thoughts on how to do that.

4. Set healthy expectations for your kids.

“Maybe you’ll get it for Christmas” are some of the most dangerous words we can use during this season with our children. It sets an unhealthy expectation that the number of gifts under the tree will be limitless. But we all know that’s not going to be the case. And when it comes time to open the presents, our anxiety level is through the roof.

Instead, be sure to set reasonable expectations throughout the season.

5. Appreciate the simple and free.

Holidays don’t have to be expensive, rushed, and stressful. One important key to accomplishing this reality is to appreciate and find joy in the simple and free. Keep your tastes simple and enjoy the magical moments.

There is as much joy to be found in a conversation with your grandparent, a quiet snowfall, or baking cookies with your kids as you can find flying halfway around the world to a beach in the Caribbean or spending thousands of dollars on gifts.

Enjoy the simple and you’ll never run out of joy—because your holiday season is full of moments to enjoy.

6. Embrace a ‘less is more’ mentality.

In almost every case, less is more if you begin to see it.

You don’t need to spend days decorating the home with countless Christmas decorations when one box of meaningful decorations would suffice. You don’t need to make commitments every night of the week when a few strategic outings will fill your calendar enough. And you don’t need an entire tree stuffed with presents when a few thought-out gifts will be more appreciated anyway.

If you want to reduce stress during the holiday seasons, notice how less is more. And then embrace it fully.

7. Reflect on the positives often and regularly.

Stress increases when our attention is fixated on our problems or worries. Of course, life is never perfect and some problems/issues tend to be extra highlighted during the holiday season.

To counteract this, it is wise to be intentional and consistent with reflecting on the positives.

Maybe your extended family relationships aren’t perfect, but they are still better than other families. Maybe you didn’t get every gift you wanted for Christmas, but you certainly got some good ones. Or maybe your travel plans weren’t pulled off flawlessly, but at least you arrived at your destination.

Keep your attention on the positives in all situations.

8. Hire some help.

While not available for everyone, hiring some extra help during the holiday seasons is a great way to reduce some stress. Hire the neighbor boy to shovel your driveway throughout December, or hire the housekeeper to do some cleaning before your family arrives. Even if you’re not incredibly wealthy, it might be worth looking into your local pricing for such options. They might be more affordable than you think.

And since buying time is one of the three ways to spend money on happiness, it might just be worth the investment.

9. Don’t cross the same bridge twice.

There’s an old saying that goes like this, “We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”

The point of the saying is this: Don’t worry about a situation until that situation is actually in front of you. When you get to the bridge, cross it. You can’t cross it before you arrive at it anyway.

One reason the holidays can become stressful for us is we begin worrying about all the countless unhealthy and unhappy circumstances we might encounter. We worry about family, or travel, or plans, or the meal, etc. But worrying about a problem that may or may not arise in the future requires you to cross the bridge twice—once before it arrives and once when it arrives.

Determine this holiday season to not cross the bridge twice. Don’t let worry get the best of you. Rather than wasting energy imagining countless unenjoyable circumstances, decide to wait to see if they even arise. When they do, cross the bridge once—rather than twice.

10. Practice moderation.

Moderation, in so many ways, is the key to reducing stress during the holidays. Moderation in your diet, spending, commitments, alcohol, responsibilities, etc. From A to Z, embrace moderation throughout the holiday season. You’ll be glad you did—and so will everyone else.

A less stressed holiday season? Sounds lovely. And totally possible.

This Giving Tuesday, Giving Hope Has A Big Effect

Ever since I heard my friend Jeff Shinabarger say the phrase, “We’ll be known by the problems that we solve,” I’ve repeated it to myself countless times.

The truth is profound and life-changing. While each of our lives have various peaks and valleys, we’ll be remembered most, in the end, by the problems we solve—and perhaps along the way, how we helped others overcome their own.

Every day, each of us has an opportunity to wake up and make a difference.

Today is Giving Tuesday—a special day set aside to do just that. On Giving Tuesday, people around the world come together for a global day of generosity to solve problems and help others. And today, your generosity can be doubled.

This Giving Tuesday, I invite you to help solve a problem that impacts the most vulnerable among us—helping orphaned children around the world find loving families.

The Hope Effect

This month, we are celebrating the five-year anniversary of The Hope Effect—the nonprofit organization I launched in 2015 alongside you, the Becoming Minimalist community.

What problem could a community of millions, focused on not buying stuff, solve in the world? With that as the starting point, we dreamt big:

The mission of The Hope Effect is to change how orphans are cared for around the world.

Millions of children around the world are growing up without parents. Unfortunately, in most developing countries, orphans are raised in institutional orphanages, which has damaging long-term effects on children.

We’ve known for decades that when children grow up in orphanages, they don’t receive the love, support, and personal interaction found within the structure of a family. As a result, development is stunted and learning abilities are delayed or lost.

We know there’s a better way. Every child deserves a family.

That’s why The Hope Effect is working to provide family-style care for orphans around the world.

Partnering with local governments, we are pioneering and expanding this innovative style of orphan care in several locations, including both Mexico and Honduras. Our model of care mimics the family structure, allowing children to receive more individual attention while growing up in a stable family environment.

Children thrive under this type of loving care. They grow up knowing what it means to be part of a loving family. Children like Antonio*, a young boy from Sonora, Mexico, have hope for their future.

Antonio’s Story

Immediately after he was born, Antonio was abandoned in a hospital in Hermosillo, Mexico, the capital city of Sonora. Alone, from the moment of birth, he remained in the hospital while the authorities were called.

Until a few months ago, the only option for Antonio in the state of Sonora would have been to go into an orphanage, never knowing the love of a family. He would have been processed by the government and simply moved into an institution during a critical developmental time in his life.

But thankfully, today, there is now another option.

Because of the generosity from the Becoming Minimalist community, earlier this year, The Hope Effect became the first nonprofit to receive government approval to provide family-style care in the state of Sonora.

When Antonio was abandoned earlier this year, the government contacted our team in Hermosillo. After just a few days in the hospital, Antonio was placed into the loving home and arms of a family.

Antonio became the first child in the state of Sonora to be placed in family-style care without ever seeing the inside of an orphanage!

We are proud of the work we are doing. It is having impact in Mexico, Honduras, and around the world.

Today, Antonio is receiving the love and attention every child deserves. He is growing, thriving, and hitting every developmental milestone. Every day, his family looks at him with love in their eyes, letting him know he is cherished and valued.

That’s our hope for every child—that they would grow up knowing the love of a family. Because that is where kids thrive best and find the foundation to live their best lives making a difference in the world.

This Giving Tuesday, Giving Hope Has A Big Effect

If you are new to Becoming Minimalist, this may be the first time you’ve heard about the work we do for children around the world. Or maybe you’ve been a part of this community for longer than five years and remember when we first launched the initiative.

Either way, we want to celebrate with you. And I want to invite you to join us today.

If you want to make a difference in the lives of children like Antonio around the world, we’d be honored if you would join us today for Giving Tuesday.

Your gift of hope will have a big effect.

If you partner with us today, your gift will change lives and help more orphaned and vulnerable children find loving families. We are aiming to raise $75,000 on Giving Tuesday, which will allow us to place 200 children in family-style care by the end of next year!

If you give today, in the next 24 hours, a team of supporters has offered to match every donation dollar for dollar—up to $37,500—which will allow us to reach our $75,000 goal. That means your gift and your impact will be doubled if you choose to donate today.

The Hope Effect is a 501(c)(3) organization, so your donation is tax-deductible within the U.S. If you have additional questions about The Hope Effect, send us an email. We’d love to chat with anyone who would like to learn more.

Whether you can donate $5, $50, or $5,000, thank you so much for supporting The Hope Effect and our mission over the last five years. You are making a difference. And together, we are changing the way the world cares for orphans.

Thank you for donating on Giving Tuesday.

*The child’s name has been changed to protect his privacy.

Don’t Let Shopping Ruin Your Holiday Season

In the mid-1800s, stores first began using the imagery of Christmas to boost sales:

In the early 1800s, department store home magazines started publishing pictures of Christmas family gatherings to boost sales of products.



Retail stores began using images of Santa Claus in their store windows in the 1840s.



Macy’s became the first store, in 1862, to have Santa inside their store that children could visit in order to increase foot traffic.



Coca-Cola began featuring Santa in their advertising in the 1920s.



The term, Black Friday, caught on nationally in the 1980s to signify the day after Thanksgiving, pre-Christmas shopping frenzy.



Nowadays, “Christmas creep” is the term used to describe retailers who extend the Christmas shopping season by starting earlier and earlier. Most credit Lowe’s Home Improvement who made it a corporate policy in 2000 to begin displaying Christmas trees in their stores nationwide on October 1 every year.



And Cyber-Monday was first coined in 2005 as online retailers sought to take advantage of workers shopping habits as they returned to their high-speed Internet connections at the office following the long holiday weekend. 

In every case, we have been manipulated by marketers, advertisers, and retailers to shop more and more and more.

The artificial manipulation to change our wants and spending stems from our internal desire to create the perfect holiday experience with magical memories for our family and kids. Shopping promised to meet that need, but only detracts from it.

Retail promises the perfect Christmas, but ruins it instead.

Christmas has always meant family, and loved ones, and home… but ever since the mid-1800s that desire has been hijacked by consumeristic retailers to make money for themselves. Nowadays, Christmas is synonymous with shopping.

But this year, don’t let shopping ruin your holiday season.

I mean, if endless shopping and consumerism were actually improving our holiday season, maybe it would make sense to spend as much as you can. But in reality, it is not adding joy to our families, it is actually distracting from it.

Consider, for just a moment, how “shopping” may actually be detracting from your holiday joy:

1. Shopping is adding financial stress on to our lives.

In the United States, it has been calculated that a quarter of all personal spending takes place during the Christmas/holiday shopping season. In fact, over 1/4 of us will enter the holiday season still paying off debt from last year’s gift shopping. And while you may not be one of the 50% of shoppers who will overspend your holiday budget this year, that person sitting next to you at the holiday table, trying to keep up with your family tradition, is.

2. Shopping adds unnecessary mental stress to the holiday season.

We desire for the holiday season to be one of the most enjoyable seasons of the year. But in reality, “people in the United States are more likely to feel their stress increases rather than decreases during the holidays. The holidays can be a hectic time for many, and a lack of money, a lack of time, and the hype and commercialism of the season causes increased stress for people in this country.”

Shopping is resulting in the exact opposite emotions we desire during this holiday season.

3. Shopping takes time—lots of it during the holidays.

The average consumer expects to spend 25 hours over the next month shopping for gifts, waiting in lines, wrapping those gifts, and eventually returning them after the holidays.

Many will note, correctly so, that the holiday season always feels particularly rushed and hectic. The extra shopping connected to the season is the reason why.

 4. Shopping results in additional unmet expectations.

Retailers work hard to promise a perfect Christmas to each of us. If we buy the right gifts, the right decorations, the right tree, the right brand of ham or soda, our holiday season will be unmistakably magical.

But that is very rarely the case. Our shopping produces the opposite effect.

53.1% of people report to receiving unwanted gifts during Christmas. $16 billion is wasted on unwanted gifts every year. And 18% of gifts are never used by the person who receives them. 4% are immediately thrown into the trash.

5. Overshopping sets a dangerous precedent.

I hear from many parents, “How can we change the way we give gifts this year to our children? We give too many gifts each year and want to cut back, but we don’t want them to be disappointed. We don’t see a way out.”

Lifestyle creep is not just for adults… the phenomena exists for children as well. What is set as normal in your family is always difficult to walk back. What may seem like overshopping this year will become the expectation for next year. Even more, it will set the precedent for them when they become parents.

6. Shopping puts focus on the wrong things.

When presents and decorations become our focus and desire, we miss all the blessings right in front of us. Consumerism has a nasty tendency to shift our focus off the good things we possess, and put our desire towards all the things we don’t have.

Whether your holiday season is about family, faith, or both… shopping always distracts from it.

Consumerism makes promises it can never deliver.

And your holidays will be better without it.

We will celebrate Christmas in our home this year. We will exchange gifts (our kids receive one thing they want, one thing they need, and one experience to share with the family—and my wife and I exchange one quality gift between us).

We will spend time with loved ones.

We will put up a tree and one box of meaningful decorations to celebrate the season. We will celebrate our faith and would normally attend some special holiday gatherings (most of which have been cancelled this year unfortunately).

We’ll drive around and look at Christmas lights in our neighborhood. We’ll bake Christmas cookies and watch Christmas movies.

Our season will be memorable because we won’t let shopping ruin it.

Neither should you.

Use This Holiday Season to Clean Up Messes

I have a vivid memory from my teenage years.

One particular winter weekend, my parents left town while my brother, sister, and I (all in our upper teens) stayed home.

Of course, as teenagers tend to do, we weren’t particularly prompt in cleaning the house over the weekend. Dishes got left on the counter, wrappers got left in the living room, dirty clothes got left in random places, and the bathroom counters filled with stuff. Messes popped up everywhere.

(It’s actually pretty surprising how messy a house can get over the course of 4 days with just 3 teenagers… plus a few friends I suppose).

“But hey, not to worry,” we all thought, “our parents won’t get home until late Sunday night. We’ll have plenty of time to clean before they arrive.”

Of course, if you know where this story is heading, our parents pulled back into the driveway hours before their planned return. I can only assume the moment walking through the front door and seeing our mess everywhere was just as memorable for them as it was for us.

If they found any enjoyment in their weekend away, it vanished within seconds of opening the door. A mess is never enjoyable.

I have since come to view messes differently these days and have learned the importance of cleaning along the way.

It was Gretchen Rubin’s one-minute rule that changed my view on cleaning messes. As she explains it:

“It’s very simple: I must do any task that can be finished in one minute. Hang up my coat, read a letter and toss it, fill in a form, answer an email, note down a citation, pick up my phone messages, file a paper, put a dish in the dishwasher, replenish the diaper supply by the changing table, put the magazines away… and so on.”

That habit has changed my life in countless ways. By cleaning messes immediately when they arise, we bring positive effect on our lives.

Conversely, messes that collect and remain over time have a negative impact on our lives:

They weigh on us mentally because we always know, in the back of our mind, they need to be handled.



Messes that are not cleaned become harder to clean over time. I always think of tomato sauce on a plate… easy to clean immediately, hard to clean later.



Messes that are not cleaned gather blame. Over time, we even begin to debate who caused the mess in the first place.



Messes that are not cleaned collect more mess. Clutter collects on top of clutter and the mess gets bigger and bigger.

It is far better, by every possible measure, to simply clean our messes right away.

This holiday season, clean up any messes that occur in your home. And do so immediately, rather than allowing them to exist and grow.

—

But maybe, the importance of cleaning up messes this holiday season should extend beyond the pile of dishes in your kitchen sink.

Maybe there are greater “messes” that call for your attention and this is the season to finally take a step toward resolving them.

The holiday season is to be a celebration of peace, goodwill, reconciliation, and love. But for many families, thoughts of peace rarely accompany the holiday season. Instead, years of bitterness, resentment, and depression have piled up on top of misconceptions, misunderstandings, and misbehavior.

Messes have emerged… and continue to remain.

Family peace was lost years ago—and is yet to be reclaimed.

It seems to me this year, more than any other, we are being reminded of the importance of close relationships. We’re being reminded that at the end of the day, what really matters is that your loved ones are safe and you’ve done your best to live your life to the fullest.

Maybe this holiday season is the holiday season to clean up any remaining messes—within your family or other close relationships that need resolution.

But how do we accomplish this?

1. Admit that a mess exists.

Relationships are not always easy. If there is something between you and a loved one or an old friend, take notice and admit it’s time to work toward resolution.

2. Get over trying to assign blame.

Messes never get cleaned if we continually blame others for it. The mess may not be your fault, but if everybody keeps waiting for the other person to take the first step, it will never happen.

3. Decide to be the one to take the first step.

Determine to be the peacemaker. You may think you have time to do it later, but this year has taught us that is not always the case.

4. Take one step.

Make the bold decision to be the first in your family to offer peace and reconciliation and take one step. Maybe just a simple phone call, “Hey, I’m just calling to wish you happy holidays. I know we’ve had disagreements in the past, but I just want you to know that I love you very much and I hope we can put them behind us…”

5. Mentally prepare for any response.

One small step may be all that is needed to begin bringing closure. Or, it may not. You may not receive the response you desire and may experience rejection again. So be mentally prepared for any response. Either way, you have done the right thing and accept their response with grace.

6. In all circumstances, seek to leave every relationship better than you found it.

One of my first bosses taught me that when I saw him bend down and pick up a dirty paper towel off the bathroom floor. “Joshua, leave every room cleaner than you found it,” he said. The principle should also apply to our relationships.

This holiday season, leave every room a little cleaner than you found it.

And leave every person a little better than you found them as well.

This season more than ever. And this year more than ever.

Use This Holiday Season to Clean Up Any Mess

I have a vivid memory from my teenage years.

One particular winter weekend, my parents left town while my brother, sister, and I (all in our upper teens) stayed home.

Of course, as teenagers tend to do, we weren’t particularly prompt in cleaning the house over the weekend. Dishes got left on the counter, wrappers got left in the living room, dirty clothes got left in random places, and the bathroom counters filled with stuff. Messes popped up everywhere.

(It’s actually pretty surprising how messy a house can get over the course of 4 days with just 3 teenagers… plus a few friends I suppose).

“But hey, not to worry,” we all thought, “our parents won’t get home until late Sunday night. We’ll have plenty of time to clean before they arrive.”

Of course, if you know where this story is heading, our parents pulled back into the driveway hours before their planned return. I can only assume the moment walking through the front door and seeing our mess everywhere was just as memorable for them as it was for us.

If they found any enjoyment in their weekend away, it vanished within seconds of opening the door. A mess is never enjoyable.

I have since come to view messes differently these days and have learned the importance of cleaning along the way.

It was Gretchen Rubin’s one-minute rule that changed my view on cleaning messes. As she explains it:

“It’s very simple: I must do any task that can be finished in one minute. Hang up my coat, read a letter and toss it, fill in a form, answer an email, note down a citation, pick up my phone messages, file a paper, put a dish in the dishwasher, replenish the diaper supply by the changing table, put the magazines away… and so on.”

That habit has changed my life in countless ways. By cleaning messes immediately when they arise, we bring positive effect on our lives.

Conversely, messes that collect and remain over time have a negative impact on our lives:

They weigh on us mentally because we always know, in the back of our mind, they need to be handled.



Messes that are not cleaned become harder to clean over time. I always think of tomato sauce on a plate… easy to clean immediately, hard to clean later.



Messes that are not cleaned gather blame. Over time, we even begin to debate who caused the mess in the first place.



Messes that are not cleaned collect more mess. Clutter collects on top of clutter and the mess gets bigger and bigger.

It is far better, by every possible measure, to simply clean our messes right away.

This holiday season, clean up any messes that occur in your home. And do so immediately, rather than allowing them to exist and grow.

—

But maybe, the importance of cleaning up messes this holiday season should extend beyond the pile of dishes in your kitchen sink.

Maybe there are greater “messes” that call for your attention and this is the season to finally take a step toward resolving them.

The holiday season is to be a celebration of peace, goodwill, reconciliation, and love. But for many families, thoughts of peace rarely accompany the holiday season. Instead, years of bitterness, resentment, and depression have piled up on top of misconceptions, misunderstandings, and misbehavior.

Messes have emerged… and continue to remain.

Family peace was lost years ago—and is yet to be reclaimed.

It seems to me this year, more than any other, we are being reminded of the importance of close relationships. We’re being reminded that at the end of the day, what really matters is that your loved ones are safe and you’ve done your best to live your life to the fullest.

Maybe this holiday season is the holiday season to clean up any remaining messes—within your family or other close relationships that need resolution.

But how do we accomplish this?

1. Admit that a mess exists.

Relationships are not always easy. If there is something between you and a loved one or an old friend, take notice and admit it’s time to work toward resolution.

2. Get over trying to assign blame.

Messes never get cleaned if we continually blame others for it. The mess may not be your fault, but if everybody keeps waiting for the other person to take the first step, it will never happen.

3. Decide to be the one to take the first step.

Determine to be the peacemaker. You may think you have time to do it later, but this year has taught us that is not always the case.

4. Take one step.

Make the bold decision to be the first in your family to offer peace and reconciliation and take one step. Maybe just a simple phone call, “Hey, I’m just calling to wish you happy holidays. I know we’ve had disagreements in the past, but I just want you to know that I love you very much and I hope we can put them behind us…”

5. Mentally prepare for any response.

One small step may be all that is needed to begin bringing closure. Or, it may not. You may not receive the response you desire and may experience rejection again. So be mentally prepared for any response. Either way, you have done the right thing and accept their response with grace.

6. In all circumstances, seek to leave every relationship better than you found it.

One of my first bosses taught me that when I saw him bend down and pick up a dirty paper towel off the bathroom floor. “Joshua, leave every room cleaner than you found it,” he said. The principle should also apply to our relationships.

This holiday season, leave every room a little cleaner than you found it.

And leave every person a little better than you found them as well.

This season more than ever. And this year more than ever.

3 Reasons to Minimize Every Room in Your Home

The benefits of minimalism are best experienced when it is fully applied.

Therefore, if you want to appreciate all the freedom that comes from owning less, you’ll want to declutter every room in your home.

Now, surely, some rooms are easier to declutter than others. But each space provides unique opportunity and benefit for you and your family.

To spark some inspiration in your life (and home), here are 3 reasons to minimize every room in your home. If you need extra motivation to tackle any room in your home, you can find it here:

Living Room Benefits:



More peaceful rest time with family.Easier to entertain family and friends.Easier to clean and reset each evening.



Bedroom Benefits:



More relaxing environment.Better sleep.Better sex.

*How to Minimize Your Bedroom

Wardrobe Closet Benefits:



Fewer decisions each morning.Less guilt about clothes you don’t wear.More time in the morning for other things.

*A Practical Guide to Owning Fewer Clothes

Bathroom Benefits:



More pleasant getting ready experience.Easier to clean and maintain.Start your day stress-free rather than stress-filled.



Toy Room Benefits:



Easier for kids to find toys.Easier for kids to clean up.Children learn valuable boundary-setting skills.

*A Helpful Guide for Decluttering Toys

Kitchen Benefits:



More enjoyable cooking.Easier to clean after meals.Sets the tone and culture for the entire home.

*Six Steps for Decluttering Your Kitchen

Pantry Benefits:



Easier to know what you have.Easier to locate items you need.More likely to keep healthy food around.



Dining Room Benefits:



Easier to prepare the table for each meal.More space for loved ones.Less distraction while focusing on food, faith, and family.



Linen Closet Benefits:



Always know what linens/towels/rags you have.Own higher quality linens/towels/etc.Easier to organize and maintain.



Home Office Benefits:



More productive worktime.Easier to find paperwork.Enjoy your workspace more.



Laundry Room Benefits:



More efficient workspace.More enjoyable workspace.Who wants to spend more time in the laundry room? Yuck.



Arts & Craft Room Benefits



More joy while doing your hobby.Less guilt about unused supplies.Better art.



Basement/Attic Benefits:



Less stress and worry about “finally cleaning out the attic…”Brings more value to the sentimental items you keep.Less work for someone else.



Garage Benefits:



Less stress when arriving home each day.More room to park your car(s).Less likely to bump into things/hurt yourself when getting in/out.

*How to Declutter Large, Overwhelming Spaces

You’ll love minimalism best when you apply it fully in your home.

If you’re looking for decluttering help in any specific room, our Clutterfree app provides a helpful checklist for each and all of them.

Life is Full of First Days

“One day or day one. You decide.”

Looking back, it is easy to see that life is full of “first days.”

My first day of high school.
My first day being married.
My first day being a parent.
My first day living in Arizona.
My first day of being a full-time writer.

There are a countless number of first days that I could list. And they come in all different shapes and sizes.

For example:

Some first days are big, like the first day of being married. But others are small, such as the first day of a diet or the first day of a new workout routine.



Some first days are expected and we see them coming, like the first day in a new job. But some are incredibly unexpected, such as the first day after suddenly losing a loved one, or the first day after discovering someone we love has cancer.



Some first days affect us for the rest of our lives, while others are trivial and quickly forgotten.

No matter how you look at it, life is full of first days.

And maybe that is exactly the good news you need to hear today.

Because life is full of first days, today can be the first day you need it to be.

Are you struggling with an addiction? Maybe today is the first day you ask for help.



Are you caught in a spiral of overspending and debt? Maybe today is the first day you decide to get help and change your spending habits.



Are you living in an abusive relationship? Maybe today is the first day you decide to get out once and for all.



Is your potential in life being hindered by an unhealthy habit? Maybe today is the first day you decide to replace it with something healthy.



Has unforgiveness and resentment taken root in your life? Maybe today is the first day you take a step to reconcile that relationship.

The opportunities for experiencing a new first day are all around us.

Have you been a neglectful father? Maybe today is the first day you decide to make amends and make it right.



Do you have a passion for a new career? Maybe today is the first day you start taking steps toward it.



Have you been reading about minimalism for months, but never began applying the principles to your life? Maybe today is the first day you decide to fully embrace it.

There are some people who fear the reality that life is constantly changing. But positive change is never to be feared—it is to be welcomed and celebrated.

What is the change needed in your life today? What is the first day you’ve been waiting so long to experience in your life?

Go, make it so. There’s no better day than today. And there’s no better time than right now.