Joshua Becker's Blog, page 55

Take Control of Your Home. Get Uncluttered Today.

“I have significantly less stress in my life and more self-control. Most importantly, I’m becoming more like the mom and wife I want to be.” — Caryn Seney

Becoming Minimalist is a website that reaches people from every walk of life—those who are living a minimalist life, those who are just discovering it, and those who are in the process of achieving it.

I have talked and emailed with many of you. And I know the process is easier for some than others.

There are many of you reading this blog who desire to live a more minimalist life, but are struggling to achieve it. You want to own less, but you’re not sure where to start or how to get there.

Uncluttered was created specifically for you.

Uncluttered

Uncluttered is a 12-week online course designed to help you own less, live more, and discover the life you’ve always wanted.

Tens of thousands of people, from all over the world, have used the principles to declutter their home and life, and you can too.

I only offer the course three times per year and this is the last time we will be offering it this year—with enough time to declutter the most lived-in areas of your home in time for the holidays.

But registration ends on Sunday, September 20.

The course includes…

Videos with step-by-step instructions Interviews with leaders in productivity and minimalism Live webinars tackling specific clutter topics Live Q&As for members to ask me questions Weekly challenges And perhaps best of all: accountability and encouragement from a super-engaged community

Every Monday, you receive a video from me, an exclusive interview with one of the brightest minds in the simplicity movement, and/or written content prepared exclusively for the course. You will receive a weekly challenge to complete and opportunities to engage with the community in a private Facebook group and with me during live webinars and live question and answer opportunities.

The course offers everything a book or blog post cannot: community, accountability, and opportunity to ask questions.

Family

If you have a family, we provide extra helpful resources to help you navigate this process together.

There is a section of resources including a family-specific webinar to answer your questions, a free Children’s ebook to read with your kids, a downloadable copy of my book Clutterfree with Kids, and a Couple’s Discussion Guide to spark conversation with your spouse or partner.

More than anything else, I want you to be successful during this 12-week course and will provide every resource to help you do that.

The Details

Again, this is the final time we are offering the course this year. If you’ve been thinking about joining, now is the time!

The course begins on Tuesday, September 22. Registration is open now, but only for the next 10 days—ending September 20.

The cost is $89. But you can find a 25% off discount code in the back of The Minimalist Home or The More of Less. Neither book is required for the course—it’s just usually cheaper to buy the book and use the discount code than it is to pay full price—the option is yours.

I am personally involved in every aspect of the course. Helping people live more by owning less is what I am passionate about. I host the webinars. I answer questions in the Facebook group. And I host the live Q&As. I have come to understand how essential community, accountability, and ongoing encouragement is for people. And I work hard to craft that culture for the Uncluttered Course.

When you join Uncluttered, you’ll receive lifetime access. That means you can take it as many times as you want (or need). I know life can be busy, and the unexpected can happen at any time (especially this year). But we’re here to help you succeed. And if you ever want to do the course again, or just enjoy a decluttering refresher, you’ll be welcomed back free of charge.

Stop letting guilt and overwhelm stand in your way. The home you want is less than 12 weeks away.

Visit Uncluttered to join us.

Feel Guilty Getting Rid of Stuff? Don’t.

As we minimize possessions, how do we overcome the guilt of money spent on things in the past?

As part of Uncluttered, I answer lots of questions from participants as they seek to own less. I’ve answered thousands over the years.

And by far, one of the most common questions I hear is, “What do I do about all the money that I wasted on things? How do I get rid of things that I spent so much money on?”

It is a significant roadblock for many people and I want to try to answer that question for you today.

I’d like to accomplish in three ways: First, by introducing an Accounting principle, and then by reminding each of us about two truths about life that are incredibly important.

First, the Accounting principle of Sunk Cost.

In college, at the University of Nebraska, I learned about the sunk cost trap (my major was Finance).

Sunk cost is an accounting term that has countless applications to the way we live. The principle is this:

A sunk cost refers to money that has already been spent and which cannot be recovered. It should be excluded from future business decisions because the cost will remain the same regardless of the outcome of a decision.

It looks a little something like this. Let’s say I spent $10,000 on a business machine to do a task three years ago. But now, there is a new machine to accomplish the task that only costs $5,000. It does the work better, faster, more efficiently, and higher quality. It is unwise to think exclusively, “I am not going to buy the new machine because I spent so much money on the old machine.”

The principle also applies to life outside of business. Correctly applied and considered, the sunk cost principle is incredibly freeing.

Just because we wasted a lot of time and energy and money on things in the past, doesn’t mean we need to hold onto them if they’re not contributing to us living our best life today. Don’t cling to a past mistake just because you spent a long time making it

Second, two truths about life to help us overcome guilt.

1. We cannot change the past.

We simply cannot go back and redo any events from our past. There are countless moments and decisions I wish I could undo, but the reality of life is that is not possible—ever.

When it comes to overcoming the guilt of an expensive purchase, unless the tags are still on the item, you cannot go back and unpurchase the item. It is done. It is over. It happened. And nothing is going to change that fact.

Which makes the second truth about life even more important:

2. We cannot change the past, but we can always learn from it.

When we learn life lessons from our past mistakes and determine to not make them again in the future, we begin to redeem the past. It begins to serve us and contributes to a brighter and better future.

We cannot undo the purchase decision, but the money becomes less wasted when we learn a lesson from it. If you feel guilt in removing possessions that you spent considerable money on in the past, learn from that guilt. Don’t allow it to paralyze you, but learn from it and move forward in freedom.

And when you remove those items, look for the best places for them to go. Maybe someone else can use them, maybe they can be sold or recycled, but don’t continue to carry that guilt and burden into the future.

There is not a doubt in my mind you will love owning less. You’ll find more money and more time and more energy and more focus. You will be able to live a more fulfilled life focused on things that matter most. To get there, almost all of us need to overcome the money that we wasted on things in the past.

Choose to live for the invisible and the eternal—not physical things that perish, spoil, and fade.

Encouraging Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

Minimalism is the intentional promotion of the things we most value and the removal of anything that distracts us from it. It requires a conscious decision because it is a countercultural lifestyle that stands against the culture of overconsumption that surrounds us.

The world we live in is not friendly to the pursuit of minimalism. Its tendencies and relentless advertising campaigns call us to acquire more, better, faster, and newer. The journey of finding simplicity requires consistent inspiration.

For that reason, I hope you will make an effort this weekend to find a quiet moment with a cup of coffee or tea and enjoy some of these hand-picked articles to encourage more simplicity in your life.

If Getting Back to Normal Means Mindless Shopping, Forget It | The Guardian by Suzanne Moore. The cycle of consumption has been transformed by the pandemic and we have seen through the miserable con of ‘retail therapy.’

7 Things I Love About Minimalism | Medium by Megan Holstein. Minimalism saves time, saves money, and makes me a better person.

The True Essence of Minimalism, and How You Can Live It | Pop! by Nel Villagracia. Minimalism isn’t just about living in an empty space and wearing black and white clothes every day. It’s a state of mind that goes much deeper than what it looks like on the surface.

Your To-Do List Is, in Fact, Too Long | Harvard Business Review by Peter Bregman. The one-thing list reflects a strategic and intentional choice about what you will do next and continue to focus on until it’s done.

What is the Diderot Effect? (And How to Overcome It) | Joshua Becker on YouTube

Remove Possessions to Remove Visual Noise

“Visual noise” is a phenomenon most people experience, but a term rarely used. We feel it every day but have never uttered the phrase.

However, for the sake of your home, your work, your kids, and your sanity, allow me a moment to explain it.

Visual noise is “any random visual stimulus.”

Just like your ear sends electrical signals to your brain when sound is present, your eyes constantly send electrical signals to your brain when visual stimuli is present. The more physical clutter that surrounds us, the more visual noise we experience.

Of course, because we are surrounded by sights and sounds continuously (if our senses are working properly), our brain learns to quickly process and interpret these stimuli.

However, an overdose of stimuli can still overwhelm us.

Just imagine how your brain responds to a crowded street corner, a rock concert, or a packed ballgame. In those immediate surroundings, our brains learn to adapt to the increased stimuli. But when we leave the stadium and walk to our car in quiet, we begin to realize fully just how loud it had actually been inside.

We feel the weight of how that level of noise had impacted our senses.

We can even feel the impact of too much stimuli in smaller scenarios such as turning off the radio while driving to focus on the directions or muting the television for an important conversation.

Well, it turns out, visual noise (visual clutter) has the same negative effect on our brains.

It’s one of the reasons why you can close your eyes and feel the difference on your shoulders when you imagine sitting in a cluttered room compared to sitting in a tidy room. Just like our brain doesn’t always reveal to us the full weight of noise until it is removed, our brains don’t always reveal to us the high level of visual clutter until we remove ourselves from the physical space.

But every physical item surrounding us adds to the volume of visual noise in our environment.

This understanding is vitally important to us. Especially as we spend more and more time at home these days. Or as our home becomes the place our children learn and/or we conduct our work.

The negative effect of too much visual noise is well documented:

Visual noise hinders our ability to concentrate.

Visual noise contributes to fatigue.

Visual noise slows our ability to learn.

Visual noise makes it harder to communicate.

And it may even cause migraines to be worse.

Based on these findings, creating a calm, peaceful, visually quiet environment is one of the most important efforts we can embark upon in our home.

It is to your benefit—especially if you are working from home.

It is to your partner’s benefit.

And it is to your child’s benefit—especially if they are learning from home and the need to concentrate is greater than ever.

The only way to lessen visual noise in your home is to own fewer possessions. Here’s how to get started.

Remove possessions, reduce visual noise, and focus your senses on the things that matter most.

Life is Too Short…

Seneca once wrote:

It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it. Life is long enough, and a sufficiently generous amount has been given to us for the highest achievements if it were all well invested. But when it is wasted in heedless luxury and spent on no good activity, we are forced at last by death’s final constraint to realize that it has passed away before we knew it was passing. So it is: we are not given a short life but we make it short, and we are not ill-supplied but wasteful of it… Life is long if you know how to use it.

This is a profound statement and I would encourage you to read it again. The more I read it, the more I am inspired by it.

These phrases stick out the most to me:

“It is not that we have a short time to live… but that we waste a lot of it…”

“Life is long enough for the highest achievements if it were all well invested…”

“It is wasted in heedless luxury and spent on no good activity…”

“We are not given a short life but we make it short, and we are not ill-supplied but wasteful of it…”

I should, perhaps, end this article right now—with Seneca’s own words—rather than thinking I can improve upon them.

But maybe, for just a few short sentences, I will comment.

You (the person reading these words right now) were designed to achieve great things! You are unique in your being, your substance, your abilities, and your relationships. And there is no one else on the face of the earth who can live your life and accomplish your good.

Please, do not forget that.

There is no doubt that “success” and “achievement” are relative words and your highest achievement is different from someone else’s highest achievement. You may never lead thousands or cure cancer. But make no mistake:

There is a good that you are designed to bring into this world. And there are people in your life that you can serve and love better than anyone else.

Your highest achievement will be different than mine, but we both have one. And “life is long enough for us to achieve it.”

Unless, as Seneca wrote, “Our lives are wasted in needless luxury and spent on no good activity.”

It is up to us to decide, every day, to focus our energies on those things worthy of the one life we have been given.

Discard the inessential. Remove the distractions. Reject worthless activity.

Your life is too short… to waste accumulating material possessions.

Your life is too short… to be offended all the time.

Your life is too short… to chase accolades.

Your life is too short… to compare it to others.

Your life is too short… to waste watching 6 hours of television/day.

Your life is too short… to pursue riches.

Your life is too short… to not believe in yourself.

Your life is too short… to not forgive.

Your life is too short… to not speak your mind.

Your life is too short… to worry about the future.

Your life is too short… to regret the past.

Your life is too short… to live in fear.

Your life is too short… to be unhappy.

Your life is too short… to waste time on the trivial.

—

Your life is too short… to live like everyone else.

Your life is too short… to not be true to yourself.

And life is too short to wait.

To Pursue Minimalism, Change the Questions You Ask

I was introduced to minimalism in a sentence. But that sentence was quickly followed by a question.

On a Saturday afternoon, after spending many hours cleaning my garage while my 5-year old son kept asking me to play catch in the backyard, I began complaining to my neighbor about the project and the time it had taken to clean my garage.

She responded with a sentence, “Yeah, that’s why my neighbor is a minimalist. She keeps telling me I don’t need all this stuff.”

I looked over at the pile of dirty, dusty possessions in my driveway. As I did, in the corner of my eye, I saw my son swinging alone in the back yard—where he’d been all morning. Suddenly, I realized something important:

My possessions were not bringing joy into my life, they were actually distracting me from it.

I was struck in that moment with a burning question that I had never asked myself before, “What could my life look like if I didn’t own so much stuff?”

My entire life (growing up middle class in the middle of America) I had been told, “Make more, buy more, enjoy life more.”

But in that moment, everything changed. The truths that I believed to be true about life were replaced with an entirely new question, “What would happen if I owned less?”

The answer was not hard to imagine: If I owned less stuff, I’d have more money, more time, and more energy for the things that matter most.

The existence of an entirely new worldview was discovered… by asking myself a question I’d never thought to ask.

I have found, along my path to becoming minimalist, that learning to ask new questions is a powerful and effective strategy to owning less—almost essential. And that many of the obstacles to minimalism can be overcome by learning to ask different questions.

For example:

Instead of asking: “What if I throw out something I need later?”

Ask: “What if I keep a whole bunch of stuff I never end up using?”

Suddenly, you begin to see your hard decisions in a new light. Living your whole life with a house full of stuff you don’t use adds stress and anxiety and robs someone else of the opportunity to use it. There are negatives to holding on to things “just in case” we need them. But we rarely think of the negative consequences because we never ask the question.

Learning to ask a new question helps us overcome this obstacle to minimalist living.

The strategy can be tried in countless scenarios.

Here are some more:

Instead of “What if I lose friends because I choose a minimalist life?”

Ask “If my friends stop hanging out with me because I no longer buy the same things they do, are they really my friends in the first place?”

If you need nice things to impress your friends, they probably aren’t worth impressing anyway.

–

Instead of “Will I regret not making this purchase today?”

Ask: “What could I do with the money instead?”

Because there is a good chance you could find more happiness and meaning not buying the thing you don’t need.

–

Instead of “What if so-and-so gets mad because I got rid of the gift they bought me?”

Ask “Would my friend want me to keep around something I don’t need just because they gave it to me as a gift?

If you gave a gift to a friend and found out they no longer wanted it, would you want them to keep it just because you bought it? Probably not. Most people don’t give gifts to be a burden. Like you, most people would be upset that you kept something you didn’t want just because they gave it to you.

–

Instead of “What if my kids get jealous because they don’t have as much stuff as the neighborhood kids?”

Ask “What life lessons are my kids learning if I buy them every toy they want?”

I’ll never regret the life lessons my kids have learned while we pursued minimalism. They have learned that you don’t overcome envy by giving into it. And they have learned to find contentment and happiness with what they have.

–

Instead of “What if I get bored owning less?”

Ask “What might I be able to accomplish if possessions were not weighing me down?”

Rather than assuming you will be bored, trust in yourself and all you can accomplish. You’ll never know how far you can fly until you loosen the weight holding you down.

–

Instead of taking no steps because “What am I going to do with my partner’s stuff?”

Ask “Which of my own stuff can I minimize first?”

You may be surprised how much of a difference you can make in your home by focusing on just your own stuff.

–

Instead of “How am I ever going to minimize _________?”

Ask “Have I seen owning less benefit my life? Well then, how am I going to apply the principles here?”

You see, you don’t need to have all the answers before you get started. Where there is a will there is a way. And it’s true. If you’ve seen the benefits of owning less in other areas of your life, you’ll be able to find a workable solution for your book collection, paper piles, or yarn stash.

–

Instead of “What am I removing from my life?” Ask “What am I adding?”

And rather than wondering “What if I fail?” Consider “What if I succeed?”

The next time you feel stuck, test out this little strategy. Try thinking through the problem from the other side and discover a brand new question to ask. You may be surprised how it changes your outlook.

10 Decluttering Skills Every Parent Needs

Note: This is a guest post from Sandy Kreps of Modern Simplicity.

Stuff Management is an important life skill—not just for parents, but for the kids we are raising. Parents often stress about how to keep on top of their kids’ toys, books, and clothes, neglecting an important facet of life with kids:

Kids can’t learn to manage their own stuff if they don’t get the practice and support to do so.

Children need to learn how to sort through messes and decide what’s important to keep and what’s not. When my kids are grown, I want them to be armed with the skills necessary to manage their possessions, which means I need to help them practice now.

Many parents I’ve talked to are overwhelmed trying to manage their own home, let alone the prospect of teaching their children how to declutter and organize their own stuff.

But I’ve found there are only 10 critical decluttering skills that parents need to teach their children how to manage their own stuff and set them up for success in the future.

If you can conquer them all, your kids will be way ahead of most.

Ten Critical Decluttering Skills that Parents Need



1. The ability to distinguish between a “want” and a “need.”

A key part of decluttering and simplifying is the ability to determine what actually constitutes a “need” versus what items fall under the category of “wants.”

It can be difficult to tell them apart sometimes, particularly for children and teens. The basic idea of food, shelter, and clothing as needs is not as black and white as it may seem.

Yes, clothing is necessary, but are designer jeans a need? A letter jacket? New shoes? In some families, a cell phone may be a need for teens with lots of extracurricular activities, a job, or access to their own transportation, but is a smart phone a need or a want?

It really depends on the individual lifestyle and preferences of the family. Needs versus wants will be different for each family, and it’s up to parents to decide what falls into each category—not just for their stuff, but for your stuff as well.

In a multi-parent family, parents should work to be on the same page with what constitutes a need and present a united front to kids for consistency’s sake. 

2. The willingness to model desired behavior.

Creating a minimalist lifestyle is not a “do as I say, not as I do” affair.

Parents have to be ready and willing to model the lifestyle they want their kids to reflect. Kids need to see their parents getting rid of their own clutter, curating their own possessions, taking responsible care of their own stuff, managing their own tasks and commitments, prioritizing what’s really important—BEFORE parents expect to see these traits regularly in their children. 

3. An encouraging, coaching spirit.

Being a “Decluttering Dictator” isn’t going to work. Sorry, it just won’t.

Demanding that your kids get rid of their stuff isn’t going to result in long-term change—it’s just going to generate anger, frustration, and rebellion.

Encouragement, thoughtful consideration, and the willingness to coach instead of command are keys to teaching kids how to manage their own stuff. We want to instill good habits that can last a lifetime, not just temporary “my house, my rules” behavior. 

4. The desire to ask the right questions.

Decluttering isn’t about just tossing everything that isn’t needed. It’s about looking at items with the intention of keeping what is useful and fulfilling.

The questions don’t stop at “do you use or wear this right now?” That’s too simplistic, especially for kids who still place emotional value in material objects. 

We experienced a house fire a few years ago, and the aftermath has had a noticeable effect on how each of my kids manage their stuff.

My younger son, a preteen, keeps everything. There’s an unconscious fear of losing it all again. Keeping his nest feathered with lots of stuff, particularly stuffed animals and soft blankets, makes him feel safer and happier. He’s allowed to keep what he wants within the boundaries of his room and with a mandate that the room stays reasonably tidy.

My older son, a teen, realized he didn’t need, or even wants, a bunch of “stuff” to deal with anymore, and he has become a minimalist with a fondness for higher quality items that will last and that make him feel good. He has nicer things now that he puts a lot of thought into curating, and he’s quick to discard things he’s not using, aren’t “right,” or don’t suit him.

Decluttering has to be tailored to suit the kid’s personality and headspace, and you need to be willing to go beyond the easy “are you still using this” question. Other questions to consider include:

Do you use this regularly?Does this item make you happy?Does it help you feel safe? Loved?Does this item bring up sad feelings?How would you feel if this item was gone?What feelings do you have when you hold this item? 



5. The willingness to stay hands off.

As difficult as it can be, kids need to be in the driver’s seat when it comes to managing their own possessions, particularly as they get older.

Obviously tiny tots and preschoolers need lots of help, but older kids and teens need the respect and responsibility of deciding for themselves how to manage their possessions. If you’re modeling the behavior you wish to instill and helping your kids ask the right questions when it comes to making choices about what to keep and what to let go of, you have to trust that your kids can make the best decisions for themselves—with you there for guidance, not guilt.

6. Except when hand-on assistance is needed and/or wanted.

There is a time to back off and a time to get involved, and when help is needed, parents need to be willing to step in and offer the assist.

Chances are good that at some point, your child is going to want your help with their stuff. The important skill is the ability to help without feeling the need to jump in and take over (or if you do feel that need, the ability to restrain yourself!)

Kids need guidance and mentoring—they don’t need us to jump in and do it for them.

If I see my child struggling with managing his stuff, I’ll offer to help. Not demand to take over, not say “I’ll just do it for you,” but I’ll ask if he would like a helping hand, either with decisions, the manual work of cleaning, or both.

It’s tough even for adults to declutter their stuff, so kids can’t be expected to do everything on their own. Let them take the lead, and be willing to help them navigate the complex feelings that come with simplifying as well as the actual physical work required.

7. The ability to listen without judging.

Sometimes kids don’t know what to do with their things, particularly if they have a lot of stuff and have never really processed what it feels like to voluntarily let go of things.

They may be overwhelmed. They may be sad. They may feel anxious. All those feelings are totally fine and expected, and kids need to know that it’s OK to feel whatever they’re feeling as they learn to manage their own possessions.

As a parent, it’s important to be able to sit with them and just listen to your kids without placing judgement on what they’re feeling or saying. They need that safe space with you to learn to process their big feelings. Material possessions are often tied to memories, and kids are often anxious about losing a memory if they let go of an item associated with it. 

8. The ability to explain options.

It’s easier to let things go when you have some choices on how to get rid of them. Part of decluttering is learning how to discard responsibly. Showing kids that they have options for how to let go of things can help them feel good (and even happy) with the decision of letting their stuff go.

Things that still have use left may be given to friends or family. Maybe there’s a charity in town, a homeless shelter, or a domestic violence home that can use your child’s discards. Maybe a church or hospital can use some outgrown toys for their nurseries.

Maybe a friend has a little brother or sister or maybe your child has a cousin that would enjoy those outgrown clothes. Maybe your child would like to try to sell a few things on a local buy/sell group, a yard sale, or eBay to earn some extra spending money.

Maybe they have some video games to trade at a game shop for something new-to-them. Maybe those beloved books can go to the city library or a school or preschool library.

Things that may no longer be useful may be able to be recycled instead of trashed bound for a landfill.

Giving your child options for how to get rid of their stuff may make things a little more complicated, but it can go a long way to making them feel good about their choice to simplify and to feel fulfilled knowing their discards can go to helping others feel cared for.      

9. The willingness to provide needed resources, including books, coaching, and supplies.

Sometimes things are needed to help the decluttering process along, whether it’s boxes and trash bags or a good how-to book.

Maybe it’s access to a blog with decluttering encouragement, or a few minutes on the phone with a trusted mentor. Maybe it’s a ride down to the local charity to drop off some hard-fought discards. It might even be a few new supplies to organize that beloved collection your child wants to keep tidy or a little paint to freshen up the closet they worked so hard to declutter.

Keeping an open mind and being willing to listen to what your child is asking for to help them get the job done helps build trust that you’re a partner in the process.

10. The practice of patience.

There’s no doubt about it—decluttering and learning to live a minimalist lifestyle requires patience and hard work. Rooms don’t become cluttered overnight, so it’s unrealistic to expect everything to be clean and clutter free in just a weekend.

Being patient with your child as he learns this new skill, while encouraging him to keep working at it, will help both of you feel good about the progress both of you are making.

***

Sandy Kreps helps families cut through the chaos of modern life and find a simpler path on her blog, Modern Simplicity. She has a free ebook, 101 Ways to Simplify Your Life. Or you can also follow her on Instagram.

Encouraging Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

Never underestimate the importance of removing stuff you don’t need.

Encouragement provides us with motivation to persevere. It invites us
to dream dreams of significance for our lives. And it begs us to work
diligently with optimism and promise.

Overcoming the pull of consumerism is a difficult challenge
regardless of our stage in life. Simplicity requires encouragement. To
that end, I hope you will find motivation in these articles below.

Each post was intentionally chosen to inspire simplicity in your life. For maximum effect, find a quiet moment this weekend and enjoy them with a fresh cup of coffee or tea.

Some Alternatives to the KonMari Decluttering Method | Treehugger by Katherine Martinko. Marie Kondo’s approach might be the most famous, but it’s not the only one. #clutterfreeapp

Morning Reflection: Use What You Have | This Wondrous Life by Danae Smith. As I look to take action on various dreams and goals this month, I’m reminded that I don’t need the newest, latest gadgets or a bigger home or fancier car. I don’t need the most picturesque setting.

Staying Focused with a Simple Method | Zen Habits by Leo Babuata. If you’re in a job where you could be doing a thousand things, staying focused for most of the day can become a big problem. We want to do too much.

The Unequal Future of Consumption | The New Republic by Frank Trentmann. This is a long read. But it explains well many of the shifts in consumerism taking place around the world due to the Covid lockdown.

How To Declutter Books | Joshua Becker on YouTube

How to Raise World Changing Children

This is a guest post from André and Jeff Shinabarger of Love or Work.

Society has forgotten about the art of raising world changers. 

Culture tells us we need to raise our children to be successful. Our children “need” to be on every sports team, “need” to have all the video games, “need” to speak multiple languages, and “need” to score top grades to go to the best college.

Well, we think it’s reasonable to say that society has it wrong.

There is more to raising a “successful” child. The word “success” now means more than school, sports, and the best things.

Our world doesn’t just need “successful” children, our world needs impact, it needs change. We want to raise kids that will change the world, not just win another baseball trophy to display on a bookshelf.

World changing kids give to others. 

Our American culture has an amazing way of influencing our kids (and ourselves) to always want more.

If we want our kids to help make the world better, we need to fight the “more is better” mentality with something different. And let me just say it is really hard when everyone around you is getting the new American Girl doll, gaming system, electric scooter, or latest phone.

How do we teach our kids the reality that we have been given much and to consider our responsibilities for others? Teaching generosity starts young and must be continuously reinforced.

If we only surround our kids with people who keep getting more, our kids will only want more. But when we have friends in our lives who live a different story and are content, our kids gain a broader perspective of what they have been given and how they can give toward others.

One idea: Every time your children invite friends over, encourage them to give a toy away to each friend as a departing gift. Foster the spirit of generosity early. 

World changing kids love all people. 

Kobe Bryant once said, “You can’t inspire millions of people around the world and not be able to inspire the people within your own home.”

As a dad, I want to raise kids that will find love, that will raise great kids, and will also do meaningful work with the abilities they have been given.

That mentality begins today in how we teach them what is important, how we show them to live, and how to love all people. Teaching our kids to love all people, especially those who are different than us, allows open mindedness and diversity of perspective into their lives. This love of diversity is essential to changing the world. 

One idea: Introduce your children to a community of people different from them. During this Covid time it may be hard, but you could join a community gathering respecting social distancing guidelines, you could research a different culture, or even watch a documentary about a people-group that is different from your own. 

World changing kids have courage. 

What they catch us doing they will also do.

If kids see us living out of fear, they too will live out of a scarcity mindset. If we make decisions out of fear or “what if’s,” then they will see that fear of the unknown leads my path, and they will be afraid of pursuing big scary dreams.

If they catch us living out of courage, they too will have a greater opportunity to believe they can follow their dreams.

This is where parents often have a hang up and get stuck in a “safety” mentality. “I am just trying to keep my kids safe,” they exclaim. We must shift our outlook past a fixed mindset of safety as the only priority in parenting.

When we introduce appropriate and reasonable amounts of trials and difficulties to our kids, it will cause them to begin problem solving. Teaching our kids what it means to be problem solvers will cause them to think bigger. It reminds them they are global citizens and they must have courage to change the world. 

One idea: Introduce problem-based learning. Focus on a social issue in society and invite your kids to brainstorm ways to solve this problem. If you are brave, take one more step, and DO that idea with your child. 

To raise kids that will change the world, we must introduce them to the world.

The world is vast and each culture and community has something unique and important to teach us. Each new experience we choose to introduce to our children expands their hearts and their capacity to love more, and accept others who are different, and treat all people with the dignity they deserve.

We are all different and yet we have so many elements of the human condition that are very much the same. As parents, we have the opportunity to show our kids that we learn from those who are different from us. 

One idea: Travel is hard during Covid, but take a road trip and explore the indigenous people groups and their lands in the United States. Learn about the people groups that inhabited the land before us. Explore and learn together.

Seeds planted in youth have created some of the greatest movements in history. If the next generation is raised as thoughtful citizens, our work, our love, our world will change.

Let’s commit to equip our kids to impact our future and push back against society’s view of success. The next generation could be world changers if we teach them how to give, how to love, and how to have courage. 

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André and Jeff Shinabarger are the authors of the new book, Love or Work: Is It Possible to Change the World, Stay in Love, and Raise a Family?

André works for Grady Memorial Hospital in Atlanta as a Physician Assistant and is an adjunct professor for Emory University. Jeff is the founder of Plywood People, a non-profit in Atlanta leading a community of startups doing good.

10 Inspirational Quotes That Forever Changed How I View Possessions

“Love people, use things. The opposite never works.” —The Minimalists

I discovered minimalism in my mid-30’s. At the time, my life was typical-suburban American: house in a neighborhood, stable job, one wife, two kids… everything but the dog and white picket fence.

I have discovered recently that the older people get, the harder it becomes for them to change their mind on things—especially worldview.

So it was no small feat that everything about my view of possessions and consumerism changed at such a late point in my life.

To figure out how that happened, I sat down this weekend to think of the most significant and most influential words and phrases that I heard about minimalism to change my mind.

Here they are:

10 Inspirational Quotes That Forever Changed How I View Possessions

1. “Maybe you don’t need to own so much stuff.” —My neighbor June

In one short sentence, on a Saturday afternoon, I was introduced to minimalism and a new way of life.

After a long day of cleaning out my garage while my 5-year old son played alone in the backyard, my neighbor shared these words with me. I had been commenting on how much time and effort had gone into my cleaning project when she responded with just those few words.

It was a magical moment as I stood face-to-face with the reality of my unneeded possessions. How they were not making me happy. And even worse, how they were distracting me from the very things that did.

Maybe I didn’t need to own them in the first place. It was a powerful truth that opened my mind and heart to everything else on this list.

2. “Every increased possession adds increased anxiety on to our lives.” —Randy Alcorn

Possessions add stress—they need to be cleaned, organized, and cared for. Everything we own becomes our responsibility to deal with and take care of.

Possessions are not passive, they are not just acquired and forgotten while they care for themselves. They require our attention. Everything we own takes up physical space in our home and mental space in our mind.

It was this quote, from Randy Alcorn, that first opened my eyes to that reality.

3. “I could probably go on for awhile about this, but let me just list a few key benefits.” —Leo Babauta

One of the first articles that I read about how to create a minimalist home was written by Leo Babauta. You can find it right here: A Guide to Creating a Minimalist Home.

Before offering a number of steps to take in creating a minimalist home, he begins by listing out the benefits of a minimalist environment.

It was that section of the blog post, even before the practical steps, that spoke the most to me. When he encouraged me to notice the possibility of how minimalism would improve my life, I became keenly aware of noticing as many benefits as I could.

The life-giving benefits of minimalism became a recurring theme in my life and on this blog as evidenced here: 21 Life-Giving Benefits of Owning Less.

I own less because it is a better way to live.

4. “Minimalism is the intentional promotion of the things we most value and the removal of anything that distracts us from it.” —Joshua Becker

I hope I don’t cross a weird line by including my own words on this list.

I began writing about our minimalist journey the same weekend we started the process. And, as many writers would attest, writing has a habit of introducing new thoughts into my mind. As a result, some of the most influential thoughts (quotes) in my journey came when I forced myself to sit down and write out what I was thinking.

I was trying to explain in a blog post one time how minimalism was about more than getting rid of stuff. How it was actually about aligning my life’s resources with my greatest values.

In trying to explain that process, I defined minimalism as the intentional promotion of the things we most value and the removal of anything that distracts us from it.

The sentence, once I wrote it, further cemented the journey in my mind of why it was so important and significant to own less.

5. “You say, ‘If I had a little more, I should be very satisfied.’ You make a mistake. If you are not content with what you have, you would not be satisfied if it were doubled.” —Charles Spurgeon

This sentence, from Charles Spurgeon, was a lightbulb for me. It surfaced in my mind an important reality about contentment and happiness.

If I wasn’t content with what I currently had, what made me think I would be content with more?

Equally important, if I was not happy today, what made me think I’d be happier with more? And if I wasn’t grateful for what I had already, why would I be grateful with more?

This quote explained to me the foolishness of always needing more to be happy.

Find happiness where you are today. Find contentment, gratitude, and joy exactly where you are. You certainly don’t need more stuff to arrive there.

6. “Sell your possessions and give to the poor.” —Jesus Christ

I don’t dive deep into my personal faith on this blog—that’s not the point of it. If you want to read a deeper conversation about how my faith has impacted my journey into minimalism, you can find that in The More of Less.

But this quote from Jesus tied a lot of things together for me. Not just how minimalism interacts with faith, but how minimalism interacts with generosity. The less we own, the more we can help others.

7. “If organizing your stuff worked, don’t you think you’d be done by now?” —Courtney Carver

Courtney, in one sentence, articulated everything wrong with “better organization” as the solution for our stuff problem in America and around the world.

So many people think that they’ll be fine with all their stuff if they just find a better organizational system. I was the same way.

But “organizing” never ends—it never solves the problem. We can organize all our stuff today only to have to organize it again tomorrow.

Organizing is always, only a temporary solution. Minimalism, on the other hand, is a permanent solution to our stuff problem. Courtney helped me see that and further reinforced my passion to own less.

8. “You can always minimize just a little each day, but do you really want to be decluttering forever?” — Zoë Kim

Three times every year, I take people through a 12-week course to own less and live more. If you already own less, there’s no need to take the course. But if you’re struggling to get there, it’s been helpful for many.

One aspect of the course that people find helpful is that I allow them to retake it as many times as they want—sometimes life gets in the way and I want everyone to succeed.

This means, of course, that people can work through the weekly challenges on their own timetable—which is totally fine. But I do try to encourage people (including myself) to keep making progress and keep moving. It was Zoë’s quote that gave me the right words to explain the importance of working hard and continuing forward.

On your minimizing journey (especially if you are just getting started) remember: You can always minimize just a little each day, but do you really want to be decluttering forever?

Instead, stay focused and work hard. The sooner you own less, the sooner you can begin the rest of your life free from the burden of unneeded possessions.

9. “Wanting less is a better blessing than having more.” —Mary Ellen Edmunds

Mary Ellen’s words caused me to see the pursuit of possessions in a new way. As I began to notice, it is one thing to own less, it is something completely different to want less.

There are many who want to declutter and organize their stuff—but if the desire to acquire more is not overcome, their houses quickly fill up with stuff again.

It is only when we overcome the desire for consumerism and genuinely desire to own less, that the greatest benefits of minimalism are experienced.

Once we own less and want less, we are able to redirect our money, time, energy—even our entire lives—toward things that matter most. This is the true life that minimalism provides the opportunity to be lived.

Mary Ellen Edmunds, in these words above, sparked that thought and forever changed my view of possessions and consumerism.

10. “Your life is too valuable to waste chasing material possessions.” —Joshua Becker

This has become the one phrase I use to end all of my presentations about minimalism. And I wrote it in preparation for my very first talk (Omaha, NE)—almost 10 years ago. I haven’t improved on it the entire time.

This quote is the perfect summary of why minimalism is the best course of life for all. Our lives are simply too valuable to waste chasing and accumulating material possessions.

We were designed for greater pursuits. Somewhere along the way, the world came along and hijacked that passion and directed it toward physical possessions.

But you are too important to waste your life’s energy chasing bigger houses and nicer cars and new fashions. Pursue those things that matter most: love and relationship and impact.

Those are the only pursuits worthy of your one life. Don’t waste it on anything else—especially not physical objects.

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Those are the 10 most inspirational quotes that changed how I view possessions.

I’m interested in yours.

What inspiring quote (or quotes) forever changed your view of material possessions?