Joshua Becker's Blog, page 144

The Heart Impact of Choosing Less

"Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold, happiness dwells in the soul." – Democritus

Four years ago, we decided to begin living with fewer possessions.

The decision was based entirely on outward emotions. I was tired of the never-ending cleaning and organizing that my possessions required. I was tired of living paycheck-to-paycheck. And I was getting frustrated that I couldn't find enough time and energy to be with my family and the people that mattered most. Somehow, I had been unable to notice that my desire to own possessions was the cause of this discontent in my life. Luckily, my neighbor pointed it out with a simple statement, "Maybe you don't need to own all this stuff."

My life forever changed. Owning less has allowed me to spend less time and money chasing (and caring for) possessions. It has provided me far more opportunity to redirect my time, energy, and money towards the things that I most value. Ultimately, it brought great resolution to the emotions listed above.

But it has also provided me with even greater opportunity to change than I had ever imagined. The outward change of behavior has brought along with it the opportunity for inward change as well. It has allowed my very heart to change and adopt values that I have always admired in others.

For example, consider how the intentional decision to live with fewer possessions allows our hearts to embrace the following desirable qualities…

1) Contentment: being mentally or emotionally satisfied with things as they are. So much of the discontent in our lives revolves around physical possessions and comparing our things to others. An intentional decision to live with less allows that discontent to slowly fade away.

2) Generosity: willingness and liberality in giving away one's money, time, etc. When the selfish, hoarder-based mentality is removed from our thinking, we are free to use our resources for other purposes. We are allowed (and have more opportunity) to redirect our energy, time, and money elsewhere.

3) Gratitude: a feeling of thankfulness or appreciation. One of the most important steps that we can take towards experiencing gratitude is to think less about the things we don't possess and more time focusing on the things we already do. Intentionally living with less (minimalism) provides that opportunity.

4) Self-Control: the ability to exercise restraint or control over one's feelings, emotions, reactions, etc. Many people go through life having no clear sense of their true values. Instead, their desires are molded by the culture and the advertisements that bombard upon them each day. As a result, they find no consistency in life. No self-control. The decision to live your own life apart from an ever-shifting culture provides opportunity for self-control to emerge.

5) Honesty: honorable in principles, intentions, and actions; upright and fair. Many – not all, but many – of the lies and mistruths that are told in our society are based in a desire to get ahead and possess more. Finding contentment with your lot in life eliminates the need to be dishonest for financial gain.

6) Appreciation: the act of estimating the qualities of things and giving them their proper value. As the desires of our life stop focusing on others and what they have that we don't, we are more able to appreciate their accomplishment, their success, and the beauty that they bring to the world. We are able to fully appreciate others without being jealous of them (or worse, hoping for their downfall).

Now, please don't misread me. I am not contending that minimalists are necessarily more content, generous, grateful, or honest than others. I know many incredibly generous people who would not describe themselves as minimalist. I'm sure there are some self-defined minimalists who would chart obnoxiously high on the selfishness meter. And I would never self-confess to have arrived fully in any of the categories listed above.

But I do believe with all my heart that the intentional rejection of possessions does allow greater opportunity for these positive heart habits to emerge. What you do with that opportunity is up to you.

On the Importance of Knowing What You Want to Accomplish

"First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do." - Epictetus

My friend Rachel had a lofty goal in mind. I knew her in high school and her goal was to receive a diving scholarship from the University of Nebraska. All through her high school years, this desire motivated her in significant ways.

It inspired her to wake up early in the morning and hit the gym. It inspired her everyday after school as she hit the pool over and over again. It affected her eating habits, choosing to eat healthy salads and water rather than cheeseburgers and soda (like the rest of us). She would often go to bed early so that she could rise early in the morning to get started the next day. She would lie in bed rehearsing dives in her mind and she would wake up thinking about them. In a very real way, her goal of making the college diving team affected nearly every aspect of her life.

That was, until the spring semester of her senior year. You see, after the conclusion of the Nebraska high school diving season and the State competition, she was unfortunately notified that she would not be receiving the diving scholarship she desperately desired. She had poured her heart and her soul into realizing that goal, but it had vanished. Needless to say, Rachel was heart-broken.

And her life changed dramatically overnight! Once she came to grasp that it was not meant to be, her life changed radically. Suddenly, she began spending more time with her friends – not only after school, but also staying out later and later. She started ordering cheeseburgers and soda instead of salads and water (which made us feel better about ourselves, by the way). She began sleeping in on weekends instead of hitting the gym at 6 in the morning. It was almost as if she had a completely different life before and after the birth and death of her goal.

The truth is that goals move us and goals shape us. What we most desire to accomplish (or become) affects our lives in very important ways. It impacts what we think about. And it changes the way we spend our time, our money, and our energy. In short, it brings definition to the lives that we live.

What then, with the one life that you have to live, do you most desire to accomplish?

It is my contention that few people desire riches and possessions above everything else. In fact, when asked the question above, rare is the man or woman who responds by saying, "I just want to own as much stuff as possible."

Instead, most heart responses will center on significance, relationships, impact, happiness, love, or faith. And the more often we intentionally remind ourselves of our heart's deepest desires, the more often our lives will align with that pursuit… and the more likely we are to actually accomplish them.

7 Places to Find Daily Inspiration for Minimalism

Minimalism – the intentional promotion of the things we most value and the removal of everything that distracts us from it – requires a conscience choice. It is a counter-cultural lifestyle that begins with the decision to pursue it. For me, that occurred over a Memorial Day weekend while cleaning my garage. The juxtaposition of my possessions piled in my driveway with my son playing baseball in the backyard caused me to finally realize my belongings weren't adding joy to my life… they were detracting from it. At that moment, we intentionally decided to live with less.

But this world that we live in is not friendly to the pursuit of minimalism. Its cultural tendencies and never-relenting advertising campaigns constantly call us to acquire more, better, faster, newer, and trendier.  The journey towards minimalism becomes a road that requires daily inspiration – a consistent re-centering of focus on the things that are the most important.

To that end, here is a list of 7 places to find daily inspiration in your pursuit of minimalism:

1. Simplify Your Life: A Tumblr blog that provides quotes, images, and links on a daily basis inspiring readers to simplify life.

2. Simple Links: Links and images collected by Leo Babauta posted on an almost daily basis.

3. Becoming Minimalist Facebook Page: Our Facebook page provides links to our newest articles and inspiring quotes every single day.

4. Twitter (Joshua Millburn, Courtney Carver, , Joshua Becker): Four minimalist tweeters that offer minimalist inspiration as it strikes throughout the day.

5. Zen Habits Archives: There's a reason Zen Habits is considered to be among the most thought-provoking, life-changing blogs on the Internet. And with 5 years of archives to choose from, you'll find plenty of inspiration every single day.

6. Unclutterer: Unclutterer is a blog that I read often when we first became minimalist. Their team of writers publish daily and generally stay focused on removing clutter from our lives. Interestingly enough, I eventually found the blog design to be a bit too cluttered for my preference… but I did find it helpful to my journey during the initial phase of decluttering our home and life.

7. Take a look outside: If we pause for a moment, stop the hustle and bustle of our lives just long enough to see, we can observe in nature amazing ways that it lives the ultimate minimalist existence.

'Cause You Can Get Better at Anything You Want

"Every man has in himself a continent of undiscovered ability. Happy is he who acts as the Columbus to his own soul." - Sir J. Stephen

There is great life to be found in the realization that you can get better at anything you want.

Three years ago, I wanted to improve my writing… I started a blog. This past fall, one of my good friends wanted to learn how to shoot photography… she began asking questions of her photographer. This past Christmas, my sister wanted to learn how to sew… she sat down and received a starting tutorial from my wife. This past week, my 9-year old son said he wanted to learn how to cook… I showed him how to make a pizza.

Each of these examples had three things in common: 1) They wanted to learn something new. 2) They took an intentional step in their life to learn it. 3) And they discovered a new skill because of it.

Our lives are made up of desires – things we wish to accomplish. We desire to become better parents, better spouses, better painters, better speakers, better cooks, or better graphic designers. We wish we were better at reading, writing, cleaning, organizing, leading, counseling, golfing, swimming, interviewing, entertaining, or fixing automobiles. There are countless good things that we can add to our lives… and breathe new life because of it.

It can be helpful to be reminded that learning any new skill is a simple three-step process that holds true every single time.

1. We make a conscience decision to pursue it. This involves moving an idea from the back of our mind to the front. It includes a thoughtful, decision-making process (i.e., Is this new skill worth the effort? Will it improve my life?). It requires confidence, motivation, and intentionality. And it requires a breakthrough moment where we sit down and decide, "Yes, I'm finally going to do this!"

2. We remove competing distractions. Our lives are full. Learning a new skill should be fun, but it will always require time. And the more we wish to improve (or based on the complexity of the new skill), the more time and mental energy is going to be required. As a result, we must purposefully remove competing distractions. We seek to remove the correct distractions (television, video games, mindless Internet browsing, staying up too late, sleeping in too long, etc.) and leave the important ones untouched in our lives (work, our kids, our spouses, community service, etc.). And we carefully select the right seasons in life to add them.

3. We plan our next step and take it. If you are reading this blog post today, there are countless resources available to you online in almost every imaginable field. If you are in a community, there are likely numerous educational opportunities available to you through your local Parks and Rec. department. If you have friends, they have countless hours of training/experience in some very desired skills. And your local library likely holds at least one book relevant to any skill you'd like to learn. There is virtually no limit to the number of "next steps" available to us… we just need to select one.

So what new skill would you like to pursue in your life? And what is the next step you need to take to discover it?

Let me encourage you today to develop it. 'Cause you can get better at anything you want.

12 Reasons I Have Decided to Read One Book Per Week

"To read is to fly." - A. C. Grayling

While New Year's resolutions have never played an important role in my life (I can't remember the last time I made one), I do think resolutions are essential. Life is defined by the decisions we make and I've come to view life as a series of adjustments. As we increase in age and wisdom, we begin to recognize opportunities in our life to grow and improve. And any decision to embrace that opportunity could best be labeled as a resolution (I've just never understood why we'd wait until January 1st to make the change).

On a related note, I like reading. Each time I read a new book, I am stretched as a person. I am forced to embrace a new thought and evaluate my life against it. I am taken to new places and enjoy conversations with new people. I am inspired, entertained, and invested into. I become a better person because of it… I just wish I did more of it.

That's why I've taken this occasion of a new year to purposely resolve to read more books. For most of my life, I've averaged reading about one book per month. But for the next 52 weeks, I have resolved to read 52. After giving it some thought over the past few weeks, I have made the decision to read one book per week in2012 for a number of reasons:

1. It'll make me a better writer. As one who enjoys spreading thoughts and inspiring others through the written word, writing is important to me. And reading always increases our capacity to write.

2. It'll make me a better leader. Life requires relationship. Each of us interact with others on a daily basis. And our lives are either giving life to others or draining it from them. I want my life to give life to others and inspire them to live better. There is a growing passion in my heart to continue taking this message of "finding more life by owning less" to more and more people. I'm not entirely sure what that looks like down the road, but there's a 100% chance leadership qualities will be required.

3. It'll increase my worldview. Reading opens our heart to new ideas, new cultures, and new worldviews. Good art always does.

4. It'll increase my breadth of knowledge. There is a world of inspiration to be discovered in books. There is also a world of knowledge to be found in books. I live my life trying to see the good in people believing that we can learn something from everybody… and since some have had the opportunity to write it down for us, it would make sense to take full advantage of their efforts.

5. It'll increase my reading speed. Just like any skill in life, we improve with practice. While not a slow reader, I have never considered myself particularly fast either. No doubt, reading 52 books in 52 weeks will be a stretch for me. It will require my attention and practice and will likely increase my skill and pace in reading – at times, by necessity.

6. It'll be a good example for my kids. My kids are young (elementary school) and still learning to read. I want them to embrace the practice with joy. I want them to become lifelong readers. And I want them to recognize their father as one who does the same.

7. It'll increase my ability to dream big. While I have enjoyed reading all genres of books, I have always found special joy in biographies. Reading the stories of those who sacrificed much, inspires me to do the same. Reading the stories of those who loved unselfishly, inspires me to do the same. And reading the stories of those who accomplished much, inspires me to dream big and do the same.

8. It'll stretch my self-discipline. No doubt, at times, this resolution will require discipline. The best ones always do.

9. It'll stretch my creativity. New thoughts always stretch our minds to rediscover life in new ways. We begin to see the world differently. And we find new creative solutions because of it.

10. Books lead to greater relationships with the people around us. Books provide great opportunity to improve our existing relationships. Not only do they provide new conversation starters, they offer a new depth to our conversations as well. They encourage us to further pursue their claims within the world and people around us. As a result, they give us opportunity to not just grow in ourselves… but grow in our relationships with others as well.

11. It'll help me better discern good ideas from bad ideas. One thing's for sure, there are a lot of different approaches to life and the problems we face. Reading books provides opportunity to better discern what has worked in the past and what has not.

12. There are so many great books left to be read. There are books written to provide wisdom, inspiration, knowledge, and laughter. There is a wealth of life hidden inside of them… all we need to do is take the time to pick them up and read.

Thus far, I am on pace. I have recently completed Every Body Matters and Seven Days in Utopia. I am currently rereading Death by Suburb. And I have another book lined up to read after that. I hesitated a bit writing this post… but I desire the accountability. Putting resolutions out in a public forum encourages our discipline and resolve. It further calls us to pursue our goals as others have the opportunity to track our progress. And that encouragement will be valuable to me throughout.

Lastly, I wanted to encourage you. No doubt, if you read blogs, you are likely a reader already. But if not, there's no better time to start than today. And while 52 books is a challenge that I believe fits into my life at this exact moment in time, you may find greater encouragement in reading 26 or 12. But either way, I'd love to have you join me in some way.

I'd also welcome any book recommendation in the comment section below.

***

On an unrelated note, I'm excited to offer PDF versions of my books, Simplify and Inside-Out Simplicity, as part of The Empowerment Pack: Life-Changing Products from the World's Top Bloggers. The three-day bundle sale includes over 30 books, courses, and products from top bloggers. I enjoy receiving these invitations and actively participate in these sales because I believe it helps push the message of minimalism and simplicity into new venues. Hopefully, this one will do the same. 

12 "Other" Life Resolutions/Habits to Consider

"Change brings opportunity." - Nido Qubein

The beginning of a new year sparks a natural inclination to re-evaluate our lives and look ahead to the future. It causes us to look back at the decisions that shaped our lives during the past year and gives us opportunity to make adjustments for the next one… or as we call them, resolutions. Some needed adjustments to our life habits are painfully obvious: we need to get in shape, we need to stop smoking, or we need to get our finances in order. Those life changes are typically easy to notice and are often promoted in our society.

But there are other, equally valuable life improvements available to us that fly a bit out of the mainstream. For various reasons, you don't hear much about them. But in many cases, they are just as valuable. In fact, sometimes, they even help us address the underlying assumptions in our lives that are leading us to the poor decisions in the first place.

To that end, consider these 12 "Other" Life Resolutions/Habits as possible life habits to incorporate.

1. Intentionally laugh everyday. Laughter releases stress, lowers blood pressure, and exercises muscles. More importantly, it changes our outlook on life and brings us joy and hope. It ought to be practiced everyday. Put it on your To-Do List. And give yourself permission to laugh each day… especially during the hopeless days.

2. Practice solitude. Find time alone in quiet on a regular basis. No books, no music, no outside voices. Just you alone with yourself. Your life will never, ever be the same.

3. Make gratitude a discipline. Thank someone or something each day, every day. Gratitude refocuses our attention away from what we don't have and redirects it towards what we do. As a result, it naturally causes contentment and generosity to spring up in our lives.

4. Stop speeding. You may need to plan in advance or choose to leave a bit earlier. After all, you will be spending more time en route. But slowing down intentionally allows extra opportunity to be with yourself, be present, and enjoy the journey. Life is not a race. Life is not meant to be lived hurriedly rushing from one event to another. It is meant to be enjoyed and savored. And driving slower will remind you of that fact every time.

5. Fast one day each month. There is a reason nearly every religious tradition incorporates the use of fasting (the practice of not eating food for a specific length of time – usually 24 hours or sunrise to sunset). It teaches us self-control, self-denial, and sacrifice. It trains our mind to weather storms and temptation. And it heightens our senses. As a side note: the purpose for practicing fasting may be for spiritual purposes, but it doesn't have to be… your mind, body, and soul will benefit regardless.

6. Adopt a "Do it Now" mentality. The opposite of procrastination is to simply "do it now" instead. And seeing as how procrastination results in an unnecessary amount of stress in our lives, "doing it now" is an appropriate life habit for many of us to resolve. Make that a new mindset for your life in 2012. Repeat the mantra often. And then, just do it now – whatever "it" may be.

7. Eat more vegetables. Eating more vegetables is a better, simpler, and often times more measurable approach to your weight loss goal than simply deciding to eat less. Eating vegetables at each meal (or as snacks in-between them) naturally reduces the amount of unhealthy food that we put into our bodies. Additionally, it gives us more energy, more self-esteem, and more opportunity to fight off illness and disease.

8. Read classical books from different centuries. Books that have lasted centuries tend to do so for a very good reason: they contain wisdom. They speak to timeless human truths that bind us together. Though our culture and world look entirely different today than they did 200 years ago, the human spirit is still the same. Life still includes sorrow, joy, hope, and trial. And we would benefit greatly from rediscovering how men and women approached life hundreds of years ago.

9. Remove pornography. Pornography limits our capacity to appreciate the real world and the people within it. It clouds our mind with unrealistic and unhealthy assumptions about sexuality and our relationships with others. Because of that, it never fully satisfies its consumer, but always leaves them desiring more. Sacrifice the temporal pleasure of pornography for a life that can better appreciate the simply joys of the people and relationships around you right now.

10. Go to bed earlier. Changing just the first hour of your day changes the remaining 23. And the best way to change the first hour of your day is to get a good night's sleep. So make a practice this year to move your bedtime up. You may just be surprised at how that small change will naturally benefit other areas of your life.

11. Give to a charity. Pick a cause that you believe in strongly: poverty, education, animals, research, or the environment (just to name a few). And then, write a check. You'll be glad you did. They'll be glad you did. The cause they serve will be glad you did. And if you can spread that much joy by filling out a check, just imagine the joy you'll spread if you volunteer your time and talents.

12. Date your spouse. Take your spouse/partner on a date at least once per month in 2012. You'll have fun. You'll reconnect. Your union will be stronger because of it. And if you think it'll cost a bunch of money, you're just not being creative enough.

Make no mistake. While I have intentionally tried to develop each of these habits in my life at some point in the past, I don't intentionally practice each of them today (some still come more naturally than others). And my desire is not that these resolutions would be considered a 12-step secret to solving life.

Instead, my desire is that we would simply consider implementing one of them today… and find a better life in 2012 because of it.

Don't Just Declutter, De-own.

"Owning less is far more beneficial than organizing more." – Twitter / Facebook

'Tis the season for New Year's resolutions. No doubt, over the coming weeks, many will set their mind to get in shape, lose some weight, or get out of debt.

Others will make a commitment to organize their home or declutter their stuff. After all, we are a culture that is drowning in our possessions. We take in more and more (especially during the holiday season), but rarely find opportunity to discard of it. As a result, our homes house more and more stuff. And because we believe the best solution is to find organizational tools to manage all of it, we seek out bigger containers or more efficient organizational tips and tricks.

But simply organizing our stuff (without removing it) is always only a temporary solution. By definition, organizing possessions is an action that must be repeated over and over and over again. At its heart, organizing is simply rearranging. And though we may find storage solutions today, we are quickly forced to find new ones as early as tomorrow.

Additionally, organizing our stuff (without removing it) has some other major shortcomings that are rarely considered:

It doesn't benefit anyone else. The possessions that we rarely use sit on shelves in our basements, attics, and garages… even while some of our closest friends desperately need them.
It doesn't solve our debt problems. It never addresses the underlying issue that we just buy too much stuff. In fact, many times, the act of rearranging our stuff even costs us more as we purchase containers, storage units, or larger homes to house it.
It doesn't turn back our desire for more. The simple act of organizing our things into boxes, plastic bins, or extra closets doesn't turn back our desire to purchase more things.  The culture-driven inclination to find happiness in our possessions is rarely thwarted in any way through the process.
It doesn't force us to evaluate our lives. While rearranging our stuff may cause us to look at each of our possessions, it does not force us to evaluate them… especially if we are just putting them in boxes and closing the lids. On the other hand, removing possessions from our home forces questions of passion, values, and what's truly most important to us.
It accomplishes little in paving the way for other changes. Organizing may provide a temporary lift to our attitude. It clears a room and subsequently clears our mind, but rarely paves the way for healthy, major lifestyle changes. Our house is too small, our income is too little, and we still can't find enough time in the day. We may have rearranged our stuff… but not our lives.

On the other hand, the act of removing possessions from our home accomplishes many of those purposes. It is not a temporary solution that must be repeated. It is an action of permanence – once an item has been removed, it is removed completely. Whether we re-sell our possessions, donate them to charity, or give them to a friend, they are immediately put to use by those who need them. Removing possessions begins to turn back our desire for more as we find freedom, happiness, and abundance in owning less. And removing ourselves from the all-consuming desire to own more creates opportunity for significant life change to take place.

As you seek to get your home (and life) organized in the new year, challenge yourself to remove the unneeded things in your home. Rid yourself of the extra weight in a permanent manner. Carry a trash bag from room-to-room. See how big of a donation pile you can make. Or help eliminate debt by selling them. It doesn't matter so much how you remove them, as long as you do.

For it is far better to de-own, then declutter.

Becoming Minimalist's Top Posts of 2011

A special thanks to each of you for making 2011 another incredibly phenomenal year at Becoming Minimalist. It continues to grow well beyond my craziest expectations. During 2011…

Subscriber count grew from 7,500 to 12,000 readers (after less than 500 readers in 2010).
Twitter followers increased from less than 2,000 to 4,400 (after 0 followers in 2010).
Facebook fans grew from 1,000 to 4,000 (after 0 fans in 2010).
Our book Simplify became the #1 Self-Help book on Amazon for 12 days selling 12,000 copies in the past 6 weeks.

2011 has also been a year of major life-change for us personally as we moved our family from Vermont to Arizona. It is our hope that this move will further accommodate an increased writing/speaking schedule in the future as I continue to dream about more opportunities to inspire others to live more by owning less. We have found such freedom and joy in the pursuit of less… and hope that the minimalist movement continues to grow in 2012.

Taking a look back, here were the Most Popular Posts of 2011 on Becoming Minimalist as determined by readers:

The Danger of Neglecting Time Alone. For the first time in human history, the possibility for relationship with others exists around us at every moment of every day. Left unchecked, this constant stream of relationships can have some damaging effects on our lives

Reasons to Escape Excessive Consumerism. It is time to take a step back and realize that excessive consumption is not delivering on its promise to provide happiness and fulfillment. Consumption is necessary, but excessive consumption is not.

18 Good Reasons to Get the Television Out of the Bedroom. One of the best decisions that we made during our journey towards living with less.

New Ways to Judge Others. For too long our world has made judgments about others on faulty criteria. Let's start looking for the right things.

40 Ways to Give More Life. Every interaction that we have with another human being offers us the opportunity to give life or drain it… let's be sure to give the gift that holds the most potential for improving the lives and world around us.

Life Habits to Improve Your Writing. A look back at some of the intentional habits I have become more thoughtful about developing in my life that I believe have most benefited my writing.

Here were a few of my personal favorite posts over the past year:

Stop Comparing Your Life. Start Living It. There is such amazing freedom in the realization that we don't need to compare our lives to others.

Tying Our Hearts to the Right Things. The realization that my heart appears naturally drawn to the places where I have invested most changes everything.

Minimalism Quotes… Through the Centuries. I love the fact that minimalism is not a new way to live life. In fact, some of the greatest minds over the past 3,000 years have encouraged it.

Addressing Minimalism's Misconceptions. Anyone who has ever encouraged others to intentionally live with less has heard one/some of these misconceptions. It's important to know how to address them.

Lucilla's Story (And Our Own). One of those life-changing moments that you never forget.

And here were the most-read guest posts of the past year:

7 Ways to Prepare for a New Baby Without Shopping. Because the best way to prepare for a new baby is not with an afternoon of shopping or obsessing over paint samples for the nursery.

The Domino Effect of Simple Living. As you begin to ask yourself why something is important to you, you'll become more aware of why you make certain choices.

You are More Than Enough. It is easier to love more deeply when you realize you have enough… and that you are enough.

Whether you have been reading Becoming Minimalist for one week, one month, or one year, welcome and thank you. As this blog goes forward into 2012, it will certainly continue to evolve and be redefined. But, it will always stay true to its core message that there is more joy to be found in owning less than can be found in pursuing more – because we are just as excited about that truth as when we first started!

On Celebrating the Little Steps

"Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever." – Keri Russell

Every significant, major change that we have made in our lives has been the result of a long series of small changes.

Quitting smoking started by not lighting up that next cigarette.
Losing weight began by turning down one more spoonful.
Decluttering your home started by removing one unnecessary item from your home.
Getting out of debt started by pursuing one less thing to purchase.
Starting a business began with one small decision or idea.
Saving your marriage started with the realization that it was worth saving.
Parenting your children began the day you chose to love them more than yourself.

Our lives are not measured by the leaps and bounds as much as they are measured by the little steps and decisions that we make each day.

But in this world of fast food, instant downloads, get-rich-quick schemes, Twitter streams, and never-ending media hype, those standing at the finish line often receive the praise… while those on their journey are often overlooked. Or even worse yet, those on the journey long for the finish line at the expense of the little steps that must be taken to get there. The prize at the finish line dangles precariously… and the number of steps between here and there is rarely counted accurately.

We must adjust our thinking. It is entirely appropriate to praise those who have successfully completed positive life change, but we must also celebrate those still on their journey. Each step forward is worthy of celebration. And when we see it in our lives or in the lives of others, we must call it what it is – a victory worthy of celebration.

The father who comes home and picks up his child rather than the remote control deserves celebration.
The alcoholic who chooses to attend one more AA meeting deserves celebration.
The husband drowning in debt who packs a lunch for work deserves celebration.
The consumer-driven wife who chooses to not buy that extra pair of shoes deserves celebration.
The thief who earns his first honest dollar deserves celebration.
The woman struggling with her weight that chooses to take the stairs deserves our celebration.
The anorexic who eats a full meal deserves our celebration.
The wealthy man who writes his first check to charity (no matter the amount) deserves our celebration.
The sexaholic who admits that lust has become an addiction and needs help deserves celebration.
The hoarder who cleans one drawer deserves celebration.
The family on brink of divorce that unselfishly sits down at the kitchen table to finally talk it over deserves celebration.

We are a people in need of grace. We are a people in need of patience. And we are a people in need of encouragement. Let's be quick to celebrate the little steps in both our lives and the lives of those around us. Because life is only fully-lived in the little moments and the big.

Book Review: Tiny Buddha, Simple Wisdom for Life's Hard Questions

"True freedom is the freedom from your own self-imposed limitations. It's the ability to accept situations as they are, in all their abundance and all their lack…" – Lori Deschene

Personal. Practical. Positive. Inspiring. And far more compelling than I ever expected.

A few weeks back, I was thrilled to have an opportunity to preview Lori Deschene's new book, Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life's Hard Questions. Lori is well-known for her on-line accomplishments. Her Twitter feed (which Lori started as an outlet to publish daily, inspirational quotes) currently has 240,000 followers. Her website (tinybuddha.com) receives 1.5 million page views each month while tackling some of life's deepest questions. Her Facebook Group counts over 70,000 fans. And, just one week ago, she released her new book with the same name as her website, Tiny Buddha, published by Conari Press. But more importantly – as she would say –  her writings provide needed inspiration to countless readers around the world.

Given the backstory and everything that I know to be true about Lori, when she sent me an advanced copy of her book for review, I graciously jumped at the chance to read it.

Tiny Buddha is a unique book written in a unique fashion. While it is centered around many of life's deepest questions and the universal themes that unite us (letting go of pain, finding meaning in life, choosing happiness, creating positive change, maintaining healthy relationships, living life to the fullest, and accepting uncertainty, etc), it is a far cry from the typical, lengthy, philosophical arguments that one might expect given such subject matter.

In fact, much of it was written through conversations that took place on Twitter. Actually, each of the 9 chapters were based upon the answers given to a single question asked on Twitter to her 240,000 followers (for example: "What is the meaning of life?" or "Why is there suffering in the world?"). The Twitter responses were then carefully categorized and summarized into common themes. What emerged is a book that not only seeks to provide answers for individuals seeking them… but also a stunning look at how humanity as a whole views each of these common themes.

And it exceeded my expectation in every respect.

I found the book to be particularly inspiring and optimistic. In each chapter of the book, Lori offers positive reinforcement that our lives can be bettered and lived in meaningful ways. For example, speaking of change she writes, "Can people change? Absolutely! It's the one thing that everyone and everything does. We just have to choose – in one moment, and then in the next." And encouraging her reader on the topic of living life to the fullest, Lori writes, "You get to choose the things you do each day… every day, you can decide to do something to feel meaningful, empowered, happy, and connected." Each chapter is filled with similar sentiment.


I found the book to be intimately personal. To be honest, a book based on Twitter feeds excited me little… studying humanity through the eyes of Twitter feeds did little to excite my passion. But I was pleasantly surprised to find the book to be far more intimate and personal than expected. Throughout the philosophical answers to life's toughest questions, emerged a story of one woman's personal journey through each of them. Lori appears to hold nothing back as she recounts her own personal, vivid experiences of finding meaning, companionship, happiness, and life. Her stories are both compelling and entirely relevant.


I found the book to be incredibly well-researched. If I had any fear greater that the impersonal nature of a Twitter feed, it was my fear of reading crowd-sourced wisdom. I mean, I've got no hesitation in asking my Twitter followers for restaurant recommendations in #Nashville, but asking them to help me define the meaning of life? How would I know who to trust? Luckily, Lori doesn't offer wisdom without looking outside herself. In fact, for every answer she offers, she provides additional research on the topic. Whether she is quoting philosophers, psychologists, or researchers studying the affect of free will on our behavior, she rarely attempts to answer life's questions on her own. And for that, I hold her in much higher esteem than if she had claimed expert status on her own.


I found the book to be highly practical. Whether offering 4 steps to choose being happy over being right, keys to minimizing work- and stuff-related stress, or ideas to practice learned optimism, Lori offers specific advice at the conclusion of each section in her book. Again, above and beyond all expectations, the steps are applicable, measurable, and well-researched.


I found the book to be less religious than anticipated. Coming from a faith tradition other than Buddhism, I was immediately put at ease in the introduction when Lori admitted, "You'll notice I didn't ask questions directly relating to religion." The book is not framed primarily by Buddhist thought, instead it is primarily framed on the understanding, "that we all deal with universal problems and questions… and how we answer them dictates the choices we make and what kind of person we'll be from moment to moment." And regardless of your spiritual tendencies, you'll certainly agree with that truth.


I found the book to be highly engaging. Lori's mix of personal story-telling, calculated research, practical application, and willingness to tackle life's deepest questions proves to be highly captivating.


I found the book to be calming, encouraging, and invigorating - an impressive combination to say the least. And yet, somehow, in some way, she is able to use her words to stir up each of these emotions within me.

Overall, Lori presents an engaging, personal, and compelling description of the life we live, the joys we experience, and the struggles we face. It does not seek to be the magic bullet that solves all of our problems. Instead, it proves to be highly thought-provoking, optimistic, and practical. It encourages us to make the most of our short-time here on earth – learning from both our successes and our failures.

Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life's Hard Questions can be found on Amazon in Hardcover or for the Kindle / Nook.

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Lori has graciously offered to give away two free copies of her book to our readers. If you would like a chance to win, please leave a comment below mentioning one thing that you are grateful for today. Two winners will be randomly selected on Monday morning and notified via e-mail.