Joshua Becker's Blog, page 142

The Curious Case of the Bonsai Tree

"Never underestimate the power of dreams and the influence of the human spirit. We are all the same in this notion: The potential for greatness lives within each of us." – William Rudolph

When I was growing up, one of my family's favorite exhibits at the County Fair was the Bonsai Tree collection. Our community had a strong group of Bonsai Tree Lovers that met regularly to refine their craft. Each year, at the County Fair, the group would come together to display their art. The exhibit would typically feature over 100 Bonsai trees. They came in various sizes, shapes, and colors. Some were pretty to look at and some not so much, but the exhibit was always guaranteed to draw a large crowd.

Being young, I always assumed Bonsai trees were special trees that only grew really small. It wasn't until I was older that I learned these miniature trees are no different than any other tree – left on their own they would grow into full-sized trees (much like the trees that composed the forest around our home). But rather than being allowed to reach their fullest size, Bonsai trees are planted in miniature pots, their roots are stunted, and their branches are pruned incessantly. As a result, Bonsai trees never grow to their fullest potential.

And while I completely understand and appreciate the art displayed in the meticulous work of maintaining a Bonsai tree, there is still a piece of me that senses a curious tragedy in this scenario. This tree designed for a great and powerful future has been stunted in its growth.

Yet, this tragedy pales in comparison to the similar tragedy that plays out in so many of our lives on a daily basis. We were designed to accomplish great things. Our lives are unique and perfectly prepared to become something special. We are called to make a significant difference in this world and in the lives of those around us. But far too often, our life's full potential is stunted.

Of course, our growth is not stunted by pots, soil, or pruning. Instead, it is hindered by…

Unhealthy habits
Short-sighted pursuits
Misplaced pride
Excessive consumerism
Unintentionally in relationships
Crippling fear
or Clinging too tightly to the past.

Your life… our lives… hold great potential for this world. Each in our own way, we are designed to make a significant difference. May we intentionally evaluate them. And find the strength to make the changes – both big and small – needed to realize it.

Becoming Minimalist: Dana’s Story

A while back, Becoming Minimalist used to feature stories of readers and their specific personal journeys into minimalism… some of their stories even ended up in our book, Simplify. Their stories encouraged us, challenged us, and reminded us of the importance of the journey.

And even though we have long since ended the series, a number of stories have trickled in over the years as readers have stumbled across our Share Your Story page hidden deep in the archives. Some of the stories are too good to keep to ourselves. So we’ve decided to post five – one every day this week. We hope you enjoy reading them as much as we enjoyed receiving them. Today’s post is the final one.

Dana’s Story

I described my bedroom when I was 17 as ‘organized chaos’. I remember sitting there asking my lifelong best friends if they thought the condition of our rooms reflected who we were on the inside. They didn’t really think so but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was right. I certainly felt better when I cleaned it. Or did I clean it because I felt better?

The following year, I moved into a teeny tiny studio on the beach with one of those friends. Our beds were touching in an L-shape and doubled as couches. We lived walking distance from the beach and work (gas was $4.00 a gallon at this time and I didn’t notice) and were able to leave all the clutter at home… besides our clothes. Our cute shoebox of a studio was swallowed in clothing, we were even using the back seat of my car as another closet… and we still never had anything to wear. During this time we discovered The Secret and let it change our way of thinking and thus our lives. Being with my best friend in a shoebox on the beach, we talked a lot, were always learning, and expressed our gratitude daily and it felt like more than enough to make us happy. We would say we were making the good ol’ days.

At 19, I moved up to college and let my parents do much of the packing, but the next summer when I was moving home was a wake up call. I filled a 5×10 storage unit from floor to ceiling with STUFF. After that move I realized how normal people think it is to live this way, and how I would never, ever do it again.

That was last summer. I’m 21 now and 24 days away from moving back up to school. I’ve spent this whole year purging, realizing after too long that I was still consuming like crazy! In 24 days when I leave, everything I own will fit into the back of my 2-door Chevy Cobalt. I signed a lease in a furnished townhouse this year, and will no longer own any of my furniture, which was enough to furnish a 2-bedroom house. My closet is at least 5 garbage bags worth of clothes lighter and my DVD’s gone. Until this past week I never thought I could give up my flat screen, but I’m really beginning to want to. I’m not done yet, I need the next 24 days, and every one of them, but the peace of mind and stillness I’ve been seeking is in sight.

I don’t know why, but it is so hard to look at your stuff sometimes and really SEE what you have. These things become the backdrop of our daily lives, their energy a constant weight, be it positive or negative. When you start to touch these things and move them and bring back the memories you associate with them, you begin to feel the overwhelming physical and emotional baggage even one item can put on you. I have been so overwhelmed with excess, even right now, but the only way to be set free is to let go.

Minimalism gives me my identity back. I don’t have to look through clutter to find ‘me’ anymore.

Becoming Minimalist: Dana's Story

A while back, Becoming Minimalist used to feature stories of readers and their specific personal journeys into minimalism… some of their stories even ended up in our book, Simplify. Their stories encouraged us, challenged us, and reminded us of the importance of the journey.

And even though we have long since ended the series, a number of stories have trickled in over the years as readers have stumbled across our Share Your Story page hidden deep in the archives. Some of the stories are too good to keep to ourselves. So we've decided to post five – one every day this week. We hope you enjoy reading them as much as we enjoyed receiving them. Today's post is the final one.

Dana's Story

I described my bedroom when I was 17 as 'organized chaos'. I remember sitting there asking my lifelong best friends if they thought the condition of our rooms reflected who we were on the inside. They didn't really think so but I couldn't shake the feeling that I was right. I certainly felt better when I cleaned it. Or did I clean it because I felt better?

The following year, I moved into a teeny tiny studio on the beach with one of those friends. Our beds were touching in an L-shape and doubled as couches. We lived walking distance from the beach and work (gas was $4.00 a gallon at this time and I didn't notice) and were able to leave all the clutter at home… besides our clothes. Our cute shoebox of a studio was swallowed in clothing, we were even using the back seat of my car as another closet… and we still never had anything to wear. During this time we discovered The Secret and let it change our way of thinking and thus our lives. Being with my best friend in a shoebox on the beach, we talked a lot, were always learning, and expressed our gratitude daily and it felt like more than enough to make us happy. We would say we were making the good ol' days.

At 19, I moved up to college and let my parents do much of the packing, but the next summer when I was moving home was a wake up call. I filled a 5×10 storage unit from floor to ceiling with STUFF. After that move I realized how normal people think it is to live this way, and how I would never, ever do it again.

That was last summer. I'm 21 now and 24 days away from moving back up to school. I've spent this whole year purging, realizing after too long that I was still consuming like crazy! In 24 days when I leave, everything I own will fit into the back of my 2-door Chevy Cobalt. I signed a lease in a furnished townhouse this year, and will no longer own any of my furniture, which was enough to furnish a 2-bedroom house. My closet is at least 5 garbage bags worth of clothes lighter and my DVD's gone. Until this past week I never thought I could give up my flat screen, but I'm really beginning to want to. I'm not done yet, I need the next 24 days, and every one of them, but the peace of mind and stillness I've been seeking is in sight.

I don't know why, but it is so hard to look at your stuff sometimes and really SEE what you have. These things become the backdrop of our daily lives, their energy a constant weight, be it positive or negative. When you start to touch these things and move them and bring back the memories you associate with them, you begin to feel the overwhelming physical and emotional baggage even one item can put on you. I have been so overwhelmed with excess, even right now, but the only way to be set free is to let go.

Minimalism gives me my identity back. I don't have to look through clutter to find 'me' anymore.

Becoming Minimalist: Lisa’s Story

A while back, Becoming Minimalist used to feature stories of readers and their specific personal journeys into minimalism… some of their stories even ended up in our book, Simplify. Their stories encouraged us, challenged us, and reminded us of the importance of the journey.

And even though we have long since ended the series, a number of stories have trickled in over the years as readers have stumbled across our Share Your Story page hidden deep in the archives. Some of the stories are too good to keep to ourselves. So we’ve decided to post five – one every day this week. We hope you enjoy reading them as much as we enjoyed receiving them.

Lisa’s Story

After having 2 children before the age of 20, I set off to aquire the “things” required for me to achieve a middle-class lifestyle. My priority was to establish and own a home and fill it with items that I thought would show my success. I did not want to look like the stereotypical “teenage mother.”

As a result, I worked two jobs at a time for many years… t oys, clothes, furniture and decorations were bought and then given away when I regularly changed my idea of what “theme” my house should be.  Sometimes less than yearly, I would change my furniture, curtains etc.  It was not uncommon for me to employ maid services to clean my stuff so that I could go out to earn more money to buy more stuff.

I brought my children gifts almost daily when I came home from work to the point where as I walked in the door they said “Hi Mom, what did you bring me” everyday.  Looking back I can see I was trying to buy happiness and I sure was not happy most of the time!

When my children were in Elementary school, the house I worked so hard for and all of the “stuff” in it burned to the ground due to an electrical fire.  I quickly replaced the the house and its contents and proceeded to spend the next several years repeating the cycle.

Shortly after, my youngest child graduated from high school – the exact same year my father was diagnosed with advanced Parkinson’s disease.

My father was a collector – some would say a hoarder – of electronics and machinery. He developed this habit throughout life and spent much of his time purchasing items at auctions and swap meets and storing them in his house, garage, and basement. When he became sicker and unable to do the things he used to, I traveled to his home 1100 miles away multiple times in a short span of time and with the help of my brother, his wife, and friends cleaned out several tons of his purchases from the basements and garages. Safety for him was a priority and this way of living was not safe.

During all this I began reflecting on the time he spent with his hobby of buying things. And more importantly, how most of it was just discarded so easily… taken away as if it had no importance. The money wasted and time invested seemed so sad, so heartbreaking.

This caused me to reflect on my own habits and the time I had already wasted. How much of my childrens’ childhood, which had ended that same year, had been wasted working to buy things and taking entire blocks of time to maintain it at their expense!  I starting reading blogs to encourage me and motivate me to change my lifestyle and cure this deep sense of regret (Becoming Minimalist and Zen Habits being two of my favorite).

Over the last 6 months I have given away more than 70% of my “stuff.” I feel more peaceful and I have a long way to go even though people are amazed at the minimalist transformation, I can still get rid of more.  My ultimate goal is to have nothing I don’t use or find wonderful by the Christmas season this year. The first step was to stop buying stuff!

I have helped others minimize during this journey and it keeps me strong. I feel liberated and free, soon I will sell my house and get something smaller so I can have a home base and travel. Life is short and I can’t take any possessions with me when I go. But I can leave my children with valuable memories instead of a bunch of useless material things!

Becoming Minimalist: Lisa's Story

A while back, Becoming Minimalist used to feature stories of readers and their specific personal journeys into minimalism… some of their stories even ended up in our book, Simplify. Their stories encouraged us, challenged us, and reminded us of the importance of the journey.

And even though we have long since ended the series, a number of stories have trickled in over the years as readers have stumbled across our Share Your Story page hidden deep in the archives. Some of the stories are too good to keep to ourselves. So we've decided to post five – one every day this week. We hope you enjoy reading them as much as we enjoyed receiving them.

Lisa's Story

After having 2 children before the age of 20, I set off to aquire the "things" required for me to achieve a middle-class lifestyle. My priority was to establish and own a home and fill it with items that I thought would show my success. I did not want to look like the stereotypical "teenage mother."

As a result, I worked two jobs at a time for many years… t oys, clothes, furniture and decorations were bought and then given away when I regularly changed my idea of what "theme" my house should be.  Sometimes less than yearly, I would change my furniture, curtains etc.  It was not uncommon for me to employ maid services to clean my stuff so that I could go out to earn more money to buy more stuff.

I brought my children gifts almost daily when I came home from work to the point where as I walked in the door they said "Hi Mom, what did you bring me" everyday.  Looking back I can see I was trying to buy happiness and I sure was not happy most of the time!

When my children were in Elementary school, the house I worked so hard for and all of the "stuff" in it burned to the ground due to an electrical fire.  I quickly replaced the the house and its contents and proceeded to spend the next several years repeating the cycle.

Shortly after, my youngest child graduated from high school – the exact same year my father was diagnosed with advanced Parkinson's disease.

My father was a collector – some would say a hoarder – of electronics and machinery. He developed this habit throughout life and spent much of his time purchasing items at auctions and swap meets and storing them in his house, garage, and basement. When he became sicker and unable to do the things he used to, I traveled to his home 1100 miles away multiple times in a short span of time and with the help of my brother, his wife, and friends cleaned out several tons of his purchases from the basements and garages. Safety for him was a priority and this way of living was not safe.

During all this I began reflecting on the time he spent with his hobby of buying things. And more importantly, how most of it was just discarded so easily… taken away as if it had no importance. The money wasted and time invested seemed so sad, so heartbreaking.

This caused me to reflect on my own habits and the time I had already wasted. How much of my childrens' childhood, which had ended that same year, had been wasted working to buy things and taking entire blocks of time to maintain it at their expense!  I starting reading blogs to encourage me and motivate me to change my lifestyle and cure this deep sense of regret (Becoming Minimalist and Zen Habits being two of my favorite).

Over the last 6 months I have given away more than 70% of my "stuff." I feel more peaceful and I have a long way to go even though people are amazed at the minimalist transformation, I can still get rid of more.  My ultimate goal is to have nothing I don't use or find wonderful by the Christmas season this year. The first step was to stop buying stuff!

I have helped others minimize during this journey and it keeps me strong. I feel liberated and free, soon I will sell my house and get something smaller so I can have a home base and travel. Life is short and I can't take any possessions with me when I go. But I can leave my children with valuable memories instead of a bunch of useless material things!

Becoming Minimalist: Ashley’s Story

A while back, Becoming Minimalist used to feature stories of readers and their specific personal journeys into minimalism… some of their stories even ended up in our book, Simplify. Their stories encouraged us, challenged us, and reminded us of the importance of the journey.

And even though we have long since ended the series, a number of stories have trickled in over the years as readers have stumbled across our Share Your Story page hidden deep in the archives. Some of the stories are too good to keep to ourselves. So we’ve decided to post five – one every day this week. We hope you enjoy reading them as much as we enjoyed receiving them.

Ashley’s Story

I love the idea of the “American Dream.” Even though I am not American, I appreciate the idea of a life and opportunity that allows for health, a home, family, and the ability to pursue your happiness. However, I feel the idea has ballooned into a type of “Hyde” to the former “Jekyll”. Now, people don’t just want a house, they want 3,000 sqft with a yard the size of a small park. People spend millions of dollars on “health” products each year, including diet products, plastic surgery, supplements… and yet we are less healthy than ever. We pursue our dreams in terms of work – which is really just the pursuit (for most) of wealth – which leads us to work the longest hours we’ve ever worked. In turn, we see our families less and let other people raise them for us. Our kids are not allowed to just be kids anymore – they are scheduled each and every day.

It’s exhausting to think about. I realize that my portrait above does not apply to everyone. There are many people out there who are able to achieve balance and are able to accept where they are in life and live within their means. But overall, the trend is unmistakable. Yet, are we happier? I don’t know about you, but I’m beginning to realize that the simple life may just be a better life altogether.

A “simple” life does not mean one has to go without. The truth is, our expectations are so out of whack we don’t even realize it. How did it become normal to have more than one or two televisions per household? Do we all really need more than one computer? One cell phone? What about more than three or four pairs of shoes?

This weekend I went through my closet in preparing for spring and summer (they say it’s coming, although looking out my window now I feel they are lying to me). As I went through my clothes, bringing summer ones out of storage, I was amazed at how many items I actually had. I made an inventory of the essential pieces a wardrobe should have (a white collared shirt, black pants, jeans, etc.). I was able to check off most things. I realized that all this time I had been thinking that I needed new summer clothes, but the reality is that I don’t need anything!

Ironically, the movie Confessions of a Shopaholic was on TV while I was doing this – very apropos right now I might add – and I recognized some of myself in her character (albeit not that extreme!). I was suddenly ashamed, but also liberated. I didn’t actually NEED anything! Ok, so the truth is that I actually needed a few things – but these are things I actually needed – i.e. underwear. So, today, armed with a list and budgeted amounts I was set to pay for each item (yes, I am a nerd), I went out and purchased only the things I NEEDED. It’s weird to say but I have never shopped this way before, other than for groceries. It was really fun and I didn’t feel guilty at all!

I know that the “American Dream” is basically an idealistic myth – most households are not the typical nuclear family with a dog named Max and a white picket fence, but the foundation and values of the idea resonate with me. I just want a nice home (I said nice, not HUGE or expensive), a reliable car, nice clothes (again, stylish doesn’t necessarily mean expensive), and a happy, healthy family. I’ll be honest, scaling down isn’t easy for me to do – I am used to a pretty comfortable life. But I also realize that to have the things I want (i.e. a family I can raise myself), I have to get used to being satisfied and more content. I need to stop always wanting more (and I have to also admit that it is EXHAUSTING to always want more). In fact, one of the foundations of the American Dream is “freedom from want”. I know that the actual meaning is freedom from wanting the necessities of life, but today, it means freedom to accept and be O.K. with where you are, right now.

Becoming Minimalist: Ashley's Story

A while back, Becoming Minimalist used to feature stories of readers and their specific personal journeys into minimalism… some of their stories even ended up in our book, Simplify. Their stories encouraged us, challenged us, and reminded us of the importance of the journey.

And even though we have long since ended the series, a number of stories have trickled in over the years as readers have stumbled across our Share Your Story page hidden deep in the archives. Some of the stories are too good to keep to ourselves. So we've decided to post five – one every day this week. We hope you enjoy reading them as much as we enjoyed receiving them.

Ashley's Story

I love the idea of the "American Dream." Even though I am not American, I appreciate the idea of a life and opportunity that allows for health, a home, family, and the ability to pursue your happiness. However, I feel the idea has ballooned into a type of "Hyde" to the former "Jekyll". Now, people don't just want a house, they want 3,000 sqft with a yard the size of a small park. People spend millions of dollars on "health" products each year, including diet products, plastic surgery, supplements… and yet we are less healthy than ever. We pursue our dreams in terms of work – which is really just the pursuit (for most) of wealth – which leads us to work the longest hours we've ever worked. In turn, we see our families less and let other people raise them for us. Our kids are not allowed to just be kids anymore – they are scheduled each and every day.

It's exhausting to think about. I realize that my portrait above does not apply to everyone. There are many people out there who are able to achieve balance and are able to accept where they are in life and live within their means. But overall, the trend is unmistakable. Yet, are we happier? I don't know about you, but I'm beginning to realize that the simple life may just be a better life altogether.

A "simple" life does not mean one has to go without. The truth is, our expectations are so out of whack we don't even realize it. How did it become normal to have more than one or two televisions per household? Do we all really need more than one computer? One cell phone? What about more than three or four pairs of shoes?

This weekend I went through my closet in preparing for spring and summer (they say it's coming, although looking out my window now I feel they are lying to me). As I went through my clothes, bringing summer ones out of storage, I was amazed at how many items I actually had. I made an inventory of the essential pieces a wardrobe should have (a white collared shirt, black pants, jeans, etc.). I was able to check off most things. I realized that all this time I had been thinking that I needed new summer clothes, but the reality is that I don't need anything!

Ironically, the movie Confessions of a Shopaholic was on TV while I was doing this – very apropos right now I might add – and I recognized some of myself in her character (albeit not that extreme!). I was suddenly ashamed, but also liberated. I didn't actually NEED anything! Ok, so the truth is that I actually needed a few things – but these are things I actually needed – i.e. underwear. So, today, armed with a list and budgeted amounts I was set to pay for each item (yes, I am a nerd), I went out and purchased only the things I NEEDED. It's weird to say but I have never shopped this way before, other than for groceries. It was really fun and I didn't feel guilty at all!

I know that the "American Dream" is basically an idealistic myth – most households are not the typical nuclear family with a dog named Max and a white picket fence, but the foundation and values of the idea resonate with me. I just want a nice home (I said nice, not HUGE or expensive), a reliable car, nice clothes (again, stylish doesn't necessarily mean expensive), and a happy, healthy family. I'll be honest, scaling down isn't easy for me to do – I am used to a pretty comfortable life. But I also realize that to have the things I want (i.e. a family I can raise myself), I have to get used to being satisfied and more content. I need to stop always wanting more (and I have to also admit that it is EXHAUSTING to always want more). In fact, one of the foundations of the American Dream is "freedom from want". I know that the actual meaning is freedom from wanting the necessities of life, but today, it means freedom to accept and be O.K. with where you are, right now.

Becoming Minimalist: Joanna’s Story

A while back, Becoming Minimalist used to feature stories of readers and their specific personal journeys into minimalism… some of their stories even ended up in our book, Simplify. Their stories encouraged us, challenged us, and reminded us of the importance of the journey.

And even though we have long since ended the series, a number of stories have trickled in over the years as readers have stumbled across our Share Your Story page hidden deep in the archives. Some of the stories are too good to keep to ourselves. So we’ve decided to post five – one every day this week. We hope you enjoy reading them as much as we enjoyed receiving them.

Joanna’s Story

I had the luck in my life to learn the value of having just the right amount of things early in my life. Part of it comes from the fact that I was born in communist Poland – even though the communism ended just as I was starting school. My parents and grandparents, born just before or during WWII, lived their whole lives in a country and time where you bought whatever you could find, because you could be sure, that when you needed e.g. a new iron, they would be missing from shops. They are not hoarders, but they loved having and buying stuff “just in case.” My parents also taught me to use things (like the mentioned iron) until they broke down and could not be repaired.

My family was always relatively wealthy, so I had almost everything I wanted. But luckily, my parents also taught me the value of saving money, so I was never the one for impulsive buying.

On the other hand, my husband comes from a much poorer family. When he first started having money of his own, he used it to buy all kinds of stuff. He even used to say that he has the money to spend the money. That made me very uneasy. Luckily for me, at this time, he lived in a crowded dorm, so he quickly learned the value of having less things around. Not being able to sleep in your bed because of all the stuff laying on it does that to you.

When we were 20, we rented our first apartment not far from my parents. As a result, I had the comfort of leaving most things there and every now and then I took a backpack full of books or clothes to my new home. We moved once more with our friends – this time to live longer in one place and get married.

Until I found the right set of cutlery, dishes, cups, linens and so on we had mostly hand-me-downs from both families. At this point, some of the lessons from my early life turned on. I couldn’t get rid of the old stuff… I held on to most of it “just in case.” To make things worse, my parents took all my old stuff to my new house. We bought new cupboards and shelves, but they were always full. We felt stuck, forgetting what we had already learned years earlier and sinking in things, especially since our son was beginning to crawl and get into everything.

One day, about a year ago, a friend of mine was moving in with her fiancé. They used to live in a rented, fully-furnished apartment and now they had bare walls. She felt scared thinking about all the money she would have to spend on necessary things, especially with the wedding coming. In a spur-of-the-moment, without even thinking, I offered her all my old dishes, cups, bowls and some kitchen utensils that I had just lying around. She was really happy to get them (even though they were clearly old and used) and, deep-down, I was happy that I didn’t have to throw them away but could give them a new life.

Some time later, another friend sent me the Minimalists’ essay on giving and receiving gifts. And my eyes opened. That was exactly what I felt about most of the gifts. I read more deeply, and decided to really clean out our home. Some may say that it was a stupid idea, as I was pregnant with our second child, but it actually made a lot of sense. Letting go of many things in my home and really thinking about practicality of baby-stuff allowed me not to drown in it again. And having less clutter around our home has allowed me to focus more time and energy on what’s most important in my life right now.

That being said, I found that the most difficult part is not to let clutter re-enter your home. Another saying by my husband, “You can’t win against entropy.” But I always reply, “But you can still fight the good fight.”

Becoming Minimalist: Joanna's Story

A while back, Becoming Minimalist used to feature stories of readers and their specific personal journeys into minimalism… some of their stories even ended up in our book, Simplify. Their stories encouraged us, challenged us, and reminded us of the importance of the journey.

And even though we have long since ended the series, a number of stories have trickled in over the years as readers have stumbled across our Share Your Story page hidden deep in the archives. Some of the stories are too good to keep to ourselves. So we've decided to post five – one every day this week. We hope you enjoy reading them as much as we enjoyed receiving them.

Joanna's Story

I had the luck in my life to learn the value of having just the right amount of things early in my life. Part of it comes from the fact that I was born in communist Poland – even though the communism ended just as I was starting school. My parents and grandparents, born just before or during WWII, lived their whole lives in a country and time where you bought whatever you could find, because you could be sure, that when you needed e.g. a new iron, they would be missing from shops. They are not hoarders, but they loved having and buying stuff "just in case." My parents also taught me to use things (like the mentioned iron) until they broke down and could not be repaired.

My family was always relatively wealthy, so I had almost everything I wanted. But luckily, my parents also taught me the value of saving money, so I was never the one for impulsive buying.

On the other hand, my husband comes from a much poorer family. When he first started having money of his own, he used it to buy all kinds of stuff. He even used to say that he has the money to spend the money. That made me very uneasy. Luckily for me, at this time, he lived in a crowded dorm, so he quickly learned the value of having less things around. Not being able to sleep in your bed because of all the stuff laying on it does that to you.

When we were 20, we rented our first apartment not far from my parents. As a result, I had the comfort of leaving most things there and every now and then I took a backpack full of books or clothes to my new home. We moved once more with our friends – this time to live longer in one place and get married.

Until I found the right set of cutlery, dishes, cups, linens and so on we had mostly hand-me-downs from both families. At this point, some of the lessons from my early life turned on. I couldn't get rid of the old stuff… I held on to most of it "just in case." To make things worse, my parents took all my old stuff to my new house. We bought new cupboards and shelves, but they were always full. We felt stuck, forgetting what we had already learned years earlier and sinking in things, especially since our son was beginning to crawl and get into everything.

One day, about a year ago, a friend of mine was moving in with her fiancé. They used to live in a rented, fully-furnished apartment and now they had bare walls. She felt scared thinking about all the money she would have to spend on necessary things, especially with the wedding coming. In a spur-of-the-moment, without even thinking, I offered her all my old dishes, cups, bowls and some kitchen utensils that I had just lying around. She was really happy to get them (even though they were clearly old and used) and, deep-down, I was happy that I didn't have to throw them away but could give them a new life.

Some time later, another friend sent me the Minimalists' essay on giving and receiving gifts. And my eyes opened. That was exactly what I felt about most of the gifts. I read more deeply, and decided to really clean out our home. Some may say that it was a stupid idea, as I was pregnant with our second child, but it actually made a lot of sense. Letting go of many things in my home and really thinking about practicality of baby-stuff allowed me not to drown in it again. And having less clutter around our home has allowed me to focus more time and energy on what's most important in my life right now.

That being said, I found that the most difficult part is not to let clutter re-enter your home. Another saying by my husband, "You can't win against entropy." But I always reply, "But you can still fight the good fight."

Becoming Minimalist: Heather’s Story

A while back, Becoming Minimalist used to feature stories of readers and their specific personal journeys into minimalism… some of their stories even ended up in our book, Simplify. Their stories encouraged us, challenged us, and reminded us of the importance of the journey.

And even though we have long since ended the series, a number of stories have trickled in over the years as readers have stumbled across our Share Your Story page hidden deep in the archives. Some of the stories are too good to keep to ourselves. So we’ve decided to post five – one every day this week. We hope you enjoy reading them as much as we have.

Heather’s Story

I’m new to the idea of minimalism. I grew up in a house that was full of stuff — family heirlooms (especially furniture) from my great-great-grandmother, great-grandmother, and grandmother filled our house. When a family friend (who had no children) passed away in 2005, my mother was the one who took on the task of going through her things and selling the house. A lot of those things ended up coming to our house.

That isn’t to say we bought a lot of things. My mother was very frugal and stretched every dollar that came into our home. I wore hand-me-downs from her friends’ older daughters, and she wore the same jeans for well over a decade. We didn’t go on shopping sprees — things just came in and didn’t leave. It wasn’t the sort of thing you see on “Hoarders” or even “Clean House”, by any means, but it was still hard to clean with all that stuff around.

Fast forward 5 years:

At 25 (and single), I bought a 60-year-old, 1,200 sq ft house with two bedrooms, a large kitchen, roomy bathroom, and a beautiful living room that spanned the front of the house — 8 windows let in tons of natural light all day.

And then, as homeowners typically do, I proceeded to fill it – every room with more and more stuff.

When I was recalled to the Army for deployment, it took the movers over 4 hours to pack up my house. Tons of papers, left over from my 4 years in the Army and never shreded. Seventeen boxes containing some 600 books. Boxes and boxes of clothes, most of which were left from my “skinny” days 3 years earlier. Kitchen appliances and dishes that I almost never used… You get the idea.

I was embarrassed that one person had accumulated so much stuff and resolved to deal with it when I got home.

After spending a year dragging the excess stuff issued to me by the Army (3 duffel bags, one very large rolling duffel bag, and a large rucksack) through 5 different states and then to two different places in Afghanistan, I became more determined to simplify my life when I got home. Half of the stuff I’d been forced to haul around had never been used, and my living space was an 8 x 8 sq ft room. The deployment showed me how little I really need to get by, both in terms of stuff and in terms of space.

I returned home from Afghanistan in June 2011. At first, it was pretty easy. After moving into an apartment, my furniture consisted of a cot in the bedroom, a plastic tub I used as a table, and a folding chair. But then the movers brought my stuff. And it filled over half of my living room.

Slowly and deliberately I went through the boxes. I read It’s All Too Much by Peter Walsh to bouy my resolve when it wavered.

It’s been six months now since I moved in, and I just unpacked the last box. I came across The Joy of Less and Inspiration to Declutter a few days ago. I’ve taken several bags of books that I’ll never read (or reread) to my favorite used bookstore for credit. I’ve parted with all but 6 of my absolute favorite Barbie dolls; the rest have either been listed on Amazon or donated to Goodwill. I’m going to tackle my closets (again) tonight.

I still have a long way to go, but with every box or bag that leaves the house, I feel happier and more free — and that alone is worth more than all the stuff in the world!