Michael Kindt's Blog, page 455

George Costanza :)

George Costanza :)

i like you.

Hugs?

I like bad girls, crazy girls review

theidlegeneration:

I like bad girls, crazy girls

damaged girls, 
artistic, emotional wrecks. 
I was talking to a friend the other day, 
let's call him Dumbass, 
and he was lamenting 
how he wished 
you could just find a normal, 
sweet girl to go out with.

I say Fuck That. 
Gimme the drama, bitches. 
If you ever see me anywhere 
buying matching sheets 
or thinking up a color scheme 
for my bathroom, 
put a gun to my head 
and blow me the fuck away. 
I want complexity, 
problems, 
chaos, 
not a picket fence.

Sex,
murder,
art.

By early-onset-of-night
This isn't poetry- it's prose formatted as verse. Note the use of full stops to punctuate each thought i.e. a sentence. Therefore I won't offer a proper critique. At least he has the good sense to hash tag  #poetry? his work. I guess his fans are mostly the type of women he is talking about have decided it endorses the way they live and 'liked' his work.

Here we have somebody attempting to get attention by being a critic. The unknown guy, probably little more than a teenager, gets to define poetry for all of us and has decided that the use of punctuation in poetry is incorrect. I think I speak for everyone when I say "Thanks for enlightening us, professor." This isn't a proper critique, as the boy says. Note the ad hominem attack on the people who did happen to like my "poem". Saying the people who liked The Lord of The Rings are idiots does not constitute a critique of the movies and/or books.  The jealousy bubbling bellow the surface of this is really quite sad, and I do hope that one day he can muster more than single notes on his own cliched, Hallmark card style poetry.

"Criticism really used to hurt me. Most of these critics are usually frustrated artists, and they..."

"Criticism really used to hurt me. Most of these critics are usually frustrated artists, and they criticise other people's art because they can't do it themselves. It's a really disgusting job. They must feel horrible inside."

- Rosanna Arquette

Twelve bucks. Includes shipping.

Book I wrote. Made out of paper. Three dimensional.

Fragrant.

Makes a fabulous mulch. Will turn you on and creep you out between pages 58 and 86. Will make you laugh between pages 115 and 158. Will make you think between pages 162 and 189. Will make you cry beginning on page 191. Other emotions also included, one of which is probably disgust. Comes in all-purpose black and does not include complimentary bookmark. Signed by me, however. Plus nifty card. Will send directly or go through Ebay.

Ask

VEGANISM IS NATURAL

So we're talking, me and this other person, about food, health, etc., and we got around to vegans. We both know a couple vegans, one of whom is doing it totally wrong and looks like a corpse. She, however, is a PICKY vegan, which is a recipe for disaster. If you are going to greatly limit your diet, DO NOT greatly limit it even more by being picky.

The few other vegans we know are intelligent and healthy individuals. Excuse me, intelligent THEREFORE healthy. You have to go about veganism a certain way or, eventually, it will kill you. True facts.

There are a number of concerns vegans have that omnivores don't, most important of which is probably B12. As in you can't get it from plants. At all. If you don't get enough B12, your body will stop making red blood cells, your nervous system will collapse, and you will keel over dead.

So a vegan has to make an effort to get enough B12. In fact, with our longer lifespans these days, even older omnivores need to make that same effort.

B12 is manufactured by tiny bacteria living in the soil. They also live in turds. The reason cows get so much B12 (which omnivores then get by eating cows) is because cows eat a lot of soil. A lot of it. What do you think is attached to the roots of all the grass they rip out of the ground? A cow spends most of its life with its wet mouth only centimeters above dirt and, as an added bonus, remnants of its own turds. Cows aren't picky. As long as its mostly grass, they don't mind eating some turdy dirt.

We humans are different. Not only do we avoid eating dirt and turds, we even wash our plates and utensils after every use. Marketing has even managed to get us spraying disinfectant everywhere so that the harmless, naturally occurring bacteria in our environment will become resistant to everything and then kill us all.

But I digress.

So, yeah, vegans need to take extra steps to get B12. They have to either take supplements or eat plant foods that have been artificially fortified with it.

My friend felt that these added steps required in veganism rendered it "unnatural". I disagreed, pointing out that thousands of years ago food was not cooked, that cooking was an innovation, just like supplements or food fortification are innovations. No one can seriously call cooking unnatural. Ok, maybe the Raw Food People, but those folks use three times as much toilet paper as anyone else. How can they possibly be taken seriously?

I have deeper philosophical reasons for believing that veganism is perfectly natural: it's done by humans, who are a part of nature. Whatever we do is natural. In fact, how can ANYTHING be unnatural if it occurs in nature? We can't even conceive of the unnatural, let alone do it.

Please extrapolate this to homosexuals, Republicans, pro wrestling fans, tiny figurine collectors, and anyone else living in a way you don't "agree" with. Let's cut everyone some slack.

Eat, drink, and be merry, for someday we'll all be dead. Especially you.

Cheers!

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My pumpkins this year. I have named them Abductor and Abductee.

My pumpkins this year. I have named them Abductor and Abductee.

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Kim Kardashian, famous for having a rich daddy and a sex tape...

Kim Kardashian, famous for having a rich daddy and a sex tape that was, let's be honest, pretty lame, has filed for divorce from her husband of 72 days, reports TMZ. Widely mistaken by a clueless public as attractive, Kim K's "career" has primarily consisted of simply being famous for no particular reason. Her resume has been further marred by several acting and modeling attempts.

On August 20th, 2011, NBA basketballer Kris Humphries married her for some reason. The wedding cost 20 million dollars, a fraction of what Kim wanted. "These are difficult times for everyone," Kim told a reporter shortly after the ceremony. "We all have to make sacrifices."

The couple had planned to divorce after approximately a year, the length of a standard shallow Hollywood-type marriage, but self-absorpsion prevented the lovebirds from making it that far. At 72 days, the Kardashian/Humphries marriage is one of the shorter mockeries of love and commitment in recent memory.

"I really thought they were meant for each other," said Ray J, Kim's former boyfriend and "co-star" of her sex tape. He then burst out laughing.

Hello, there. My name's Mike and I'm miserable.

For some reason, I got like ten new followers overnight. I had even recently posted something too, which usually has the opposite effect. But anyway. I am officially, mark-your-calendars sick, something I haven't been since 2008. My eyes are red and scratchy. My throat is red (I'm guessing) and scratchy. My nose is running. My head feels like it's full of cotton. I have a slight cough. Primarily, my throat hurts, that's the main thing. I would give my left nut for a lozenge with heroin in it. Welcome aboard. Expect more whining.