Michael Kindt's Blog, page 459
October 25, 2011
I hope it's nice today. I want to write in the park.
A few days ago, I wrote downtown, which is a lovely part of this small city. I sat at one of those iron tables that are "for hotel guests only," which, of course, I wasn't. They didn't say anything to me, but I was prepared to feign ignorance if they had: "Huh? What? Oh, sorry." I wrote there for nearly an hour, trying to turn a narrative into a third person. I have mild, passing thoughts that my writing is perhaps too first-person-narrative heavy. It is, but sometimes it bugs me. Other times I'm like "Fuck it, that's how I write."
So I was there trying to do that, trying to make it third person. In other words, I was stripping it of all its immediacy and making it sound unnatural.
I got bored with that and went for a walk, smoking a pipe. I smoke these giant corncob pipes that are compensation for my miniscule cock. They're huge, based on the one smoked by General Douglas MacArthur. Check him out here. Mine are smaller than that, but still pretty big. They're even called 'the General'. They make them in Missouri. Out of corn. Fuck yeah.
Whenever I'm out walking among the peasants and smoking my giant corncob pipe, I get looks. The pipe is a rare way to consume tobacco these days, especially for someone who isn't a great-grandpa. People look at me as if I'm wearing a monocle or perhaps running late for a stagecoach. To tell you the truth, I wish I WAS wearing a monocle and running late for a stagecoach, a stagecoach that would happily take me the fuck away from the skinny white kid sitting in the car at the red light blasting hip hop and sucking on an energy drink.
People look at me, surprised, saying, "Look at that dude smoking a pipe! And he only has a few gray hairs in his beard!"
And I'm all, "Those are BLOND hairs!" and then burst into tears.
I've been smoking this stuff called Haunted Bookshop, which is really really good. Musty, spicy, earthy, just like I pretend to be. And, yes, I bought it because of the name.
By the way, I don't inhale. Tobacco is bad for you. I love the fragrance, though, and absorb sufficient nicotine through the membranes of my mouth.
I do hope it's nice today.
Good morning!
How's everything? My son's feeling better. Thanks for being concerned :) Actually, it's a good thing he's sick now because he has a show on Halloween and has to sing and play guitar for like 45 minutes straight. Hard to do with a semi-severe upper respiratory thing. Hopefully he'll be 100% in a few days time.
Um, what else? Oh, new article is up. True, I already posted it here, but it's much cooler over there, even though it has all the exact same words arranged exactly. Scamper over and read it and like it and share it and print it out and give it to your grandma or just fold it up and put it in your shirt pocket next to your heart.
Go!
October 24, 2011
Got Ink? Barbie DoesThe newest Barbie doll to hit store shelves...
Got Ink? Barbie Does
The newest Barbie doll to hit store shelves is sparking controversy. The doll sports several tattoos, and some parents say it's sending the wrong message to their kids.
Called, for some bizarre reason, Tokidoki Barbie, the impossibly shaped tiny plastic female is the newest addition to the iconic collection that's been warping the minds of little girls with impossible standards of beauty for over 50 years now.
Tokidoki Barbie is edgy, with pink hair, and sky-high stilettos. Well, maybe she just has pink hair and sky-high stilettos. Anyone who thinks tattoos are edgy nowadays should probably upgrade to Windows 95.
"I don't think it's appropriate for little girls to be having Barbies with tattoos all over," Reye Griffith, a parent, said awkwardly, most likely as she placed a lone corndog into a dirty microwave.
Tokidoki Barbie's upper plastic torso, which is shaped nothing like a human female, is covered with exotic-looking tattoos. A large flower covers her chest and a tiger curls up her neck.
"I think it sends all the wrong signals to young girls," said Mitti Hansen, the mother of a 4-year-old girl she doesn't want all the wrong signals sent to.
Tokidoki Barbie is not the first Barbie to sport tattoos. In 2009, Mattel unveiled Totally Stylin' Barbie, but her tattoos were stick-on and could be removed. Since everyone and their dog knows that removable tattoos aren't even slightly stylin', much less totally stylin', Mattel decided to up the ante on the realistic.
Tokidoki Barbie's tats are actually inked on. Even concerted, vigorous scrubbing won't remove them. Solvents, flame, or razor blades are the only hope.
"Maybe if a little girl sees those tattoos, she'll also want a tattoo too, and I think that's not good," another parent, Latifa Zyne, also said awkwardly, in all likelihood, as she, too, placed a lone corndog into a dirty microwave.
Body art is a growing trend, to say the least. According to the American Academy of Dermatology, 1 in 4 Americans ages 18 to 50 now has at least one tattoo, which makes us, as a nation, only about 75% dorky.
Tattoo artist Pablo Jimenez said Tokidoki Barbie is just a reflection of a more accepting attitude toward body ink. "Tattoos right now are everywhere. It's just about art. It's nothing bad."
In previous decades, tattoos were a sign of rebellion. Of course, that was only in our culture, which has long been twisted by the uniquely uptight weirdness that is Christianity. In other cultures, tattoos marked adulthood, membership, rites of passage, or were simply creations of beauty.
American society is unique in its ability to absorb rebellious behavior, mass produce it, and render it harmless. That's precisely what it did with rock n' roll. It's entirely conceivable that within a year the Occupy Wall Street movement will be sponsored by Coleman Camping Gear.
Today, the tattoo is in flux. It can range from a mind-blowing work of art, to a pop culture celebration, to a simple fashion statement. It can have a deep personal meaning for the wearer or simply be "cute".
There's no way, however, that it can seriously be considered a form of rebellion anymore, not when Barbie's got ink, for pete sake.
Some parents, though, really are on edge about a tattooed Barbie doll, probably because they're bored out of their minds or simply too terrified to confront real problems. Maybe by pretending this is a serious issue and taking a stand against it, they can give themselves something to do while Western Civilization crumbles down around them.
Whatever gets them through the night, I guess.
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My son is sick. Poor little guy :(
He lives 40 miles away, but he comes to his daddy to be sick. He's got quite the cough and is supposed to work in two hours, which ain't gonna happen. He just finally fell asleep after hacking all night. I haven't been sick in probably 3 or 4 years, but he gets sick every year, usually in the Fall. To be honest, I love taking care of him.
BRB, going to buy fruit….
October 23, 2011
Anyway, I'd like to thank you all for a most enjoyable evening.
Take care, have fun, and yadda yadda yadda.
I try to explain to all the sober people how it's like.
It's like fucking screaming, that's what it's like. My head makes noise, all the time, and I have no peace. So I seek it through alcohol, and you know what? It works.
Your head is normal (I assume)
It doesn't scream at you at all.
You win.
I figured out the perfect time to drink whiskey strait!
After you've dranken two bottles of wine already.
Down Boys ~ The Cars
just stay outta their way
Down Boys ~ The Cars
just stay outta their way
October 22, 2011
jayarrarr replied to your post: I am in the delightful process of drinking two bottles of wine....
I LOVE beaujolais-villages.
Me too! Only 14 bucks. Had to snap it up. I only drink French wine (philosophical reasons), and that's a good price around here for Villages level.
I feel all warm and gooey inside and can't stop smiling.
:)
This man has a nice beard.
Someone submitted a cool beard....
This man has a nice beard.
Someone submitted a cool beard. FYI
