Michael Kindt's Blog, page 451
November 10, 2011
EXCERPT
On my way to the car I went through the garage and grabbed my son's aluminum bat. Even though it was for little league and smaller, it's coldness and weight felt good in my hands. I swung it under the eerie fluorescent light a few times, listening to it cut through the air. The sound calmed me. I slipped it behind the front seat and drove to Jim's apartment.
The trip over seemed longer than usual. It was like I wasn't even "there", if that makes sense. A weird faded softness covered everything, making the world superficial and fragmented, like an incomplete image. It felt like I was remembering what was happening rather than experiencing it. My mind seemed displaced, focused on nothing, and floating. Then the apartment building was before me, a patchwork of dorm and insane asylum, looming and shabby. I caught my breath and turned away. I didn't want to see him just yet.
I drove a few blocks to some random convenience store and bought a 6-pack of tall boys. I slammed one in the parking lot, thinking. How the hell was I going to do this? What the hell was I going to do, exactly? Beat his fucking ass, yes, but how far to take it? The wife likes them big, but Jim was the biggest yet. I had to take him out quick, with one hit. If he got a hold of me…
I thought about my son and knew I didn't want to kill anyone. I wanted to be there. Wanted to watch him grow up, give him advice, the works. Just like they do on tv. I reached behind the seat and sat his little bat in my lap and started doubting myself, almost purposefully, doubting my own passion and hate, the only things in my life I could sink my teeth into. The only things that gave the world color and heat.
His little bat. Maybe this summer he'll hit his first homer.
I opened another beer and put music on as loud as it would go.
from EOoN, Volume One (Cold Dead Hands)
November 9, 2011
Eowyn—The coolest character in the Lord of the Rings,...
Eowyn—
The coolest character in the Lord of the Rings, possibly in any movie. She is the very definition of Absolutely Fucking Awesome (AFA). If you want to understand what nobility is, look to her.
When the Witch-King of Angmar, who is a card-carrying member of the undead and a goddamn wraith, informs her that no man can kill him, she simply points out that she is no man and up and kills him, screaming at the top of her lungs. She stabs him right in his empty fucking face and he crumples up like a beer can.
Damn, I love that part.
I've seen these movies probably 10 times and now I'm watching the extended versions. Yee haw! I love the epic themes, easily understood morality, and all the characters, good and bad. I love Eowyn best of all, though. Whenever she is on screen being the epitome of class or a motherfucking badass, I perk up and watch closely, sometimes even replaying her scenes. And later on, when I am going about my little dipshit existence doing my little dipshit things, I think to myself WHAT WOULD EOWYN DO (WWED)? How would Eowyn go about buying a gallon of milk or paying a cell phone bill?
She is my moral compass. I want to be just like her when I grow up. I want to have just one-tenth of her balls, just one-tenth of her compassion and fire.
When Aragorn asks her what she fears, she replies "A cage. To stay behind bars until use and old age accept them, and all chance of valor has gone beyond recall or desire."
I fear that, too, m'Lady. *bows head*
November 8, 2011
Rhino being relocated dramatically in South Africa.
Rhino being relocated dramatically in South Africa.
LESS THAN ZERO
By now, it is pretty well known that General Electric, a company that showed $14.2 billion in profit worldwide, paid no taxes. In fact, it not only paid no taxes, but got a $3.2 billion tax rebate.
Two reports by Citizens for Tax Justice and the Institute on Taxation and Economic Policy respectively, released since the end of October, show that GE wasn't alone. Of the 280 most profitable U.S. companies, 30 of them paid "less than zero" taxes in the last three years, and 78 of them didn't pay any taxes at all in at least one of the last three years.
Since these reports clearly show that corporate welfare exists, they have to be wrong and quickly discounted, right? The only welfare that exists in this country is given to lazy individuals who would rather sit on their butts than work.
The statutory tax rate for corporations in the U.S. is 35 percent, but by using a variety of legal tax loopholes put in place by lawmakers as payment for large campaign contributions, the 280 most profitable U.S. companies were able to whittle this down to an average of 18.5 percent. Only 71 of those companies paid more than 30 percent, clearly demonstrating a need for better lawyers and accountants.
Power company Pepco Holdings had the lowest tax rate in the nation, at negative 57.6 percent. That's NEGATIVE 57.6 percent, meaning the company, which was already profitable, made more money AFTER it paid its taxes than before. How cool is that?
Wells Fargo received the most in welfare money among the 280 companies, raking in nearly $18 billion in tax breaks in the last three years. All 280 companies took in a combined $222.7 billion in welfare over the last three years.
These reports come as a bipartisan committee of six Republicans and six Democrats pretends to struggle over how to cut the U.S. budget deficit, even though it's patently obvious how to everyone but those in power. This "supercommittee", as it is has been called, has to come up with a plan by Nov. 23 to save at least $1.2 trillion over 10 years or risk tripping automatic budget cuts. These automatic cuts would slice deepest into defense spending. By the way, did you know we spend more on defense than all the other nations on this planet COMBINED? So, yeah, cutting defense spending would be a bad idea.
Rest assured, though, this committee will come up with a plan, and just in the nick of time too. It's a supercommittee after all. Just you watch, a deal will be in place by midnight Nov. 23, avoiding the automatic cuts to defense and preserving the enormous profits of those who build bombs and guns and all the other machines of war. The deal will also preserve corporate welfare in every single way, and will instead cut assistance to poor and working class Americans who are, let's face it, just being lazy.
The status quo, as always, will be preserved.
source :: more :: Facebook
Hello Catholic Church, Hello Penn State.
If you know or strongly suspect someone's a child molester, doing nothing is NOT an option.
November 7, 2011
Do you have a blogspot? I think you're hilarious and I'd love to follow you there!
No, sure don't. I do all my blogging here at Tumblr. It's my home and I've been here exactly 2 years. Hey! It's my birthday this month! November 2009 I started EOoN. Ha, I didn't realize. I do have a more formal column over on the political humor wing of MSNBC. Here it is. That reminds me I need to write something for them by Wednesday….
So I went to the dentist, see?
It was just a check-up to determine a plan of treatment for my neglected toofers. I am currently 97 years old, but have only been to the dentist 4 times in my life.
No money, no insurance, utter fear, etc.
One tooth has to go, plus I need a couple fillings. I need a serious ultrasonic cleaning. Other than that, all is cool. They want me to floss. They told me they could tell I was a tea drinker. They said this was good. (There's fluoride in green tea). They said my roots are deep. Other things.
Of note: my dentist is a young female. She's going to be doing all the work and I am most happy about this. Leaving my appointment today, I scratched my head as to why I never looked for a female dentist before. I am completely without fear around her. It's amazing. Why are there even male dentists at all? They should be banned from the profession. The last time I went to the dentist, which was back in the 1920s, I had a dude and he was an insensitive dick. He was poking around in my mouth and it filled with blood and saliva. I asked him if I could spit and he looked at me like I was crazy.
"No," he said, completely shocked that I had the goddamn gall to even ask him. What a fucking dick he was.
So I avoided dentists. Recently, a piece of my tooth broke off and I knew I had to go get it taken care of. I procrastinated. Made excuses. "I'll go next week," I said every week.
Finally, I grew a pair and made an appointment after actively searching for and finding a female dentist. Best decision I ever made.
Why are there even men on this planet? I want female everything: female cops, politicians, dentists, doctors, everything. If you think about it, there's really no reason to have any men at all. Except for me, that is. As far as I can tell, I'm the only decent man on the planet.
You go, girls!
Fall Back
It's very odd that it is now dark out to me. It isn't even six thirty and it's pitch black out. For all I know, it could be midnight. I actually looked at my phone twice. Six fifteen? No way.
I wonder what time it really is. Like locally. Standardized time didn't come around until the railroads. Before that, every town determined its own time. I wonder how they did it. What I'm going to do tomorrow if it's sunny is go out before noon and figure out using shadow the exact moment the sun is highest in the sky. That will be noon. Seriously, I wonder how far we're off from the real local time. Since we've fallen back, we're now closer to what time it really is. Daylight savings time is not the real time and is truly an hour off.
Hm.
kallixti replied to your post: So, the dentist today. Boo.
They probably only use a schtickle of...
They probably only use a schtickle of floride, too.
You know, it's their sense of humor that has sustained them for 3,000 years.
