Michael Kindt's Blog, page 454
November 4, 2011
apieceofmine replied to your post: Who here loves Jules Verne? I do! I do!
Interesting, I always...
apieceofmine replied to your post: Who here loves Jules Verne? I do! I do!
Interesting, I always assumed that 'translation' was pretty darn straightforward. But I never really thought much about it. Welp! Now I am!
Yep, translation is an art, not a science. Simply translating something literally word for word into English would make it virtually unreadable. I have a book of Japanese haikus that have been translated into English. Amazingly, they retain the haiku form even though they were originally written in Japanese. I keep this around for comic relief, too. Nietzsche's Zarathustra is a pretty hard book to translate, too, because much of it was written in a style of mocking (of German Lutheranism). We can never get this in English. Humor, punning, satire, etc., are virtually impossible to translate.
Who here loves Jules Verne? I do! I do!
Jules wrote in French, his native tongue, a language with almost as much beauty and nobility as Mother English. However, when translators began bringing his body of work over into English, they had a brain fart and decided to do a shit job. Their first mistake was assuming his work was YA, even though it contained no vampires or werewolves. Their second mistake was dumbing down, glossing over, and most egregious of all, removing entire chunks of the actual science the work contained. Their third mistake was being political. As a Frenchman, Mr. Verne was not exactly enamored with Great Britain or America and this showed through in his work. The translators altered or removed this. If you have a Jules Verne book in English that doesn't cite a translator, throw it away. It's done by these early boneheaded translators.
It wasn't until around the 1960s that people began to say "Hey, maybe we shouldn't be such complete dipshits and actually translate this great writer CORRECTLY."
I have an old copy of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea by the original translators that I keep around for comic relief. It doesn't say who translated it, probably to save the descendants from embarrassment. It's pretty fun to look at in light of my complete and annotated version, done by Miller and Walter. (Highly recommended by the way. Here it is, cheap as hell). One of my favorite parts to chuckle at has to do with the geological formation known as the Nebraska Badlands. Miller and Walter translate it correctly as "the Nebraska Badlands." The boneheads have "the disagreeable land of Nebraska." Trust me, that ain't the end of it. On and on it goes.
If you love Verne, you'll love him even more if you read modern translations.
CERTIFIED MAIL
Are these people serious? It's never anything good. When I get certified mail, whoosh!, into the trash it goes. It's never oh, please Mister Kindt, come sign for the 40,000 bucks you dropped at the Harvey Danger concert back in '98. I didn't even have 40 bucks back in '98, let alone 40,000. (Spent it on Harvey Danger tickets and beer). So please, get out of my mail box.
And unknown numbers. Who the fuck even answers these? Seriously.
Paranoia, paranoia
Everybody's comin' to get me
Just say you never met me
I'm runnin' underground with the moles
Diggin' holes
Hear the voices in my head
I swear to God it sounds like they're snoring
But if you're bored then you're boring
The agony and the irony, they're killing me
Burning Muse: Personal Project
Hey guys, I decided to start a side project. Here is the FAQ and link. I am going to continue the Tiny Reviews on the new blog, but if your review has already been written, I'll keep a link to it on my personal page. Please follow this blog if it sounds interesting to you [or if you like Tiny Reviews. Please share with others. Thanks!]:
[Link]
1. What is Burning Muse?
We do not follow ANY writers. We will pull directly from the #Prose and #Poetry tags [using the "show all posts" option]. We want to ensure that everyone has a fair shot.
Burning muse is dedicated to featuring the work of writers who [we feel] are talented, fresh, add to the community, and/or may have been overlooked. We understand that the Tumblr bots are not always reliable, and the Tumblr Editors—for the #Prose and #Poetry feature tags—are unpaid volunteers [who deserve our thanks!] with a lot on their collective plates.
Burning muse is not meant to undermine or criticize the editors. It's simply a nice way to expose the community to some of the fantastic members who may have slipped under the radar.1b. [Tiny Reviews]
We also provide a service called "Tiny Reviews". Unlike typical reviews, the overall goal of the Tiny Review is to synthesize a writer's body of work with how it makes us [as readers] feel.
Our function is not to critique writers. We want to highlight the overall "feeling" of a writer's page, and communicate it in a non-traditional way [such as in prose or story form]. We hope we can help you connect a broader audience—without having to worry that we will publicly humiliate you.
You can request your own Tiny Review [we will not review your blog without your permission]: HERE
Please Note: Depending on the number of requests, your review may not be completed for at least a few months. We only accept "active" Tumblr pages that are generating new material to add to the community.
We will make sure to alert you when your review has been posted.
Thank you in advance for your patience. Mutiple submissions [of the same request] will be deleted.
2. How do I get featured on Burning Muse?
We'll find you. ;) You don't even have to tag your writing any differently.
3. Can I nominate a writer, or specific piece?
Yes. You can make nominations by going: HERE
4. Can I ask a question?
Sure! You can ask a question by going: HERE
5. Is there a staff?
Editor - Noelle aka amoralfictionalism [Link]
[Please keep in mind that I am also a writer myself, and while I am very passionate about this idea, I am doing it as a side project.]
November 3, 2011
Cartoonist Susie Cagle arrested last night in Oakland.
Here's the article by her father, Daryl Cagle, who runs the Cagle Post, for which I am a columnist. Also, here's her Twitter feed of the events. You can see her art here.
shanoops said: I don't normally respond to internet stupidity, but that "review" made me really...
shanoops said: I don't normally respond to internet stupidity, but that "review" made me really angry. It's actually not a review at all, but a protracted opinion.
Yeah, but I don't really mind. The guy is almost comically sophomoric, so I don't really care to discuss anything with him. If that's the role he has decided to play on Tumblr, I feel sorry for him. I will be a writer and move on. Pompous, know-it-all dipshits are a dime a dozen on the internet and, oh look, here's another one. I am able to support myself (barely) by writing and I'm sure his mother hopes the same for him one day.
November 2, 2011
My Geek Squad Experience
I know you guys are all sitting on the...
My Geek Squad Experience
I know you guys are all sitting on the edge of your seats wondering "When is Mike going to tell us about his Geek Squad Experience?"
Well, here it is.
A long time ago I lived in a great big blue house and owned a computer. I had, like a person with brain damage, bought the computer at Best Buy, which owns Geek Squad. For those of you who don't know, the Geek Squad is a computer repair outfit that does house calls. Since it's owned by Best Buy, and since it makes money by repairing computers, Best Buy sells a lot of "broken" computers. They aren't really broken, but they are programmed with glitches that can, seemingly, only be fixed by the Geek Squad.
It's a helluva business plan, I tell ya, deeply American in nature and guaranteed to provide profit.
So my computer wasn't broken at first, but about 3 days after I got it home, the little timer in the glitch program went off and the glitch started happening. For no reason, the damn thing began shutting off. Yep, it would just shut itself off. BLIP! I'd be in the middle of looking at porn or reading about prestidigitation on Wikipedia or something and BLIP! off it would shut.
So I'd restart it, only to have it shut off later, sometimes minutes later, sometimes hours. There was a randomizer in the glitch program, you see.
Once the glitch started happening, it never stopped. It would shut off anywhere from 3 to 15 times in a day, annoying me to no end. Seriously, it was fucking annoying, especially when I was doing something that needed saving, like, oh I don't know, WRITING.
I call up the Geek Squad and lo and behold they showed up the next day in their stupid car. Actually, it wasn't a whole squad, but some guy named Rick.
"I'm Rick," the guy said when I let him him, so that's how I know.
For hours he was in my office dicking around with the computer. Hours. Like 4 fucking hours.
Finally, he comes out to the living room and says he can't fix it, that he'll be back tomorrow with another guy. Apparently, pretending to fix a computer that's not really broken is a job for two.
The bill was $104.06. I still have it to this day.
We agreed on a time for Rick and his partner to return the next day and off he went into the sunset, an employee of Everything That's Wrong With American Capitalism, Inc.
Sure enough, the next day, Rick and his partner showed up right on time. They knocked on the door, but I ignored them. I peeked at them through the curtains until they went away, confused.
Then I went to the yellow pages and called up a local guy whose name was, get this, Flint Muhlhausen. I'm dead serious and, yes, I chose him because of his name.
Flint Muhlhausen (pronounced, delightfully, Mule Housin') was at my place inside 20 minutes and had my computer up and running smoothly within an hour. The bill was around 30 bucks. I don't have it to this day because I paid it.
As he was leaving, Flint Muhlhausen gave me his card and a stern warning to never, NEVER do business with Best Buy or the Geek Squad again.
And that is part of the reason why my credit score is so low. The end.
Now go to bed. You guys have school in the morning.
I call this piece Drunk On A Porch In The Fall. Feel free to be...
I call this piece Drunk On A Porch In The Fall. Feel free to be awed by my photographic artistry.
Mr. Goldwater foreshadows the early 21st century and the coup...
Mr. Goldwater foreshadows the early 21st century and the coup that destroyed the American Right.
