Josh McDowell's Blog, page 21
March 3, 2020
How to Have Peace In Suffering
I lost my loving mother when I was 7 years old. She was still present with us, but after brain surgery to remove a tumor, her fun-loving nature and ability to closely connect with us was lost forever. She died just days before I turned 16. The sadness, fear, and abandonment I felt from this loss ushered in the first significant chapter of suffering I would experience in my life.
It was not to be the last.
“Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you.” ~Psalm 55:22
Bridging the Gap blog #hurthealedwhole
For 50+ years, Josh McDowell Ministry has been leading seekers into a deeper knowledge of God’s truth and power. We offer you our accumulated knowledge and research to help you find truth and encouragement to live a healthy and whole life in Christ.
Trusting Jesus Brings Peace
In this world we see others suffering around us. We experience it ourselves, sometimes as part of our daily lives. Jesus, aware of what His disciples would suffer, comforted them by saying, “These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).
Looking back, I can say that I’ve grown stronger as a result of the significant trials I’ve had to walk through. But in the midst of some of my most difficult days, I didn’t feel peace. Over time, I realized this was a result of my failure to cast my cares upon Him, not His failure to be there.
Philippians 4:6-7 states this promise: “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
This scripture affirms that it is not within ourselves that we find peace during suffering, but through Jesus by prayer, supplication, and thanksgiving.
As I walked through the trauma of losing my mom, as well as other trials and suffering, I’ve learned to apply Philippians 4:6-7 to all of my circumstances. As a result, I have experienced “the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension.” Growing stronger over time, this peace is a result of trusting God in the midst of really tough situations. The more I give my struggles over to Him, the more I see His work in my life.
Philippians 4:6-7 breaks down the steps we can take to cast our burdens upon the Lord. Through this process, the peace of God will guard our hearts and minds in Jesus.
NEXT STEPS:
Do you want to have a relationship with Jesus? Start here.
Catch up on our Journey Together posts. Experience God in a deeper way!
We invite you to read Josh’s book, More Than a Carpenter. This short apologetics classic examines evidence about Jesus.
Jen is a presentation specialist with Josh McDowell Ministry.
The post How to Have Peace In Suffering appeared first on Josh.org.
February 26, 2020
Should Apologists Quote the Bible When Trying to Prove it?
The answer to that? Yes and no.
Sometimes people try to prove the Bible is true by using what the Bible says concerning itself. 2 Timothy 3:16-17, for example, says that all Scripture is breathed out by God. This is a useful verse for theological purposes, but we would spin into circular reasoning if we tried to use it as proof for the Bible’s authority.
However, there is a right way to quote the Bible in order to make a case for it. It is the process used by apologists called internal evidence .
Internal evidence continues to vet the Bible’s historical reliability.
Imagine that you are in a courtroom, listening to an eyewitness provide testimony. The jury must determine if the man’s story is true, based (in part) on what he says. To help the jury reach a verdict, the lawyers on the case ask questions about his story, in search of internal evidence: Does the story contradict itself? Does the story contradict other stories? Does the story omit difficult details? Does the story mention people and places that can be verified? The man’s testimony is then compared to testimony provided by others, to ferret out the truth.
The same methodology can be applied to the Bible, particularly with the stories of Jesus provided in the gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. These disciples were very careful to include details in their narratives that could be verified by people alive at the time the disciples were teaching.
Not even the Jewish leaders responsible for Jesus’ crucifixion rejected their teaching that Jesus died on the cross, or that He was buried in a tomb guarded by Roman soldiers. Nor could the leaders produce His body, to stall the disciple’s claims that Jesus resurrected, when Jesus was reported to be seen over the next 40 days in His resurrected form.
Apologists Use Internal Evidence to Prove the Bible Reliable
Internal evidence assumes that any document is considered innocent until errors prove it unreliable. A bread recipe is trustworthy when it produces a delicious loaf of bread. An apology letter is sincere, until the apologizer repeats the offense. Similarly, the Bible’s historical details continue to be confirmed as legit.
Listen to Josh explain the process of internal evidence in these two short videos titled “Internal Evidence Test” and “Innocent Until Proven Unreliable.”
To place the Bible under scrutiny, we have to know what it says. You can get up to speed on how the Bible has proven its reliability by reviewing our blog series based on Josh’s apologetics classic, Evidence That Demands a Verdict.
In order to speak with authority and power, we have to know what we’re talking about. For more reasons to confidently believe in the claims of the Bible, God, and Christianity, check out two reliable books by Josh and Sean McDowell: 77 FAQs about God and the Bible and Evidence That Demands a Verdict.
NEXT STEPS
Want answers to more questions like this? Check out this page of our website.
Interested in knowing God personally? Get started with this really good info.
Need prayer? Contact us. We would love to pray for you!
Matthew Tingblad is a communicator at Josh McDowell Ministry with a seminary education from Talbot School of Theology.
The post Should Apologists Quote the Bible When Trying to Prove it? appeared first on Josh.org.
February 25, 2020
Love Lost its Beauty
She came to me for safety and protection. But as I heard her story, I felt no emotion. Does that sound off to you? I mean, big brothers are supposed to be protective of their sisters, right? But in hearing that some guy had tried to kiss my sister, I honestly felt nothing. I remember thinking, “What’s the big deal? It’s just a kiss.”
My years of watching pornography had desensitized me to healthy love. Love lost its beauty.
For 50+ years, Josh McDowell Ministry has been leading seekers into a deeper knowledge of God’s truth and power. We offer you our accumulated knowledge and research to help you find truth and encouragement to live a healthy and whole life in Christ.
Love: A Chemical Reaction?
When I first heard Josh McDowell speak on love, he claimed that it’s just a chemical reaction. That didn’t sit right with me, as I thought love was the good feeling we get when we really like someone. It felt like the word “chemical” took the emotion out of it.
But Josh is right; we feel the emotion of love because of a chemical response. When we feel incredible joy, excitement, or sadness, it’s because of a release of chemicals in our brains.
Take the chemical, dopamine, for example. Dopamine is known as a pleasure chemical. When we satisfy a craving for hunger, or are complimented for doing something well, this feel-good chemical is released in our brains. This makes us feel great. Likewise, when we kiss, hug, or have sex, dopamine is released.
Many mental health disorders are linked to too much or too little dopamine in different parts of the brain. Dopamine can fuel addiction.
The Big Problem
But here’s an interesting fact: the chemicals in our brains that produce bonding, good feelings, or love, are morally neutral. That’s right, the chemicals in your brain lack a moral code. That means they don’t know the difference between sex in a loving marriage relationship — or rape.
Which is why we have to tell our brains what is and is not acceptable. What is right and what is wrong. Otherwise dopamine and other chemicals will have free reign to lead us where we have no business going — whether that’s consuming too many Girl Scout cookies in one sitting, or developing a habit of porn.
I remember the first time I saw porn. It was in my neighbor’s basement. I was in kindergarten. I felt repulsed — as I should have. But in choosing to return to porn years later, those repulsive images became pleasurable to me.
Repeated porn viewing creates an addiction to see more. As the dopamine overpowered my repulsion, I began to associate pornography with pleasure. My brain was being rewired and desensitized. I allowed this ugly habit to grow bigger because seeing the graphic images felt good — even though I knew, from my Christian upbringing, that it wasn’t good for me.
Our brains like pleasure. So if something feels good, we tend to return to it for more of that good feeling. Perhaps even porn, if we don’t say no.
After gaining pleasure from seeing so many horrific pornographic images, my brain viewed porn as normal. So, by the time my sister came running to me for empathy, I had none to give her. Watching porn had totally skewed my view of physical touch.
I had begun to think of women as objects for my pleasure, and that sexual acts outside of marriage weren’t all that bad. This became scary to me, because my parents had raised me with this truth: sex is God’s beautiful design to cement a couple’s love inside of marriage.
How’s your view of sex and love? Ask yourself these questions:
Are you watching porn? If you are, know that you are being desensitized to healthy love every time you view it.
Do you feel tension or conviction when you read God’s Word, or hear about a biblical model for sexuality? If so, there is conflict in your view of sexuality.
Are you repulsed when you see sexual content outside of a biblical view of sexuality? If so, love may have lost its beauty for you.
The Healthy Solution
God created our emotions and ability to experience love in the context of His design. He also created our brains with the ability to learn — and unlearn. We can be desensitized to our addictions, even a strong addiction like pornography.
In Romans 12:2, Paul states, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” Our brains can return to a state of health, by what we feed it, so that we gain a healthy, biblical view of sex and love.
I’m not going to lie: this renewal of the mind takes hard work. We get there by daily starving the unwanted behaviors, thoughts, or beliefs in our head, and replacing them with healthy ones. I know this to be true because I have personally experienced this transformation. I have spent the past three years pursuing health and freedom from my porn addiction. Today, I can truthfully say that I am free of it and have found health.
When my sister and I now speak of this old memory, she clearly remembers the numb expression on my face. I regret not being there for her. If she came running up to her big brother today, would my response be different? Yes!
Now I would be able to feel her hurt and embarrassment and be there to console her. And if I am honest, I might have to go deal with that magician. After my experience with porn, I don’t want anyone to have the opportunity to cheapen love or physical touch for her.
Porn desensitized my brain to see women as objects. But now I see each person on this planet as loved and cherished by God. And I can now clearly see that His design for sex and love is very good, because it is healthy, selfless, and affirming.
I am deeply grateful that, for me, love has no longer lost its beauty. The pleasure I found in porn was a very ugly substitute.
I’d love to know your thoughts on this topic. Please share your comments below.
Porn turns people into objects. Porn turns sex into self-pleasure. Porn causes love to lose its beauty.
NEXT STEPS:
In this video, Sean McDowell asks, “What is the best definition of love?“
In this post, Ben Bennett answers the question, “How do we overcome the shame caused by desensitization?“
Please read my article “Living in Freedom From Addiction.“
How does porn affect our brains? Check out Josh’s research in “ The Porn Epidemic.”
Interested in a list of ministries that help people to overcome porn? Click here.
AUSTIN IS PART OF THE SPEAKING TEAM AT JOSH MCDOWELL MINISTRY.
The post Love Lost its Beauty appeared first on Josh.org.
February 23, 2020
Happy, Loving People
Happy, loving people are people who share the most love.
“Make every effort to apply the benefits of these promises to your life.” 2 Peter 1:5
Bridging the Gap blog #hurthealedwhole
For 50+ years, Josh McDowell Ministry has been leading seekers into a deeper knowledge of God’s truth and power. We offer you our accumulated knowledge and research to help you find truth and encouragement to live a healthy and whole life in Christ.
Happy, Loving People?
Would any of these famous, powerful, and wealthy people make the list of the happiest people in the history of the world?
Adolph Hitler
Joseph Stalin
Queen Jezebel
Nero
Not quite. And for one very good reason: Their lives were characterized by hate, and a hateful person is never a happy person. Think about it. The happiest people you know are those who love other people. That’s the way it works.
God commands us to love one another because He knows that hate diminishes our ability to love, and love expands it. He knows that people who act in love experience love twice: once when they give it away, and again when they receive it back. He knows that happy, loving people radiate love, which brings His light and joy to the world.
When we choose to obey God, and focus on reflecting His love to others, He blesses us with joy and happiness. God is always pleased when we focus on loving others.
REFLECT: Who are the happiest people you know? Are their lives characterized by hate or love?
ACT: Do something loving for a friend or family member, and note how it makes you feel.
PRAY: “Your love for me, God, makes me happy. And sharing Your love with others makes me happy because it pleases You. Help me to grow in my ability to selflessly love others. Help people to see Your reflection in me, so that I can tell them about Your love.”
NEXT STEPS:
Join us in our February Bridging the Gap posts as we explore the topic of love.
Do we really know what “love” is, and how to show it?
Catch up on our Journey Together posts. Experience God in a deeper way!
Learn how to begin a personal relationship with God. Start here .
Adapted from, Love Can Make You Happy , February 14, One-Year Book of Josh McDowell’s Youth Devotions . © 1996, 2003, 2019 Josh McDowell Ministry. All rights reserved. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996. Used by permission.
The post Happy, Loving People appeared first on Josh.org.
Display God’s Love
God makes it clear that we are to display God’s love, even to those who are mean and hateful to us.
You have heard that the law of Moses says, “Love your neighbor” and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:43-45
Bridging the Gap blog #hurthealedwhole
For 50+ years, Josh McDowell Ministry has been leading seekers into a deeper knowledge of God’s truth and power. We offer you our accumulated knowledge and research to help you find truth and encouragement to live a healthy and whole life in Christ.
Display God’s Love
The following story is a variation on a tale that has been told by Jewish rabbis for centuries.
Raybann and Soloplex, two of heaven’s angels, exchanged high fives and peered together at the scene below them. The Israelites stood, high and dry, on the banks of the Red Sea. They had just crossed to freedom and safety as the two mighty angels, under instructions from God, had rolled back the waters of the sea. Once God’s chosen people had safely reached the opposite shore, the angels released the water and the entire pursuing Egyptian army had drowned, along with their horses.
Upon returning to heaven to make their report, the angels found God’s face dimmed.
“Is the Holy One not pleased with our success?” Raybann asked, bowing low before God’s throne.
“You rejoiced at the death of the Egyptians,” God replied. It was not a question.
“Your people are delivered, and their enemies are dashed to pieces,” Soloplex added.
God looked at His two messengers, and the sorrow in His expression turned their white robes to gray. “The work of my hands is sunk in the sea,” He thundered, “and you rejoiced!”
Although Pharaoh and his armies sought to enslave—even destroy—God’s chosen people, yet God loved them, just as He loves all His creation.
REFLECT: Have you ever rejoiced at the fall of an enemy? Do you think Jesus’ command to “love your enemies” means that you have the right to feel happy when they fall? Or should you mourn, as God does? God asks us to showcase His love, even to those who are mean and hateful to us.
PRAY: “God, thank you for your love and for reminding me that love is always right. Help me especially to love_______________________ today, and to see them as You do. Help me to love them like You do.”
NEXT STEPS:
Join us in our February Bridging the Gap posts as we explore the topic of love.
Do we really know what “love” is, and how to show it?
Enjoy this daily devotion? Sign up today to start getting it in your inbox.
Learn how to begin a personal relationship with God, so that you learn about His love for you (and that person you can’t stand). Start here .
Adapted from One-Year Book of Josh McDowell’s Youth Devotions , February 11. © 1996, 2003, 2019 Josh McDowell Ministry. All rights reserved. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996. Used by permission.
The post Display God’s Love appeared first on Josh.org.
February 20, 2020
Why Believe in God if I Can’t Feel, Hear, or See Him?
We believe in many things that can’t be felt, seen, or heard. Consider the following. We believe in:
Scientific theories, such as the Theory of Relativity.
Certain things about the future, including that the sun will rise tomorrow.
Certain things about the past, including that George Washington was our first president.
Mathematical proofs, such as 2+2=4.
Moral standards, including that racism is hurtful.
We believe in them because we recognize that not all knowledge comes from the senses. To add another item particularly relevant to God, we even believe in the existence of certain things we can’t sense, such as quarks or dark matter.
Sometimes we believe in things because of logic or intuition. Sometimes because the evidence makes it likely or necessary. And sometimes because we trust the source or person speaking about them.
We can believe in God for similar reasons:
God makes sense out of the origin of our universe (the cosmological argument for the existence of God).
God makes sense out of the precise way in which our universe is organized to support life (the fine-tuning argument for the existence of God).
God makes sense out of the origin for our moral intuitions (the moral argument for the existence of God).
We may not be able to feel, hear, or see God, but we can still come to believe in God’s existence through many avenues of reason. The Bible touches on this in Romans 1:20, which states,
“For his invisible attributes, namely, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse.”
For more reasons to confidently believe in God and Christianity, check out 77 FAQs about God and the Bible by Josh and Sean McDowell. To dive deep into the historical validation of Christianity, also study their apologetics classic, Evidence That Demands a Verdict.
NEXT STEPS
Interested in knowing God personally? Get started with this really good info.
Need prayer? Contact us. We would love to pray for you!
Matthew Tingblad is concluding his seminary studies. He will soon join the Josh McDowell Ministry speaking team.
The post Why Believe in God if I Can’t Feel, Hear, or See Him? appeared first on Josh.org.
February 18, 2020
The Good Gift
I’ve always been a sucker for a romantic comedy. I watch Hallmark movies all throughout the Christmas season because I love their neatly packaged happy endings. I’d love to have that happy ever after for myself. Alas, I have remained the side character in the romantic comedy; the girl who makes everyone laugh and helps her best friends find their true love.
Now I’m in my thirties, and instead of wondering “How long must I wait?,” I’ve asked a new question.
Bridging the Gap blog #hurthealedwhole
For 50+ years, Josh McDowell Ministry has been leading seekers into a deeper knowledge of God’s truth and power. We offer you our accumulated knowledge and research to help you find truth and encouragement to live a healthy and whole life in Christ.
IS GOD TRUSTWORTHY?
And that question is, “Do I trust that God is always good and only gives me good gifts, as His Word promises?”
As I wrestled with this, I came to this revelation: My singleness isn’t a bad thing, because God always gives me what is best. I must emphasize that this realization did not come to me overnight, nor in a burning bush. It came through years of struggle, heart ache, tears, and prayers about being single.
Here are the things I know to be true about God: He is ALWAYS Good. He gives GOOD gifts to His children. He is ALWAYS loyal, faithful, loving, and kind toward us.
Scripture declares these promises:
Psalm 32:11: “So celebrate the goodness of God! He shows this kindness to everyone who is His.”
Nehemiah 9:20: “You gave your good Spirit to instruct them. You did not withhold your manna from their mouths, and you gave them water for their thirst.”
Psalm 100:5: “For the Lord is always good and ready to receive you. He’s so loving that it will amaze you, so kind that it will astound you! And He is famous for his faithfulness toward all. Everyone knows our God can be trusted, for he keeps his promises to every generation.”
If these verses are all true (Spoiler, they are), then it means my good, loyal, loving, and kind Heavenly Father has deemed that a husband is NOT a good gift for me right now. So it’s okay that I’m single! I know that sounds crazy coming from a girl who cries at happy endings.
But the more I walk with Jesus, the more I want His best for me. I trust that God will bring me a spouse if and when it is HIS good gift for me. Right now; however, He has given me a beautiful gift of singleness.
THE PRESSURE TO CONFORM
Another thing I’ve realized: people don’t know know how to respond to adult singles. Not our families, friends, and co-workers, and not the Church.
The Church is used to the cultural norm in which people marry in their twenties and start having babies. So, when someone doesn’t fit into the norm, the Church isn’t quite sure where to place them. Young adults ministry is too young, and the older singles are too old. It’s not for lack of care or love for its people. They recognize the problem, but they just don’t know what the solution is.
The Church has taught me to wait on the Lord and as I have wrestled with how to wait well, I’ve come to this revelation: STOP WAITING and START LIVING LIFE in the abundance God gives freely.
Pastors aren’t the only ones stumped with what to do with older singles. I recognize that people, in general, have the best of intentions when they say things to me like, “It will happen when you least expect it!” and “Have you tried online dating?” It’s 2020, people! Of course I’ve tried online dating…
Their comments, while meant in love, are void of the power of God. It’s uncomfortable for them to think that God might be writing a different, unique story for me.
THE ULTIMATE HAPPY ENDING
We all must remember that our best gift and happy ending is not in gaining a spouse. It’s in one day meeting Jesus face-to-face, and staying in perfect relationship with Him for eternity! That’s the ultimate happy ending!
Scripture reminds us that:
James 1:17: “Every gift God freely gives us is good and perfect, streaming down from the Father of lights, who shines from the heavens with no hidden shadow or darkness and is never subject to change.”
1 Corinthians 7:17: “Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them.”
Our season of being single is simply God’s gift to us to experience deep intimacy and fulfillment in Him.
RECEIVE THE GOOD GIFT
I still live with the expectant hope of a spouse, as God has not removed my desire. If it remains your desire as well, I encourage you to keep praying and believing for a spouse.
Sometimes, I forget how blessed I am where God has me and wish He would bring me a husband. But the reality is that Scripture does NOT PROMISE marriage.
So, I have to stop waiting around for it and live in the abundance God has for me. I’m going to daily lay my desires at the feet of Jesus, praying with faith that He will provide me with all the good gifts He has for me. But I am not going to let life pass me by.
I will never give up on living an adventure with the Lord. I will LIVE in full abundance every day, whether my singleness lasts for months, years, or until my last breath.
I hope you will, too. Let us press into the presence of God, abiding with Him as we live in the fullness His Word promises.
Whatever season we’re in, single or not, God wants us to live life to the fullest. It is our current leading role. Let’s do it well.
LIVING IN ABUNDANCE
Here are a few ways to help you LIVE the abundant life God has for you:
Get HEALTHY: Spend some time with the Lord and ask Him to reveal areas in your life where old hurts and unhealthy habits are keeping you from freedom. Sometimes we find ourselves walking around so wounded that we wouldn’t recognize a gift from the Lord if it hit us between the eyes. Perhaps we need to seek counseling? Or find a trustworthy mentor in our church that will speak God’s truth into our lives?
Set BOUNDARIES: As a single person in the church, I can tell you from personal experience that boundaries are critical! The church has a habit of confusing the gift of singleness with the gift of volunteering. If you’re not careful, your church will suck the life right out of you because they assume you have a lot of time to give. Don’t make yourself available for every volunteer need in your church, or you’ll burn out.
Do THE THINGS!: Each year, I ask the Lord for a word. He recently whispered to my spirit, “Do the things.” If we live in a “waiting” mindset, we run the risk of stalling out. So get moving! Choose ONE thing on your bucket list, and GO DO IT! Maybe it’s buying a house, starting your own business, following your dream of ministry, or traveling (Yes, please!). Time is too precious to wait on another person to go do things.
OPEN the Gifts: It’s like Christmas time has come and gone, and you’ve left beautifully wrapped gifts under the tree. Open them to see what God has for you in your singleness. Spend time with the Lord in His Word to discover where He might be guiding you to spend your energy and time.
NEXT STEPS:
Do you have a relationship with Jesus? Start here.
A helpful article, “Single, But Still Complete,” by Pastor Tony Evans.
Check out this article, too: “Why I’m Still Single This Valentine’s Day.”
Listen to Dr. Henry Cloud talk about The Gift of Singleness.
I’d love to know your thoughts on singleness. Share your comments below!
ASHLEY IS PART OF THE DEVELOPMENT TEAM AT JOSH MCDOWELL MINISTRY.
The post The Good Gift appeared first on Josh.org.
February 17, 2020
The Gift of Singleness
I was, and still am, a sucker for a romantic comedy. I watch Hallmark movies all throughout the Christmas season because I love their neatly packaged happy endings. I yearn for that happy relationship and marriage for myself. Alas, I have remained the side character in the romantic comedy; the single gal who helps her best friends to find their true loves.
Now in my thirties, I often wonder, “Where is my Prince Charming? But lately I’ve decided there’s a better question to ask myself.
Bridging the Gap blog #hurthealedwhole
For 50+ years, Josh McDowell Ministry has been leading seekers into a deeper knowledge of God’s truth and power. We offer you our accumulated knowledge and research to help you find truth and encouragement to live a healthy and whole life in Christ.
Singleness a Gift? Hmmm…
And that question is, “Do I trust that God always brings me His best gifts, as His Word promises?”
As I wrestled with this, I came to this revelation: My singleness isn’t a bad thing, because God always gives me what is best. I must emphasize that this realization did not come to me overnight, nor in a burning bush. It came through years of struggle, heart ache, tears, and prayers about being single.
Here are the things I know to be true about God: He is ALWAYS Good. He gives GOOD gifts to His children. He is ALWAYS loyal, faithful, loving, and kind toward us.
Scripture declares these promises:
Psalm 32:11: “So celebrate the goodness of God! He shows this kindness to everyone who is His.”
Nehemiah 9:20: “You gave your good Spirit to instruct them. You did not withhold your manna from their mouths, and you gave them water for their thirst.”
Psalm 100:5: “For the Lord is always good and ready to receive you. He’s so loving that it will amaze you, so kind that it will astound you! And He is famous for his faithfulness toward all. Everyone knows our God can be trusted, for he keeps his promises to every generation.”
My good, loyal, loving, and kind Heavenly Father has deemed that a husband is NOT a good gift for me right now. So it’s okay that I’m single! I know that sounds crazy coming from a gal who cries at happy endings.
But the more I walk with Jesus, the more I want His best for me. I trust that God will bring my spouse if and when it is HIS good gift for me. Right now, however, He has given me the beautiful GIFT OF SINGLENESS.
Feeling The Anxiety
Another thing I’ve realized: people don’t know know how to respond to older singles. Not our families, friends, and co-workers, and not the Church.
The Church is used to the cultural norm in which people marry in their twenties and start having babies. So the young adults ministry is too young for us, and the older singles are too old. And single parents need a whole different community.
In trying to be helpful, the Church has basically told me to wait on the Lord for my spouse. Once married, I’ll have a tidy place to fit in, as every church has marriage and family ministries.
Pastors aren’t the only ones stumped with what to do with older singles. I recognize that people, in general, have the best of intentions when they say things to me like, “It will happen when you least expect it!” and “Have you tried online dating?” It’s 2020, people! Of course I’ve tried online dating…
Their comments, while meant in love, are void of the power of God. It’s uncomfortable for them to think that through singleness, God might be writing a different, unique story for me.
But Trusting God
We all must remember that our best gift and happy ending is not in gaining a spouse. It’s in one day meeting Jesus face-to-face, and residing in perfect relationship with Him for eternity! So God has a good and beautiful story for me on this earth, with or without a spouse.
Scripture reminds us that:
James 1:17: “Every gift God freely gives us is good and perfect, streaming down from the Father of lights, who shines from the heavens with no hidden shadow or darkness and is never subject to change.”
1 Corinthians 7:17: “Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them.”
Sure, I sometimes forget to be grateful, when I fixate on wanting to be married. But the reality is that Scripture does NOT PROMISE marriage. So I need to STOP WAITING for my prince, and LIVE in the abundance God has for me in my singleness.
Expect God’s Best Gifts
I still live with the expectant hope of a spouse, as God has not removed my desire. If it remains your desire as well, I encourage you to keep praying and believing for a spouse. Don’t think that your desire to be married is bad, or selfish.
Our season of being single is simply God’s gift to us to experience deep intimacy and fulfillment in Him.
So I’m going to daily lay my desires at the feet of Jesus, praying with faith that He will provide me with all the good gifts He has for me. But I am not going to let life pass me by. I am going to get out there and LIVE in full abundance every day, whether my singleness lasts for months, years, or until my last breath.
I hope you will, too. Let us press into the presence of God, abiding with Him as we live in the fullness His Word promises.
Whatever season we’re in, God wants us to live life to the fullest. It’s okay that we’re still single! It is our current leading role. Let’s do it well.
I’d love to know your thoughts on singleness. Share your comments below!
Tips for Living in Abundance
Here are a few ways to help you LIVE with an attitude of the abundant life God has for you:
Get HEALTHY: Spend some time with the Lord and ask Him to reveal areas in your life where old hurts and unhealthy habits are keeping you from freedom. Sometimes we find ourselves walking around so wounded that we wouldn’t recognize a gift from the Lord if it hit us between the eyes. Perhaps we need to seek counseling? Or find a trustworthy mentor in our church that will speak God’s truth into our lives?
Set BOUNDARIES: As a single person in the church, I can tell you from personal experience that boundaries are critical! The church has a habit of confusing the gift of singleness with the gift of volunteering. If you’re not careful, your church will suck the life right out of you because they assume you have a lot of time to give. Don’t make yourself available for every volunteer need in your church, or you’ll burn out.
Do THE THINGS!: Each year, I ask the Lord for a word. He recently whispered to my spirit, “Do the things.” If we live in a “waiting” mindset, we run the risk of stalling out. Gals, we do NOT need a spouse to do the things! So get moving! Choose ONE thing on your bucket list, and GO DO IT! Maybe it’s buying a house, starting your own business, following your dream of ministry, or traveling (Yes, please!). Time is too precious to wait on another person to go do things.
OPEN the Gifts: It’s like Christmas time has come and gone, and you’ve left beautifully wrapped gifts under the tree. Open them to see what God has for you in your singleness. Spend time with the Lord in His Word to discover where He might be guiding you to spend your energy and time.
NEXT STEPS:
Do you have a relationship with Jesus? Start here.
A helpful article, “Single, But Still Complete” by Pastor Tony Evans.
Check out this article, too: “Why I’m Still Single This Valentine’s Day.”
Listen to Dr. Henry Cloud talk about The Gift of Singleness.
ASHLEY IS PART OF THE DEVELOPMENT TEAM AT JOSH MCDOWELL MINISTRY.
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February 16, 2020
Love: Theme of Life
Jesus’ words and life make it clear that love is always right. It is right for all people, for all places, and for all times.
Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself All the other commandments and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40
Bridging the Gap blog #hurthealedwhole
For 50+ years, Josh McDowell Ministry has been leading seekers into a deeper knowledge of God’s truth and power. We offer you our accumulated knowledge and research to help you find truth and encouragement to live a healthy and whole life in Christ.
Love: Theme of Life
If your life was depicted in a TV show what would it be like? Friends? The Brady Bunch? The Office?
Jesus’ entire life could be themed and titled Love. It’s the essence of who He is.
That’s why Jesus commands us to love. The Bible records Jesus saying,
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:34-35, NIV).
Love was the center of everything Jesus did here on earth. He left heaven because of love. He became a man, to experience our humanity, because of love. He filled His life with doing good, because of love. He willingly died for us because of His amazing love. And in resurrecting, He guaranteed that we get to spend eternity in His loving presence.
How are you doing at loving like Jesus?
ACT: The next time you hear a love song, remember the theme of Jesus’ life: love.
PRAY: “Father, I want to love you with my whole heart, soul, mind, and strength. And I want to love the people around me, too. This week help me to show love to_______________________, so that they see You in me, and I can tell them about Your love.”
NEXT STEPS:
Join us in our February Bridging the Gap posts as we explore the topic of love.
Do we really know what “love” is, and how to show it?
Enjoy this daily devotion? Sign up today to start getting it in your inbox.
Learn how to begin a personal relationship with God, so that you learn about His love for you (and that person you can’t stand). Start here .
Adapted from Your So-Called Life , February 12, One-Year Book of Josh McDowell’s Youth Devotions , February 11. © 1996, 2003, 2019 Josh McDowell Ministry. All rights reserved. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996. Used by permission.
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February 13, 2020
Saving Her First Kiss
I have always enjoyed a close relationship with my daughter, but I often depended on my wife to prompt me on “girl” things to discuss with her. One morning over breakfast, I found myself asking my then 8th grade daughter a question that unexpectedly popped into my mind.
Bridging the Gap blog #hurthealedwhole
For 50+ years, Josh McDowell Ministry has been leading seekers into a deeper knowledge of God’s truth and power. We offer you our accumulated knowledge and research to help you find truth and encouragement to live a healthy and whole life in Christ.
Saving Her First Kiss
“Sweetheart,” I asked, “what will you do when a boy asks you to kiss him?”
Frankly, I was surprised that the question came out of my mouth. But I was even more surprised and amused by her answer. “Dad,” she replied, “I’ll slap him.” I laughed, and she laughed, though I did state that I wasn’t sure that slapping him would be the best approach.
I think this particular conversation with my daughter has stuck with me over the years because my question led us to have a very significant and honest conversation that God clearly wanted us to have.
I shared with her the personal story of my first kiss, which was with her mother. I had made the decision, I told her, to wait to have my first kiss within the context of a meaningful and God-honoring relationship. I shared that I hoped that she, too, would save her first kiss for a special time and a special person. We chatted about demonstrating affection, and that a kiss is a significant way of doing so.
Setting a Biblical Standard
In guiding her to a biblical basis, I shared with her how the apostle Paul, in 2 Timothy 2:22, helped to guide me in this area. “So flee from youthful passions,” he wrote, “and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.”
I encouraged my precious daughter to ask God to help her to pursue relationships that honored Him and the young man she would eventually kiss.
Several days later I could see God’s hand in our impromptu conversation, when a boy did ask for a kiss. My daughter told me that she declined, confidently explaining to the boy why she wanted to save her first kiss. It melted this dad’s heart when she told me how thankful she was for our chat, as it made her realize that this boy was more interested in a kiss than in a God-honoring relationship.
Three Truths to Follow
The outcome of our conversation reminded me of the influence I can have in my children’s lives. And it committed me to these three truths:
I must have regular one-on-one time with my children, no matter their age.
I must listen carefully to the prompting of both my wife and the Holy Spirit as I have conversations with my children.
I must make sure that I keep our communication channels open, no matter how busy I am or what’s going on in each of our lives.
It makes me happy, on this holiday that celebrates love, that my daughter and I continue to have a close relationship built on authentic conversation. And that she did, in fact, save her first kiss for someone special. Now that she is a mother of three pre-teens herself, my daughter is able to confidently model the parent/child relationship we intentionally built over the years, as she shares her own godly wisdom.
NEXT STEPS:
Other helpful articles on the Josh McDowell Ministry site: “The Importance of Intact Families,” “Talking to Your Daughter About Sex,” and “The Power of Love: The Missing Link.“
Our Straight Talk parent resource pack guides you in talking to your kids about sex.
Josh’s The Father Factor book will help you to become the best dad you want to be for your children.
You also can check out our parenting research here.
Duane Zook is the CEO of Josh McDowell Ministry.
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