Gerald Dean Rice's Blog, page 60
June 3, 2013
5 #Movie Clichés #amwatching @Cracked
You’ve probably watched movies before. And you were probably struck by something on screen as being vaguely familiar even though you’d never seen that movie. But unless you are suffering from Alzheimer’s disease and were in the movie, you probably were just pimp-slapped by a cliché. Clichés are the result of lazy writers who recycle the same themes and characters to the point that parts of a story become predictable by virtue of seeing these same types over and over again. Kind of like me giving a lay definition of a word you probably already knew the meaning of. To dig myself in even deeper, clichés tend to not be based on anything realistic or identifiable except what they are derived from.
Yes, I’m looking at you. And by you, I mean me, because I’m one of–keep reading, you’ll see
The actor playing a crazed version of himself-
This seems to be a relatively new one, but it’s definitely a cliché by now. All Pacino in Jack and Jill, Matt Damon in House of Lies, or Neil Patrick Harris in any of the fifteen Harold and Kumar movies this one rocketed into cliché-hood. They’re not just ordinary people like you and me, they’re depraved, waiting for the proper arrangement of complete strangers to come along for them to hang the crazy on their sleeves.
Why It’s Time to Stop
What’s after celebrities pretending to be crazy regular people? Regular people pretending to be crazy celebrities?
Oh, never mind.
I must break this bottle/clear this desk!
Whether it’s the hero, villain, or any of the citizens of Collateral-damageville action movies are particularly susceptible to having characters who have a tendency to take their anger out on anything resting on a horizontal surface. Or after the much lamenting of a lost friend/partner/significant other they throw the bottle into a wall (always with a little left in it).
One good yodel might do the trick
Why this needs to stop
Ever get mad and throw something on the floor? What’s that, you say? Not since you were eight? Like most of us who can spell the word ‘tantrum’, you know that when you break something you have to clean it up (or pick up whatever you throw on the floor) because robot servants haven’t been invented yet to clean up after you.
I’m a girl and I’m a cop too
Especially prominent in action movies in the 80s and 90s, the tough-as-nails female cop who barges into the men’s room to confront the fellow cop who not only is stymying the investigation, but is doing it because she has a vagina, is as obnoxious as it is illegal. Maybe a little more obnoxious.
(I just wanted to write the word ‘stymy’- I just did it again!)
Notice how you never see male cops barging into the women’s room? We call those people creeps and they are promptly arrested.
Arrested for one misdemeanor charge of not putting the lid down
Why this needs to stop
Hello, didn’t you read it above? It’s illegal. And obnoxious.
The suicidal hero
This particular cliché is easier to miss and maybe that makes it only a cliché to me. But as I watch Stargate while thinking about when I’d like to see The Grey again I realize good guys who have as big a boner for killing bad guys as they do for smoking themselves (I’m talking to you, old guy from Night of the Creeps just don’t strike me as being very realistic. Even for action movies.
Why this needs to stop (if it ever actually started)
This one’s easy. The dead guy never gets the girl.
Unless he was a teenage zombie
The Mystical Negro
What do you do when you have something unexplainable that you need to have an explanation for? Why, you inject a black person who can break it down for the audience. Hollywood has been in love with trotting out folks of color who know things beyond knowing for decades. Whether it’s a zombie outbreak, a monster that’s picky about what human parts it eats, helping Patrick Swayze get it on with his girlfriend in the afterlife, or a golf caddy, black people have always been there to answer the call.
Quit that shit, ya dig?
Why It Needs to Stop
Other than being blatantly racist, it tends to attract the eye when there’s a lone person of color, like he or she is expected to know something no one possibly should be able to know. Plus, I’m going to put a hex on the next director to make a movie with such a character.
June 1, 2013
So What Should I Write About?
All this time I’ve been writing about the stuff that interests me, but I never thought to ask, what would you like me to write about? Would you like a short story, a post on writing, info on my current WIP, or something else?
Let me know with a comment on my site, a tweet @geraldrice, or a comment on the Gerald Dean Rice fan page.
May 29, 2013
Workshop!
So I just heard back from the Clinton-Macomb Library. They will be waiting for me with a projector to present to the group. Now I’m getting nervous. Apparently, there are 20 people signed up for the class. I’m excited! If you haven’t gotten your copy of How to Publish on Kindle, Smashwords, & Nook the Easy Way! yet, here’s the Amazon link: http://amzn.to/153bfK3. It’s also available on Smashwords, Nook, and Amazon UK.
May 27, 2013
Finished!
It is done. Sometime tomorrow How to Publish on Kindle, Smashwords, and Nook the Easy Way! goes live. Thank you all for joining me but it’s not done yet! Wednesday, I should be on WROM radio (still waiting on a few details) and Friday I should be on a podcast in the afternoon and on Zombiepalooza Radio Dead Again at night. I WILL be giving away a few copies on each show so stay tuned.
How to Find Places to Submit Your Work
Every author who has something to say needs a proper venue to say it. When I first started writing with the intention to publish, the only places I knew of were Cemetery Dance and Asimov’s Science Fiction. Since I’m not really a sci-fi writer I went with CD and after a grueling, 9 month process, finally got a generic rejection letter in the mail.
What could I have done differently? Had I known at the time about websites like Duotrope I would have found many more horror publishers, many of which allow dual submissions (Cemetery Dance at the time did not). But after finding the site several years later, I actually was able to locate many publishers, on-line and in-print, who eventually published my work, including the now defunct Alien Skin Magazine that actually took the care to tell me exactly what was wrong with a submission so I could correct it and resubmit. It’s also the site I used to find the publisher for The Ghost Toucher.
But now Duotrope has turned into a pay site and if you’re a newbie author like I was, it could be discouraging to have to pay for something you want to eventually make money from. But don’t fret, there are still plenty of places you can look up that provide the same service as Duotrope for free. I didn’t look these up myself, just passing along info I found through a quick Google search. If you’re where I was 10+ years ago, by all means make use of that link. Oh, and happy Memorial Day!
Don’t forget: How to Publish on Kindle, Smashwords, & Nook the Easy Way! will be out this Tuesday. Join the FB page to make sure you don’t miss out on the updates.
Want to check out my books?
May 24, 2013
May 23, 2013
May 22, 2013
May 21, 2013
#TheWalkingDead Newsletter
May 20, 2013
Dispatches From the Set – John Sanders (Props Master)
The Walking Dead’s Props Master John Sanders talks about the strangest items he’s found for the show and the new method of killing walkers that he’s got in store for Season 4.
Q: As the guy in charge of all the props, what are some staples that bear your mark?
A: The new crossbow for Daryl — I altered that one for the show. I took Norman [Reedus] to a bow range for him to shoot. I was kind of showing off with the guys there, and I was showing him some of the top-end crossbows. I let him shoot the Stryker 380, and once he shot that he had me take pictures of him and had me send them to the producers, and immediately it got in the works that we wanted him to have it. Michonne’s sword I actually helped design between Season 2 and Season 3. I used some friends of mine at United Cutlery to help me. I knew it was a huge piece in the show, so I wanted to make something really iconic and add some elements that are really closer to my heart. The triple goddess and the trinity of life; those things are important to me in my life, and close to my wife.
Q: Do you find the actors getting attached to their character’s weapons?
A: Andy [Lincoln] is very specific about the Python. He wants that gun on him every second of the day, when he can have it. He stays on set most of the time, so we pretty much let him walk around with that gun, and keep that in-character feel all day long. Norman always carries his knife all day long, same thing. And when he has the crossbow or the motorcycle, he likes to be in character, also. Michael Rooker when he died really wanted his bayonet prosthetic. Everybody wants a little memento, especially big character things, but we can’t really let them go.
Q: There are certain situations where you use rubber guns and knives. Does that mean there are particular situations when you use real knives and real guns?
Continue reading “Dispatches From the Set – John Sanders (Props Master)” »
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May 20, 2013
Who Should be the First Person to Buy Your Book?
That’s the question every author should have an answer to and so should you: it’s you. As soon as your book becomes available you should purchase a copy for a couple reasons. One, because it’s a sale. Not that this should be a business model because being your only customer is a losing proposition. Every sale adds to sales rank and you buying your own eBook gets it off the ground. Books that haven’t had a sale have no rank and thus, are invisible.
But what do people do after they read books they like? They talk about them. In this age, talking also means blogging, tweeting, Facebooking, and any other form of social media, but if you aren’t talking about your book in person you are leaving viable sales potential to fall by the wayside.
People like talking to authors. Even if you don’t write in their genre, being an author still has a mystique to it that people resonate with. Why not use that to talk about your book?
Don’t be obnoxious about it, though. But if you see someone with a book or an ereader ask them what they are reading. This is a good way to start a conversation (but by no means the only one). Writers are naturally introverts and we need to find ways to be a little less humble and a little more conversational about what we’ve written. I got into a conversation with a cashier at a pet food store after seeing she was reading a romance novel. I told her about my first book, The Ghost Toucher, and she said she’d like to buy a copy. I have no idea if she did, but the lady who cut my hair once did. Barbers are always engaging people in conversation and after I told her what I do she asked if I had any copies with me for sale. I just so happened to have a few in my trunk and made a sale right then. That couldn’t have happened if I wasn’t willing to talk about my book!
But what does this have to do with being the first customer, you ask? First customer is more than just the first person to plunk down coin to buy. First customer is a risk-taker, someone who bought without the foreknowledge others will have. It’s a mentality. You have to be the ambassador who brings that book to the world as both author and reader, to be the reason others should follow behind you and buy as well. You have to have the confidence to talk that book up and talk yourself up at the same time.
How to Publish on Kindle, Smashwords, & Nook the Easy Way! will be published May 28. Join the Facebook page for more updates!
