H.L. Reasby's Blog, page 5

Why you should never drunk text a Whovian.

This is absolutely brilliant!





**Although I'm not really into Dr. Who (sorry to everyone else), this is still bloody hilarious and I hope this text convo really took place. If I was getting texts like this while drunk, I'd be all like "dude, you're screwed, I can't even stand up much less find your spaceship".**



A friend of mine randomly got a drunk text from a stranger. She then did something that has earned my respect and awe. A transcript of her conversation follows. Some of this may be familiar to you.

Warning: VERY LONG. Also, words that I don't like have been bleeped out. Use your imagination.

[Transcript] Drunk Person: "tortyly drunk riht now. straight men everwhere."

Erykah: "Oh, thank God! I finally made contact! Listen, I need your help, but you're in great danger."

DP: "ni**a say wat?"

E: "Listen, my name's the Doctor. I'm a time traveler, or I was. I'm stuck in 1969 with my friend and I need your help to get my spaceship back."

DP: "u hav a spceshit?"

E: "Yes. It's a big blue box that says 'Police Call Box' on it."

DP: "dat doesnt sound liek a spceshp. gay."

E: "Hey! Don't diss the TARDIS!"

DP: "tarsiddd???"

E: "No. TARDIS. Time And Relative Dimension In Space. You see, I'm a Time Lord from ANOTHER planet called Gallifrey."

DP: "y u not there now?"

E: "Well...A long time ago, there was a war and all my people died except for me. I'm the last Time Lord. So I travel through time and space lending a hand wherever I can."

DP: "woahhhh. thats relly sad."

E: "Yes, it is. But now is no time to cry. You're in a lot of danger and you need to help me."

DP: "waot. how r u in 1996?"

E: "I'm in 1969. And it's really complicated."

DP: "oh."

E: "People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff."

DP: "im cofussed."

E: "Well, try and keep up! Never mind the wibbly stuff. All that matters is that they've taken it! The angels have the phone box."

DP: "wut angels?"

E: "Have you ever seen like a statue of an angel? At a church or a cemetary or something?"

DP: "ya."

E: "Well, they're not angels. They're creatures from another worlds. Aliens like me, except they're very, very bad."

DP: "dat maeks sense. they alwys creepeed me out. i thought theyre jus statues tho."

E: "Good eye, you've got. But they're not. They're only statues when you're looking directly at them. Once you look away, they become deadly."

DP: "whaaa?"

E: "Listen, Lonely assassins, they were called. No-one knows where they came from. They're as old as the universe, or very nearly. They've survived this long as they have the most perfect defence system ever evolved. They are quantum-locked. They don't exist when being observed. The moment they're seen by any other living creature they freeze into rock. No choice. It's a fact of their biology. In the sight of any living thing, they literally turn to stone. And you can't kill a stone. Course, a stone can't kill you either. But then you turn your head away, then you blink, and oh, yes it can! Notice how they always look like they're crying in the cemetaries? They're always covering their eyes?"

DP: "dats nuts! ya, ive seen dat."

E: "There's a reason for that. They're not weeping, they can't risk looking at each other. Their greatest asset is their greatest curse. They can never be seen. The loneliest creatures in the universe. And I'm sorry, I am very, very sorry, it's up to you now.

DP: "but wut can i do? tis was all thrustted uopn me!"

E: "The blue box, it's my time machine. There is a world of time energy in there they could feast on forever. The damage they can do can switch off the sun. You have got to send it back to me!"

DP: "ahhhhhh!!! im scrrd! idk wut 2 do! im srsly gon hav a pnic attck."

E: I'm afraid I can't help you any further. I'm stuck in 1969, but I think you're clever enough to think of something. FIND THE BLUE BOX AND GET IT BACK TO ME! The angels have it and you NEED to find it or it's all going to be over."

DP: "dont go doctr! help me!11211!!"

E: "They're coming. The angels are coming for you. But listen, your life could depend on this. Don't blink! Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. They are fast, faster than you can believe. Don't turn your back, don't look away, and don't blink! Good luck!"

DP: "ik! angels hng out in gravyards rite? ill check thar 1st."

E: "Wherever you feel the need to look. I have no idea because I'm trapped 42 years in the past. Wherever you do go, just remember DON'T BLINK."

DP: "omfg. holy shit. i'll find teh box and teh angels and ill text u wen i find it. goodbi doctr. uve liked changgged me life."

[/Transcript]

Things to come – 2012

 2012. Is it just me or does it seem like time is speeding up? It seems like just yesterday, I was 18 years old and looking to take on the world.

 A lot has changed for me in the almost 20 years between then and now. My mother passed away, I met my husband, and relocated from the deserts of Arizona to the Pacific Northwest. Maybe it's strange, but by and large, I have very few regrets about my life, and maybe that's because I'm naïve, but I prefer to think it's because I accept that even the bad things that happened have made me into the person that I am today… and, for the most part, I'm pretty happy with myself as a person.

 2011 was a pretty big year, both good and bad. I was laid off from my day job, which sucked… but I took it as an opportunity and ran with it. Between looking for jobs and the occasional interview, I wrote and published my second novel and banged out the third which is now in the thick of the rewrite process. I also helped edit my husband's first novel, formatted said novel for both ebook and print formats, and helped him set up his blog and other social media promotional outlets. I also participated in breaking ground, so to speak, on a new small press with Garth, another fantastic author we know, Ren Cummins, and editor extraordinaire, Quiana Kirkland.

 So how does one follow up a year like 2011? You continue to turn the volume up to 11, that's how!

 Here's a sneak preview of what you can expect to see:

Shomu: Sekhmet's Light, Book Three
The Sekhmet's Light Trilogy Omnibus edition
The Days Upon the Year (a collection of 5 short stories/novellas set in the Sekhmet's Light universe to fill in some backstories that were alluded to but not explored in the series)
The Talaria Press Founder's Anthology which collects stories from me, Garth, Ren, and even Quiana in a single volume!
Emerald City ComiCon appearances by me, Garth, and Ren
And finally, I'm hoping to have time to break ground on a whole NEW series of supernatural thriller novels!

 Cripes, seeing it all spelled out like that, 2012 is going to be even busier than I expected, especially considering that I'm still looking for a new day job. Well, I guess all we can do is rip that volume knob right off and rock on! 

Writing Friends and Family

A lot of people like to look at books that people they know have written and try to figure out 'who's me in this book?' I also know that a lot of people like to write friends and family into books… I'm not one of those people.

To me, the decision to base a character on a real person can be fraught with incredible peril. The chances that you're going to have someone upset with you over the way they're portrayed in your book are just too high. To date, there are only two direct character-to-loved-one correlations in my novels.

Garth-Kemsefet: Kemsefet is very much based on my husband's personality. He's very supportive and loving, but he's also more than willing to look at me and tell me 'no' if I'm getting out of control… which is something I do need from time to time. He does a great job of balancing out my weaknesses with his strengths.
Jeannie Sue (the nurse who cares for Nicole when she's injured in Peret)-My mom: Naming a caring, nurturing minor character after my mother was my way of honoring her. She was a major force in my life, always my biggest fan. Even though she didn't really like or understand the genres I preferred to write, she always wanted to read my stuff and always expressed her utmost confidence that I would be writing books one day. 

I have no plans to put other friends or family into my books for the reasons stated above. Maybe that will change one day, but I don't really see it happening.

Vanity

    So, I think it's safe to say that if you ask most people to describe me, vain is not going to be the first word that comes up. I tend to live in sweats and t-shirts as much as possible, go barefoot whenever possible, and wear steel-toe workboots instead of stilettos. 

    However, most women have at least one thing that they take particular pride in and that they are at least a bit 'vain' about. For me, it's my hair. I really do love my hair. It's very long, super-thick, and when I pull it back, it more resembles a lush fox's brush than a ponytail. 

    I've also had grey hair for the last ten years or so and dye my hair auburn to conceal it. The thing is, I wouldn't even mind the grey (as my husband pointed out yesterday, it's more silver than true grey), except for one thing: It's all in, more or less, one spot at the front of my head. Seriously… I have a real life Rogue streak in my hair! 

   For those who aren't comically inclined and don't get the reference, here's what I mean:

    Not exactly a look that works, in my opinion, in the real world, however cool it can be in comics. And, of course, it's right on the natural part in my hair so unless I force it to part somewhere else, it's right there, front and center!

    My husband, God love him, is very tolerant of my one vanity. Since I lost my day job in February, I've neglected coloring my hair because with the sheer volume of hair that I have, I have to use two packages of color for each time I color… bearing in mind that each package can run between 7-9 dollars each, it can be costly. Mind you, not as costly as going to a salon, but when you've lost a decent chunk of income, it's substantial.

    So yesterday when we went to the store, my husband, bless him, looked at me and suggested we pick up some color for me because, he knows that although I haven't complained about it, he knows I'm not happy with the amount of grey I'm sporting. Now, a lot of guys would probably find themselves in the proverbial dog house for daring suggest such a thing, but he wouldn't bring it up if he didn't know it did bother me so I certainly can't be upset with him. 

    I'm very lucky to have such a fantastic husband and I'm really looking forward to throwing the dye in my hair tomorrow. Maybe I'll even post a before and after pic!

The Scorpion's Lair: FIRST Lego League--Robots!

The Scorpion's Lair: FIRST Lego League--Robots!:

thermalscorpion:

This weekend my wife and I were judges in the Washington State First Lego League robotics competition. It is a team oriented event that has kids within a similar age range (3rd to 8th grade seemed to be the range for this event) grouped together to build a Lego robot that performs missions…

wilwheaton:Hideous Cosby Sweater? Check.Untied high top...

wilwheaton:

Hideous Cosby Sweater? Check.

Untied high top tennis shoes? Check.

Z Cavaricci pants? Check.

Leather fucking trenchcoat for some reason? Check.

Why. Why why why why why didn't a single person with access to a mirror get between me and the car as I was leaving the house? Because it was the late 80s, bitches, and this horrible shit was hot.

A friendly promotional post!

    I'd like to take a moment to promote the work of some wonderful people who also happen to be incredibly talented. If you're stuck for what to get that book-reader in your life for Christmas, this is a great post for you!

    Do you have a James Bond or superhero fan in your life? Then Garth Reasby's Children of Divinity series is a great choice. The first book is now available, with book two coming soon!

Awaken
Evolve (coming 2012)

    For the steampunk or anime fan in your life, check out Ren Cummins' Chronicles of Aesirium Series. It's a fantastic read and suitable for all ages from about 10 on up!

Reaper's Return
The Morrow Stone
The City of the Dead
Reaper's Flight
Into the Blink
The Crook and the Blade (coming later this month!)

    Finally, don't forget about my own Sekhmet's Light series as well. The first two books are out with book three slated for release in early 2012!

Akhet
Peret
Shomu (coming 2012)

    Oh, and one last thing… If you want to give a wonderful gift that costs nothing more than a moment or two of your time, please leave a review for a book you read this year. It doesn't have to long, just a sentence or two to let the author and other readers know whether you enjoyed it or not is fabulous!

Thanks for reading!

Cool experience

    I've recently shared the fact that I'm an author with my guild in Rift (it came up when I had to log early for a meeting with my editor and people asked about it). One of my friends commented that it sounded like my books would be right up his oldest daughter's alley so he would suggest them to her.

    I spoke to him again day before yesterday and he told me that his daughter already owns my first book and that he was planning on picking up the second one for her for christmas! Of course, this had me utterly tickled pink, particularly when he asked how much I'd charge to sign them for her.

    I told him I don't charge for signatures and that if he wants to send me the cover price via paypal I'll be happy to sign a copy of Peret and send it to her since I still have one on-hand from the last shipment I received.

    Having the opportunity to interact with people who've read my book is a huge thrill to me and if it means getting a dad some extra kudos in the process, I'm totally down with that!

I just saw this promo and I have to admit, I'm absolutely...

I just saw this promo and I have to admit, I'm absolutely JAZZED to see this when it airs!

A Love Letter to my Editor

I've been seeing a lot of blog posts lately, asking about/touting the importance of an editor. I cannot stress enough how invaluable a great editor can be.

With that in mind, I'd just like to take a moment to brag on my chief editor, the brilliant and beautiful Quiana Kirkland. Although I have no doubt that I was a good writer before she started working with me, once I got her help, I now believe that I'm a very good writer, with the potential to become great one day.

Quiana manages to strike the perfect balance between kicking my ass to keep me honest, and cheerleading to keep me motivated. Her humor and encouragement helped make the revision/rewrite process relatively painless and surprisingly enjoyable.

So, why am I stressing this? Because the best thing you, as a writer, can ever do for yourself is to find yourself a great editor to help do these things for you. You need someone to push you to be the best that you can be. Someone who will look at your work, point out the strengths and give you suggestions on where to shore up the weaknesses… but more importantly, you have to listen. You have to keep an open mind and be willing to at least consider their suggestions.

It's not easy and you'll need to figure out how to leave your ego at the door, but if you figure out how to do that, you'll only get better as a writer.