Andrew Shaffer's Blog, page 6

Merry Grootmas!

Had some free time this week, and got carried away writing a little uardians of the Galaxy fanfic—specifically, a Christmas-themed short story featuring Star-Lord, Groot, and the rest of the gang meeting Santa Claus!

Read Merry Grootmas on Wattpad!

Waving the White Flag in the War on Christmas

The following story is abridged from "Frontline In the War on Christmas," an essay in my new free collection, The Shelf on the Elf: Holiday Leftovers.

"Merry Christmas or happy holidays? Which strategy should retailers use to cash in? Here for a fair and balanced debate is Andrew Shaffer, owner of the Order of St. Nick [greeting card company]," FOX & Friends host Steve Doocy explained.

It was December 2008. The clock read 6:24 AM at the FOX News studios in New York. An early hour by anyone's watch, but it was 5:24 in Des Moines, where I was live via satellite to defend my "atheist Christmas cards" (think Charles Darwin in a Santa hat).

My fiancée had grilled me late into the previous night with questions we expected a FOX News host would ask a heretic, such as, "Where are your horns?" and "Why do you hate America?" It had taken a hotel wake-up call, two cell phone alarms, a Red Bull, and a gas station coffee just to pry my eyes halfway open.

Greg Stielstra, a Christian marketing expert, joined the conversation from the FOX & Friends set. Greg's position was that, by using "happy holidays" in advertising and store displays instead of "Merry Christmas," retailers risk alienating a majority of their customers.

This wasn't semantics; this was war.

Read more of the story at The Huffington Post!

Nonfiction Ebook Sale! $1.99 For a Limited Time

$1.99 ebook on Amazon and B&N (US only)

$1.99 ebook on Amazon and B&N (US only)

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The Shelf on the Elf: Holiday Leftovers

The Shelf on the Elf: Holiday Leftovers collects five off-beat holiday stories, one of which ("Hunting Season") was written exclusively for the collection. Did I also mention it's FREE?!

Download the Free Ebook—Choose Your Format:

MOBI (Kindle) • EPUB (Nook/Kobo) • iBooks • PDF

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Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

How do you pronounce "Shaffer"?

SHAY-fer. At least that's how my family pronounces it.

 

What's the story behind your pen name, "Fanny Merkin"?

When my agent was shopping Fifty Shames of Earl Grey to publishers, we decided to use a pseudonym so as not to tarnish the intellectual image I'd painstakingly cultivated as a nonfiction author. I found the name "Fanny Merkin" in a book of funny, real names from the 18th century (Morecock, Fartwell, & Hoare: A Collection of Unfortunate but True Names).

 

What's a merkin?

A merkin is a pubic wig. From Wikipedia: "Usually made of fur, beaver pelts, linen or some soft version of cloth. The Oxford Companion to the Body dates the origin of the pubic wig to the 1450s. According to the publication, women would shave their pubic hair for personal hygiene and to combat pubic lice. They would then don a merkin. Also, prostitutes would wear a merkin to cover up signs of disease, such as syphilis."

 

When is Fifty Shames In Space coming out?

The short answer is "never." The long answer is also "never." Fifty Shames of Earl Grey contains an "excerpt" from Fifty Shames In Space, a fictional novel that promises "twice the sex, twice the excitement, and twice the sex." I didn't have any intentions of writing a sequel—I'd read a bit of the second Fifty Shades book, and it seemed to be more of the same. There wasn't much there to parody. However, I have been working on another literary parody that's in the same vein as Fifty Shames of Earl Grey. Look for news on it in 2015.

 

How did the sharknado book come about?

The idea originated with Crown Publishing and Syfy. I hear they wanted an author who could handle a chainsaw. When they couldn't find one, they asked me.

 

More questions and answers over at Goodreads!

Small Business Saturday

This Saturday, November 29th, Tiffany Reisz and I will be volunteer booksellers at Jan's Paperbacks in Beaverton, OR as part of the Small Business Saturday/Indies First initiative. Stop by between 2pm and 4pm and say hello!

Learn more about the Indies First program.

Hunger Games Essay

The third Hunger Games movie — Mockingjay Part I — is in theaters now. I was reminded that a few years ago I contributed an essay on the Hunger Games to The Hunger Games and Philosophy.

Read an excerpt from my essay over at Google (click on the second page on that link, labelled "Schadenfreude and the Hunger Games").

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Christmas Cards!

December is nearly upon us, and I haven't yet thrown out my annual sales pitch for my Order of St. Nick Christmas cards!

This year, I've created 8 new cards — including sharks, squids, and Sherlock.

If you're looking for something a little more off-beat than what you'd find at Hallmark or Target, I've got you covered.

Cards are available as singles or 10-packs.

Visit Order of St. Nick's Cafepress store!

Andrew Shaffer Books on Oyster

Are you a subscriber to Oyster's virtual ebook library? If so, you can read Great Philosophers Who Failed at Love and Literary Rogues—for free! Subscribers to the ebook library pay a monthly fee of $9.95 to read unlimited ebooks.

Already an Oyster subscriber? Click here to add these books to your shelf.

Not an Oyster subscriber? Start your free trial here!

Wizard World Ohio Comic Con

I will be signing How to Survive a Sharknado and Fifty Shames of Earl Grey this weekend (Oct 31-Nov 2) at the Wizard World Ohio Comic Con in Columbus. Comic convention tickets are required for show entrance (available at the door).