Laura Roberts's Blog, page 37

Top 10 Reasons I (Still) Love My Husband

Today is my 8th wedding anniversary, so I’ve decided to share a slightly more personal post than usual, in tribute.

So, here are my Top 10 Reasons I (Still) Love My Husband:

10 – He’s strong.

In terms of physical strength, I started going to the gym more regularly when we first started dating, and as I’ve observed many times in the gym over the years, he is crushing it. Dudes will approach him for workout tips, or to ask him about the foam grips he uses to protect his hands from calluses. Chicks will try to ask him out, and he will point to me and say, “Sorry, my wife wouldn’t like that.” And even though he thinks he has lost some of his strength over the years, he still inspires me to keep pushing those weights harder and doing the work.

9 – He’s sexy.

Like, duh, right? What woman doesn’t think her man is the hottest?

My husband’s got a great smile, a tight butt, and whenever I see his face I just want to kiss it.

He is embarrassed about having his picture taken or posted on the internet, so I will refrain. But trust me when I say he’s still my favorite sight at the end of a long day.

8 – He’s smart.

Even more important than a hot bod is having a hot mind. My husband is always fun to talk to, whether we are discussing art and music and books or debating politics (even though that can sometimes become enraging because, ugh, have you seen the hot mess that passes for political discourse here in the USA?).

He knows a ton about art, music, science, nutrition, cooking, and the occasional weird trivia (like: he always seems to know about the celebrity scandals that have been swept under the rug, and he will chuck out some odd tidbit about an actor or musician you [formerly] liked). I think he should write a book one of these days, so I keep encouraging him to do so.

7 – He’s sensitive.

Strong dudes can sometimes just be meatheads, or act like Neanderthals. Not my husband, who has a sensitive side as well. He is a great shoulder to cry on, as well as a good critical eye for when you are acting like a jerk. He also has a finely tuned bullshit detector, which has helped him sniff out emotional vampires to help both of us avoid them… when we actually listen to his instincts, anyway.

6 – He’s got excellent taste in music.

He’s also a musician, so that probably helps!

When we first met up in person (he originally contacted me on a dating website), he commented that I had great taste in music. I thought that was cute, since I usually got dorks that thought naming the bands who wrote the lyrics I was quoting meant we were somehow soulmates. Instead, he asked me if I liked some other bands that were of the same genre, and I said yes, and then we listened to some crazy stuff I had never heard before, and he turned me onto the Brazilian Girls, Boards of Canada, and a ton of lyric-free stuff I like to listen to when I’m writing.

He must have millions of songs on his various hard drives, and listens to everything from classical to hip hop to noise to stuff I don’t think they even have a name for yet.

5 – He loves cats.

I mean, who doesn’t, right? But seriously, there are some weirdos out there who say stupid things like: “Oh, if a guy likes cats, then he must be gay.” I’m sorry, what century is this, and what planet are you from?

My husband loves cats, which is why we have two of the world’s most awesome kitties. Both Ned and Percy are super snuggly with him, since he is great with animals. Cats are good judges of character, too, so I think he gets some of his catlike instincts about people from hanging out with the felines. Or maybe he was a tiger in a previous life?

One the funniest things he told me when we first met was that because he had posted this picture of tigers sitting in a hot tub on his dating profile, all of these women were asking him, “Do you own tigers?” Talk about missing the point!

4 – He has an awesome sense of humor.

As per the above tigers in a hot tub, this picture always makes me smile. It’s like having our own inside joke, even though I’m sure millions of people have seen this picture on the internet. Having a great sense of humor is probably the most important part of our relationship, because we love to laugh and be silly together. We make up nicknames for our cats, sing our own alternative lyrics to popular songs (usually also about the cats), and just write weird notes on Post-Its around the house. (There is still one that reads “Goat Polish” on the wall near our bathroom, which my mom was curious about.)

In short, we like to crack jokes and have fun together, without busting on other people (unless those people are named Donald Drumpf, because they deserve it).

3 – He’s a weirdo.

Like me, my husband is a bit of a maniac (in an Under the Cherry Moon sense, not an ax murderer sense). He has strange obsessions and habits, he loves staying in more than going out, he has a unique sense of humor, and he likes to be able to indulge in his weirdness in the privacy of our home. I am definitely cool with all of that, since I’m the same way. After all, if you can’t be yourself when you’re at home, then what’s the point?

2 – He has a good heart.

So many people these days seem wrapped up in hatred and anger, in seeking revenge and bashing others, or in just being mean and rude and petty. My husband has to put up with a ton of shit at his day job, from people who seem to think they are entitled to treat him like crap. But through it all, he still stays true to himself and refuses to stoop to their level.

Basically, he’s a decent person. That sounds kind of weird, because shouldn’t we all be decent people? We should! But lots of people aren’t, which makes him stand out in his shining example of kindness, genuineness, and decency.

Additionally, he is kind to animals and old ladies. And although he can play the knight in shining armor role, he also doesn’t put up with anybody’s crap. He’s no doormat, motherfuckers. (See #1)

1 – He’s my best friend.

Lots of people say this, but in our case it is totally true. My husband is my favorite person, my best friend, and the love of my life. There are so many great things about him, it was hard to narrow it all down to just 10 for this list.

In short: Happy Anniversary, my love! Here’s to another crazy 8 years and many more!

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Hanging Out: 365K Club, week 22

Is it June already?! The time just flies!

It’s that time of the week again: time for another 365K Club word count check-in! Numbers, please…

May 28, Day 149: 208 words

May 29, Day 150: 438 words

May 30, Day 151: 1,302 words

May 31, Day 152: 227 words

June 1, Day 153: 655 words

June 2, Day 154: 340 words

June 3, Day 155: 392 words

That’s a grand total of 3,562 words for the week, 18,580 for the month of May (and 1,387 so far towards June), and 88,889 for the year!

Did I beat last week’s total?

Last week I wrote 3,122 words, which means I managed to crush my previous week’s high score by 440 words. Woohoo!

Badges!

This week, I won the “Hanging Out” badge, for describing my main character’s hangouts, as well as the “Cabin Boy” badge for writing every single day for a month, the May Bullseye badge for hitting my word count target, and the “Survived the Flying Monkeys” badge for hitting 3/4 of my total yearly goal! How’s that for a great week?

I’ve actually had my eye on that Cabin Boy badge all month… if I can write every day for 5 months straight, I’ll work my way up from Cabin Boy swabbin’ the decks to the Pirate Captain of me own vessel! And do you know what that means? That’s right: I’ll be a PIRATE-NINJA, the best of all possible worlds!

I’m currently pondering my pirate name, to psych myself up for the glory. I mean, the obvious one is The Dread Pirate Roberts, but will Westley pass the name on to me, as Ryan did before him?

Goals for next week?

Since I’m officially over the 3/4 mark towards my 100,000 word yearly goal, and it’s only halfway through the year, my new yearly goal is to actually hit 200,000 words by December 31st. I will  have to step up my daily word counts a bit to achieve the goal, but I think I can do it, based on my progress thus far. Who knew I could write so many words in a year?! And I never would’ve known if I hadn’t taken the 365K Club challenge.

In other news…

One of my poems, “Change and the Great Beyond,” is included in the new charity anthology, Stardust, Always, which is both a tribute to David Bowie and Alan Rickman and a way to support cancer research. All proceeds from the book’s sales will benefit St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital, so if you’d like to help make this world a better place and really give cancer the finger, please buy a copy of the book. The official release date is tomorrow, June 5, but you can pre-order today!

And if you still haven’t signed up for my mailing list, go read about my new super-duper freebies – for subscribers only – and how to have a shot at winning a $25 Amazon gift card.

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Mailing list madness: Enter to win a $25 Amazon gift card + 4 cool bonuses

Want a chance to win a $25 Amazon gift card?

Who doesn’t?

If you’re not already on my fantastical, fantabulous, fan-friendly mailing list, I must ask the obvious rhetorical question: WHY NOT?

Perhaps you’ll allow me to entice you with a shot at winning a $25 Amazon gift card?

Yes, you heard correctly: all subscribers (new and current) to my mailing list are eligible for a chance to win an Amazon gift card just for signing up.

No hoops to jump through, no confusing instructions about what to tweet/post/pin/share for a shot at the prize.

Just click here and join the mailing list, and you’re entered!

But wait, there’s more!

As an added bonus, you’ll also receive the following:

A free copy of my book, A Cheater’s Guide to NaNoWriMo;
Your very own Word Tracker for 2016, to help jump-start your writing;
A weekly digest of all the stories I post here on my blog; and
A special subscribers-only short story, sent once a month!

That’s right: free stuff, tools you can use to improve your writing, my blog posts straight to your inbox, an awesome short story you won’t find anywhere else in the world, AND a shot at a $25 Amazon gift card! Have I gone cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs?!

Nope, I just want my fans to get as much value out of their subscriptions to my mailing list as possible.

So, just hit this link and sign up for my mailing list today to receive all of this cool swag, will ya?

*NOTE: One winner will be chosen, at random, from all mailing list subscribers (as of June 30, 2016) for the $25 Amazon gift card. Gift card will be issued in US dollars for use at Amazon.com and its various country affiliates, via email; this giveaway is not sponsored by Amazon. Subscribers are, of course, free to unsubscribe at any time. New contests may or may not be hosted monthly, depending on popularity. Any questions, feel free to email me for further clarification.

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Inflight Inanity: Silly & surprising stories in aviation

I’ve been responding to some HARO (Help A Reporter Out) travel queries lately, one of which asked for “your funniest aircraft experience.” Since I never heard back from the reporter who requested these stories, I’m assuming he passed on using this one in his piece. Since I still think it’s pretty amusing, I thought I’d share it here.

So, here’s your first (and possibly last) installment of “Inflight Inanity,” silly and surprising stories in aviation:

Back before 9/11 happened, my boyfriend and I had traveled to France on some [airline name redacted] tickets, which a friend who worked for the company had passed to us. This was a bit sketchy to begin with, as we had to essentially pretend that we worked for the airline in order to use the tickets, but our trip there had been uneventful and we figured all would be well on our way back.

Unfortunately, however, when we arrived at the airport to return home, the gate agent informed us that the flight was overbooked, and only one of us would be able to board. She asked which of us was going to volunteer to stay behind.

We looked at her like she was crazy.

Which one of us was going to volunteer to be left behind in Paris?! Obviously, neither of us! You can’t separate young lovers in love!

Also, my spoken French isn’t all that hot… and we were out of cash… and I certainly wasn’t about to board that damn Orlybus back to the city and sleep alone in a hostile hostel!

She told us to wait one moment, and she’d find a solution.

After a few tense minutes, she returned and told us to follow her.

We did.

But as soon as we set foot on the plane, we were separated. My boyfriend was taken back to coach, while the agent took me towards first class. Was I being bumped up?

“Follow me,” she said, and kept going further up towards the front of the plane.

She finally opened the door to the cockpit, and announced, “We have room for one more up here.”

I was astonished, having never even seen the inside of a commercial jet’s cockpit up close and personal.

“You can sit in the jump seat,” one of the men inside told me, folding down a seat from the wall.

It turned out that I was sharing a cabin with the pilot, co-pilot, and another pilot on vacation. They were all quite friendly, and showed me how to buckle myself into the jump seat (the harness was more like strapping on a parachute than your typical seat belt), and we took off without anyone asking where, exactly, I worked in the airline biz that I had never sat in a jump seat before.

When I finally got a chance to head back and see where they’d placed my boyfriend, I discovered him stuck in the middle of one of the five-across middle rows, looking miserable. I was much happier up front, where the male flight attendant working first class took a shine to me, and brought me ice cream from the first class galley!

It was definitely a memorable end to my trip, particularly being able to see exactly how everything worked during takeoff and landing. A bit scary, too, suddenly having a panoramic view of absolutely everything rushing past those enormous windows. You won’t find that on any Parisian postcards!

Nowadays, of course, they seal the cockpit in case of crazed shoe-bombing hijackers, so there’s no chance I’ll ever get to sit up there again unless I actually become a professional pilot or crew member.

But if anyone ever asks if you’d rather be left behind in Paris or grab the jump seat, definitely grab the jump seat!

Got a story to share?

Ever had something surprising or silly happen to you on an airplane? Let me know in the comments!

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My “Fuck It” List: 10 Things I Just Don’t Have Time For

Because life’s too short to worry about coulda, shoulda, woulda, I’ve taken a page from Diane Lee‘s book and I’ve written my own “Fuck It List.” This is, basically, a “Bucket List” in reverse, enumerating the top 10 things I absolutely do not give two fucks about, and simply don’t have any time for.

Okay, never say never, but this list is a bunch of stuff I see no point in wasting further time and energy upon.

So…

FUCK THE FOLLOWING:

1. Telemarketers and time-wasting phone calls.

Normally I don’t even answer my phone, period, but the last wrong number I received inspired me to fuck with ’em instead. I was tired of seeing the “unavailable number” message on my phone, so I picked up.

“I need to speak with Mr. or Mrs. McClane,” said the man on the other end.

“Well yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!” I retorted, adding, “Don’t ever call here again.”

Seriously, though, don’t call me unless I gave you explicit permission. I’M WORKING.

2. Mansplainers.

Ain’t nobody got time for that! I recently shut down a pointless argument with a dude who wanted to both mansplain and Jewsplain to me about Captain America and the Holocaust. Really? Fictional characters, people. Am I getting through to you at all?

3. Webinars.

I’m a sucker for free webinars. I like learning new things, and I also like the opportunity to take a break from my work to kick back and listen to something educational for an hour or so.

But!

I’m swearing them off for the next few months, because I think a lot of them are a) repetitive and b) trying to sell me stuff I don’t really need.

That’s not to say that free webinars aren’t worthwhile, or interesting, or useful. I just need to focus on doing what I have to do, right now, instead of learning new things (or reinforcing stuff I already know) all the time.

So, sorry, webinars, but for now: fuck off.

4. Not Charging What I’m Worth.

This is a recurring issue, particularly in indie lit circles. Lots of people try to shame those of us with businesses that focus on writers for either charging “too much” or supposedly “taking advantage” of the poor writers.

Look, just setting up a business that focuses on writers doesn’t automatically mean you’re taking advantage of them. Lots of businesses help writers, like editors, cover designers, publishers, etc. Are these people all predators? No. And if you’ve done your research, you should be able to get your money’s worth from the service provider you’ve chosen.

If you think someone is charging too much, fine. Hire someone else. But stop accusing people of scamming others just because they’re trying to charge a living wage for their services.

5. Putting Others’ Wants & Needs Above My Own.

No, I do not usually reply to emails on the weekend.
No, I do not answer my phone if I don’t recognize the number.
No, I don’t reply to obvious trolls.
No, I’m not bending over backwards to make things convenient for you.

I’m a freelancer, which people take to mean “free for everything, all the time.” Wrong. This is my life, these are my boundaries – take it or leave it.

6. Lack of Exercise.

Related to #5, I need time for me, because my health is more important than anything else. And if your project can’t wait 30 minutes for me to go for a walk, then I don’t want to work with you anyway.

My shoulder hurts all the time, and I’m only 37. I’m not about to check myself into a nursing home just because some client wants me to destroy myself in the name of finishing their project faster.

7. Not Reading.

I used to read a book a week, easily. Now I’m way behind on both my writing and my reading, and that makes me cranky – in case you hadn’t noticed!

I need time to read, offline, and decompress. If I don’t get that time, bad things happen.

Therefore, I’ll be reading a book a week until further notice, and if that means forcing my husband to turn off the damn TV so we can read quietly together, so be it.

8. Staying Put.

My lease is up in three months. Frankly, I’m sick of living so far from downtown San Diego.

I want to be closer to the city’s culture. I want delivery options beyond pizza. I want neighbors that aren’t a bunch of meth-addicted hillbillies with guns and demon spawn. I want to live somewhere that I can go for a walk without having to drive somewhere first. Hell, I want to be able to take public transportation!

And since we moved to San Diego to be close to the ocean, I feel we deserve to live closer to the ocean! I refuse to pay more for the privilege, though, because I’m already paying enough to be mortgaging a house here and instead I’m only renting. If we can find a place within walking distance of the water, I’ll be happy.

9. Censorship.

There are a couple of writing groups I belong to that are really great… except for one thing: they don’t like anyone to use “adult” language (i.e. “cuss words”).

Now, I’m completely respectful of their rules, because I do get a lot out of the groups otherwise, but I find this attitude both provincial and boring.

I’m an adult. I use the F-word – as illustrated quite clearly in this post. I don’t censor it, because I’m sure we all still know what “F***” means. And because fuck is just a word, like any other. No better, no worse. (Indeed, it’s a nice Anglo-Saxon word which quite clearly conveys the true spirit of the action it portrays… but that’s another argument for another day.)

As a woman in one of my critique groups noted, sometimes the use of the F-word is a good way to break the ice. Particularly in the company of men, it makes people feel comfortable opening up and sharing things with you.

But mostly, I’m not going to censor my language, because I believe that words are tools, and that language conveys meaning. The F-word conveys many different meanings, as George Carlin has noted, and so it comes in handy in almost any situation. So if it’s a quick way to illustrate a character’s character, I’ll use it.

Also, I’d really like to see some of these non-cussing folks when they accidentally hit their thumb with a hammer. I suspect they don’t let out a loud “FUDGE!” in place of the real thing.

10. Fear.

Fuck fear. I’ve lived plenty of my life afraid of different things. And in the past, some people have said I’ve been “brave” to write about the things I did.

I feel like I’ve lost that in my writing, and that bothers me. I think it’s because I don’t usually write about such personal things in my blog and elsewhere anymore. For fear of being censored. For fear of the kinds of nutjobs that lurk on the internet, criticizing me. For fear of some nameless, shadow folks taking offense, calling me out, making a scene.

Really?

Fuck it. I refuse to be afraid to be myself. I refuse to be afraid of what others think of me, based on who I am or what I write about. I can’t control that stuff anyway, so why fear it?

Life is too short to be scared to do anything, but especially to be yourself and do the things that make you happy.

That’s why I wrote this Fuck It List.

Fuck fear. Fuck time wasters. Fuck not living your life the way it deserves to be lived.

So, what’s on your Fuck It List?

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David Bowie + Alan Rickman + cancer charity = Stardust, Always

This is a different type of post than I usually make. Because it’s not about me; it’s about making the world a better place.

If that sounds cheesy, I hear you. But give me a second to explain.

One of my poems, “Change and the Great Beyond,” is included in the forthcoming charity anthology, Stardust, Always, a tribute to David Bowie and Alan Rickman.

That probably sounds like my usual blog content, right? But wait!

I trust you know that both David Bowie and Alan Rickman succumbed to cancer at the age of 69, within 4 days of one another, earlier this year.

What you probably don’t know is… this news really broke my heart.

I know, lots of people think celebrity deaths are meaningless. But they’re wrong. Because our heroes are important to us, no matter how imperfect they really are. They represent the best in us, don’t they?

Frankly, I was devastated by the news. First Bowie, one of my favorite musicians, as well as the Goblin King of Labyrinth (one of my favorite movies as a kid who grew up in the 80s) passed away, just a few days after releasing an amazing new album.

Then Rickman, who’s basically portrayed all of the best villains in cinema (Hans Gruber from Die Hard, the Sheriff of Nottingham in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves), not to mention Marvin, the paranoid android, from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and even the voice of God, aka Megatron, in Kevin Smith’s Dogma.

Two legends, snuffed out by the same disease. Coincidence? Or catalyst?

As Stardust, Always attests, their deaths did not go unnoticed, unmourned. And since artists strive to make something positive out of something negative, I jumped at the chance to join this anthology, which benefits St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital – a cancer charity here in the U.S.

This book is not about me. It’s about helping others by finding a cure to a terrible disease: cancer.

So, if you have a spare $3.99, please pre-order this volume at Amazon. Or, if you’re feeling generous, wait for the paperback release on June 4. And, if you’re on Facebook, join us for an online launch party with tons of giveaways and swag on June 5 (you can come in your PJs, from anywhere in the world)! Either way, I hope you feel compelled to buy a copy in honor of David Bowie and Alan Rickman, to give cancer the finger and support the memory of all those we’ve lost much too soon to this terrible disease.

Stardust, Always,

Laura

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Fail Better: 365K Club, week 21

It’s that time of the week again: time for another 365K Club word count check-in! Numbers, please…

May 21, Day 142: 242 words

May 22, Day 143: 258 words

May 23, Day 144: 758 words

May 24, Day 145: 327 words

May 25, Day 146: 416 words

May 26, Day 147: 523 words

May 27, Day 148: 598 words

That’s a grand total of 3,122 words for the week, 16,405 for the month, and 85,327 for the year!

Did I beat last week’s total?

Last week I wrote 3,927 words. Which means I fell behind this week by 805 words.

Ah, well. In the words of Samuel Beckett: “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”

Badges

No badges this week, sadly. But I’ve got my eye on that “Cabin Boy” badge for writing every day, for 30 days in a row, at the end of this month!

Goals for next week?

This week feels like it’s been a bit of a blur. I haven’t written A Story A Day since last Thursday, and I haven’t sent anything out to my mailing list, for which I feel incredibly guilty. On the other hand, no one has written to ask what’s up, so I’m assuming they don’t actually care.

The most recent person who unsubscribed from my mailing list wrote this incomprehensible reason, verbatim, in the “other” box, by way of explanation:

Receiving emails around 2 am and waking up from the alerts. I use my alerts for my business so I need them on. So I unsubscribe from all email lists that send me things when I’m sleeping.

Seriously? You do realize that my emails go out to people from all around the world, and I can’t actually pick a time that’s convenient for ALL of them, right? Furthermore, if my emails pinging your inbox at inappropriate times are so annoying (and have, apparently, been driving this particularly person slowly insane over TWO YEARS, which is when they originally subscribed to my list!), have you not ever considered routing all of your non-work emails to another address? Or, I dunno, putting your phone into “do not disturb” mode like the rest of us, between midnight and whenever you normally wake up?

This all just sounds completely crazypants to me, so it makes me wonder if this person is really that incompetent, or just plain fucking with me.

Either way, good riddance to this person, since I’m not about to solve their tech issues when Dr. Google is easily within reach. If you’re one of my readers, I’d certainly hope you have a certain level of intelligence that would enable you to figure out a better solution to this not-so-vexing problem than unsubscribing from my mailing list altogether.

Anyway, that brings me finally to my goals for next week. I do plan on finishing up my Mayday stories, whether or not I end up sending them out to the mailing list, and I also need to get back to my Chicago from A to Z manuscript, to beef it up with bonus features and additional info before publication.

I’ve also taken on a write-for-hire book project, which should be an interesting departure from my self-publishing work, and have a deadline of May 31 to get started on that. TALLY HO!

Want to track YOUR words?

In an effort to spread the helpful message of 365K Club’s daily word tracking, I’ve created my own Buttontapper Word Tracker. Want a free copy? Just sign up for my newsletter and you’ll receive a link to download it ASAP.

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Top 10 Exotic Locations in Literature

This week I’ll be wrapping up my A Story A Day in May stories for my mailing list, and I’ve been thinking about exotic locations.

Probably because I need a vacation!

So here are my Top 10 Exotic Locations in Literature where I’d like to escape this Memorial Day Weekend…

Hawaii – As illustrated in Paul Theroux’s novel, Hotel Honolulu, I’d even be happy to work in a hotel on the Big Island… at least for a little while!
France – While I haven’t yet read Peter Mayle’s A Year in Provence , I can already tell you I’m smitten with the idea of moving into a 200-year-old stone farmhouse in the south of France. Also, anything set in Paris is pretty much my jam, from David Sedaris’s  Me Talk Pretty One Day to Ernest Hemingway’s  A Moveable Feast to George Orwell’s Down and Out in Paris and London to Victor Hugo’s Les Misérables, even at its most miserable, France always somehow seems like a great place to be.
India – What privileged white person doesn’t want to go to India, am I right? But seriously, some of my favorite books are set in this country, so it’s definitely on my list of exotic locations to visit – even if a hell of a lot of those books are actually about earthly pain, suffering and strife, like the Bhagavad Gita , Siddhartha , Midnight’s Children , The Moor’s Last Sigh , and Memories of a Mombasa Gigolo .
Japan – I went on a bit of a Japanese author kick during college, reading everything Banana Yoshimoto ever wrote, along with the infamously fetishistic Memoirs of a Geisha, and some Haruki Murakami. I just added  Dreaming Pachinko to my To Read pile, after reading this list of Fiona Campbell’s Top 10 Books Set in Japan, so I’d be delighted to explore this island country and learn even more about its people and culture.
Australia – While I’ve seen quite a good number of movies set in Australia, which must have – at some point – been books… oddly enough, I have read exactly ZERO books set there. How is that even possible?! Here’s a list from Buzzfeed that will hopefully help me learn more about the mysterious and distant land Down Under.
Los Angeles – Though this could be described as more of a staycation than a vacation, given my proximity to LA, there are plenty of books that have romanticized this SoCal city for me. The most important ones are undoubtedly Francesca Lia Block’s Weetzie Bat series, which painted LA as a magical place even in modern times. And, of course, we can’t forget Raymond Chandler’s novels, including The Big Sleep, nor Charles Bukowski’s books and poems, particularly Post Office and Ham on Rye .
Tibet – While I’m not entirely sure I’d want to visit Tibet for an extended period of time, I did find the descriptions of the country’s remote beauty in Xue Xinran’s Sky Burial quite impressive. Wouldn’t it be nice to be someplace where you couldn’t access the internet 24/7? Kind of a spiritual retreat.
Morocco – Equally, I don’t think I’d like to stay in Morocco too long, as I am not one for the heat, but Paul Bowles’ The Sheltering Sky sure romanticizes the desert and the alienation of being a stranger in a strange land.
Birmingham, UK – Even as an adult, I still want to visit Willy Wonka’s factory of wonders, as describe in Roald Dahl’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory . If all else fails, a trip to Cadbury World in Birmingham ought to suffice… at least until I can figure out how to make some Fizzy Lifting Drinks of my own!
Mars – For when you really want to get away from it all, you can’t beat space travel. I still need to read Andy Weir’s The Martian , although I’ve already watched the movie. Sounds kind of like Ireland, if you ask me…

Bonus Destinations

Oh, and in case you still haven’t subscribed to my mailing list, here’s a list of the Top 10 Most Exotic Locations Featured in Mayday!

Odessa, Texas
El Paso, Texas
Palm Springs, California
Los Angeles, California
New York City, aka Manhattan
Loch Ness, Scotland
London, England
Paris, France
Lima, Peru
Bora Bora, French Polynesia

“bora bora” image by Flickr user Saïda

I could definitely use a bit of relaxing with a good book in a hammock by the sea, right about now…

What about you?

What’s the exotic literary location YOU’D most like to visit?

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Blazing Laptops: 365K Club, week 20

It’s that time of the week again: time for another 365K Club word count check-in! Numbers, please…

May 14, Day 135: 333 words

May 15, Day 136: 1,505 words

May 16, Day 137: 397 words

May 17, Day 138: 259 words

May 18, Day 139: 315 words

May 19, Day 140: 429 words

May 20, Day 141: 689 words

That’s a grand total of 3,927 words for the week, 13,283 for the month, and 82,205 for the year. This means I’m already at 82% of my goal of 100,000 words. How amazing is that?!

Did I beat last week’s total?

Last week I wrote 4,247 words, so this week I came up 321 words short. So close! But yet so far…

Badges!

I did not receive any badges for the week, although I am hoping to attain the “Pulled Together $150 for the Blazing Laptops Fundraiser in Just 48 Hours” badge… click here to find out how you can help me achieve my goal!

Goals for next week?

My biggest goal for next week is finishing up my A Story A Week book and getting it ready for publication. Wish me luck!

In the meantime…

Want to track YOUR words?

In an effort to spread the helpful message of 365K Club’s daily word tracking, I’ve created my own Buttontapper Word Tracker. Want a free copy? Just sign up for my newsletter and you’ll receive a link to download it ASAP.

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Sponsor San Diego writers: Blazing Laptops

Every year, San Diego Writers Ink holds its annual fundraiser, Blazing Laptops.

“What’s Blazing Laptops?” you ask.

An excellent question, dear reader!

Putting the “fun” back in “fundraiser”

Blazing Laptops is both a fundraiser that helps San Diego Writers Ink continue to put together its awesome programming for writers in all genres, as well as a one-day write-a-thon where individual fundraisers who’ve put together at least $150 in donations get to meet up in the Ink Spot and work on their writing from 9 AM to 4 PM.

Coffee, snacks and pizza for lunch are all included for participants. And there are plenty of writing teachers on hand, ready with prompts for those who aren’t quite sure what to write about.

For those of us, like me, who already have projects in progress, there’s also a quiet writing room where we can work at our own pace. Everyone can jump into the directed writing room, if they want some extra inspiration, and there’s lots of time to meet with fellow writers, bond, and – of course – write.

Last year I actually raised the $150 required to participate, but I goofed on the date, and ended up missing the event!

So this year, I hope to raise at least $150 ($300 is my “reach” goal!), and join in on the fun this Sunday, May 22.

That’s where YOU come in!

San Diego Writers Ink is a great organization, and they’ve got a TON of programs that really help the local writing community mix, mingle, learn more about writing, and share our work with others. They’ve got open mic nights, a monthly Open House where you can drop in and chat with organizers and teachers (as well as an upcoming Local Authors Showcase on June 3!), classes galore, and they put together an annual anthology of members’ works called A Year in Ink. They’ve recently added a Little Free Library, where you can take or leave a book, which is super fun. And they’ve even been letting the San Diego chapter of the Nonfiction Authors Association hold our monthly meetings in their space. So, I really appreciate the work they do, and I’d love to be able to give back.

So far I have raised exactly $75 towards my $300 goal. I need your help to hit the $150 minimum by Sunday morning. Every little bit helps! So, can I ask you for a tiny favor?

If you’ve got $5 to spare, please kick in $5 towards this awesome local writers group. I will be writing a short book called A Day in the Life of a Writer on the day of the write-a-thon, and I’ll be happy to send you a copy of that for your trouble!

If you’ve got more than $5 to spare, here are some of my other options for…

Bonus Swag!


If you contribute $10 or more, I’ll send you an ebook of your choice from my current catalog
If you contribute $25 or more, I’ll send you the $5 and $10 perks, plus a print copy of the book I’m currently writing for the “A Story A Day” challenge: Mayday: Flash Fiction for Adrenaline Junkies
If you contribute $50 or more, I’ll send you the $5, $10 and $25 perks plus a Thank-You Package with at least one book from your favorite genre and some top-secret, Laura-approved swag

No cash to spare? No problem! Just share this post with your social media friends and fam, to help amplify the message. Tell them your writing buddy, Laura, asked you to share it!

Ready to contribute?

If you’re ready to contribute, just hit the donate button on this page.

To get your bonus swag, email me the name you contributed under and the address where you’d like me to send your package (if applicable). I’ll be sending out Thank-You Packages later on this week, and ebooks from the event within two weeks. (Hey, a gal’s gotta have some time to edit, right?) Copies of Mayday will be available on June 10.

Thanks for reading to the end of this post, and for your donations to a worthy cause!

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