Laura Roberts's Blog, page 36

Celebrating 100,000 words with a new toy

So, as I mentioned briefly in this week’s 365K Club check-in post… I hit my 100,000-word yearly goal!

That’s right: we’re only halfway through the year, and I’ve already met my target.

I think I need to take some time to let that really sink in, so that I can celebrate it.

I mean, really, how cool is this? As of June 24th, I’ve written 100,000 words in 2016. That is a LOT of writing.

Granted, many of the things I’ve written this year have been blog posts. Some of the writing has actually been for books I’m working on (yay!), and some of it has simply been personal journaling. But it all adds up! And the more you stick to an everyday writing habit and keep track of your daily word count, the easier it gets to keep on putting those words on the page.

So, in light of this momentous milestone, I’ve decided two things:

I will up my yearly goal to 200,000 words, which now means I’m halfway there, and
I will reward myself with a writerly present.

And yes, I’ve already chosen my reward: It’s a Hermes 3000 typewriter, made in Switzerland!

Looking good in seafoam green

I am super excited about this gift to myself, because it’s the second typewriter I have purchased, and it’s one I’ve had my eye on for quite a while – ever since a coworker bought a Hermes Baby off a blanket in NYC, in fact!

This one is cool, because – as you can see in this close-up picture – there are special keys for umlauts over the O, A and U.

Umlauts!

The first typewriter I bought was a Royal Quiet DeLuxe, which I purchased from a guy in Austin, Texas, who had listed it on Craigslist. (See, there are some benefits to living in a hipster haven…) It requires a good deal of force in order to impress each letter on the paper, and for some reason the top likes to pop open while you’re typing, which can be a bit irritating.

This one, however, was an eBay score. I was surprised that it was only listed for $50, and shipping wasn’t too steep since it was already in California, so I made a bid and won!

It does come with its own quirks, though. It seems there’s something amiss with the tabs or margin settings, as the carriage return bell rings about halfway across the page, and then you can’t move further to the right unless you press the “Mar. Rel.” key to release the margin. I’ve tried hitting “All Clear” and “Tab Clear,” to no avail. But if you hit “Mar. Rel.” you can continue on, and then move the lever to get to the next line.

There’s also a bit of weirdness there, because the typewriter doesn’t seem to want to go all the way to the left hand side of the page, either. But, once again, if you depress “Mar. Rel.” while moving the carriage back towards the left, you can get it to wherever you want it.

Strange, eh?

I may try looking up a user manual for this particular brand, to see if I can reset the margins/tabs and avoid having to press all these extra keys, but for now at least I’ve figured out how to get it to go all the way across the page.

Here’s a sample of some of my typing, so you can see the font:

Font face = ?

I’m also toying with the idea of offering custom stories, typewritten for a fee. I’ve already created one custom story for a friend, and it was a super fun writing exercise, so if you’re interested in commissioning a piece, stay tuned! I will post a “How to Order Typewritten Stories” page soon with further details.

What milestones have you celebrated this week?

Let me know in the comments!

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Best Day Ever!: 365K Club, week 25

It’s that time of the week again: time for another 365K Club word count check-in! Numbers, please…

June 18, Day 170: 463 words

June 19, Day 171: 1,626 words

June 20, Day 172: 1,205 words

June 21, Day 173: 323 words

June 22, Day 174: 323 words

June 23, Day 175: 323 words

June 24, Day 176: 417 words

That’s a grand total of 4,680 words for the week, 12,802 for the month, and 100,060 for the year!

*Dudes, I was only 89 words away from my YEARLY goal of 100,000 when I started writing this post. Okay, I am a rambling buffoon, but damned if I’m going to be docked my 100K word count this week by a mere 89 words. So, yes, I wrote additional words in this very post in order to meet my 100K goal. Crass? Crazy? Cheating? A Jedi needs not such judgments. (Nor does a ninja. See this week’s post for details.)

Yes, I decided I was going to write an additional 89 words in this post in order to hit my yearly goal in June. Because that’s how I roll. And because waiting until next week just wouldn’t do.

Have I mentioned I am a rather impatient and goal-oriented writer? Because I am. And if I didn’t hit 100K this week, things just might start to go askew in my universe. Indeed, the pirates might have become ninjas, and the ninjas might have become pirates! We couldn’t have that, could we?

Did I beat last week’s total?

Last week I wrote 2,973 words. For a change of pace, I blasted that total out of the water this week, by 1,707 words, woohoo!

Badges!

This week I received the “Best Day Ever” badge for describing an ordinary day in the life of my MC, Venus Delmar.

Goals for next week?

I met my goal last week of finishing up my sample chapter, but this weekend I need to edit that chapter in order to finish it off and obtain a contract. So, I’ll be working on that this weekend, followed by additions to my Chicago from A to Z book and the final chapters of my Mayday book project this week!

In other news…

This week is the final week to sign up for my mailing list, in order to have a shot at winning a $25 Amazon gift card in my June drawing! So, if you haven’t already, sign up now for your chance to win.

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The post Best Day Ever!: 365K Club, week 25 appeared first on Buttontapper Press.

Top 10 Reasons Ninjas Will Always Beat Pirates

Once upon a time I wrote a book about the ultimate showdown between pirates and ninjas. That book is called Ninjas of the 512, so as you may have guessed, I took up swords on the side of the ninjas.

After much polling and discussion with various people from all walks of life, however, it has come to my attention that this is simply WRONG.

“The pirates are supposed to be the good guys,” everybody complains.

Seriously? SERIOUSLY?!

I mean, pirates smell awful! They’ve got scurvy! They steal your money and your books!!

What, in darkness’s name, is there to love about pirates?

Okay, sure, they’ve got treasure. And booty (which may or may not be the same thing, depending on how well developed your sense of humor is). And rum. And sometimes, as with the Dread Pirate Roberts, they may be swashbuckling.

The Dread Pirate Roberts, aka Farm Boy, aka Westley

But I still think ninjas are way better than pirates, so in an attempt to explain myself, here’s my Top 10 Reasons Ninjas Will Always Beat Pirates:

10 – Ninjas are stealthy

That’s right: they lurk in the shadows. They blend into their surroundings. They’re shape-shifters, leaving no trace. And you’ll never see a ninja unless s/he wants to be seen.

9 – Ninjas are always plural

Technically, the plural of ninja is ninja. But, since most people in the western world don’t get that, I usually end up writing “ninjas” anyway. When you stop and think about it, however, that’s all part of their stealth: you’ll never really know if there’s only one ninja or several ninja waiting in the woods, will you? Kind of like the sand people walking single file to hide their numbers, ninja are always plural.

8 – Ninjas look cool

Dressed all in black, what’s not to love about the ninja uniform? It’s always in fashion, slimming, and there’s no worry about whether or not your pants match your shirt. Simplicity, yo.

7 – Ninjas have cool gear

Have you even read my list of 69 ways ninjas can kill you? It’s all there. From shuriken (throwing stars) to nunchaku to wakizashi (swords), you’ve undoubtedly seen some of these in action in your average martial arts film. But ninjas also come equipped with plenty of explosive devices and blinding powders, not to mention specialized equipment like the kusarigama – which is, basically, a sickle on a chain. And, if all else fails, they’ll beat you in taijutsu – unarmed combat. Compared to the pirate’s musket and cutlass, ninjas outclass these guys by a million to one.

6 – Ninjas are tricksters

Even without their gear, ninjas are dangerous. They love to hide in plain sight, and adore sneaking into places described as impenetrable. They love to play tricks on people, whether with misdirection, mind games, or straight-up explosives.

5 – Ninjas are strong

I mean this both physically and mentally. After all, someone who’s been waiting in silence to spring a sneak attack on an enemy for a week is pretty much the master of his or her domain. Where does this strength come from? Years of training.

4 – Ninjas are masters of disguise

Ninjas can imitate just about anyone, usually to infiltrate an organization, but sometimes to avoid unnecessary bloodshed. They’ve been known to impersonate traveling monks, in order to pass checkpoints in the forest, or homeless drunks, to avoid being messed with by would-be thieves. They can even swap gender, sneaking into harems and groups of geisha to access the rich and powerful at play. Wherever you are, the ninjas can find you. In fact, there’s probably at least one ninja in your group right now.

3 – Ninjas are spies

Ninjas were the original spies. Tasked with fun things considered “beneath” the snobby samurai with their code of conduct, ninjas engaged in espionage, sabotage, infiltration, assassination and even guerrilla warfare. You want to know who really inspired the covert operatives of today? NINJAS.

2 – Ninjas are mysterious

Ninjas may or may not engage in magical, mythical behaviors. Most of the stuff they purportedly do is the stuff of legend, but it still sounds pretty cool: walking on water, controlling nature, being able to turn invisible at will. If nothing else, these tales only add to their mystique, and build them up as the ultimate fighter in their enemies’ minds. What’s not to love?

1 – Ninjas are the good guys we need

Think of Batman in the Dark Knight movies: he’s a ninja, and yet he’s also the hero. Indeed, I cast ninjas as the good guys in my story for the same reason. While most people think of ninjas as nothing more than mobs of faceless assassins, this is simply an outdated version of the truth. Though they may not have adhered to a code of ethics like the samurai, they did believe in training. And what’s better when you’re in an unpredictable situation, training or codes of honor?

Hey, we can’t all be morally upright citizens all the time, and ninjas are built for adaptability in uncertain times. That’s why ninjas are the heroes in my story: they’re willing to do what others won’t. Does that make them confusing and occasionally very, very dangerous? Absolutely. But I wouldn’t have them any other way.

Life isn’t black and white. It’s NINJA.

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How to set up an accountability group & get shit done #MondayMotivation

I’ve been exploring different types of motivational tools, tips and tricks recently, and by far one of the most useful is the Accountability Group.

In case you’ve never heard of them, the basic idea of an accountability group is to form a small group of people with similar goals, who will work together to keep everyone on task.

Sounds simple, right?

Simple, maybe. Easy? Nope!

But, as with all things in life that are useful, the beauty of the accountability group is that its whole purpose is encouragement. So even if you fail to meet your goals for the week, you’re not immediately cast out as a failure, shamed in front of your peers, or otherwise treated like a jerk. Instead, the group will ask you questions about what happened, why you weren’t able to meet your goals, and give you some ideas and suggestions about how to accomplish them next time.

Pretty cool, right?

So, I’ve been part of an accountability group that formed out of a critique group I’ve been running, and it’s been really great. There are five of us now, and we’ve decided that since we’re all at different stages of the writing process, we will make three goals per two-week period, and then meet up in person over coffee every other Friday to discuss our progress.

Our goals can be about research, writing, marketing, or pieces of longer term goals (something like finishing a certain number of chapters or pages in a book).

For instance, this week my goals are:

Finish and submit the sample chapter for a work-for-hire book;
Update my mailing list, so that a freebie sends straight from MailChimp instead of Google Drive; and
Complete my research on a commercial fiction project so that I can start writing my next book.

I’m about halfway through with #1, I finished #2 today (shortly after mailing the group), and I need to get started on #3.

I like to set fairly do-able goals, so that I feel more accomplished with checking those things off.

But it’s also important to set “stretch” goals, too, so next week I’ll probably plan to write a certain number of words in my different book projects, and then get into writing gear.

Keeping everyone on task

I also just did some research on accountability groups, to make sure mine stays productive! Here are two articles I found helpful:

PickTheBrain.com: How to Set Up an Accountability Group and Get Serious Results
Fast Company: What You Need to Know to Create an Accountability Group That Works

Based on some of their tips, I’ve decided to start emailing the group every Sunday with three pieces of info:

The date of our next Meetup;
Any success stories we can share; and
My list of goals for the week

Then everyone can reply to the group email with their own successes (or failures, if they need advice!) and goals for the week, so we’ll have each others’ lists when we actually meet up.

I’m sure there are plenty of high-tech ways to do this (the two articles I mentioned above had links to some apps), but since we’re trying to keep things simple, that should do. We also have a private Facebook group, for those of us who aren’t avoiding this particular social media platform, and that works well for sharing links to articles and other ideas that we think may help each other out.

The trickiest bit, so far, has definitely been figuring out what to do with group members who aren’t meeting their goals. We definitely don’t want to kick people out of the group, so we’ve been probing each other a lot about why we’re not following through, what we can try next week, and giving each other a lot of moral support.

As they say, it takes time to build habits – good or bad! So we’re still figuring it out as we go.

In the meantime, I’ve been getting a lot of great tips from my fellow group members, and I feel like we’ve all been trading good information to keep ourselves motivated and positive.

And now it’s time to get to work on some of those goals!

Do you have an accountability group or partner?

How do you keep each other on track with goals, and what do you do if the other group members don’t meet their goals?

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DISARM: 365K Club, week 24

It’s that time of the week again: time for another 365K Club word count check-in! Numbers, please…

June 11, Day 163: 89 words

June 12, Day 164: 477 words

June 13, Day 165: 530 words

June 14, Day 166: 346 words

June 15, Day 167: 478 words

June 16, Day 168: 607 words

June 17, Day 169: 446 words

That’s a grand total of 2,973 words for the week, 7,869 for the month, and 95,371 for the year!

Did I beat last week’s total?

Last week I wrote 3,509 words, so with this week’s low numbers (I mean, 89?!) I didn’t hit my goal of breaking that total. The 89, by the way, was a poem.

Badges!

This week I won the “Odd Character Trait” badge, for revealing that my MC Venus Delmar, has the superhuman ability to run in stilettos on cobblestones.

Goals for next week?

One of my big goals for next week is to finish a sample chapter I’ve been working on for a work-for-hire project. I need to get it done so that I can (hopefully) get a contract from the publisher, and then get started on the rest of the book. So, that’s one reason my word counts have been low this week: research!

There’s also been another good reason for my slowed productivity…

In other news…

This past Sunday I wrote a blog post about the Orlando Pulse nightclub shootings, urging my readers to contact their representatives and tell them that enough is enough. Thankfully, it seems that many people did, and the Democrats staged a 15-hour filibuster on Wednesday, which ultimately ended in them earning the right for Congress to actually vote on a bill that will tighten gun laws in the U.S.

If this sounds slightly crazy to you – because it is already each representative’s JOB to vote on every bill that comes through Congress – then believe me, we’re on the same page. Filibustering for the right to do your job? The world has truly gone mad.

But, it’s also a small victory in the fight against gun violence. And it’s something I was excited to see, because I’ve decided to put together an anthology in support of this anti-violence movement. It’s going to be called DISARM, inspired by the following Kurt Vonnegut quote:

I’ve already had one person unsubscribe from my mailing list because I’ve chosen to take this stand. And frankly, good riddance to them. Because if you honestly believe that any machine is worth more than a human life, I have nothing more to say to you.

If, however, you’d like to learn more about this anthology, including details on what kinds of submissions we’re looking for and where to send them, please see my post at Black Heart Magazine.

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First Lines Friday: Lolita

One of the most (in)famous – and, to this day, still controversial – novels of all time features this first line: “Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins.”

It’s (obviously) from Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov.

Considering the rest of the book is about an older man raping a child as he takes her on a forced road trip across the U.S., this is a pretty bold opening line, wouldn’t you agree?

Please don’t mansplain to me why this is, indeed, “the only convincing love story of our century,” as Vanity Fair had the balls to say about it. (And how the publisher seems to delight in placing on the book’s cover, right next to the taunting nymph-child image…) Instead, I suggest reading this Brain Pickings article about the cover art and Nabokov’s own feelings about it.

Here is a much more telling moment from the book, when Humbert seems to actually, finally acknowledge his own monstrous behavior:

We had been everywhere. We had really seen nothing. And I catch myself thinking today that our long journey had only defiled with a sinuous trail of slime the lovely, trustful, dreamy, enormous country that by then, in retrospect, was no more to us than a collection of dog-eared maps, ruined tour books, old tires, and her sobs in the night — every night, every night — the moment I feigned sleep.

But does he really admit to anything? Any guilt, any ownership or responsibility for his own actions?

He seems much more troubled about the way he has treated America than his young victim, Lolita.

If you still need more incentive to read (or re-read) this book, you should know that it contains a thoroughly unreliable narrator, with whom you will wrestle if you have any conscience at all, as he is a slick sadist, a rapist, an unrepentant child molester. It’s a piece of literature that must be read with a critical eye, and a finely-tuned bullshit detector – preferably in the company of women, so you can also hear their side of this story, which almost always prompts stories of their own abuse at the hands of men just like Humbert, and a debate about whether this book should be considered art or just pornography.

Indeed, you may also wonder whether the telling of Humbert Humbert’s tale is truly necessary, in a world where rapists are still considered “victims,” where a rapist’s father would dare to print an open letter suggesting his son was the victim in a trial with a quite open-and-shut case of assault on an innocent (and unconscious) woman, where the true victims of such assaults must stand trial as if they are the ones who have committed crimes – yet the perpetrators are never even once questioned about their motives, intent, or actions.

Hopefully, you have already read the Stanford victim’s letter to her rapist, which provides a stark contrast to Humbert’s purple prose. You may have also read John Pavlovitz’s open letter, a fellow father’s response to Brock Turner’s father.

These are far more important pieces, in modern-day America, because they shine a light on exactly what is wrong with our country, in plain and simple terms.

Read Lolita, and think about rape culture in our country.

What’s YOUR favorite first line?

Leave a comment below and your favorite first line could be featured in an upcoming Friday post!

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Writing for change: #EndGunViolenceNOW

I woke up this morning to the news that America’s newest (i.e. most recent) deadliest shooting took place last night in an Orlando nightclub.

This is unacceptable.

As a nation, we’ve dropped the ball on gun control too many times already. (Most notably, after Sandy Hook.) And, as one of my friends shared on social media, I think this sentiment is apt:

“Every time we leave our laws unchanged WE are the ones who make their deaths meaningless.”

I don’t really care what your personal opinions are on gun control, gun owners’ “rights,” or the gay community as a whole. None of that matters. What does matter is getting the guns off our streets. (And, yes, I do recognize that this very large, hot-button issue also contains tons of other issues, including education, anger management, LGBT rights and tons more, but I’m not going to get into ANY of that right now, and I would hope you can understand why.)

My one and only point today is to urge you, my fellow Americans, to write a letter to your Congresspeople to insist on gun control. To call them. To tweet to them. To take action, instead of remaining silent.

Here’s a sample letter that I sent to all of my official representatives, which I urge you to cut & paste and share as necessary:

Dear [Representative],

Today 50 people have been shot by an assault rifle in a gay nightclub in Orlando, Florida.

Today we, as a nation, need to get Gun Control right. FINALLY.

It’s time to stop letting the NRA and the gun lobbyists rule Washington — and thus all of America.

It’s time to buy back the guns, like Australia did after their nation’s deadliest mass shooting.

This is a solution that WORKS. Here is an article from the Washington Post demonstrating its effectiveness: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2012/08/02/did-gun-control-work-in-australia/

The key takeaway from this article is: “The law banned semiautomatic and automatic rifles and shotguns. It also instituted a mandatory buy-back program for newly banned weapons.”

The other key? SPEED OF IMPLEMENTATION.

We cannot wait for another mass murder.

We cannot wait for another random act of violence, or killing spree.

We cannot wait to determine the cause.

We know the cause: massive numbers of guns, easily and legally obtainable.

Let’s get these guns off the streets, out of the hands of would-be killers, and away from our people.

The time to act is NOW.

Please let me know how you plan to use this information to remove guns from our nation’s streets, ASAP.

Your Constituent,

Laura Roberts

Need to find YOUR representatives?

Here’s how! Click these links to find…

Your Senators
Your Representative
Pre-written tweets you can send to both Senators and Representatives

Hat tips to Hannah Hart for sharing Nicole Silverberg’s Medium article, which contains these links.

 

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Joining groups & writing to market: 365K Club, week 23

Featured image: photo credit: 6.07-Sansa’s Letter to Littlefinger

It’s that time of the week again: time for another 365K Club word count check-in! Numbers, please…

June 4, Day 156: 243 words

June 5, Day 157: 371 words

June 6, Day 158: 319 words

June 7, Day 159: 1,191 words

June 8, Day 160: 560 words

June 9, Day 161: 445 words

June 10, Day 162: 380 words

That’s a grand total of 3,509 words for the week, 4,896 for the month, and 92,398 for the year!

Did I beat last week’s total?

Last week I wrote 3,562 words, so unfortunately I did not beat last week’s total. This does, however, fire me up to beat that number next week!

Badges!

No official badges this week, but I’m working on my personal Group Joiner badge, since I’ve been attending various writing groups and making new friends (and clients) locally. If you have any need for an editor, be sure to check out my Editorial Services page!

Goals for next week?

This week I read Chris Fox’s Write to Market, and I’ve been pondering his ideas about writing to a specific niche, rather than writing books before thinking through a marketing plan. I really like this idea, but I’m not quite sure which genre I’m most interested in at this point, so my goal for next week is to do some research, using the book’s exercises as a starting point, go figuring out exactly what type of books I’d like to try writing in this vein.

In other news…

In case you missed my announcement last week, one  of my poems, “Change and the Great Beyond,” is included in the new charity anthology, Stardust, Always, which is both a tribute to David Bowie and Alan Rickman and a way to support cancer research. All proceeds from the book’s sales will benefit St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital, so if you’d like to help make this world a better place and really give cancer the finger, please buy a copy of the book. The official release date is tomorrow, June 5, but you can pre-order today!

And if you still haven’t signed up for my mailing list, go read about my new super-duper freebies – for subscribers only – and how to have a shot at winning a $25 Amazon gift card.

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First Lines Friday: Beautiful Losers

Inspired by my fellow 10 Minute Novelist, Sara Marschand, who asked the group if we had any favorite first lines from a novel, I’ve decided to feature some of my favorites every Friday. In graphic form!

Because… why not?

My favorite novel’s first line is: “Catherine Tekakwitha, who are you?”

It’s from Beautiful Losers by Leonard Cohen.

It may not be the most beautiful line in the novel, but it does get your mind wandering, doesn’t it?

Here’s my favorite exchange from the book:

Hear is not the right word. I became a telephone. Edith was the electrical conversation that went through me.

—Well, what was it, what was it?

—Machinery.

—Machinery?

—Ordinary eternal machinery.

—And?

—Ordinary eternal machinery.

—Is that all you are going to say?

—Ordinary eternal machinery like the grinding of the stars.

—That’s better.

—That was a distortion of the truth which, I see, suits you very well. I distorted the truth to make it easier for you. The truth is: ordinary eternal machinery.

If you still need more incentive to read this book, you should know that it contains a sentient vibrator that rebels against its master. How’s that for challenging literature?

It was also the first voted off the “Canada Reads” island in 2005.

And the damn thing turns 50 this year!

Read it. It’ll knock your block off.

What’s YOUR favorite first line?

Leave a comment below and your favorite first line could be featured in an upcoming Friday post!

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The Iron Writer: Poetry Edition

Yes, it’s true: The Iron Writer has started a poetry competition!

The first round started off simply enough with haiku.

Here’s what I wrote, based on the theme “bake“:

fuzzy head, coffee,

scent of bread rising, morning

melting like butter

And yes, this is more of a senryu than a haiku, since my poem isn’t expressly about nature. But, then again, neither was the theme.

Last week’s challenge was to write a limerick.

Now, the stereotypical limerick about a man from Nantucket has been expressly banned, due to its naughty language, so here’s what I wrote instead:

San Diego Spice

There once was a dude named Diego

Who ate a burrito muy fuego

The chiles they burned

While his stomach it churned

’Til he finally yelled “hasta luego!”

Yes, my Spanish is reprehensible, and for that I apologize. To make up for it (or to make enemies in even more countries), here’s a terrible bilingual poem in Quebecois French as well!

Québécois Cuss

There once was a cat named Clique-Claque

Who enjoyed hunting mice in the back

She’d pretend to play dead

And then bring them to bed

Where her owner would scream “Tabarnacle!”

Of course, after I mailed in my first limerick, the Iron Poet wrote back to remind me that this week’s theme was “hump” – which I hadn’t used at all!

So I wrote this one instead:

Wednesday Woes

’Twas Wednesday, the Happy Hump Day

a time usually labeled as gay

Jill and Jane both slept through

all the hullabaloo

missing this week’s chance to play!

The limerick form really does lend itself to swearing and silliness, so I think I may end up writing more of these in the future.

Have you ever written a limerick?

Care to share? I promise I won’t mind if you cuss.

P.S. Feel free to vote for your favorites from this week’s crop of limericks at the Iron Poet!

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