Sarah Barnard's Blog, page 19

Love's First Kiss.

Over at The Writing Network, there is a weekly challenge. It's aimed to stretch writing skills and make you try new things.

Last week I wrote a death for "The Killing Game", and shared another that was already written. This week the challenge is to write "Love's First Kiss."

Just remember that romance, slush and fluff really isn't my "thing"…. So, I really wasn't going to go for the traditional was I?

He paced, frustrated at the unending waiting. His hands balled into fists, he listened to the mewls of pain, to soft calls of encouragement.

There was nothing he could do, and as someone used to action he railed against the helplessness. A real danger he could fight, he could defend against. But this….. The muscles in his jaw clenched and he glared at the low chuckle he heard from his brother.

"Peace, my mother can cope." His brother lounged nearby. "She's done this many times, all will be well."

He stopped in mid step. There was a new sound. Hope lit his face as the door opened and he was beckoned inside.

Tears began to flow as he stared.

"She's beautiful," he whispered as he knelt beside the bed, reaching out to lay his large, hard calloused hand on the tiny form of the baby. A tiny hand flexed and curled round his finger.

"May I?" He asked, eyes filled with wonder as he took the baby into his arms. He raised her up to see her more closely, pressed his lips to her soft skin, still smeared with birth but so much sweeter for it. She was so tiny, so fragile, so delicate, and she was the whole of his world. He cradled her against his shoulder so he could breathe in her scent, and so he could gift her more kisses.

This is part of a scene from Child of the Portal, that I never got round to writing in full. It got skipped because I was following action somewhere else at the time and we rejoin these characters after the event.

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Summer Solstice.

The water had started to rise in Lily's garden early in the morning, as the sun rose and warmed the grass with the warm hope of the longest day of the year.

From the opening of the final chapter of Child of the Portal.

June 21st, in the Northern hemisphere, is Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year. This is the day when summer is at her height and the sun is closest to us – not that you can tell by looking out of the window here today. It's raining.

I chose this for my release day because the final events in Child of the Portal happen on this date.

Some of you are already reading it and you may already know why this is significant. If you do, and if you needed tissues to read with, then I'm sorry. But to those who have asked, "Who else did you kill off then?" I didn't kill anyone, I just wrote a story, and it really does make me smile to know that my words have that profound an effect on you.

There will be other books, I promise. Whether they will be set in this world, with these characters is another question.

Child of the Portal is now fully live on Amazon UK (Kindle), Amazon US (Kindle) and Smashwords (All ebook formats).

I hope you enjoy it.

Feedback, as always, is very welcome.

Solstice Blessing to all of you, may the turning of the year bring the changes you need.

Don't forget to add your comments for the draw tonight – for the final 2 launch copies of Child of the Portal.

Goodbye, Sam, Lily, I'm going to miss you.

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Child of the Portal , Ch4: The Funeral.

I sobbed when I wrote this, just as much as when I wrote Sam's death and not nearly as much as when I'd finished the book.

You've been warned, grab tissues or hankies before reading.

A short note though. I didn't kill anyone, I just recorded what unfolded in my head as I wrote. Sam never wanted to be in this one fully, but she needed to leave the ripples of her passing to colour the whole book. I let her take her own path. Other characters, similarly, told their own story.

The Funeral.

[image error]It was a little under a fortnight after Lily had brought Sam home and the weather was cool but not cold. The chapel at the crematorium was a brick building panelled inside with soft yellow wood. The chairs were the same colour. Soft classical music oozed from hidden speakers. Kate didn't remember choosing any music, maybe it was standard. The floor was the same pale wood but there was a runner of gentle green running down between the two sides of chairs, mostly empty. A smattering of familiar faces stood or sat waiting there. Kate noticed Miss Kinnersley the consultant and some faces that she thought might have been staff from the hospital. Rebekah sat towards the back with her husband at her side, she looked tired. Kate could almost feel Jack's hand on her arm and his quiet, supportive presence beside her. But he was not there. Lily was at her side. The older children had not wished to be here and Kate and Jack had felt the need to respect their wishes. So Jack had stayed at home with all five children.

Kate heard her shoes echo in the vast empty space. A man dressed in a sober black suit motioned them forwards. They would sit at the front. The coffin would follow when all had entered. She and Lily moved to the front row and took a seat. A pitifully small handful of people followed them and sat where they wished, scattered through the chairs on both sides. Kate stared at the coffin as it was carried past her, realising the standard pall bearers were not the men and women carrying the box that looked too small to contain Sam. Her view was blurred by tears but she couldn't tear her eyes away. They were dressed in dark clothing but it was homespun, neat, but definitely not suits. A tall man walked behind them, his hands tapping out a slow rhythm on a small hand drum. His eyes were fixed on the coffin and his face was set in a hard expression, angrily grieving. They placed the coffin on the plinth prepared before the shallow curtains and formed what looked like an honour guard to either side, pausing there for a moment, before moving to the back of the room. Kate turned to Lily with the question in her eyes and what she read on Lily's face made her anger rise.

"Who the hell is that?" she hissed.

"Tell you later," came back a whisper "It's fine, I brought them."

"No, it's not fine," Kate murmured back but Lily had turned away, head bowed and shoulders shaking as she sank back into her chair. Kate felt her legs shake and she sat too, unable to trust herself to stand. Barely able to breathe through the tightness in her chest, Kate stared into space through a blur of tears as she listened to words spoken that she blocked from her memory almost as soon as they had been uttered.

The drum persisted quietly with its complex and insistently woven rhythm throughout the short service. No hymns were sung, no prayers made. A short oration was given by the minister, a basic accounting of Sam's life and those she left behind. Kate and Lily, knowing who Sam had become, had chosen a humanist service and kept it very simple. Another remembrance would be held privately later. At least one, probably many. With the appearance of this group Kate suspected that more ceremony would take place through the Portal. They had taken Sam from her. If they didn't exist, if their world didn't exist, then Sam would still be here. Kate felt the tears begin afresh then, running over her cheeks. The curtains closed around the coffin and Kate still couldn't take her eyes away. The drumming man never silenced his drum and he and his friends waited as the coffin took its final journey. He murmured some words that Kate could not catch and, as the coffin disappeared from view, his fingers stopped tapping on the drum and the room filled with his silence.

Lily put her arm round Kate's shoulder and coaxed her upright so they could leave. Kate felt a fresh tissue being placed in her hand and used it to wipe her face. As she walked out, Kate felt herself wobble slightly and Lily steered her to a bench resting under a tree. Glad of the shade and the quiet, Kate sat. She watched as Lily walked to speak to the unexpected pall bearers. They greeted her with quiet dignity and respect. Kate didn't have the energy to get up and find out who they were and Lily led them all around a corner and out of sight. The flare of light, mostly hidden in the glare of late Autumn sunlight, wasn't noticeable to anyone not expecting it. Kate assumed she'd never see them again and was more than a little relieved when Lily came back round the corner alone. The other funeral attendees had wandered over, mumbled condolences, and left awkwardly. Lily was walking towards her and Kate suddenly needed to be moving, to be anywhere but sitting outside the crematorium where smoke was already rising from the chimney. She stood and joined Lily and they walked back towards the car.

"How did it get to this, Lily?" Kate asked with her face red and puffy from weeping but dry now she felt she'd run out of tears. "What happened?"

Lily shivered, letting her magic hold her together. "We need a long evening and a large bottle of wine for that question my friend," Lily replied. "Come on, in you get." She opened the car door and waved Kate into the back of the large, black car. "Let's go home." Kate shrank into one small corner of the large car and stayed there all the way home, gazing blankly out of the window. Lily sat where she landed, not wanting to move and Kate didn't look over to her, both allowed the numbness to wrap them and protect them.

Eventually they pulled up outside Kate's home where Jack's car and Lily's were parked nose to tail along the kerb. Kate opened her door and stood waiting for Lily who was speaking to the driver. Lily got out and came to Kate.

"Will you come in for a bit?" Kate asked.

"I'll have to." Lily smiled gently.

"What?" Kate looked sharply at her friend, confused.

"Andrew's in there. Jack has all of our children today, remember?" Lily took Kate's arm and led her into the house. The bubble of quiet calm that had formed around them was broken as they opened the back door and the noise of five children playing hit the two women. The girls hurtled out past Lily and Kate, heading for the garden. The raucous bedlam of four boys, racing cars via the X-Box, filtered through from the living room.

"Go ahead." Lily gently pushed Kate towards the door with one hand as she reached for the kettle with the other. A glimmer of a smile twitched Kate's mouth and she walked unsteadily to the doorway into the living room. Lily filled the kettle and switched it on. She watched Kate lean on the door frame to look into the living room where Jack and the boys were playing together. She saw the edge of a smile creep onto Kate's face and turned away as Jack came to embrace his grieving wife. Andrew could clearly be heard in the living room so, rather than disturb him, Lily carried on making the tea she knew Kate needed. As she popped the lid onto the steaming tea pot she turned to see Kate leaning her head on Jack's shoulder. Her eyes were closed tight against the reality that was so incredibly painful today. Kate's eyes slowly opened and she smiled at Lily, a sad, bleak smile that said she'd be fine. Eventually. Kate pulled away from Jack and came to accept the proffered mug of hot, sweet tea. Placing the mug on the table she opened a cupboard to dig out some home-made cakes.

"You don't bake?" Lily said, incredulous. "Who made those? They look and smell delicious."

"I thought it was time I learned." Kate blushed. "I've been practising." She put the tin of cakes on the table and sat next to Jack. Lily extended her senses a little and felt the confusion and relief mixed in with the grief coming from Kate. Eventually that would turn to a need to find answers. But just now the pain and grief flowing from her was being carefully held in check by the wave of numbness that swept over them all. Lily knew her own reaction would come later, when she was alone. After a long, awkward silence, during which they drank tea and nibbled at cakes, Lily rose from the table and went to fetch Andrew from the clutches of the X-Box and she took him home.

~oOo~

Drummer, Dove, Tracker, Tracker's brother, and two other Eysi walked from the flaring Portal and onto the grass that was left bare in the heart of the Eysi settlement. The Portal closed softly behind them as soon as the last foot had left the light and was safely free of the magic. Lilith did not follow. Drummer had hoped that she might but he knew, deep in his heart, that she would not.

Now, he finally believed it, finally felt it. He knew she was dead but the reality hadn't hit him until he'd stood and watched as the box she lay in was sent to be consumed by hidden flames. The ritual was wrong, the location was wrong but somehow it was right too.

Drummer waited until the next morning and then he made them build a second pyre for her, insisting that even without her body they should observe their own rituals and send her spirit onwards. Some told him he was wrong, that it was a waste of good firewood that they would need through the coming winter. One lone voice muttered that it would bring them ill fortune. But Drummer began to build the pyre anyway, starting as the sun rose and on his own, not forcing anyone else to join him. He layered some good, dry wood with the green and wove in fragrant herbs that he knew she had liked. By the time the sun was directly overhead he had been joined by most of the settlement and together they worked as the pyre rose to above Drummer's hips and until he declared it to be large enough.

Elder gathered Sam's clothes and the warm wool blanket from her bed, the blanket they would have wrapped her in for this. Healer stood with Elder as she laid them on the top of the pyre, a small pile of belongings that were all that was left of Sam in their world. Healer brought the flaming brand from the fire that burned almost continuously at the heart of the Eysi settlement. Drummer nodded for Healer to thrust it into the dry heart of the pyre to set it ablaze as the sun sank behind the trees.

That was chapter 4, and that's all you're getting. If you want to know what happens next, what Hiann does, what happens with Lily's realm, how Lily and Kate cope…… You'll have to read the rest of the book.

I'll be drawing a final 2 book winners this evening, Tues June 21st, there'll be one more short post here during the day, and then I'm going to take a short break. I'll leave you in peace to read…

Child of the Portal is now fully live on Amazon UK (Kindle), Amazon US (Kindle) and Smashwords (All ebook formats).

I hope you enjoy it.

Feedback, as always, is very welcome.

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Child of the Portal – ch3, Sam.

It's a long one today, and some of you may need tissues.

Sam.

[image error]Sam stood beneath the slender tree on the edge of the clearing that surrounded the ancient oak that had served as a focus for the magic for generations. Her eyes were vacant, staring into nothing. Her hands worked ceaselessly, winding round each other. She raised a hand towards the open grass and dropped it again. Her head shook from side to side in a wordless denial. Sam squeezed her eyes closed and tears leaked from the corners. As had become her habit, her feet were bare in the damp grass that was long enough to be starting to soak into the ends of her trousers. Her hair was tied back. A hand reached up and pulled her hair free from the thong restraining it. She distractedly finger-combed the kinks out and let it fall onto her shoulders. She brushed it back from her eyes.

Sam looked down at her hands. They were shaking and she flexed the fingers, then turned them palm up and examined the palms. She drew a breath and began to open a Portal. Her face screwed up in pain and she abruptly stopped and closed the half formed gateway.

"I can't. I'm sorry, Lily, I broke it too well. Oh Gods, but I need you. I need you all. I can't live with this, not on my own. I can't. It's killing me," Sam whispered as she summoned the power again. She dropped to her knees and knelt in the grass and laid a hand flat on the earth. She took a breath and closed her eyes. Then she simply opened and let herself pour out. She felt herself spreading like water throughout the land, oozing through the soil, into every tree, every plant, touching every soul in the realm. Sam released the mantle of Mistress and the power that went with the title. The land would be its own ruler now. It wasn't enough. Her knees were damp and starting to get stiff. Almost, she reconsidered her actions, her choice. Sam sank her own strength into the land and then followed it with her own life force. She felt her self become distant and calm as the last dregs of her self slowly seeped away. Her heartbeat slowed, faltered. A turning point was reached. Sam passed it without a second thought and carried on allowing herself to pour forth into the earth.

A vague awareness of cold and pain buzzed round her like flies. She ignored them, using a tendril of magic to still the pain she felt in her body. A body she no longer felt particularly attached to. A body that eventually slowly slumped to the earth and lay still.

She let herself flow outwards, seeking the still torn areas of land and allowing her essence to fill and heal them. With her last remaining breath Sam flung out a farewell to those she felt closest to and all the magic she had taken from others or imposed on anyone was returned or negated. She felt a moment of regret that Kate was almost deaf and blind to the magic and with the Portals sealed she couldn't reach her. She should have told Kate. Then she simply let go. She willingly let go of the pain, of the turmoil, of all uncertainty. She relinquished her hold on memories both good and bad. As part of the deal she also let go of her heartbeat, of breathing. She let go of living. That which had been Sam spread out across the realm like oil on water until it was so thin it was no longer anything. Her body rested quietly at the foot of the tree and the final breath sighed from her open lips into the grass.

~oOo~

The Naiad startled in her stream. Her face froze and her eyes widened in shock as the ripples from Sam's actions hit her. Then she started to shake, tears pouring down her face and she sank down, becoming one with her water.

~oOo~

Bound to Sam as he was, Drummer felt it too. He hadn't yet left the Eysi camp in search of her. He sat suddenly, his legs refusing to hold him up. His faced paled and his eyes went wide. His head shook from side to side in mute denial of the knowledge that had just arrived, unwanted, in his head. The markings on his arm faded as he watched and as the life of the one who marked him faded, Elder at his shoulder watched in stunned silence.

~oOo~

It was the afternoon of Autumn Equinox, and although Susan was home from school after a short stomach bug, the others were out on a school trip, and Lily and Kate were talking quietly.

Kate shivered, suddenly cold down her back.

Lily paused halfway across Kate's kitchen, her head cocked to one side as if listening, her eyes lost focus.

"Shit. No!" Lily exclaimed as if she'd been struck and the mugs she held crashed to the floor, falling from numb fingers, shattering and spilling hot tea across the kitchen floor.

"Lily?" Kate was at her side as Lily started to shake.

"No, no, she wouldn't. Oh please no." Lily muttered incoherently stunned by something she couldn't bring herself to believe. Kate wrapped an arm round Lily and steered her towards the table as Susan burst in, carrying the carved dragon that Jack had given Sam for the single Christmas she had spent at home before leaving again to rule Lily's world beyond the Portals.

Susan held out the dragon to Lily, who stared through it in shock. "She needs you." Susan took Lily's hand and placed the dragon into her palm and wrapped unresisting fingers around it.

Lily stared down at the carving and images of Sam sitting at the same table flooded into her and she felt the spreading warmth of magic released from binding and the dragon began to glow. Lily clutched it tightly and raced to the lawn as she thoughtlessly flung open a Portal, using the magic surging through the disintegrating dragon and she shoved the fragments into her pocket as she ran. She didn't pause or change speed as she sped through, simply trusting that she would get through.

"Kate, wait here, I'll be back. Sam, hang on. I'm coming!" she yelled. Once across the first threshold Lily slowed as the air grew thicker. She took the few steps needed to cross through and hoped she might be in time.

As she stepped through the Portal, Lily knew it was too late. She felt it as she crossed over and stepped onto the grass of the other world. She braced herself and looked around. Her eye was drawn to the grass beneath a tree to one side. Her breath caught in her throat and she almost bolted back to the still open Portal behind her, but her feet held fast to the spot.

The form lying under the tree was too still. The air was chill and damp. Lily stopped and stared, the wet grass seeping damp through her shoes and onto her feet. Her eyes wide, hands clenched to fists at her sides, her mouth worked soundlessly. Her head shook in a silent denial of what was obvious.

The sun crept through the leaves to cast a gentle, soft light over the body. It was face-down in the grass. Shadows lay dark around the still, silent form. One arm lay flung out towards the tree and the other was mostly wrapped around the head. The hair spread out like a sunburst across the wet grass. The feet were bare. Tunic and trousers were dark with the damp from the grass. The rich, damp smell of the earth filled Lily's senses.

Lily stared. There was no aura to be seen, no flicker of life. Lily stepped towards the body slowly, hoping to spot some movement, anything. Time seemed to stand still. She had no awareness of anything else; her full attention was on the tree and the body. Lily knelt and tentatively reached out a hand. The flesh beneath the cloth on the shoulder was cool, living warmth fading. Closing her eyes and hoping against hope Lily gently pulled the body over to lie on its back. As the arm fell away Sam's face was exposed. Her mouth was slightly open and her eyes closed. Through reflex rather than hope, Lily checked the angle of Sam's jaw for a pulse, laid a hand over her mouth to see if there was any breath. Finally she laid her ear to Sam's chest to check for the faintest possibility of a heart beat. There was nothing. Lily cast her own awareness wide, looking for even the faintest trace of Sam but there was nothing to be found, only the faintest hint of a memory of an aura. Even so, Lily tried to gather it and pull Sam back but it was like trying to catch smoke. Lily cradled Sam's face in her hand, her thumb stroking Sam's cheek.

"Oh, Sam," Lily groaned, tears starting to course down her cheeks. "Oh no. Why?" She cradled Sam's rapidly cooling corpse in her arms and rocked as she wept. For a long time Lily knelt there until her mind began to clear into practicality.

Hiann watched, unseen, from the shadow of the trees, as darkly human and strong as he had been. Gentian stood at his side, dark curls framing her face as they fell almost to her shoulders. Both wore expressions of shock. Gentian reached for his hand but he flinched away. He shook his head in disbelief before turning to walk silently away. Gentian stared for a second longer and then followed him. Behind them a Portal flared as Lily took Sam home for the last time.

Lily stumbled through the Portal into her own garden, blinded by tears and having taken herself home without thinking. She was using a fragment of magic to help her carry Sam. She stood for a moment and let the rain wash her tears from her cheeks. Before she and Sam were soaked through Lily walked back to the house and straight upstairs.

Lily laid Sam gently on the bed. She carefully eased her tunic and trousers from her body and set them aside, irrationally folding them first. Offering an apology for leaving the room she went to the bathroom to fetch a bowl of warm water and a flannel. Lily carefully and tenderly washed Sam's body. As she worked she banished anything she could find so it would look like Sam died peacefully in her sleep. Then she took her own hair brush and eased the tangles and grass from Sam's hair. A loose t-shirt was tugged over steadily stiffening limbs. Lily finally sat heavily on the chair beside the bed.

"Oh, Sam," she whispered, "what happened? Why take this path?" Lily rested her head in her hands for a moment. A heavy numbness swept through her and it was hard work to remember how to breathe. Lily's mind was racing round the hard emptiness. She reached out and cradled Sam's cold cheek in the palm of her hand.

"I'm sorry, Sam," she said, "I have to go and I have to do it like this. I know you understand." Lily slowly stood and left the room. At the door she turned to gaze at the cold body lying in the bed. She stepped back in and drew the covers over Sam. Only then did she go downstairs and head for the phone. Lily sat at the kitchen table with the phone in her hand debating who to call first. In the end she called an ambulance first because she thought it was the correct thing to do, then she dialled again and she called Kate.

"Kate?" she asked, her voice shaking.

"Lily?" Kate's voice came back down the phone, tight with fear. "Where are you? Where did you go? What the hell's happened?"

"Kate. You need to come round here. Right now. Bring Jack. Please?" Lily could feel herself welling up and knew it would be heard in her voice. Kate sounded confused but agreed. They left Susan in the care of a neighbour and hoped they'd be back for the end of school.

Kate and Jack arrived before the ambulance. They let themselves in and found Lily still sitting at the table, with the phone still in her hand. Kate stared. Jack put a supportive hand on her shoulder.

"She's upstairs." Lily's voice was quiet, almost inaudible. Kate started for the stairs but Lily stopped her with a sound like a held back sob. "Kate. She's, she's….." Lily looked up and met Kate's eyes. "Kate. I'm sorry. It was too late. I was too late. She's gone. I'm so sorry."

"Sam?" Kate struggled to understand the words washing over her. "Sam?" She had her hand on the door to the stairs and was half turned to look at Lily. She felt her mind skip sideways and refuse to acknowledge the information. She went up the stairs two at a time. Jack paused to take a look at Lily.

"Sam's up there?" he asked. Lily nodded. "She's dead?" Lily nodded again. "Oh Shit!" The words exploded from Jack as he raced for the stairs. As he reached the bedroom Jack cannoned into Kate who was standing in the doorway. Kate's eyes were wide and she was shaking. A hand was pressed to her mouth and her face was pale with shock. Jack put a hand on Kate's shoulder and it was enough to make Kate turn and almost collapse into his arms as the sobs began.

~oOo~

"What do you mean she took her?" Drummer stared incredulously at Hiann. Gentian, as always, stood at Hiann's shoulder. Hiann had stepped from the trees as if he owned the forest a moment earlier, with Gentian a step behind him.

"Lilith came through a Portal and took the Mistress back to her own world." Hiann stared back at him. They stood beneath the open canopy of a pale-barked birch that stood at the edge of the trees that surrounded the clearing where the old oak towered, alone and proud. Drummer had arrived at a run, sprinting from the trees to skid to a halt in the clearing where the grass was already springing back to hide the signs of what had happened there. Only the darkening of the green at the base of the birch lingered and shone with the seeping memory of magic. "She lay here, Lilith came, wept, could not save her and then Lilith took them both through the Portal."

Drummer sank to his knees and placed a hand on the darkened and crushed leaves. "Here," he whispered softly, fighting the tightness in his chest and swallowing against the clenching in his throat. "She lay here, dying, and you did nothing."

"You were her Keeper, why were you not here?" Hiann was thoughtful rather than sneering. He flexed his hands distractedly and felt the power rise and flicker around his fingers.

"She didn't want me here," Drummer murmured, and he caught Hiann's movement as he stood and he took a step away. "Your magic has returned." It wasn't a question and Drummer felt the ice of fear stab him in the stomach. Without someone capable of wielding the magic to protect them the Eysi would be defenceless if Hiann decided to use his magic against them. Drummer's hand drifted to the hilt of his sword. "What will you do?"

Hiann looked him in the eye. "Honestly?" Drummer nodded, holding his breath. "I don't know." Hiann broke eye contact first, looking down at the darkened grass they both stood on. "I could use it; I could just make it all good again with me as Master of the realm. You could stand at my side and we could rule together as brothers." He paused and Drummer waited, wanting to yell at him that this was madness, but something in Hiann's eyes stopped him and made him wait and listen. "But what she did, how she died…" Hiann broke off, shaking his head. "I looked into her mind Drummer. I saw who she truly was and I saw what he did, I saw what he became. I saw the harm he did and he caused this, and I made it worse. I won't be that man; I won't be the monster our father became. I don't know how, but I won't become that."

Gentian's dark eyes were wide and darted from Drummer to Hiann and back again. This was obviously news to her too. She followed as Hiann turned and walked slowly away until he was hidden by the trees, leaving Drummer standing where Sam had fallen on the dark grass. He rubbed his hands over his face. The clearing was peaceful and calm and he couldn't bring himself to believe that his Mistress was really dead.

"Ah, Lilith," he murmured in his anguish. "Why take her? Why not leave her here with us." With his head spinning, Drummer walked slowly from the clearing and made his way back to the glade. He had got about half way when it hit him.

The Naiad.

He ran until he burst from the trees behind the cottage and he sped across the glade to skid to a halt on his knees beside the stream.

"Naiad?" he called. "NAIAD!" He plunged his arms into the water, knowing she usually reacted to that invasion. There was nothing, no response. She was gone too. The Naiad had bonded with Sam more closely than she had ever done with any other human being. That bond ran so deep, as the magical bond Drummer had shared with Sam had also run deep, that she must have felt Sam's death, just as Drummer had felt it. If it tore Drummer apart, what might it have done to the Naiad.

He felt a hand on his back and he lifted tear soaked cheeks to see his mother crouched beside him.

"She's gone isn't she?" She had to ask, had to check. Drummer could only nod, choked by the grief beginning to surface now that he started to really believe it. Elder's arms wrapped round him and they sat there together as the rest of the Eysi came to join them.

The launch party and official release date for Child of the Portal was set for June 21st because that's the date when the final events of this book, and hence of this part of the series, take place. It's summer solstice, the longest day of the year. It's the day when the sun reaches it's peak and will wane towards winter from that point on.

Some of you may have noticed that the book is already live in a couple of places but I'm refusing to share the links until Monday night! If you find it, then congratulations….

But you might want to hang on and enter the draws for a prize copy first. You could win a copy by simply following the instructions on the post here. The first two winners were drawn and notified last night, one from a blog comment, well done Helen, I hope you're enjoying the book, and another from my facebook author page. There'll be 2 more winners drawn tonight and then a final 2 on Launch day, Tues 21st.

Chapter Four, "The Funeral." tomorrow… And then I'm going to leave you to read in peace.

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Child of the Portal, ch2 "She's Gone"

Chapter 2 – She's Gone.

Sam vanishes from the glade, and from her trusted Eysi, to the concern of Elder, Drummer and the Naiad who all fear the worst.

She's gone.

[image error] Drummer sat cross legged on the grass and the dappled light cast by the tree above him just shaded enough so the glare of the sun didn't dazzle him. There was a cool breeze that lifted his lightly curled dark hair and cooled his back as the sun rose higher. The whetstone sang along the blade of his sword and the rhythm soothed him. The sounds of people stirring came from around him as the Eysi camp woke and prepared for the day ahead. He had been awake since before dawn.

Life had been calmer since Mistress Sam had taken Hiann's powers from him and since she had sealed the Portals to her own world. Even though life had become more settled and calm, Sam herself had not.

Drummer sighed out a deep breath and stroked the blade a little more firmly as he frowned. The Mistress wasn't happy and he knew that her Naiad consort missed Lilith, and so did his mother. If Drummer was honest with himself, he missed her too. He missed her calm and her ability to find a way without conflict. He dripped oil on the blade across his knees and rubbed it into the metal until it felt warm under his fingers.

He felt the change in the air as he heard the soft footsteps of the Naiad approaching him. He looked up at the sound of her voice.

"Drummer! She's gone." The Naiad called to him.

"Gone? What do you mean, gone?" He rose, sheathed his blade, and strode through the trees to meet her and they turned back towards the glade. "She can't be gone; I've been here all night." Side by side they approached the cottage and together they entered to find it dark and cold. Drummer flung open the door to the bedroom to stare at the neatly made bed, and a room tidier than it had ever been. He stepped over to lay a hand on the pillow and found it cold with no vestige of warmth or sleep remaining. "How long?" he asked over his shoulder where the Naiad stood in the doorway. "Can't you find her? Can't you sense where she is?"

"A few hours at least," the Naiad replied from behind him and he still didn't turn to face her. "I can't find her, I see only darkness." Her cool hand gripped his arm and he realised she had stepped into the room with him. "I fear she leaves us, Drummer." Her voice shook.

Drummer closed his eyes and strained to find Sam through the link they shared but it was like staring at a closed door.

"I can't feel her either," he admitted, "she has kept herself apart from me for a time now." Frowning as he went, he pushed past her and left the cottage. "I'm sure she'll be back soon enough." He went back to working on his sword until it drew blood when he drew the pad of his thumb across the edge. The sun rose overhead and passed into afternoon and when it was going down and the shadows grew long, Drummer wondered how long his Mistress was going to be away this time. It was unusual for her to not be back by nightfall but not completely unheard of, she'd stayed away and alone for a few days before this. It unsettled everyone and it wasn't the way of any Mistress Drummer had ever known or heard tales of, but Sam was different. Lilith had been strong, in control, and he knew his mother had felt safe with her nearby as they grew up together. Still, she had left them and allowed Ametsam to take over and that time had been hell for Drummer and his family. As the Eysi fires blazed high in the gathering dark of the evening, Drummer went to the stream to check on the Naiad and to ask if she needed him in or near the cottage. She didn't feel it was necessary so he spent that night with his mother, in her yurt and in comfort.

The sun was fully risen and streaming in through the small window as the Naiad stared at the empty bed for a moment before moving reluctantly back into the main room. She stared around the room, searching for some clue as to where Sam might have gone or how long she planned to be away.

The fire grate held a pile of ash which was unusual as Sam never had a fire unless it was the deepest and coldest part of winter when the stream froze over. She crouched and reached out to the cold ash, a light breeze from the door blew it from her hand and into a cloud in front of her.

"What were you burning?" The Naiad murmured, staring at the ash as it settled to the floor as well as back into the grate. She reached out and touched it gently. "Paper?" The Naiad frowned. "Why would you burn the paper?" Then, as understanding flooded her face, she rose quickly, moving to a cupboard against the wall and pulled it open to stare inside. It was empty apart from a small roll of paper tightly bound and left to be found in the middle of the shelf. There was a letter with writing on the outside of it, carefully laid on top, but the Naiad didn't read so she called for Elder, who had been taught her letters by Lilith, long ago when Lilith was barely more than a child.

Elder, you will be the one to read this.

This is for Lily, and for Kate.

Lilith will come when it's done, give this to her. She will need it and she will need you.

I'm sorry.

With Drummer at her shoulder, Elder picked up the scroll carefully with a sinking feeling of ice in the pit of her stomach. She unrolled it and read the first few lines. "We have to find her, quickly. You should have shown me this yesterday."

"I only just found it, Elder." The Naiad would have been affronted by the accusation had she not been increasingly concerned. "Drummer will go to seek her but she hides from us I should remain here in case she returns."

"Yes, you should," Elder agreed distractedly as she closed the cupboard, placing the scroll carefully in her pocket, "Lilith will come for that and we will need to be here for her when she does no matter what happens now." Elder frowned in thought for a moment. "Drummer, try at the Nexus where the old oak stands alone, she often goes there when she wants solitude. But go carefully, and be prepared. Bring her back if you can and I hope you can find her in time."

Drummer frowned, not daring to understand or believe what he heard in his mother's voice. "I'll gather some supplies and go after her alone. She won't want a large number." He stamped from the cottage to gather what he needed.

Child of the Portal, ebook edition, is officially launched on Tuesday June 21st, but you can find it now if you look.

Don't forget you could also win a copy by simply following the instructions on the post beneath this one. Click here.

Chapter three, "Sam." tomorrow…

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Psst, want to win a book…

Competition time.

If you'd like to win an early copy of Child of the Portal then do at least one of the following. Each will get you an entry in the draw.

Leave a comment on one of the Chapter blog posts here. That's the whole chapters from the beginning of Child of the Portal, starting today and running at a chapter a day through Tuesday. But I'll draw winners from Sunday night.
Find and leave a post on, the Child of the Portal facebook launch event.
Find and like my facebook fan page – and leave a post there saying you did. Existing fans, leave a post there saying you're a fan and that you want to be entered.

I'll be offering 2 copies of the book on Sunday, another 2 on Monday and a final 2 on Tuesday. That's 6 in total.

Winners will be chosen at random, picked from a virtual hat as it were. No alternative prize is possible, please don't ask as I'll just laugh at you. Please keep all posts and comments clean and work place friendly. Any offensive posts/comments will be excluded from the draws.

Prizes will be awarded in the form of a coupon for Smashwords.

Good luck!

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Child of the Portal – ch1.

Over the next few days I'll be posting the opening chapters of my new book, Child of the Portal. This is the third, and final, book in my main Portal series and it brings the main story of Sam, Lily and Kate to a peaceful close. That's not to say I didn't put them through hell first…..

The launch is on Tuesday June 21st, purely because that's the date on which the final events of the book happen. You may need tissues and I may go into hiding for a few days afterwards.

Writing on the wall.

[image error]Sam worked her way deeper into the darkness, her raised hand holding a short flaming torch that cast shadows along the curve of stone to either side. Her hair was loose and fell to her shoulders, golden blonde that bore the odd grey or white strand now. Her pale blue eyes were well suited to the gloom but she still peered at the shadows, searching as she trod carefully, easing her boot clad feet down slowly and with small steps. She'd heard of this place but hadn't thought she could actually find it. This was the place where the birth of the world and the deepest origin of the magic was recorded in images similar to those she'd seen in the fortress where Hiann now lived.

Sam frowned as she pressed deeper underground, an expression that had become her normal face as she struggled to make sense of the life she'd been thrust into, that she'd plunged into, without realising how much it might have been the wrong choice. Day to day life made no sense. The magic made no sense and Sam felt more and more isolated from everything she cared about, even deep inside her own mind. The peace that had descended on most of the land and over the remaining Eysi had eluded her.

So she sought answers alone, deep in the dark places beneath the earth that she nurtured and the answers she found weren't the ones that she needed.

Holding the short torch high above her head, Sam let the fingers of one hand trace the faint lines in the stone where the writings had once been. Barely visible now, they faded into the shadows and she laid her palm flat on the rock, trying to understand what she saw there. Her magic flared, a slow creeping glow that eased into the lines and sat there, shining out the message that made Sam step back and blink.

"Oh." She said, a small sound in the silence. She stepped away from the stone and called her magic back to her before she left, head bowed in deep thought.

The Kindle and other ebook editions of Child of the Portal are officially released on June 21st, but you may find it available to buy a little early if you go hunting for it…

Chapter 2 tomorrow.

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I write, therefore I am.

"Why do you write?"

I've lost count of the number of times I get asked that. I often shrug and say, "because I can." Or, "Why do you breathe?" There's no easy answer.

But, why do I offer my writing for you to read? That's a whole different question.

I do that because I am no shrinking violet, I do that because I want, demand, that my voice be heard. I do that because I love engaging with people, love watching people and I bask in the feedback that I get, yes, even the not so positive as well. I love it all. After all, I want my creation to spark a reaction from you.

So, it really does beat me why there are writers out there who want the sales and still sit back and try for the humble, try to hide and stay secret. We're not all Lady GaGa, we're not all flamboyant and over the top, but by putting our names out there we are creating our own celebrity. Surely if we want to share our work it's because we want to scream out our words and our stories from the rooftops, with a stonkingly loud PA system? Surely it's because we really do crave and long for that moment when we're out shopping and someone taps us on the shoulder, saying, "Aren't you…" Isn't it because we yearn to wander into a book shop and see ourselves there on the shelf?

Yes, sure there are other reasons to write in the first place, but to offer it to others, to expect other people to place a value on our words and pay money for them? It's not just business, is it? There's a business element to it for sure, but if it was just sharing then we'd make our books free, we'd just give them away. But we don't. We ask that people pay for them, and we set our prices so we make some small profits from each of those sales. We gather in forums and bemoan the low payouts, and we celebrate when we're worth more and can see more profit per book.

I'm just rambling here, but I think we need to be so open and honest about this. I write because I am driven to. I write, therefore I am. It's part therapy, part self worth and a huge part fun. Apart from the editing, which I'm avoiding doing by writing this rambling blog post….

Oh, I am getting desperate now, I may even get my tax return done.

But the writing is an exhilaration, and the publishing is something different. The publishing, the offering of my words to you readers, that's the ultimate buzz. That's me saying, I think I'm good, I know I'm good, I hope you agree and I hope you can enjoy this as much as I enjoyed creating it.

It's all about ego…..

OK, Tax return time. Do feel free to start a discussion in the comments that'll help me procrastinate over the accounts and fail to do the tax return, I'll love you forever. Until next year. And it does need doing, soon.

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Meeting the Naiad.

Ah, welcome back readers! It's suddenly Twitter's #samplesunday again and I've had a mad week.

The Portal Between has been dropped in price to $0.99c/£0.70p and is about to be featured on Daily Cheap Reads (Kindle UK). So, I thought I'd offer you an excerpt from that book this weekend.

[image error]Lily crouched in the grass and cupped her hands to scoop up some water and drink deeply. The ice cold water burned down her throat and she felt the energy tingle right through to her fingertips. She made a deep bow to the water and fished a coin from her pocket. This was an old coin, worn from years of handling so only the faintest impressions could be seen, beaten from a sheet of purest copper. She tossed it towards the point where the water slid over the rocks. A green tinged hand thrust up and caught it, held it in a delicate palm, offering the coin back.

"I have no need of tribute from you." The voice was soft and tinkled like the spring. A head and shoulders emerged from the water, the hand with the coin still outstretched. Her hair hung wet like water weed, long and dripping over slim boned shoulders. "Drink what you will, with no payment required. I give you this freely." Her black eyes flashed in amusement, a smile played about green lips. The Naiad pushed herself out as far as her waist and smiled a warm welcome to Lily.

"Mistress Lilith. It is good to see you after so long. Please, take the coin; you can find a better use for it." The naiad held out the hand holding the coin cradled in her palm. Lily chuckled and shook her head.

"I am Mistress no longer, but simple Lily now. But it is good to be back." Lily reached out and took the coin from the naiad's hand, their fingers clasping for a brief moment. "My thanks." Lily said "I wish you safe while I deal with this."

"You may refuse the title but the power is still yours to command. I feel it, I see it. Simple Lily, be safe." The naiad spoke softly and Lily lowered her eyes, feeling humbled by the devotion she saw. The naiad waited until Lily's eyes came back up and then nodded and slipped back into the water, easing between the rocks. Smiling to herself, Lily walked on.

Recipe (for #samplesundaycookoff)

Strawberry Daquiri.

Ingredients

4 fresh strawberries, plus ½ strawberry to garnish
2 tsp white sugar
35ml/1½fl oz white rum
1 tbsp strawberry liqueur
25ml/1fl oz lime juice

Preparation method

Place the strawberries, sugar, rum, strawberry liqueur and lime juice into the base of a cocktail shaker and mash (muddle) with the end of a clean rolling pin.
Place the lid onto the cocktail shaker and shake well.
Strain the mixture into a Martini glass and garnish with half a strawberry.


The Portal Between (UK Kindle edition) Only 0.70p
The Portal Between (US Kindle edition) Only 0.99c

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Sage, and Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters.

In homage to the late, great Douglas Adams I'm taking you into space this week. "Sage" is a work in progress and may or may not make it into publication when finished, if ever finished. Sage is suffering from the famous Adams attitude to deadlines, the whooshing sound as they rush by is deafening.

Sage placed her palm on the panel and it shone blue and then green before the doors slid open to reveal a stone slabbed patio type area with plants in pots, chairs and a low table. Above it all rose a smooth panelled dome that protected the entire area. Sage reached out and took Diana's hand and led her out into the room.

They stood in a crystal clear bubble like dome. As she had done with Wilcox and Dr Smith, Sage waited calmly as Diana stared at what was around them. Diana stared breathlessly at the stark glacial landscape. At the horizon her gaze was drawn up towards the ink black sky with a scattering of stars that were sharper than Diana had ever seen before.

"Oh wow, it's like being in space." She breathed and Sage said nothing as she stared and took in what she was seeing. Sage waited quietly as Diana looked, waited for her to turn and see the biggest thing there was to see. Diana turned and her eyes widened, her hand flew to her mouth and her legs shook. Sage guided her to sit in one of the chairs.

"Holy shit." Diana whispered. "Is that what I think it is?" Sage just nodded, knowing it would take a while of staring in disbelief before any words would mean anything.

Its presence filled the sky, huge and looming with a gigantic and distinctive red spot. Storms swirled orange and yellow across the surface and Diana couldn't tear make herself look away.

Diana stared with her mouth sagging open for a long time before she began to grin. "Oh that's very good." She said eventually. "It's a special effect, a computer screen projection or something right?"

Sage chuckled softly. "No, it's real."

"Oh don't be daft. How would we get to flipping Jupiter?" Diana blustered, finally pulled her eyes away to see Sage laughing at her.

"I drove."

"You can't drive to Jupiter in a Renault!"

Sage sat on the chair beside her. "I don't have the Renault any more. I have a Ford Focus, but I drove a Land Rover Defender and technically I didn't drive to Jupiter; I used rift technology to get to Ganymede."

"Pedant." Diana shot back without thinking and Sage grinned. "I still don't believe you."

"Of course you don't. Human beings don't go this far from Earth, and it'd take months to get here, at least thirteen and probably more even if you use the Hohman Transfer Orbit theory."

Diana stared suspiciously at Sage. "Why are you being so reasonable? And what's with all the sudden information? Hohman what?"

"Reasonable purely because it confuses you; you'll get your head round it eventually." Sage got up and held out a hand. "Want to freshen up and change before dinner?" She pulled Diana to her feet and steered them both back towards the lift with Diana still staring at the looming presence of the gigantic Jupiter over their heads as the lift doors closed, finally blocking it from view.

"What happened to the Renault?" Diana turned to look Sage in the eye.

"It got wrecked."

G-med, or Ganymede Medical, is a human specialist medical facility and I've not yet discovered if they have a bar. But if there is one I bet they'd serve the equivalent of Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters in both the alcoholic and non-alcoholic forms. Actually, I think I'll go and find the bar and see if they do…. Or I may have to take them these recipes.

First the Alcoholic variety.

1 oz Jack Daniel's® Tennessee whiskey; 1 oz peach schnapps; 4 – 6 oz orange juice; 1 splash Blue Curacao liqueur.

Shake the orange juice, the Jack and the peach schnapps in a shaker 3/4 full with ice cubes. When it's chilled, strain into the highball glass and drizzle some of the blue Curacao liqueur over the top of it. Add a citrus twist (and, bizarrely, an olive if you're a DNA purist), sit back and be prepared to have your brain smashed out by gold bricks, lemons and allsorts.

And now the other one – but make sure you follow the instructions exactly!

1) Take the liquid from any clear soda you have available,

because you will see everything clearly after this drink.

Cherry flavoring enhances the savor of the drink.

2) Slowly pour in blue coloring for a wonderful color, because

seeing is always believing. (This is optional, in case you

don't have any food coloring.)

3) Let Coke, Pepsi, or whatever you prefer, run into the

mixture. Be mesmerized by the spreading blackness like the

black holes of space.

4) Speedily stirring the mixture, add orange juice in honor of

the brave oranges who died to give you this drink. Revel in

the circular logic of this statement.

5) Over the back of a silver spoon, spill a spoonful of sugar,

in commemoration of all the hyperactive children in the

galaxy. Rubberize your walls, for you shall be bouncing off

of them.

6) Drop in a single chocolate chip. This does not add much to

the flavor, but it is a treat for the end.

7) Finally, sprinkle Gatorade over the mixture. Let the complex

carbohydrates and replenishing minerals confuse your mind with

their utter uselessness, even though everybody thinks they

help.

Now you have the drink, and you are in the correct frame of mind to drink it, if you followed all the instructions up to now.

Drink carefully.

Drink some more carefully.

The heck with carefulness, just drink it.

Enjoy! And don't blame me for the hangovers….

Mr Adams, So long, and thanks for all the fish.

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