Sage, and Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters.
In homage to the late, great Douglas Adams I'm taking you into space this week. "Sage" is a work in progress and may or may not make it into publication when finished, if ever finished. Sage is suffering from the famous Adams attitude to deadlines, the whooshing sound as they rush by is deafening.
Sage placed her palm on the panel and it shone blue and then green before the doors slid open to reveal a stone slabbed patio type area with plants in pots, chairs and a low table. Above it all rose a smooth panelled dome that protected the entire area. Sage reached out and took Diana's hand and led her out into the room.
They stood in a crystal clear bubble like dome. As she had done with Wilcox and Dr Smith, Sage waited calmly as Diana stared at what was around them. Diana stared breathlessly at the stark glacial landscape. At the horizon her gaze was drawn up towards the ink black sky with a scattering of stars that were sharper than Diana had ever seen before.
"Oh wow, it's like being in space." She breathed and Sage said nothing as she stared and took in what she was seeing. Sage waited quietly as Diana looked, waited for her to turn and see the biggest thing there was to see. Diana turned and her eyes widened, her hand flew to her mouth and her legs shook. Sage guided her to sit in one of the chairs.
"Holy shit." Diana whispered. "Is that what I think it is?" Sage just nodded, knowing it would take a while of staring in disbelief before any words would mean anything.
Its presence filled the sky, huge and looming with a gigantic and distinctive red spot. Storms swirled orange and yellow across the surface and Diana couldn't tear make herself look away.
Diana stared with her mouth sagging open for a long time before she began to grin. "Oh that's very good." She said eventually. "It's a special effect, a computer screen projection or something right?"
Sage chuckled softly. "No, it's real."
"Oh don't be daft. How would we get to flipping Jupiter?" Diana blustered, finally pulled her eyes away to see Sage laughing at her.
"I drove."
"You can't drive to Jupiter in a Renault!"
Sage sat on the chair beside her. "I don't have the Renault any more. I have a Ford Focus, but I drove a Land Rover Defender and technically I didn't drive to Jupiter; I used rift technology to get to Ganymede."
"Pedant." Diana shot back without thinking and Sage grinned. "I still don't believe you."
"Of course you don't. Human beings don't go this far from Earth, and it'd take months to get here, at least thirteen and probably more even if you use the Hohman Transfer Orbit theory."
Diana stared suspiciously at Sage. "Why are you being so reasonable? And what's with all the sudden information? Hohman what?"
"Reasonable purely because it confuses you; you'll get your head round it eventually." Sage got up and held out a hand. "Want to freshen up and change before dinner?" She pulled Diana to her feet and steered them both back towards the lift with Diana still staring at the looming presence of the gigantic Jupiter over their heads as the lift doors closed, finally blocking it from view.
"What happened to the Renault?" Diana turned to look Sage in the eye.
"It got wrecked."
G-med, or Ganymede Medical, is a human specialist medical facility and I've not yet discovered if they have a bar. But if there is one I bet they'd serve the equivalent of Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters in both the alcoholic and non-alcoholic forms. Actually, I think I'll go and find the bar and see if they do…. Or I may have to take them these recipes.
First the Alcoholic variety.
1 oz Jack Daniel's® Tennessee whiskey; 1 oz peach schnapps; 4 – 6 oz orange juice; 1 splash Blue Curacao liqueur.
Shake the orange juice, the Jack and the peach schnapps in a shaker 3/4 full with ice cubes. When it's chilled, strain into the highball glass and drizzle some of the blue Curacao liqueur over the top of it. Add a citrus twist (and, bizarrely, an olive if you're a DNA purist), sit back and be prepared to have your brain smashed out by gold bricks, lemons and allsorts.
And now the other one – but make sure you follow the instructions exactly!
1) Take the liquid from any clear soda you have available,
because you will see everything clearly after this drink.
Cherry flavoring enhances the savor of the drink.
2) Slowly pour in blue coloring for a wonderful color, because
seeing is always believing. (This is optional, in case you
don't have any food coloring.)
3) Let Coke, Pepsi, or whatever you prefer, run into the
mixture. Be mesmerized by the spreading blackness like the
black holes of space.
4) Speedily stirring the mixture, add orange juice in honor of
the brave oranges who died to give you this drink. Revel in
the circular logic of this statement.
5) Over the back of a silver spoon, spill a spoonful of sugar,
in commemoration of all the hyperactive children in the
galaxy. Rubberize your walls, for you shall be bouncing off
of them.
6) Drop in a single chocolate chip. This does not add much to
the flavor, but it is a treat for the end.
7) Finally, sprinkle Gatorade over the mixture. Let the complex
carbohydrates and replenishing minerals confuse your mind with
their utter uselessness, even though everybody thinks they
help.
Now you have the drink, and you are in the correct frame of mind to drink it, if you followed all the instructions up to now.
Drink carefully.
Drink some more carefully.
The heck with carefulness, just drink it.
Enjoy! And don't blame me for the hangovers….
Mr Adams, So long, and thanks for all the fish.
