Child of the Portal – ch3, Sam.

It's a long one today, and some of you may need tissues.

Sam.

[image error]Sam stood beneath the slender tree on the edge of the clearing that surrounded the ancient oak that had served as a focus for the magic for generations. Her eyes were vacant, staring into nothing. Her hands worked ceaselessly, winding round each other. She raised a hand towards the open grass and dropped it again. Her head shook from side to side in a wordless denial. Sam squeezed her eyes closed and tears leaked from the corners. As had become her habit, her feet were bare in the damp grass that was long enough to be starting to soak into the ends of her trousers. Her hair was tied back. A hand reached up and pulled her hair free from the thong restraining it. She distractedly finger-combed the kinks out and let it fall onto her shoulders. She brushed it back from her eyes.

Sam looked down at her hands. They were shaking and she flexed the fingers, then turned them palm up and examined the palms. She drew a breath and began to open a Portal. Her face screwed up in pain and she abruptly stopped and closed the half formed gateway.

"I can't. I'm sorry, Lily, I broke it too well. Oh Gods, but I need you. I need you all. I can't live with this, not on my own. I can't. It's killing me," Sam whispered as she summoned the power again. She dropped to her knees and knelt in the grass and laid a hand flat on the earth. She took a breath and closed her eyes. Then she simply opened and let herself pour out. She felt herself spreading like water throughout the land, oozing through the soil, into every tree, every plant, touching every soul in the realm. Sam released the mantle of Mistress and the power that went with the title. The land would be its own ruler now. It wasn't enough. Her knees were damp and starting to get stiff. Almost, she reconsidered her actions, her choice. Sam sank her own strength into the land and then followed it with her own life force. She felt her self become distant and calm as the last dregs of her self slowly seeped away. Her heartbeat slowed, faltered. A turning point was reached. Sam passed it without a second thought and carried on allowing herself to pour forth into the earth.

A vague awareness of cold and pain buzzed round her like flies. She ignored them, using a tendril of magic to still the pain she felt in her body. A body she no longer felt particularly attached to. A body that eventually slowly slumped to the earth and lay still.

She let herself flow outwards, seeking the still torn areas of land and allowing her essence to fill and heal them. With her last remaining breath Sam flung out a farewell to those she felt closest to and all the magic she had taken from others or imposed on anyone was returned or negated. She felt a moment of regret that Kate was almost deaf and blind to the magic and with the Portals sealed she couldn't reach her. She should have told Kate. Then she simply let go. She willingly let go of the pain, of the turmoil, of all uncertainty. She relinquished her hold on memories both good and bad. As part of the deal she also let go of her heartbeat, of breathing. She let go of living. That which had been Sam spread out across the realm like oil on water until it was so thin it was no longer anything. Her body rested quietly at the foot of the tree and the final breath sighed from her open lips into the grass.

~oOo~

The Naiad startled in her stream. Her face froze and her eyes widened in shock as the ripples from Sam's actions hit her. Then she started to shake, tears pouring down her face and she sank down, becoming one with her water.

~oOo~

Bound to Sam as he was, Drummer felt it too. He hadn't yet left the Eysi camp in search of her. He sat suddenly, his legs refusing to hold him up. His faced paled and his eyes went wide. His head shook from side to side in mute denial of the knowledge that had just arrived, unwanted, in his head. The markings on his arm faded as he watched and as the life of the one who marked him faded, Elder at his shoulder watched in stunned silence.

~oOo~

It was the afternoon of Autumn Equinox, and although Susan was home from school after a short stomach bug, the others were out on a school trip, and Lily and Kate were talking quietly.

Kate shivered, suddenly cold down her back.

Lily paused halfway across Kate's kitchen, her head cocked to one side as if listening, her eyes lost focus.

"Shit. No!" Lily exclaimed as if she'd been struck and the mugs she held crashed to the floor, falling from numb fingers, shattering and spilling hot tea across the kitchen floor.

"Lily?" Kate was at her side as Lily started to shake.

"No, no, she wouldn't. Oh please no." Lily muttered incoherently stunned by something she couldn't bring herself to believe. Kate wrapped an arm round Lily and steered her towards the table as Susan burst in, carrying the carved dragon that Jack had given Sam for the single Christmas she had spent at home before leaving again to rule Lily's world beyond the Portals.

Susan held out the dragon to Lily, who stared through it in shock. "She needs you." Susan took Lily's hand and placed the dragon into her palm and wrapped unresisting fingers around it.

Lily stared down at the carving and images of Sam sitting at the same table flooded into her and she felt the spreading warmth of magic released from binding and the dragon began to glow. Lily clutched it tightly and raced to the lawn as she thoughtlessly flung open a Portal, using the magic surging through the disintegrating dragon and she shoved the fragments into her pocket as she ran. She didn't pause or change speed as she sped through, simply trusting that she would get through.

"Kate, wait here, I'll be back. Sam, hang on. I'm coming!" she yelled. Once across the first threshold Lily slowed as the air grew thicker. She took the few steps needed to cross through and hoped she might be in time.

As she stepped through the Portal, Lily knew it was too late. She felt it as she crossed over and stepped onto the grass of the other world. She braced herself and looked around. Her eye was drawn to the grass beneath a tree to one side. Her breath caught in her throat and she almost bolted back to the still open Portal behind her, but her feet held fast to the spot.

The form lying under the tree was too still. The air was chill and damp. Lily stopped and stared, the wet grass seeping damp through her shoes and onto her feet. Her eyes wide, hands clenched to fists at her sides, her mouth worked soundlessly. Her head shook in a silent denial of what was obvious.

The sun crept through the leaves to cast a gentle, soft light over the body. It was face-down in the grass. Shadows lay dark around the still, silent form. One arm lay flung out towards the tree and the other was mostly wrapped around the head. The hair spread out like a sunburst across the wet grass. The feet were bare. Tunic and trousers were dark with the damp from the grass. The rich, damp smell of the earth filled Lily's senses.

Lily stared. There was no aura to be seen, no flicker of life. Lily stepped towards the body slowly, hoping to spot some movement, anything. Time seemed to stand still. She had no awareness of anything else; her full attention was on the tree and the body. Lily knelt and tentatively reached out a hand. The flesh beneath the cloth on the shoulder was cool, living warmth fading. Closing her eyes and hoping against hope Lily gently pulled the body over to lie on its back. As the arm fell away Sam's face was exposed. Her mouth was slightly open and her eyes closed. Through reflex rather than hope, Lily checked the angle of Sam's jaw for a pulse, laid a hand over her mouth to see if there was any breath. Finally she laid her ear to Sam's chest to check for the faintest possibility of a heart beat. There was nothing. Lily cast her own awareness wide, looking for even the faintest trace of Sam but there was nothing to be found, only the faintest hint of a memory of an aura. Even so, Lily tried to gather it and pull Sam back but it was like trying to catch smoke. Lily cradled Sam's face in her hand, her thumb stroking Sam's cheek.

"Oh, Sam," Lily groaned, tears starting to course down her cheeks. "Oh no. Why?" She cradled Sam's rapidly cooling corpse in her arms and rocked as she wept. For a long time Lily knelt there until her mind began to clear into practicality.

Hiann watched, unseen, from the shadow of the trees, as darkly human and strong as he had been. Gentian stood at his side, dark curls framing her face as they fell almost to her shoulders. Both wore expressions of shock. Gentian reached for his hand but he flinched away. He shook his head in disbelief before turning to walk silently away. Gentian stared for a second longer and then followed him. Behind them a Portal flared as Lily took Sam home for the last time.

Lily stumbled through the Portal into her own garden, blinded by tears and having taken herself home without thinking. She was using a fragment of magic to help her carry Sam. She stood for a moment and let the rain wash her tears from her cheeks. Before she and Sam were soaked through Lily walked back to the house and straight upstairs.

Lily laid Sam gently on the bed. She carefully eased her tunic and trousers from her body and set them aside, irrationally folding them first. Offering an apology for leaving the room she went to the bathroom to fetch a bowl of warm water and a flannel. Lily carefully and tenderly washed Sam's body. As she worked she banished anything she could find so it would look like Sam died peacefully in her sleep. Then she took her own hair brush and eased the tangles and grass from Sam's hair. A loose t-shirt was tugged over steadily stiffening limbs. Lily finally sat heavily on the chair beside the bed.

"Oh, Sam," she whispered, "what happened? Why take this path?" Lily rested her head in her hands for a moment. A heavy numbness swept through her and it was hard work to remember how to breathe. Lily's mind was racing round the hard emptiness. She reached out and cradled Sam's cold cheek in the palm of her hand.

"I'm sorry, Sam," she said, "I have to go and I have to do it like this. I know you understand." Lily slowly stood and left the room. At the door she turned to gaze at the cold body lying in the bed. She stepped back in and drew the covers over Sam. Only then did she go downstairs and head for the phone. Lily sat at the kitchen table with the phone in her hand debating who to call first. In the end she called an ambulance first because she thought it was the correct thing to do, then she dialled again and she called Kate.

"Kate?" she asked, her voice shaking.

"Lily?" Kate's voice came back down the phone, tight with fear. "Where are you? Where did you go? What the hell's happened?"

"Kate. You need to come round here. Right now. Bring Jack. Please?" Lily could feel herself welling up and knew it would be heard in her voice. Kate sounded confused but agreed. They left Susan in the care of a neighbour and hoped they'd be back for the end of school.

Kate and Jack arrived before the ambulance. They let themselves in and found Lily still sitting at the table, with the phone still in her hand. Kate stared. Jack put a supportive hand on her shoulder.

"She's upstairs." Lily's voice was quiet, almost inaudible. Kate started for the stairs but Lily stopped her with a sound like a held back sob. "Kate. She's, she's….." Lily looked up and met Kate's eyes. "Kate. I'm sorry. It was too late. I was too late. She's gone. I'm so sorry."

"Sam?" Kate struggled to understand the words washing over her. "Sam?" She had her hand on the door to the stairs and was half turned to look at Lily. She felt her mind skip sideways and refuse to acknowledge the information. She went up the stairs two at a time. Jack paused to take a look at Lily.

"Sam's up there?" he asked. Lily nodded. "She's dead?" Lily nodded again. "Oh Shit!" The words exploded from Jack as he raced for the stairs. As he reached the bedroom Jack cannoned into Kate who was standing in the doorway. Kate's eyes were wide and she was shaking. A hand was pressed to her mouth and her face was pale with shock. Jack put a hand on Kate's shoulder and it was enough to make Kate turn and almost collapse into his arms as the sobs began.

~oOo~

"What do you mean she took her?" Drummer stared incredulously at Hiann. Gentian, as always, stood at Hiann's shoulder. Hiann had stepped from the trees as if he owned the forest a moment earlier, with Gentian a step behind him.

"Lilith came through a Portal and took the Mistress back to her own world." Hiann stared back at him. They stood beneath the open canopy of a pale-barked birch that stood at the edge of the trees that surrounded the clearing where the old oak towered, alone and proud. Drummer had arrived at a run, sprinting from the trees to skid to a halt in the clearing where the grass was already springing back to hide the signs of what had happened there. Only the darkening of the green at the base of the birch lingered and shone with the seeping memory of magic. "She lay here, Lilith came, wept, could not save her and then Lilith took them both through the Portal."

Drummer sank to his knees and placed a hand on the darkened and crushed leaves. "Here," he whispered softly, fighting the tightness in his chest and swallowing against the clenching in his throat. "She lay here, dying, and you did nothing."

"You were her Keeper, why were you not here?" Hiann was thoughtful rather than sneering. He flexed his hands distractedly and felt the power rise and flicker around his fingers.

"She didn't want me here," Drummer murmured, and he caught Hiann's movement as he stood and he took a step away. "Your magic has returned." It wasn't a question and Drummer felt the ice of fear stab him in the stomach. Without someone capable of wielding the magic to protect them the Eysi would be defenceless if Hiann decided to use his magic against them. Drummer's hand drifted to the hilt of his sword. "What will you do?"

Hiann looked him in the eye. "Honestly?" Drummer nodded, holding his breath. "I don't know." Hiann broke eye contact first, looking down at the darkened grass they both stood on. "I could use it; I could just make it all good again with me as Master of the realm. You could stand at my side and we could rule together as brothers." He paused and Drummer waited, wanting to yell at him that this was madness, but something in Hiann's eyes stopped him and made him wait and listen. "But what she did, how she died…" Hiann broke off, shaking his head. "I looked into her mind Drummer. I saw who she truly was and I saw what he did, I saw what he became. I saw the harm he did and he caused this, and I made it worse. I won't be that man; I won't be the monster our father became. I don't know how, but I won't become that."

Gentian's dark eyes were wide and darted from Drummer to Hiann and back again. This was obviously news to her too. She followed as Hiann turned and walked slowly away until he was hidden by the trees, leaving Drummer standing where Sam had fallen on the dark grass. He rubbed his hands over his face. The clearing was peaceful and calm and he couldn't bring himself to believe that his Mistress was really dead.

"Ah, Lilith," he murmured in his anguish. "Why take her? Why not leave her here with us." With his head spinning, Drummer walked slowly from the clearing and made his way back to the glade. He had got about half way when it hit him.

The Naiad.

He ran until he burst from the trees behind the cottage and he sped across the glade to skid to a halt on his knees beside the stream.

"Naiad?" he called. "NAIAD!" He plunged his arms into the water, knowing she usually reacted to that invasion. There was nothing, no response. She was gone too. The Naiad had bonded with Sam more closely than she had ever done with any other human being. That bond ran so deep, as the magical bond Drummer had shared with Sam had also run deep, that she must have felt Sam's death, just as Drummer had felt it. If it tore Drummer apart, what might it have done to the Naiad.

He felt a hand on his back and he lifted tear soaked cheeks to see his mother crouched beside him.

"She's gone isn't she?" She had to ask, had to check. Drummer could only nod, choked by the grief beginning to surface now that he started to really believe it. Elder's arms wrapped round him and they sat there together as the rest of the Eysi came to join them.

The launch party and official release date for Child of the Portal was set for June 21st because that's the date when the final events of this book, and hence of this part of the series, take place. It's summer solstice, the longest day of the year. It's the day when the sun reaches it's peak and will wane towards winter from that point on.

Some of you may have noticed that the book is already live in a couple of places but I'm refusing to share the links until Monday night! If you find it, then congratulations….

But you might want to hang on and enter the draws for a prize copy first. You could win a copy by simply following the instructions on the post here. The first two winners were drawn and notified last night, one from a blog comment, well done Helen, I hope you're enjoying the book, and another from my facebook author page. There'll be 2 more winners drawn tonight and then a final 2 on Launch day, Tues 21st.

Chapter Four, "The Funeral." tomorrow… And then I'm going to leave you to read in peace.

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