Maya Hu-Chan's Blog, page 9
June 19, 2021
3 Microaggressions in the Workplace You Can’t Ignore
In honor of Asian American and Pacific Islander (AAPI) Heritage Month, leaders should celebrate and elevate the contributions of their AAPI colleagues. They should also focus on committing to inclusion efforts that include AAPI professionals, with an awareness of how exclusion can show up differently for us.
Education regarding diversity, equity, and inclusion often includes discussions on microaggressions and their harmful impact on people with marginalized identities. Just as microaggressions show up in specific patterns for LGBTQ people, women, Black people, and other people of color, microaggressions show up in particular ways for AAPI people. Many, unfortunately, often fly under the radar.
This awareness is especially crucial today. Harassment and hate crimes against AAPI people have escalated since the start of the Covid pandemic. Research from Stop AAPI Hate found 6,600 reports of hate incidents against AAPI people between March 2020 and March 2021. The Anti-Defamation League reports that in comparison to other groups, Asian-Americans have experienced the single largest year-over-year increase in severe online harassment.
While microaggressions might seem minor in comparison to harassment and hate, their harmful, dehumanizing impact is the same. On a personal level, they demean, belittle, shame, and can stifle careers; on a societal level, they can lead to violence.
Here are some common microaggressions that might be impacting the AAPI people at your company, and what you can do to stop them.
The myth of the “model minority”Asian-Americans are often held up as inherently successful, hard-working, and problem-free, a stereotype that casts them as exceptions to the stereotypes leveraged against other people of color and immigrant groups. While this myth might seem harmless or even complimentary, it in fact erases the hardships that many Asian-American communities face and often serves as a cover for racist and discriminatory practices.
Be wary of making assumptions of your AAPI colleagues that fall into this stereotype. Instead, respect each person as an individual, with their own unique lived experiences.
Not learning how to pronounce names correctlyTo American eyes and ears, many Asian names are difficult to pronounce on the first try. Microaggressions occur when people consistently mispronounce someone’s name, or, fearful of saying it incorrectly, opt to not address them at all. I experienced this in college, with professors who ignored me in class rather than attempt to pronounce my Chinese name.
Saying someone’s name correctly is, at its most basic, a form of respect. People are often afraid of “getting it wrong,” but asking how to pronounce someone’s name is never offensive if asked with genuine care and respect. After you’ve heard the correct pronunciation, repeat it and check to make sure you’ve got it right. Then, practice until it sticks. If you have to ask all over again if re-meeting someone at a later date, showing genuine interest in getting it right is still an inclusive behavior that communicates care and respect.
“Your English is so good!”Many microaggressions are examples of the difference between intent and impact. While someone might think they have good intent and are complimenting someone by commenting on their English, the impact of a statement like this is that it immediately casts the receiver as an outsider. The subtext is also heard loud and clear: “I was not expecting you to speak well.”
The simplest way to avoid this microaggression is to refrain from commenting on someone’s English at all. If you want to compliment a colleague’s communication skills, stick to specifics: “I love how you opened your presentation,” or “You summarized that complex information so clearly.”
Inclusion initiatives aim to create safe working environments for all, spaces where everyone can bring their whole selves to work — and companies can benefit from the diversity they work hard to cultivate. Be aware of the barriers that specific communities like the AAPI community faces in the workplace, and challenge those barriers — during AAPI month and always.
This article was originally posted on Inc.com
The post 3 Microaggressions in the Workplace You Can’t Ignore appeared first on Maya Hu-Chan.
May 26, 2021
How to Uncover Your Communication Blind Spots
Mitch almost lost one of his highest-performing team members, and he would have never known why.
As an American executive for a multinational company, Mitch leads a team with members based around the world. That team includes Ayaka, who is Japanese. Several months ago, Ayaka found herself in a dispute with a vendor. She was handling the situation appropriately, but at one point it needed to be escalated to Mitch. He asked Ayaka to forward the email chain she had with the vendor. He then quickly closed the books on the matter.
But Mitch didn’t give Ayaka a reason for why he wanted to see the email chain, and he never followed up on what happened after that. Without that information, Ayaka was left to assume the worst.
“I thought, he doesn’t trust me and feels like he needs to micromanage me,” she later told me.
During the next three months, Ayaka kept doing her job but became emotionally disengaged, convinced that because her boss didn’t trust her, there was no future for her at the company. She even started looking for another job.
With Ayaka’s permission, I shared this with Mitch. He was shocked. He vaguely remembered asking her to share the email trail. “Everything was fine. We moved on,” he said.
But, Ayaka hadn’t moved on. Mitch’s cultural and communication blind spots let Ayaka’s fears build until it was almost too late. Let’s take a look at what those blind spots were, and learn how you can avoid making the same mistakes.
No context.Mitch didn’t let Ayaka know why he wanted to see the email chain. When people don’t have the full story, they write their own — and they almost always assume the worst. A simple sentence and short reassurance would have sufficed. “Ayaka, please forward the email chain. You’re handling everything appropriately, I would just like to have the full picture.” Don’t assume your team members have all the information you have, or that they automatically understand your intentions.
Valuing speed over connection.Leaders often prioritize speed and efficiency over quality and clarity. Before firing off a quick email, take a brief moment to think about how it might be perceived by the receiver, remembering that tone and subtlety can often be lost when we communicate by writing. If a sentence can be interpreted in too many ways, rewrite it so it’s less ambiguous. And if a topic is too sensitive for an email or text, pick up the phone or schedule a video call.
Lack of awareness of cultural dynamics.One of the first things Mitch said when I explained this situation was, “Why didn’t Ayaka come to me with this?” He was viewing Ayaka’s reaction through the lens of his own background, instead of understanding and empathizing with hers. In hierarchical cultures such as Japanese culture, it’s considered inappropriate to challenge your boss. You don’t reach out to your boss — your boss reaches out to you. Because of this, it never occurred to Ayaka to ask Mitch for a follow-up, or to seek reassurance that she had done things correctly.
When working with team members from a variety of cultural backgrounds, it’s the leader’s responsibility to understand their backgrounds, be sensitive and appreciative of the differences, and meet people where they are.
Rarely checking in.Because Ayaka is one of Mitch’s most dependable team members, he didn’t feel the need to connect with her beyond infrequent one-on-ones. “She’s so good that I don’t need to talk to her or check in on her,” he said.
This, however, left Ayaka feeling marginalized and unimportant. And while Mitch praised her work to his superiors, Ayaka wasn’t aware of it. She interpreted Mitch’s lack of contact as him believing she wasn’t worth investing in.
Even your highest-performing people need recognition, appreciation, and feedback. This is especially important in remote settings, where feelings of isolation can be compounded.
Mitch soon started scheduling more frequent, regular one-on-ones with Ayaka. He made an effort to acknowledge her contributions, give her credit for her work, and thank her. He became more mindful and deliberate with his communication, stating the intentions behind his words with clarity.
If you have a team member who seems disconnected and disengaged, take inventory of your possible blind spots. Make sure you provide clear context behind your intentions, check in regularly, be sensitive to cultural differences, and always show appreciation and recognition for their contributions.
This article was originally posted on Inc.com
The post How to Uncover Your Communication Blind Spots appeared first on Maya Hu-Chan.
April 20, 2021
Why Anti-Asian Hate Should Matter to You
Since the start of the pandemic, Asian Americans have experienced increasing levels of discrimination, hate, and, in the tragic case of the Atlanta murders, unthinkable violence.
According to research from the Anti-Defamation League, Asian Americans have experienced the largest single year-over-year increase in severe online harassment in comparison to other groups. Research from the organization Stop AAPI Hate found 3,800 reports of hate incidents against AAPI (Asian American and Pacific Islander) people in the course of a year of the pandemic.
“The reality is that America’s sub-culture of hate, division, and violence is currently in plain view for all to see,” says Gregg Ward, executive director of the Center for Respectful Leadership.
Some business leaders might think this is an issue they shouldn’t have to worry about. Unfortunately, this kind of thinking can cause even more harm.
The hate and discrimination experienced by Asian Americans in the last year have affected life in public, private, and professional spaces. My Korean American hairdresser was spit on and called a racial slur while walking past an Asian grocery store. Several months ago, I spoke at an online panel on diversity and inclusion hosted by a global company. During the session, a participant sent me a private message: “My boss uses the term ‘China virus’ all the time,” it read. “It makes me feel very uncomfortable. What can I do?”
Whether they exist in word or physical action, acts of hate can diminish, demean, and, often, escalate to violence. In her podcast Unlocking Us, author Brené Brown labels language as a force behind dehumanization. “We are all responsible for recognizing it, stopping it, and holding people accountable for dehumanizing language and actions,” she says.
This responsibility extends to the workplace — especially for those of us in positions of leadership.
Here are actions leaders can take to support their AAPI team members and stop Asian hate.
Speak up
Use the power and influence you have as a professional and a citizen. Write and call your representatives to voice support for anti-hate legislation. Write letters to the editor. Leaders should publicly condemn the attacks and offer support and resources. Make sure your support is vocal and visible — it is everyone’s responsibility to speak out and take a stand against hate.
Support AAPI businesses with your time and money
Asian business owners have been the most negatively impacted by the pandemic. Research from the University of California, Santa Cruz found that the number of working Asian business owners fell 20 percent from February to December 2020. Find Asian businesses to support in your community. If your role at work includes engaging outside partners and vendors, expand your network to include AAPI-owned firms. Volunteer your time and money to organizations dedicated to fighting racism.
Hold space
Your AAPI team members and colleagues, even if they have not directly experienced acts of hate or discrimination, are impacted by them. Check-in and ask how you can support them. If they offer to talk about their experiences (don’t assume they will feel comfortable doing so), “hold space” by listening, being present and free from distractions, and validating their experience. Never question what they experienced or “play devil’s advocate.” Resist the urge to “fix” or problem-solve — just listen, believe, and validate.
Cynthia Choi, the co-founder of Stop AAPI Hate, notes that while anti-Asian racism and violence are not new, “some of the outrages that you’re seeing from the AAPI community right now is, because of the sense that we have been invisible and unheard.” By using the power and influence you have as a leader, you can work in partnership with the AAPI community to amplify its voice and stop anti-Asian hate.
This article was originally posted on Inc.com
The post Why Anti-Asian Hate Should Matter to You appeared first on Maya Hu-Chan.
April 7, 2021
What I Learned About Leadership From My Autistic Children
My daughter’s favorite color is blue.
Until a few days ago, I didn’t know her favorite color. Although she is 23 years old, I’d never had a meaningful conversation with my daughter, Savannah, because she is autistic and nonverbal.
My husband and I are the parents of 23-year-old triplets, two boys and a girl, and Savannah and Ethan are both on the spectrum. For their entire lives until now, we understood their needs and wants by studying their body language. They’ve lived their lives without the ability to express themselves through words, facial expressions, or even eye contact. They have seemed indifferent to the circumstances around them and live in their own world — at least that’s how it seemed.
A year ago, we were introduced to a communications app that helps nonverbal individuals communicate. The app allows users to type out words and have them spoken back as they type.
We began working with a coach to help Ethan and Savannah learn how to use the app. The process started with us reading short stories from a workbook and then asking questions about them.
The first sessions were disasters. Not only did Ethan and Savannah not know the answers, but they also didn’t seem to grasp what we were doing. Whatever they did manage to type was gibberish. After 10 months, I wanted to quit.
Then, I thought, what if I approached the process with the tools I encourage my coaching clients to use with the people they lead? The result was a breakthrough that has transformed our family.
Here’s how these practices for clear communication and leadership played out with Savannah and Ethan — and how they can help you achieve breakthroughs with the people you lead.
Presume Competence
We assumed Ethan and Savannah had the potential to succeed with the app — it was our approach that was lacking.
The stories we read were about how plants grew, or the invention of the telephone. Could it be they found the stories boring?
I remembered that since the kids were toddlers, my husband would play the Beatles during drives to school. I started there.
“Savannah, could you name one of the Beatles’ songs?”
(typing) “Hey Jude.” “Let it be.”
“Where are the Beatles from?”
(typing) “Britain”
“Could you name one of the Beatles?”
(typing) “John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, and Ringo Starr.”
I was shocked! I couldn’t believe that moments before, I had been ready to quit when the potential to break through was there all along.
The lesson for leaders is to presume competence in the people they lead. Believe they can succeed. If you believe it, it’s likely they will believe it too.
Tap into emotional sensitivity
After a lifetime of paying attention to my children’s physical cues, I’ve developed an intuition of what they are thinking and feeling. This gives me clues that tell me when they’re engaged or disinterested. You can do this with your teams, too. Listen with more than your ears. Be mindful and present, tuning out distractions so that you can “listen” for information-rich nonverbal cues.
Emotional sensitivity also means acting with empathy. Putting myself in Ethan’s and Savannah’s shoes allowed me to realize they weren’t relating to the workbook stories. What do your people need, individually and as a team, to feel engaged? Once you find what that is, go with the flow and help them lead themselves.
Resilience and positive reinforcement
Once we had this breakthrough moment, I used positive reinforcement to encourage Savannah. This helped us both tap into the resilience we needed to keep going.
When I asked her what kind of car her dad drives, she typed, “Tesla.” When I asked who the head of Tesla was, she typed, “Elon Musk.” When I asked what other business Elon Musk is in, she typed, “SpaceX.” I was and continue to be astonished at the depth of all she knows.
And, of course, when I asked her favorite color, she emphatically typed, “Blue.” Imagine my surprise — for 23 years, I had been buying her pink and purple clothes!
This experience has been a personal revelation to my family. But it isn’t simply a story about autism and the breakthrough we experienced. It’s a story about how any leader can not only set their teams up for success but have them go beyond their highest expectations. By presuming the competence of your team, engaging your emotional sensitivity, and finding resilience through positive reinforcement, you can be the key to help unlock any door.
This article was originally posted in Inc.com
The post What I Learned About Leadership From My Autistic Children appeared first on Maya Hu-Chan.
February 15, 2021
Why Words Can Speak Louder Than Actions in Leadership
When I watched the inauguration of President Biden and Vice President Harris recently, I was struck not by what I saw but what I heard.
President Biden assured the nation that his “whole soul” is focused on “uniting our people.” The young poet Amanda Gorman captivated and inspired with her words: “A new dawn looms as we free it, for there is always light, if only we are brave enough to see it, if only we are brave enough to be it.”
I was reminded of what I observe of great leaders: Words, when selected and delivered with courage and integrity, are the foundation of true leadership.
Too often, leaders place their focus on actions instead of words, while ignoring that words lead to actions. Leaders don’t need to employ professional speech writers or poets. They just need to focus their words on clarity, empathy, courage, and integrity. The following tips can help.
Think before you speak
There’s a saying I heard frequently growing up in Taiwan: “Spilled water is hard to regain.” When words harm or cause someone to lose face, they cannot be unsaid. This is true even if the intentions behind our words are neutral or even positive.
For example, a client of mine–let’s call him Joe–was recently promoted to a VP role in a global telecommunications company. He communicates at a fast pace and wasn’t considering his words before reacting. When disagreeing with his team members, his tone often became short and abrupt, reacting with phrases such as “Are you kidding?” and “What are you talking about?” His team members felt put down and disrespected. After a short time, some even requested to be transferred to different teams.
Although Joe’s intent was not to demean his team members, the impact of his words did not align with his intent.
I encouraged Joe to pause before reacting and be mindful and intentional about his responses. While you think before you speak, ask:
How will my message be received or interpreted?What impact will it have on the other person? Is it useful?Is it kind?Label your statements
Joe faced another communication challenge in his new role. He discovered that whatever he said, even if simply thinking out loud or making a casual comment, was interpreted as orders. His team would quickly execute Joe’s off-the-cuff thoughts. This soon became a problem. Some of Joe’s spontaneous ideas were not thought through or ready to be acted on. This also created confusion and stress among his team.
I encouraged Joe to empathize with his team members. People tend to not question their boss so as to not to offend them. They assume their boss knows what they are doing. They want to impress their boss with quick action, even if, from Joe’s perspective, he was just thinking out loud.
Joe didn’t stop thinking out loud–instead, he started labeling his statements before making them. He let his team know he was just brainstorming, so they understood they were not expected to take action. By labeling his statements, Joe created space for his team members to feel invited into the discussion too.
Avoid safe talk
Leaders often use “safe talk” to avoid tough conversations. When we use safe talk, we think we’re protecting the feelings of the receiver by dropping hints, beating around the bush, or avoiding the truth entirely. It can seem “nice,” but by lacking clarity, safe talk confuses and misleads the receiver.
As author Brené Brown explains in Dare to Lead, we tell ourselves we are being kind, but we are actually being unkind and unfair. Safe talk is about making ourselves comfortable, not the other party. “Not getting clear with a colleague about your expectations because it feels too hard, yet holding them accountable or blaming them for not delivering is unkind,” Brown writes.
Instead of engaging in safe talk, have the courage — and vulnerability — to speak the truth. This doesn’t mean you neglect the feelings of the other party. Be deliberate and mindful with your word choice and make sure your message is clear and delivered with kindness and respect.
When leaders speak with clarity, courage, and respect for the receiver, mindful of the impact of their words, they are, as Amanda Gorman expressed in her poem, “Benevolent, but bold. Fierce and free.”
This article was originally posted in Inc.com
The post Why Words Can Speak Louder Than Actions in Leadership appeared first on Maya Hu-Chan.
January 25, 2021
Microaggressions and Psychological Safety: How They Are Linked
As companies embrace a new commitment to diversity and inclusion, they must address an essential truth: BIPOC (Black, indigenous, people of color) workers often face microaggressions in the workplace, and this makes it more difficult for them to experience psychological safety.
According to Amy Edmondson, the Harvard researcher who coined the term, Psychological safety is a shared belief held by members of a team that the team is safe for interpersonal risk-taking. People on teams with psychological safety feel as if their skills and talents are valued. They enjoy mutual respect and trust.
Microaggressions — subtle acts of exclusion that demean, belittle, or harm — can reinforce an insider/outsider dynamic and undermine psychological safety.
“Just being BIPOC, showing up is incredibly stressful,” explained Tiffany Jana, author of Subtle Acts of Exclusion: How to Understand, identify and Stop Microaggressions. “In so many ways people are directing bias on you, often unintentionally.”
In Saving Face: How to Preserve Dignity and Build Trust, I detail how “face” — an individual’s sense of dignity, self-esteem, and confidence — affects relationships. “Losing face” results in shame, loss of respect, and loss of dignity. When we “save face” for someone, we help them recover that loss. By continuously “honoring face,” we create the trust and respect that are the foundation of psychological safety.
When BIPOC workers experience microaggressions, they feel a loss of face. What can leaders do to help mitigate that loss and recover the trust needed for psychological safety?
The following tips can help.
Consider intent versus impact
Microaggressions may be unintentional or perceived as harmless. A comment about a Black worker’s hairstyle or an Asian colleague’s accent, or an assumption that a Latinx worker can easily translate a document into Spanish — acts like these erode face over time.
If you’ve committed a microaggression, help your colleague regain face by being responsible for your impact, regardless of your intent.
“When a person engages in subtle acts of exclusion, they tend to immediately default to their intent — ‘That’s not my intention’ — without considering the impact,” Jana says. “The initiator of the subtle act of exclusion must be willing to have some humility to believe BIPOC are suffering from the experience. They need to believe it is real, true and it hurts. Acknowledge that ‘I caused harm, even if I didn’t mean to.'”
Hold space
“Hold space” by listening to your BIPOC colleagues without judgment. Lead with curiosity. Be open to accepting the reality of their experiences — even if what they say might be difficult to hear.
Empathy is crucial for this step. Accept and validate the experiences of BIPOC colleagues. This is “honoring face.”
“Display empathy to acknowledge they are hurt. The psychological trauma has the same impact as the physical,” Jana says.
Raise your awareness
Learn about the different kinds of microaggressions so that when they happen, you have the awareness needed to identify and interrupt them.
“In a meeting, notice who is speaking up, and who is not. Whose opinion has more weight?” says Mary-Frances Winters, author of Black Fatigue. “For example, a Black woman raises a point but nobody acknowledges it. Five minutes later, someone else says the same thing and is taken seriously. Notice whose voice is amplified, and whose is not.”
We often miss microaggressions at the moment. An initial fight-or-flight reaction happens and we are too stunned to act, or we don’t realize what happened until we take time to reflect and process. Being an ally also means checking in after the fact, validating the experience, and offering support.
Hold self and one another accountable
Establish inclusive practices in meetings — when microaggressions can often occur — and hold one another accountable for maintaining them.
Ask team members to give peers their full attention when they speak. Allow people to take their time and complete their thoughts. Share what you, the leader, perceive as valuable about someone’s questions or comments. Use people’s names and refer back to earlier comments they made. Invite people who haven’t spoken into the conversation.
In the event of a microaggression, consider “calling in” instead of “calling out,” allowing someone to save face while still being held accountable.
“Have grace for self and for others. Don’t call people out, call them in,” Jana says. “Educate the initiator so they won’t keep doing it. Help them see the impact.”
Teams with psychological safety enjoy greater innovation, creativity, and productivity. To build the foundation of trust and respect needed for psychological safety, protect “face” as a guiding principle, always striving to save and honor face for all.
This article was originally posted in Inc.com
The post Microaggressions and Psychological Safety: How They Are Linked appeared first on Maya Hu-Chan.
January 18, 2021
How “Face” Can Help You Unlock the Power of Feedback
One of the most powerful acts of leadership is often one of the most overlooked: providing feedback.
In my book, “Saving Face: How to Preserve Dignity and Build Trust,” I detail how “face”—our sense of personal dignity, pride, and self-esteem—can be lost, recovered, and honored. Feedback plays a part in all three.
When leaders approach feedback thoughtfully, they inspire people to reach their highest potential. When they approach feedback carelessly—or not at all—things can unravel quickly.
Consider one of my clients, Mark.
Mark manages Joseph, one of his top salespeople. On a sales call regarding a large deal with a potential customer, Joseph got ahead of himself and committed to providing additional services that weren’t normally included. He hadn’t checked with his service department before the call.
When Mark learned of this, he told Joseph the company wasn’t prepared or able to provide the additional services he’d promised.
“In the future, you should check with the service department before offering items outside the normal scope of services,” Mark said.
Joseph was devastated. He was sure his actions jeopardized his future with the company. He took a drastic measure: He submitted his resignation.
Mark was shocked. He immediately reassured Joseph that he was doing a great job—the feedback was meant to correct a simple miscalculation. Mark assured Joseph that he appreciates his work. He asked him to stay with the company. Joseph accepted.
People often personalize negative feedback, perceiving it as an attack on their character, a loss of face. In this example, the loss was too much for Joseph to bear.
Does this mean leaders should never deliver critical, constructive feedback? Not at all. Critical feedback is crucial for growth. But it can be delivered in ways that preserve the receiver’s dignity, helping avoid reactions like Joseph’s—or lesser reactions that can build up over time, eroding confidence and face.
Tips to Keep in Mind
Here’s how to maximize the potential of feedback—and avoid its pitfalls.
Avoid blunt talk. Some leaders think being “direct” is the best approach to delivering feedback. While authenticity is valuable, bluntness is something different. Bluntness can cause the feedback receiver to lose face.With blunt talk, clarity and accuracy often aren’t important. The receiver’s feelings aren’t considered—the feedback giver just needs to get things off their chest. The receiver doesn’t feel respected and feels blamed or unappreciated. They put up walls, and often can’t even hear, let alone accept or process, the feedback. Sometimes, they become so resentful they don’t make the needed changes. The feedback completely backfires.
When people use blunt talk, they often don’t consider whether it’s the right time and place to deliver feedback.
Consider my client, Linda. She previously communicated exclusively through Slack. She even used it when delivering critical feedback to individual people—in full view of the entire team.
Linda thought she was being efficient, but her team grew to fear taking risks because doing so could mean making mistakes and losing face.
After realizing this, Linda started using Slack for general communication only. She delivered feedback offline (and ideally face-to-face).
Avoid safe talk. Safe talk is the opposite of blunt talk, but equally damaging.
People use safe talk when they are uncomfortable with being direct. Instead, they drop hints. Their messages are vague and ambiguous, leaving the receiver puzzled—or in the dark. They may have intended to save face and preserve harmony, but instead, they created confusion.
Take the example of John. He leads the marketing division of a multinational firm. He manages Cory, who has excelled in his short time with the company but recently delivered two sales forecasts with inaccurate data.
Before the next forecast, John decides to review Cory’s preliminary figures alongside him. But first, he corrects mistakes in the report. John gives Cory the corrected version, telling him how much he appreciates his work. He doesn’t address the mistakes or show Cory how to fix them.
John used “safe talk.” He avoided the uncomfortable, but necessary, discussion about the errors. Instead, he assumed Cory would notice on his own. But Cory didn’t notice, and the errors continued.
Use straight talk. This style of communicating feedback helps preserve the dignity of the receiver without sacrificing the integrity of the message.
Straight talk means communicating accurately and clearly, but in a way that makes the other person feel respected. Feedback is delivered in a private, safe environment. The content is based on facts and expectations are clear.
Let’s imagine John used straight talk with Cory.
First, John would make sure the conversation takes place privately. Then, he’d ask Cory to self-reflect about the reports. What went well? John would affirm Cory’s observations and add his own.
He then would ask Cory if he saw room for improvement. If Cory doesn’t mention the errors, John would point them out, providing specific instructions on how to fix them.
Finally, John would ask Cory to summarize what he would do differently in the future, and what he would keep the same.
Cory is left with a clear sense of what is expected of him. He also feels respected. He does not lose face.
Focus on “feedforward.” It’s necessary to deliver feedback, but don’t stop there.
To set people up for success, take the time to coach your employees on lessons learned, and practical next steps to move things forward. In the John and Cory example, feedforward was the last step of the reimagined straight talk interaction, a collaboration on how to advance Cory’s work in the future.
Feedback focuses on the past. Feedforward focuses on the future, keeping people inspired and motivated to continue on a path to growth.
Feedback is a necessary and impactful part of leadership. Use straight talk, give positive, as well as negative feedback, including feedforward, and always keep the receiver’s dignity and face in mind. Then, feedback can become one of your most powerful tools.
This article was originally published in Training.com
The post How “Face” Can Help You Unlock the Power of Feedback appeared first on Maya Hu-Chan.
January 12, 2021
IMS VIRTUAL PROGRAM WITH MAYA HU-CHAN
This is a replay of a webinar with the Institue for Management Studies, a Virtual Learning Journey.
Click here to watch the webinar.
Moderator Charles Good, President
Karla Peters-Van Havel, IMS Corporate Communications
Jon Peters, IMS, and Founder of ATHENAONLINE
The post IMS VIRTUAL PROGRAM WITH MAYA HU-CHAN appeared first on Maya Hu-Chan.
December 15, 2020
Calling In Vs. Calling Out: How to Talk About Inclusion
The journey to inclusion is filled with missteps. Here’s how to navigate through them with compassion and grace.
I recently served on a panel at a town hall for a global company. The topic was “Combating Racism in the Workplace.” I brought attention to the rise of hostility and racist acts against Asian-Americans during the Covid pandemic. Shortly after I spoke, I received a private message from one of the company’s workers.
“My manager constantly refers to Covid as the ‘Chinese flu,'” the message read. “I am Asian-American and it makes me very uncomfortable. Is it ethical?”
As companies join the national conversation on racism and anti-racism, they renew their focus on diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) initiatives. But it’s crucial to remember that inclusion and equity aren’t achieved after a one-time webinar.
Leading and communicating inclusively is like developing a new, healthy habit. It takes daily practice and trial and error to build muscle memory. Over time, it becomes natural and automatic.
If leaders want to create change in their organizations, they must address instances of microaggressions, which, like the above example, are actions or words that land with harm on someone of a marginalized group. As Karen Catlin writes in Better Allies: Everyday Actions to Create Inclusive, Engaging Workplaces, we must be upstanders, not bystanders. An upstander sees wrongdoing and acts to combat it.
There are moments when “calling someone out” is appropriate, to stop words or actions that are actively hurting someone. But, often, it’s effective to instead “call someone in.” When we call someone in, we acknowledge we all make mistakes. We help someone discover why their behavior is harmful, and how to change it. And we do it with compassion and patience.
These conversations can be difficult. I developed a 5-step communication approach — the B.U.I.L.D. model — to help leaders navigate these challenging conversations.
Benevolence
The first step of calling someone in is to have their best interest in hand while holding them accountable. Approach the conversation with respect and kindness, yet remain firm in communicating the impact of their actions.
This approach helps create psychological safety. People feel respected and not on guard, thus more open to feedback and change. By giving them the benefit of the doubt, they know you have their back. You create a climate for vulnerability, mutual trust, and respect. This is the foundation of inclusive communication.
Understanding
Practice deep listening to understand the facts of the situation, as well as the feelings and values of the individual. This will help you gain insight into the intentions behind their actions. This step requires listening in a way we don’t often do in everyday life. I’m always reminded of the Chinese character for “listen,” 聽 (ting), which is a composite of the characters of one ear, ten eyes, and one heart. As you listen, also be aware of your own biases and assumptions, as they can affect your understanding of the other person’s intentions, feelings, and values.
Interacting
Get off autopilot and engage with curiosity — not pre-judgment — as your guide. Take on the mindset of an investigative journalist by asking non-leading “what” and “how” questions:
“What was your intention when you said …?”
“How might the other person view this situation?”
“Tell me more.”
Learning
The goal of calling someone in is to help them evolve. Acknowledge that mistakes happen. Correcting them requires expanding our reference points and understanding different perspectives and experiences.
In the event that someone calls you out, think before you react. First, thank the person for sharing this valuable feedback with you. Second, think about their input. What does it mean? What will you do with it? Third, respond positively. Fourth, act on what you learn.
Delivery
This is when you put it all together into action. Often, the action includes providing constructive feedback using “straight talk” — saying what needs to be said to the right person, at the right time and right place, respectfully, accurately, and clearly. Help them understand that inclusion is a continuous, all-hands practice, and this conversation is one step forward.
I hope the manager of the person who messaged me during the town hall was approached by someone acting as an upstander. I hope they were “called in” with benevolence and curiosity, by someone who not only cared for the emotional safety of the Asian Americans in the company but the inclusion and belonging of everyone who works there.
This article was originally posted on Inc.com
The post Calling In Vs. Calling Out: How to Talk About Inclusion appeared first on Maya Hu-Chan.
Saving Face: The New Social Currency of Our Time
True leaders know that managing a company requires far more than just issuing instructions or setting targets. Leaders must move in many circles, think in many styles, and run their businesses through a global lens.
At the heart of human connection that makes all this possible is a concept that is deeply rooted in Asian culture, but universal to all: the concept of face.
What drives a company’s success?
When companies thrive, we often attribute their success to characteristics such as efficiency, technology, or innovation. But taking a closer look behind those metrics shows a trait that’s far less tangible but equally vital—human connection.
It’s the soft skills of empathy, thoughtfulness, and effective communication that binds companies (and teams) together. Today, everyone—from CEOs to managers, entrepreneurs, and even individual contributors—must adapt to an increasingly diverse clientele, workforces, and business partners. They need to attract, retain and motivate teams and employees across distances, time zones, and cultural differences.
True leaders know that managing a company requires far more than just issuing instructions or setting targets. Leaders must move in many circles, think in many styles, and run their businesses through a global lens.
At the heart of human connection that makes all this possible is a concept that is deeply rooted in Asian culture, but universal to all: the concept of face.
So, what is face?
Face represents a person’s self-esteem, self-worth, identity, reputation, status, and pride. It speaks to a deeper need for dignity and acceptance, and the ways we grant dignity to one another. Understanding this universal human concept can help us make the most of our interpersonal relationships.
When we lose face, we lose a sense of dignity and acceptance. We can grant dignity and acceptance to one another—that is honoring face. When we help someone recover after losing face or help them avoid an unnecessary negative consequence, we help them save face.
Honoring and saving face requires authenticity. The authentic act of saving face requires a positive intention and understanding others’ frame of reference without judgment. Without positive intention and acceptance, the act of saving face can be perceived as manipulative, superficial, or phony.
Even in the midst of the Covid-19 pandemic, there are many examples of leaders honoring face in their decisions to support their own employees. Whether it’s Delta Airline’s president forgoing his salary for the year to do his part in diminishing potential layoffs or Aldi markets giving each store employee a 10 percent bonus for their efforts while working during the crisis, successful leaders understand their actions serve not only the needs of their employees but send a powerful message—that their employees efforts are valued and appreciated.
Think of face as a type of social currency and every employee is a bank account. From that perspective, one can imagine how we build a supply of face with someone by continuously making deposits. The more deposits are made, the larger the account and the more each employee is empowered to contribute to the cause. The sum of deposits in trust and/or credibility, are the building blocks of successful business relationships.
Successful leaders understand their actions serve not only the needs of their employees, but send a powerful message—that their employees efforts are valued and appreciated.
How does one go about building these relationships? How do you build that supply of face with someone? I’ve found there are five keys that are crucial building blocks to forming strong, productive business relationships. It’s what I call the BUILD model.
BUILD stands for:
Benevolence/Accountability
Understanding
Interacting
Learning
Delivery
Benevolence & Accountability. Benevolence, when applied in a workplace setting, is much more than just about being nice. It’s about nurturing and supporting a team. The key is to put thought into actions big and small that are, most importantly, genuine. For example, @Pizza’s CEO Michael Lastoria recently notified his employees that the company is offering free, unlimited pizzas to them and their immediate families during the Covid crisis.
It could be as simple as remembering an employee’s birthday. Without a manager’s benevolence toward their direct reports, it’s hard to develop a team with any sense of loyalty. If the relationship between manager and direct report or peer-to-peer is primarily a transactional one, meaning that they work together only to serve their own needs and not anyone else’s, there is very little cohesiveness.
In another example of a company’s leaders acting benevolently towards their employees during the Covid crisis, Forbes reports:
Starbucks, perhaps identifying the anxiety piece of this crisis, has extended its mental health benefits. In partnership with Lyra Health, Starbucks is offering its partners personalized, confidential mental health care, 20 free in-person or video sessions every year for partners and each of their eligible family members, online scheduling with most providers available within two weeks, and access to a provider network of mental health therapists and coaches.
I view “benevolence” and “accountability” together because, without accountability, benevolence might leave the impression that lasting business or personal relationships depend on never challenging or correcting behavior in order to maintain harmony, which obviously doesn’t work. It’s not about simply “going along to get along.” It’s about addressing issues and problems in a benevolent way.
Understanding. The ability of a leader to truly understand the dynamics within a business team requires the leader to view situations from different perspectives. In order to be able to save face for those on your team and get the clearest understanding of complex problems and obstacles, you as a leader must be able to view the situation from different angles.
There’s a Chinese saying that simply translated says, “Don’t be a frog living at the bottom of a well.” Such a frog has a very narrow view of the world. All the frog can see is a tiny sphere of sky. Only by climbing (or leaping) out of a well can a frog really get a fuller perspective of the world.
The ability for a leader to truly understand the dynamics within a business team requires the leader to view situations from different perspectives.
A perfect example of this is from a scene from the Tom Hank’s movie, Castaway. Towards the beginning of the movie, Hank’s character wakes up after a tumultuous night of clinging to a life raft in the ocean during a monster storm and finds that he’s landed on the beach of a tropical island.
After collecting as much debris and other material to help him survive, he wanders along the length of the beach and into the jungle to determine where he is, or at least the nature of his situation. He doesn’t know if he’s on an island or larger territory, and he doesn’t know whether there might be others on the island that might be able to help him.
It isn’t until he climbs up to the highest peak of the island and walks along the circumference of the peak and sees nothing but ocean surrounding the tiny island that he discovers that he is truly alone, and he will have to survive completely on his own.
Every complex organization is a web of communication between people working near and far—a global leader must see how every decision has an impact far beyond what they might normally expect. The ability of a global leader to clearly understand situations that arise within a complex business environment, and come up with solutions that will address the situation directly and completely, ultimately keeps the team working productively and saves face even during a crisis.
Interacting. In order to be an effective global leader, your skill set must include the ability to thoroughly interact with your boss, peers, direct reports, business partners, and customers, whether they are in your office or located thousands of miles away.
To interact means far more than the ability to communicate verbally or electronically via email or text—as much as 93 percent of a message is conveyed through body language, recognizing cultural differences and idioms, the tone and rhythm of the voice, and the pace and volume of the voice.
I once had a Singaporean executive come to me, looking distraught. I asked him what was the matter. He said, “My boss thinks that I’m stupid. He thinks that I’m an idiot”. Having met his American boss, I immediately thought there must be some kind of mistake. I said, “Are you sure? What exactly happened?”
He said, “I was giving him a report on an important project we’ve been working on. An issue came up and I needed to make a decision, which I did. So, I reported back on what my decision was and I told him what I’d done, he said, “Alright, that’s a no-brainer.”’
After a bit of discussion around the choice of words, we both shared a laugh. The point remains, however, that effective communication, from both sides, requires thoughtful deliberation and clarity.
As much as 93 percent of a message is conveyed through body language, recognizing cultural differences and idioms, the tone and rhythm of the voice, and the pace and volume of the voice.
Having a deep connection and rapport with your audience also strengthens interactions. When you’ve established rapport, the message conveyed by someone is informed by what you know of them—their desires, their preferences, their motives, and their personality.
Interaction involves both the message and the method of conveying the message. It’s also about creating the context in which clear conversations can be had. And of course, the ability to interact effectively creates an environment where “face” is protected and strengthened.
Learning. The most successful people on earth, and its greatest leaders, have a constant urge to learn new things. They know that, in the grander scheme of things, their personal knowledge base is minute, and the rapid change of the world demands that they make the effort to stay current. They manage to keep the curiosity of youth throughout their adult years.
Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft and one of the wealthiest men on earth, recently revealed that one of his biggest regrets was not learning a second language. During a Reddit chat, he said, “I feel pretty stupid that I don’t know any foreign languages.”
Think about it. This is a man who created a company that produces software that over 90 percent of computer users use. And if that wasn’t enough, he may have the most notable second act of anyone in history.
He and his wife’s foundation, the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, is the largest charitable foundation in the world and is rapidly working to cure many of the globe’s greatest ills—poverty, water sanitation, and even funding the development of several potential Covid-19 vaccines. Still, even with all of those accomplishments, there’s more that he’d like to learn.
I tell my clients that there are four “P’s” when it comes to learning: passion, practice, persistence, and pattern recognition. Passion indicates someone’s motivation to learn. Unless you can muster the passion to learn something new, you probably won’t. As the saying goes, “Practice makes perfect.” Persistence is what pushes people to go beyond what they think they can do. It’s the persistent ones who manage to accomplish the hard things.
Once you’ve mastered the first three “P’s,” your efforts will inevitably lead you to the fourth “P,” pattern recognition. Pattern recognition occurs when you’ve begun to master a particular skill or subject and you’ve learned enough to spot patterns or trends that others don’t see. You become stronger in your skills and the task at hand becomes easier.
The most successful people on earth, and its greatest leaders, have a constant urge to learn new things.
Delivery. Delivery is where the BUILD model all comes together. You’ve demonstrated to your team that you practice benevolence and accountability. Those on your team, through your actions, can see that you have their best interests at heart. You’ve made an effort to understand the dynamics of your team both locally and globally. You’ve looked at the team from different angles—face-to-face and from afar. You interact with your team on a regular basis, getting to know their interests and their personal and professional goals, and show a general interest in them. And you push yourself to learn more about the functions of your job, of the team at large, and what the company is setting out to do. Delivery is simply putting it all together.
While the BUILD model will certainly benefit leaders working in any capacity, it’s particularly relevant for global leaders working cross-culturally because it gives them the tools necessary to overcome differences in language, culture, time zones, politics, and geography. It’s a powerful combination.
The BUILD model is the key to being a powerful leader. It puts strong teams on a solid footing and it can turn around teams that succumb to office politics or overall dysfunction. Your team can become a symphony, working in harmony and in unison, in a way that preserves and builds face for all.
When a team works in harmony, it is connected. Each member feels accepted—their dignity and face preserved and honored.
In our modern, globally connected world, business moves fast, and the potential for losing face is high. But if we seek to value human connection and empathetic leadership, we can actively honor and preserve face and build strong, lasting business relationships.
The post Saving Face: The New Social Currency of Our Time appeared first on Maya Hu-Chan.
