Maya Hu-Chan's Blog, page 2

3 Tips to Overcome Micro-Inequities at Work

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Behaviors like this can be described as micro-inequities, a term coined by MIT professor, Mary Rowe, in 1973. Micro-inequities are small, subtle behaviors that overlook, single out, or discount someone, often based on unconscious bias against characteristics such as race and gender. Now it’s not up to Susan to rewrite her colleagues’ unconscious biases. It is the job of everyone in the company to create a more inclusive environment. However, there are things Susan can do to take back power in the situation. These are steps that you can take too if you ever find yourself in a similar situation.\n

1. Change your mindset about bragging. Susan has accomplished extraordinary things with her team, but that doesn’t necessarily mean other leaders know what she’s done. Without that established credibility her colleagues may not be eager to hear her ideas. So I asked Susan why she hasn’t shared her successes with other leaders. “Well, I’m British,” she responded. “I don’t want to brag.” Being uncomfortable bragging or self-promoting can be tied to cultures as well as gender. Studies often find that women find it more difficult to tout their achievements than men do, even at the senior level.\n

If self-promotion feels uncomfortable, change your mindset about it. You are doing more than promoting yourself. You’re promoting your team. Instead of bragging, frame it this way. I’m sharing the team’s accomplishments, so we can build on this momentum to push things forward, so it benefits the entire company. If you take the focus off of yourself and onto the organization, you may feel more confident promoting your achievements. Share best practices of how you and your team serve customers, increase revenues, and benefit the organization.\n

2. Get buy-in from key stakeholders. Susan often feels like the lone wolf in the boardroom. I recommended that she builds alliances with the colleagues with shared values and interest, so they can support her when she speaks up and vouch for her value. When President Obama took office, 2\/3 of his top aides were men. His female aides complained of being ignored and talked-over during meetings, so they adopted a strategy. When a woman offered an idea or insight, other women would repeat what she said making sure to attach her name to the idea as well. This strategy, which they named amplification, forced the men in the room to recognize the contributions of their female colleagues and give them credit. If Susan gets buy-in from key stakeholders in her company, she can have her own amplification system.","hover":"One of my clients is experiencing a professional obstacle that is all too common. Susan is a passionate, driven, high-performing leader. She often has a seat at the table with other company leaders. However, she feels that although she has a seat, she does not have a voice. Susan's often interrupted at meetings. Her contributions are brushed off or worse. Sometimes her ideas are ignored only to be repeated by a colleague the next day or even 15 minutes later, at which point they're enthusiastically embraced by the team.\n

Behaviors like this can be described as micro-inequities, a term coined by MIT professor, Mary Rowe, in 1973. Micro-inequities are small, subtle behaviors that overlook, single out, or discount someone, often based on unconscious bias against characteristics such as race and gender. Now it's not up to Susan to rewrite her colleagues' unconscious biases. It is the job of everyone in the company to create a more inclusive environment. However, there are things Susan can do to take back power in the situation. These are steps that you can take too if you ever find yourself in a similar situation.\n

1. Change your mindset about bragging. Susan has accomplished extraordinary things with her team, but that doesn't necessarily mean other leaders know what she's done. Without that established credibility her colleagues may not be eager to hear her ideas. So I asked Susan why she hasn't shared her successes with other leaders. \"Well, I'm British,\" she responded. \"I don't want to brag.\" Being uncomfortable bragging or self-promoting can be tied to cultures as well as gender. Studies often find that women find it more difficult to tout their achievements than men do, even at the senior level.\n

If self-promotion feels uncomfortable, change your mindset about it. You are doing more than promoting yourself. You're promoting your team. Instead of bragging, frame it this way. I'm sharing the team's accomplishments, so we can build on this momentum to push things forward, so it benefits the entire company. If you take the focus off of yourself and onto the organization, you may feel more confident promoting your achievements. Share best practices of how you and your team serve customers, increase revenues, and benefit the organization.\n

2. Get buy-in from key stakeholders. Susan often feels like the lone wolf in the boardroom. I recommended that she builds alliances with the colleagues with shared values and interest, so they can support her when she speaks up and vouch for her value. When President Obama took office, 2\/3 of his top aides were men. His female aides complained of being ignored and talked-over during meetings, so they adopted a strategy. When a woman offered an idea or insight, other women would repeat what she said making sure to attach her name to the idea as well. This strategy, which they named amplification, forced the men in the room to recognize the contributions of their female colleagues and give them credit. If Susan gets buy-in from key stakeholders in her company, she can have her own amplification system.\n

3. Look at your own subconscious behaviors. Micro-inequities are behaviors delivered and perceived at a subconscious level. But Susan was also communicating subconscious messages that were holding her back. First, we analyzed her patterns of speech. At the senior level, executives prefer communication that is brief, succinct, and to the point. Susan's technical background cultivated a way of communicating that was much more thorough, detailed, and lengthy. We worked on refining her messages to be succinct and to the point. It makes it easier for others to receive and appreciate her messages.\n

Secondly, we looked at her nonverbal communication. Was she sitting upright, with open body language, projecting ease and confidence? Where she sat in the room also sent a message. So when people sit in an outer ring, away from the seats at the conference table, or off in a corner, they communicate that they're outsiders and they're difficult to hear and see. I encouraged Susan to position herself in the center sending the subconscious message that she not only belongs, she deserves to have the attention of the entire room.\n

In summary, here are three things that you can do to combat micro-inequity at work. Change your mindset about bragging, get buy-in from key stakeholders, and look at your own subconscious behaviors. We cannot change the subconscious biases and behaviors of others, but we can control the image that we project, our mindset, and having the confidence that we deserve a place and a voice at the table."}},"slug":"et_pb_text"}">One of my clients is experiencing a professional obstacle that is all too common. Susan is a passionate, driven, high-performing leader. She often has a seat at the table with other company leaders. However, she feels that although she has a seat, she does not have a voice. Susan’s often interrupted at meetings. Her contributions are brushed off or worse. Sometimes her ideas are ignored only to be repeated by a colleague the next day or even 15 minutes later, at which point they’re enthusiastically embraced by the team.

Behaviors like this can be described as micro-inequities, a term coined by MIT professor, Mary Rowe, in 1973. Micro-inequities are small, subtle behaviors that overlook, single out, or discount someone, often based on unconscious bias against characteristics such as race and gender. Now it’s not up to Susan to rewrite her colleagues’ unconscious biases. It is the job of everyone in the company to create a more inclusive environment. However, there are things Susan can do to take back power in the situation. These are steps that you can take too if you ever find yourself in a similar situation.

1. Change your mindset about bragging. Susan has accomplished extraordinary things with her team, but that doesn’t necessarily mean other leaders know what she’s done. Without that established credibility her colleagues may not be eager to hear her ideas. So I asked Susan why she hasn’t shared her successes with other leaders. “Well, I’m British,” she responded. “I don’t want to brag.” Being uncomfortable bragging or self-promoting can be tied to cultures as well as gender. Studies often find that women find it more difficult to tout their achievements than men do, even at the senior level.

If self-promotion feels uncomfortable, change your mindset about it. You are doing more than promoting yourself. You’re promoting your team. Instead of bragging, frame it this way. I’m sharing the team’s accomplishments, so we can build on this momentum to push things forward, so it benefits the entire company. If you take the focus off of yourself and onto the organization, you may feel more confident promoting your achievements. Share best practices of how you and your team serve customers, increase revenues, and benefit the organization.

2. Get buy-in from key stakeholders. Susan often feels like the lone wolf in the boardroom. I recommended that she builds alliances with the colleagues with shared values and interest, so they can support her when she speaks up and vouch for her value. When President Obama took office, 2/3 of his top aides were men. His female aides complained of being ignored and talked-over during meetings, so they adopted a strategy. When a woman offered an idea or insight, other women would repeat what she said making sure to attach her name to the idea as well. This strategy, which they named amplification, forced the men in the room to recognize the contributions of their female colleagues and give them credit. If Susan gets buy-in from key stakeholders in her company, she can have her own amplification system.

3. Look at your own subconscious behaviors. Micro-inequities are behaviors delivered and perceived at a subconscious level. But Susan was also communicating subconscious messages that were holding her back. First, we analyzed her patterns of speech. At the senior level, executives prefer communication that is brief, succinct, and to the point. Susan’s technical background cultivated a way of communicating that was much more thorough, detailed, and lengthy. We worked on refining her messages to be succinct and to the point. It makes it easier for others to receive and appreciate her messages.

Secondly, we looked at her nonverbal communication. Was she sitting upright, with open body language, projecting ease and confidence? Where she sat in the room also sent a message. So when people sit in an outer ring, away from the seats at the conference table, or off in a corner, they communicate that they’re outsiders and they’re difficult to hear and see. I encouraged Susan to position herself in the center sending the subconscious message that she not only belongs, she deserves to have the attention of the entire room.

In summary, here are three things that you can do to combat micro-inequity at work.

1. Change your mindset about bragging.
2. Get buy-in from key stakeholders
3. Look at your own subconscious behaviors.

We cannot change the subconscious biases and behaviors of others, but we can control the image that we project, our mindset, and having the confidence that we deserve a place and a voice at the table.

My book, Saving Face: How to Preserve Dignity and Build Trust, illustrates how we can honor face to create positive first impressions, avoid causing others to lose face, and, most importantly, help others save face to build trust and lasting relationships inside and outside the workplace.

Click here to watch the video.

This video was originally posted on AthenaOnline.com

How One Leader Turned a Bad Joke Into an Opportunity for Inclusion

My client turned an unfortunate event into a chance to create a stronger, more inclusive culture. Here’s what you can learn from her approach.

My client, Jasmine, received a whistleblower report of a microaggression against someone on her team. Many leaders might minimize the incident or ignore it entirely, but Jasmine used it as an opportunity to reinforce a culture of inclusion and accountability for not only the perpetrator and victim but her entire department.

Jasmine leads a large corporate legal team. As a Black woman, she is personally aware of the harm of microaggressions. She knew she had to act.

The whistleblower said they overheard their colleague, Evan, talking about another colleague, Sandra. They had both been up for a promotion, but Sandra got the role. “Obviously because she’s LGBTQ,” Evan said, laughing, assuring everyone he was only joking.

Jasmine’s first decision was to protect the whistleblower’s identity. She didn’t want to betray their trust, which would also discourage others from stepping forward in the future. Then, she knew she had to address Evan directly.

In an email, she stated that discriminatory statements — even delivered as “jokes” — are not tolerated. She also advised him to act with grace in the face of disappointment, instead of lashing out with demeaning behavior.

In a reply, Evan said he appreciated that Jasmine helped him “save face” by giving feedback in private. He also acknowledged he didn’t realize his “joke” could have unintended consequences on others and his own reputation.

Later that day, during a management staff meeting, Jasmine told her peers about the incident. She didn’t reveal names, but she made her peers aware of this type of behavior, its potential for harm, and their responsibilities as leaders to address it.

Jasmine then took things one step further. She emailed her entire department — more than 200 people — to emphasize her expectations of appropriate behavior, zero tolerance for microaggressions, and whistleblower protection.

Afterward, several people thanked Jasmine for shedding light on the issue.

I asked Jasmine to reflect on her response to the incident. Her reply offers lessons for all leaders navigating similar issues:

1. Create a “learning zone”
Amy Edmundson, the organizational psychologist who coined the term “psychological safety,” posits that leaders must balance psychological safety and accountability to facilitate growth. With too little psychological safety and too little accountability, people are in the “apathy zone” — they’re indifferent, checked out, and disengaged. With high psychological safety and low accountability, people are in comfort zones, with little incentive to change. An environment of high accountability and low psychological safety creates anxiety and fear of taking risks. But when leaders create an environment of high accountability and high psychological safety, they’re in a “learning zone,” able to learn and grow from mistakes such as Evan’s.

Jasmine helped Evan into that zone by keeping the feedback private and respectfully and candidly insisting on accountability.

“I wanted to show Evan a good example of how to deal with this kind of situation as a leader. I also wanted to engage him in a positive way — to say, I value you as an employee, and this behavior won’t be tolerated,” she said.

2. Understand the big impact of microaggressions
Jasmine knew that although this was an isolated incident, brushing it under the rug could have ripple effects across the entire team.

“It’s like a virus. It can spread quickly if someone sees behavior like this. As a leader, I have the responsibility to create inclusion and psychological safety for all. Everyone needed to be reminded of the expectations and what kind of culture we want to create,” Jasmine said.

Jasmine’s department-wide email also validated the experience of anyone who overheard and was troubled by Evan’s words. It let them know that action was taken, reinforcing a culture of inclusion with not only words but also actions.

“It’s my responsibility to set the right expectations and the right tone,” she said.

When facing incidents of bias or discrimination in your own teams, remember Jasmine’s multilayered response. By creating an environment of both high psychological safety and high accountability, she not only helped a promising leader learn from their mistake, but also helped create a truly inclusive workplace for her whole team.

My book, Saving Face: How to Preserve Dignity and Build Trust, illustrates how we can honor face to create positive first impressions, avoid causing others to lose face, and, most importantly, help others save face to build trust and lasting relationships inside and outside the workplace.

3 Strategies to Be an Inclusive Leader

An inclusive leader gives space for themselves and others to reflect and to listen. They’re conscientious about how they show up as a leader. When a leader is inclusive, engaging, and courageous, everyone else shows up that way too. There are three specific things inclusive leaders can do to help foster a company-wide innovative mindset.

1. Create psychological safety. Harvard Business School professor Amy Edmondson defines psychological safety as a group culture in which everyone in the group feels that they are safe to take interpersonal risks. So, what does that culture look like? When Google set out to study its most high-performing teams, they discovered that in those teams everyone took equal turns speaking. They had high social sensitivity, which means that they were sensitive to the tone of the voice, facial expressions, and body language of their colleagues, and used this nonverbal information to really understand how their team members feel. It’s in this kind of culture that people feel safest to express themselves, flex their creativity, and take the risks that lead to innovation. It takes an inclusive leader to be aware of and create a condition that leads to psychological safety.

2. Employ a cultural broker. By now, most companies are aware that diverse teams deliver better business results. But what many companies don’t know is how to facilitate and manage the conflicting norms, miscommunications, and misguided assumptions that can arise in diverse teams. This is where cultural brokerage comes in.

Professor Sujin Jang defines cultural brokerage as the act of facilitating interactions across parties from different cultural backgrounds. Someone who acts as a cultural broker acts as a bridge between teammates of different cultures. And there are two types of cultural brokers. The first is cultural insiders. Now they have multicultural experiences that align directly with the culture represented in their team. For example, in a team with mostly Chinese and American workers, a cultural insider is someone who has firsthand knowledge of both cultures. This cultural brokerage can integrate information and ideas from both cultures proposing ideas and solutions that combine elements of each.

The second type of cultural broker is the cultural outsider. This is someone with experience in two or more cultures not represented in their team. In this American and Chinese team example, a cultural outsider could have experience with, say, French and Malaysian cultures. Even though they don’t directly have knowledge of Chinese American culture, their cultural antenna is sharper than their monocultural counterparts. Because of this, they can act as a neutral third party and facilitate the differences in backgrounds. An inclusive leader is aware of the needs of a diverse team. If someone doesn’t emerge as a natural cultural broker, an inclusive leader recognizes the need for this role and enlists the help of an external intercultural consultant. When teams can work through cultural differences, they work more effectively and harmoniously. Innovation thrives in those conditions.

3. Embrace work-life integration. Experts have begun to recognize that the ideal of work-life balance is unrealistic and even undesired, especially among millennial workers who often prefer flexibility and a seamless integration of their personal and professional lives. These workers might reject a rigid nine-to-five structure. They might not mind answering emails at 8 p.m. because they took a two-hour lunch to reconnect with a friend and left the office early for a family event. Work-life integration has begun to emerge as a new ideal. An inclusive leader embraces those new norms and they don’t assume identical lifestyles among their diverse team members. They understand their individual needs and support their efforts to find harmony. When workers feel confident they are meeting the needs of their work and personal lives, they feel safe enough to bring their best self to work. And that contributes to an innovative mindset.

To be an inclusive leader and build an innovative team culture, you can follow these three steps:
1. Create psychological safety
2. Employ a cultural broker
3. And embrace work-life integration.

My book, Saving Face: How to Preserve Dignity and Build Trust, illustrates how we can honor face to create positive first impressions, avoid causing others to lose face, and, most importantly, help others save face to build trust and lasting relationships inside and outside the workplace.

Click here to watch the video.

This video was originally posted on AthenaOnline.com

3 Steps to Think Globally

When you hear the phrase, thinking globally, you might imagine focusing on international business or finding markets around the world. However, in the context of leading with an innovative mindset, the word global means much more.

Consider Chinese e-commerce and tech company, Alibaba. This wildly successful, multinational e-commerce company is guided by a simple mission; make it easy to do business anywhere. Alibaba’s platform connects small mom-and-pop sellers to customers around the world. The sellers on their platform are not competitors, they’re partners. Their interests are aligned. The company shares data with brands to empower them to sell more on the platform. The better the partners do, the better Alibaba does. This is thinking globally, thinking broadly and beyond your own company. It’s an approach that not only helps make Alibaba one of the largest companies in the world, but also helps lift millions of people out of poverty, into successful entrepreneurship. Alibaba’s simple, clear mission is an example of the first of three steps to thinking globally.

1. Provide the vision and purpose. Alibaba’s mission, make it easy to do business anywhere, led its workers to develop the open ecosystem, collective entrepreneurial model that fulfills that mission. Leaders must make sure that their entire company is grounded in the same direction, provide clear direction and vision that people can follow, and, just like Alibaba, create a mission that inspires others to think beyond boundaries.

2. Slow down, explore, and connect the dots. Thinking globally can be defined as thinking holistically. Always keep the big picture in mind, to see the forest and the trees, to slow down, even if just temporarily, to explore, to be more deliberate in understanding the details of a situation, to observe patterns, and to consider different points of view and perspectives. This type of thinking requires us to be open to possibilities. Rather than identifying right or wrong answers, the goal is to explore multiple possibilities.

The animation company, Pixar, exemplifies this with a collaborative technique it called plussing. They ask collaborators to build on ideas without using judgmental language. Instead of rejecting an idea, a collaborator finds something to build on, which inspires another collaborator to find something else to build on, and so on. So for example, “I like that Nemo is a clownfish. What if we made one of his fins much smaller than the other?” This technique allows every idea to be explored for all its possibilities. It also inspires people to remain curious, listen actively, respect ideas of others, and contribute their own. This type of global thinking, keeps all possibilities on the table, inspires others to not only think outside the box, but to imagine there is no box.

3. Hire T-shaped employees. Design and consulting company IDEO has coined the term T-shaped employee to describe its ideal candidates; people with skills that allow them to contribute to the creative process, that’s the vertical part of the T. And a perspective for collaboration, empathy, and curiosity is the horizontal part of the T. IDEO understands that empathy and curiosity are related, as empathy allows employees to see things from others’ perspective, while curiosity inspires interest in others. They recognize that when people perform at their best, it’s because their skills are accompanied by curiosity that leads them to ask questions, explore, and collaborate. Effective leaders look for ways to nurture their employees’ curiosity and encourage them to think globally, understanding perspectives, point of view, and disciplines beyond their own.

Thinking globally is an important step to create an innovative mindset. First, providing clear vision and purpose. Secondly, exploring and connecting the dots. And number three, hiring T-shaped employees. This way, you can create conditions that inspire others to think globally. How do you create space for yourself and others to not just think outside the box, but to think that there is no box?

My book, Saving Face: How to Preserve Dignity and Build Trust, illustrates how we can honor face to create positive first impressions, avoid causing others to lose face, and, most importantly, help others save face to build trust and lasting relationships inside and outside the workplace.

Click here to watch the video.

This video was originally posted on AthenaOnline.com

4 Keys to ‘Influencing Up’

Influencing up is a step above managing up, and it can have a big impact. Here are four ways to do it.

Most people know how important it is to manage up. It takes day-to-day effort to successfully navigate the working relationship with a direct boss. But influencing up can be just as important.

Influencing up involves directly influencing the decision-making of leaders one or more levels higher than your boss. It requires a sharp understanding of the needs and wants of high-level leadership, and the ability to bridge the gap between your technical expertise and their strategic priorities.

I have a client, Anna, who is particularly gifted at influencing up. Recently, she had the opportunity to argue the case for increasing the headcount of her department to complete a high-profile project. It was a particularly challenging task, as her company is in a strict hiring freeze.

Anna, her direct boss, and a peer prepared an information-packed presentation for a leader with decision-making power. Five minutes in, the leader interrupted Anna’s boss with a question unrelated to the current slide. Anna’s boss froze. Anna asked if she could reply–she wanted to be sensitive to her boss and not overstep his authority. Her boss enthusiastically gave her the floor. Anna answered the question succinctly and clearly. When Anna’s boss tried to steer the conversation back to the presentation, the executive interrupted again, asking to dig deeper into a topic area. Anna again successfully responded. Later, the executive challenged a point of data the team presented. Anna respectfully pushed back, providing a story that clarified the data. By the end of the presentation, the leader allowed the team to hire two additional people–double their original request.

When Anna and I discussed the event, she pinpointed the four ways she successfully influenced up:

1. Tell a story.
Anna has a strong technical background. Often, people with technical backgrounds are so passionate about their work that they get lost in the weeds with technical detail that overwhelms their audience. Instead, Anna used storytelling to connect the data to the big picture, including just enough detail to support the why. The executive didn’t need to hear every step of how Anna’s team came to their conclusions. He needed a summary that supported the team’s expert recommendation. Anna was able to pivot from the slides and provide that in the moment.

2. Be responsive.
Anna listened intently to the leader’s questions and answered exactly what was asked. If she didn’t understand something, she asked for clarification. Often, when people don’t understand a question (or don’t know the answer), they detour from the original question. They fear that asking for clarification or admitting they don’t know something would make them look unknowledgeable. Instead, this approach backfires. The question-asker is frustrated–not only is their question unanswered, they feel ignored, too.

When a question anticipated a topic that would come up later in the presentation, Anna didn’t ask the leader to wait–she answered on the spot. This validated the leader’s concerns and built trust.

3. Tailor your messaging.
I tell my clients that when influencing up, it helps to tailor messaging to the three essential things executive-level leaders care about:

How the company can make more money (grow market share, gain more customers, increase profit margins);How the company can save money (reduce waste, get more out of budgets, lower expenses);How the company can increase efficiency (save time, streamline, create better processes).

Every issue can bounce back to one or more of these areas. If you know which area connects most directly with a leader, your message can land with even more influence. For example, a CFO may care most about areas one and two, while a CTO may care about area three. Anna translated her team’s concerns to the area their leader cared most about, bridging the gap between his priorities and her team’s urgency.

4. Respond with solid evidence and emotional intelligence.
When the leader disagreed with the team, Anna pushed back respectfully. She remained emotionally neutral and used facts–not judgments or opinions–to argue the business case for her team’s request. Often, people fear that disagreeing will damage a relationship with a superior. But if done with respect and backed by facts, disagreement can be a crucial part of influencing up.

Influencing up can provide an opportunity for big-picture, strategic impact that can boost your career. Remember to use storytelling to support data, be responsive, prioritize leadership’s priorities, and not back away from respectful disagreement.

My book, Saving Face illustrates how we can honor face to create positive first impressions, avoid causing others to lose face, and, most importantly, help others save face to build trust and lasting relationships inside and outside the workplace.

Saving Face and Building Relationships

When you hear the words ‘saving face,’ what do you think of? You might imagine someone trying to recover after saying something embarrassing. Maybe they made a mistake in the workplace and need to repair their reputation. Face is a universal concept, beyond its origins in China. In most Asian cultures, the concept of face extends to something much deeper. It speaks to a deeper need for dignity and acceptance, and the ways we grant dignity to one another. Understanding this universal human concept can help us make the most of our business relationships.

So, what is face? Face represents one’s self-esteem, self-worth, identity, reputation, status, pride, and dignity. The concept of face is so entrenched in Chinese culture that multiple idioms are part of the everyday conversation. For example, Diūdiào liǎn translates to throw away the face; to be so ashamed or embarrassed, you feel like you have removed your face and tossed it away. To save face means to protect your face. You can also give face to someone by publicly praising or appreciating them. Conversely, when you tear apart the face, you publicly humiliate, scold, or chastise someone, causing so much harm that their face cannot heal.

Recently, I was working with a global technology company headquartered in the U.S. The client asked me to speak to five visiting Chinese engineers who came here from China for a week-long technical training. During the training, they sat quietly and never asked any questions. The company wanted to find out how the training was going for them so far. Now, over lunch in a cafeteria, the engineers said little in English. When I spoke to them in Mandarin, they immediately opened up. One complained that the American instructor gave them a 200-page technical manual as soon as they walked into the door, after 15 hours of flight. They had no time to review it, and it was written in English. Well, I ask them, how much of the training did you understand? About 20%, they replied reluctantly.

Unbeknownst to the Americans, the Chinese engineers were afraid to lose face. They needed to protect an appearance of confidence and credibility. They didn’t want to admit that they were lost and confused. To get U.S. and Chinese teams working together more smoothly, I recommended a few simple solutions. For the American instructor: speak slowly and clearly, and use diagrams and hands-on demonstrations while going over technical materials. Give the engineers time to process and come up with questions as a group, not individuals. In the end, the U.S. company extended the training one more week for the Chinese engineers. Both parties saved face, and the training was a success.

When we’re accustomed to face, we can begin to use it as social currency. It is possible to imagine how we build a supply of face with someone by continuously making deposits. We build trust, we express gratitude and appreciation, we encourage and support others, we help them succeed, we compliment them and recognize them for their contributions, in public and in private. Or, we can empathize, putting ourselves in their shoes to understand their challenges. We give them and their voice equal time and weight. When something goes wrong, we have their back. We help them recover, hold them accountable. They know you have their back. It’s tough love. When we need to make a withdrawal, we’re careful to not tear the face apart. We provide feedback in a way that saves face and preserves dignity. If we mistakenly cause them to lose face, the relationship can still be saved if there are enough deposits to cover the withdrawal.

The more face you have, the easier and faster you can get things done. Interpersonal relationships are crucial to business, whether you’re working one-on-one with a local colleague or negotiating business with overseas clients. Saving face enables us to connect with people, break down barriers, and build trust and authentic relationships.

In summary, here are three things to remember when applying the concept of face to build deep, authentic interpersonal relationships:

1. Face is like social currency. The more you have, the easier and faster you can get things done.

2. Build a supply of face by making deposits in the relationship, such as building trust, keeping your promise, expressing gratitude and appreciation, and showing empathy.

3. If you accidentally cause someone to lose face, the relationship can still be saved if there are enough deposits or trust to cover the withdrawal.

My book, Saving Face: How to Preserve Dignity and Build Trust, illustrates how we can honor face to create positive first impressions, avoid causing others to lose face, and, most importantly, help others save face to build trust and lasting relationships inside and outside the workplace.

Click here to watch the video.

This video was originally posted on AthenaOnline.com

5 Ways to Give Face to Build Relationships

There are three key concepts of face. Giving Face, losing face, and saving face. In this video, I talk about giving face.

Giving face is a cultural concept originated in China. It can and should be an integral part of building relationships and motivating your team whether you work locally or around the globe. You can give face to coworkers by giving positive recognition, showing appreciation, solicit someone’s input, and listen. Acknowledge their contribution. Show respect for hierarchy, age, and status. The act of giving face lifts people up, builds their confidence, and strengthens your relationship with them.

As an executive coach, I have a unique vantage point on what goes on inside companies and the brains of the people leading them. Working with clients one-on-one as they navigate major conflicts gives me a deep understanding of their motivation. Whether they’re in Singapore or Kansas, I’ve found that knowledge workers share certain characteristics.

As Daniel Pink pointed out in his book “Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us,” the traditional workplace carrots of pay and promotion only go so far. Creativity and genuine appreciation go a long way when it comes to motivating knowledge workers. Studies have shown that among knowledge workers the main reasons people leave jobs are lack of recognition, lack of involvement, and poor management. Money is rarely the issue. Giving face has worked wonders for many leaders. For example. Number one, get creative about public recognition.

1. Get creative about public recognition. Years ago I worked with a senior leader at a California company who wanted to motivate his management team but didn’t have the budget to hand out raises. He noticed that people who came into his office always commented on a jar of rocks on his desk which he had picked up running on a nearby beach. One day he had an idea of giving them as gifts. When a member of his team did a great job on something, he would write a thank-you note, and include one of the beach rocks from his collection. These unique and highly personal tokens began to take on an almost mythic status among his employees. If you got one of his rocks you had really done something special.

2. Allow flexible working hours. When I walked into the office of Alibaba Group, the Chinese online retailer, I was struck by the colorful camping tents set up between desks. And I learned that during busy periods workers sleep in them. At many American tech companies, it’s not uncommon to hear of employees leaving the office at 8:00 in the morning after working all night. Given the demands of corporate life in the competitive environment, give employees the opportunity to choose their hours as long as they get their work done.

3. Ask them to mentor, coach or teach. Asking someone to mentor a new hire is a signal that he or she is a valued company ambassador capable of conveying the company’s cultural and core values. Asking one employee to coach another has to be done sensitively. It won’t work so well if they’re competitors, for example. But done right, it can prove as inspiring to the coach as the person getting coached. At one company I worked with, a leader created lunchtime learning sessions. Employees with a particular expertise would teach a workshop to his or her peers. Those votes of confidence go a long way towards retaining smart, dedicated employees.

4. Add challenge and visibility. For highly skilled workers, being asked to do something more challenging is a special distinction. If you see an employee lagging, try upping the game with a harder task or a presentation in front of upper management to give them more exposure.

5. Offer face time with a senior leader. Many workers wonder if the senior leadership notices their efforts, or whether they’re simply gears in a corporate machine. A breakfast or coffee with the CEO or a senior executive can reassure workers that their contributions are valued and recognized at the highest level.

Remember, there’s five ways to give face. Number one, get creative about public recognition. Number two, allow flexible working hours. Number three, ask them to mentor, coach, or teach. Number four, add challenge and visibility. Number five, offer face time with a senior leader.

My book, Saving Face illustrates how we can honor face to create positive first impressions, avoid causing others to lose face, and, most importantly, help others save face to build trust and lasting relationships inside and outside the workplace.

Click here to watch the video.

This video was originally posted on AthenaOnline.com

What an Old Chinese Story Can Teach You About Resilience

For entrepreneurs, the highs are high and the lows are low. Here’s how to thrive through it all.

Recently, a group of colleagues and I discussed the familiar ups and downs of entrepreneurial life. When work is plentiful and things are going well, we’re too happily distracted to think about what may come next, which is often a slow period, and all the unease and anxiety that comes with it.

The conversation brought to mind a Chinese parable.

A farmer used an old horse in his fields. One day, the horse escaped into the hills. When his neighbors sympathized with the farmer over his bad luck, he replied, “Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?” A week later, the horse returned — along with a herd of wild horses. What good luck, the neighbors said. “Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows,” the farmer replied. Later, as the farmer’s son attempted to tame one of the wild horses, he fell and broke his leg. What bad luck, the neighbors said. “Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows,” the farmer replied. Some weeks later, the army marched into their village. They drafted every able-bodied young person. The farmer’s son, with his broken leg, was not one of them. Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?

The farmer’s mindset embodies the Buddhist teaching of impermanence: “This shall pass.” When dealing with the ups and downs of life, it’s a mindset that fosters resilience and hope.

Leaders and entrepreneurs can benefit from mindsets similar to that of the old farmer. This mindset helps us weather “lucky” and “unlucky” times alike. Here are some other strategies that can help us navigate the ups and downs of entrepreneurial life.

Adopt a growth mindset
In her book Mindset, researcher Carol Dweck posits that our mindsets can shape whether we believe we are capable of learning and growth, and how we respond to challenges. Those with fixed mindsets think their talents and abilities are set in stone and incapable of evolving. Those with growth mindsets believe continuous improvement and development are not only possible, but the likely result of hard work and effort.

Adopting a growth mindset can help leaders through slow periods of work. People with fixed mindsets may think the slow periods are permanent, an immovable challenge and an indictment of their skills and worth. A growth mindset helps us frame those slow periods as temporary — and keeps us open to opportunities.

Evolve your work identity
A few years ago, many of us in the cross-cultural training space experienced a downturn in business. It wasn’t only my open calendar that caused me to panic — I questioned my work identity. If I wasn’t doing the work I’d built my identity around, then who was I?

I realized that I was using a fixed mindset to define my identity. By tapping into a growth mindset, I allowed myself to explore. What had I always wanted to do, if I’d just had the time? I had wanted to write a new book and publish more regularly. Instead of spending those slow months fretting over my new, temporary reality, I spent it expanding my skill set and work identity to include “author.”

Always make time to reflect
As an entrepreneur, busy times can feel invigorating and energizing. Slow periods can grant us the time and space to reflect on who we are, what we want, and what’s important. But it’s just as crucial to do the same during busy periods. If we don’t, we risk becoming overly attached to our successes, losing touch with our real wants, values, and priorities.

Reflection also allows us time to check in with our whole identities — not just our work identities. As entrepreneurs, our work identity often becomes the entirety of our personal identity. A slow period can cause an identity crisis. During the highs and lows, take time to reflect on other ways you can evolve your whole identity. Who are you outside of your work? What are other things you are passionate about?

During our discussion, my colleagues and I identified another piece of the entrepreneurial-resilience puzzle: each other. We’ve created a community of mutual support. We help one another embrace a growth mindset, reflect on what really matters, and remember that “bad luck” and “good luck” alike are temporary.

3 Ways to Rebuild Face and Respect

There’s an old Chinese proverb, “Spilled water is hard to regain.” Think about it. You accidentally knock a glass of water off the table and it spills all over the floor. If you wanted to get all that water back into the glass, how would you do it? Nearly impossible, right? And even if you managed to get all the spilled water back into the glass, would you still want to drink it? Yuck, me either. The point is, that the yuck factor is the same when we’re talking about the concept of face.

So what is face? Face represents a person’s self-esteem, self-worth, identity, reputation, status, pride, and dignity. When you experience conflicts, problems with relationships, resistance, poor performance or lack of motivation, it usually has something to do with face. When you hear someone says, “It’s not about the money,” the real issue is often about face.

Now, you can cause someone to lose face by giving negative feedback in public, challenging or disagreeing with someone, failing to acknowledge proper hierarchy, ignoring or interrupting someone, making insensitive jokes, et cetera. Sometimes you can never regain face once it’s lost. But in most cases, face can be restored.

A few years ago, I coached an executive named John. John was having difficulties with his colleagues. His feedback showed that as the global chief procurement officer, he was skillful with his negotiation skills with vendors and he was able to save the company millions of dollars. However, his colleagues found him difficult to work with. They said that John would dismiss their ideas or answer their request with a simple no, with no explanations, which made them feel disrespected and a loss of face. He came off as negative and arrogant. At first, John resisted the feedback, arguing that he knew the job so well it was a waste of time to explain himself to his colleagues. In his mind, it was his job to cut off bad ideas quickly, no explanation needed. “Wait a minute,” I ask, “are your co-workers your enemies?” “Well, they’re annoying,” was his answer.

Over time, the collaboration between his team and other teams got worse. It negatively impacted the business. John realized he needs to repair the relationship. During our coaching session, John shared that he was a big fan of kung fu novels. He saw a correlation between his work and how ancient warriors dealt with their own challenges. Perhaps subconsciously, he treated his peers like they were enemies, instead of partners. Now once I understood John’s outlook on his work, I incorporated his interests in a way that he could turn things around.

1. Face the feedback. “To know oneself is to study oneself in action with another person,” said Bruce Lee. So I told John that it takes courage to accept the feedback, and that he would be better off in the end. He began to see the damage he had done by treating the co-workers as opponents and causing them to lose face. Expanding the kung fu novel analogy, he realized that his ruthless efficiency was actually creating more enemies. He didn’t need to change his work ethics and loyalty to the company, but he needs to change his mindset and communication style.

2. Own your mistakes. Bruce Lee said, “Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.” John met with his co-workers. He thanked them for their honesty and told them he had a plan to improve. “From now on, I won’t say no immediately,” he promised. “We’re partners on the same team. I’m going to listen, ask questions, and work together to come up with win-win solutions.”

3. Pick a new habit and practice it constantly. “To hell with circumstances, I create opportunities,” said Bruce Lee. Changing behavior requires daily practice. John keeps his goal in mind in every interaction, so that the new habit will take root. He faced a big test when a manager asked him to do something he felt was unreasonable. Instead of immediately saying no, he took a breath. “Let me explain why it can’t be done,” he said, and then offered an alternative solution. He made a point to smile and even cracked a joke. His co-workers were surprised and pleased, and happy to accept his alternate plan. Over time, people began to notice him becoming more respectful and collaborative. To his surprise, his new attitude spread to his team as well.

In summary, here are three tips to preserve face and dignity and cultivate positive relationships:

1. Have the courage and humility to accept your shortcomings.
2. Have the emotional intelligence to save face for everyone involved.
3. Have the discipline to work towards positive change.

My book, Saving Face illustrates how we can honor face to create positive first impressions, avoid causing others to lose face, and, most importantly, help others save face to build trust and lasting relationships inside and outside the workplace.

Click here to watch the video.

This video was originally posted on AthenaOnline.com

3 Ways to Lead With an Innovative Mindset

Successful companies know that in order to grow they must consistently innovate. And to truly innovate, leaders must lead with an innovative mindset. An innovative mindset allows leaders and workers alike to take small steps to create big impact. One of the most important aspects of innovation is building a learning culture. What is a learning culture? Let’s take a look at a company that truly embraces it, Chinese multinational ecommerce and tech company, Alibaba.

Founded in 1999 by just 18 people, Alibaba is led by Jack Ma. Jack Ma is a former English teacher. The company grabbed global attention in 2014 when it’s IPO became the largest ever. Today, Alibaba is worth more than Walmart. And more than 150 million people shop on TaoBao, it’s online shopping site, every day.

Recently I was coaching a senior executive at Alibaba. I asked her for a list of stakeholders to contact for feedback interviews on her behalf. When I received the list, I was both puzzled and intrigued. There were no actual names on the list. Each was a nickname, like Wise Monk or Flying Tiger. She explained that each new hire at Alibaba is asked to choose a nickname from Chinese Kung Fu novels. That name is then used in all company communications, email, documents, performance reviews. Even founder Jack Ma goes by Feng Qingyang. It’s an old swordsmen. Well, but why? I was intrigued and curious. She told me the company does this to inspire and reinforce a warrior mindset in each employee. Be humble, don’t be complacent, keep fighting.

At Alibaba, everyone is a student. They refer to each other as classmates and call Jack Ma their teacher. The corporate campus feels like exactly like that. It’s like a college campus. Alibaba embodies a learning culture, the first step to leading with an innovative mindset. There are three ways to creating a learning culture.

1. Encourage bottom-up innovation. Not long ago Alibaba set out to create a rival to WeChat, a chatting app with one billion monthly users. After much investment in talent and time, Alibaba’s rival chatting app launched and failed. But some of the staff that worked on that project could not just walk away. They needed to know why it failed. With Alibaba’s leadership providing its blessing and support, this team kept working. They eventually launched Ding Talk, an enterprise platform that enables transparent communication and collaboration. It is especially popular among virtual teams. Today it has over one 100 million users. This is a good example of bottom-up innovation. Letting ideas and inspiration flow from not just the top of the company, but from all directions.

2. Model curiosity. Curiosity leads to innovation, but curiosity can only flourish when it is encouraged and modeled by leaders. When a leader demonstrates curiosity by asking questions and seeking information, they’re viewed as more competent. They inspire trust and build stronger relationships. They promote meaningful connections and creativity. They tell their team, “You don’t have to pretend to know everything.”

Toyota models curiosity with its Five Why’s approach. This is how it works. When confronted with a challenge employees are encouraged to ask why. Once they’ve received an answer they’re asked to investigate further by asking why once more. And again, and again, until it’s asked five times. This practice helps employees innovate by encouraging them to challenge existing perspectives.

3. Celebrate innovation. Encouraging innovation means celebrating it in all forms. Tech company Agilent Technologies makes this a key element of their business strategy. Every 18 months, Agilent runs a company-wide competition called Agilent innovates. Employees and teams across the company are encouraged to enter the contest with an innovation, whether it’s for new products or solutions or a process improvement. The innovations are judged on originality and business impact with the final round judged by CEO staff. The contest is embraced with enthusiasm from C-suite down. A program like Agilent Innovates unites the company in excitement and enthusiasm for innovation. It sends the message that everyone’s contributions are valued. And it contributes to a learning culture because it celebrates the outcome of curiosity and learning called innovation.

Leaders can build a learning culture by encouraging bottom-up innovation, modeling curiosity and celebrating innovation.

My book, Saving Face illustrates how we can honor face to create positive first impressions, avoid causing others to lose face, and, most importantly, help others save face to build trust and lasting relationships inside and outside the workplace.

Click here to watch the video.

This video was originally posted on AthenaOnline.com