Maya Hu-Chan's Blog, page 8

6 Winning Public Speaking Tips For Non-Native English Speakers

Public speaking can be nerve-wracking for everyone, but often more so for non-native English speakers. These strategies can help boost your confidence and success.

Many of the leaders I coach have similar experiences with public speaking. They rise up through the ranks in their careers, making their way to senior leadership positions that require speaking in a multitude of settings, from board meetings and conferences to acting as a public face for their companies.

These situations could make anyone apprehensive, but they are particularly challenging for speakers tasked with addressing audiences in a language that is not their native one.

As a non-native English speaker myself, I frequently face these challenges. But, I have found several practices that help me thrive in front of audiences of all kinds.

Here are some tips that can help native and non-native English speakers alike boost their confidence and success as a public speaker.

1. Don’t worry about perfect grammar
Non-native English speakers often worry most about their grammar — is this the right tense? Am I pronouncing the word correctly? They focus so much on grammar that they miss what’s really important: getting their points across effectively. Don’t worry about passing as a native English speaker. You don’t have to be free of an accent or use perfect grammar to connect to an audience. Focus instead on delivery and the clarity of your key messages.

2. Slow down
When people are anxious about public speaking, they tend to speak quickly, wanting to get through a speech as fast as possible. This can result in speech that’s difficult to understand and a one-note pace that can cause an audience to disconnect. Instead, try slowing down. This doesn’t mean slowly enunciating every word; it means emphasizing keywords as a way to vary the pace of your speech and the fluctuations of your voice. This variety helps keep an audience interested and engaged.

3. Replace filler words with silence
Filler words are the words we use to fill the space while we’re searching for the next word or phrase to say. I didn’t realize my filler word was “OK” until I watched a recording of myself delivering a speech. Why did I sound like I was saying “OK” 500 times? Try replacing filler words with silence. It will feel awkward at first – in American culture, especially, we feel that silence is uncomfortable. But, from an audience’s perspective, that brief pause catches our attention. It invites us to listen for the words outside of the silence.

4. Smile and make eye contact
When we smile, we send a signal to our brain that we are feeling content and relaxed. Our brains, in turn, tell our bodies to feel the same. Smiling also projects confidence. When audience members smile back, we get in-the-moment positive feedback that boosts confidence, too. Eye contact works in similar ways. When you’re speaking, try holding eye contact with individual audience members for 10 to 15 seconds at a time. Avoid scanning the entire audience – this can make you feel dizzy.

Eye contact is important in virtual settings, too. Try looking at people as you speak. Even if you’re not exactly making eye contact, you’ll still get that feeling of connection. If you can’t see your audience, push yourself to look directly into the camera while speaking. I put a small sticker underneath my camera to remind myself to do this. Otherwise, my eyes might drift to my notes, disconnecting me from my audience.

5. Use talking points instead of a script
People often write out their speeches and read them, delivering them word for word. To an audience, this can feel rigid and unnatural. Instead, try organizing your speech into key talking points that guide you from one moment to the next. Talking points help your speech sound more natural and conversational, which is much more engaging to an audience.

6. Practice, practice, practice
Many of my colleagues, some of whom are non-native English speakers, make public speaking look so easy. But, they achieve that ease and comfort through hours of practice. After you have solidified your talking points, practice your speech — in front of others, in front of a mirror, and record yourself, too. Then, on the day of your speech, don’t practice. Trust that you’ve prepared as best you can and step onto the stage with a smile, eye contact, and the confidence that you can relax into the moment and engage your audience, no matter your native language.

This article was originally posted on Inc.com

What Receiving Negative Feedback Taught Me About Giving It

It can be just as difficult to give critical feedback as it is to receive it. Here’s how to navigate that challenge.

I recently surveyed 300 human resources professionals about their most challenging conversations. Forty percent said giving critical feedback is the most challenging conversation they face, which didn’t surprise me — giving critical feedback is just as difficult as receiving it.

I experienced this firsthand recently. While delivering a workshop for a global technology company, I asked for reflections after an exercise. One of the participants, a manager from Korea, raised his hand. Because he was not communicating in his native language, he spoke slowly and deliberately. When he stopped, I thanked him for his contribution and moved on to the next exercise.

During a break, the program coordinator approached me. “Mr. Kim is very upset with you,” she said, nervously. “He is packing his things and leaving the session.” I was shocked. What had I done to upset him? “Do you remember when you asked him to share his thoughts? When he paused, you cut him off. He wasn’t done speaking.”

I took a deep breath and considered my response. I walked into the classroom and, sure enough, found Mr. Kim packing his bag.

“Mr. Kim, I was informed you are upset with me and I want to understand why,” I said.

He looked up from his bag. “You were teaching communication and leadership. How can you be so rude and cut me off! That was disrespectful. I don’t want to waste my time in your class!”

I apologized, explaining it was not my intention to cut him off, and agreeing that I was rude and disrespectful. “If I had known you had more to share, I would have loved to have heard the rest of your comments. Will you give me another chance and stay in my class?”

He instantly relaxed. “OK,” he said. “I will not leave.”

The remainder of the workshop went smoothly. Mr. Kim was an active participant — and I always let him finish speaking.

Receiving or giving feedback can be fraught with intense, negative emotions. But it’s how we navigate through those emotions — and how we craft our communication — that make the biggest impact.

Here’s how we can successfully navigate these challenging conversations.

Set ego aside

As leaders, we must embrace vulnerability, set our egos aside, and admit our failings when necessary. I could have reacted defensively with Mr. Kim, insisting I hadn’t intentionally cut him off, but that would have centered on my emotions, not his. Instead, I listened carefully for facts, feelings, and values, the things that would help me understand his perspective. If we approach tough conversations with openness and humility, it’s much easier to be open to positive solutions.

Use straight talk

Michael Schaerer and Roderick Swaab write in the Harvard Business Review of the tendency for managers to sugarcoat critical feedback because they fear retaliation, want to spare the feelings of their direct reports, or are experiencing a cognitive bias called the illusion of transparency. This is the human tendency to focus so much on our own feelings and intentions that we overestimate the clarity of our communication, resulting in vague messages that don’t accurately convey what we mean. To avoid falling into this cognitive trap, use straight talk, which means communicating with clarity, accuracy, and respect. Support your feedback with data and facts. Avoid phrases that can obscure your meaning, such as “it’s a real possibility” or “I will try my best,” which can confuse or give false hope. When tempted to sugarcoat, aim for specificity instead, remembering Brené Brown’s thoughts on the subject: “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.”

Focus on the future with feedforward

Feedback focuses on the past. Feedforward reframes the conversation to solutions for the future. As the feedback receiver in my interaction with Mr. Kim, I accepted his feedback and apologized for my misstep, allowing him to feel heard and understood. Then, I changed the tone to the future, asking for his input on a solution moving forward. As a feedback giver, you can do the same. Acknowledge the past with feedback, but introduce feedforward as a way to focus on proactive possibilities. This helps reframe the conversation from challenging and difficult to hopeful, productive, and positive.

When I think back to my experience with Mr. Kim, I am grateful he didn’t keep his feelings to himself. His feedback may have been difficult for me to hear, but it allowed me to fix my misstep and create a better experience for us both. When we set our egos aside, embrace vulnerability, admit mistakes, use straight talk, and focus on feedforward, we can use critical feedback for the gift that it is.

This article was originally posted on Inc.com

The 4 Must-Have People for a Solid Support System

A support system can help you achieve your career goals. Here’s how to build one.

Leaders who reach the pinnacle of their professional goals don’t do it alone. Behind every success story is a solid support network.

Everyday support comes from partners, friends, and family, but a support network is much more. It’s made up of people who, in their unique, individual ways, can help us to thrive, grow, and achieve our professional goals.

Kathryn Heath, founding partner of Flynn Heath Holt Leadership, posits that a solid support network consists of people who fulfill four distinct roles: mentors, advocates, sponsors, and truth-tellers. You can rely on your support network to help you do everything, from navigating office politics to charting a successful career path to giving day-to-day feedback. The people in your support network do not have to work in your company or even in the same industry, but it helps if most of them do.

Here is how each unique support network role is defined. Take stock of who is in your system now and figure out which roles are missing. Or get inspired to build your support system from scratch.

1. Mentors

A mentor is someone in your company who, through their greater years of experience, can offer advice and guidance, and share their experiences and best practices. The mentor relationship is typically one-way, although being a mentor can be greatly fulfilling.

A mentoring relationship can be a two-way street when it is a reverse-mentoring relationship. In reverse mentoring, a junior team member exchanges skills, knowledge, and understanding with someone more senior. This kind of mentoring offers many benefits and can create a lasting impact within an organization. It increases the retention of millennial and Gen Z workers, empowers new hires to speak up, promotes diversity, and improves new workers’ critical business skills.

2. Advocates

People should have several advocates in their support network. These are the people who enjoy working with you and can speak on your behalf, advocating for your skills and talents. Advocates don’t have to necessarily be in senior positions–they can be peers, direct reports, or senior leaders.

Photo by Magda Ehlers from Pexels

3. Truth-Tellers

Truth-tellers offer a sounding board for honest feedback. They typically enjoy a close, trust-based relationship with you and want to see you succeed. It’s because of those dynamics that they are unafraid to provide constructive criticism when you need it. Truth-tellers can be peers, friends, or even family members.

4. Sponsors

Sponsors are the members of your support team with the most influence. They are typically in senior leadership and have the power and seniority to make things happen. A great sponsor is an influential ally who believes in you and is enthusiastic about publicly endorsing your talents, helping propel your career forward.

When I coach leaders, I often have them take inventory of who makes up their current support system. Do they have someone who fulfills each role? Typically, people can easily name their mentor, and maybe two or three advocates. Truth-tellers and sponsors are much more difficult to identify. Some leaders realize they don’t have people in their lives they can look to for honest feedback or people in their company who are their enthusiastic sponsors.

If you are taking inventory of your own network and realize you don’t have a sponsor, consider “promoting” a mentor to a sponsor. The sponsorship relationship is more collaborative than the mentorship one, with sponsors having more day-to-day exposure to your talents and abilities. A sponsorship relationship can also be reciprocal–while a sponsor is invested in your future and can help develop your career, they also learn from your unique skills and experiences, areas they may be missing.

We don’t have to navigate the challenges of building a career alone. With the help of our mentors, advocates, truth-tellers, and sponsors, we can give one another the support we need to reach all of our goals.

This article was originally posted on Inc.com

How to Take Your Virtual Presenting to the Next Level

Virtual conferences and meetings are here to stay. These best practices will help you engage audiences burned out on video calls.

The pandemic has forced us to redefine how we work, gather, and communicate.

As a speaker, I’ve taken on the new skill set of connecting with audiences entirely over video conferencing. And I’m not alone: Leaders throughout the world have had to adapt to this new way of communicating ideas and inspiring people.

Recently, I delivered a talk for a conference in Shanghai. The audience was hybrid–about 150 people gathered for the conference room in person, while hundreds more dialed in from around the world. It made me realize the gift that this new pivot has given us: When I spoke at this conference two years ago, I was able to reach only the people gathered in the conference room. Now I can reach thousands.

Using this gift effectively requires some adjustments and skills that might be new to us. Here are some of the best practices I’ve discovered for effective public speaking via video.

Get creative

Speaking in front of a computer is different from speaking in front of a live audience. You lose out on the immediate feedback you get from a room full of people–the body language, smiles, applause, and silences that tell us whether an audience is connecting to our message. And “video call fatigue” is real and pervasive.

But confronting these challenges can bring unique opportunities for connection if you’re open to being creative. A colleague of mine surprises his audiences with laughter sound effects timed for delivery exactly after he says anything humorous. I’ve learned to rely more on dynamic storytelling and less on PowerPoint slides. And although in-person feedback is missing, there are other, rich avenues for engagement, such as the chat, participant reactions, breakout room, and polls, all of which allow one to engage with a live audience. These options are also more inclusive of people who are introverted, neurodivergent or are native speakers of different languages.

Engage, Engage, Engage

Grabbing and maintaining the attention of an audience burned out by video calls requires more than just a monologue and PowerPoint slides. The key is to fight through the Zoom fatigue and engage your audience from the start. Break up your presentation with questions, invitations to speak, write, vote, interact with one another, or even draw. Use the functions of your platform creatively to keep your audience on its toes, connected, and engaged.

And about those slides–cut them in half. A common mistake for speakers is an over-reliance on PowerPoint, which can distract your audience and dilute your message. Retool your presentation so your audience is focusing on you and your message, not your slides.

Rehearse and have a plan B

When it comes to virtual speeches, 90 percent of your work is done before the presentation even starts.

For my Shanghai speech, I met with the conference tech team in advance. We focused on tech: I rehearsed my speech, making sure all the moving parts flowed seamlessly with their selected platform. I tried out several microphone options, the team assessing which sounded best on their end. I also connected with a co-facilitator on the ground who worked with the live audience. We aligned the timeline and defined the expectations of their role as co-facilitator.

The tech team and I also devised a plan B: I sent them my slides, so in the case of a lost connection, they could run the slides while I spoke via telephone. They also encouraged me to have a backup computer plugged in and ready to go, should my main computer freeze or lose power.

On the day of the event, the tech team and co-facilitator and I communicated via text and private message throughout the presentation, making adjustments on the fly as needed, passing the baton back and forth seamlessly.

Rehearse, iron out tech details, have a plan B, and communicate with your team. The preparation will pay off–and will help you feel more confident about your performance.

Like many of the adjustments we’ve made in the last year, virtual meetings and presentations are here to stay. Get creative, engage your audience, prepare, and rehearse, and you’ll thrive as a speaker in this new world.

This article was originally posted on Inc.com

Managing in a Multicultural World

In this LinkedIn LIVE interview replay with Nancy Parsons, CEO/President at CDR Companies, LLC, we discuss my latest book Saving Face: How to Preserve Dignity and Build Trust and how we can integrate the principles of “face” with cross-cultural management, leadership and diversity in the workforce.

How to Preserve Human Dignity-An Interview

I was recently interviewed by Brian Brogen CGC/PMP a John Maxwell Certified Coach, Teacher and Speaker
In this episode, we learned the importance of saving face which is the title of my latest book, Saving Face: How to Preserve Dignity and Build Trust. In the interview, I shared how you can preserve human dignity by breaking down barriers and building trust. I have experience in training organizations for working across different cultures for successful outcomes. Please enjoy this episode and share it with your friends and family.

What Your Asian American and Pacific Islander Colleagues Need You to Stop Believing

There are many unfair and untrue myths about the AAPI community that could be impacting your ability to connect to your AAPI workers and customers. Here’s how to move beyond them.

A recent Pew research study found that Asian Americans recorded the fastest rate of population growth among all ethnic and racial groups in the U.S. between 2000 and 2019, growing 81 percent during that time. By 2060, the community is projected to triple its 2000 population size.

These statistics should catch the attention of any entrepreneur and business leader. Leaders should strive to fully understand the Asian American and Pacific Islander (AAPI) community if they hope to enjoy the full benefits of diversity in the workplace — and authentically connect with a growing customer case.

I’ve recently conducted several listening sessions with AAPI professionals across multiple industries. These sessions create spaces for people to reflect with one another on common challenges, obstacles and hopes. A theme that has emerged across these sessions is the pervasiveness of common myths about the AAPI community.

Here are some of those myths, and how to go beyond them.

Myth: The AAPI community is a monolith.
There’s a common and inaccurate perception that AAPI people are all alike, when, in fact, the community is a diverse grouping of people from approximately 50 ethnic groups. Each group has its own unique languages, cultural traditions, and experiences. They also face harm in different ways. In the U.S., for example, East Asians have been the target of hate crimes and discrimination in the Covid pandemic era, while South Asians were targeted following September 11.

In the workplace, AAPI professionals are often burdened with the expectation to represent not only their particular ethnic group but the AAPI community as a whole. This disconnect is often reflected in the one-dimensional ways companies talk to their AAPI customers.

Take the time to learn about the diversity of AAPI experiences. Appreciate and celebrate the variety of cultures represented in the community. This will allow you to more authentically connect to your AAPI worker and customer base.

Myth: Asian Americans are the ‘model minority’ and don’t face any challenges.
The “model minority” myth is considered a microaggression — an action, rooted in bias, that lands with harm on someone with a marginalized identity. The myth is that Asian Americans are uniformly prosperous and don’t experience the challenges of other marginalized groups. Not only is this inaccurate (AAPI people, in fact, face the largest income inequality gap of all ethnic groups in the U.S.), it pits the AAPI community against other racial minority groups as a means of dividing communities of color. It also negates the discrimination, bias, and harm that AAPI people do experience, and that denial inhibits progress against those injustices.

Expand your awareness and education of the AAPI experience. It will help mitigate against this bias — and keep it from showing up as a microaggression.

Myth: AAPI people don’t make good leaders
The Western definition of a strong leader — someone who’s outspoken, charismatic, and speaks perfect English — is a one-size-fits-all, outdated concept. And it often pushes out AAPI professionals who would make excellent leaders, but don’t fit this mold.

Truly effective leaders do often share similar traits, and research is showing that these include high emotional intelligence, clear communication (not perfect English), and the ability to authentically connect with people.

When looking for people in your company to promote or bring into leadership roles, make sure to check yourself for potential biases that could be impacting your search. Acknowledge that the Western “good leader” stereotype is limiting, and expand your frame of who a strong leader could be.

Another theme surfaced across the multiple AAPI listening sessions I’ve conducted: Hope. Younger generations, in particular, spoke of not only an emerging kindness across cultures, but of increased awareness, advocacy, and action. By dispelling these common myths about the AAPI community, you can contribute to this hope, too.

This article was originally posted on Inc.com

Podcast Interview with Wanda Wallace from Out of Your Comfort Zone

Saving Face with Maya Hu-Chan
August 6, 2021
Hosted by Wanda Wallace

Episode Description
Wherever you work, you probably interact and collaborate with people from a range of cultures. What do you need to do to ensure that you are being culturally aware and helping people “save face”?

Click here to listen and learn what this concept really means, what it doesn’t mean, and what you can do to be a great colleague, the fabulous leader in all cultures.

The post Podcast Interview with Wanda Wallace from Out of Your Comfort Zone appeared first on Maya Hu-Chan.

Changemaker Spotlight Interview hosted by Gregg Ward

Gregg Ward, Executive Director of the Center for Respectful Leadership, interviews CRL Advisory Council member and best-selling author, speaker, and coach Maya Hu-Chan about her new book “Saving Face: how to preserve dignity and build trust.”

Changemaker Spotlight Interview with Maya Hu-Chan from Gregg Ward on Vimeo.

The post Changemaker Spotlight Interview hosted by Gregg Ward appeared first on Maya Hu-Chan.

Sympathy Versus Empathy and Why You Should Know the Difference

Leaders can create trust and connection by expressing empathy. Sympathy does the opposite. Here’s how to tell the difference.

When one of my clients experienced discrimination in the workplace, she confided in a colleague. She had hoped to feel understood, validated, and supported. Instead, her colleague’s response made her feel dismissed and belittled.

She was a high performer at her company, but she had recently been denied a leadership position. “You’re Asian,” her boss had said. “You’re too deferential. You cannot lead.”

She recounted the conversation to a co-worker. The co-worker replied by insisting discrimination couldn’t possibly be the reason she was denied a promotion. “It can’t be. It must be something else,” they said.

Her colleague may have been trying to shield her from the pain of something as harmful as discrimination by dismissing that it could have happened. But her intent did not match the impact of her statements. She didn’t react with empathy, she reacted with sympathy — a reaction that expresses pity, but can lead to further isolation and disconnection instead of connection and support.

People excel in environments of psychological safety, in which they feel heard, understood, and without the worry of self-protection, instead focusing their energies on thriving in their work.

Leaders can help create these environments by expressing empathy — not sympathy — in vulnerable moments. Here are some tips to help you do that.

Be comfortable with vulnerability.

The past year has shown us that no one is immune from turbulent times, and leaving hardships “at the door” when we go to work is neither simple nor healthy — especially when the door to the office is the door to our homes. When leaders are the first to show vulnerability, they give others permission to do the same. Some people often think being vulnerable is “too soft” or a sign of weakness, but it is, in fact, a display of courage and strength. If leaders show that they can work through hardship without denying it or brushing it off, then everyone else feels empowered to do the same.

Remember the 4E model.

In Inclusive Conversations, Mary-Frances Winters writes that empathy is the final stage of a four-step process that begins with gaining exposure across differences, continues with having meaningful experiences with those who are different, and requires engaging in ongoing education. This 4E model — exposure, experience, engagement, empathy — allows us to more genuinely understand what someone might be feeling, even if we don’t share the same lived experiences.

Choose words carefully

Empathy can create a connection, while sympathy can create an uneven power dynamic. Words reinforce this dynamic. Empathy expert Brené Brown points out that while the intent behind sympathetic comments such as “It could be worse” or “Look on the bright side” might be to comfort or to help someone embrace optimism, these statements undermine feelings and invalidate experiences.

Instead, choose language that communicates empathy. Acknowledge the situation with statements such as “I’m sorry you’re going through this,” or “I can see why this is hard.” Share how you feel — even if you don’t know what to say. A statement like “I can’t imagine what this feels like” shows you care. Express gratitude by thanking the person for sharing with you. Finally, show authentic support. Simply asking, “What do you need right now?” can go a long way.

Empathy is often described as “putting yourself in someone else’s shoes.” To do that, though, means having the vulnerability to take your own shoes off first. Engage with people different from yourself. Make learning about others’ experiences a lifelong journey. Choose your words carefully, making sure you acknowledge the situation, share how you feel, express gratitude, and show support. And be willing to accept vulnerability as a personal strength that can strengthen others, too.

This article was originally posted on Inc.com

The post Sympathy Versus Empathy and Why You Should Know the Difference appeared first on Maya Hu-Chan.