Nancy Wilson's Blog, page 28

February 19: The Blues

Sometimes, for instance after a holiday or celebration of some kind, we may suffer the “blues” for no apparent reason. We start to feel a little wobbly around the edges, maybe feeling useless or discontent or under-appreciated or lonely or overworked. Maybe it has been a little too gray outside for a little too long. Whatever the reason, we may start to droop. But we can’t let the blues succeed in getting us down. Overcoming the blues requires some exertion on our part because if we do nothing, the blues will follow us around. We can either feed the feeling, by enjoying it and indulging it (along with a little self-pity as well), or we can starve it by changing the subject. Scripture backs up the latter.

Philippians 4:8 gives us some subjects to mediate on: anything that is noble, just, pure, lovely, good, virtuous, or praiseworthy. What sorts of things fall in this category? God Himself is a good subject for our meditations. What is He like? What has He done? What has He promised? Then consider all your blessings from His hand. Itemize the good things God has done for you. Before you were born, He brought you into being. That’s a good place to begin.

When we change the subject, the blues will eventually give up and disappear. But even if they stick around for a while, ignore them. Don’t give them power over you. You belong to Jesus. And even if the gray clouds are hanging low, there is still a bright blue sky behind them. Meditate on that.

Children need to learn this early on. Show them how to be cheerful when they have long faces. Teach them to count their blessings. Do something productive inside if it’s too cold to go outside. Play some cheerful music and bake some cookies. Some of our spiritual troubles are just creature troubles.  And if we get the hang of dealing with the blues, we will be ready for action when we have real troubles.

 

February 18: Tasty Morsels

” Where there is no wood, the fire goes out; and where there is no talebearer, strife ceases” (Prov. 26:20).

“The words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles, and they go down into the inmost body” (Prov. 18:8).

A talebearer is a vehicle for gossip, chatter, idle talk, hearsay, and rumors. I picture a parade float with the very self-important queen seated on a throne tossing candy to the crowd as they slowly go by. In much the same way, a talebearer is tossing all kinds of tasty little morsels to one and all. “Did you hear….?” Another name for a talebearer is a blabbermouth. Not a nice description.

Gossip usually has some truth in it, but it is usually mixed with a large helping of untruth. Then it is passed around from one blabbermouth to another. Tattling is another word for gossiping. A tattler is tossing out secrets, usually trying to get people in trouble by “telling on them.” But it is usually only half the story that they tell.

When our children were in a squabble, my husband would speak to them one at a time: “Tell me what you did.” More often than not the child would respond, “He…” or “She…” That’s the half of the story we all are eager to tell.

As we raise our children, we want them to stay away from gossip, idle chatter, rumor, and hearsay, but they might have to live alone on a desert island to avoid it all together. That’s not likely, so we ought to be teaching them what to do about gossip when they hear it. We don’t want them to pass it on.

The first thing we must recognize is that we all have an appetite for such things. Proverbs says gossip is like “tasty trifles” or chocolate chips (my translation). A little handful from time to time can’t do much harm, or so we think. But this verse says they go down “into the inmost body.” And they can’t do any good there. In fact, it’s like eating poison. The gossip hurts her own soul.

Talebearers also kindle strife. They keep the hostilities fresh even after no one can remember what started the feud in the first place. Tale-bearing brings judgment. God holds us accountable for every idle word. How much more for those words calculated to stir up trouble?

In Paul’s letter to Timothy he addressed the trouble caused by idle women who are “wandering about house to house” drinking coffee and wasting time “saying things which they ought not” (1 Tim. 5:13). These things on the “ought not” list no doubt include gossip and tale-bearing. They should not be talking  that way about their husbands, children, friends, pastors, church, school, or neighbors. They are passing around tasty little morsels that will give everyone an eventual stomach ache.

Whenever Scripture gives us a “no” to obey, it is always wise to consider the “yes” we have instead. We are to be always giving thanks, for example. Instead of passing around gossip, pass around a little gratitude and thanksgiving. Don’t be drawn in. Change the subject.

February 16: Faithful Wounds

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend…” (Prov. 27:6) is an often quoted verse when we want to bring something “delicate” to a friend or family member. Yes, faithful are the wounds of a friend. But let’s go back a step. Let’s consider if we are a faithful friend in the first place. If we are, then we are qualified to give a faithful wound.

A faithful friend is one who loves at all times, who doesn’t desert in the hard times, who has a long-standing record of kindness and sacrifice. If we have been there in thick and in thin, in good times and bad, then we may be qualified to offer some criticism to our friend.

Finding fault is the easiest thing in the world. Everyone can do it. We can find fault in our friends, in our relatives, in our own children and parents and siblings. No one has to teach a class on fault-finding. So when you see something in a friend that you believe needs to be corrected, first consider whether you are just on a fault-finding spree. Lay off for a while. Pray about it. Look in the mirror and see if you have any faults of your own. Don’t be hasty in bringing a rebuke to a friend.

Is this fault bothering you? If it is, then you might be tempted to correct it for your own sake. Love covers a multitude of sins. A friend loves at all times. Do you have the love to cover it? If love cannot cover it, that either means that you are not being loving, or it means that it is such a grievous sin that it needs to be addressed and not covered. These are the options.

Is this fault making your friend look bad to others? Then you might have a good motive for bringing the correction.

If you are tempted to tell others about the fault rather than bringing it to your friend first, then you are not a faithful friend. Faithfulness equals loyalty, and loyalty wants to protect the reputation of your friend.

Beware correcting heart attitudes. Only God can see the heart. Don’t attribute motives to your friend and rebuke them for pride or envy. How do you know? Quite often we are guilty of the very thing we think we see in others.

Pray about these things before you bring a correction or a rebuke. It really is a wound. It hurts. Be sure that it is worth it. Be certain of your own heart and mind first.  A faithful friend wounds with humility and kindness. That’s a tall order! We can’t confront our friends casually and wrap it up with a “faithful are the wounds of a friend” comment. A friend understands the effect of the correction and brings it carefully and humbly, exercising good stewardship over the situation.

The right kind of wound, brought by a real friend, can be a true blessing.

February 15: The Outer Man

Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. (2 Corinthians 4:16).

Several things bear mentioning about this wonderful verse. The first is that the previous context in verse 14 (which explains the therefore) says “…knowing that He who raised up the Lord Jesus will also raise us up with Jesus, and will present us with you.” This is the reason that we can therefore not lose heart.

It is because of our hope of the resurrection that we can deal with our perishing outer man. This perishable body begins slowing down as soon as it hits its prime. Sometimes far sooner. I have many friends with many ailments of many kinds. I’m sure you do too. You may have some of your own. This verse tells you that you have reason to not lose heart. This body is going to be replaced with one that will not perish. This is the hope of the resurrection, and it is this hope which should be our ballast when we are tossed with cares over this outer man of ours.

Meanwhile, our inner man is traveling in the other direction. It is prospering, being renewed, refreshed, and rejuvenated day by day. Imagine a chalkboard with one line traveling down, which represents the state of our bodies, and another line traveling up, which represents the state of our souls or inner man. This should cheer us right up. We can certainly get distracted and discouraged by the state of the outer man, but we should be encouraged by the state of the inner man.

This doesn’t mean that we don’t pray for healthy bodies and healing from sickness. It simply means that we should keep our perspective in it all. We should be encouraged by what God is doing on the inside. In fact, when the outer man is acting up, we should use it as a reminder of what is happening to the inner man.

But what if you don’t feel renewed every day? Then pray for renewal. Ask the Holy Spirit to fill you and control you throughout each day. Ask God to renew your mind through His Word and feed on it daily. A transformation is in progress. Just as our bodies are gradually changing, so are our souls. Though we see one with our eyes, we see the other by faith. Be glad for the hope we have, and do not lose heart.

February 14: I Corinthians 13:4-8

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;  does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;  does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

This is an often referenced portion of Scripture, and is probably very familiar to us all. It is obviously full of wonderful statements about love, but the thing I’d like to look at more closely is that small little phrase “does not seek it’s own.”  This is very literally “is not zealous for itself”, it is translated in the NIV as “it is not self-seeking”

One of the big confusions of our time is that our lives are a journey to finding ourselves. Especially when it comes to love, we look out to see if we are being true to ourselves.  This is because, at a fundamental level, we want to worship ourselves. We want to be on a spiritual journey to find ourselves. We want to sort through the rubble in our lives and locate the prize at the bottom: us! We want to obey ourselves – worshipping at the altar of our own convenience, our own enjoyment, our own desires, and our own sacrifices. And all this is just a quest to grow closer to our own little god, the self. Many christians do this in our worship also – as though God is simply here to make us feel better, make our lives easier, and flood us all with the warm fuzzies of self acceptance. But the fact is that we are broken, and our “selves” are corrupt.

You can’t have yourself for wanting. Pursuing yourself will always leave you needing, demanding, fantasizing, coveting, fussing, hurting, and bickering. No matter what you do, at the end of the day, if it was done unto yourself it will not be of value. It is not love. Self- seeking is not love. Self seeking in having children is not love. Wanting to fill your own arms with adoption is not love. Relishing the feelings of your own hurt as you reach out to the needy is not love. Watching yourself minister to others is not love. Enjoying your self sacrifice is not love. Embracing the feeling you get when you are not selfish is not love, it is simply a more elaborate way to seek yourself. Focusing on the hurt, the shame, the needs you feel as you try to minister to others means that you are trying to use others to minister to yourself. The reality is that as we seek ourselves, look into our own eyes, pursue our own truths, we are simply being disobedient.

When we love, truly – when it is not self seeking, then we are sacrificing. Then it is our own little uncomfortable selves that we have put on the altar. That is obedience.When we obey, when the driving force in our lives is obedience, then we have become Christ’s own body. Our identity is in Christ, because we are not seeking after ourselves. Pursue obedience to find yourself. Pursue Christ to reach others. Worship God to know who you are. When we obey scripture, when we sacrifice our own little “selves” in obedience to God, we are full of love. But we do not love because it is who we are, we love because it is who He is. At a fundamental level, it is our own identity that changes. This is what is meant by our “identity in Christ.” That is true love.

February 13: Home

Psalm 128:3, “Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house…” Titus 2:4-5, “That they may teach the younger women to be….keepers at home…” 1 Timothy 5:14, “…that the younger women…guide the house…”

Your home is the center of your world. All our domestic affections revolve around home. Home is our headwaters. Healthy headwaters send fruitfulness and blessing downstream, one generation after another. In the very center of the home is a woman who keeps, preserves, manages, and guides the home life. She has the power to make these headwaters sweet and beautiful, nourishing and refreshing.

Domesticity is a beautiful word and a beautiful calling, and it is the unique feminine domain. God is not afraid to delegate this notable work of bringing up future generations to women. The family and the home are His ideas, not ours. He tells us to bear fruit, to love our husbands and kids, to be discreet and chaste, to bring up kids and show hospitality, and then to teach the younger women to do the same thing with the next generation. This is reformational living, and it is a culture-building work.

Home can sometimes be Grand Central Station, but it is Mom’s steady presence and love and labor that guides and keeps it. She is in the very heart of the house, not out on the edges. This makes her the life and soul of the home, which is exactly what God designed her to be. Homemaking is an expansive, challenging calling that has a far bigger impact than any of us can really grasp. How many hundreds of descendents will you have? Homemaking is a sacrificial calling that bears fruit a hundred fold. It is a tremendous opportunity for good. To hold such an influential position in the hearts and lives of so many is a humble crown of blessing.

February 12: Hearty Counsel

The foundation for all our friendships is, of course, our friendship with Christ. And how do we know we are friends with Jesus? “Greater love hath no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. You are my friends if you do whatever I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you” (John 15:13-15).

Jesus calls us His friends, and He laid His life down for us. The fact of this astounding relationship we have with God should transform our own friendships as we imitate Him. We are to “Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another…” (Romans 12:10). This is at the heart of  Christian friendship: in honor giving preference to one another. This is dying to self, laying your life and your interests down for the sake of your friend. This caliber of friendship is what we all long to have and extend.

Proverbs 27:9-10 says, “Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: So doth the sweetness of a man’s friend by hearty counsel.” God’s friendship with us is characterized by “hearty counsel.” He allows us to unburden our cares to Him and He gladly bears them for us. In the same way, we ought to bless our friends with such hearty counsel. This kind of counsel is like perfume and it rejoices the heart. We can share our concerns and receive healthy, sweet, and godly counsel. This is a friendship that goes deeper than the surface.

Now I don’t think this means our friendships should be characterized by constant counseling. And certainly we should be good stewards of our friends’ confidences. “He who repeats a matter separates friends” (Prov. 17:9). And we should not dominate the friendship by always needing counseling. That would be putting our own interests ahead, not behind our friends’ interests. At the same time, the sweetness of the friendship described here means that there is a strong (hearty) presence of biblical thinking and practice. This is like Faithful and Christian on the road together, encouraging one another as they press on toward the Celestial City. Hearty counsel. This sounds like what we all need in a friend. So of course that means it’s the kind of friend we should be.

 

Valentine Cookies

Every other third decade or so, I have an inexplicable urge to decorate sugar cookies. And then I do it. And then I remember why the last time I did it I swore off the practice entirely and vowed to stay upon the straight and narrow path of chocolate chip cookies from here on out. It’s all those little squirty bags and decorator tips and blops of icing everywhere and the high-powered food coloring that gets on your dishrag and the cookies that look nowhere near as good as they clearly ought to, given the amount of fiddly preparation that went into them. That’s the part that gets me down.

The cookies pictured above are the results of my own little baking spree. The cookies pictured at left are the ones which made me decide that it would be a good idea to make some Valentine cookies. Are you drinking in the discrepancy between the two photos?

Once, many years ago, back in the olden days, probably when I was fluffing my bangs into a swoop and spraying them put with White Rain, I saw a picture of some cast stone candlestick holders in a catalog. Don’t ask me why I was so taken with them – I was clearly not in the market for candlestick holders. I was pegging my pants and wearing Keds with no laces, not putting together my stylish Tuscan villa. (Actually, I take that back. It might have been more the Doc Martin era than Keds.) But nonetheless, I deeply loved those candlestick holders. And I figured that I could totally make them myself. That’s always been my downfall. More times than I can count. That nagging little voice that won’t shut up that says, “I’ll bet I could make that myself.”

My plan was to first sculpt one candlestick, make a mold, and then I could produce as many cast stone candlestick holders as I could ever want. Which at the time seemed like it would be really useful. (Rachel tries to distance herself now, and pretend  that she was a skeptical bystander throughout this entire episode, but I’m  convinced that she was deeply involved herself.) As far as it went, it was a good plan. But I was doubtful about my ability to produce  a truly round shape with clay since I didn’t have a potter’s wheel. And I had good reason to doubt my abilities – I believe there had been a major clay incident in my life only a short while before which ended in Mom’s kitchen having a skim coat of clay over every single surface and nothing of any value to show for it. (Not as bad of a mess, however, as the time Rachel and I decided to make some batik on Mom’s stove.) Anyway, on this project I felt I needed to think outside the box. Clay wasn’t going to work. What then? After racking my brain for a while, I came up with what seemed like an obvious solution. I’m sure you’ve thought of it already in fact. Spray foam.

Spray foam could be squirted right out of the can into a perfectly round shape . . . and I could keep building up layers until I had myself a nice neoclassical looking candlestick holder which could then be reproduced in cast stone form. What could go wrong?

Looking back on it, I can of course see a few flaws in my reasoning, beginning with the decision to sculpt with spray foam, and ending with my decision to sculpt with spray foam. Other than that though, it was a pretty good plan. I wish I had saved that valiant effort as a little reminder to myself, a little memento to pull out and gaze at whenever the mood takes me to start a project like this. The end result was sort of like a cross between a pancake and a muffin . . . but not a very symmetrical pancake-muffin. Sort of lopping over to one side and listing to starboard in a depressed sort of way.

This is how I feel about sugar cookies. In my mind I envision the beautiful stone candlestick holder – but in actual fact I am left with a spray foam muffin squash. In my mind, the cookies will turn out like the beautiful Martha Stewart picture, in actual fact we are left with something quite a bit less glamorous. If I had remembered this, I probably wouldn’t have whipped up these Valentine cookies this weekend – I would have just made the kids some brownies and called it a day.

On the other hand though, these cookies ended up tasting really good, which sugar cookies sometimes don’t. You know how they can be just kind of sickly sweet, with a weird acidic aftertaste? Well these don’t do that. They are really good sugar cookies, and the lemony frosting gives them a little pop of something more interesting.

So if you’re in the mood to sculpt a candlestick holder, try these instead. They may not look any better, but I guarantee they’ll taste better:

Sugar Cookies with Lemon Frosting:

3 c. flour

1 tsp. baking powder

1 tsp. soda

1 tsp. salt

1 1/8 c. sugar

1 c. shortening

2 eggs

1/4 c. milk

1 tsp. vanilla.

Sift together all dry ingredients and cut in shortening until the mixture resembles coarse meal. Blend egg, milk, and vanilla together. Add to dry ingredients. Roll out, cut into desired shapes, and bake in a 400 degree oven for about 10 minutes.

Frosting:

5 Tbsp. meringue powder

1/3 c. water

3 Tbsp. lemon juice

4 cups powdered sugar

Beat meringue powder and water until stiff peaks form. Add sugar and lemon juice. Beat for 1 minute more. Add food coloring and frost your cookies.

 

February 11: Proverbs 12:26

The righteous should choose his friends carefully,

For the way of the wicked leads them astray.

Friendship is a very interesting part of the human life. We really need companionship and fellowship with others, but there is so much that can go wrong for us in this. This verse talks about one of those ways things can go wrong. If you aren’t careful in your friendships, you will be led astray. The point is to be careful who you are friends with. Of course this isn’t talking about who you are simply acquaintances with, but rather friends. The Hebrew word here for friends is one that implies exactly what we would think. A form of companionship, one that could be summed up as “pasture-mates.” So we get the idea that our friends are the people that we are milling about with. 

Clearly this is true of when we are becoming friends with the people who are really the closest to us – that handful that you count as your true close friends. The thing that I’m wanting to bring out is a different vulnerability.

The internet allows us to pasture quite freely and without accountability with all sorts of people. We can stop in on all kinds of different subcultures, read up on what they are doing, learn a few things, leave a few comments, and press on. But the reality is that this is a kind of choosing friends. They may not be close to you, they may not be people you would even like in person, they may not be any of the things that you believe are important, but you are willingly pasturing with them. You are processing information with them. You are exchanging ideas, and exchanging values. And this is how it is possible to be led astray by someone that you never even knew. Chose your friends carefully.

When we spend time with people in real life, or virtually, we become like them. The internet has a unique trick, which is that we feel like it is abstract information rather than a personal exchange or relationship. Would you be comfortable at this person’s kitchen table looking at the outfits that they are telling you are cute and chic? Is this person a wise friend? Would it be wise for you to join this person’s little group of friends simply because you both are ticked off about the same small issue when she is actually New Age? Is this a wise friend? Would you really want to hear what this man thinks about what your hair should look like if you knew him in person? Is this a wise friend?

Some of my examples might seem stupid or uptight to you, but I am not talking about something that has never affected anyone. The reason so many women get mad about the make believe perfect housekeepers, or the food bloggers, or the people with perceived perfect marriages is that they have been out pasturing with them. They have been led astray somewhere and are angry about it. The reason so many women have broken fellowship with their local community of believers over things that you would not think were important is because they have been led astray. They have been pasturing with unwise friends. They have not asked themselves the very simple question of “Is this person wicked?”, followed by,”Should I be hanging out with them?”

Especially as we raise our children in this era of  virtual life, it is critically important that we notice these things. We need to be asking the big questions first, not looking to see if we have the same taste in some minor area of life. We absorb a lot more than we know we do.

Note that this verse says that the righteous should chose his friends carefully. Apparently the righteous can be led astray by casual friendships. The righteous probably thought that they could easily strain the bad out of the good. But our lives are not that unconnected. We are the hot water and our friends are the tea. We can’t just strain out the chunks and go away unaffected.

Sometimes the righteous might think these are not worldview issues but just  lifestyle issues: we share a common aesthetic; we agree about immunizations; we both like bad novels; we all hate cheese. Whatever. Be careful that you are not befriending someone who will lead you astray. And be careful that you know when you have begun pasturing with someone.

 

February 9: A New Week

Each Sunday is a foundation day for the week which follows. Consider how you lay your foundation. Present yourself to God to worship Him, and build your week from that starting point.

“I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me” (Galatians 2:20).

This short passage tells us who we are and what we are for, which is something all the world is struggling to find out. Who am I? I am spiritually united with Christ. I have forgiveness from the penalty of sin,  freedom from the power of sin, and fulfillment and purpose in this life because Christ lives in me. This life I live in the flesh, I live by faith. I have fellowship with God because Christ loved me and died for me. For me! Because of this action on His part, I can be His child. This being is not based on any action on my part; it is all His doing.

My purpose is to love Him completely, which means drawing near to Him each day, being renewed in my mind throughout the day. As a result, my life will exhibit the Spirit’s fruit. I die daily, meaning I present my body daily to God as a living sacrifice, striving to please Him with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. Jesus said that if I love Him, I will obey His commands.

I acknowledge that He is control of everything in my life, and that He will work it all for my good and His glory. Therefore, I walk through the week trusting Him and obeying Him and rejoicing in Him, letting my mind dwell on things above.

This is walking by faith. This is the Christian life. Each week we get to begin again, laying a new foundation of worship. This is the day that the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it!