Nancy Wilson's Blog, page 30

January 29: Called to This

Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing (1 Peter 3:8-9).

As we look at these verses from 1 Peter, let’s jump to the end and go backwards. What is it we were “called to”? We are called to look out for each other. We are “summoned” to behave a certain way toward one another. We are Christians, and this calling bestows many wonderful things on us (we will inherit a blessing) and requires many difficult things of us.

In these verses above we have positive commands and negative commands. The positive commands are all about how to treat one another: be of one mind, have compassion, love each other, be tender toward one another, watch your manners. These sound wonderful, but are not always easy to do. We don’t always feel like it, and the “others” don’t always deserve it (from our perspective). But we were called to this, and if we follow through, there will be an inheritance waiting for us.

Then we have the negative commands. Don’t go returning evil for evil. Neither reviling for reviling. So….what if someone is being extremely pillish? Downright pigheaded? The words used here (evil and reviling) are very strong words. They are not the kind of words used to describe someone giving you the cold shoulder. This is more like someone cussing you out or throwing rocks at your car. Don’t retaliate. If someone is cussing you out, don’t go cussing back at them. It’s much better to smile and tell them to have a nice day. This is a tall order, but this is what we are called to.

Now most of the time, we are not receiving this kind of evil and reviling in the course of the day. On the other hand, I have talked with women who get this kind of treatment from their husbands quite often (not the rock throwing, but the cussing out). God has written this for all of us. He wants wives to win their husbands a certain way, and it’s not by dishing back.

Little troubles can be a snare. We might think we could handle the big ones fine, but we certainly won’t unless we are practicing with all the little annoyance. For example,  snapping at our kids when they are whining at us is a form of returning evil for evil. Rather, we are to return a blessing. Give the little one a smile and a hug and gentle instruction. How else will they learn this unless they learn it from you?

When we return one unkindness for another, we stir up our souls and make more trouble. When we return a kindness instead, it keeps our hearts steady and our souls have peace.

Jesus said: “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

He has set the pattern for us to follow. He bears with us and our own stubborn hearts, so He is the expert. We have taken His yoke and by following Him in this we will find real rest.

 

 

 

 

January 28: Good Works

We sometimes think we need to scurry around searching for good works to do in order to feel like we are being faithful, fruitful Christians. But consider this verse: “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10).

You yourself are God’s good work! He made you and said it was good. Not only that, He enables you to imitate Him in good works. He has already prepared you for specific good works, and He has prepared the good works for you. That means you can walk by faith, and do the next thing in front of you. Do the kids need a snack? That’s a good work for sure. Does your neighbor need to borrow your phone? Does your husband need a clean shirt? You get the idea. You are not to despise these little, mundane good works while looking for more glamorous ones. You are to simply do the next thing which God has graciously prepared for you to do. You walk in those good works. You must not long for the good works that He has prepared for other people. Yours are custom-designed for you by a good and loving Father.

Good works are fruit. They are the result of who we are in Christ; we cannot produce them if we are bramble bushes. If we are in Christ, we are a new creation; the old has passed away and the new has come. When He transforms us from bramble bushes to apple trees, fruit is the natural result. The Spirit in us causes us to produce good works.

Much of this fruit-bearing comes as part of our daily duties, but there is another category of good works that may occur to you from time to time. You may know someone who has a heavy load, and you think, ” I should drop her a note.” Or you may know of someone who needs encouragement and you think, “I should fix her a meal or take her cookies or give her a phone call.” These are the good works that we might be tempted to brush off because they are not right in front of us with a hungry look. But we ought to take heed to these suggestions and follow through with as many as are feasible.  These may also be some of the good works that God has ordained for us. We have the resources because He has equipped us to do them, and He has prepared these things in advance particularly for us.When something occurs to you, do it whenever possible.

In 1 Timothy 5:9-10, we are given a list of the good works widows are to be known for if they are going to be added to the church’s support list. These are not flamboyant good works. They are the kind of things we don’t have to go looking for: brought up children, lodged strangers, washed the saints’ feet, relieved the afflicted, and “diligently followed every good work.” I’m pretty sure that last one includes baking chocolate chip cookies.

This list is not what we might necessarily think of: Bringing up children is a good work? Yes, indeed it is. So is babysitting. (Now as a side note to those of you who want to bring up children, but the Lord has not given you any to bring up, consider this: God has prepared good works in advance for you to walk in. If He has not given you children, He most certainly has other good works prepared for you. You may be able to excel in hospitality and relieve the afflicted. Whatever your portion, give thanks to the good God who has ordained it to be so.)

Putting people up in your home is a good work. We don’t wash a lot of feet these days, but we can  still take our guests’ coats and offer them a drink and make them feel welcome. We can organize meals for the sick, and send cards to the grieving. We can do all kinds of stuff like this. This kind of good work is what qualifies us to be “known for good works.”

As you walk through this day, consider what God has given you. Be excited and expectant to see what good things He has planned for you to do. Walk in them by faith, and offer them all to Him as a sweet sacrifice of praise.

 

January 26: Old Wives’ Tales

“But refuse profane and old wives’ fables, and exercise yourself rather to godliness” (1 Timothy 4:7).

Have you ever wondered why Paul had to warn Christians not to be susceptible to old wives’ tales? Not to be gullible? Not to fall into funny little superstitions that are passed around through the women?

Obviously he’s not just warning the women not to fall into this trap – he’s admonishing the men too. But notice what he’s telling them to stay away from. He doesn’t want any children of God to fall prey to the silly stories that women tend to be especially good at passing back and forth to each other. This, I think, makes it obvious that it’s a temptation that might be especially strong for women – and maybe we need to examine ourselves to see if we’ve slipped into this anywhere.

Interestingly, Paul gives us a contrast here. Part 1, don’t fall prey to old wives tales. Part 2, instead, exercise (some translations say “discipline”) yourself to godliness. I think if we stop and pick this apart a little bit, we’ll see something important. Notice where the contrast lies. One option is to exercise. Train. Be disciplined. Put in effort and hard work over time. The other option is to fall into the trap of old wives’ tales. I think we should see from this where the lure actually is. Old wives’ tales can appeal because they seem like a short cut. They feel like the easier road. They offer the illusion that you’ve short-cutted your way into wisdom and fulfillment.

Disciplining yourself in godliness takes hard work. It takes a lot of humility. A lot of failure. A lot of repentance. A lot of picking yourself up and trying again. A lot of realizing that you can’t ever rely on yourself. Let’s say you’re struggling with losing your temper at your children and your husband. Paul says that you are to exercise yourself to godliness – which means getting up every single day and working on it. Repenting. Praying. fighting. Or . . . or maybe . . . maybe you could take some of these Baldwin pills to cure irritability of temper and hysteria. That would be nice. (The only trouble is that advertisements for Baldwin pills are very quaint and vintage now, and not up to date with the current lingo, so it’s unlikely we’d fall for those.)

But maybe your facebook friend is right when she says that it sounds like (I’m making this up as I go along here so work with me!) maybe your electro-magnetic field has been disrupted because of harmful pathogens . . . and this has made the calcium deposits in your liver dislodge and get into your bloodstream . . . and this has the well-known effect of upsetting the delicate balance of your moods . . . and it’s been undeniably proven that a treatment of juniper berries and lavender oils will take care of this . . . and also you should rub some paprika between your toes before you go to bed to keep your calcium stable,so you’ll wake up in a better mood tomorrow.

Do you see how this might appeal? As silly and ridiculous as it is, it would be really, really nice if we could fix our attitude with a little paprika between the toes. We want it to be true because it would be SO MUCH EASIER. Paprika we can handle. We can feel in control of it. We can make up a nice little chart of when to drink the juniper oil and how to diagnose the proper time to rub some nutmeg on our earlobes.

I think at a certain level, the control is the part that appeals. Sanctification is so very, very out of our hands. It’s a lot of work, but not a lot of being in the driver’s seat. If we could take charge of our problems and solve them with fermented fish juice, it would be the short and painless road into a godlier lifestyle.

We wouldn’t ever say this out loud of course. But how many times have you seen treatments recommended on facebook (between Christians) that are offering quick solutions to ailments which actually can only be truly addressed with the blood of Christ . . . not juniper tablets.

Are you tired and overwhelmed? Resist the lure of the old wives’ tales and look to Christ instead. Don’t settle for the illusion of a quick fix – it will only leave you empty anyway, and you’ll find yourself chasing the next promised solution. Instead – discipline yourself to godliness. Be ready for Christ’s boot camp. Be ready for the dirt and the bruises and the bone-aching tired that comes from exercise in godliness. Be ready to surrender control. Be ready to call sins what they actually are and take care of them the way that God tells you to. Are you angry? Repent of it and don’t try to treat your mysterious “tired” symptoms as a way of handling the problem. Are you discontent? Don’t try and blame it on your aches and pains. Repent of it. Lazy? Repent. As it turns out, that’s really the only way of walking in the light and keeping yourself out of the swampy weirdness of old wives tales.

Evangellyfish

I have many reasons to be proud of my husband, but this latest thing is just fun. He has gone and won  the 2013 Book Award for Christian fiction from Christianity Today. Came totally out of the blue. He had no idea.

Evangellyfish is a book he had a whole lot of fun writing, and if you read it, you’ll see what I mean. You can hear him chuckling in the background on most every page. In fact, I remember walking into his study a few times when he had completely cracked himself up. Love that about him!

Hat’s off to my husband the novelist! And congrats to Canon Press for having a winning book!

 

January 25: 1 Peter 5:7

“Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.”

Years ago I taught a poetry elective to some high school students. One of the things that I had them do was memorize some famous lines of poetry, but instead of leaving the line as a stand alone, memorize the surrounding verses. It often adds quite a bit of understanding to the whole thing. Surprise surprise, most often these things have context, and the context adds something rather valuable.

This verse about bringing our cares before God is exactly one of these sorts of events. Let’s look at just the line before it -

“Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.”

And just one half verse before that: “ for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.”

So today I am at the grocery store. Just for a couple things, which is good, because I only have a couple of minutes. I am mostly behind on my life by about a day and a half. In some places more, but I am ignoring those. My back hurts, which happens whenever I haven’t had time to go to the gym. I am stupid tired, which could have been avoided by not staying up stupid late. But nothing is really wrong. I love my job of being a mom, love my kids, love my husband, and yet here I am fussing it up in my head. Not because there is anything objectively wrong, but because that is what I feel like doing.

If afflictions were a soda fountain, I have made the ill-judged “suicide” of my youth. Just a squirt of tired, with a squirt of busy, with a squirt of behind, with a squirt of sugar-free attitude. And what I want is to feel bad about the nasty drink that I have before me. Root beer doesn’t blend well with raspberry iced tea. It just doesn’t.

Now because my husband is wise and also loving, with a side of excellent timing, he chose to text me a verse and tell me to pray for grace. So here I am, standing in the Band-Aid aisle trying to sort out why I so badly don’t want to. I want to shrug it off and say it wasn’t a big deal. I want to have a solution all by myself. What I want is to find a garnish for this wretched drink I have made that will make it all somehow palatable. What I apparently don’t want is to tell God that my drink is bad and ask him to fix it. I was over there at the soda fountain pumping it into my cup with enthusiasm, and I don’t want to admit that what I have whizzed up is not tasty.

So I had a laugh at myself amongst the Band- Aids and prayed about it. Because being tired isn’t a sin, but being ugly is. Being behind isn’t a sin, but being annoyed by it is. Being busy isn’t a sin, but being self absorbed is.

The thing that really struck me is that I didn’t want to ask God to take it away. I did not want the grace that He has promised to provide us. I wanted to just handle it myself – maybe with a coffee, or with lunch. Maybe with getting on top of the next thing I have to do, by blowing it out all by myself. And yet. God resists the proud.

But the humble, the humble will get His grace. So I came home and looked up this verse. And I laughed again, because Grace is joy.

“for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.

 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:

Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.”

January 24: Proverbs 17:27

He who has knowledge spares his words,

And a man of understanding is of a calm spirit.

 

It is a sort of standing joke in our house that we can tell we need to tighten up on discipline when we find ourselves talking way too much. Of course all discipline should start with self discipline. And the words in question of course are not words of a story, or words of pleasant conversation. We are talking about words of correction. Whenever we find ourselves being wordy, it is usually because we have not been following through. So beginning with ourselves, we need to tighten things up. A non- biblical proverb that applies to this is the old “a stitch in time saves nine.” So also, a calm word in advance saves nine hasty ones in the future. And one moment of self discipline saves a great wave of discipline problems.

When we are tempted as parents to bribe our children, to pacify them while they are sinning, or to postpone the inevitable manifestation of sin, what we are doing is not indulging the children. That is the common assumption. Giving them M& M’s instead of dealing with the refusal to get in the car is an example of a parent being self-indulgent. Forget the children being pacified – you are trying to pacify yourself.

Sometimes as parents, we start to get wound up. Our spirit is not calm, and so we start barking out commands, running past a child while we try to explain to them what they are doing wrong. Looking at our phones while we tell them that they are being bad.

People who are calm in spirit are people who are delightful to be around. The calmness of their spirit assures you that they are reasonable. Someone who is calm of spirit is not a person who has a fast inner dialogue going on. They have understanding. You are confident that they are not hastily taking offense, trying you, convicting you, all before you even know that something is happening. You can discuss a problem with a person who is calm in spirit, because they will take the time to hear you. They will listen all the way through, not just jump hastily into response.

When it comes to mothers with children – it is easy to become anxious in spirit. There are a million things that can unsettle your spirit. You might be giving into anxiety, into worry, into envy, into guilt without repentance. You might be stressing out about the very simple things in life- like what you will make for dinner, or whether or not your child has pink eye. And then, having gathered up a lot of unsettled spirit, you are primed to spring into an overreaction. You are  primed for an unreasonably wordy rebuke. You are primed to communicate the state of your heart rather than any wisdom.

Part of the reason that we try to avoid getting really wordy with our children is that it only happens when we are being inaccessible. Has it ever happened to you that you are mid wordy rebuke when it is revealed that the object of all your words was actually not the one at fault after all? And yet this doesn’t come up until you have already saddled the horse of rebuke and ridden off after one of your children.

Proverbs 18:2 says, “A fool has no delight in understanding, But in expressing his own heart.”

When you allow your heart to become unsettled, when you let anxiety or annoyance  build, you are setting yourself up for foolish parenting. Because when your spirit is calm, you can use your words to communicate clearly. When you are communicating clearly with your children, and what you are communicating is coming from a calm spirit, you are parenting in wisdom.

This is why, at a fundamental level, being a wise parent starts with having a calm heart. Of course the state of our heart is always our relationship to our Savior. Listen to Him. Repent. Pray. Give thanks. Rejoice. Laugh. Then, after all of that, you will be ready to speak.

 

 

 

January 23: Weariness

Galations 6:9-10 says, “And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith.”

And we have a similar thought in 2 Thess. 3:13: “But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary in doing good.”

From these verses, we can gather than it is common for us to grow weary of doing good. Why else would the Apostle Paul feel it necessary to mention this not once, but twice? Is weariness a sin?

I think there are two kinds of weariness. The first kind is how we might feel at the end of a very productive and tiring day. We are tired or even exhausted from our labors. This kind of weariness is to be expected. I don’t think being tired is a sin, but a good sign.

But there is another kind of weariness. Consider these comments and think of others like them: “I grow weary of the baby’s crying.” “I am tired of homeschooling.” “I am sick of picking up after you.” “I am weary of having guests.”

You get the idea. That kind of weariness is more like impatience than exhaustion. This kind of weariness is discontent. It is dissatisfied, feeling put upon. This kind of weariness has begun to view “good works” as tedious bothers. “Let someone else do it. I never get thanked or noticed anyway.” This kind of weariness is sinful. It bears sour fruit.

So this explains why Paul would mention this temptation to us. We can grow weary of doing good. Again. Here’s the admonishment: Don’t grow discontent with serving others. Keep taking every opportunity you have to do good, especially to your fellow saints. Don’t lose heart! God sees your labors. You may be tired, but you don’t have to grow weary. In due time, you will see a harvest of good things from all those seeds that you put in the ground. Hang on! Don’t give up! Press on!

 

One Big Ugly

Yesterday marked the fortieth anniversary of Roe vs. Wade in our country. There is so much tragedy and brutality surrounding that decision on the part of our Supreme Court that it is just too much to take in. The pro-life movement has had its victories, but at the end of the day, 57 million unborn babies have been slaughtered.

Something that has bothered me for a long time is the relative ineffectiveness of being pro-life. While I have worked at a crisis pregnancy center, supported Pro-life ministries, and done whatever else seems doable, there is a certain amount of frustration. It isn’t as though girls on their way in to Planned Parenthood bring it up with strangers in the grocery store first. This is something that has just been happening in spite of us, something that has been haunting our country for a very long time.

Yesterday I saw the video put out by some reproductive council in celebration of Roe vs. Wade. It was spectacular in its sickness. A well-dressed man with bedroom eyes talking to his girl (Roe vs. Wade) “Happy Anniversary, Baby.” Talking about how they tried to keep us apart, about how they never will. So completely appalling that it just sort of sits there in front of you – asking you to just try and soak it in. Recently I saw an ad for Planned Parenthood that featured an ecstatic woman – arms raised in enthusiasm wearing a shirt that says “I had an abortion.”

As I was thinking about this last night something occurred to me. It’s big, it’s ugly, it seems unstoppable, and now it is sassy-talking too. It is coming out to taunt us! What does this remind us of? Remember a certain Giant that challenged Israel? The one who came out daily and blasphemed? For forty days. Until David happened to be there when he did it. All of Israel was afraid. All of Israel responded in fear to Goliath’s threats. They worried about it. They were grieved. They were frustrated and afraid. And this is how it is possible that in a country where over 50% of the population think a baby is a baby, abortion is still legal. Because a lot of those people are afraid.

This brings me to what was really on my mind to say. This is a fight, and there are two sides. There is one side for God and there is one side against Him. One of the things that frustrates Pro-lifers so intensely is that the people who are standing over on Goliath’s side are apparently not noticing how hideous he is. We try to persuade them by showing them pictures, telling them stories, and showing them the obvious evil that is taking place. It can be incredibly frustrating. Why can they not see it? The answer at a fundamental level is that they do not fear God. They cannot see because they do not have eyes to see.

In some way, the presence of a sick monster on your side is comforting. They know he is hideous. That is not the point. They might not want to think about it, but they know. That is not the argument. The thing that they are deceived about is that they think their monster is stronger than God. But their monster cannot protect them. There is a safety in sin when you are standing with him. Let him go out and taunt – it makes your smaller sin feel a little less guilty. But you certainly can’t admit the depth of his sin, not without admitting the depth of your own.

But we know that our God is stronger than Goliath. We know that he will fall. It is simply a question of when and how. Goliath is not invincible, Goliath does not get away with taunting the Living God. We know how that story ends.

So our prayer should be for an unlikely warrior. For someone who is strategic and unafraid. Or for a whole movement of people who are small, strategic, and unafraid. Do not listen to the blaspheming taunts of Goliath. Do not believe for a moment that he is a strong as he says he is. Make yourselves into smooth stones. Make yourselves about the right weight and shape to kill a Giant. Raise your children to believe God. Repent of your own sin quickly. Do not slip into taking comfort  in the relative smallness of your sin next to that. Behave on a daily basis like God cares about the little things in your life, not just the little people in the wombs of others. Do not fear. Do not run away from Goliath. Worship God. Pray. Believe His promises. Be joyful. Educate your children. Love your children in sacrificial ways. Invite people to share a table with you. Reach out to the lost with forgiveness, with the blood of Christ.

It is only a matter of time, and in my opinion, forty years is enough.

January 22: Proverbs 11:1

“A false balance is an abomination to the Lord,

But a just weight is His delight.”

I was recently struck by how many times this theme comes up in Scripture. It is in the Old Testament law (Leviticus 19:35-36, Deuteronomy 25:13-15),and it is mentioned four times in Proverbs. Here, and again in Proverbs 16:11, Proverbs  20:10, and Proverbs 20:23.

God values accuracy. He wants His people to honestly deal with one another. None of this rounding up when it helps you and down when it doesn’t. We are to be people of truth. Now I am imagining that many of us do not daily deal with actual weights and measures. We are probably not in the habit of ripping people off in our Old West dry goods store. So it may seem that this scriptural emphasis is not terribly relevant in our times, or at least in our lives. So let’s consider for a moment some of the ways that we are inclined to use unequal weights and measures in our lives.

First of all, lets consider our children. What are some of the ways that we might put our thumbs on the scale when dealing with them? What about not forgiving the last offense when dealing with the current one? Are you truly wiping their slate clean each time you are forgiving them, or are you letting a residue of old sins weigh the scales against them? Are you exaggerating their sins based on how annoying or destructive they are? Are you inclined to be lenient to a child you sympathize with – unjustly weighing their siblings against them? Are you putting your children in the scales – not to weigh them against God’s law, but rather against your friend’s children? Do your children have a reason to trust your judgment? Do they know you are sincere and fair? Or is it always up in the air how Mom will react?

And what about yourself? Do you treat your sin lightly because you always take into account being tired, being pregnant, being needy, being afflicted? Do you use the same standards when you weigh the sins of others against you? Or do you tip the scales in your favor again? Is everyone else always being malicious and you are simply forgetful?

As the people of God, we need to love what He loves, and hate what He hates. And one of the things that He has clearly expressed hatred of is this sort of deceit. Make your measures His measures, and keep your thumbs off of the scales.

January 21: The Voice of Rejoicing

Psalm 118:15 says this: “The voice of rejoicing and salvation is in the tents of the righteous.”

Because we are a transformed people, made new in the image of Christ, our homes are different from the other homes on the block. The homes of the unsaved are full of the sounds of bickering, murmuring, conflicts, and strife, and these sounds sometimes drift across the street. It is their nature to be at odds with one another, children against parents, husbands against wives, neighbor against neighbor. We should not expect non-Christians to act like Christians. But we should expect Christians to behave like Christians, especially when we consider ourselves (not our neighbor).

The tents of the righteous are filled with the sounds of salvation. And what does salvation sound like? It sounds like joy. Rejoicing. Lots of singing, and not just at Christmas. When the kids are playing in the back yard and you call them in for dinner, the neighbors should hear the sounds of salvation. When your windows are open in the warm weather, the sounds of salvation and rejoicing should be floating out across the neighborhood. Imagine walking through a neighborhood with these sounds coming out of every house or two. What a glory! We should not try to keep our rejoicing quiet so the neighbors won’t hear.

But, you may say, we all sin. Yes, sadly, that’s the case. But it is in our power to resist temptation, and it is also necessary that we confess our sins. If your neighbor heard you scolding your child in the back yard when you were impatient and unkind, your confession should be to God, your child, and your neighbor. You should seek God’s forgiveness and your child’s forgiveness, but you don’t need to seek your neighbor’s forgiveness. But you should say something like this: “I lost my patience with my child, and I’m afraid you heard me do it. That was very bad behavior on my part. I have confessed my sin to God, and I have asked my child to forgive me. I just wanted you to know.”

When we hold ourselves accountable in this way, it is amazing how it helps us resist future temptation. No one likes to have to go next door to apologize. So next time the kids are misbehaving in the back yard, we make sure we are not misbehaving in the back yard as well. We guard our hearts and minds, and correct our children with the voice of salvation and joy. Why? Because we are the righteous, and we ought to live like we believe it.