Mark A. Rayner's Blog: Mark A. Rayner's Goodreads Blog, page 29

Hello, My Name Is Indigo Montoya

Billy was up to three packs a day, but it was okay; he was in training for the All-Tar Olympics. His coach said he was a natural, and he had several lucrative endorsements even before he won any medals. He … Continue reading →

Ask General Kang: How do you stay warm in the winter?

You must be writing from Canada, right? Surely you know more about dealing with cold temperatures than I do. I’m the wrong interstellar overlord to ask, because generally speaking, I only take over star systems that have warm, humid planets. … Continue reading →

Level Two: The Monkey

From The Levels of Drinking Consciousness: A Unified Theory: The Hammer leads, inevitably, to “The Inebriation,” leading you to the next layer down, the monkey layer. Now, this part of our mind understands that there are consequences to actions. It’s … Continue reading →

The Lost Power Point Slides (Yanksgiving History Edition)

Chief Massasoit presents items NOT supplied for the first Thanksgiving, circa 1621 (only slide) deep-fried turkey cranberry sauce potatoes, white or sweet pie of any kind (there were pumpkins, though). Pilgrim chef suggests the following harvest feast, circa 1621 (second … Continue reading →

Protected: Why’s Wally?

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Boba Fett writes in his journal

“Last night I had that terrible dream where I got slowly digested over a 1000 years again. I wonder what it means? But in real world — totally looking forward to the Hutt Annual BBQ this weekend. Life has been … Continue reading →

Writers’ stimulants

I still think most of these would be whiskey, not coffee. (h/t to Mark Victor Young.) Alltop is a stiff drink of humor.

KFC still addictive, study finds

NEW YORK (The Skwib) — Despite moves to eliminate the use of trans-fats from its fare, Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) is still addictive. “Yes, there is still a problem with this so-called ‘food’,” Dr. Finn Gerliken, Director of the Institute … Continue reading →

Ask General Kang: I’d like to protect my kids, so is there some kind of hermetically sealed biosphere that you could recommend?

Definitely. I’d go with a product invented on my native planet, Neecknaw, during the Cranial Trauma Scare at the turn of the last century. It’s called Dr. Ooo-ook’s Multi-Phasic Baby-to-Big Boy (or Girl) Environmental Protective Suit. Dr. Ooo-ook was an … Continue reading →

Hirsute nostalgia

I’m not sure who this is, Chilliwack, maybe? Or, Jefferson Starship? Anyway, they were a band from the 70s. I encourage you to check out some of my hairy fiction. Alltop used to play base for Cream.