Mark A. Rayner's Blog: Mark A. Rayner's Goodreads Blog, page 28

The five second rule

It was the best game of zenball ever, and the crowd was wild with excitement: the whisper of butterfly wings was deafening. The Rotrovra Koan Kangaroos had just scored their first all-in kensho, and the Targenville Half-Lotus Lions replied with … Continue reading →

Ask General Kang: How do you keep your New Year’s Resolutions?

That question assumes that I make such foolish promises to myself. As you are well aware, to be an intergalactic overlord requires a certain self-discipline, an ability to focus the mind and cleave to the task(s) at hand, a certain … Continue reading →

Christmas Carnage!

Time for a little blogging break. I’ll be back next week, and in the meantime, I hope you all have a nice little break yourself. If you’re dying for more Skwib, perhaps you can avail yourself of the archives, or … Continue reading →

The Lost PowerPoint Slides (Winter Festival Edition)

Thag presents “Less darky!” (circa 11,564 BC) –> Only slide Shortest day in year Less darky after this More light good Pass mammoth rib please! Catullus presents “Saturnalia ho!” (circa 69 BC) –> Slide 6 gifts gambling tomfoolery (masters serve … Continue reading →

Classics of Literature — Ender’s Game

This is a fun and page-turning read about eugenics, institutionalized child abuse, and genocide. Humanity is at war with a distance race of aliens (called “Buggers”) and for some reason, the adults are unable to discover the best way to … Continue reading →

A reversible limerick

Bonus: nobody comes from Nantucket in this one. Alltop makes an annual pilgrimage to Nantucket. Comic by SMBC. Check out his Patreon page.

Indicia

Cindy Three Hats lived in a small bedroom community called Large Intestine. She had a fondness for cinnamon pain tea, inappropriate neckware, and reading from the Collected Works of Antoine Toast-mangler. Then one morning it happened: jackalope. Alltop thinks it’s … Continue reading →

The purpose of life: a quote

Unless you’re a robot, in which case it is to destroy all humans. Alltop is the kind of robot that wants to entertain all humans. Original photo by Joe Parks on Flickr.

Ask General Kang: Will you be invading Earth in the New Year?

Well, as your own Sung Tzu said, “All war is deception,” so you’d be foolish to believe anything that I told you. That caveat aside, I will tell you that I’m very impressed with you Earthlings, particularly your creativity; it … Continue reading →

One of the Magi Explains About the Myrrh

Everyone keeps giving me shit about my gift to Jesus the Son of God and the Messiah, King of Kings. “Isn’t myrrh basically perfume for mummies?” these ass-clowns keep asking me. “Is that an appropriate gift for a BABY?” Look, … Continue reading →