Mark A. Rayner's Blog: Mark A. Rayner's Goodreads Blog, page 26

Explaining video games

This helps me to understand why my character in Skyrim keeps picking up crap to sell, even though he has more money than he’ll ever be able to spend. Also, snowberries. Alltop tastes delicious with existential berries.

Ask General Kang: How do you deal with compulsive behaviour?

With technology and fear. On Prolonga XII (the homeworld of the Aphrodisiac Ascendancy before I invaded with my RoboChimp Legion) I had some trouble getting the native hominids there to actually do any work. They were obsessed with it. You … Continue reading →

I hate that they never serve snacks at the meetings

I mean, come on, Illuminati — some veggies and hummus or even those lousy cookies you get at Western University functions — something! Alltop doesn’t believe that cookies exist. Exquisite GIF by uno moralez.

Winter Olympics: Naked Fire Luge, Bottomless Ski Jumping, Explo-Curling

Naked Fire Luge Though not as dangerous as skurlington, naked fire luge, is, in many ways, a much more exciting sport for the viewer. The luge run is ringed by fire on both sides, and there are massive pools of … Continue reading →

Winter Olympics: Skurlington

In keeping with The Skwib Olympic motto: citius, altius, sanguius (faster, higher, bloodier) we would next like to suggest that the Winter Olympic committee combine Curling and Skeleton — the most fascinating and most dangerous competitions in one sport. Instead … Continue reading →

Tinfoil hat alert!

Kirby Ferguson, who made the highly enjoyable “Everything is a remix” web documentary, has a new project out, which may be of interest to all you paranoid groovy people. You can just go sign up for the series here. Assuming … Continue reading →

Winter Olympics: Polar Biathlon

You’d think that a combination sport that included brutal cross-country skiing and the use of firearms would be really exciting. And you’d be wrong. But we have the solution. It does, however, require the addition of polar bears. In a … Continue reading →

Winter Olympics: Ultimate Couples Ice Dance

In our continuing efforts to suggest more exciting and exploitative Winter Olympic Sports, we want to tackle ice dance next. Sure, there can be moments of pure artistic bliss in the current Ice Dance competition, but it has been marred … Continue reading →

Ask General Kang: How do you address the work-life balance?

For myself, I like to knock off work at about 3 pm, hit the links or drop by the club for a single malt scotch (or three). Back on my homeworld, Neecknaw, I expected my troops, commanders, and personal grooming … Continue reading →

Really Exploitative Winter Olympic Sports

The Winter Olympics are about to begin in Sochi, and to honor this occasion, we thought to would revisit some suggestions The Skwib has had for more exciting events in the spirit of the Games. (The spirit of the Games … Continue reading →