Mark A. Rayner's Blog: Mark A. Rayner's Goodreads Blog, page 146

How Anne of Green Gables Destroyed the World

"Like most of you I was inclined to say the war was caused by fish."

However, after a close examination of the evidence, Cadman Michaels — who held doctorates in theoretical physics and history, but who called himself an Alternate Historian — could say now with some confidence that the roots of World War III could be found in three things: beer, ice hockey and something called Tim Horton's coffee.

He could say this with some confidence. And he did.

"My extensive work in multi-universal...

Have it your way

Jessica McDonald had been on the run for most of her adult life, ever since she'd walked into the Burker Ging and asked for a "Sloppy Whopper." The Golden Arch Gestapo just didn't put up with that kind of betrayal. She'd fallen in with a rough crowd of C.H.U.D.s for a while, but she kept asking for fries with her homeless people, and they threw her out of the sewers.

Since then, she'd been living rough, eating derelicts by the old rail line.

Legend has it that after the screams die down...

Helping the constabulary with their inquiries

At first he fought he was nicked, didn'he?

He fought, "'allo, what's ol' bill comin' round me jam jar for?"

Then he learned, didn'he? Ol' Bill knew all about that Docta' Smif fellow, right? 'Ow 'e were always 'angin' around that little bugga' Will and 'is feckin' constant questions. "Wot's that robot? Are we lost robot? Can you open this can of spam robot?" Feckin' constant they were.

So, is just seemed natural to frame up that boy-hungry Docta', weren't it? In short, the plan were...

A moment of gritty reflection

Delores always liked to take a few moments between shows and get a little alone time. Of late the circus had been touring in the Southwest and they'd seen lots of desert. Delores liked the desert. It reminded her of home, where she got her show-name from, Sahara Sally, which to tell you the truth she preferred to her given name, which rhymed with a female body part, and which the other kids at Sahara Hills High had teased her about relentlessly.

Of course THAT had been preferable to what ...

Listen to Marvellous Hairy at Podiobooks.com

Release your inner monkey along with thousands of other listeners at Podiobooks.com.

Marvellous Hairy is being serialized at podiobooks.com, and you can find it here.

They say talent skips a generation

Vlastic Tesla was the illegitimate son of Nikola Tesla, inventor of the alternating current system, the induction motor, lightning rods, electro-mechanical oscillators, the Tesla coil, the Bifilar coil, robotics and the electronic logic gate, wireless technology, radio astronomy, the teleforce particle beam weapon, and known for his theoretical work in rotating magnetic fields, telegeodynamics, space data transmission systems, weather and climate modification and electrogravitics; and he was ...

Kiss long and prosper — Trek Yourself

Heh, a grand spoof of the new Trek "reboot" … if it had been made in the schlocky mode of an 80s high school movie: Trek Yourself, by the talented Dan Meth:

Special Features: Trek Yourself

You can find the video here if the EPS (embedded playing software) doesn't work properly.

Have a nice long weekend all!

Alltop and humor-blogs.com task me, and I shall have them. More Dan Meth here.

Stanley Kubrick Bloopers

You can always find the Kubrick kookiness here if you need a retake on the embedded video. Via the talented Dan Meth.

Alltop and humor-blogs.com still think Dr. Strangelove is Kubrick's best film.

The Marvellous Hairy Podcasts

As readers of The Skwib, you may be aware that I am also a novelist releasing his second work, Marvellous Hairy – a novel in five fractals. It's available direct from the publisher now, and in stores in October.

But I'm also podcasting this bad boy, and they are well underway. I'll be listing them all here, at iTunes, at Podiobooks.com (released soon) or you could check out the episodes on my writer's blog:

Part One, The Cult of the Claw

Episode One (chapters one and two)
Episode Two...

I want my mummy

Dr. Fleshrender had been trying to learn ancient Egyptian mummification techniques for years, but he'd yet to master even the most basic principles.

First of all, he just wasn't into all that yucky stuff with the internal organs and putting them in jars. Coptic (a feel, heh) or not.

Secondly, he found the mixture of soda ash, bicarbonate and household salt he was meant to bath his mummies in just unpleasant. Natron my ass, he'd mutter.

Thirdly, most of his volunteers did not want to have a...