Mark A. Rayner's Blog: Mark A. Rayner's Goodreads Blog, page 144

You've just been shagged by a rare ground parrot

Isn't that life? Some days you get the rare ground parrot and some days the rare ground parrot gets you.

Right in the neck.

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Stephen Fry is hilarious.

Alltop and humor-blogs.com tend to parrot one another.

The Blue Light, 2011

After his injury in the war, his leaders told the soldier, "thanks for your service, but we don't need you anymore." The soldier was sent home, without much help, or rehab, and no occupation, that was for sure. So he got work doing odd jobs for an economist; some days he'd dig holes, other days he'd pick up garbage at the side of the road and sell it to the economist; it was just enough to live on, but not enough to improve his situation.

Then one day the economist said, "I have this blue ...

The Carnival of Satire (#117)

Ah, the blog carnival. A venerable institution in web terms. And a zombie, if you want the truth. Some time ago I instituted a new policy: I will only accept submissions from a blog that was not written by the submitter. This has been massively successful, as it has allowed me to do whatever I want. Yay! Here is a smattering of worthy satire I collected in the last six weeks, month, hour and a half.

One of my favourite authors is Christopher Moore, and he's bloogin' now, like a...

Go Tuck (erize) Yourself!

Win a walk on role in my next novel, one of ten free copies of my new book Marvellous Hairy or take home a mystery item from my desk.

All you have to do is either:

join my Facebook fan page, or
join my mailing list, the MonkeySphere.

I promise not to spam you relentlessly, and in exchange, I'm going to give away ten copies of Marvellous Hairy, a THING from the contents of my desk, and a chance to appear in my next novel.

That's the Tuck(erize) part. Worried about what Tuckerization is all...

What's virgin mean?

Cute. Funny.

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Alltop and humor-blogs.com don't know what it means either.

Headline: The Annual Faculty-Student Mixer a Great Success

It was probably his imagination, but it seemed to the Don of Prancy Fairy College, Dennis Travesty, that admittance standards had been slipping of late. Just last term he'd had several complaints of werewolves, and then there was the vampire debacle at Convocation. (They were still cleaning up Poncy Hall.) No, he thought, it was just a bad run of luck. Could happen to anyone.

Maknor the Face Collector was just wondering what he was dancing with, and how it would taste later.

Alltop and

Forty-seven Signs of the Apocalypse (#37)

From the Book of iChronicles

And in this time the People shall become like unto the creatures that live in the Earth. The people shall share Tubes and they shall be intertwined, and lo, many will call them the Inter-Tubes and it shall please the people, though they are caught in a Web.

They will forget the Lord and instead, worship the Screen, and the Digit, and they shall share their wantonness thusly.

It shall pass that many of the People shall worship a False Prophet called Blue Bird. And t...

The Legend of Pokadot Joe

In the years before the Great Striping, the common people had a champion. Whenever injustice reared its linear head, Pokadot Joe was there to thump it with his curly-cue cudgel of curvy vengeance.

Mounted on his mighty steed, Dosage Twelve, Pokadot Joe made his meandering way across the land (always avoid straight stretches of road), keeping the Euclidean Overlords in a parabola of fear.

Nobody could keep him in line. Until his tragic end at the brick wall.

Alltop and humor-blogs.com think t...

The infinite monkey theorem

Here's a bit more podcasting goofiness. Over at Podioracket, a site that promotes books and authors who are podcasting their writing at Podiobooks.com, they are holding a promotional contest, in which authors are invited to write and record … promos.

Being the branding whore that I am, I decided to make my entry flow with the whole Marvellous Hairy monkey aesthetic. You can listen here, if the embedded player doesn't work for some reason.

Alltop and humor-blogs.com are living proof of this...

And now for something completely different: talking animals

Video of animals. Funny British voices. What's not to like?

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Alltop and humor-blogs.com are Allen and Steve. Thanks to Andy Poole for posting this to his Facebook page.