Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 507

March 28, 2012: Shooting the horror trailer!

Former Stargate Special Features Producer Ivon Bartok is helming the trailer that will accompany my horror script when it eventually goes out.  He's been at it for weeks now – shooting, sourcing, editing.  The trailer, as envisioned, breaks down into five section (and subsequent sub-sections) and we've got two of four done.  Of course, depending on how things come along, we may not use every planned sequence so it's important to see how things cut together.  As Ivon has gone along, assembling the footage, I've offered him notes and we've bounced ideas back and forth.  I think it's looking great but the most challenging sequences await.  Ivon is still looking for the perfect location.

Welcome to set

The crew

Hey, it's that guy from Stargate!

On the script front, got some notes from Rob who readily admitted he's not a big fan of the genre (or sub-genre to be more precise since the horror category is fairly general).  I'm going to try to address them over the next couple of days and, ideally, get the script off to my agent(s) before the weekend.  And, after that, it'll be smooooooooooooth sailing!

Great feedback from our U.S. agent on Paul's pilot script.  Now it's just a matter of deciding when to go out with it.

Apparently, that's not the only decision in our not too distant future. Our agent asked Paul if we would be interested in staffing on an existing show.  Paul (who I suspect is going a little stir crazy at home) told him he'd be interested but couldn't speak on my behalf.  For my part, I'm…undecided.  And pretty damn comfortable working from home.  Accepting a staff position would mean moving to Los Angeles, something I'm not sure I'm prepared to do.  I suppose it would depend on the show.

Also today, Paul and I pitched out our vision for that horror television series.  The ball is in their court.

March 27, 2012: Pugs on the Beach!

With the warm(ish) weather upon us, I decided to treat the gang to a morning at the beach.  Coincidentally, the last Sunday of every month is Pugs at the Beach so it worked out perfectly – minus the biting wind and fact that only about a dozen pugs showed.

Bubba, impatient as always, couldn't wait to get out of the damn car and hit the sand -

Like I said – about a dozen pugs in all.  I'm sure that once the weather warms up, the turnout will be better.  Still, Jelly, Bubba, and Lulu didn't seem to mind -

Lulu charged around, harassing the big dogs and their sticks.

Bubba stuck close to Akemi and I. Big chicken.

Don't know this dogs name. I called her Bootsy.

In addition to harassing the other dogs, Lulu made it a point to sniff out ever bag and purse for treat, and then help herself to some loving by parking herself beside (and on top of) unwitting victims.

Jelly, despite being 13 and hobbled by bad hips, couldn't resist trying to get into the action whenever the big dogs tussled -

One of the big dog owners felt so bad for her that, after getting knocked down for the twelfth time, Jelly got a lift.

Ashleigh and James showed with their pug, L'Eau.  An seemingly endless parade of dogs approached Ashleigh to say hi – and pee near her.  Not quite sure what to make of that.

Lulu helps herself to Ashleigh's lap.

Bubba and Ashleigh = hot couple. James was soooooo jealous.

 L'Eau moved so quickly I could barely keep up with her -

Ashleigh and James, dressed for the weather - unlike Akemi who wore flip-flops and froze her toes.

Jelly is done and ready for the ride home. Right after getting a lift to the car.

Tagged: french bulldog, pugs

March 26, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club Reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Batman (1989)!

Finally, a supermovie dat not completely suck.  Only partz involving wet noodle main charakters, a butler who can't keep a sekret, and bad guyz dancing to Prince.

Movie star wit family lost in big city.  Dad say he know where dey going.  Yeh. Me know too.  Straight to Hell!  He lead dem down desserted alley where dey beaten and robbed. Tanks, dad!  But robberz not get far.  Batman make grand entrance like he Phantom of da Opera, ruff dem up, and call it a night.

It turn out cool, tough Batman really skinny lame Michael Keaton Bruce Wayne. Monster not like dis bit of casting.  Batman not all about de soot and bat shark repellent.  It about de man under de soot who aktually real hard and tough like Animal in his MMA dayz or Christian Bale yelling at direktor of photography.

Milktoasty is adjektive?

Love interest in movie not dat interesting at all.  Vicky Vale about as eggciting as bag of low calorie shortbread cookies.

Vicky Vale = de steamed halibut of Batman charakters

But dats okay becuz villain in movie make up for both boring charakters.  Jack start off as bad guy working for Curly Washburn but have affair wit girlfrend of boss and end up set up at chemikal plant.  Police arrive!  Den Commishuner Gordon arrive! Den Batman arrive!  Jack fall into vat of chemikals!  And nobody bodder to fish him out. Monster not sure know why not.  Mebbe it a union ting.  Anyway, when everyone leave, Jack crawl out of chemikal vat.  He transformed into…Joker!  Green hair!  Pancake make-up!  Way too much lipstick!  Scary?  Not really.  He just look like ladiez night regular at Sesame Street Pub.

Jack Nickelson tear it up on de golf course AND onscreen.

He consolidate power over udder crime lordz.  He kill dem with joy buzzerz and fedders.  He poison beauty and Hi Gene! produktz so dat everybody scared to use. Newscasterz end up looking like weekend Groverz.

When Joker start dancing to Prince, monster reddy to call it a movie.

Joker fantastik villain.  Very impressive.  Until he show up at muzeum and start dancing to Prince.  Prince?!  Twenty years ago mebbe dis seem like good idea.  Now, it just painful to watch.  Joker kidnap Vicky Vale.  Monster tink he could do better. Batman tink so too becuz he show up and take Vicky away in bitchin' Batmobile.

Sweet ride.

For some reazon, Bruce Wayne decide he in love wit Vicky after two dates.  He wrestle with wedder to tell her he Batman.  Den Joker show up at her apartment. Bruce Wayne dare him to shoot him.  But not in de head.  Only in de chest exaktly where he hide metal tray to deflekt bullet.  Joker shoot him.  Not in the de head. Only in de chest exaktly where Bruce hide metal tray to deflekt bullet.  Luckeeeeee! For some reazon, before he shoot Bruce, Joker say silly line.  He claim he always say dis silly line before he kill somebody.  Really?  He not say it any udder time in movie. Why important?  Turn out it lame plot device to remind Bruce of night his parentz killed – by man who use same line!  Yes!  Joker killed Bruce Waynez parentz! What a coinsidents!  A lame, lame coinsidents!

While Bruce being all mopey, Alfred bring Vicky into batcave.  What de Fudgeoo?  Old coot suddenly start giving tours of bat cave now witout permishun?  ("Over on right is bat computer where Batman, aka Bruce Wayne, search for bad guyz.  Over on left is Batmobile dat Batman, aka Bruce Wayne, drive around in.  And we walking.  We walking.  Say, did me mention Batman really Bruce Wayne?").  How dis idiot still have a job?!

Joker trow parade.  More dancing to Prince.  :(

Stoopid people rush to Joker for cash – and death.  But Batman arrive.

It's de Phantom - er - Batman!

Dis all lead to most unsatisfying final battle in movie history.  Batman in super batsuit vs. bad guys.  Batman beat dem all.  Yawn.  Joker try to fight him.  No match for super batsuit.  Yawn.

De most anti-cimactik climaks

Joker fall off building.  But not dead!  Manage to turn tablez on Batman and Vicky. He try to get away – but Batman murder him with batarang and handy gargoyle. Just as well for dis monster.  Me not like prospekt of possible sekwell wit Joker dancing to Sheila E. or Appolonia.

Verdikt: Monster appreciate any film dat me not have to take Zanax to sit thru!

Rating: 7 out of 10 chocolate chippee cookies.

Pleaze disckuss!

Today's entry is dedicated to anniefromfreemantle.  Condolences.

Tagged: Cookie Monster Movie Review, Cookie Monster reviews Batman (1989), SuperMovie of the Week Club

March 25, 2012: Last Dinner at Refuel!

This was the message that greeted diners on Refuel's final night of service last evening.  Akemi and I showed up for our 6:00 p.m. reservation to find the place packed.  We were greeted by the friendly staff, then welcomed by the ever-affable Katherine who informed us it would be a big curtain closer on account of the restaurant's many regulars who, liked myself, had booked one final blowout meal.  As a special thank you, Chef Jane and the staff had apparently prepared a few farewell surprises…

Like these cromesquis - deep-fried crunchy on the outside, a delicious foie gras liquid center hidden within. Refuel and Montreal's Au Pied de Cochon are the only places I've ever sampled these sinful little morsels.

Speaking of foie gras - an addition to the menu saw it pan-fried with sweet sun-dried Cascade tomatoes served atop a toasted brioche.

One of Akemi's all-time favorite dishes one last time: Lemon Herb Risotto with albacore tuna tartare.

I was torn between the ribeye and the crispy duck but ultimately opted for a special menu addition: the melt-in-your-mouth rolled confit pork belly rack accompanied by a potato puree and crispy Brussel sprouts. Unreal!

For dessert - as Akemi pointed out, what boy is going to say no to peanut butter, in this case, Refuel's signature Peanut & Chocolate Parfait with honeycomb and vanilla ice cream.

And that was that.  Our final meal at a place that had become my home away from home these past five years.  Akemi had only known it two (one of which we spent in Toronto) but was nevertheless upset by the fact that it had been taken out of our dining rotation.   She went through the three stages of Japanese grief -

Shock.

Boozing.

Disbelief and slightly buzzed.

I finally talked her down to acceptance.  But she wasn't happy about it.

Chef Jane doing what she does best.

Before leaving, I got two bottle's of the restaurant's best wine and gifted them as a goodbye gift to the staff and kitchen crew (minus my modest two glass cut).

Here's hoping our plates cross again in the not too distant future!

Tagged: Refuel restaurant

March 24, 2012: Dogs eating ice cream!

The sun is out, spring is in full bloom, and that can only mean one thing.  It's THAT time of year, time for…DOGS EATING ICE CREAM:

Tagged: dogs eating ice cream

March 23, 2012: Needy pugs! A beautiful partnership! And Happy Belated International Macaron Day!

"Nothing ruins a dog walk like a hole in a poopy bag." - Me, yesterday.

Back when we first moved to Vancouver twelve years ago, we looked into adopting a pug from a local pug rescue, but the process proved so difficult and time-consuming that we gave up and went the breeder route instead.  And it's a good thing we did because we ended up with Maximus, one of the sweetest, most well-behaved, easy-going dogs you could ever imagine.  Now that Maximus is gone, I've considered getting another dog, specifically, an English Bulldog puppy who would , no doubt, make a welcome addition to the pack.  The more I think about it, however, the more I wonder if it might not be better to adopt an older pug in need of a good home. After all, I do have a good home and given the meds and special care I already dispense, would one more needy furball make that much of a difference?

So just the other day, I was discussing my writing/producing partnership and how, over the course of our working relationship, we've each taken it upon ourselves to take the lead on certain projects.  Dark Matter, for instance, was my baby, a project I developed on my own before eventually turning over to Paul for notes, thoughts, and continued development.  Well, yesterday, I read the first draft of a pilot script Paul wrote, based on a series idea HE'S been developing on his own.  And it was terrific.  Now you may think I'm biased and maybe I am, but it would really be in my better professional interests to report that  the script was "just okay" or "good" at best, that way I could weigh in with my notes and ultimately lay claim to some contribution that made it "terrific".  But while I did have some notes, I'm afraid I have to report that the script was pretty damn spectacular.  I opened up the file he sent, planning to read the script in installments, but when I started, I ended up reading it straight through.  See, this is one of those instances where having a writing partner comes in handy (the other being when you're trying to wrestle a production assistant to the ground for that last slice of cheesecake).

International Macaron Day was March 20th.  How could I have missed it?  I mean it's not like it was one of those silly made-up observances like International Literacy Day or International Human Rights Day.  How DOES the U.N. come up with some of these commemorative events?  Okay, okay.  International World Health Day  I get. Even International World Environment Day.  But International Mountain Day?   International Book and Copyright?  How did you mark International Day for the Preservation of the Ozone Layer?  Did you curtail your use of hairspray?  And what, pray tell, did you get your local weather man for International Meteorological Day?  I don't know, but International Children's Day and International Youth Day strikes me as dangerously close to double-dipping.  And what's the deal with United Nations Public Service Day?  What exactly are they doing the other 364 days of the year? Oh, and just so you know, May 17th is World Information Society Day.

But where was I?  Oh, yeah.  International Macaron Day.  I ended up celebrating two days late by checking out a (fairly) new macaron shop: Soirette Macarons & Tea. It's one of the many, MANY places in the city now serving the meringue and buttercream/ganache treats.  I've been doing my research and would like to offer my two cents on the quality of the various offerings:

SOIRETTTE MACARONS & TEA

A mixed bag – but so it is with most every macaron shop I've visited including Jean-Paul Hevin.  Most of the macarons were airy and delicious (the Guinness comes to mind) while a few were too similar in flavor and a tad chewy.  Overall, however, pretty good.

TERRA BREADS

Chewy, the buttercream in some hadn't properly set resulting in a greasy texture. One flavor was advertised as Early Grey even though it was clearly combined with some other fruit flavor.  We asked the woman behind the counter for clarification and she insisted it was Earl Grey.  As it turned out, Earl Grey and blackcurrant (I think).

LA BAGUETTE ET L'ECHALOTE

Another mixed bag but, alas, not all that great.  Some good, some overly sweet.

BEL CAFE

Smaller than some of the other versions I've had in town and they only offer about a half dozen flavors, but they do a very nice job with their macarons.

THIERRY CHOCOLATERIE PATISSERIE CAFE

Hugely popular no doubt thanks to its location and dining area but I was surprised at how underwhelming the macarons were here.  I assumed I'd caught them on a bad day and tried again – twice – and still came away unimpressed.

GANACHE PATISSERIE

Okay but, clearly, macarons are not their main focus.  Stick with their superior cakes.

THE URBAN TEA MERCHANT

Shipped from France, they come in an variety of intriguing tea-based flavors.  Intense.  A little goes a long way.

THOMAS HAAS FINE CHOCOLATES AND PATISSERIE

Have to give credit where credit is due – the macarons here are pretty damn consistent in flavor and texture.

URBAN FARE

Meh.  I've heard that since the last time I sampled some here, they've started carrying Kitchen with Carly macarons.

STUART'S BAKERY

Below average.  Macarons are not their forte but I hear good things about some of their other desserts.

MEINHARDT FINE FOODS

Another meh.

INDULGENCE DESSERTS

Limited flavors but very good.  Also check out their ice cream sandwiches!

KITCHENING WITH CARLY

Also quite good but I can only find them frozen.

There are still a few places I need to check out including French Made Baking, Plaisir Sucre, and Cafe Regalade.

Tagged: macarons, Pug Rescue, pugs

March 22, 2012: Top 10 Natsukashii T.V. Themes!

The Japanese have  a word: "natsukashii".  There's no direct English equivalent but the closest I can come up with is "nostalgia", a fond remembrance of things past.  They say that smell is one of the biggest memory triggers – which is why I dedicate a different cologne to each chapter of my life: John Varvatos Vintage for my visits to Japan, Tuscany by Aramis for Montreal, Boss Pure by Hugo Boss was my last season on SGU, Le Male by Jean-Paul Guathier was last year in Toronto (may I never smell it again).  Sight is an obvious trigger as is taste (nothing takes me back to my youth like a spoonful of Nutella), but one sense that is oft-overlooked is sound.  Nothing says summer evenings sitting in the backyard with my parents like the symphony of mosquitoes sparking against a bug-zapper punctuated by the occasional extended sizzle of a nice juicy moth.  But for a real flashback to my youth, it has to be those old t.v. themes that carry me right back to those Saturday mornings I would wake up early to watch a cavalcade of cartoons or those weekday lunches when my sister and I would come home from school to smoked meat sandwiches or Kentucky Fried Chicken.  These, ladies and gentlemen, are my Top 10 Natsukashii T.V. Themes:

THE BANANA SPLITS

Sure, in retrospect the characters are kind of creepy, but at the time they were infinitely cooler than those earnest know-it-alls on Sesame Street.  They make great use of this theme in an ultra-violent sequence in Kick-Ass.

SCOOBY DOO

I think the show went through a bunch of theme songs, but this was the one that would greet me every Saturday morning.  I'd wake up just before 8:00 a.m. so that I could be downstairs in time to catch the first in the long line of cartoons.  The earlier shows were always the best and, as the morning would wind down, the animated offerings would give way to those Sid and Marty Krofft puppet shows I could never get into.

THE FLINTSTONES

Every weekday during our elementary school years, my sister and I would walk home for lunch.  While my father played cribbage with his boss, we'd go downstairs to eat our smoked meat sandwiches (or Kentucky Fried Chicken with Bubble-Up!) and sit through Max the 2000 Year Old Mouse (a brief necessary evil) to get to The Flintstones.  This show was such a cornerstone of my childhood that I took the later watered-down remakes – and, worse, the live action films – as a personal insult.

SPIDERMAN

What the hell were these guys on when they made this show? Extended still frames, endlessly recycled crowd sequences, and hallucinogenic backgrounds all accompanied by a cool Jazz score – it was altogether bizarre and I loved it growing up.  "Welcome friend, he's a yorg"?  "Action is his reward."  My writing partner Paul enlightened me once but I can't remember.

GILLIGAN'S ISLAND

This was must-see viewing in the late afternoon hours between our return home from school and dinner.  Even at a young age, I recall being outraged by the fact that, in the original version of the opening theme, they couldn't even be bothered to mention the professor and Mary-Anne, running through the other characters and then lumping them into "and the rest".  The rest?!  The guy made a radio out of coconut shells for godsake!

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GET SMART

Unlike Gilligan's Island, this is a show that still holds up for me. Someday, I'm going to sit down to a marathon viewing of the entire series.  Who's in?

BATMAN

This show was the only bright spot in the otherwise bleak landscape that was Sunday morning television.  I used to wake up extra early to watch back to back episodes from 7:30 to 8:30 before the channel gave way to morning ministries and reruns of old Westerns.  While the new Batman movies are certainly an improvement over what came before, the Adam West version remains my favorite.

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL

After watching football all day Sunday (and I do mean ALL DAY – FROM THE 11:30 pre-game show to the final seconds of the Sunday night game), I'd go to school and then, after dinner, do my homework – while watching Monday Night Football.  It didn't matter what loomed the next day – an exam, a presentation, the deadline for a paper – it all took a back seat to MNF.  I include two opening themes here, both great, as is the one by Hank Williams Jr. and the new one by Faith Hill.  And, yes, now that you mention it, I AM ready for some football.

HOGAN'S HEROES

Another part of the weekday afternoon line-up, I absolutely loved this show as a kid.  I'm not sure why, but I think a lot of it had to do with that lovable Sergeant Schultz.  One of my biggest pet peeves growing up was not knowing what happened to him after the war.  I liked to think that Hogan put in a good word for him and he ended up living out the rest of his days peacefully somewhere in Austria.

STAR TREK

Come on.  Did you actually think it wouldn't make the list?  Next to being stranded on a deserted island with Ginger and Mary-Anne, I couldn't think of a better life than going on that five year mission.

Okay, now it's your turn.  What are your top natsukashii t.v. themes?

Tagged: old t.v. themes, t.v. themes

March 21, 2012: A mini Stargate reunion! Last lunch at Refuel! NFL update! Sucker Punch! AND a mailbag!

Another Stargate mini-reunion of sorts the other night.  I got the chance to catch up with some old friends over nachos and ale, several of whom you'll no doubt recognize from such places as twitter, Stargate behind-the-scenes features, and this very blog.

My former arch-nemesis, Ashleigh, and my former lodger, Lawren, having an awesome time.

Mark Savela, Jennifer Johnson, and Kerry McDowall.

Ivon Bartok and Mike Banas P.I.

It's good to hear everybody's keeping busy – but hopefully not too busy because when I get my next show off the ground, I'll of course expect them to drop whatever they're doing to come work for me.

One of my favorite restaurants in Vancouver closes its doors March 24th and, although Refuel will be no more, its sister restaurants Campagnolo, Campagnolo Roma, and the soon to open Fat Dragon, will live on.  Today, Akemi and I dropped by for a final lunch at our former stomping/eating grounds.  For her, a rocket salad and soup.  For me, a burger.  And not just any burger…

Hand-ground dry-aged Alberta beef with cheddar cheese, bacon, and home made mayo (Oh, and I had mine topped with an onion ring) - served medium-rare.

Wait!  Did you say "served medium-rare"?  Why, yes.  You can read about it here: Medium-rare burgers are taboo in Canada but may not be as ….  You have two more days to try one.  Refuel's last dinner service is this Saturday.

Akemi enjoys a fry.

Wow.  Lots happening in the NFL over the past few days.  My thoughts on -

The Broncos signing Peyton Manning = Good luck to them.  He's coming off multiple neck surgeries and, even before going under the knife, wasn't exactly playing great football.  Was it a problem addressed by the surgeries or was it the telltale erosion of skills over time?  Hey, anything is an improvement at the QB position for this team but, even in a best case scenario, Manning will have his work cut out for him given the quality of his new divisional opponents.  He'll no longer be throwing against the likes of the Bills or Dolphins D.  He'll be up against the always tough San Diego Chargers and the improving Raiders and Chiefs.  If I was a Broncos fan, I wouldn't be making those Superbowl plans just yet.

Tebow to the New York Jets = I actually think New York is the perfect home for him – somewhere he won't threaten the established QB by competing for the position yet a place that will allow him to see some limited action. He's got a long way to go and backing up someone like Mark Sanchez is a perfect opportunity to improve on his suspect quarterback skills.

Saints suspensions = While I agree that punishments were warranted for the bounty program that rewarded players for injuring opponents, I feel that suspending head coach Sean Payton for a year is way too harsh a penalty.  My misgivings stem not so much from my opinion of what they did than from the fact that many other teams have (or had) the same mercenary policy, whether unspoken or otherwise – but only the Saints got caught. It's like an article I read the other day about a couple of neighborhood gas stations being fined for price fixing.  My response was: "Great!  Now let's go after every other neighborhood gas station!".  Believe me, it's no coincidence that all the local gas prices seem to fluctuate in tandem.  Whenever the price skyrockets, they say: "Hey, the price of oil just spiked.  It's not our fault."  Then, when the price of oil goes down and they're asked why the prices at the pump remain steady, they say: "Hey, it takes a while for the lower costs to work their way through the system."  In other words, instantaneous when the price goes up but anywhere from  two weeks to never when the price drops.

Finally got around to watching Sucker Punch this morning.  Tsk tsk tsk. And I was so looking forward to it too.  (SPOILER WARNING)  Talk about depressing.  I disliked this movie for the same reason I disliked Brazil – almost the exact seem reason given that the set-up seemed to be an homage. In Brazil, our protagonist is about to be lobotomized when he is rescued.  He embarks on an adventure, battling against his oppressors until the narrative is pulled out from underneath the viewer and we cut back to the lobotomy session and realize everything we just witnessed was in the mind of our now lobotomized hero.  In Sucker Punch, our heroine is about to undergo a lobotomy at which point we – well, I'm not sure.  We're flashing back and witnessing the grim events of the institution play out in some alternate fantasy version.  If that' s not confusing enough, this movie commits the egregious error of doing fantasy sequences within fantasy sequences.  Ultimately, we come back to the lobotomy session and learn that some real-world version of the events we witnessed did happen, but it's still lights out for our heroine who is now a vegetable. The visuals are spectacular, the battle choreography incredible, and yet the movie ends up a bleak, troubling, and ultimately unsatisfying exercise of wasted potential.

Mailbag:

Tam Dixon writes: "Would you eat chicken feet with a smile? Could you?"

Answer: Yep.  Have had them at dim sum.  Not much meat to them. And, uh, Jeff – you're not supposed to eat the toenails.

Sue Jackson writes: "I've eaten was alligator. It's not bad…and it does taste like chicken."

Answer: I found it closer to veal or frog legs.

JimFromJersey writes: "But last summer I did eat pigs brain as I was carving the deliciously wood-fired oven roasted sucker down for a party.It was "meh". I didn't much enjoy the texture, and it was very metallic tasting."

Answer: Actually, I don't mind the texture, especially when fried so you have the nice textural contrast of the crispy exterior and creamy interior.  But the metallic aftertaste you mentioned IS a turnoff.

Ponytail writes: "Everytime I make a peanut butter and bologna sandwich with mustard, I recognize I'm a little odd."

Answer: Okay not, that IS odd.

Quade writes: "I recently picked up The Walking Dead Compendium 1, and while I wasn't blown away by the art, the story is definetly keeping me interested. It's surprising how unparallel the show has become since the first two or three episodes."

Answer: Yes, they're two separate entities – which is great because it allows you to double your fun by following two different versions of the same concept.

Vincent Messager writes: "Shall you still dream to create an end to it, I recommend you look for money outside US as the ROW (rest of the world), I am sure, really enjoyed SGU and probably more open minded than US viewers. Canal Plus for example ?"

Answer: All roads go through the studio that owns the rights to the Stargate franchise – MGM.  If they're interested in pursuing a continuation of the series, it'll happen.  If they're not interested, it won't happen.  The notion that SGU went off the air because we didn't have enough money to continue produce the series is a false one.

Janet writes: "My Mum and family and the house are fine. If the storm took a detour North-west, they would have been right in it."

Answer: Good to hear.  It's been some crazy weather.

Line Noise: "Why were countries firing live nuclear weapons!?!?!?!?!"

Answer: Y'know, now that you mention it, that's a hell of a good point.  I assume this isn't common practice.

Line Noise also writes: "Why does Supes care if there's nuclear armageddon? He can just fly around the Earth really fast and turn back time, can't he?"

Answer: Yes.  If the first Superman movie taught us anything, it's that anything that happens in the Superman franchise has absolutely no consequence because it can all be undone.

DP writes: "I don't think the subway is still safe just because Superman said so – I live in a world w/o Superman. What happens when the operator passes out in MY world?"

Answer: I love how Superman suddenly becomes a medical expert on exiting the front of the subway.  "He'll be okay,"he tells the cops, referring to the operator who passed out.  "He may need to see a doctor."  You think?!

Deborah Rose writes: "And since when do you get dna from hair cuttings? follicles, yes. But not the ends of the hair."

Answer: Imagine how much more powerful a clone he could have created with the proper genetic sample?

gforce writes: "I thought the effects in the opening sequence were actually pretty good and gave me some hope. However, apparently they blew their entire budget there. Because the rest were pretty much… ew."

Answer: In all honesty, I felt the same way.  The opening sequence, while silly, did give me some hope – which was immediately crushed with the introduction of the John Cryer character and ensuing sequence.

gforce also writes: "Ultimately, what's so disappointing is that there is the idea of a much better movie in there somewhere."

Answer: So it was with every one of the Superman movies – so much wasted potential.

gforce also writes: "What I was hoping for was that once Superman rid the world of the weapons, he would come to realize that the nations didn't necessarily WANT peace, he realizes that the basic problem of why the weapons are there hasn't been solved at all, and humanity themselves must solve the problem."

Answer: Yeah, that WOULD have been great.

Kathode writes: "When countries fire off their nukes, Supe catches them and redirects them to his giant Nuke Net in space. Once it's filled, he hurls it into the Sun. End of nukes. Wait a minute! Why were those countries firing off their nukes in the first place? Do countries normally go around firing nuclear missiles into space? Isn't the usual protocol to stockpile your nukes underground, waiting for the day you hope will never come? Shhhshhhshhhh…."

Answer: It does seem a tad wasteful.  I guess that's why they're so damn expensive.

Kathode also writes: "There's a really bizarre scene in Lex's penthouse just before the introduction of Nuclear Man. Jon Cryer's listening to his Walkman, and Lex is dancing with some woman dressed in 18th-century French garb, a la Marie Antoinette, complete with the ginormous white powdered wig. What's going on there? Is this some sort of kinky prostitution gig? Did Lex hire an 18th-century-France-themed hooker???"

Answer: Haven't a clue.  Let's chalk it up to good ole supervillain eccentricity.

Kathode also writes: "Then after Supe gets his powers back, he just happens to show up at the foot of the Empire State Building right when Nuke shows up, looking for Lacy. And Nuke asks, "Where is she?" And Superman magically knows what he's talking about. Supe obviously read the script. That, or he's psychic. But why does Nuke show up at the Empire State Bldg looking for Lacy? He LIVES in that building! It's where Lex's penthouse is. If there's one building in Metropolis where he should know Lacy isn't, it's that one. Why doesn't this showdown happen at the Daily Planet building?"

Answer: In most other movies, I would complain about the fact that they focus all their attention on the spectacular visual effects and completely ignore the  most important part of the production – the damn script! – but in this movie they were equal opportunity ignorers.  The script was horrendous and those visual effects…yeesh.

mayankgureja writes: "Let me start off by saying you're one of the reasons why I got back into writing, after having left it a few years ago to pursue other interests. You made me realize that I actually missed it, and I'm starting to pursue a few publish-worthy pieces!"

Answer: Nice to hear.  Keep at it!

Maryanne writes: "I haven't seen a mention of March Madness here this year. Are you not participating Joe?"

Answer: I didn't join a pool this year so my interest is somewhat muted.  Still, rooting for Cincinnati, Xavier, Marquette, Michigan State, Baylor, NC State, and Ohio, and rooting against Kentucky, North Carolina, Kansas, Ohio State

slamaina writes: "Any chance you will be making an appearance at the last Vancouver Stargate Con?"

Answer: Nope.  Know nothing about it.

paloosa writes: "And what happened to the listing of the months on the right side of the blog? My computer is slow, and it was so easy to click on it to catch up."

Answer: Just click on the archives and scroll down.

Ponytail writes: "Hey Joe, if you can say, which main characters in Dark Matter were your creation and which ones were Paul's?"

Answer: I developed Dark Matter on my own for several years (characters, story, arcs, etc.) and wrote a first draft of the script.  Paul did the rewrite and helped to redevelop some of the existing material.  I took the lead on Dark Matter.  He took the lead on another project he's been working on – a pilot script that I'll be reading tonight.

March 20, 2012: Odd Eats!

What's the oddest thing you've eaten recently?  Now when I say odd, I'm talking about odd "to you".  For instance, some of the food I've eaten over the course of my travels to Asia would be considered odd by many while I would consider the same items singular at worst. Whether its lamb neck, sea urchin, or deep-fried chicken joints, one person's only-on-a-dare is another person's exotic favorite.  Sure, I may have considered any of the aforementioned decidedly odd the first time I tried them but they've since made the transition to unique but perfectly acceptable menu items as culinarily legitimate as, say, a spicy tuna roll or a hot dog with ketchup (considered sacrilege by many Westerners, I actually share this Japanese affinity).

You'll usually find the pig ear somewhere between the tripe and the pig's feet.

So when it comes to offering up my oddest recent food entry, I'd have to skip the shaved pig ear salad (that I get every time I'm at my local Chinese supermarket because it's so damn good) and go with the cherimoya, a fruit I picked up on a lark the last time I visited Whole Foods.  I'll sometimes do this whenever I'm feeling particularly brave, pick up some as-yet-untested item from the produce aisle and bring it home for a sampling.  Given my general disdain for fruit, I consider this much more challenging than giving something like cod sperm or chicken sashimi a go.

As soon as I returned home, I googled cherimoya and learned that it is also known by its nickname, the ice cream fruit (which boded well for this culinary explorer).  It's flavor has been described as a cross between banana and pineapple, two fruit I actually enjoy (the latter maybe less so because I think I may be allergic).  Google also directed me to videos of individuals demonstrating the proper way to eat a cherimoya, including one clip of some skeevy-looking dude scooping the fruit into his mouth and spitting the seeds out onto the table in front of him.  In retrospect, I'd recommend checking out the countless written how-to guides instead – especially if you're planning to put the advice into immediate practice.

It seemed straightforward enough so I cut my cherimoya in half and dug in.

The verdict?  Good.  Damn good.  Actually, downright delicious.  Yes, definitely a banana-pineapple flavor with a buttery texture, Akemi felt, akin to avocado.  And very sweet – which was a turn-off for Akemi but a big plus in my books.  The only drawback are all the seeds which, while easy enough to remove, take a while to fully separate out because there are so many of them.  Yes, I suppose I could have just popped a spoonful into my mouth and spat the seeds onto the table like the guy in the video, but I generally don't eat fruit on its own.  I usually incorporate it into my breakfast shake: a banana, some almond milk, about a tablespoon of flaxseed oil, a tablespoon of unsweetened peanut butter, a little protein powder, a touch of matcha, a handful of berries (either blueberry or blackberry), and a free agent fruit be it a papaya, pear, or, in this morning's case, a cherimoya.  The results were spectacular:

I prefer my shakes so thick I can eat them with a spoon.

Now that is greener than green!

So there you have it.  I tried something new and was richly rewarded – something to consider the next time you're served something "odd", gifted a sky diving class, or offered the opportunity to invest in a surefire can't-fail get-rich-quick scheme!

Okay.  Over to you.  What's the oddest thing you've eaten recently?

Tagged: cherimoya, Odd Eats

March 19, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Superman IV: The Quest for Peace!

Wow.   Superman IV VERY impressive.  It achieve someting not even General Zodd and Leks Luthor able to do = kill off Superman.  After dis movie, Hollywood say: "Okay.  Time for Superman V!" and audiencez everywhere say: "Aaah, don't bodder.  We good.  Tanks."  And Superman go to sleep for twenty years until someone else get crack at putting him to sleep again.

I hope comrade brought change of space pantz.

Movie start in space where Soviet space station take direkt hit from orbital junk.  But Superman arrive, cape flapping in de solar wind, and save de day.  Den, he change back into Clark and visit farm in Smallville where he hide space capsule from Kripton.  He learn about extra special power source dat can only be used once.  Monster wonder: "Why we just learning about dis power source now?"  File dis one away for future referents.

Clark play catch wit real estate broker.  Pretend he crappy at sportz (becuz he nerd – duh!), but when real estate broker leave, he hit baseball so hard it fly into space (and, monster like to tink, into Soviet space station dat plummet back down to Earth).

Back at work, Clark find out Daily Planet have new owner who want to turn paper into tabloyd.  New owner also have daughter, Lacey, who want to turn Clark into her own nerdy sexclusive!  Oh, and Amerika and Russia almost going to nooklear war.  So little boy write to Superman and ask him to do someting about it.  After all, he Superman!

Meanwile, Leks Luthor eskape from prison wit help of annoying nephew played by Jon Crier.  Dey decide to make Superman clone.  But where to get gentikal sample?  Well, luckily Superman stoopid enuf to give Metropolis Museum sample of his own hair for display purposez. Guggenheim, insidentally, have his collection of nail clippings and De Hermitage have hiz very impressive super stool sample after dinner at Olive Garden (it far but worth trip!).  Anyway, dey settle for hair.

Budget kind of tight. Let's re-use same sekwence from first movie. It not make sense? Dats okay. We just pretend it never happen.

At about dis point in movie, plot stops for completely useless scene where Clark take Lois hand and jump off building.  Den – surprize her by turning into Superman!  Luckily she not have heart attack or shit her pantz.  He fly her around.  At one point, he let go – and she flying too!  How possible?  Me dunno.  Power of love?  Superman take Lois back to apartment, kiss her, and den use his "powerz of make people forget tings" to  make her forget everyting dat just happened.  Huh? Monster tink me alredy seen dis movie!

Superman visit UN to outlaw nooklear weapons. And crocs.

Superman decide what best for world, visit UN and say he going to get ride of nookes.  He gather dem all up in giant net and trow dem into sun.  Kablooey!

Leks take advantage.  He hide speshul genetikal experiment in missile and den show up at testing range disguized as General (apparently dats all you have to do to get access to top sekret site = dress up like a general).  Monster wonder: Why U.S. testing nooklear missile when it obvious Superman will just trow it into sun?  Also, why necessary for Leks to show up at missile range dressed as general?  Also, why me still watching dese louzy moviez?  Sad to say monster have no good answerz.

Behold...Mullet Man!

Missile lunched!  Superman arrive and trow into sun.  Genetikal experiment use power of sun and give birth to… Mullet Man!!!  He have power of beootiful hair, long radioactive fingernails, and ability to speak perfekt English.

Clark and Superman, meanwile, keeping buzy both trying to be at same place at same time.  Superman fly out window and change into Clark who on way into elevator but get taken out by baggage kart (?) den change into Superman and fly back up, etc.  Dis scene have potenshul but never any good reazon given why Clark and Superman HAVE to be at Lois apartment at same time.  Anyway, hijinks interrupted by Leks who lure Superman to ambush.

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

Superman vs. Mullet Man!  FIGHT!!!  Mullet Man destroy Great Wall of China!  Superman rebuild using his speshul bricklaying eye beams! Mullet Man trigger volcano!  Superman cap it wit top of udder mountain!  Mullet Man drop Statue of Liberty on people!  Superman catch it and put it back!  Den, Mullet Man use his radioactive nailz to scratch Superman and kick him away.

He scratch yer eyez out!!!

What going on?  Superman gone?  Clark dying of radiashun poizoning! But it turn out cure for radiashun poizoning iz pep talk from Lois. Oh, and power source introduced at beginning of movie.

Aaaah! Nice, fresh space air!

Superman back!  Superman vs. Mullet round two!  Dey fight!  Mullet Man try to hurt innosent bystanderz!  Superman use his telekinesiz powerz to save dem (yep, he have dose too.  For dis movie anyway). Dey fight on de moon.  Mullet Man kidnap Lacey (who he suddenly in love wit…for some reazon) and fly her away from Earth, her beootiful hair rippling in de solar wind.  Superman save her and defeat Mullet Man…somehow.  Monster apologize but he leave for forty sekonds to check on baking cookiez and mis dat part.  Me tink about rewinding and watching missing forty sekonds.  But decide not worth it.

Anyway, happy ending, espeshully for dis monster dat not have to watch another movie wit Super in de title for a while!

Verdikt: Pros – Shorter den Superman III.  Also, Supergirl alredy retire award for SuperShittiestSuperMovie so some improvement here.  Cons – Still terrible movie.  Lotz not make sense but, instead of feeling angry (like after Superman II), monster just feel sad for everybody – aktors, audience, and espeshully hisself.

Rating: 1/2 chocolate chippee cookie wit no chocolate chippeez.

Pleaze diskuss.

Next week, monster view Batman (1989):