Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 511
January 17, 2012
January 17, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club! Guest Blogger Cookie Monster reviews the 1966 Batman!
Many not know dis but Monster on short list to replace Simon Cowl on Amerikan Idol. Deal almost closed (with jenerous chocolate chippee dressing room rider) when show hire Cookie's bitter enemy = Jennifer Lopez! Me and JLo be feuding since Monster walk off set of Gigli (me fired after complain JLo too rough during sex scenes – ie. fur tugging) and force produktion to hire Ben Afflek. Notice how dat turn out? Anyhoo, Monster and JLo definitely not work together again so Cookie walk away from lookrative contrakt. But, on bright side, have free time to pursue other interesting projekts like role of Cop #3 in Prime Suspekt and clean out basement. Point me want to make is dat Monster very good judge of others. So when Joe ask me to do reviews for SuperMovie of Week Club, me say yes because me love the projekt, free time open up in Monster busy skedule, and me great at critiking (ask anybody on Sesame Street).
But after last week, Monster not so sure me want to continue. "Super" movie of week not so "super". More "supershit" dan "superfantastik". But Monster not a quitter. You all depending on Cookie to tell you what to tink of movie. And, anyway, sign contrakt so not want to be sued by JosephMallozzi Inc. Ltd.
So, Monster sit down and watch dis week's pick: Batman! Movie shot in gloryus Teknikolor and have not one, not two, not tree, but FOUR villains. Dis Batman BC version (Before Codpiece) very charming. Adam West best Batman ever and Burt Ward (who play Robin AND Bruce Wayne yoothful ward – Ward play ward. Coincidents? Me not tink so either) pretty darn good Robin. Helpful narrashun very good for set tone – and help stupid audience members. Why movies not do it more? Monster can tink of severul films would have been so much better (Memento, Godfather III, and De Artist).
We introduced to Bruce Wayne and yoothful ward Dick Grayson but – surprize! – dey be really Batman and Robin after pole slide to Batcave! "Atomik battery to power! Turbines to speed!" Batmobile off to de races! Monster like attenshun to scientifik detail like dat. Notice in later Batman movies no mention of either atomik battery OR turbines? How new Batmobile go? Power of wishful tinking? 
Batman and Robin take Batcopter out to sea and, while Batman climbing down Batladder, he attacked by Bateating shark. Leads to thrilling man vs. shark battle where even best Batpunches (take dat stoopid shark!) have no affect. But Batsharkrepellent does – and in nick of time too because turn out shark not your average every day shark. But exploding shark! Den turn out not even your average exploding shark…but trap exploding shark! Dis movie layers upon layers upon layers!
Turn out bad guys (Joker, Penguin, Riddler, and sexy Catwoman) have kidnap Admiral with sekret invention. What sekret invention? Wait for it….wait for it…Bruce Wayne lounge around wearing ascot….wait for it…Robin very good at riddles…wait for it…Bruce Wayne go on romantik date, drink milk out of cognac glass, kidnapped then saved…wait for it…Best bomb-getting-rid-of-sequence ever!…wait for it…Dehydrashun machine! Bad guys use to dehydrate seamen, den put dehydrated seamen into Batcave, but dehydrated seamen unstable and end up transported to other realm (Monster tink bedsheets of nearest Motel 6). Den bad guys dehydrate members of United World security council. Gather up dehydrated bits of multicolor powder and go back to sub for partaay!
But Batman and Robin crash party! Fight on deck! Everybody overboard! Stand-ins swim-ins look nothing like actors. Batman and Robin get back onboard and discover – HOLY HEARTBREAK! – Miss Kitka really Catwoman!!!
Miss Kitka! Russian reporter Miss Kitka! From Moscow Bugle!
Bruce Wayne almost fall in love wit her! Remember? No? I forgot to mention? Okay. So earlier in movie, Bruce Wayne interviewed by Russian reporter working for Moscow Bugle and fall in love but turn out she really Catwoman.
Oopsy. Maybe need spoiler space.
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Miss Kitka really Catwoman!
Multicolored vials holding dehydrated Security Council break! Batman and Robin have to vacuum up all de little bits (and probably some submarine dust) and put in special machine to separate. Everyone around de world interested in how it going to turn out. Commissioner Gordon even get call from George W! Security Council rehydrated. Sort of! Monster not going to spoil ending but lets just say Security Council members switch personalities.
Monster like dis movie a lot. Like any great film, leave a lot of questions unanswered. Questions like: How Bruce and Dick change into Batman and Robin by sliding down poles? Why bad guys have to pretend to Admiral Shippledipper dat he at sea? Do penguin quack? Beside fact dat movie make hardly any sense at all, me like it!
Final Verdikt: Movie have it all – action, romance, suspense and exploding shark! Oh and also one exploding seamen!
Rating: 8 out of 10 chocolate chippee cookies
Pleaze diskuss.
Next Tuesday, me back to review and diskuss 1978 Superman:
Already me don't believe. Monster have bad attitood.
January 16, 2012
January 16, 2012: Batgirl Rising!
By day, she's a student, struggling to settle into college life at Gotham U. By night, she's a costumed heroine, fighting crime, battling supervillains, and carrying on the name of Batgirl. But there are those who aren't exactly pleased with Stephanie Brown's decision to don the cape and cowl. The former Batgirl, Barbara Gordon, has her reservations. The new Batman feels she's in way over her head. The new Robin thinks she's downright inept. Hell, even Stephanie herself has doubts about her decision – but despite those doubts (and the initial disapproval of her peers), she perseveres and, ultimately, proves herself a more than capable caped crusader.
Batgirl Rising serves as a great jumping-on point for first-time readers or readers, like myself, who have been out of the comic loop for a while. Writer Bryan Q. Miller does a very nice job of introducing our if-not-new-then-certainly-refurbished heroine in an opening arc that establishes her double life, paralleling Stephanie's new role as Batgirl with her equally new – and no less daunting – role of college student (Sure, Livewire and the Scarecrow were intimidating but they've clearly got nothing on Philosophy 480!). She attempts to strike a balance between them, but her two worlds collide when a dangerous new drug called "thrill" makes its way onto campus and, later, when a fellow student is kidnapped.
Miller and artists Lee Garbett and Trevor Scott deliver a book that is not only engaging and exciting, but a damn fun read as well. I tend to gravitate toward to the more grounded exploration of our hero's (or heroine's) alter-ego and the writer does not disappoint here, crafting an interesting, layered character you end up caring about, and rooting for, by volume's end. The six issue collection is peppered with great moments in this respect, dramatic encounters that focus less on fisticuffs and explosions yet prove just as equally charged. I loved Barbara Gordon's breakfast ambush of Stephanie in her own home and the ensuing fireworks, Stephanie's visit to the batcave, and all of her scenes with the brattish Damien (aka Robin). Speaking of the latter, my favorite panel comes off Francisco's "I'll text you later…after you shake the little Omen fanboy giving you the stink-eye." where we then go to – top of P.115 – the aptly named Damien looking hilariously Omen-esque as he loiters beneath an ominous-looking tree.
Which brings me to the one element of storytelling that I think is crucial to a great narrative: humor. I'm not saying a series has to be comical, but certainly even the subtlest humor goes such a long way toward humanizing characters, contrasting those darker elements and, most importantly, winning over readers/viewers. While shows like The Sopranos, The Shield, and Breaking Bad may deal with very dark subject matter, they are also possessed of a wonderful sense of humor that adds so much to their respective success. Batgirl Rising, I'm pleased to report, has a wonderful sense of humor. It's never of the silly variety, detracting from the more serious moments, but always serves to add flavor and depth to the characters and situations. Stephanie's moments with Damien, in particular, stand out.
I did have one nitpick and it has to do with the former Batgirl, Cassandra Cain, and her passing of the cowl. This is covered in almost perfunctory fashion (a two-page flashback) after which the character of Cassie is never mentioned again. From what I understand, Cassie and Stephanie were friends, so I found her disappearance all the more baffling given that their continuing friendship could have provided even more insight into Stephanie's decision to assume (and stick with) the Batgirl identity. I'm sure an argument could be made that the Cassie-Stephanie relationship would have simply echoed the Barbara-Stephanie relationship but, at the end of the day, it still feels like an opportunity missed.
That quibble aside, I very much enjoyed Batgirl Rising and already have the next volume sitting on my to-read pile.
So, what did everyone else think? Post your thoughts – and questions for writer Bryan Q. Miller!
And a reminder that today is your last day to post comments for former Stargate scribe, present Exec. Producer of The L.A. Complex, Martin Gero!
Speaking of Stargate, guess who I ran into in the fresh produce aisle of my local Safeway this afternoon?
Obviously incognito!
Yep, it's Dan Shea, SG-1′s stunt coordinator. Between conventions, Dan has been working on the locally-produced Psych!
Tagged: Batgirl, Batgirl Rising, Bryan Q. Miller
January 15, 2012
January 15, 2012: Another football Sunday! Mailbag!
Well, another underwhelming weekend of football comes to a close. Exciting 49ers/Saints game aside, it was a mighty grim two days. With the exception of the Ravens, every team I was rooting for lost. If Baltimore gets bounced next weekend, I won't feel at all bad about missing the Superbowl while I'm in Tokyo.
Anyway, today, we gathered at Rob's place…
Our affable host and chef mans the waffle maker and grill.
Wafflewich!
Halfway through the first game, Rob's projector died on us. Attempts to revive it proved futile so we all packed up and headed to my place for Game #2!
I woke Patrick up for this picture.
Akemi, the life of the party!
Tomorrow, I get back to work on that horror script (did I mention it was a horror script). This afternoon, Ivon reminded me that I promised he'd have a first draft to read before I'm Tokyo-bound!
Mailbag:
Julie Aloha writes: "Have you tried feeding Max oatmeal?"
Answer: I've tried feeding him everything in the refrigerator and pantry, from steak to sardines, oatmeal to ice cream. Lately, he hasn't been biting. Sniffing but not biting.
chevron7 writes: "I emailed to let you know when I was visiting Vancouver to see if we could get a coffee because you seem to like meeting blog members and I wanted to meet you & get your signature on my Ivon book. I expected you might be busy, especially with Maximus being sick & Dark Matter, but you never replied to the email."
Answer: Odd. I don't remember receiving an email. I know that, around the time you were visiting Vancouver, I received an email from another visiting fans who I did meet up with (she was enroute to meet up with Sylvia in Hawaii).
chevron7 also writes: "I asked questions about Vancouver and the food trucks on the blog but you didn't answer." and "I chalked all that up to you being busy but when I was in Vancouver and broke my wrist and let everyone know, well you never wished me well, you never said anything."
Answer: Sorry. Although I do read every comment before approving them, sometimes I'm so overwhelmed with whatever is going on on the home or workfront that I may forget to respond or follow up. Again, apologies.
michelle writes: "Do you think his MRI was really clear? He seemed to be hiding something when he said it was. Do you think he'll become a full-on kingpin dealer next year? He needs cash again."
Answer: Hmmmm. I didn't even consider those MRI results what with everything else going on, but that's very interesting. Especially considering the fact that we're heading into the show's final season. Not sure where the show is headed next thought what with the deaths of so many major players. Hey, have they announced a premiere date yet?
Monica writes: "I've tried over the last couple of days to get to thehttp://stargate.mgm.com website to grab a few photos for Michael Shanks' official website. Have been there before, many times, but I'm finding now I get an 'access denied' message."
Answer: Strange. I'll be heading to L.A. next week. If the problem hasn't been resolved by then, I'll poke my head in to ask What's Up?
Tam Dixon writes: "Those ube cakes look like chocolate. What are they made of?"
Answer: Ube = purple yam!
prof.madmax writes: "Worst 'how come' room experience on SG1 & SGA?"
Answer: Not sure what you mean. We used to ask How Come? all the time. Like: How come, when people are out of phase, they can walk through walls yet don't fall through floors?
"…as showrunner, were you responsible for who did DVD commentary on SGU?"
Aswer: Nope. Participation was voluntary and organized by the production office.
"ZATS-who created them? Why weren't they used on SGA & SGU….why weren't they ALWAYS used since potentially non-lethal??"
Answer: The zats were invited before Paul and I joined the show, presumably by either Brad or Jonathan. While non-lethal, they were incredibly unwieldy. Also, from a purely creative standpoint, the "one zat stuns" rule was cool, the "two zats kill" rule kind of silly, and the "three zats disintegrates" rule pretty dumb.
"Who owns what???? Does MGM own your writing on THEIR characters?"
Answer: MGM owns everything – the show and its associated characters.
"I see Willie Garson (SG-1 Martin Lloyd) on USA Network's show White Collar playing Mozzie/Mr.C…identical, in MANY ways, to SG-1 Martin Lloyd….does MGM own him? What is the deal, side deals for intellectual property or just another 'old boys network'?"
Answer: It's funny but when we were shooting 200, my writing partner Paul noted that Willie, the actor, was very much Lloyd, the character he was playing. I think what you saw on White Collar was simply Willie imbuing his characters with so much of himself.
January 14, 2012
January 14, 2012: Dim Sum! Maximus! Mailbag!
I got a request for more Akemi pictures (from Akemi's mom) so here we go – snapped today while we were having dim sum at THE best place for dim sum in Vancouver = Sea Harbour Seafood Restaurant on No. 3 Road in Richmond. A great selection of items, all listed with accompanying photos, in the easy to peruse dim sum menu. On this day, we ordered…way too much.
They make the best - what Akemi likes to call - Daikon Mochi in town (actually, second only to the labor-intensive version Rob Cooper makes)
I ordered these ube cakes figuring I'd enjoy them - but Akemi wouldn't. It turned out to be just the opposite. She loved the texture. As for me - I don't know. Call me crazy, but I like my desserts sweet.
Now THIS is more like it - the restaurant's special egg-yolk buns. I love to order a plate of these for first timers and watch them bite into one, unwittingly unleashing a spray of searing, sweet yellow lava onto their fingers and the surrounding table. Heh heh.
On the way home, we stopped by the pet store and picked up some doggy surprises: a squeaky lamb, a squeaky ferret, and a couple of comfy beds including a tiny one for Maximus who prefers squeezing himself in over sprawling himself out -
Plenty of room for one more!
Jelly, on the other hand, is more of a sprawler. Compare and contrast:
Maximus hasn't been doing well lately. His on again off again on again off again appetite is off once again. He hasn't eaten in two days and I've run out of options. Guess I'll see how he does over the next couple of days.
Mailbag:
Shiny writes: "And I still haven't been able to find that purple pasta shaped like flowers that you had at I think a Thai restaurant?"
Answer: Yes, they're a Thai dish called chor ladda.
Flower-shaped dumplings filled with minced chicken and peanuts. Legend has it they were a princess's favorite, thus they are referred to as Princess Dumplings in some places.
Shiny also writes: "Whey you're done with Breaking B I hope you'll check out Misfits and Spy!"
Answer: Downloading the first season of Misfits now. Haven't heard of Spy.
Fred writes: " He's looking more like a sociopath and I question whether that kind of fundamental personality shift can really occur in an individual absent any earlier clues."
Answer: Given the number of sociopaths who have been described as "perfectly normal" by friends, family, and neighbors, I'd say yes.
cherluvya writes: "Mike has become a very likable character."
Answer: And I think the show's producers realized this, which was why they injured him and took him out play for that final episode – otherwise he would have been in that room with Gus.
ben writes: "You should check out Boardwalk Empire, but it does take a few episodes to get going and to get used to."
Answer: I've heard. The first season comes out on dvd soon.
chevron7 writes: "I don't know why you're mad at me..it's why I've stayed away these last few weeks…made me sad…"
Answer: I'm mad at you? This is an assumption based on what?
michelle writes: "Now onto the "Breaking Bad" finale, since I know I'm one of the ones who hyped it."
Answer: Yes. I was going to give you the weekend before I dropped you a pestering email.
michelle also writes: " Because I just didn't believe Walt would sink to that level…"
Answer: Really? I think I could excuse the poisoning on the grounds that he is a scientist and might know how much of the stuff to administer to ensure sickness short of death, but I have a harder time forgiving him for sending his elderly neighbor into a home where a bunch of killers may have been lying in wait.
michelle also writes: "Regarding your 4, have you watched the little featurettes that came with the iTunes eps?"
Answer: Mine didn't come with a featurette.
michelle also writes: " I think Giancarlo is an amazing actor. You should watch a featurette just to see what a different/happy guy he is in real life."
Answer: Speaking of clever writing, you should check out Mr. Esposito in a movie called Fresh.
Dave Clark writes: "Hey, can you just send me one? And advanced copies of the rest? And season 2 of Stargate Universe? And some braised short ribs?"
Answer: Sure. They're on their way. Make sure to tuck into those ribs the second they arrive. You want to eat 'em hot.
January 13, 2012
January 13, 2012: Golden Boy Martin Gero wants to hear from YOU!
Lookit him! All directorial and such!
Yes, it's true! After too long an absence, fan favorite and culinary wingman Martin Gero makes his return to this blog to field YOUR (and a couple of my) questions. What the hell has he been up to since Stargate: Atlantis ended it's run? Find out! Ask him about his time on Stargate, his HBO series Bored To Death, and his new show, The L.A. Complex, that was just picked up by the CW (and airs here in Canada on Tuesdays at 9:00 p.m. on CTV and MuchMusic). Or maybe ask him about the beard. I've yet to receive a satisfactory response on that one.
Anyway, I'll be collecting questions for him over the next few days so don't delay!
Curious to know more about Marty G? Check him out on "the twitter" here: martingero
Or his hopelessly outdated website here: http://martingero.com
And find out about his new show, The L.A. Complex, here (Watch The L.A. Complex Tuesdays @ 9ET), here (The L.A. Complex – Shows – CTV), and here ('The L.A. Complex' Director/Writer Martin Gero: This Is Not A …).
Okay, so I finally got around to watching the much-hyped fourth season finale of my new favorite show, Breaking Bad and…
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I was surprised by the fact that for a show that surprised me consistently in the episodes leading up to this finale, it failed to surprise me with this last episode. Also, for a show that's been so expert in its ability to set up and pay off every dramatic turn, its finale felt oddly unfinished – and a little unsatisfying. Specifically:
1. The bomb under the wheelchair seemed the obvious solution to the Gus problem from the moment Saul mentions Tio. I was expecting that to be the plan but I was also expecting some sort of twist or complication given that, up to this point in the series, the writers have been so good at steering us in one direction and then blindsiding us with a surprise turn. Not so this time. It all went down pretty much as I'd imagined it would. I know I'm being picky and on most every other television show (and pretty much any movie out there), it would have been fully satisfying – but Breaking Bad has proven itself so much more clever in the past that I couldn't help but feel disappointed.
2. How did Walter swap the cigarettes? It was probably in Saul's office when Jesse was getting frisked, but the moment happens too fast and, worse, Jesse resists so much that it's hard to buy. Hard but not impossible I suppose.
3. The bigger issue for me is how the heck Walt poisoned the kid. I'm sure there are a 101 ways to poison a kid (many a book has been written on the subject) but the fact that we didn't see it, or were even given a hint as to how he pulled it off, really felt like the show was asking the audience to look past a significant linchpin event – again, something that would be perfectly acceptable in many other shows but is uncharacteristic of Breaking Bad's precise storytelling.
4. And another minor bump for me: In the second to last episode, why did Gus not get into the car? Did he notice something amiss? Was he tipped off? Another fascinating development that wasn't explained (or didn't even receive a hint at an explanation).
These gripes aside, I do love the show. I'm fascinated by our protagonist's descent into darkness and how this is in sharp contrast to the attempted redemption of other characters in shows like The Sopranos and The Shield. I don't know about you, but I actually felt sorry for Gus in this episode. He didn't want to get into business with Walter. It was Walter who forced the issue. Walter (and his partner) who screwed up and jeopardized things. Walter who threatened and murdered innocents (Brock, Gale). Poor Gus was simply a victim of Gus's greed.
Thoughts? Agree? Disagree?
Hey, one more reminder that we begin discussion on the January Book of the Month Club Selection: Batgirl Rising on Monday, so finish up, weigh in with your thoughts, and prepare your questions for writer Bryan Q. Miller!
And join our SuperMovie of the Week Club by sitting down and watching the 1966 Batman movie. Cookie Monster, who weighed in with his review of Superman and the Mole-Men last week (January 9, 2012: The Superfilm of the Week Club! Superman and the Mole Men! Cookie Monster Review!) returns on Tuesday to offer his thoughts on Batman.
Thanks to everyone who took the time to post a comment over the last 24 hours (and a special thanks to the first-time posters as well). Your kind words are much appreciated – and certainly food for thought.
Today's blog entry is dedicated to PBMom and NarelleFromAus.
Tagged: Batgirl Rising, Batman, Book of the Month Club, Bryan Q. Miller, Martin Gero, Superfilm of the Week Club, SuperMovie of the Week Club, The L.A. Complex
January 12, 2012
January 12, 2012: This Blog
"What are you talking about? You can't stop. You have to continue until you die!"
- Akemi on the subject of my blog.
Well, in all fairness I'm not aware of any contractual obligation that requires me to continue blogging. Strange to think that when I started this blog, back in November of 2006, it was with the simple aim of documenting an upcoming trip to Asia. In those first few days, it would average some 12-15 daily visitors. In later years, at its busiest, it was closer to 12 000. The record was the almost 20 000 visitors who dropped in on the heels of the Stargate: Universe finale.
When I started this blog, I had not intention of continuing it past those initial two weeks in Hong Kong and Tokyo. But, when I returned home, I decided to challenge myself. Writers write, even when they don't want to. Hell, for most professional writers, that's exactly when they do most of their best work. So, I wanted to see how far I could push myself. How long could I go without missing a daily update?
As it turned out, a pretty damn long time. Yesterday, I posted my 1901st successive blog entry. Not a bad run. And since kicking things off back some 5 years ago, this blog has been visited well over 8 million times. According to WordPress's 2011 Annual Report:
The blog was viewed 1,900,000 times in 2011
In 2011, it welcomed visitors from as far away as Tunisia, Mauritius, Japan, India, New Zealand, and Guam.
The entries the received the most views in 2011 = 1) May 12, 2011: Stargate: Universe, Beyond Season 2! What Might Have Been!
2) June 12, 2010: Actress Julia Benson Answers Your Questions!
3) September 30, 2008: An AU Season 6!
5) September 5, 2009: Dinner with Ivon and Brian! Julia Benson! Braving the Tokyo subway system!
The Top 5 Most Active Commenters in 2011:
dasNdanger #1 (roughly doubling second place. Congrats!)
Ponytail #2
Tammy Dixon #3
Randomness #4
Lisa R #5
Talk about dedication!
It's been a lot of fun. And very satisfying. And other times, frustrating, maddening, and disappointing. But overall, it's been an incredibly positive experience that will forever provide me with a detailed snapshot of memories and my mindset at a certain period in my life. Also, some great friends and future book material.
Over the course of these 5+ years, I've both enjoyed myself immensely and come close to calling it quits several times, but what always kept me going was the desire to write, a commitment to my readers, and the very real possibility that, if I WERE to skip a day, you would all assume I was dead.
Well, an early alert should at least address the latter.
1902 is a rather ordinary number to end on and, while 2000 seems mighty daunting at this moment, I figure I've blogged for over 60 straight months. What's three more?
Who knows? A lot can change in three months. I may hit 2000 and suddenly feel revitalized. Set my sights on 2500. Maybe even 3000! But in the event that doesn't happen, then consider this advance warning. This blog may end with its 2000th post. But I don't want you guys worrying about me.
Speaking of writing, I did a little more work on the feature script. It's slow going but coming along nicely. I hit the 7 page mark this morning and hope to have the first draft completed before I head to Tokyo. The plan is to bounce it off both Paul and Ivon when I'm done, then work with both of them to produce a 2 minute trailer we can use as a calling card to shop the project.
Speaking of Paul, I got a call from him last night. He has an idea for a terrific series that, if the timing is right, would be perfect for 2013. We discussed the basic premise and series pilot. He's going to give it some more thought and then we'll convene at some point and start breaking the first script.
Speaking of calls, I fielded one from my agent today. Look like Paul and I are L.A.-bound next week to pitch Dark Matter to some interested parties. The plan, as you all know, is to use the comic book series as a springboard to a television series (or mini-series). I will, of course, keep you posted on our progress. In the meantime, why not pick up a copy of the first issue (Dark Matter #1) that hit the shelves yesterday.
Speaking of Dark Matter, here's another interview I did for the series, this one with Patrick Hickey Jr. at Review Fix: http://wp.me/pVer6-6iU
'night!
Tagged: Blogging
January 11, 2012
January 11, 2012: Dark Matter #1 hits the shelves!
The first issue of my SF comic book series, Dark Matter, hit the shelves today! But you already knew that.
I chat about the series with We Love Cult's Jason Tabrys: http://popculturezoo.com/2012/01/observing-dark-matter-1-with-joe-mallozzi/
Over at Pop Culture Zoo, I talk about the first issue with Joseph Dilworth: http://popculturezoo.com/2012/01/observing-dark-matter-1-with-joe-mallozzi/
Some reviews of the first issue:
Advance Review: DARK MATTER #1
Advance Review – Dark Matter #1 l ComicBookTherapy
Dark Matter #1 – Broken Frontier – Comic Book and Graphic Novel …
COMIC BASTARDS: Review: Dark Matter #1
Eric's Dark Horse Comics Review: DARK MATTER #1 | The Daily …
Bullet Reviews #43: Peanuts, Godzilla and More!
Scarlet Spider, The Ray, and Dark Matter: New Comics For 1/11/12
Finally, spoke to mom today who checked out the first issue and had plenty of praise…for Ryan Hill's colors!
Go get your desktop wallpaper here: Dark Matter :: Desktops :: Dark Horse Comics
I'm assuming you're all reading your copies as I compose this blog entry. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts.
I swung by my local comic shop today to pick up a few titles (Lobster Johnson #1, Punisher MAX #21, The Shade #4, and sundry others) and spotted my book on the rack. There was one copy left of the five the shop ordered and it was only 1:00 p.m. My sister reports the first issue has sold it in most of the places her friends checked in Montreal. Extrapolating from these statistical samples, we can conservatively estimate selling out every single issue produced by week's end. So go get 'em while they're still available!
My cold symptoms have evolved Not gotten better; gotten different. Whereas, a couple of days ago, I was suffering from stuffy sinuses and sore, dry throat, today I am dealing with chest congestion and a blissful buzz not unlike what one would experience following a third successive kamikaze shot. I wonder what tomorrow will bring? Hot flashes and itchy toes?
Lesson of the day: Always check the best before date on any half-finished jar of butter pecan butter you may find in the back of the refrigerator before consuming its contents, especially if you're suffering from a cold that has compromised your sense of taste.
My boy Maximus is hanging in there, lounging about with the best of 'em and still showing interest in breakfast and dinner – provided I hand feed him table scraps.
January 10, 2012
January 10, 2012: Hot new diet plan! One day to Dark Matter #1! Cookie Monster pissed!
You never fully appreciate what a crucial role the sense of smell plays in the tasting process – until its compromised and everything you eat tastes like my aunt's half-the-sugar cookies. This became clear to me yesterday, two days into my killer cold, when I went out for Italian and: a) didn't have a second helping of pasta or, more alarmingly, b) finish dessert. Hmmmm. I may be on to something here for anyone looking to lose some weight. It's simple really. Before you sit down to a meal, stuff your nostrils with either tobacco, sardines or crushed charcoal briquettes, then proceed to eat as your normally would. I guarantee the pounds will melt away in no time.
So, I've started work on that feature script I mentioned the other day. Six pages in and it's smooooooooth sailing.
My comic book series, Dark Matter, launches tomorrow with its very first issue. Do me a favor and get the word out…and then pick up a copy, either at your local comic book store or digitally here (digital.darkhorse.com), through your smart phones here (http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/dark-horse-comics/id415378623?mt=8) or here(https://market.android.com/details?id=com.darkhorse.digital), and/or order yourself an online copy here (TFAW.com)! And tell me what you think!
The lovely Marjorie M. Liu (author of The Dirk and Steele series, the Hunter Kiss series, NYX, X-23, Dark Wolverine, and, in a few months, The Astonishing X-Men) was kind enough to invite me over to her blog for a little chat. Head on over and check it out, then leave a comment for a chance to win an iTune download of Stargate: Universe's first season! An interview with Joseph Mallozzi!
You can also check out another Dark Matter-related interview I did, this one with ComicBook Therapy: http://www.comicbooktherapy.com/?p=26889
Also today, I chatted with the ever-so-genial Tony Tellado over at Sci-Fi Talk (Sci-Fi Talk Official Blog | Multi-Media Site On SF,Fantasy And Horror). We discussed Dark Matter and (of course) Stargate for an upcoming podcast. I'll let you know once he lets me know when it's up!
Boy is Cookie Monster pissed. He was expecting all of you to weigh in with your thoughts on our first Superfilm of the Week Club selection (Superman and the Mole-Men), but it turns out most of you took a pass – meaning he sat through the movie and now has to make conversation with himself. What is he, Big Bird?! He was so mad that he trashed Mr. Hooper's store, then kicked Oscar's garbage can down the block. With Oscar in it! Just thought I'd warn you before we head into the Superfilm of the Week discussion…
kluseklan writes: "At the very least Superman should have been mighty pi$$ed at all the murder attempts directed at him by the townspeople. I mean, really, how many times must the man step in front of a gun before people figure out bullets aren't cutting it?"
Cookie Monster: Forget townspeople shooting at him. Monster surprised Superman not hurl Lois Lane into rezervoir. She belittle Clark so much, me almost expekt her to kick him in de graypes!
Sparrow_hawk writes: "However, I could not bring myself to watch the Superman movie. Just couldn't do it. Sorry, Joe and Cookie Monster."
Cookie Monster: Monster very disappointed in sparkle-hawk. Not feel dis let down since Blues Brothers 2000.
gforce writes: "I actually agree with most of your review – except for the hats! They were the best part!"
Cookie Monster: Hats best part of movie in same way turn-and-cough best part of annual monster physical.
Bloomgate writes: "When the molemen were pointing their weapon at Superman, he insisted that Lois go inside to safety. She then proceeded indoors to a location near the line of fire, and directly visible in a picture window. Did Lois think that whatever their weapon shot out of it, it could not somehow penetrate glass?"
Cookie Monster: Or her icy exterior.
Bloomgate also writes: "When the molemen were returning to their realm at the well cap, the final moleman to descend was carrying their weapon and handed it to Superman so he could properly navigate the ladder. Once inside Superman handed it back to him. Evidently, the molemen have a need for advanced weaponry within their own society, but had somehow after only a few minutes of pantomime had come to believe Superman trustworthy enough to allow him to do them that favor."
Cookie Monster: Maybe he have one of dose "trust me wit your weapon" faces. Happen to monster all da time.
Bloomgate also writes: "Although no aspersions toward Watergate, but the realization that they just wanted their people back as the resolution seemed vaguely familiar. "
Cookie Monster: Wow! Dat true! Robert Cooper rip off Mole Man movie plot for episode! What next? Bigscreen 3D scifi version of Dances wit Wolves?
DP writes: "Why did it have to be harmless phosphorescence and not cryptonitish, moppet-melting radiation?"
Cookie Monster: Yep. Mole men go back. Everyone happy because dey learn valuable lesson. Den dey die of radiation poizoning. No one see dat ending coming!
DP also writes: "Why was Lois suddenly concerned when the milk hit Superman instead of Luke?"
Cookie Monster: Monster tink Lois major groupie skank.
DP also writes: "How DID the orange sack get over here?"
Cookie Monster: Yeah! Dat never explained! How DID orange sack get over here?!! Me smell sequel!!!
Airelle writes: "I just wish Superman had flown more than he did."
Cookie Monster: Monster tink just the right amount of bad stunt flying to compliment bad acting.
Airelle also writes: "it seemed the little guy inside had more than ample time to figure out the loose floorboard strategy."
Cookie Monster: What me want to know if why tunnel under shack? Once hiding place for French resistance? Monster very confused.
Patricia Stewart-Bertrand writes: "Is there a way we could get the very first Dark Matter Comic/graphic novel autographed by you and Paul?"
Cookie Monster: Monster not want to speak for Joe and Paul but Sure! Dey be delighted! Bring comical book next time you see dem and dey write heartwarming message inside like Best Kawoo-ishes or Keep Your Feet on de Ground and Keep Reaching for da Stargate or Get Better Harold!
Line Noise writes: "There must be something wrong with me. I didn't think the movie was THAT bad."
Cookie Monster: It relative. Compared to hernia surgery footage, movie very watchable!
Anne writes: "…the way Luke Benson throw punches to Superman after the bullets bounced."
Cookie Monster: He punch like Monster's mommy. All ouchy knuckles!
January 9, 2012
January 9, 2012: The Superfilm of the Week Club! Superman and the Mole Men! Cookie Monster Review!
Cookie Monster come down with flu – or maybe bug picked up from Grover jacuzzi party – and not feeling one hunerd persent so sorry if dis review make less sense den movie. Monster very sick. Last night, me toss and turn and have terrible fever dream. Turn out not dream but memories of dis week's Superfilm of Week: Superman and the Mole-Men.
And is all downhill from dere...
It start at Silsby "Home of World's Deepest Oil Well" where company closing down. And trowing away big oversize wrenches like ones Oscar da Grouch use to whack homeless trash divers. After most suspishus glove-taking-off-scene in film history, reporters arrive to question foreman Corrigan. Intro Clark Kent (who look like Phil Silvers) and Lois Lane (who do bad job hiding her alter ego: Super Bitch). Dey find out company drill 32 740 feet …TO CENTER OF THE EARTH! Is world record! (recently broke by BP dat made it all de way to Hell). But now, for reazons not telling, Corrigan shutting down operashuns. Clark Kent wonder: "Why?". Me wonder: "Who cares?" and if all actors in movie contraktually obligated to wear stupid hats.
Contrakt clause 42 subsektion D: Actor must wear dorky hat.
When no one looking, two 50 year old tailors from Schenektady New York crawl out of ground. Dey stroll and look around all wowee like first class trip to neighborhood sex shop. But turn out not really tailors. Really…Mole Men! I bet dey get dat all de time.
Clark and Lois come back to oil company. Clark VERY alarmed to find office door slightly open. "Great Scott!"he say. Well, not so great. And not Scott but old guy dead on floor. Clark even more alarmed. Bitchy Lois reprimand him, say no big deal, just old man keel over. BUT sharp-eyed Clark notice oranges on floor. ORANGES ON FLOOR! How dat happen? How sack get dere? CSI dis aint.
Is a bird! Is a plane! NO! Is - ! No. Is a bird after all. Sorry.
Clark call for help. Person on other end of line ask what up? Clark say can't explain. Not sure why not. Mebbe Clark not a phone person. Me like dat sometime, espeshully when mom call.
Lois can come out to play?
Later, Lois left alone in room sees mole men perving on her thru window. She scream and men arrive. Too late to see pervs but not too late to humor hysterical woman Lois who claim: ""Dey had bodies of moles wit great big human heads. " More accurate deskripshun would be "Dey kids wit bathing caps and furry sweaters.". Clark wonder "What dey want?". Monster tink "Old man's oranges!". But monster wrong.
Clark say dey have to stay with body until undertaker arrive. Why? He not going anywhere. Finally, everyone else leave. Clark left alone with foreman. He turn and ask: "I guess you know why I hung around, Mr. Corrigan." Monster tink "Oh boy oh boy oh boy. Clark cruising Corrigan!". But monster wrong. Again. Movie full of surpirzes like dat!
Anyhoo, Corrigan reveal truth. Mole men come from…center of Earth! Everyting dey touch glow wit radiashun! But no explanashun for why dey wear furry sweaters. Maybe surface world colder dan Morlocktropolis. Monster dunno. Is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside of enigma surrounded by shitty movie shell.
Tings happen. Mole man scared by snake. Mole men play catch wit kid. Lois bitch out Clark. Cookie Monster tink he be better off wit Corrigan after all. Den Superman show up. Nobody in town all dat interested. Cookie Monster neither but have to do review for stupid blog so keep watching.
Mole men end up on dam (for some reason) and, after worst use of spotlight ever by crazed mob, one mole man shot. He fall but Superman catch him and leave other mole man to be chased. For loooooooooooooooong time. But he get away anyway and crawl back into hole what he came from.
Superman save da day but VFX team drop da ball.
At town hospital, Clark arguing with owner who don't want to serve alien. Nurse also creeped out. But doctor say duckie and Clark assist in operashun. While mob gather outside hospital, more mole men crawl out of hole in ground wit what look like espresso machine. Dey walk down main street and nobody notice except homeless man. And Superman who tell dem: "No one gonna hurt you. No one gonna mean you any harm." And me tink: No one except…EVERYONE IN TOWN!
Dats some impressive eqwipment!
Angry townperson tries to shoot dem, but dey shoot first wit espresso machine. It shoot cartoon beam dat make him VERY tried. But Superman step in front and reazon with mole men. Dey sorry. Angry townsperson sorry too. Everyone sorry but nobody more den me dat skipped Big Bird Pimps Up Ho's Down Party to watch dis crap. Finally, oil well blow up to seal hole back to Moleville. But feel good ending for dis monster because me feel good movie finally end.
Final Verdikt: Boring, terruble VFX, cheez acting – but bonus points for mercy-fully short 58 minute run time.
Rating: 3 out of 10 chocolate chippee cookies
Pleaze diskuss.
Next Tuesday, me back to review and diskuss 1966 Batman:
Don't forget to watch!
And don't forget to read Batgirl Rising for Monday, January 16 for Book of Month Klub diskusshun with writer Bryan Q. Miller!
AND don't forget to pick up Joe new comic book, Dark Matter #1, dat come out dis Wednesday, January 11!
Tagged: Cookie Monster, Cookie Monster film review, Superfilm of the Week Club, Superman and the Mole Men
January 9, 2011: The Superfilm of the Week Club! Superman and the Mole Men! Cookie Monster Review!
Cookie Monster come down with flu – or maybe bug picked up from Grover jacuzzi party – and not feeling one hunerd persent so sorry if dis review make less sense den movie. Monster very sick. Last night, me toss and turn and have terrible fever dream. Turn out not dream but memories of dis week's Superfilm of Week: Superman and the Mole-Men.
And is all downhill from dere...
It start at Silsby "Home of World's Deepest Oil Well" where company closing down. And trowing away big oversize wrenches like ones Oscar da Grouch use to whack homeless trash divers. After most suspishus glove-taking-off-scene in film history, reporters arrive to question foreman Corrigan. Intro Clark Kent (who look like Phil Silvers) and Lois Lane (who do bad job hiding her alter ego: Super Bitch). Dey find out company drill 32 740 feet …TO CENTER OF THE EARTH! Is world record! (recently broke by BP dat made it all de way to Hell). But now, for reazons not telling, Corrigan shutting down operashuns. Clark Kent wonder: "Why?". Me wonder: "Who cares?" and if all actors in movie contraktually obligated to wear stupid hats.
Contrakt clause 42 subsektion D: Actor must wear dorky hat.
When no one looking, two 50 year old tailors from Schenektady New York crawl out of ground. Dey stroll and look around all wowee like first class trip to neighborhood sex shop. But turn out not really tailors. Really…Mole Men! I bet dey get dat all de time.
Clark and Lois come back to oil company. Clark VERY alarmed to find office door slightly open. "Great Scott!"he say. Well, not so great. And not Scott but old guy dead on floor. Clark even more alarmed. Bitchy Lois reprimand him, say no big deal, just old man keel over. BUT sharp-eyed Clark notice oranges on floor. ORANGES ON FLOOR! How dat happen? How sack get dere? CSI dis aint.
Is a bird! Is a plane! NO! Is - ! No. Is a bird after all. Sorry.
Clark call for help. Person on other end of line ask what up? Clark say can't explain. Not sure why not. Mebbe Clark not a phone person. Me like dat sometime, espeshully when mom call.
Lois can come out to play?
Later, Lois left alone in room sees mole men perving on her thru window. She scream and men arrive. Too late to see pervs but not too late to humor hysterical woman Lois who claim: ""Dey had bodies of moles wit great big human heads. " More accurate deskripshun would be "Dey kids wit bathing caps and furry sweaters.". Clark wonder "What dey want?". Monster tink "Old man's oranges!". But monster wrong.
Clark say dey have to stay with body until undertaker arrive. Why? He not going anywhere. Finally, everyone else leave. Clark left alone with foreman. He turn and ask: "I guess you know why I hung around, Mr. Corrigan." Monster tink "Oh boy oh boy oh boy. Clark cruising Corrigan!". But monster wrong. Again. Movie full of surpirzes like dat!
Anyhoo, Corrigan reveal truth. Mole men come from…center of Earth! Everyting dey touch glow wit radiashun! But no explanashun for why dey wear furry sweaters. Maybe surface world colder dan Morlocktropolis. Monster dunno. Is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside of enigma surrounded by shitty movie shell.
Tings happen. Mole man scared by snake. Mole men play catch wit kid. Lois bitch out Clark. Cookie Monster tink he be better off wit Corrigan after all. Den Superman show up. Nobody in town all dat interested. Cookie Monster neither but have to do review for stupid blog so keep watching.
Mole men end up on dam (for some reason) and, after worst use of spotlight ever by crazed mob, one mole man shot. He fall but Superman catch him and leave other mole man to be chased. For loooooooooooooooong time. But he get away anyway and crawl back into hole what he came from.
Superman save da day but VFX team drop da ball.
At town hospital, Clark arguing with owner who don't want to serve alien. Nurse also creeped out. But doctor say duckie and Clark assist in operashun. While mob gather outside hospital, more mole men crawl out of hole in ground wit what look like espresso machine. Dey walk down main street and nobody notice except homeless man. And Superman who tell dem: "No one gonna hurt you. No one gonna mean you any harm." And me tink: No one except…EVERYONE IN TOWN!
Dats some impressive eqwipment!
Angry townperson tries to shoot dem, but dey shoot first wit espresso machine. It shoot cartoon beam dat make him VERY tried. But Superman step in front and reazon with mole men. Dey sorry. Angry townsperson sorry too. Everyone sorry but nobody more den me dat skipped Big Bird Pimps Up Ho's Down Party to watch dis crap. Finally, oil well blow up to seal hole back to Moleville. But feel good ending for dis monster because me feel good movie finally end.
Final Verdikt: Boring, terruble VFX, cheez acting – but bonus points for mercy-fully short 58 minute run time.
Rating: 3 out of 10 chocolate chippee cookies
Pleaze diskuss.
Next Tuesday, me back to review and diskuss 1966 Batman:
Don't forget to watch!
And don't forget to read Batgirl Rising for Monday, January 16 for Book of Month Klub diskusshun with writer Bryan Q. Miller!
AND don't forget to pick up Joe new comic book, Dark Matter #1, dat come out dis Wednesday, January 11!
Tagged: Cookie Monster, Cookie Monster film review, Superfilm of the Week Club, Superman and the Mole Men
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