Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 495

June 16, 2012: An early start to the day! Days of Stargate Atlantis Past! Letters from Pegasus! The Gift!

Last night, Akemi and I re-enacted an episode of the anime Gintama. Coincidentally, it was the very episode we watched last night before going to sleep. The episode involved an insomniac Kagura keeping a sleepy Gintama up all night.  By episode’s end, she has finally dozed off while Gintama lies wide awake beside her, unable to fall back asleep. Well, some three hours after I switched off the lights, I was stirred from a deep slumber by Akemi complaining because she couldn’t sleep. Apparently, she was suffering from indigestion, undoubtedly the result of a double helpings of the spicy noodles we had for dinner last night (“Please, don’t judge me,” she said as she shoveled the second helping into her bowl).  ”I can’t sleep,”she said.  ”Help me.”  I suggested she pop a Pepto Bismal tablet.  I always keep a half-dozen in emergency reserve by my bedside.  She informed me that she’d already taken one and so, my entire repertoire of stomach remedies exhausted, I attempted to talk her out of her indigestion – but only managed a few encouraging words before giving up and settling for a comforting stomach pat.

And then, as I lay there, thinking about going back to sleep, other thoughts began to intrude on my half-wakened mind – concerns, big and small, took root and flourished, prompting dark imaginings, worst case scenarios, and a multitude of possible approaches to the problems. I lay in bed, fully alert, for three hours, attempting to shut down my brain and salvage what little sleep I could.  But when the sun came up at a little after 5:00 a.m., I knew I was done.  Jelly waking up thirty minutes later, crying to be let out, sealed it.

I got dressed, took Jelly out, came back inside, and crawled back into bed.  But it was pointless.  I got back out of bed, grabbed my laptop, and headed downstairs for an early start to the day – all the while being ever so careful to make sure I didn’t disturb Akemi.

She, of course, managed to sleep through the whole thing.

Atlantis memories…

LETTERS FROM PEGASUS (117)

Not quite a clip show yet not quite a progressive episode either, Letters from Pegasus is nevertheless a satisfying entry as it offers up some insight into life on Atlantis and the effect the early months of the expedition have had on its members.  We’re offered unguarded glimpses of our characters as they open up and send messages back to their loved ones.  These run the gamut from amusing and heart-warming to incredibly poignant.  Alongside Weir’s address to the loved ones of those who have lost their lives on the mission to Pegasus, highlights include a conniving Kavanaugh, a long-winded McKay, and a surprisingly stirring Zelenka who delivers his entire message in Czech.

Off-world, meanwhile, Sheppard and Teyla run into a spot of trouble while running reconnaissance and narrowly avoid being culled by the wraith.  Teyla’s attempts to save the family of an old friend prompts a curious lecture from John on the necessity to separate emotions from logic in life or death situations.  The advice is sound but it nevertheless rings a little hollow given that it comes from a guy who has, time and again, demonstrated just the opposite.

THE GIFT (118)

This episode starts with the old double-dream twist (love it!) and ends with a shocking revelation that was hinted at way back in the opening two-parter. Along the way, we are treated to oodles of backstory on the wraith, the Ancients, and Teyla herself.  And, as an added bonus, we’re also introduced to resident psychiatrist Dr. Kate Heightmeyer AND the much-loved tuttleroot soup (an Athosian specialty!).  This episode covers A LOT of ground, but it never feels rushed or overwhelming in its delivery.  It moves along at a brisk pace with one surprise building on the next.  The evolution of the wraith!  The Ancients’ unwittingly having a hand in their own demise!  The dark truth about Teyla’s genetic make-up!  The reason for the grand awakening and looming wraith attack on Atlantis!

And then, there’s this at the very end of the episode:

Teyla: “That is why they are all waking up. That is why they are coming here. They know that Atlantis is the only way to get to a new, rich, feeding ground.”

Sheppard: Earth.

Yes!  YES!  THAT is why they’re all awakening!  Sheppard assumes the blame for awakening the wraith (during the op to rescue Sumner in Rising II) but here, Teyla confirms what I mentioned in a previous entry: that the wraith have awakened, not because of Sheppard’s actions, but because of the information they discovered while interrogating Sumner.

DARK MATTER at Comic Con!

I’m making final arrangements for Comic Con.    In a little less than a month from now, I’ll be in San Diego, signing copies of my comic book series (Dark Matter), walking the floor of the convention center (it took me an entire afternoon the first time I went), and attempting to find a restaurant amid the myriad of neighborhood bail bondsman offices.  Hopefully, by the same time next year, I’ll be back in San Diego and, instead of talking about Dark Matter the comic book series, I’ll be there to discuss Dark Matter the t.v. series.  Seriously. Television is in desperate need of a ship-based science fiction series.

Four more days to get your vote in for The Greatest Mid-Season Two-Parter in Stargate history!

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It’s about 4:00 p.m. and I’m ready for bed!

Tagged: science fiction, scifi television, SF television, SGA, Stargate, Stargate: Atlantis

June 15, 2012: Meat & Bread! Cadeaux Bakery! Days of Stargate Past, Atlantis! Before I Sleep! The Brotherhood!

On the heels of some disappointing/underwhelming/unfortunate/painful dining experiences, I’ve done much of my eating at home of late.  The other day, however, I did end up venturing out to grab a sandwich at Meat & Bread in Gastown, and a dessert or two (or three…or four…okay, more like five) at Cadeaux Bakery.

With special guest diners, Steve and Jodi.

The porchetta sandwich at Meat & Bread is unbelievable.

Come on in! Let’s check out Cadeaux.

Jodi and Steve are out of control. Kids, don’t try this at home.

Our appetizer: the bourbon-lime truffles.

The ladies loved it. A little too tart for this sweet tooth.

That is one killer carrot cake.

Choco-banana dessert. This was surprisingly subtle. Good, but was blown away by the other more intensely flavored options.

The best dessert of the day: the pistachio bavarois.

The salted caramel brownie. Also killer.

I hear that Cadeaux is fairly new.  Do check it out.  Chances are you’ll run into me there as it is now my favorite dessert hang-out in Vancouver.

Continuing our Stargate: Atlantis reminiscences…

BEFORE I SLEEP (115)

Carl Binder makes his impressive Atlantis debut with an episode that hits all the right notes.  It’s possessed of humour, wonder, surprises, great character moments, and a bittersweetness that stays with you long after other episodes have been forgotten.  In the opening scene, Sheppard’s birthday gift to Weir goes a long way toward  strengthening the (recently frayed) bond between the two while simultaneously endearing John to the audience.  Yes, he’s a guy who killed some 60 enemy combatants, challenged Elizabeth’s authority, and showed suspect judgment in his romantic pursuit of an outsider but, on the flip side, he’s someone who thinks enough of his friends to: a) take the time to find out their birth day and b) go through the trouble of getting them a present.  It’s a small gesture but an incredibly meaningful one.  McKay, meanwhile, is back to his old self as he oversees the search of unexplored sections of Atlantis, seeking fresh scientific discoveries – and a room with a nicer view.

Time travel episodes are great – provided they make sense.  And this one does, jumping back between two timelines – past, present, and future – to tell the tale of an Atlantis expedition that was and, subsequently, never was.  We’re offered an alternate view of the pilot, a glimpse at the Ancients, and, best of all, confirmation that, when the chips are down, Rodney IS a hero at heart.

THE BROTHERHOOD (116)

Kolya makes his return, throwing a wrench into our heroes’ efforts to secure a working ZPM.  A long dead secret society, underground labyrinths, puzzles and the Pegasus version of the Holy Grail all make for a fun, Atlantis-style Da Vinci Codesque adventure.  But, like Childhood’s Ends, it’s all for naught and our crew find themselves back to square one.  This episode also marks the first mention of Sheppard’s mensa test.  We learn he passed but never joined, shocking McKay by suggesting that there’s more to this low-key rebel than meets the eye. But was he on the level?  Years later, in the fifth season mid-season two-parter, Rodney isn’t so sure…

Oh, yeah.  Almost forgot!  Don’t forget to vote for your favorite Stargate mid-season two-parter for a chance to win some signed scripts!

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Tagged: Atlantis, Cadeaux Bakery, Meat & Bread, science fiction, scifi television, SF television, Stargate, Stargate: Atlantis, Vancouver desserts

June 14, 2012: Familiar territory! Days of Stargate Past, Atlantis! Hot Zone! Sanctuary!

The other day, I was back in familiar territory, at The Bridge Studios, the former home of Stargate: SG-1, Stargate: Atlantis, and Stargate: Universe, present home of Once Upon A Time, and Brightlight Pictures the company producing the SF miniseries Paul and I are writing.  I dropped by to get notes on the script, toss around some ideas for the second draft, and pick up a book that was sent to my old office.  It was nice to see some familiar faces, like Bill the security guard -

Halt! Who goes there?!

 And the gang in Admin -

- who were wondering when we’d be coming back.  Well, soon.  Hopefully.

I suppose it’s only appropriate that the visit to my old stomping ground coincides with my little trip down memory lane, reflecting back on Stargate: Atlantis’s first season.

HOT ZONE (113)

Following three wide open, all-out, kick-ass episodes, we shift gears to something a little more…self-contained.  When members of the science team investigating unexplored sections of the city fall victim to a frightening contagion, Atlantis enacts security protocols, placing itself under lockdown.  It’s another great episode for McKay that lays the groundwork for future stories – first and foremost the introduction of the Asurans, the mysterious creators of the nano-virus, but also Rodney’s sister Jeannie (who will end up making a few guest appearances in the coming seasons).

Again, what really stands out for me in this episode is less the threat faced than the reactions of our heroes – specifically, John Sheppard.  In the opening two-parter, it is suggested that he’s a bit of a rebel, a loose cannon who has problems with authority.  In later episodes he shows great courage and determination in the face of danger and yet, at the same time, also demonstrates a frustratingly cavalier attitude toward his commander, Weir.  In Underground, he goes over her head by making defacto deals with the Genii.  And in this episode, he openly challenges her authority by ordering Sgt. Bates to disregard her orders. Ultimately, Sheppard gets his way and his actions end up making an already bad situation worse when his intervention allows the nano virus to spread to the mess hall and endanger the lives of everyone there. In the end, he puts HIS life on the line and his heroic actions save the day, but he is surprisingly unrepentant in his post-plague discussion with Weir.

WEIR: But you are not the one who decides what is and what is not a military situation. Now, both General O’Neill and Colonel Sumner warned me that you don’t respect the proper chain of command.

SHEPPARD: Well, sometimes I see a situation a little different than …

WEIR: No. Listen to me, John. Now, you endangered yourself and the lives of many others.

SHEPPARD: Because I thought it was the best course of action to take — and, by the way, I saved your ass.

WEIR: I know you did — but you have to trust me.

SHEPPARD: I do!

WEIR: Do you?

Sheppard is let off the hook (more or less) because he saves the day, but how different would his conversation with Weir have been had any of the individuals in that mess hall died?    Should the legitimacy of one’s actions be contingent on their results?  Please discuss.

SANCTUARY (114)

Hmmmm.

Hmmmmmmmmm.

My least favorite episode of the show’s five year run, probably the franchise’s seventeen season run.  The story plods along at an unnervingly leisurely pace and the characters act – well – surprisingly out of character.  Gone is the adorably curmudgeony McKay we’ve grown to know over the first half of the season, replaced by a miserable, humorless imposter.  Our charming anti-hero, Sheppard, meanwhile, is transformed into a lovestruck schoolboy, picnicking on Atlantis and making the moves on a woman he barely knows.  And when McKay calls him on it, Sheppard responds by almost throwing down with him.  Dude, this is Rodney.  Remember Rodney?  The guy who saved your life two episodes back?  The bulk of the episode is dedicated to entertaining the mysterious Chaya while McKay attempts to figure her out.  Eventually, he learns the truth in a reveal that is at once strange and underwhelming.  ”Yep, I’m an Ancient.”  (Cue shoulder shrug).    ”Let’s have cosmic intercourse.”

The episode is bookended by action sequences that, while exciting, don’t really make a whole lot of sense upon closer scrutiny.  Why was the jumper attacked by darts in the opening? There was mention of a possible hive ship nearby but we never see it.  And why is the planet attacked again at the end?  Is it merely an enormous coincidence that the wraith just happened upon Proculus during the events of this episode (and while Chaya was away?)?  Or have the wraith been demonstrating staggering patience by staking out the planet for generations, just waiting for an opportunity to strike?

Things bounce back in a BIG way in the next episode, Carl Binder’s brilliant Before I Sleep.

A reminder to cast your vote for your favorite Stargate mid-season two-parter for a chance to win some signed scripts.  To ensure a fairer distribution of votes, I’ll be picking a random voter from the winning mid-season two-parter AND a random voter from one of the other nominated two-parters.

Polls close next Tuesday night!

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Tagged: Atlantis, film and television, science fiction, scifi television, SF television, SGA, Stargate, Stargate: Atlantis, television

June 13, 2012: Dark Matter at Comic Con! Save Lennox the dog! Days of Stargate Past, Atlantis! The Eye and The Defiant One! Vote on our favorite Stargate mid-season two-parter for a chance to win!

It looks like I will be in San Diego for Comic Con, signing copies of my SF comic book series, Dark Matter, at the Dark Horse booth (conveniently located steps away from where former Stargate scribe Remi Aubuchon will be overseeing the action at the Falling Skies booth).  I’ll have the space for about an hour starting at 4:00 p.m. the afternoon of the 14th (after which it becomes a lemonade stand to raise money for vertiginous raccoons) so swing on by to get a comic signed, say hello to Akemi who’ll be working crowd control, have a shot at winning some awesome Stargate giveaways, and, of course, help the woozy raccoons.

Belfast receives worldwide attention – and not the good kind.  A family fights to save their dog from being euthanized by the local authorities: No Justice, No Mercy for Lennox the Dog in Belfast.  And you can go here to leave a comment: http://www.facebook.com/belfastcitycouncil

Back to our Stargate: Atlantis reminiscing…

THE EYE (111)

The big mid-season two-parter concludes in thunderous fashion.  As the storm of the century rages, Atlantis is assailed from without and within.  McKay struggles to save the city while Sheppard pulls out all the stops in an effort to save the lives of his people.  Amid all of the surprises The Eye throws at you, the biggest shock is the body count. Sheppard kills some 60+ Genii soldiers over the course of this episode, gunning down a half-dozen and then killing 55 reinforcements by raising the Atlantis shield.  One could argue that Sheppard is operating under the assumption that Kolya has executed Weir, that his actions are influenced by grief and anger, perhaps a desire for revenge.  In my mind, however, Sheppard never has a choice.  It’s kill or be killed.   For me, far more telling is not the decision to turn on the shield and kill the reinforcements but the decision to take down Ladon without killing him.  Sheppard demonstrates restraint and, in this pivotal instant, makes it clear he is not just out for revenge.  He’s a man doing everything he can to rescue his friends.

A terrific character moment for McKay as well when, in the episode’s opening moments, he actually steps in front of Weir to face down a gun-toting Kolya.  Rodney has come a long way since his introduction back in SG-1 and he continues to grow over the show’s five year run, but this moment is certainly one of the biggest steps in the evolution of his character.

As cool as the set looked with that driving rain battering the outskirts of the city, it was downright miserable for the cast and crew – but especially the cast.  It was cold, wet, and damn hard to see and hear. And, to top it all off, in one outtake that didn’t make the gag reel, actor David Hewlett was on the receiving end of an errant punch that knocked the wind out of him.  But in decidedly unMcKay-like fashion, David shrugged it off and kept right on going.

THE DEFIANT ONE (112)

Peter DeLuise’s last script for the Stargate franchise is a terrific episode with the feel of an old Western – a duel to the death between two worthy warriors, battling it out against a dusty desert backdrop.  We see a return of a life form surprisingly similar to one we’ve encountered before (back in SG-1′s Prodigy), a species that figures into a clever conclusion.

Here, we see the horrifying effects of the wraith’s feeding process – not death but pretty damn close.  Another step in the evolution of the McKay character as he wrestles between staying safe and watching over a fallen comrade, or going out and helping Sheppard.  And, when that fallen comrade takes his own life, Rodney doesn’t hesitate, putting his own life at risk to make a timely intervention and save John.

Cast your vote for your favorite Stargate mid-season two-parter for a chance to win some signed scripts.

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Tagged: Comic Books, Comic Con, Comics, Dark Matter, Dark Matter comic, science fiction, scifi television, SF, SF television, SGA, Stargate, Stargate: Atlantis

June 12, 2012: Pirates! Days of Stargate Past – Atlantis! Home and The Storm! Pick your favorite Stargate mid-season two-parter and WIN!

You know you’re in a skeevy neighborhood when a grown man tries to sell you six of his hand-drawn pirate pictures for five dollars.  I had parked the car around the corner from Akemi’s language school and was hanging around out front, waiting for her class to finish, when I was approached by a fellow who, appropriately enough, looked the swashbuckling sort with his scruffy appearance, gap-toothed grin, and big-buttoned jacket.  ”Hey, check these out,”he said, sidling up to me and flipping through a sketchbook.  ”Pretty cool.  Pirates.”  They were indeed pictures of pirates but, sadly, they were far from cool – or even competent.  Rough, half-finished, they were the type of half-ass drawings with which a three year old pirate enthusiast would surely find fault.  ”And here’s a saloon,” flipping to a sketch of a sparse chandelier, bar, and some enormous breasts in a corset.  ”You get six pictures for five dollars.  That’s a really good deal.”

As much as I admired his industrious attitude and unique angle, it all fell apart for me in the execution.  That and the fact that I wasn’t really in the market for pirate pictures.  I did have a hankering for tacos but, in all fairness, it’s doubtful I would bought some off him even if he had been selling them.

If you’re looking to score change from passersby, I think a sense of humor would go a long way…

Continuing our trip down Atlantis memory lane…

HOME (109)

My favorite episodes to write are the kind that throw the audience a curveball.  Things seems straightforward enough but, gradually, things take a turn for the weird and, slowly but surely, one begins to realize that not all is as it seems.  I’m talking about episodes like This Mortal Coil, Revelations and, of course, Home in which our heroes are presented with a means of returning to Earth, an opportunity they take only to learn they can’t go back to Atlantis.  Or so it would seem… The hints that something is amiss are subtle at first (follow Weir’s appearing/disappearing necklace) but, as the episode progresses, the clues leave no doubt that the team (and audience) are being played.

The original draft of the script had Teyla joining John on an exploration of Earth – a walk in the park, stopping for ice cream.  I loved the fish-out-of-water aspects of the sequence and the subtle suggestions of a burgeoning romance, but the network wasn’t as enthusiastic so I ended up losing those scenes in the rewrite.

Torri Higginson’s adorable dog, Sedge, makes a brief cameo in this episode, appearing as Simon’s adorable dog…Sedge.

Well into Atlantis’s fifth year, I kept pitching that we should end a season with Weir, Sheppard, McKay, Teyla, and Ford waking up on the mist planet.

THE STORM (110)

While his first Stargate script, Childhood’s End, saw Martin Gero getting a feel for the new series, these two episodes saw him hit his stride.  As far as Stargate mid-season two-parters go, I think The Storm/The Eye combo is pretty damn hard to beat.  The suspense mounts as the storm of the century approaches, Atlantis scrambles to respond and, just when it seems it can’t get any worse, enter one of Atlantis’s most fearsome villains: Acastus Kolya.  It’s Die Hard on a floating city wracked by a hurriciane as Sheppard attempts to stay one step ahead of the Genii commander who seemingly holds all the cards in holding Weir and McKay.  There are some tense moments, terrific action and, sprinkled throughout, flashes of Gero’s trademark humor. The amusing back-and-forth between McKay and Zelenka develops what will become one of the most enjoyable (to watch) working relationships in Stargate’s lengthy run.  Lord Smeadon, excised from Martin’s first draft of Childhood’s End, makes a reappearance here – with a vengeance.

So what do you guys think?  What was the greatest mid-season two-parter in Stargate history?  The nominees are:

Take Our Poll

Weigh in and then leave a comment, letting us know why you voted the way you did.  I’ll pick a random supporter of the winning two-parter and they’ll receive autographed copies of the scripts.

Polls close next Tuesday night!

Tagged: Atlantis, scifi t.v., SF television, SGA, Stargate, Stargate: Atlantis

June 11, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Batman Forever!

Batman Forever.  Well, at almost two hours running time, it sure feel dat way.  After box office suckcess of first two Batman movies, studio reward Tim Burton by replacing him as direktor and changing tone of franchise to make it less dark and more kid friendly.  Result is movie about as stoopid as Batman Returns wit bonus homoerotik subtext dat make Ernie and Bert’s housewarming party feel like pub night at de dockyard.

Performances vary.  Val Kilmer, our new Bruce Wayne/Batman, seem to be doing imitashun of a boring Michael Keaton – but, in all fairness, Michael Keaton did imitashun of a boring Michael Keaton in first two installments.  On opposite end of spektrum is Jim Carey who play Edward Nigma/Riddler with so over-de-top cartoon craziness, monster surprized he not burst a brain vessel during produktion.  Tommy Lee Jones as Two-Face try to keep up de mania but Jimmy leave him in de dust.  Chris O’Donnell play Robin, Bruce Wayne’s boy toy sidekick, Robin.  And finally, dere’s Nicole Kidman as Dr. Chase Meridien (me surprized to learn dis aktually NOT name of a bank) who show up to play role of stereotypical love interest/far-fetched intellektual/damsel in dis dress.

Val Kilmer does imitashun of his dummy at Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum…for de entire movie!

Movie open on shots of Batman suiting up, lingering on his bat nipples and giant codpiece.  It very important becuz director Joel Schumacher bookend dis embarrassing shot in final suit-up montage with lingering shot of Batman’s ass.

Yes, dey ARE happy to see you. VEEEEERY happy.

Batman jump into Batmobile (which, for some reazon, has been redezigned with a fin) and races away to save a hostage from Two-Face. On his way, he meet up with seksy Dr. Chase Meridian, a psykiatrist who, it turn out, could use a psykiatrist herself.

Batman’s sharkmobile.  When it went up for auktion, winner had to promise not to drive it in publik.  Monster guess WB didn’t want to be reminded.

Anybody worried dat dis movie will be any less stoopid dan last one will be encouraged by first aktion sequence dat make absolutely no sense. Batman gets trapped in vault wit hostage and has to use hostage’s hearing aid to pick de lock while vault fills wit acid.  Why is vault filling wit acid?  Becuz Two Face wants to make sure he kills Batman! Den why not just drop vault off side of building instead of trying to fly away wit it?  Oh, becuz Two Face wants to steal de money inside! Okay, den why is vault filling wit acid?  Oh, becuz Two Face wants to make sure he kills Batman!  Den why not just drop…

Tommy Lee Jones should know better den to get into a scenery chew-off wit Jim Carey.

Batman saves hostage, crashes helicopter into Statue of Liberty, but survives – and bad guys get away.

After blowing off loony scientist, Edward Nigma, who be working on some sort of invention involving t.v. signals and brain waves, Bruce Wayne suits up and answers bat signal.  But it turn out it a false alarm. Bat Signal not turned on by Commishiuner Gordon.  It was turned on by Chase Meridian so she can greet Batman in seksy dress.  WTF? SHE is a psykiatrist?   She so obviously crazy me convinced she really a surprize supervillain.  But it turn out monster give writer too much credit.

Bruce Wayne invite Chase Meridian for a date at de circus (?) which is being broadcast live (?).  Two Face show up and demand Batman reveal his identity or he will blow up everyone in de big top.  Bruce Wayne stands up and shouts: “I am Batman!” but nobody care becuz Tommy Lee Jones giving a far more interesting performance.  Akrobats try to stop Two Face and are all killed except (not so) young Dick Grayson who gets rid of bomb and saves everyone.  Except his family.

Bruce decide to adopt Dick – which would be okay except dat, later in movie, Batman refers to him as a “college student”, meaning he be at least 18 years old.  So Bruce Wayne trying to adopt another man!  And when Dick say he not interested, sugar daddy Bruce bribe him wit his own motorcycle.

Meanwhile, plenty of stoopid tings happen.  Batmobile races up side of building.  Edward Nigma take supervillain persona of de Riddler, inspired by a Riddler bobble-head doll.  He selling speshul t.v. dat does – monster not sure what – to people in Gotham.  Riddler drop in on Two Face and dey team up against Batman while…

Jim Carey in most restrained performance since Ace Ventura Pet Detective.

Back at stately Wayne manor, Dick show off his kung fu laundry moves. Really.  He strut his stuff, squeezing out his laundry and hanging it up on de Wayne manor clothesline – becuz, me guess, Bruce Wayne too cheap to buy a dryer.  Does he also make Alfred cook his meals over de fireplace?

Edward Nigma trows party.  He suggest Bruce try out his weird brainwave t.v.  For some reazon, brilliant Bruce Wayne tink dis is a good idea and takes him up on his offer.  Den, Two Face crash party. Batman chases him away and almost killed but saved by Dick.

Dis movie like campy 60′s t.v. version but nowhere near as smart.

Riddler and Two Face take a peek at Bruce Wayne’s stolen brainwaves and see a bat so dey figure he must be Batman becuz NOBODY else in Gotham would ever tink of a bat!  Riddler and Two Face crash Wayne manor, shoot Bruce Wayne in de head and…don’t kill him even tho that’s what they’ve been trying to do for de entire movie.  Instead, dey blow up batcave, leave a riddle and kidnap Chase.

Bruce and Alfred put their heads together and figure out Riddler’s riddles.  Each has a number.  Each number corresponds to a letter of de alfabet: MRE.  Mr. E!  Mystery!  Or another word for mystery be enigma!  Mr. Enigma!  Great and SO WHAT?!  Instead of wasting time solving riddles, why not look up in de sky where Riddler shining a giant “?” and follow de source of de “?”-signal back to his hideout?

Dick show up, now in costume (dat Alfred made for him).  Dey head out, Batman and Robin, partners!

Batman and Robin crash Riddler’s HQ.  Robin almost kill Two Face but save him instead so he captured.  Batman given choice – save Chase or Robin.  He saves both.  Den, he kill Two Face by confusing him wit multiple coins, and drive Riddler crazy by turning his brainwave machine against him.

Movie end wit Riddler at Arkham Asylum, convinced he is Batman. Bruce Wayne, meanwhile, gets de girl and live happily ever after wit Chase Meridian.  Just like he lived happily ever after wit Vicky Vale.

VERDIKT: Great set designs and costumes.  Crummy skript.  Same old story for de Batman franchise.  Mebbe dey get it right de next time.

RATING: 3 chocolate chippee cookies out of 10.

Next week, me review Mighty Morphin Power Rangers:

Monster have a feeling dis movie gonna be de shit.

 

Tagged: Batman, Batman Forever, Comic Books, Comics, Cookie Monster, Cookie Monster reviews Batman Forever, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, superhero movies, SuperMovie of the Week Club

June 10, 2012: Misery! Comic Con! Days of Stargate Past – Atlantis! Poisoning the Well and Underground!

You!  You dirty bird. You killed Atlantis Misery!

Last night, Akemi and I watched Misery.  It was her first time, my…what is it now…twelfth?  It’s my favorite Stephen King movie and last night’s screening further cemented it as one of my top ten favorite films of all time. Brilliant performances, a tightly plotted script, and some of the most excruciatingly suspenseful sequences ever committed to celluloid.  Nowadays, most horror movies are simply excuses for extended visceral sequences that, after awhile, border on the cartoonish in order to satiate the appetite of an increasingly jaded audience.  Misery, in comparison, makes masterful use of the “the build”, crafting unnerving, edge-of-your seat sequences that build in intensity, leaving the audience wondering what…when…where?  And when the answer comes, it’s horrific and, best of all, unexpected.  The race back to the room from the kitchen search, the vengeance denied by the hallway hesitation, the startled late night awakening to the looming beside visitor, the frustration of the spilled wine, the shocking shotgun blast, and the hobbling.  Oh, the hobbling.  We only really catch a glimpse of it, a fraction of a second when Annie swings her hammer and connects, but it’s damn effective.  And I would argue that seeing her heft up the hammer and swing for the other foot, even though we don’t see it connect this time, is even more disturbing.  The sequence is so unsettling that it has remained with me after so many other far gorier moments in horror filmdom have faded.  Just a perfect movie.

This is just some of the action you’ll miss if you don’t come seem me at Comic Con.

Thanks to everyone who has weighed in with their concerns regarding my planned trip to Comic Con.  Fear not, I won’t be sleeping on the streets of San Diego.  Dark Horse Comic’s New Events and Community Manager, the super-lovely Kari Yadro, has assured me she’ll be able to swing my accommodations.  Whether it’s staying at the hotel that Dark Horse has already booked or napping in Kari’s winnebago while she’s working, I think I’m covered.

Returning to my ruminations on Stargate: Atantis’s first season…

POISONING THE WELL  (107)

This was my favorite episode since the two-hour opener.  It offered a difficult moral and ethical dilemma with no easy answers and a wonderful emotional arc in Carson Beckett’s working relationship with Perna, the Hoffan scientist.  I like my endings like I like my chocolate, bittersweet, so the conclusion to this one really resonated with me. The episode also delivers one of the most unwieldy, difficult to deliver lines in Stargate history with “One hundred percent cellular penetration in all five test inoculations”!  Try saying that five times fast.

The captive wraith gets a name, Steve, only to die before we get a chance to know him.  C’est la vie.  Given the circumstances and his push to experiment on the prisoner, I found Sheppard’s “We’re gonna help you” assurance as Steve succumbs to the effects of the Hoffan drug altogether bizarre.  If anyone would have adopted this conciliatory stance, it should have been civilian Commander Weir and yet even she sees the logic in Sheppard’s arguments, acceding to his demands for experimentation.  When he first mentions it, she brings up the Geneva Convention to which Sheppard counters that if the wraith were at the Geneva Convention, they would have no doubt fed on the other participants.  Good point.  Ultimately, this enemy is not one that can be reasoned with.  Short of discovering a way for them to gain sustenance without feeding on humans (and we’ll come to that later in the series’ run), it’s kill or be killed.

There are, of course, those pro-wraithers who point out that the wraith’s actions are dictated by survival instincts.  They’re not evil. And, while that may seem true (although the obvious joy they take in torturing their prey suggests otherwise), I would point out that the Atlantis expedition and the rest of the humans in the Pegasus galaxy are simply fighting back, the result of their own survival instincts.

UNDERGROUND (108)

Given the fact the wraith target technologically advanced societies, it would make sense that certain civilizations would seek to disguise their accomplishments from the enemy.  Enter the Genii.  I liked them as a wildcard, a military society that could prove both friend and foe, depending on the circumstances.  I also liked the continued clash between the civilian and military approaches on Atlantis, something we touch on in the previous episode but really comes to the fore here in the discussions between Weir and Sheppard.  Again, Sheppard  makes sense and Weir inevitably acquiesces to his game plan on the strength of his argument, but what is particularly interesting about this ethical clash is not the debate itself but the fact that Sheppard makes a unilateral decision on dealing with the Genii BEFORE discussing it with his defacto Commander.  Not once, but twice!

Later in the episode, the Atlantis team comes clean about the wraith and warns the Genii that they were awakned as a result of their failed rescue op and subsequent murder of a queen.  Well, yes and no. Certainly yes in their minds but one could make a very strong argument that the wraith would have been awakened regardless, not because of Sheppard’s actions on the failed rescue op, but because of the information the queen draws out of Sumner: the existence of Earth and the billions of humans just waiting to be fed upon.  Of course, Sheppard wasn’t privy to the conversation and has no way of knowing that, while he may blame himself for the wraith’s early awakening, it’s likely that the wraith would have awakened anyway.

Cookie Monster would like to remind everyone that our Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes tomorrow.  Monster will be offering up his thoughts on Batman Forever, so make sure you watch it so that you can provide an informed opinion on his review.

Today’s entry is dedicated to blog regular Debra.

Tagged: film and television, Misery, scifi t.v., SF television, SGA, Stargate, Stargate: Atlantis, Stephen King, Stephen King's Misery, television

June 9, 2012: Dark Matter! Comic Con! Days of Stargate Past – Stargate: Atlantis! Suspicion and Childhood’s End!

So, the plan is to head down to San Diego for Comic Con in early July and do a signing for my comic book series, Dark Matter.  Of course, I suspect that more than a few individuals will show up to chat Stargate so, in addition to giving away copies of Dark Matter, I’ve been thinking about giving away some Stargate swag as well.  Scripts, yes. Maybe a couple of collectibles.  I’ve got that enormous box set of Atlantis’s full series run with all the special features sitting in my basement, the SG-1 100th episode  anniversary package containing the SG-1 commemorative plaque and keychain, and a couple of cool PR packages of the SGA and SGU premiere episodes (I think the SGA version contains some sort of mini aquarium).  All possibilities.  Some of you have suggested signed photos of my dogs but, to be honest, it’s hard enough getting them outside to do their business.  Signing stuff would be almost impossible.

Anyway, in (far) advance of the Dark Matter trade paperback (collecting the first four-issue arc) that comes out in October, I offer the following review of the opening arc I came across the other day: http://www.sparknotes.com/mindhut/2012/06/04/review-dark-matter-graphic-novels-volumes-1-4

Resuming our trip down SGA memory line…

SUSPICION (105)

This was Paul and my first episode of Atlantis and, looking back now, it’s amazing how many elements were put in play here.  We establish the wraith stunners, the mainland, Teyla’s stick-fighting ability, the Zelenka-McKay working dynamic, and the beginnings of Teyla’s conflicted loyalties between the Atlantis expedition and her people. There’s also the civilian vs. military divide that’s touched upon here in the scene in which Sheppard dismisses Sgt. Bates only to have Weir remind him that she, as the leader of the expedition, appointed Bates as head of security.  We also introduce the wraith self-destruct mechanism that, while interesting and effective on off-world encounters, aren’t going to enter into the equation when the teams take the fight to the hive ships.

The thing I remember most about this episode was wondering why the Atlantis away teams didn’t have designations like the away teams oeprating out of Stargate command (ie. SG-1, SG-2, SG-3).  While my writing partner, Paul, was busy thinking up lyrics for the Atlantis theme to accompany the bang-up job we’d done coming up with lyrics for the SG-1 theme (We give a rare performance here: Stargate Theme (with lyrics!) – YouTube.  Ultimately, Paul was only able to come up with: We’re in Atlantis!  We’re underwater!) I set my mind to coming up with SGA team designations.  And, I did, but the other writers balked at my First Atlantis Reconnaissance Team idea.  Clearly, they were just jealous.

 CHILDHOOD’S END (106)

Enter Golden boy Martin Gero, a young freelancer who, on the strength of his script for Childhood’s End, won himself a well-deserved staff position and then proceeded to run the table by taking ownership of the series through his multitudinous scripts (I don’t think anyone wrote more).  By the end of the show’s run, he had earned the title Mr. Atlantis.

I remember the first draft of the script included a foppish royal named Lord Smeadon who Martin had to excise for the second draft after the first round of notes.  Interestingly, Lord Smeadon was gone but not forgotten, making a curious guest appearance in The Storm, coincidentally also written by Mr. Gero.  I also remember watching the dailies one day and hearing one of the young actors utter the now infamous line “Death bird fall from sky”.  Death bird fall from sky? Why was he delivering his dialogue like the incredible Hulk?  This was also the episode where a line from one of the walla performers left us scratching our heads.  For those of you who don’t know, “walla” is the background murmurings, usually unintelligible, you hear amongst some onscreen crowd.  In the scene in which Sheppard destroys the shrine, amidst the unintelligible murmurings, we hear one performer clearly mutter: “This has never happened before!”.  Really?  You’ve never had a stranger walk through the stargate and blast your shrine away with his machine gun?  First time?  Needless to say, that particular line of walla did not make the final cut.

Anyway, Martin ended up commemorating his very first Stargate: Atlantis episode by gifting the writing staff these awesome t-shirts:

Tagged: scifi television, SF television, SGA, Stargate, Stargate: Atlantis

June 8, 2012: Dim Sum and Donuts and more Stargate: Atlantis memories!

Little known fact: the design of the Stargate was the inspired result of a late night donut binge.

Today, I met up with former Stargate creator/producer/director/writer Robert Cooper and former Stargate special features producer Ivon Bartok for an afternoon of dim sum and donuts.  Over the course of our culinary conference, we discussed past productions, pending projects, and even pitched out plans for a few potential programming possibilities.  We also ate.  A lot.  And sampled donuts from Van’s latest donuterie…

The verdict?  Well, I’d like to come back for a second round of sampling but my first impression was that the flavors of the donuts were far more muted, a lot subtler than what I’m accustomed to.  As for the PB&J, the one I was most looking forward to trying – I thought it needed more PB and less J.

Akemi insists that Vancouver’s best donuts are the ones Rob made for a recent dinner he hosted.

Rob says: “Yeah, okay, enough about the donuts. Getting back to Stargate: Atlantis and a little episode called..Hide and Seek…”

Right, right.  Stargate: Atlantis…

HIDE AND SEEK (103)

Following the big, splashy two-hour premiere that established the foundation of the new series, creators Robert Cooper and Brad Wright followed up with episodes that explored Ancient mythology and technology, gate mechanics, the city of Atlantis and, most importantly, the key members of the expedition.  Rob kicked things off with Hide and Seek which does a terrific job of mixing mystery, action, suspense, and that all-important trademark Stargate humor.  While the threat of the energy-devouring creature drives much of the story, it’s the smaller character moments that prove the most memorable: Sheppard trying to scare the Athosian children with a ghost story that only succeeds in confusing them, the team sitting down to a nice bonding moment over football, McKay’s hilarious arc that takes him from invincible to doomed.  That early scene in which John shoves Rodney over the railing only to have McKay spring back up, unscathed, is brilliant and never fails to amuse.

38 MINUTES (103)

In this episode, Brad Wright does what he does best: places his characters in a tight spot and then allows their personalities to shine through in their responses to their dire predicament.  And you’d be hard-pressed to find a tighter spot than the back of a jumper trapped just outside the gate’s event horizon.  The episode succeeds in creating a tense, claustrophobic feel but also grants the audience some much-needed respites in the form of flashbacks and cutaways that offer insight into, among other things, wraith biology, Athosian rituals, and the dynamics of the science team.

This episode introduces us to a couple of supporting players who would eventually establish themselves as forceful secondary personalities over the show’s run: Zelenka and Kavanaugh.  In truth, Kavanaugh’s prominence in this episode was, while not exactly a happy accident, the result of a need to shore up an episode that needed the extra time. The gag at the time was that 38 Minutes was a most appropriate title given that the episode was running about five minutes short.  Two scenes were subsequently added: Weir’s conversation with Kavanagh and Weir’s discussion with Halling.

Aside from that rubber bug, I thought that this was a pretty solid episode which left one big question maddeningly unanswered: What WAS Sheppard going to say to Weir in those final moments?

Hmmm.  Still thinking about doing signing at Comic Con in support of Dark Matter.  I could sandwich the trip between a visit to L.A. for some meet ‘n greets and three days in Vegas.  If I do end up going, I’d have to come up with some interesting giveaway items for any Stargate fans show happen to show.  What do you think?  Signed scripts?  Some Stargate mementos?  The first five pages of Stargate: Extinction?

Tagged: Atlantis, scifi television, SF television, SGA, Stargate, Stargate: Atlantis

June 7, 2012: Day of Stargate Past – Atlantis, Rising I and II

Whew!  Done!  For now anyway.  Today, Paul and I delivered the first draft of our SF miniseries.  The robust 204 page script is now with the studio – and, more importantly, in the hands of director Steve Barron who will be working his magic sometime in July.  Despite its four hour event status, it moves along at a mighty brisk pace.  Edge-of-your-seat stuff.  Will hopefully be able to tell you more about it in the coming weeks.

So, where we?  Ah, yes.  Continuing our stroll down SGA memory lane…

In the two part series premiere, Brad Wright and Robert Cooper deliver an opener that captures the spirit of the original series, SG-1, while simultaneously breaking new ground.  In those two hours, a new world and new characters are established, setting the foundation of a show that would run five glorious years before it’s far-too-soon conclusion.

RISING I (101)

Do you remember the first time you met your significant other?  What they were wearing?  The conversation you had?  The thoughts running through your head at the time?  Hardly?  That’s okay.  People rarely do.  However, I’m willing to bet that fans of Stargate: Atlantis remember that first hour: the introduction of the Atlantis expedition, the wondrous step through the gate to the city of the Ancients, that first meeting with the Athosians and the subsequent encounter with the wraith.  Yeah, I figured.

Actors Richard Dean Anderson and Michael Shanks guest star, helping to pass the torch – although it’d be two terrific years before they’d actually let go of it.  If there was any candidate better suited than Daniel Jackson to join Dr. Weir’s hand-picked team through the gate, I can’t think of one but, of course, we Jack needed him on SG-1.  Or, depending what fandom camp you’re in, he simply couldn’t bear the thought of Daniel being journeying so far away.

The part of Lieutenant Ford was played by former VJ Rainbow Sun Francks.  He won the role on the strength of a great audition, preceded by an equally great audition with a funny hat.  Here’s some advice for all you aspiring actors.  When it comes time to audition, know your lines, keep your hand movements to a minimum, and don’t wear a silly hat because, no matter how good you are, when other people screen your audition, all they’ll notice will be that damn hat.  Fortunately for Rainbow, we were the first ones to see the audition, recognized the talent – and also the probability that, somewhere down the lines, somebody would dismiss him  on account of his headgear – and had him re-read WITHOUT the hat.  He did – and got the part.

One of my favorite moments in Rising I comes when the Atlantis expedition steps through the gate into the City of the Ancients which has stood abandoned for millions of years – yet has an albeit dead potted plant sitting at the foot of the steps leading to the gate room.

The Atlantis gate was, theoretically anyway, an improvement on the Earth gate.  Like I said, theoretically.  While the force shield certainly trumped the Cheyenne Mountain iris, the look of the new gate always struck me as a little glitzy Vegas in comparison to the cooler, staid gate at Stargate Command.  I mean, just compare them…

The SG-1 gate

And the Atlantis gate.

See what I mean?  It’s a little…oh, that’s not right.  Hang on a sec.

Ah. Better.

The Atlantis gate also had the disadvantage of not actually being a working gate.  Before you conspiracy theorists race off to your respective forums to reprint my words as confirmation that the Stargate program does, in fact, exist (and, for the record, I neither confirm or deny its existence), by “operational”, I mean the ability to actually spin.  The gate at the SGC actually spun.  The Atlantis gate’s spin was all CG.

When the team first meets the Athosians, Teyla is introduced as “daughter of Turghan”.  But, later in the series, she names her first born Torren after her father.  So, what’s the deal?  Well, the fact that Teyla is leader of her people could suggest that the Athosians are a matriarchal society and that Turghan is, in fact, her mother’s name.  A lovely name for a young woman.

Also, gate travel implants travelers with translator nanites.  That’s why most everyone seems to speak English.

Eagle-eyed viewers will note that Elizabeth Weir’s boyfriend, Simon (Gavin Sanford), bears a striking resemblance to the late, to the late Tollan Narim, last seen getting blown up in SG-1′s fifth season episode Between Two Fires.  Teyla’s fellow Athosian, Halling (Christopher Heyerdahl), looks a lot like Pallan, that guy who lost his wife and got his mind wiped in SG-1′s seventh season episode Revisions, but looks nothing like the wraith, Todd, who would go on to play such a key role later in the series.

 

 RISING II (102)

Part 1 is the wind up and the pitch while Part 2 is the base-clearing grand slam that hits it out of the park.  The sequence of the city of Atlantis rising from ocean’s depths is one of the most stirring moments in all of Stargate.  Hmmm.  That sounds like a great idea for a future post: Top 10 Moments in Stargate History.  Well, in my books, Atlantis’s resurfacing would rank right up there.

Ah, the puddle jumpers.  Brad had been pitching the idea of these compact hips capable of gate-travel as far back as SG-1′s seventh season.  And the new show was the perfect opportunity to introduce them.  As much as I thought the SG-1 gate superior to its Atlantis counterpart, SGA jumpers beat the hell out of both the F-302′s  and those clunky cargo ships.

Ah, Jinto.  We hardly knew you.  As often happens in television, certain characters pop and are developed (ie. Where’d that Zelenka guy come from?) while others eventually fade into obscurity.  The character of Jinto has the distinction of falling into the latter category for no other reason than: 1. He was a kid and 2. He was Athosian.  While interesting, Teyla’s people became a less important part of the narrative as the series developed and so, they eventually left Atlantis to make their homes on the mainland and, later, off-world.  As for Jinto, not much is known about following the events of those early episodes. I like to think that he became a productive member of Athosian society, settling down with his long-time sweetheart and eventually fathering two boys, Torren (named after Teyla’s fathter) and Toran (named after the Athosian who the wraith queen feasts upon in this episode). Alternately, I like to imagine he spent his years deep in the bowels of Atlantis, playing an protracted game of Hide and Seek following the episode of the same name, convinced he had the best hiding place ever – until his skeletal remains were discovered by an exploratory crew sometime in season four.

Speaking of evolving elements, two particular wraith attributes are in full display in this episode but appear to fade as the series progresses. 1. When our heroes are being harassed by wraith darts, they begin to glimpse ghostly images.  We learn that these images are hallucinations being created by the wraith to confuse them.  They’re, it turns out, a weaker manifestation of the queen’s mind controlling abilities.  The reason we eventually lost this ability was because it was, essentially, a mind trick – and once it stood revealed as such, there wasn’t much traction to be gained by going back to it either for the wraith (as an effective tool to be used against us) or the writers (as a dramatic element).  2. The wraith are damn hard to kill!  It takes multiple rounds to put them down for the count.  And yet, in subsequent episodes, a couple of shots will do the trick.  What gives?  The answer: switching to more devastating armor-piercing rounds.

Tagged: Atlantis, SGA, Stargate, Stargate: Atlantis