Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 462

April 22, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Super!

Dis movie remind monster of Christmas family dinner.  It sound like a good idea and everybody expekt a good time but, instead, it end up being sad, depressing, and somebody always get hit in de head wit a big wrench.

God’s tentacles?

Movie begin wit lovable loser who happily married to woman way out of his league.  Wife suddenly come to dis realization one day and leave him to hook up wit Footloose criminal and become drug addikt.  Our hero understandably upset and, after getting beaten up by Footloose’s thugs, he inspired to become a superhero by Super Jesus t.v. show and weird trippy sekwence involving a bright lights, disembodied tentacles, and brain surgery.

Wow, de Flash really let himself go.

He design his own superhero outfit and become…Crimson Bolt!  He hang around, waiting for someting to happen, try to intervene in a crime, and get beat up.  After talking to cute girl in comic book shop, he take his cue from Batman’s bat-gadgets and make a key addition to his costume: a big frikkin’ wrench he use to hit people wit.  Dis little tweak make all de difference and soon, Crimson Bolt be taking on drug dealers, child molesters, and line cutters.

Outfit inspired by Robin. And de Oregon Ducks cheerleading squad.

Go Justice!

Up to dis point, movie vacillate, sometimes awkwardly, between darkly humorous and weirdly discomforting, but here it start veering into downer territory.  Crimson Bolt crash bad guy’s house wit his trusty big wrench only to get chased off and shot in de leg.  He seek help of girl from comic book shop who, thrilled to find out his true identity, decide to create her own outfit and become his sidekick, Bolty!

Meanwhile, Footloose’s thugs go to our hero’s house to deal wit him – and end up shooting some poor, innocent detective instead.

Prepping for the big super finish.

Armed wit guns and bombs, Crimson Bolt and Bolty attack Footloose’s house.  Bolty get half her face blasted off and killed instantly – which be de least funny ting monster have seen in a comedy since Hangover II.  De entire movie.

Dis make Crimson Bolt angrier den Grover after last call.  He shoot and blow up bad guys.  Old Batman-style sound effects flash up on screen: POW!  BAM!

He take on Footloose and get de upper hand.  Footloose pleads for his life: “You really think that killing me… stabbing me to death is going to change the world?”

To which Crimson Bolt reply: “I can’t know that for sure, unless I try!”

And he does.

Our hero saves his wife and brings her home.  And dey live happily ever after.

No.  Correction.  Our hero saves his wife and brings her home.  And she leaves him for someone else.

But our hero is happy because he convince himself dat his wife’s new kids will someday save de world.

And he has pet bunny to console him.

Verdikt: A pretty funny premise dat be very poorly executed.  Unlike Kick-Ass’s amusing cartoon over-de-top violence, de shootings, bludgeonings, and blow-ups in Super be pretty grounded and graphic, undermining most of de humor.  What could have been a great dark comedy instead end up being weird, uneven, and depressing.

Rating: 4 chocolate chippee cookies.

Tagged: Cookie Monster, Cookie Monster film reviews, Cookie Monster movie reviews, Cookie Monster reviews Super, Super, superhero movies, superheroes, SuperMovie of the Week Club

April 21, 2013: Much better! Some unfinished business!

Up and about and back at it!

What a difference a day makes.  Well, a day and five slices of pork belly slathered with gochujang chili paste.  What I had first taken to be food poisoning or the flu turned out to be something else entirely – what both Rob and Ivon suspect was a simple pork fat deficiency.

Anyway, I’m feeling much better, but an incident like the one I just experienced does cause you to stop and take stock of things – consider your mortality and prioritize.  As a result, I’ve decided to do something I should have done long ago.

Tell someone I love them?  Apologize to someone I’ve offended?  Sell my worldly possessions and travel the world?

No, silly.  Finally get around to trying out those eight recipes from that “I Make the Best Whatever” contest!

As some of you may recall, I asked you to provide recipes back in late 2010 and, following careful consideration, narrowed down the field to an Elite Eight.  But, before I could test the recipes, I was blindsided by work commitments, a sick dog, and a hilarious road trip to Toronto.

Well, I have a window of opportunity before I get the green light on that project I’ve been waiting on OR about a month to fine tune some pitches before heading down to L.A., so let’s get cookin’.  Over the next couple of weeks, I’ll be trying my hand at -

dasNdanger’s Puerco Pibil

Jeff W’s White Chocolate Cheesecake

Mark’s great Great Grandma’s Kifli

DP’s Cobbler

Alexander of Houston’s Pork Tenderloin

Sparrow_hawk’s Chicken Breast with Brown Butter and Fried Sage Leaves

And Shiny’s Sancocho and Tim Lade’s Chocolate and Peanut Butter Bread Pudding.

I have the recipes for the sancocho, the cobbler, the kifli, the white chocolate cheesecake, the chicken breast with brown butter and sage leaves, and the puerco pibil.  I’m missing two: the pork tenderloin and the peanut butter bread pudding.

So, let’s kick things off on Tuesday.  I’ll post one of the recipes on this blog and we’ll all have the week to make it. The following Tuesday, we’ll discuss our successes (and potential failures) and move on to the next recipe.

Come on!  Who’s with me?!

April 20, 2013: Under the weather…

Headache.  Nausea.  Fatigue.  I’m either coming down with something, ate something that didn’t agree with me, or that painful ouchie I assumed was a splinter was actually the bite of some bizarre, possibly radioactive, spider.

I forget now.  What were the symptoms Peter Parker experienced after his accident?  Headache, nausea and fatigue – and then eventually super-strength, super-agility, and wall crawling ability?  I don’t feel all that stronger.  In fact, just the opposite.  And I haven’t tested any new leaping ability for fear I may vomit.  Hey, maybe this is what spidey sense feels like.  Maybe it’s warning me about something…  Something. But what?

Maybe the fact that I’m coming down with something!

I took a little nap this afternoon and ended up experiencing a fever dream that, ironically, went – more or less – something like this:

Replace that insect guy with Zenith the albino and that was pretty much it.

Tonight, Akemi prepared dinner – the perfect meal for an ailing boyfriend with stomach problems:

Congee

And pork belly.

Finally, we did manage to make it out for a few hours this morning so let’s cap this blog entry with some pics of the dogs at the park:

Jelly

Bubba

Lulu

April 19, 2013: Akemi’s Birthday Festivities!

Yesterday was Akemi’s birthday.  I had the whole day planned weeks in advance.  As it turns out, months in advance as I learned too late that I’d actually booked us for a visit to the dentist back in October. And so, after dropping the dogs off at doggy daycare, we kicked off Akemi’s special day by having our teeth cleaned.  On the bright side, upon discovering it was her birthday, our dentist presented Akemi with a few gifts: a pink toothbrush, toothpaste, and floss.

Since we had big dinner plans, we opted for a light lunch.  Relatively speaking.  We headed over to Rodney’s Oyster House where we enjoyed…

A dozen oysters on the half-shell.  Surprised?

The Manhattan Clam Chower for Akemi.

And the oyster po’boy for me – possibly my favorite sandwich. As much as I love haute cuisine, I have to admit nothing beats a po’boy.

After lunch, it was time for our couple’s massage at the Wedgewood Hotel spa compliments of sis and Daisy in Montreal.  Akemi enjoyed it immensely, declaring it the best massage she’s had in Vancouver.  As for me…meh.    I was actually more tense and sore AFTER my massage. Also, what’s the proper etiquette on underwear?  I keep mine on. Akemi is more of a free spirit.  Thus, I was inside the sauna wearing a bathrobe over my towel over my underwear, standing by the door so that I could keep an eye on my belongings outside (since no locker was provided) and give Akemi the heads up if someone was coming.  It was NOT particularly relaxing.  Also, I found it odd that we weren’t offered flip-flops and ended up having to walk around barefoot.

Still, it was Akemi’s day and she loved her massage.  And that was the most important thing.  Outside of the lack of flip-flops.

We picked up the dogs, fed them, and then it was downtown for Akemi’s birthday dinner at her favorite Japanese restaurant: Minami. It, and its sister restaurant, Miku, specialize in aburi (flame-seared sushi) and are part of a restaurant group headquartered in Japan. Most of its sushi and kitchen staff are Japanese.  In terms of quality and service, it’s the closest you can get to the Japanese dining experience without actually visiting Japan.  But I wanted to go one step further.   Aware that the restaurant sourced some of its fish from Tokyo’s famed Tsukiji Market (along with the freshest local catches and ingredients), I contacted one of the managers and arranged to have some more unique selections shipped in for the occasion….

As per my request, we were seated at the sushi bar.  There, we were welcomed by Chef Hiroshi Hoshiko who, along with Chef Hideto-san, ensured we were well taken care of.

Dinner was fantastic, reminiscent of the many fine meals I’ve enjoyed in Tokyo.

We started with an appetizer trio: Japanese broccoli and clam, tuna tartar-stuffed ravioli and apple, prawn ohitashi (marinated in sweet vinegar).  Then, we moved on to the sashimi plate that included:

Aji (horse mackerel) tartar “namero”, aji, tuna, and two kinds of hirame (flounder).  The aji was the best I’ve had outside Tokyo and the textural differences in the two hirame cuts – one mouth-in-your-mouth tender, the other firmer but no less delicious – were terrific.

Next up -

Grilled snow crab with (cooked) tuna in what Akemi believed was a sweet and savory soy and sugar-based sauce.  Marvelous.

While we were eating, we noticed the chefs discussing the multicolored contents of a glass container.  They noticed our interest and presented us with some “kosen” -

Japanese puffed rice used in -

Ochazuke.

It was very kind of them to share.  The rice was a gift to Chef Hiroshi-san from his mother in Japan.

The next course was a heavy hitter:

Red miso-braised pork with potatoes, peas, and crisp enoki mushrooms.

My description doesn’t do it justice.  A tender, well-marbled, incredible dish.

Intermission -

Shiso and champagne granita palate cleanser with gold leaf.

And then, it was on to the sushi.  We were served a variety of fabulous nigiri.  A few of the highlights -

Tai (snapper) with sakura (cherry blossom) salt.

Bonito!  First time I’ve enjoyed it outside of Tokyo.

Sayori from the southern coasts of Japan.

Anago (sea eel)!  Much more delicate than its more common (unagi) counterpart.

Toro toro!  Another melt-in-your-mouth wonder.

In addition, we were served a traditional grilled snapper collar followed by a miso soup.  We finished with…

A delicate yuzu cake served with a light ginger ice cream, orange compote and pistachio foam.

Best Dinner of the Year.  I honestly felt like I was back in Tokyo.  Very nastukashii.

A big thank you to our sushi chefs, Hoshiko-san and Hideto-san, and chefs Kazuki Uchigoshi and Michael Acero who conceived and created our special meal.  And, of course, an equally big thanks to Minami Event Coordinator Karen Lau who made it happen.

Minami Restaurant — Yaletown Vancouver

But wait!  There’s more!  We returned home for the piece de resistance -

Akemi’s birthday cake!

Chocolate + Caramel: Flourless chocolate cake with dark chocolate cremeux, milk chocolate mousse, hazelnut chantilly, milk jam, and chocolate covered hazelnuts.

Compliments of Beta 5′s Adam Chandler.  Wow!

BETA5 – Award-Winning Chocolates and Pastries – Vancouver, BC

Then, tonight, on the menu…

Oysters on the half-shell, port-braised short ribs, pork belly appies, sweet potato mash, and quinoa salad.

And friends.

Akemi thanks you all for the birthday wishes!

Tagged: Beta 5, Minami Restaurant

April 18, 2013: Happy Birthday, Akemi! News of Note!

After a couple of duds, I’ve discovered my new favorite show: Boardwalk Empire.  I was told the first season was slow but I thought it terrific and am now halfway through the second season.  By the time I finish up season 3, I’ll be able to transition right into the third season of Game of thrones after which it’ll be the final season of Breaking Bad.  

Anybody else find the Spartacus series finale an incredible downer on several levels: Gannicus, Crassus, Caesar, and, of course, Spartacus? There was talk of perhaps doing a spinoff based on the Caesar character – but given how reprehensible his portrayal, gloating over the torture and deaths of men and women, I find it hard to imagine him in the role of hero.

Big conference call tomorrow to discuss potential Plan B.  I’ve got the sunscreen on standby!

Akemi’s birthday festivities are underway!  A complete rundown on all the Special Day Fun in tomorrow’s blog entry.  But for today, let’s focus on some News of Note…

Pursuant to yesterday’s blog entry…http://www.wikihow.com/Tell-the-Difference-Between-Nerds-and-Geeks.  Yep, definitely more geek than nerd.  

When your ant colony packs up and leaves your bedroom, it’s time to panic: Ants can sense earthquakes a day in advance – The Times of India

Also, apparently it’s bad manners to pour bottled water on your waiter in Italy: 10 surprising ways to offend people in other countries | Watch the video – Yahoo! Finance Canada

Oh, I noticed: 36 Plot Holes You Never Noticed in Famous Movie Scenes

Another pet food recall: http://www.montrealdogblog.com/16917/dry-dog-food-recall-canada/

Help find these individuals: THE FBI WANTS THESE MEN

Help out some animals in need..

Save Dutch

Help Save Kannon, Thunder and Sarge

Ten Ways to Help Animals in Labs : The Humane Society of the United States

Advocate for Saving Dogs

April 17, 2013: Geek Cred!

“You are geek,” Akemi informed me.

Me?  A geek?  Surely she was mistaken.  I’ve never played World of Warcraft.  I’m not technologically savvy.  And my facebook timeline isn’t one endless stream of Dr. Who-related updates.  But, upon further reflection, I can see how certain of my interests, past and present, could lead the dispassionate observer to conclude as much.

Geek?  Pseudo-geek?  Misunderstood innocent?  You decide…

COMICS!

Like many kids, I grew up reading comic books.  Unlike many adults, however, I continue to read them.  Sure, my tastes may have changed, but still, every Wednesday I’m like a kid in a, er, comic shop.

DUNGEONS & DRAGONS

I may have never played World of Warcraft, but I was a huge gamer when it came to its predecessor, THE role-playing game of the 80′s, D&D.  While my charming goblin thief, Delfoss Draco, ran roughshod over unwary NPC’s, my parents fretted over all that time wasted (and classes unwittingly missed).  My best friend’s folks, similarly frustrated, responded by locking up his Dungeon Master Guide and player stats in the family safe.

SCIENCE FICTION (LITERATURE)

I was introduced to the classics by my mother who sought to foster my love for books at an early age.  While my elementary school classmates were playing hockey, I was home reading Asimov, Bradbury, and Clarke.

SCIFI TELEVISION

Sure, looking back now the productions were mighty cheesy, but there’s something endearing about those old scifi shows that cause me to stop and watch every time I’m channel surfing.  Brain and brain. What is brain?

SF FILM

Yes, I was a huge fan of SF films, especially the grandaddy of them all – Star Wars – which I must have seen about twenty times as a kid. When I wasn’t going to the movies, I was staying at home, catching the Saturday creature double feature that spotlighted the very best (and worst) in Hollywood scifi.  Anyone remember Battle Beyond the Stars?  The Green Slime?  Gamera?

ANIME

What started as a practical exercise – a desire to learn Japanese AND identify some potential live-action t.v. properties – turned into a expensive, time-consuming hobby.  My anime library now boasts over 3000 titles.

COLLECTIBLES

My crawlspace is packed full of toys, action figures and, of course, a staggering number of supervillain statues.

Hmm.  Now that I think about it, yes, I do have some Geek Cred – certainly enough to help me get by in the event I need to go undercover among them.

P.S. Luis811 – I’m not ducking your questions.  It all comes down to timing – when I decide to do a mailbag and how far back through the comments section I decide to go.  But to answer your last question: Yes, I have seen Phantasm.  And the ending did scare me as a kid.  But

April 16, 2013: Dark Matter developments! Mailbag! My dog eating kale chips!

First things first!  My french bulldog, Lulu, eating kale chips.  Please raise volume to maximum before viewing:

One of the worst kept secrets on this blog has been the identity of that scifi series Paul and I have been trying to set up.  As many of you know, back when we were working on Stargate, we started developing our own SF series in the hopes of rolling right into production with the same crew if and when Stargate ever ended.  The only problem at the time was that there was no end in sight.  Every time we thought Stargate would close up shop, the show would get picked up for another season.  It was a classy problem that allowed us to really flesh out the concept and characters of this prospective new show.

Unfortunately, when Stargate did end, the timing proved difficult. Instead of taking advantage of our terrific Stargate crew, we ended up having to put our project on hold while we took a job in Toronto.  But rather than relegate it to the back burner, we thought of an interesting way to go – and a great way to help sell the show.  We hooked up with Dark Horse Comics and launched the series idea as a comic book.

The first four issues of Dark Matter garnered great reviews and, when the trade paperback came out in October, we used it as a calling card. Having worked in development, I was aware of, and wanted to draw on, the added appeal of an established property.  Also, half the battle of pitching is to help a potential buyer imagine the project you have created – and I could think of no better pitch document than that trade paperback.

We went out with a story backed by some fantastic visuals compliments of artist Garry Brown and colorist Ryan Hill.  The response was incredibly positive.  Even more so after Paul and I delivered the pilot script.  Still, my concern was the budget, making sure we had enough money to do it properly (visual effects don’t come cheap after all!), so I was heartened by word from our producing partner today that the response in Europe has been equally great.

Now all that remains is for that final piece of the puzzle to fall into place.  Yes, we’ve been waiting a while but all indications are we’ll be receiving word soon.  If it’s positive, then things are going to get very busy very quickly.  If it’s not, then we’ll have to go elsewhere for that final piece – which will, of course, delay things.

But hopefully it all comes together as expected.  And, once it does, dare I say it…

No, better not.

Mailbag:

shinyhula writes: “And why no zombies on this list? Night of the Living Dead, 28 Weeks Later, Zombieland; what have the unliving done to deserve your scorn?”

Answer: I was listing Scariest Endings and, off the top of my head, none of the zombie entries came to mind.  Well, now that I think of it, maybe the original Night of the Living Dead would have been a good candidate.

ancuetas writes: “Is that you know what music is there at the beginning of the video.”

Answer: This piece of music, from SG-1′s Demons, was before my time (I joined the show in its fourth season), but it’s safe to assume that it was composed by the late, great Joel Goldsmith.

dasndanger writes: “Also, this whole thing with the shutting down of cell towers in cases like this? That’s why I still have a corded old timey landline tele-o-phone.”

Answer: Hmmm.  Good point.  I haven’t had a landline in four years.

RLAVILLA writes: “Recently there have been two new Stargate games for Android and iPhone, and I think that will be the new product line, which has been selected by MGM for Stargate franchise. How about converting “Stargate Extinction” in a game for these new platforms?”

Answer: Not my call.  That would be for the studio to decide.

Jen writes: “A tad random, but I went in on my birthday to have this done but the artist was booked up so I had it done yesterday.”

Answer: Great.  But I insist you draw the line at one of those Jaffa forehead tattoos.

baterista9 writes: “Just saw Cookie on Saturday at Sea World of Texas.”

Answer: Yes, he was there for his cousin Esmerelda’s wedding.

fsmn36 writes: “But the entire movie plays off the alcoholic!Tony arc from the comics and the Rhodey scene makes 20x more sense when you consider Tony is basically planning on suicide/knows he’s going to die. What seems a tacky action scene becomes a heart breaking fight between friends while Tony desperately gives everything he loves away to the few people that matter to him.”

Answer: Sounds terrific.  Unfortunately, none of that came across onscreen.

gforce writes: “Did you ever take Akemi up to Whistler yet? You should take her out to a nice dinner or even a weekend up there!”

Answer: I retired my krazy karpet years ago.

Seth writes: “How hard would it be to get the cast on board for a Kickstarter for the series or movies? Looks as if Veronica Mars just got 5.5 million in Kickstarter funds from fans!”

Answer: 5.5 million may seem like a lot, but consider that the previous SG-1 movies cost 7+ million each to produce – and those productions made use of existing sets and production personnel.

Tam Dixon writes: “Did you try one of the dog cookies for quality control? You did, didn’t you?”

Answer: I didn’t, but someone I know (hint: she’s Japanese) DOES taste test for quality control.

Tam Dixon also writes: “Anyways, what about another trip? New York, L.A. or maybe even go down South. I wouldn’t recommend Memphis, unless you bring a gun but what about New Orleans or Savannah, GA?”

Answer: Akemi definitely wants to go to New York and, after reading Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, I’ve wanted to check out Savannah.  That said, both L.A. and Vegas are closer and more likely short trip destinations.  This, of course, is entirely dependent on our finding a dog sitter.

astrumporta writes: “I think you should bring Akemi to San Francisco for her b-day!”

Answer: It’s also on the list.  Good eatin’!  How goes, Michelle?

pennlynn writes: “You’re brave man Joe! I like having a nice drink but other than the whiskey I’m not sure I would try that haul of liquor!”

Answer: I tried the Nikka whiskey with Lawren last night when he came over for the American Horror Story marathon.  It was damn good, and much better straight up than on the rocks.  How went the t.v. interview?

Tagged: comic, Dark Matter, Dogs, french bulldog, french bulldogs, science fiction, scifi television, SF, SF television

April 15, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Iron Man 2!

Monster like to rate sekwels on what me call de Sliding Celebrity Sibling Scale.  It start at Clint Howard and go all de way up to Mark Wahlberg.  Given how much me enjoy first Iron Man, me expect Iron Man 2 to be a real Stephen Baldwin.  But it surpass monster’s expektations and, initially, me consider it a solid Casey Affleck.  But, in preparing dis review and after further reflektion, me have to downgrade it to a Randy Quaid.

Iron Man catches Saturday Night Fever

Iron Man 2 pick up not long after first Iron Man end.  U.S. government mad at Tony Stark because dey want to militarize his tech.  Tony refuse and, instead, he do what regular folk do to blow off steam: drink, sleep around, and race in de Monaco Grand Prix.

Maybe he should stick to Nascar.

Unfortunately, race interrupted by crazy Russian played by Mickey Rourke who, again, be typecast as evil genius.  Motivated by family revenge, he attack Tony wit…er…super electric whips.  But he get his ass beaten because Tony able to change into his Iron Man suit.  And, also, because he be armed wit…er…super electric whips.

Who else would you get to play part of brilliant scientist?

Russian sent away to prison but later busted out by Tony’s business rival, Justin Hammer, who evidently have desperate need to fill sociopathic affirmative action position within his company.  While Justin leave Russian free hand on his technologies…

Tony continue love-annoy relationship with Pepper Potts who he appoint new Stark Industries CEO.  Sekwel offer some great scenes between dese two and also his chauffeur/bodyguard/director Happy Hogan.  All in all, dialogue in dis movie be as sharp as a super electric whip.  Dat’s pretty sharp!  

In another interesting subplot dat go absolutely nowhere, we learn Tony suffering from blood toxicity caused be his own suit.  Being Iron Man is killing him.  Literally!  It be a great dilemma dat, sadly, given short shrift and too easily addressed before movie’s end.

Nat from accounts receivable.

Another subplot involve Natahsa Romanoff (aka Black Widow) who be working undercover at Stark Industries to assess Tony.  Her presence in dis movie, along wit a couple of scenes involving Nick Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D., do nothing to advance de story and only serve to set up future Avengers movie.  And give fanboys boners.  

At one point, Tony get so drunk he end up facing off against his best buddy, Rhodey.  In full battle gear!  It be one of de most ridikulous sekwences in dis movie and feel like an attempt to address a producer’s skript note: “De second act be kind of dragging.  We need to insert some aktion.  Who cares if it not make any sense.”

Because he show poor judgement (if dat what you call almost killing a bunch of innocent bystanders) Tony put under house arrest. Meanwhile, Justin Hammer make big demonstration  showing off his new line of iron suits to be purchased by U.S. military – and modeled by Rhodey.

BUT Russian somehow (Hey, me already mention he be a genius) hack into iron suits and sic dem on Iron Man.  

Big aktion sekwence ensues!  Iron Man vs. Rhodey.  Iron Man vs. iron suits.  Iron Man and Rhodey vs. iron suits.  Iron Man and Rhodey vs. Crazy Russian.

Movie end wit a medal ceremony, rooftop kiss, and misplaced god paraphenalia.

Verdikt: Great performances, dialogue and aktion sekwences undone by weak plotting.  Dis sekwel be less Beau Bridges and more Brian Doyle Murray.   

Rating: 6.5 chocolate chippee cookies.

Tagged: Comic Books, Comics, Cookie Monster, Cookie Monster film reviews, Cookie Monster movie reviews, Cookie Monster reviews Iron Man 2, film reviews, Iron Man, Iron Man 2, superhero movie reviews, superhero movies

April 14, 2013: Weekend highlights!

So how was your weekend?  What did you do?  Something exciting no doubt.  Do tell!

It was a quiet two days on my home front.  I finished reading three books, started watching the second season of Boardwalk Empire, worked on the new pilot outline, almost sold my car, attended a French bulldog meet-up, and added some unique bottles to my weird liquor collection, among them -

Absinthe. I’m going to need to pick up some sugar cubes!

Nikka Japanese whisky which, I’ve been told, is crazy-good.

Root – inspired by an 19th century medicinal – whose ingredients include birch bark, black tea, and sassafras.

So, who’s up for a sampling?

Oh – and, of course, no weekend would be complete without a visit to the Baker’s Market…

This weekend’s haul from the local Baker’s Market includes: four kinds of brownies, chocolate waffles bites, butter tarts, peanut butter whoopie pie, flourless chocolate cake, and salted caramels.  Oh, and macarons from our old friends at J’Adore les Macarons…

Yep, should time me over ’til Tuesday.

To ensure the dogs didn’t feel left out, Akemi did some baking of her own…

Dog cookies: peanut butter animal-themed and sweet potato and yogurt.

Peanut butter dog cookies in a variety of shapes: tomatoes, edamame, eggs, broccoli, monster octopi and, of course, shrimp tempura.

Tomorrow: More work on the pilot, a date with my accountant, a Lawren comes over for the third round of American Horror Story, season 2.  Also, Akemi’s birthday plans continue to come together. Suggestions?  A big floppy sun hat?  Tap lessons?  A new dog?

April 13, 2013: Scariest Endings!

Akemi has decided she wants to invite some friends over for a movie night next week and asked me to recommend a good horror film.  I thought about it and realized that my favorites, the ones that left a lasting, unsettling, impression, always did two things well: they built to a horrifying climax and then punctuated it with a chilling final scene. It’s not how you start; it’s how you finish.  And, nowadays, most every horror movie aspires to that shocking closer, the twist or heart-stopping surprise that will have the audience jumping out of their seats.  Unfortunately, modern audiences are pretty savvy.  They’ve caught on to what have become the expected cliches (The killer is just playing dead!  It was all a dream/NO IT WASNT!  The ghost/killer/demon appears in the mirror!) so spooking them has become a lot harder.  Still, occasionally, they do succeed in burning that last terrible image into your memory.  What follows are a few of my personal favorites…

[REC]

This Spanish entry into the found footage sub-genre delivers some great scares in the form of a television reporter investigating the mysterious outbreak at an apartment building.  Our intrepid reporter ends up on the wrong side of a quarantine and, pretty soon, she becomes the story.

INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS

A rare SF entry to this list, this film tells the tale of a near-future Earth under attack by alien life forms capable of assuming human guise.  The paranoia and suspense are ratcheted up as survivors attempt to stay one step ahead of the suddenly all-too-familiar invaders.

FREAKS

An unsettling film on many levels, this black and white shocker is set in a circus where a scheming opportunist runs afoul of the wrong folks.

CARNIVAL OF SOULS

Many movies have since mined the same twist, but Carnival of Souls was the first one to do it – and, more importantly, the first I saw do it. A woman survives a car crash and soon after finds herself the target of bizarre forces.

BURNT OFFERINGS

I have a soft, terror-filled spot in my heart for horror movies from the 70′s, particularly this one.  Oliver Reed, Karen Black, and Bette Davis are the unfortunate family members charged with the caretaking of a gothic estate.

DARK WATER

A single mother discovers a water stain on the ceiling of her apartment. Her curiosity about the upstairs tenant leads her to learn of the disappearance of a little girl…

THE SENTINEL

Another 70′s entry and another one involving a young woman moving into a suspect apartment.  The ending kept me awake for nights – and scanning tenement windows for staring nuns.

JU-ON

A Japanese twist on the haunted house motif.  When I first sat down to watch this movie, the person who was with me at the time was so freaked out she made me turn it off.  If this movie taught me anything, it’s that in addition to checking under your bed before you go to sleep, you may also want to check under your covers.

THE SHINING

A classic full of wonderfully chaotic/terrifying imagery: the blood, the twins, the woman in the bathtub, the guy in the pig mask and, of course, that final haunting photo…

SPOORLOOS

A man, desperate to find out what became of his missing, learns too late he should’ve left well enough alone.

CARRIE

Another classic, and one of the first to teach us:  It aint over ’til it’s over!  And even then…

RINGU

The remake was surprisingly good, but nothing beats the original – and the first time Sadako makes her big appearance.  This movie will make you think twice the next time you consider peeking down that dark well.

DON’T LOOK NOW

A family mourning the death of their daughter visits Venice.  As a serial killer stalks the city’s dark canals by night, the grieving father believes his recently deceased daughter, in her tell-tale red raincoat, is visiting him from beyond the grave.

THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT

A trio of teens get lost in the woods – and horror ensues. Groundbreaking at the time, it has been oft-copied, but none have come close to capturing the dread of that final image.

So, those were my picks.  Weigh in with your thoughts and selections!

Tagged: Burnt Offerings, Carnival of Souls, Carrie, Dark Water, Don't Look Now, Freaks, horror films, horror movies, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Ju-On, Ringu, scariest endings, scariest horror film endings, scariest horror movie endings, Spoorloos, The Blair Witch Project, The Sentinel, The Shining, [REC]