Xan West's Blog

Writing Awards to Consider as an Indie Author of Romance/Erotica

This is a partial list of potential writing awards that indie writers of romance and erotica might consider submitting their work to. I am not specifically endorsing any of these awards, my goal is to share information about them so that you can decide for yourself whether it might be worth submitting your work. If your work is cross-genre, you might consider SFF, children’s literature, or mystery/crime fiction awards as well. Here’s a general list of awards to explore.

I’m listing these now, early in the year, because in my experience it takes planning to submit to some of these awards as an indie writer, not only because you may need to budget for cost, but also because you may decide to do a print run for a book you want to submit or may want to adjust your release date so you can submit. So even though most of these deadlines just passed, now is a good time to be thinking about your 2020 releases. As an indie author, you decide what makes the most sense for you, weighing costs and potential outcomes, but I would encourage marginalized authors: don’t self reject.

(post last updated 2/5/20)
Ripped Bodice Awards for Excellence in Romantic Fiction (Ribbies)

Nominations are currently CLOSED for the 2020 awards.

2019 awards will be announced 2/14/20


 Eligibility:

Book must be originally published in the year in question
Book must be a romance novel (central love story, happy ending)


There is no formal submission process; books are selected by a panel that is very familiar with the books being released in the genre. Authors can submit books for consideration.
No deadline for nominations as there is no formal process
No cost to authors
No specific categories, all subgenres and lengths are considered in one group
Winners receive $ honorarium

RITA Award (RITAs)

The 2020 RITA awards have been cancelled and the award is being revamped.

Lambda Literary Awards (Lammys)

Nominations are currently CLOSED for the 2020 awards.

2019 finalists announced in March 2020
2019 awards will be announced 6/8/20
Current submissions for the 2019 awards


Eligibility:

Judged principally on literary merit and content relevant to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer lives.
Open to all authors regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity except in the case of the special awards
Must be published in English
Self-published books are eligible
Books available only in e-book format are not eligible. There must be a print edition. First print edition of previously published ebooks are eligible.
First US printings are eligible if prior printing outside the US was not submitted fot the award.
Unpublished play manuscripts are eligible, as long as the play has received a full production of at least 8 consecutive shows in the given year.


The author or publisher can submit a book for one category only.
Deadline is 11/15 of the year in question
Cost for submission: $50 per book (publishers submitting more than 11 books get discounted fee of $45)
Winners of special awards receive $ honorarium.
Categories are adjusted based on number of submissions. More info.

LGBTQ Anthology
LGBTQ Children’s/Young Adult
LGBTQ Drama
LGBTQ Erotica
LGBTQ Graphic Novel
LGBTQ Nonfiction
LGBTQ Science Fiction/Fantasy/Horror Studies
Lesbian General Fiction
Lesbian Memoir/Biography
Lesbian Mystery
Lesbian Poetry
Lesbian Romance
Gay General Fiction
Gay Memoir/Biography
Gay Mystery
Gay Poetry
Gay Romance
Bisexual Fiction
Bisexual Non-Fiction
Bisexual Poetry
Transgender Fiction
Transgender Non-Fiction
Transgender Poetry
Other specialized awards



Bisexual Book Awards (BBA8)

Nominations are currently CLOSED for the 2020 awards.

They generally open in the fall, but you may be able to request a form for early submission.
Finalists for 2019 awards will be announced April 2020
2019 Awards announced June 2020


 Eligibility:

Any book with a bisexual/pansexual or bi+ character, bisexual storyline, bisexual subject matter or bisexual themes.
The book award categories are open to all authors regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity.
Books should be first published in print in the year in question.
Books should be published in English.
Books must be published in print: not only e-book format. Print-on-Demand counts as “in print.”
Single short stories are not eligible.


Anyone can suggest a book, but only the author, publisher or Bi Writers Association (BWA) can nominate a book.
Deadline is 12/2 of the year in question
Cost for nomination: $30 per book
Categories are adjusted/eliminated based on number of nominees. More details.

Bisexual Non-Fiction
Bisexual Memoir/Biography
Bisexual Fiction
Bisexual Romance
Bisexual Erotic Fiction
Bisexual Speculative Fiction [Sci-fi/Bi-fi/Fantasy/Paranormal/-Horror/Etc.]
Bisexual Teen/Young Adult Fiction/Non-Fiction
Bisexual Mystery
Bisexual Poetry
Bisexual Anthology
Bisexual Graphic Novel/Memoir
Bisexual Playscript



Golden Crown Literary Society Awards (Goldies)

Nominations are currently OPEN for the 2020 awards. 

2019 Finalists announced May 2020
Winners announced at annual conference July 2020
Current list of 2020 nominees


Eligibility:

Significant themes, characters, situations, and/or other lesbian-oriented content
Currently available
First published within the year
All formats ok (hardback, paperback ebook)
Self pubbed ok
Meets length requirements for category (novels are 40k+)


Anyone can nominate
Rolling deadlines (depending on when book is published, it may have a different deadline
Cost for nomination: $35 print book, $30 ebook, additional $30 for debut novel category, $15 for the popular choice awards–Ann Bannon (books) and Tee Corrine (cover art) categories
Categories stay the same but the number of winners for each is determined by the number of nominees. More info.

Fiction Anthologies/Collections
Contemporary Romance: Short Novels
Contemporary Romance: Mid-Length Novels
Contemporary Romance: Long Novels
Erotic Novels
General Fiction

Historical Fiction

Humorous Novels

Mystery/Thriller/Crime

New Adult Fiction

Paranormal/Occult/Horror

Romantic Blend
Science Fiction/Fantasy
Young Adult Fiction
Non-fiction Anthologies/Collections
General Non-fiction

Poetry Anthologies/Collections

Publishing Triangle Awards (more info)

Nominations are currently CLOSED for the 2020 awards. 

2019 Finalists announced March 2020
Awards given April 23, 2020


Eligibility:

First published within the year
Must be published in print


Anyone can nominate
Deadline Dec 2 of the year
Winners receive $ honorarium
Cost for nomination: Current, dues paying, individual members of the Publishing Triangle may enter 1 book in one category for free. Current, dues paying, corporate members of the Publishing Triangle may enter up to 8 books for free; additional submissions are $40 per book.
To join and then submit, fill out membership form and send it in. The use the submissions form. Membership is $40.
Categories stay the same but the number of winners for each is determined by the number of nominees. More info.

Bill Whitehead Award for Lifetime Achievement
Randy Shilts Award for Gay Nonfiction
Judy Grahn Award for Lesbian Nonfiction
Audre Lorde Award for Lesbian Poetry
Thom Gunn Award for Gay Poetry
Edmund White Award for Debut Fiction
Publishing Triangle Award for Trans and Gender-Variant Literature
Betty Berzon Emerging Writer Award






Living in Leather Literary Awards (formerly known as
NLA Writing Awards)

Nominations are currently CLOSED for the 2020 awards. 

2019 Finalists announced April 2020
Awards given at the Living in Leather meeting August 2020


 Eligibility

Nominated works should foster education and promote awareness and a positive image of the kink community. 

Geoff Mains – Non-Fiction

~ 20,000 – 100,000 words
Print or ebook ok, can be anthology. No website only formats.
Kink/leather/BDSM lifestyle focus



Samois – Poetry

~150 -~1,500 words
Ballad, epic or free verse
Erotic
Kink/leather/BDSM lifestyle focus



John Preston – Short Fiction

~ 2,000 – 20,000 words
No website only formats or personal blogs. Can be published in an anthology, magazine, online news site or self published print or ebook formats.
Kink/leather/BDSM lifestyle focus



Cynthia Slater – Non-Fiction Article

~ 1,000 – 4,000 words
No website only formats or personal blogs. Can be published in an anthology, magazine, online news site or self published ebook formats.
Kink/leather/BDSM lifestyle focus



Pauline Reage – Novel

~ 20,000 – 100,000 words
Print or ebook ok. No website only formats.
Kink/leather/BDSM lifestyle focus




Anyone can nominate
Deadline is 12/31 of the year in question
Cost for nomination: $10 per item nominated

 

 

A Piece of the RWA Puzzle

I’ve been thinking about all that’s been happening with RWA, the recent actions of the Board and the stories that are coming out now about the ways marginalized people have been treated by this organization, and I think it’s really useful in these situations to gather pieces of the puzzle in order to parse patterns. So I want to share one of my own pieces of the puzzle, to aid others in seeing the pattern that I’m watching emerge. It feels like it’s time.

Inspired by Suz Brockmann’s speech at the RITA ceremony and by the inclusion work that I’d been hearing about for some time, I applied for membership to RWA in July 2018. I submitted earlier versions of Nine of Swords, Reversed and Their Troublesome Crush for the membership requirement of “proof of serious pursuit” of a career in romance writing.

A couple weeks later—on my 45th birthday, in fact—I received a response to my submission for the “proof of serious pursuit” of a career in romance writing requirement, stating that the files I uploaded were not romance fiction. It went on to list the criteria, which I’m including here:

A Central Love Story
An Emotionally Satisfying and Optimistic Ending
Minimum word count of 20,000 words (can be from a combination of shorter works)
Each work must be a complete work of romance fiction.

The email stated my member type would remain Associate-Writer, entitling me to all member benefits except voting or holding office at the national or chapter level.

I sent an email in response: “I submitted two shorter works (Their Troublesome Crush and Nine of Swords, Reversed). Is it your evaluation that neither of these works are romance fiction, or that one is, and the other not? I may have other works that qualify, so it would be helpful to know this, if it is possible. If it’s possible to know which criteria these works failed to meet, that would also be helpful.”

The response I got four minutes later was “The comments I sent you regard both files, Nine of Swords Reversed & Their Troublesome Crush. Are you a romance reader?”

My read of the last sentence of this email was that it was intended to express scorn and disrespect, to question my capacity to judge what romance is, and to shut down further queries.

Unable to find an appeals process described on the website, I asked someone I knew who was a Board member what the procedure was for appealing. Upon her request, I forwarded her the email chain and the works I uploaded with my application.

It turns out that there was no process in place for appealing such decisions. They were left fully to the discretion of the staff person whose role was to evaluate applications. The Board member that I contacted read the emails and my application materials and it was her opinion that they qualified as romances, so she reached out to the Board to discuss the issue.

I heard back from her the next day, saying that the Board had been discussing this issue and hadn’t yet come up with a plan. The following day I heard something more substantial. The Board had sent Nine of Swords, Reversed and Their Troublesome Crush to a panel of three authors, and that panel had determined that they were not romance fiction. The first panel unanimously agreed that neither centered on a love story, neither had an emotionally satisfying optimistic ending, and that neither was a complete work. I want to note that this news (and all other communication about this) was delivered with care and kindness.

I was told that the Board realized that they needed to give guidance on how to determine whether something was romance and to create an appeals procedure. They determined that they would be sending my works to another panel to evaluate, and were discussing whether it might be important to have a certain kind of representation or expertise on the appeals panels in general and on my panel in particular.

In this particular case, both of the works I submitted centered ownvoices fat, autistic, disabled, Jewish, trans, queer characters. They both depicted kinky relationships and one was a polyamorous romance. I felt that it was likely that bias was at work in these prior determinations, particularly given the pattern of bias that had already come out with the RITAs, and was glad to hear that the makeup of the panel was being considered.

It was clear to me from the beginning that this issue was larger than my own particular case. It raised a bigger issue around inclusion, as these kinds of judgments were likely shutting out other marginalized writers, potentially sending the message that only certain kinds of romance “count” as romances, and by extension, that only certain kinds of people get to have romances, are worthy of love, get to have happy endings.

The Board took the next few weeks to hash out the details of the appeals process and come up with new procedures for addressing this, put that to a vote, and confirmed the new policy a little less than a month after the original rejection I got. About two weeks after they sent my works to a second panel, I was confirmed as a general member of RWA, just in time to cast my votes in the Board elections before they closed.

The last panel that evaluated my work decided that it was indeed romance. RWA now has an appeals process in place for folks who get rejected initially by staff. I’m not sure how well known that is, or whether applicants are informed about it, but that policy exists now because I raised the issue.

I wonder how many marginalized authors have been turned away by this gatekeeping process, and how many may have gotten rude and disrespectful emails shutting them down if they asked for more information, like I did. It seems unlikely that I’m alone in this experience.

My letter to the RWA Board: #IStandWithCourtney

I sent this letter early this morning, regarding this situation. I may have further to say about this, but this is a start.

To the members of the board of Romance Writers of America:

I joined RWA because I felt hopeful that the organization was taking steps to be more inclusive & address the widespread issues of racism, queer oppression and perhaps even trans oppression in the organization. That hope was partly because of the efforts of Courtney Milan.

The actions of the RWA Board yesterday have made it clear that the organization is not genuinely invested in taking steps towards addressing these endemic problems, but instead is creating an environment where criticizing oppression in the industry and in romance books is punished.  The message behind this choice is clear: marginalized people are not wanted in RWA & will be targeted for speaking out against the oppression they experience. In particular, women of color who openly criticize the racism of white women will be shut down by the organization.

I used to hope that RWA might be changing, that I might someday be welcome in the organization, that change was in the works and I was glad to be a part of an organization that was invested in changing. The current RWA Board has destroyed the hope I had left by their actions yesterday.

I am a disabled trans queer Jewish autistic writer who has been part of many organizational change efforts in my lifetime & I know the patterns, can identify backlash when I see it, know when organizational change is being shut down. That is my read of the RWA Board decision regarding the complaint about Courtney Milan, and what it means, particularly given her role in pushing for change in the organization.

I have very limited capacities as a disabled chronically ill writer & very limited funds & cannot stomach spending either on an organization that would choose to punish a woman of color member for naming racism on the part of white women. I stand with Courtney Milan, and will be withdrawing my membership. I do not withdraw my membership to RWA lightly, especially given the circumstances of my particular experience seeking membership to your organization.

It is clear to me that the processes set up by RWA around obtaining membership, the RITAs, the handling of ethics complaints, the way the organization makes space in the newsletter to promote bigotry, all of these show a clear pattern of racism, queer oppression, and trans oppression, that I no longer believe that the organization is attempting to change in good faith. Yesterday’s action shows that the current board would rather support the weaponization of the ethics complaints process in the service of racist bigotry than act in accordance with the values of inclusion that it gives lip service to. I no longer want to be associated with an organization whose Board would make this kind of choice.

Queer Classics Rewatch: If These Walls Could Talk 2

As a heads up, this post discusses gender policing, purges within lesbian feminism, and anti-butch hatred, and trans antagonism. 

I’m toying with the idea of writing about my experiences rewatching films and tv (and perhaps rereading books as well) that were important to me as a younger queer person and discussing what I get from them at this stage in my life, as a way of thinking about my future work and what I want from queer media. This is the first of a potential series on the subject.

Today I rewatched If These Walls Could Talk 2. Just the 1972 segment, which is the only one I’ve really ever cared about. I remember the first time I saw it, how much it meant to see a butch character in something so mainstream, how excited I was about having that kind of representation, because I was so starved for any representation, and at least there was a happy ending; the couple end up together.

(It can be found at the embedded video below, if you wish to see it yourself. The rest of this post contains significant plot spoilers for the segment.)

When I watched it today, now that I’ve been writing romance, and really thinking about what makes a happy ending and what I want from romance, I still love seeing Chloë Sevigny as a butch, and the chemistry she has with Michele Williams is beautiful, but this isn’t the kind of romance I want to watch, or read, however compelling their performances are.

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This story is all about the conflict between 1970s lesbian feminism among college students and working class butch/femme queerness, and it centers a lesbian feminist protagonist who goes to a queer bar and is attracted to a butch for the first time. It’s her story, about her internal conflict, and the butch character gets treated like shit throughout most of the story, by her and her friends. There’s even a gender conversion attempt by a group of lesbian feminists, which the feminist character does not intervene in, and which serves to help the feminist protagonist grow.

This story is deeply othering towards the butch character, while still also framing her as intensely sexually attractive. Its a combination of things that feels eerily familiar to me as a trans butch viewer, as this is often how trans people are framed in media, as both othered and intensely sexualized, often in combination. The hardest moments for me are the juxtaposition of sex between the protagonists and gendered hatred toward the butch protagonist either immediately preceding or ocurring immediately afterwards. The most painful of these juxtapositions for me was the gender interrogation the lesbian feminist protagonist subjects the butch character to immediately after waking in her bed, where just moments before we were watching an incredibly hot sex scene between them.

This story is structured quite a lot like a trans acceptance narrative, and reminded me very much of what it was like in queer women’s community I was part of in the mid 1990s when trans men began to come out. The butch character’s existence and comfort with her own gender is treated like a threat to the lesbian feminists, and they respond to it with cruelty, rejection, and ridicule. They make it very clear that the lesbian feminist protagonist who wants to date her would do so at the peril of her acceptance in the community.

All of this is reflective of the real history of purges within lesbian feminist communities; that community rejection threat was carried out; the stakes were actually that high. And the daily life of butches in the early 1970s was one of living with threats from outside queer communities as well, including law enforcement, something that’s alluded to in the story as well. That’s real and part of the history. They got the historical context right in this book.

That said, as a romance writer, when I think of the kind of romance I might write with a butch protagonist, set in 1972, it’s not one that places the butch protagonist’s gender at the center of the conflict in the story. I wouldn’t want the story to be about someone struggling to accept their attraction to her and what it would mean for their life and identity. I wouldn’t want gendered harassment towards the butch protagonist to be the thing that helps her love interest grow as a person and realize she is willing to stand up to her community and be with her love interest.

This romance centers the wrong story, that’s why it’s not the kind of romance I want as a reader/viewer, or as a writer. Instead of framing butchness as problem, source of conflict, or thing that someone works on accepting, I would want the butch protagonists gender to be a source of strength, community, and connection for her. I don’t want her love interest othering her or working to accept being attracted to her butchness, I want a love interest who isn’t struggling with her attractions but enjoying them, who enjoys being with the butch protagonist for who she is. Not in curious, othering, or fetishizing way. In a real way, the same way folks have been attracted to butches for as long as there have been butches.

I am hungry for butch representation in media, especially in romance, but I don’t want to settle for stories that frame us this way. I know that we can do better than this. I know that we deserve better than this in our historical romances.

 

New Story Published on Sugarbutch

I’m thrilled to announce that my cis m/trans m story “A Good Beating” has been published on Sugarbutch.net!

It’s an excerpt from my WIP novel ShockingViolet, and it depicts a cathartic SM scene between long term play partners.

Hunter is a muscled bearded silver fox aroace gay cis leatherman dominant sadist who lives with his queerplatonic partner Xavier and his very pampered cat, Melisande. Once a month he has a play date with Zak, a younger fat demiromantic gray ace queer trans guy submissive masochist, to give him a good beating.

This story depicts kink with no sex, and is told from Zak’s POV. It’s dear to my heart, and I’m very glad it is now out in the world for folks to read. I love being able to link to full stories of mine that are available for free!

Content warnings for the story (highlight to read): consensual kink including pain play, rough body play, boot play, edge play, D/s, playing with rage.

As a general note, I now have a page with content warnings for all of my short stories.

2019 National Leather Association Writing Awards

I am incredibly honored to have won two 2019 NLA writing awards. It means so much to me to have my work recognized and valued by leather community in this way.

My story “Trying Submission” from the anthology Best Lesbian Erotica of the Year Vol 3, just won the National Leather Association John Preston Short Fiction Award, alongside stories by Sinclair Sexsmith and Nicole Field, and an honorable mention to Kiki DeLovely! The collection was edited by Sacchi Green and published by Cleis Press; you can purchase it here.  I wrote about D/s in “Trying Submission” on this site, with a focus on service based submission.

My essay “Why I Care About Depicting Survivors of Abusive BDSM Continuing to Do Kink” which was posted on this site, just won the National Leather Association Cynthia Slater Non-Fiction Article Award! Sinclair Sexsmith won an honorable mention in this category.

In addition, an anthology I have a story in, The Big Book of Submission Vol 2, ed by Rachel Kramer Bussel and published by Cleis Press just won the National Leather Association Samois Anthology Award! You can purchase it here. My story in the collection is “Building Something New” and I wrote about it here.

Congratulations to all the winners & honorable mentions! Full results can be found here.

I am especially glad that Possibilities and From the Same Star by Nicole Field have won awards, as I love both of these books to pieces. Both of these books are now available at Gumroad, now that Less Than Three Press (the initial publisher) has closed. From the Same Star is an f/f contemporary D/s romance novel with an ace dominant. Possibilities is a fantasy romance novelette between a trans man king and his genderfluid service jester.

I am thrilled beyond measure that my work is being honored alongside leather queers I so deeply respect. I am especially excited that my story centering an autistic queer woman trying submission for the first time has been honored in this way. It means the world to me as an autistic writer and leather queer.

Birthday Giveaway!

So today is my birthday, and what better day to start an awesome giveaway?

Tarot-Themed Giveaway Bundle

I’m very excited to offer a tarot-themed giveaway bundle that includes:

a copy of my tarot-themed contemporary romance novelette Nine of Swords, Reversed
For entrants in the US or Canada: either a copy of The Numinous Tarot or a 9-card Tarot email reading from Noel Hempel
For international entrants outside the US or Canada: a 9-card Tarot email reading from Noel Hempel

Nine of Swords, Reversed by Xan West

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Dev has been with xyr service submissive Noam for seven years and xe loves them very much. Dev and Noam have built a good life together in Noam’s family home in Oakland, where they both can practice their magecraft, celebrate the high holidays in comfort, support each other as their disabilities flare, and where Noam can spend Shabbos with their beloved family ghost.

But Dev’s got a problem: xe has had so much arthritis pain recently that xe has not been able to shield properly. As an empath, no shielding means Dev cannot safely touch Noam. That has put a strain on their relationship, and it feels like Noam is pulling away from xym. To top it off, Dev has just had an upsetting dream-vision about xyrself and Noam that caused one of the biggest meltdowns xe has had in a while. It’s only with a timely tarot reading and the help of another genderfluid mage that Dev is able to unpack the situation. Can xe figure out how to address the issues in xyr relationship with Noam before everything falls apart?

This romance novelette includes Jewish queer genderfluid mage MCs, the couple on the rocks trope, and fat, autistic, disabled, chronic pain, PTSD and depression representation.

The Numinous Tarot, created by Noel Hempel

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The Numinous Tarot is a radical deck that strives to bring a variety of experiences to the wonderfully complex symbolism of the Tarot. Rendered in beautiful and luminous watercolor and inks, the Numinous Tarot shows the beauty of diversity in the world, from body type, ability, race, to gender identity and expression in order to show the infinite ways that all people can experience magic and mystery—especially those often excluded from it. The deck is accompanied by a full-sized guidebook written for readers of all levels, including beginners. Both the guidebook and card titles use all gender-neutral language.

Of course I was curious about the card in the Numinous Tarot that is comparable to Nine of Swords Reversed, as that card is so central to my story. Here it is, the Nine of Bells, Reversed. It’s riveting, isn’t it? The movement, the intensity. You get a real sense of the upheaval that goes with this card.

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I am thrilled to have been able to interview Noel as part of this giveaway, and I will be sharing that below, along with the details of how to enter the giveaway! In addition, Noel interviewed me about Nine of Swords, Reversed, and you can read it on their Patreon!

Interview
When and how did you get started with tarot?

I learned about Tarot’s existence when I got interested in witchcraft as a tween. I grew up reading every magical, high fantasy book I could get my hands on, and I was beyond excited when I found out there was real world magic. The only thing was, I didn’t know if my Mom would be supportive, so I couldn’t ask her to buy me a deck. Just after my thirteenth birthday (late 2003), I found myself alone in a Barnes & Noble with a giftcard, which I used to surreptitiously purchase a mini “Tarot kit” from the gift racks near the registers. It had a small version of the Hanson-Roberts Tarot in it, which was the only deck I used all through my teen years. When I got to college, I started branching out, buying more decks and getting involved with the online Tarot community.

(My Mom eventually did find out, and not only was supportive, but wouldn’t stop bugging me for readings on her love life!)

What are some of your favorite tarot decks?

[image error]To be honest, my favorite deck is my own! Since I made it, I feel like I always know exactly what it’s saying. It feels like having a conversation with an ideal version of myself. Aside from that, I also really love the Sasuraibito Tarot (another watercolor deck), the Circo Tarot (extremely colorful!), and the Wild Wood Tarot (very spiritual and detailed). They all have different personalities and flavors, so they’re good for different kinds of questions. The Sasuraibito Tarot is very straightforward. The Circo Tarot gives me answers that look “backwards” or weird until I puzzle them out, but then the results are very specific. The Wild Wood Tarot is very esoteric and good for Big Life Questions.

Can you tell readers a bit about the early stages of designing The Numinous Tarot?

In the beginning, I stuck a lot closer to the traditional imagery from the classic Rider-Waite-Smith deck. The Hanson-Roberts deck I learned on was almost an exact copy of that imagery, so it was what I was used to. But I’d recently started getting other decks that were way less traditional, and the idea of changing things up intrigued me. I knew I wanted to change the suits in particular. I came up with Bells, Books, Candles, and then wasn’t sure what to call Cups. My partner at the time helped me refine Books and Cups into Tomes and Vials, which we both thought sounded more impressive and magical.

I decided to start with the Major Arcana because even if I only got those 22 cards done, that would be something. A smaller challenge within the larger challenge of a whole deck. The first few I just kind of winged it and went on my instincts, but soon I made a whole list of written descriptions for every card in the deck. I referred back to this list for a while, but abandoned it eventually. Most of the cards ended up similar to my original ideas, anyway, but the details changed as I worked through the cards and started solidifying certain key elements and symbols.

I thought very hard about what I’d seen people from other marginalized groups say they wanted, didn’t want, or were missing in a Tarot deck. I tried to be as conscious as possible about avoiding stereotypes or common pitfalls with identities I don’t belong to. More than that, I wanted That meant getting more involved in the wider, diverse Tarot community online, even though I’m an introvert. It was so worth it, though, because I made so many amazing friends, and they inspired the deck to be a better representation of the community.

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How did you approach the Major Arcana for this deck?

I started off thinking very similarly to the traditional RWS imagery, but added my own thoughts and twists. One of the biggest changes was taking the gendered names and making them neutral, such as turning the High Priestess to the Diviner and The Empress and Emperor to The Nurturer and Founder. Personally, I don’t like using gender in my magic as a shortcut for describing the properties or essence of something. I try to describe the thing or energy more directly, and say…call a card The Nurturer because it’s about abundance and nurturing (words I like better than “fertility,” which has its own associations that make me uncomfortable as an ace person), rather than calling it The Empress card and assuming female/feminine = nurturing.

I also redid The Hierophant as The Visionary and Judgment as Awakening because I personally can’t relate to the Christian influence on these cards, as a polytheist raised in a fairly agnostic household. Basically, I wanted to make the Major Arcana match my own thoughts and feelings about the mythical Fool’s Journey that they’re said to describe. I dove deeper into the Fool’s Journey aspect of the majors, looking at them as one big, continuous story rather than separate moments. There’s a narrative to them, even though the images are all so different. They were largely drawn spread out over three years, and I redid The Fool and The Visionary at the very end before it went to print, to make it more cohesive.

Can you share how you developed the accompanying book for The Numinous Tarot?

Writing the book was actually like pulling teeth! I kept putting it off, and suddenly the first Kickstarter was over and successful, and I needed to send files to the printer. I thought it would only take me a month, but it took two. I really wanted to give in-depth interpretations for every card, including reversed/shadow meanings, and to include a basics section for new readers. A very intimidating prospect! Even though I’d been reading Tarot for 14 years at the time, I didn’t feel qualified or educated enough on the history, or the deeper occult associations with astrology and numerology. Most of my Tarot knowledge I gained by experience and chatting online rather than reading books.

Then I talked to a friend and fellow deck creator who was having the same problem. I told her that I would love to read a Tarot guidebook by her, because I’d value knowing her personal point of view and interpretations. She said she felt the same way about a guidebook written by me, and framing it that way felt way less intimidating. It was just my personal opinion, not The Truth about Tarot. That meant I was really free to insert all my radical, queer, trauma-and-recovery-centered thoughts, because that was really the whole point: giving people like me interpretations they could relate to.

It was still difficult to write, though. But I got it done one card at a time, each with its own document in a Scrivener file. Then I came up with section headers for the basic information, and filled in what would fit in the amount of page space I had left in InDesign, where I was laying out the book file. I’d already based my pricing on a quote from the printer for a 126-page book without really knowing how much space that was. Sometimes I wish there was a little more, but I think it forced me to focus on what was really important, and say it concisely.

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What tools/media did you use to sketch and color this deck?

Back in the day, I just sketched with a very light wood pencil (4H, usually) straight onto the watercolor paper (Arches, 140lb cold press), and then painted! Each original painting is 9”x15,” except for The Moon, which I painted much smaller as a devotional painting and then decided to turn into the actual Moon card. I use Daniel Smith brand watercolors and Liquitex acrylic inks for the brighter bits. I still use those paints, but now I sketch on separate paper and use a light box to trace a clean copy onto the watercolor paper, which is how I would have done the Numinous Tarot if I’d had a light box at the time.

Were there any specific artistic challenges/considerations with creating this deck?

The biggest challenge was finding time for it. When I began drawing the deck in late 2013, I had a full time job and a webcomic. Progress was very slow, which in the face of a large project like a whole Tarot deck, can be rough. That’s why I broke up the deck into smaller challenges—finish the Major Arcana, finish the court cards, finish the Aces, the Twos, etc. In 2017 I finally found myself with only a part time day job and my webcomic was finished, so I completed basically the entire Minor Arcana in the last six months out of the four years I spent on the deck. I am lucky enough I found myself in such a position, as not everyone can do that.

The other challenge of course was, as mentioned earlier, making sure I was keeping the deck diverse enough and avoiding stereotypes or unfortunate associations. I have to send an enormous thank you to Tumblr at the time, and the #blackoutfriday hashtag (I think that’s what it was, but it’s been some years now) and similar hashtag days for marginalized people where everyone posted the most beautiful selfies and photos, that really expanded my imagination and view!

I also had an issue on the first printing where I’d promised gilded edges and matte-coated cards, but during the proofing process, the printer told me that the gilding process was causing serious issues with the matte coating, and that they recommended I switch to a glossy finish. Tarot readers (at least the ones I know) LOVE matte cards because they photograph easier for Instagram and such. I was very torn about the decision, and polling my backers on which feature to keep (the matte finish or the gilding) didn’t help because it came back 50/50. In the end I switched to glossy cards and kept the gold edges, because I love gold. The original paintings all have gold on them. It was part of my vision. And I’m glad that I stuck to that, because the gilding is one of the things I get the most compliments on when showing people the deck in person!

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What’s next on the horizon for you?

Lots of things! I have a new deck which I’ll be Kickstarting next year called the Threadbound Oracle. It’s a 50-card oracle deck themed around a magical library, storytelling, and bookbinding. It has a Tarot-like structure with three suits: Paper, Ink, and Thread, along with Story cards similar to the Major Arcana. The deck is finished and I have a test copy, which I use for readings on my Patreon or with email reading clients. You can also see nearly the art for all the new cards on my website.

Right now I’m writing the guidebook for it, along with a novel featuring the magical library and characters depicted on the cards. The deck and novel work separately, but they’re made to be companions, and I’m hoping to have an ebook version ready for the deck Kickstarter. I originally created the deck for the story, because it’s a fantasy set in another world and they needed their own version of Tarot to use. So it’s kind of meta! The novel itself is a found family and workplace drama called The Thread That Binds, which explores the bonds we have with loved ones that support us, and the ones we need to cut away in order to heal.

Of course it’s all just as queer and rainbow and inclusive as the Numinous Tarot!  Anyone who’d like to know when the deck and book are available can sign up for my mailing list, or pledge to my Patreon to see behind the scenes updates and follow along with the process. The Numinous Tarot is now in its second printing, and is available for purchase in my shop and a few others listed on my website.

Bio

[image error]Noel is a queer Tarot reader, illustrator, and author who seeks to build an affirming and mystical space for similar souls around the world. Noel is the creator of the Numinous Tarot, a nonbinary, intersectional deck ready to help you explore the furthest reaches of yourself. Compassion, community, and recovery from trauma and oppression are the core elements of all Noel’s work. They are agender, pan/demisexual, and gray-aromantic. Noel enjoys archaic crafts, nature walks, and being the fashionable friend.

Buy the deck: http://noelarthurian.bigcartel.com

Instagram: http://instagram.com/noelarthurian

Twitter: http://twitter.com/noelarthurian

Official website (see all the cards!): http://noelheimpel.com

Patreon: http://patreon.com/noelarthurian

How to Enter the Giveaway

To enter this giveaway, comment on this post by 8/8/19 at 8am with a recommendation for either your favorite queer fantasy story or your favorite tarot deck. 

Open internationally.

 

 

Help choose our July book!

I’m excited to see what gets picked for July!

Polyam Book Club

We are posting a poll about our next book on our Twitter account, so we thought we would share descriptions, links, and content warnings for the options here, so you can make informed choices! You can vote on the poll here!

1. The Submission Gift by Solace Ames, a contemporary kinky m/m/f erotic romance.

Note: This is #2 in a series, but each book stands alone.

Newlyweds Jay and Adriana had a happy marriage and a spectacular sex life—until tragedy struck. Wounded in a car accident, Jay spent a year recuperating while Adriana worked overtime as a chef to pay their bills. Though he’s made nearly a full recovery, some aspects of their intimate play will never be the same. It’s a small price to pay, all things considered.

But when a long struggle with the insurance company results in an overdue payout, Jay has a plan. He’ll take…

View original post 874 more words

Interview with Hannah Aroni

So, right around when I was working with my cover artist for my recent release, Their Troublesome Crush, I saw this Twitter thread by artist and author Nilah Magruder, where she discusses how great it would be if more authors interviewed their cover artists. I got inspired by this and when I was talking about the launch with the artist, we decided to do an interview. I’m excited to share the interview with you! 

First things first, take a look at the gorgeous cover Hannah Aroni designed for my cute queer kinky polyamorous romance novella! I adore it to pieces and it really got across the feeling I wanted for the cover: that the book is sweet and cute and romantic.

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Buy on Amazon         Buy on Gumroad         Add on Goodreads          Content Warnings

And now, the interview, with the wonderfully talented Hannah Aroni!

(As a heads up, the image included with the final question alludes to societal ableism and to controlling approaches to autistic people, including physical restraint.)

When and how did you get started in art?

I’ve been drawing literally for as long as I’ve been able to hold a pen – but that’s actually a kind of complicated statement.

Visual art runs in my family, going back at least to to my maternal grandfather’s mother, who was a moderately locally famous pencil and watercolour portraitist in her town in Hungary. I’ve always loved to draw, and my family say it was always pretty obvious I’d inherited the family aptitude.

But I’m also a visual artist with a neurological disability that affects my speed of visual focus, the way my eyes get fatigued, my gross and fine motor skills, and possibly even my sense of spatial perception, though sometimes it’s hard to tell what’s neurology and what’s a result of the things I’m disinterested in because of neurology.

So as a young kid I was both artistically talented, and someone who  really struggled to grip my pen right, draw a competently straight line, or stay within an outline when colouring, even if I wanted to. The fact that I can do what I do now as an artist, that I can get very close to drawing forms the way I envision them, was a consequence of an attentive mother who thoroughly believed in supporting me when I was young, getting me the help I needed, and letting me use up sometimes absurd quantities of paper on endless fun sketches. It was also a consequence of a lot of good occupational therapy, to help me get properly in touch with my hands and my body.

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An image of a player character from Changeling: The Lost, a Polychromatic Fairest.

 

In my digital work, I produce clean lines because I work with a delightful program called Clip Studio Paint, which does a bit of line smoothing for me, and because I can redraw things as much as I want. (I almost exclusively use Clip Studio because of this feature, and would heartily recommend it to other artists who have found digital art hard to approach, though it has downsides for those hoping to colour for print.)

 

 

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Realistic portrait of the actor Tony Shalhoub playing the character Abe Weissman from The Marvelous Mrs Maisel

 

 

In contrast, when you look at my traditional-media art, or even the digital work I do that’s designed to look a bit “pencil-y”,  you can see how my brain and my hands have influenced my style. It’s especially obvious when I’m working in the medium which is my artistic first love, graphite pencil – my style involves lots of hatching and line feathering, a softness and sketchiness that allows me to approximate and gradually build forms rather than relying on the first-time precision that a lot of other artists prefer. I delight in the gestural, emergent effect that sketchiness can produce.

 

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Elizabeth Bennett from Pride and Prejudice on her way to Netherfield to visit her sister.

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Illustration from the book Princess Ninja, written by Topper Sundquist

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A couple pages, that include an Illustration, from the book Princess Ninja, written by Topper Sundquist

What do you value in a book cover? What are some of your favourite book covers?

When I answer this, I’m thinking about something I didn’t consciously learn until relatively recently: that book covers, film and theatre posters, images designed to draw a reader toward a text that isn’t purely visual, all these genres of imagery speak in languages that a lot of people don’t understand or don’t relate to. As an illustrator, I speak a visual language which is just meaningless to some people, and because I speak it, I approach book covers knowing all these genre conventions that aren’t inherently obvious, like, “Oh this font and this colour conveys that this book is probably aligning itself with the conventions of what publishers call‘chick lit’”, or, “This book wants you to know it’s a cozy historical because of the linework on the borders and the little flourishes and the lack of high contrast.” There’s so much layering in the language of covers even when they aren’t inherently exciting, and I salute the immense skill of the artists, designers and publicity/marketing folks who are subtly speaking that language. But I’ve started thinking more about what a book cover can do even for people who don’t speak that language at all, and can’t use those little cues to discern genre or tone or intended audience.

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Promo image for a 2016 show called Pinocchio Restrung.

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Another promo image for a 2016 show called Pinocchio Restrung.

I’m interested in covers that speak a clearer language, that aren’t only about the subtle marketing but about more overtly echoing the book’s themes, characters or story. That probably also comes from the fact that before I tried my hand at covers, I did posters for theatre, back when posters and flyers were often seen in isolation from any other promotional material. You have to convey so much about genre and tone in a theatre poster, so much about a show’s dramaturgy, because you’re often working with even fewer words than a book blurb. I love covers that are actively trying to be complete, striking artworks that can be read alone. All covers of all kinds can be read as texts, but I love the ones that want to be consciously read as texts, and are blatantly announcing themselves that way.

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I grew up in the 90s reading Tamora Pierce and Diana Wynne Jones, and I loved the lushly illustrated, fantasy-realism covers on the 90s editions of those books. I especially loved the absurd amounts of detail and the rich bright colours and Howl’s sardonic look on the cover of Howl’s Moving Castle, or the elaborate dressing gowns Chrestomanci wore on the covers of the Chrestomanci series; I believe all of those were by Tim Stevens. More recently my favourites have been Paul Kidby’s covers for Terry Pratchett’s books – they’re deeply characterful and bold, and often involve a visual joke referencing another image, an artist’s wink.

 

But I always come back to the image of protagonist Keladry of Mindelan on the cover of Pierce’s book First Test.

[image error]That cover centres this serene young girl gazing right back at the viewer, and she has this properly bruised, very incongruous black eye. When you read the book you find out that Keladry’s serenity is a consciously chosen performance, a part of the stoic philosophy she’s adopted. But even without that knowledge, the contrast of the cover is what draws me. It’s the contrast of the black eye, that strong statement that this character has seen violence and this book contains real danger and embodied consequence, with this image of a preteen girl who looks hopeful, confident, ready to face anything, but also tender and sweet and surrounded by woodland animals that trust her … I could look at it forever, because it radiates the feeling of “this character has had to be strong before her time and it hasn’t reduced her joy or power”. The quartet is called Protector of the Small, and the cover absolutely captures that feeling, that Kel is willing to get into some scraps to protect others. I love its detail, the feeling that the artist spent forever on the image, blending different colours into the strands of hair, because I love the idea that this book was honoured with a serious investment of time (and, I hope and dream, serious pay for an artist). I love artworks that clearly took a long time, probably because illustration is already a heavily time-consuming practice, which is one of the reasons it seems to have fallen out of favour for covers. And, look, I sure hope this artist was well compensated, because I haven’t been able to find their name online anywhere, and they aren’t credited in my edition of the book, which – yikes.

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And then in contrast, I also appreciate covers that play with form and use minimalism and subversion to captivate and intrigue. The cover for Jesse Ball’s Silence Once Begun, designed by Peter Mendelsund, is a great example.

Can you share how you used lighting, environment, and color palette to create the mood and emotion on the cover?

For this cover, I began by considering the colours that were “mandatory” – because you had a clear idea of how these characters looked, and some of the specifics of their outfits, I had a few initial colours to play with. I knew Nora had purple tights, a black dress with a cupcake print, and brown hair, while Ernest was a pale redhead. I also knew they were meeting in a cupcake shop, and you sent me some lovely reference images of the specific shop you had in mind, so I was also thinking about the generous and elaborate cupcake frosting Ernest and Nora were about to enjoy, and all the bright and beautiful colours of that frosting. I was especially anchored by Ernest’s ginger hair and the purple of Nora’s tights, and used orange and purple as central organising colours around which I chose the rest of my palette.

But I was also thinking about how I could convey that this was a cozy, happy romance with low angst and high joy, which for me meant thinking in a combination of – setting aside the technical  colour terms, I would describe them as warm, relaxed brights and calm, faded pastels. And on top of that, I knew that in the scene I was depicting, the characters had just come in from a rainy day, and were experiencing the singular comfort of being somewhere warm and dry when it’s wet outside. All those factors together led me to what I think of as “hearth” colours, warm burnt umbers and yellows, which would give the cover’s background a feeling of homey comfort.

For the staging, I was inspired by Ernest’s inner monologue, and tried only to focus on those aspects of the scene that he was most interested in, that anchored or excited him – the cupcake case and Nora herself. Ernest is experiencing one of those heady moments of limerence where the world falls away and one’s crush seems like the only real being in the room, and I wanted the staging to reflect that.

Did the cover of Their Troublesome Crush require any particular research? Were there any specific artistic challenges/considerations with creating this cover?

You made it really easy to approach this cover, by giving me a brief full of reference images with lots of accompanying information – but there were still certain things I needed to tweak or where you needed to give me more guidance. The most obvious example is that Nora uses a cane and my first attempt at portraying that use was inaccurate, so you brought me a reference image I could use to get it right. I think you’ve remarked that such reference images are hard to find, and that this often results in inaccurate imagery of cane users. It was an easy problem to remedy, but also a great reminder that sometimes googling an image doesn’t resolve a question of visual accuracy, and some expertise is necessary.

Another interesting challenge was designing and placing the cupcake print on Nora’s dress. An image containing both a real and a stylised version of the same thing is always complex; it was important to design a cupcake print so different from the way I drew the “real” cupcakes that the viewer wouldn’t have to do any conscious work to think of them as both different and the same. And then each 2D cupcake had to be individually placed on Nora’s dress in a way that conveyed the print was a repeating pattern, but that the fabric was also clinging to the shape of Nora’s body, which would affect each cupcake’s final position or even result in some slight distortion of the fabric.

 I loved working with you on this cover, and especially appreciated our back and forth about depicting Nora. Can you please describe the process of that collaboration, from your point of view?

Thank you! I loved it too.

When I first pitched to you that I wanted to draw one of your covers, I was aware you were looking for an artist who was inclined to portray fat characters accurately, respectfully and with care, and you noted that evidence of this ability was often lacking in artists’ portfolios. I’ve spent a bit of time thinking about why that is. The incredible artist Maya Kern recently wrote a great twitter thread on how artists’ fatphobia, including fat artists’ internalised fatphobia, stops them from drawing fat bodies in a way that is attentive, using the loving eye for form that artists usually comfortably grant thin bodies.

But I’m also interested in why art of fat bodies portrayed respectfully doesn’t make it into portfolios, and I think it has to do with the conflation of thinness with not just beauty but neutrality, the thin body as the coat hanger on which complex artistic statements can be comfortably hung.

I put myself forward to draw this cover because I was excited about the opportunity to be part of a change I want to see in the romance novel world, and also in the wider world. There’s a real dearth of images of fat people being adored. I wanted to add to the store of images of fat people being seen through a lens of admiration, infatuation, delight, respect. Rather than delving into my own history or histories of people I care about, I’ll just say that real damage to not just our self-images and our health but also our relationships with one another has been done by the lack of those images.

But despite those intentions, I still didn’t do a good job of drawing Nora at first, because I got her actual size wrong – I visually misread your initial reference image and drew Nora as midsized. You came back with not just useful clarification that she was larger than I conveyed in my early base sketch or my first lineart attempt, but also with a raft of more specific reference images and instructions about specific parts of her body. You had a specific vision about this, not just about Nora’s size but about her shape and the way specific parts of her body would work. This included little things like how fat might look on Nora’s elbows or the way her back folds might sit under her dress. I’m glad you kindly but firmly insisted I get this right, because some of my favourite fat characters in books and even in comics seem to end up slimmed down on covers, and it’s the worst. It undercuts the messages of the text.

You sent me images from a couple of clothing sites but also relied heavily on The Adipositivity Project, and I would recommend that site as a key resource for artists looking to improve their depictions of fat people. And I would also implore any artist who has ever had body issues to read that Maya Kern thread.

Another element we discussed about depicting Nora was her curly hair. There are a lot of kinds of Jewish curly hair. I’m Jewish with wavy hair, but I have a kind of wavy hair that is already represented positively in lots of art. Nora has a much tighter curl pattern, a really gorgeous type of Jewish hair that a lot of people of various non-Anglo ethnicities have, but that hasn’t always been portrayed as positively, basically because it doesn’t look Anglo. Again, you came back to me with some great reference pictures that helped me get Nora’s hair right.

I’m going to do something a bit scary and encourage you to post a screenshot of my original Nora lineart alongside the final Nora, because I think the contrast says a lot about how representation can be watered down or made more conventional-beauty-standards-palatable – and thus less powerful and transformative of our own perceptions and our cultural standards – without careful attention to certain kinds of detail.

And then there were elements of Nora where I got to have a bigger say and add some flair – I decided to put her in pink Doc Martens, and – this might sound strange – but I had the pleasure of deciding the specific way she might hold Ernest’s hand. There are an awful lot of ways to hold a hand, and each way can feel a little different.

What should an author keep in mind when working with a cover artist?

First, start your artist search and negotiation early. Different artists take different lengths of time to work, but more time means you and they have more possible choices available in terms of style.

Balance clarity and specificity about the things that are most important to you with a sense of trust in your artist. An artist can be a collaborator in a lot of different ways – they can take your vision of a specific scene or image and translate it into reality quite faithfully, or they can bring more of their own design concepts to the table based on the themes of your text. The clearer you can be about the kind of collaborator you want early on, the happier you’ll be – tell your artist what kind of collaboration you want, and check in about how they prefer to work. But also, do your best to choose an artist who you’re willing to trust to make some of the decisions.

Even if you’re also a visual artist or designer, and even if your cover artist is also proficient with language and verbal/written expression, it’s best to think of commissioning an artist as a task you’re undertaking using two languages, the verbal or written and the visual. If you run out of ways to express something in one language, or you struggle with clarity in one language, use another. Expect that each of you associates different connotations with different words, and in places where you need accuracy or specificity, use sketches or reference images as much as practicable, or express things in multiple ways. It’s amazing how far into a process you can get while still having a different vision from your collaborator.

Readers have commented on how much they love Nora’s cupcake dress, and I personally am really into her hair and the lines on her face, and Ernest’s blush. What are your favorite elements of the cover?

I love Ernest’s swoony smile, and the way colour shapes his curls – I’m such a sucker for drawing bright hair. I’m also very fond of the warm blushy colouring at Nora’s elbows and the softness on Nora’s upper arms. I also like the differences between the way Nora and Ernest smile.

What’s next on the horizon for you?

Note: the poster image for the upcoming play alludes to societal ableism and to controlling approaches to autistic people, including physical restraint.

I’m a writer and theatre maker as well as an illustrator, and my next two projects are in those spheres.

First, I’m one of the writers for upcoming podcast Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke, which is about a call-in advice show about sex, love and relationships, set in a world where magical creatures are real. It’s super queer, super cute, and produced by Passer Vulpes, the same podcasting studio that makes the adorable Love and Luck podcast, a queer romance-turned-community/found family story full of love and magic, told via voicemails. You can keep track of it here.

Second, I’m co-creating a play called Helping Hands, auspiced by neurodiverse-led theatre company A_tistic, which opens in August. To quote our marketing copy:

When the whole world wants you to be a certain way, what does it mean to get “help”?

In a world built for neurotypical people, sometimes autistic people need help. But … what does that mean, exactly?

Created in collaboration with a majority-neurodivergent cast, Helping Hands digs into questions of interdependence, normalisation, power, compromise, good intentions, and better living through goblin mentorship.

By turns surrealist and sweet, hilarious and horrific, Helping Hands explores what help is, and what help could be.

It’s being staged in Melbourne, Australia, but it’s actually going to be watchable from all around the world – we’ll be selling tickets to access a high-quality, captioned, streamable film of the production for a limited time after the physical production closes. We’re really excited by the show (and also pretty exhausted trying to make it all happen).

I actually just finished our poster illustration, a collaboration with the show’s photographer and lighting/set designer, John Collopy, so here’s a sneak peek:

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Poster image for Helping Hands

If you want to keep track of the show, you can follow A_tistic on Twitter, or me on Twitter, or subscribe to A_tistic’s mailing list.

Thank you so much for giving me this opportunity to talk about this process. You were a truly wonderful commissioner/collaborator, and working on this cover was a gift.

Bio

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Photo of Hannah Aroni

In her arts life, Hannah Aroni is a writer, director, dramaturge and illustrator. She’s part of the arts core of A_tistic, a theatre, education and consultancy collective dedicated to telling autistic stories and spreading understanding of neurodiversity . Her writing has appeared in Overland and SBS Life. She’s worked in law, disability advocacy, academia and social work, and is a Board Member of Pathways Melbourne, an organisation that supports people leaving or changing their relationship with their faith or religious community. Hannah is endlessly fascinated by the complexities of interpersonal communication and the challenges of developing a utopian imagination.

Ask the Author: A Sex Question

I got a question from someone who was reading my queer kink erotica collection, Show Yourself to Me. Since this is a rather common thing that I get asked about, I thought I’d post the question and my answer here.

(As a heads up, this post openly discusses a Daddy/boy relationship, blood sports, sex, barebacking and ejaculation.)

I take a particular approach to writing erotica centering trans characters, and describing sex, and it’s something that may be new to some folks, especially given the way most sexual media about trans people is extremely genitals-focused. My erotica works counter to that, choosing to not describe genitals in detail or give a lot of detail about exactly what bodies are doing during sex; instead it prioritizes the emotional reality of the POV characters (who are often the trans and non-binary characters).

The question that follows is about the story “Missing Daddy,” which is told from the POV of a trans man dominant, remembering when he was a submissive to his former Daddy, another trans man. The moment in the story that is referenced is at the end of the story, what we might think of as the cum shot, were this visual porn instead of written erotica.

Q: In your story “Missing Daddy” it says “and his teeth were claiming me, and my cock was spurting, and Daddy’s come invaded me, seeping into me as he drank me down.” I had assumed they were both using strap-ons. So I’m wondering how their cocks were spurting?

A: In Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg, sex with a strap-on is referred to as an “act of sweet imagination” by one of the characters. I think that’s a really apt description, especially when it comes to sex with, and/or between, trans folks.

Both characters are trans men, and part of what sex looks like for them is about the framework of how they understand it, the way that shapes their experience. In their case, the MC of the story is deeply invested in understanding himself and his Daddy as queer men, has all these fantasies about queer men’s public sex spaces and being affirmed in his manhood via participating in them as a queer man with other queer men. So, for him, when he conceives of getting fucked by his Daddy, it includes barebacking and being filled and claimed in that way by his Daddy. And when he conceives of his own orgasm, it’s within the framework of his own sense of self as a queer man, so he thinks of it with words like spurting.

This language for thinking about sex as a trans man and/or with trans men is fairly common, in my experience (though of course it’s not something all trans men use). It’s not intended to be a literal description of what bodies are doing, but instead is a description of the character’s experience of sex. That is generally true for all my sex scenes: I am not describing the literal detail of bodies and acts, I am describing the experience of sex from a character’s perspective.

I feel I should clarify as a sex educator that yes it is possible to get strap-ons that ejaculate (though sex toy reviewers say good ones are rare). And yes it is possible for some trans men and trans masc folks to ejaculate with their bodies. When women ejaculate, it’s often called squirting, but as that term is intentionally feminized, it’s fairly common for trans guys & trans mascs and non-binary folks with vulvas who ejaculate to call it something else that may be less dysphoria-inducing, which can include things like spurting, creaming, coming, etc. That said, it wasn’t my intention while writing to imply that either of those things were necessarily going on in this scene. (Though of course if folks want to read it that way, they are welcome to.)

Part of what I do in my work is choose to avoid describing genitals in detail or acts that are likely to be disruptive for trans readers. I’ve written essays about this choice, this one discusses that strategy. I also write about sex from a place of resisting sex normativity and assumptions about what counts as sex and what sex looks like. My work is likely to disrupt and push against reader assumptions, in a bunch of different ways.