BikeSnobNYC's Blog, page 34

It's Wednesday!

Welcome to my bike blog!  Let's check right in at the tech desk, shall we?  As you'll recall, yesterday I mentioned I purchased new tires from a physical store and everything:


Well, being the hard-working bike blogger that I am, immediately after launching yesterday's post into the digital ether I mounted said tires (onto my bicycle wheels, I didn't literally mount the tires) and took off for a short test ride:

As a product tester it's important that I use Strava so I can conduct data-based analyses and draw objective conclusions.  For example, based on the fact that I managed only one (1) "achievement," I can safely conclude that I suck.
But I already knew that.
Then again, the greatest accomplishment of all is going for a ride in the middle of the day on a Tuesday, so I'm ahead no matter what.
Anyway, the ride was an abbreviated version of my usual mixed-terrain ramble and featured approximately 40% dirt:


Of course a ride of this duration does not warrant sweeping pronouncements, but here are some first impressions:

--The tires are ostensibly 35mm wide, but I did not measure them with a micrometer to confirm because what kind of psychopath owns a micrometer?  As for which rims I mounted them on, they were Mavic CXP33s, which are an ancient model from before gravel bikes were even invented--and yes, I realize that by using these tires on non-gravel-specific rims I am risking not only sub-optimal performance but also almost certain death;

--Once installed, there was still plenty of frame and brake clearance on my Milwaukee, because medium-reach brakes are awesome (though today's gravel tire tread patterns are optimized for disc brakes so be aware that in using them with rim brakes you risk not only sub-optimal performance but also certain death);

--I am running them tubeless, though instead of sealant I'm using sort of a butyl bladder system to prevent burping.  In the unlikely event of a puncture I can quickly patch or replace this bladder on the trail with no mess in a matter of minutes;

--I will not disclose #whatpressureyourunning because that's proprietary info of the highest order and I might as well give you my social security number at that point.  What I will say is that to arrive at that pressure I used my usual technique of inflating them 1psi at a time and then squeezing the tire between my teeth.  My highly calibrated jaw has not let me down yet, and I'm pleased to say my #whatpressureyourunning required nary an adjustment for the duration of the test period;

--They felt good on the dirt which was not surprising, and they also felt good on the pavement.  I mean maybe they didn't corner quite as smoothly as the Paselas due to the knobs, but I'm not exactly dragging a knee these days anyway so who cares?

--In all, they strike me as a very good "Leave 'em on and ride everything"-type tyre.

So there you go.  Maybe I'll try a "CX'y" ride at the Philly Bike Expo this weekend:


 Hey, at least I meet the tire width requirements:

Departing from the Italian Fountain behind the Philadelphia Museum of Art (see comments for a map) 8am 
- The route is TBD and weather-dependent - it it's a bit wet, we'll stick to gravel, if the weather is dry, expect some trails and singletrack. This is a cyclocross oriented ride, 32mm and larger tires with some tread for trail riding are advised. This is not a MTB ride, but MTB's are welcome to join!
- Distance TBD, expect 35-45 miles total. Pace will be moderate, probably 12-14 MPH Avg, but a technical degree of difficulty in a range of 6-8 out of 10.
- Helmet and repair kit/tubes required, Clipless pedals/foot retention recommended.
- No rider left behind, but the group will likely string out through the more technical sections.
Or maybe I'll just sleep in instead, which could also be rewarding.

Either way too bad I won't be in town early enough to unleash my inner fop on the Brompton Ride:


3rd ANNUAL BROMPTON BREAKFAST ROLL
Saturday, Nov. 4th. 8:44 AM Start: Amtrak 30th Street Station, 30th & Market Sts., gather at main info booth.

A ride just for Brompton Folder bike owners–includes free admission to the Philly Bike Expo. We’ll meet at 8:44 a.m. for a quick group photo, then ride at 9:01 SHARP. Easy-paced roll around Center City ends at the Philly Bike Expo right around opening bell, where our Brompton riding group will enjoy free admission AND secured valet bike parking inside the Convention Center. • Sponsored by Trophy Bikes. Reminder: this is a Brompton-only ride.

What, no fold-off?

And I don't know if I'll stay long enough to bask in the glory of this guy's beard:


Simple philosophy, complicated title.

Oh, and in other tech news, I've asked for a tracking number on the wood bike and have yet to receive one:


Assuming it's actually been sent, look forward to returning home to a door tag and eventually having to go pick up a box of matchsticks and splinters at the far-flung customer service center of whichever shipping company they used.

And finally, it had to happen:

World’s first airbag equipped bicycle helmet for commuters who want a safer option then the products currently on the market. Currently under development, Version 1 of HelmetWorX (Non Functioning Prototype seen in the pictures) aims to be the safest bicycle helmet in the world. HelmetWorX is aimed at the daily commuter who puts many miles on their bike riding too and from work. Future models will be aimed at providing a product to performance based cyclists and children. The helmet will protect the rider from harsh weather and serve as a secondary protection in case the airbag fails to operate. Bicycle helmets fundamentally haven’t changed over the last 15 years. This product aims to change that. HelmetWorX retains the original look of the helmet but offers superior protection to the current designs while maintaining the same size and weight.

If this leads to more unintentional deployment videos then I'm all for it:

AS IT HAPPENED #hovding #airbaggedA post shared by abc3d (@abc3d_) on May 19, 2015 at 5:39am PDT

Still the greatest video of all time.

You Know What? I Think I'll Start Treating This Like A Bike Blog!

Good morning, and Happy Hallowed Weenus!


The above photo is of course from my 2015 Hallowed Weenus posting on the Brooks Blog, and I'm pleased to report that I've officially finished curating the BSNYC Pre-Fondon't Ride post for that same publication, which means you should be able to read it just as soon as Old Man Brooks has it legally vetted.  In the meantime, here's a teaser:

Remember that time I marched everyone up a really steep hill even though there's a really easy way to get to the very same trail that requires no dismounting whatsoever?
That was awesome.
Hey, the first order of business on any ride should be punishing anyone who's using road cleats.
I am so over road cleats, and so should you be.
As for the next BSNYC-curated adventure, I'm hoping to carve out a little time for one before the weather gets too blustery and/or snowy, and I'd estimate the chances of that happening at something like 70/30.  And if you're wondering whether that means there's a 70% chance for or against, the answer to that question is simply "yes."
Moving on, we here at BSNYC Enterprises work hard to bring you quality bike-related content:

To that end, I'm pleased to announce an imminent editorial shift into product testing:

Well, half-kidding anyway, for the truth is I should have some exciting tech stuff on which to report in the coming days.  For one thing, I recently received an email informing me that after many, many weeks a Renovo wooden Fred Chariot has finally been hewn and shipped to my place of residence:
I'll believe it when I see it, but rest assured that as soon as it comes I'll strap on my coconut shell helmet and share my impressions with you:

Of course, riding a skinny-tired aero bike in November is about as seasonally appropriate as a g-string bikini, but I'm determined to make the best of it  This may even require my participation in one of the area group Fred rides, which is something I haven't done in quite some time.  Indeed, the very idea of a doing a Fred ride in the autumn strikes me as très gauche, and the discriminating cyclist is obviously focussed on more dirt-oriented exploits at this time of year, but alas I am at the mercy of Big Wood and its powerful lobbyists.
Oh, and if you ever need to know the model year of a Renovo bicycle, simply saw it in half and count the rings:

And in other tech news, who can forget my suspension column for Outside, which bike dorks all over the Internet are still talking about?

I mean seriously, get a freaking life already.
Anyway, while quite frankly I could have done without some of the attention (Pinkbike and the Radavist creep me out in the same way that sports bars and police stations do), I was quite excited to hear from one Jeff Jones of Jones Bikes, who it turns out appreciated what I'd written.  No doubt you're familiar with his bikes:

And his handlebars:

And as he espoused his approach to fit, handling, and cycling in general I found myself nodding so vigorously in agreement that, like Tom Araya of Slayer, I can no longer headbang.  Here's where he's coming from, in case you don't know:


The upshot of all of this is that I'll be taking delivery of an H-Bar, which I will install on my Marin, and I look forward to seeing if this transforms it into the all-day bike I suspect it could be.

I also really want to try one of this bikes now, so hopefully one of these days I can make that happen, because they look like the kind of bike you can use like 90% of the time.  Between something like this and a WorkCycles I'd probably be totally covered.

And finally, this weekend is the Philly Bike Expo!


While I won't be giving a seminar I will be heading down there in a semi-professional capacity.  Also, for the first time I'll actually be staying the night, and there's a sort-of-halfway-decent chance I'll partake in one of the concomitant rides.  Indeed, I even got ahead of myself by making sort of an impulse buy the other day:


While I still believe strongly that the venerable Panaracer Pasela is the only tire you ever need for drop-bar riding, there these things were hanging on a hook in front of me and what kind of bike blogger would I be if I didn't try something new once in awhile?  And while I tend to suspect the only purpose little knobs like this serve is to wear quickly I'm certainly willing to be proved wrong.  So I'll throw them on the Milwaukee and see what happens.

And now to put the finishing touches on my Cipollini costume.  Hot wax here I come!

False Start!

You know when you step on the pedals only for your chain to snap?


Well, consider this post the broken link in your week.
Yes, owing to various blah blah blah and so forth today's post must be short, so I suggest you go amuse yourself over at the Bike Forecast, where you can read about the latest local media anti-bike screeds:

If you've ever longed to read a detailed statistical breakdown of your odds of being killed by an ebike versus by an order of Teriyaki beef then I promise you won't be disappointed.
Also, in case you missed it, my latest Outside column went up last Friday:

And you'll be thrilled to know that I'm finally writing up the BSNYC BOOMB!* Pre-Fondon't Ride report, which is only approximately five months late!

*[Beers On Old Man Brooks]
Please note that I have until the end of the year to organize the official 2017 Fondon't, or to retroactively re-brand the Pre-Fondon't Ride as the Actual Fondon't Ride, depending on how lazy I am.
Or we could just do a Mountain Fondon't instead:

I welcome your feedback.  (Unless it has to do with your thoughts regarding suspension.)
Until later,
I remain,
Blah blah and so forth,


--Wildcat Etc.

My Latest Outside Column Is Up!

And just in time for the weekend too!


Oh, and ironically, my Brompton has suspension:


So there you go.

Ride safe, have a great weekend, and I'll see you Monday!


--Wildcat Rock Machine

This Just In: I'm Off 'Til Monday!*

*Though not really because I have another blog, a column, and I'll be bloviating in person tonight so there.
To Who It Might Concern,

As of today I'll be signing off this blog until Monday, October 30th, at which point I will resume regular updates--however, it's more likely than not that I'll have a new column up on Outside before then, and if so rest assured I'll saunter back in to apprise you of that.

In the meantime, the Bike Forecast will continue uninterrupted.  (Today's post links to a very good article about what an utter load of shit our mayor's ebike crackdown is.)

Finally, if you need me this evening, I'll be here:


Not only is it free, but there will be both beer and banter!

Join us for a fast-paced hour of ideas, entrepreneurs and bikes, capturing the exciting things happening in the bike industry at DRAFT: NYC in Brooklyn.
Directions: 
61 Greenpoint Ave., Greenpoint, Brooklyn
The nearest train is G. Stop at Greenpoint Avenue and proceed to Brooklyn Bicycle Co. We're in suite 638 - buzz 970 and walk around the corner to the elevator and head up to the 6th floor!  
Program: 
6:30 - 7:00 pm: Beer and banter
7:00 - 8:00 pm: Program + Speakers
8:00 - 9:00 pm: More beer and banter  
Speaker Lineup:
- Paul Steely White, Transportation Alternatives          
- Eben Weiss, Bike Snob NYC 
- Courtney Williams, The Brown Bike Girl 

I'm looking forward to a night out on the town, though I can't help but be annoyed that when I lived in Brooklyn nobody ever wanted to come there, and now that I don't everybody expects you to come to Brooklyn.

Though now that I think about it the common theme is that nobody wants to be around me, and I can't say that I blame them.

And with that I bid you a-dew for now.  Ride safe, live dangerously, and I'll see you back here on Monday October 30th if not sooner.

Your's Sinserely,


--Wildcat Rock Machine

Another Day, Another Dumb Newspaper Article About Helmets

I can't deal anymore, I just can't.

First of all, read this tweet:

Reviewed: The new Terrain Dynamics AIRhub. An Australian invention that brings the indoor trainer, outside. https://t.co/neXVNRbGxN pic.twitter.com/ciYWC9gqRK— CyclingTips (@cyclingtips) October 23, 2017

Oh come on.  What next?  Bringing solitary bathroom masturbation to dating?  Of course, we've seen the AIRhub before, but this article contains new and exciting information, such as how you control it with a smartphone:

The AIRhub is a wireless self-powered resistance unit designed to be used outdoors and on the road. The unit is controlled by a smartphone app that allows users to program how much resistance is applied during a training session.

In practice, what that means is that the AIRhub is designed to slow the bike down. While this effect is somewhat analogous to applying the front brakes, the AIRhub does it automatically and silently, just like a smart indoor trainer. In addition, there is a choice of five different modes for modulating the resistance of the AIRhub to different kinds of workouts.

There's also insight into the inventor's inspiration, which came from riding around with inner tubes full of water and doing group road rides on mountain bikes:

Another aspect that was important was the way that the system behaved on the road. “I had been doing funny things for a number of years, like using heavier tyres, adding weights to my rims, filling my tubes with water, or going on a bunch ride with a mountain bike.

“If I used a heavy tyre, it would give me a certain kind of road feel. If I added weights to my rims, the road feel would be completely different. Putting water in my tubes was different again, but it wasn’t until I developed the first prototype for the AIRhub that I found the road feel and load I was looking for. It still felt a lot like a racing bike but I could give it a few percent extra. And the faster I went, the harder it got

In other words, the is the polar opposite of an ebike--all for the low price of $1,500:

Terrain Dynamics sells the AIRhub direct to customers via its website for AUD$1,950 (~US$1,530), excluding shipping. That price includes the wheel along with all of the accessories described, plus a two-year warranty.

Speaking of onerous accessories, august commenter Leroy alerted me to the following article, and while I did my best not to read it I ultimately failed:


Even a careful cyclist is likely to crash about once every 4,500 miles and, based on personal observation, many city cyclists are anything but careful. Although reliable details are lacking on bike share accidents in New York or elsewhere, one shattering statistic reported by New York City for cyclists in general stands out: 97 percent of cycling deaths and 87 percent of serious injuries occurred to people who were not wearing helmets.

Yes, when making statements about public health policy there's no more persuasive phrase than "based on personal observation," though "reliable details are lacking" comes close.

I’ve been a cyclist for more than 70 years, most of them before anyone thought about wearing a helmet (protective helmets for recreational cyclists didn’t even exist until 1975). Although I’ve owned many helmets in the last four decades, I admit to occasionally not wearing one to avoid “helmet hair” before an evening out.

Great!  So what's the problem?

But a few weeks ago I learned firsthand how foolish it was to worry more about my hair than my head. Luckily, my helmet was securely in place when, for reasons unknown, I fell forward over the handlebars while riding slowly uphill a few houses from home. Although I suffered a mild concussion and have no memory of the accident (I also sustained a nasty cut on my chin, badly bruised ribs and a scraped knee), my helmet prevented a serious brain or facial injury.

I will never again mount a bicycle without the helmet on my head where it belongs, not in my backpack, bike basket or, worse, at home.

Funny how when bad things happen to people "for reasons unknown" they come to one of two conclusions: wear a helmet, or accept Jesus as your lord and savior.

There are laws requiring young cyclists to wear helmets in 21 states and Washington, D.C., and at least 200 localities, but very few cover adult riders. A common sight in my neighborhood: Fathers riding helmetless with their helmeted child on a bike seat behind them.

Oh please.  A common sight in my neighborhood: Fathers dining in regular chairs with their child in a high chair beside them.  And don't even get me started on diapers!

People love to get sanctimonious when it comes to riding with kids, yet I've never heard anyone even attempt to cite statistics indicating child-portaging is particularly dangerous, probably because it isn't.  If anything, riding slowly in an upright position while avoiding risks because you've got a kid on the bike is probably about as safe as pushing a stroller down the sidewalk regardless of what anyone happens to be wearing on their heads.

But let's not forget the teenagers:

Teenagers seem especially resistant to wearing helmets, yet with their still-developing brains they probably incur the greatest risks and have the most to lose from a head injury. “There’s often a rebellion aspect among teens,” Mr. Swart said. “They say, ‘All through childhood, my parents forced me to be safe. Now I want to make my own decisions about risk.’” College students and young adults often also think similarly, he said.

This is absolutely true.  Teenagers refuse to wear helmets in cars and it's a major problem.  That's why so many of them die in motor vehicle collisions.

I worry too about younger children, even those whose parents insist that they wear a helmet when riding a scooter, tricycle or bicycle. I see many such riders with parents in tow in my Brooklyn neighborhood, and in at least half the cases I’ve observed, the helmet is too big or is not on correctly and likely to provide little protection in a serious fall or crash.

I see that too.  That's why you should just spare the child the foam dome altogether.  Here's something I watched in a playground just the other day:

KID ON BIKE WITH TRAINING WHEELS WEARING HELMET SIDEWAYS:  "Mommy, I want to ride without the helmet."
MOMMY: "NO!!!  You have to wear a helmet."
KID ON BIKE WITH TRAINING WHEELS WEARING HELMET SIDEWAYS: [Takes of helmet and walks away from bike.]
THE END
And that's how we're creating tomorrow's Hyundai lessees today.

Thanks, Jane E. Brody, for doing your part.

CSPC-Mandated Title You're Welcome To File Off Once You Get Home

Well hey, look at that!  I have another smug piece of extracurricular prose to share, this one from Reclaim:


How, then, are we supposed to mint the cyclists of tomorrow? Are they supposed to leap fully formed from the head of Zeus? Are they supposed to ride up and down the sidewalk in front of their building until they hit puberty? How does a child learn that cycling is a healthy and normal form of transportation when actually doing it with their parents is nearly impossible?

Of course there are those who would argue that cycling is not a healthy and normal form of transportation and that we should all do things the American way instead:


This certainly seems to be what people who follow Outside magazine on Facebook think, because on Friday they published this:


And as I predicted, the Facebook commentary was head-splittingly stupid.  For example, did you know that cyclists never have the right of way over a driver?


Then there's one of my favorite forms of Internet commentary, which is when some doofus tries to reduce you to a stereotype and fumbles it completely:

Wrong, dipshit.  I'll be making steak for dinner tonight, and I've often considered buying parakeets from Petco and using them as cat toys.  But sure, anyone who thinks differently from you is a "vegan," which is something you use as a pejorative because you lead a depressingly provincial existence.
That's not to say I'm not above stereotyping people myself.  For example, I bet Nicholas White is a guy who uses too much hair product and repairs vinyl seats for a living:

Hey, I was right!
Have a cracked dash or seat from the heat I can fix it, contact me for a quote - ‎Blanco Interiors LLC
Not that there's anything wrong with that, because it sounds like good, honest work.  In fact I feel sort of bad for him now, since I realize he's merely being protective of his livelihood.  But he needn't worry, because in a car-free future he can easily transition into bicycle saddle repair.

Hey, I'd hire him to repair my car seats, but unfortunately they're made out of cloth.  Nevertheless, if he'd like to suck the farts out of them for me I've got a sawbuck with his name on it.
Oh, and speaking of Outside columns, while I'm sick of the subject of suspension to the point of nausea I did spot this bike yesterday during a family outing to the Botanical Garden:


And while it's always a treat to spot a rolling time capsule I was particularly taken with the fork:

My knowledge of '90s suspension is fairly cursory since I was deep in the throes of Fredness at the time, but the Twitterati were kind enough to inform me that it's an AMP Research fork.

Alas, AMP research are now focussed on truck running boards and the like, so there you go:


Finally, just another reminder to join me for some beer and bloviation in Brooklyn on Wednesday:


Join us for a fast-paced hour of ideas, entrepreneurs and bikes, capturing the exciting things happening in the bike industry at DRAFT: NYC in Brooklyn.
Directions: 
61 Greenpoint Ave., Greenpoint, Brooklyn
The nearest train is G. Stop at Greenpoint Avenue and proceed to Brooklyn Bicycle Co. We're in suite 638 - buzz 970 and walk around the corner to the elevator and head up to the 6th floor!  
Program: 
6:30 - 7:00 pm: Beer and banter
7:00 - 8:00 pm: Program + Speakers
8:00 - 9:00 pm: More beer and banter  
Speaker Lineup:
- Paul Steely White, Transportation Alternatives          
- Eben Weiss, Bike Snob NYC 
- Courtney Williams, The Brown Bike Girl 

As a father of seventeen (17) children I don't get out too much these days, so expect me to drink way too much free beer and pass out a good 20 minutes before I'm supposed to speak.

Should be fun.

BSNYC Friday No Quiz But One Of These Days I'm Gonna Drop One On You When You Least Expect It

Thanks for bearing with me while I forked off for a ride, even though you didn't have any choice:


(Who am I kidding?  They're all mellow.)
I should mention that I once again encountered skateboarding dog walker guy, and I'm pleased to report that this time he did not fall down.  He was, however, deeply engaged in taking video of his dogs with his phone while riding the skateboard.  I did briefly consider asking him for his thoughts on the recent sled dog doping scandal, but decided against it.

Anyway, I of course rode a rigid bicycle today, and as usual it was a highly enjoyable experience, despite the Internet's insistence that this is not possible:


Indeed, my Outside post on suspension continues to get people's baggy shorts in a bunch, for a number of people have informed me that the bros over at Pinkbike are currently having themselves a real bro-down over it.  Alas, I can't be bothered to link to it, and while I did skim it for a few moments my eyes glazed over as soon as I read the inevitable "cars and motorcycles all have suspension so bikes should too" comment.  I should also point out I've never read Pinkbike for the same reason I've never worn a Monster energy drink jersey, and all I really know about their community is this, which frankly is more than I ever want to know.

Anyway, it's odd that the baggy-shorts-and-shinguard set is so touchy about someone saying you don't need suspension all the time, since it clearly works for them and the kind of riding they do, and as far as I'm concerned that's never been in question.  Perhaps the reason they're all butt-hurt is that their posteriors are overly sensitive from years of coddling from suspension bicycles.

Anyway, may the Pinkbros ride on, and may their Red Bulls be eternally chilled, their pick-ups brilliantly polished, and their Go Pros always fully charged.

Finally, speaking of Outside, they've just posted my latest column, and I'm pleased to announce it has absolutely nothing to do with suspension:


I look forward to many Facebook posts about how drivers pay for the roads and how without cars we'd never be able to get our full suspension bikes to the trailhead.

Ride safe this weekend and I'll see you back here on Monday.


--Wildcat Rock Machine

Just a Couple of Quick Things

Apologies for the late post, my cat flushed herself down the toilet again.  Given the lateness of the hour I won't keep you, but I will let you know that on Wednesday, October 25th, this is happening:



Join us for a fast-paced hour of ideas, entrepreneurs and bikes, capturing the exciting things happening in the bike industry at DRAFT: NYC in Brooklyn.
Directions: 
61 Greenpoint Ave., Greenpoint, Brooklyn
The nearest train is G. Stop at Greenpoint Avenue and proceed to Brooklyn Bicycle Co. We're in suite 638 - buzz 970 and walk around the corner to the elevator and head up to the 6th floor!  
Program: 
6:30 - 7:00 pm: Beer and banter
7:00 - 8:00 pm: Program + Speakers
8:00 - 9:00 pm: More beer and banter  
Speaker Lineup:
- Paul Steely White, Transportation Alternatives          
- Eben Weiss, Bike Snob NYC 
- Courtney Williams, The Brown Bike Girl 

Yep, there I am, one of the featured speakers.  As for what "exciting things happening in the bike industry" I'll be speaking about, I haven't decided yet, but I'm open to suggestions.  At the moment I'm considering a treatise on how to determine the correct tire pressure, but if I give away all my pneumatic curation secrets I'll have nothing else left.

Also, a reader was kind enough to forward me the following commerical:


In it, Dad comes down the drive in his shiny GMC douchewagon:


Delighted, his son comes running:



Oooh boy, Dad has something special!  What is it?  A new bike maybe?


Nope!  Kids don't ride bikes anymore, silly!  It's a plastic truck!


Of course the kid is delighted:



And immediately takes off in it while wearing a fucking helmet:


All of which raises an important question:

If kids are now expected to wear helmets while driving, shouldn't adults be expected to do the same?

It only stands to reason.

Wednesday!

This morning I off-fucked for a ride because I'm a bike blogger goddamn it and if you can't take a ride once in awhile then what the hell is the point?


As you can see from my Strava, the ride was wholly unremarkable in both distance and duration, though it was quite enjoyable nonetheless.  I find that 20 miles is the ideal distance for the busy cyclist in that it's short enough to work into your day yet long enough to make you feel like you did something.  To that end I have established sort of a basic loop I use, and then I season to taste with various climbs and dirt sections depending on my mood.  This allows me to maintain my tenuous grip on sanity's pinky toe, though I'm always a missed ride away from losing it altogether.
By the way, there's a little dongle on the ride where I briefly considered taking a different route but then changed my mind, doubled back, and returned to my usual one:

Conditioning is a powerful thing.
Anyway, all that aside, there was one remarkable aspect of today's ride, which I will relate forthwith.  I was rolling out on the South County Trailway, which is a paved multi-use converted rail-trail thingy that looks like this:

Indeed it was just after my little detour, and as I rode I came upon someone "walking" at least six nearly identical large brown dogs while riding a skateboard.  Due to the large number of canines I assumed he must be a professional dog walker, though usually they're walking a wildly disparate array of dogs: a great dane, a dachshund, a Bassett hound, a chihuahua, a poodle, and so on.  This guy's dogs however were completely interchangeable (no, I don't know what kind they are, I'm not a Dog Fred), so either he specialized in large brown dogs or else they were all his own and he was practicing his dogsledding.
As you can imagine, Nanook the Schook and his team were taking up the entire width of the path.  Furthermore, owing to the gradual rise in the path, he was moving very slowly on his skateboard, pushing with his right foot, then switching quickly to his left, and then reverting to the right again.  It was a pathetic display.
Nevertheless, I always strive to be polite to a fault when sharing these sorts of paths, and so as I approached I searched my brain for the proper phrase with which to announce my presence so that I might pass him.  Of course "On your left" simply wouldn't do, and "Mush!" might cause his dogs to bolt, so clearly I had a lot of thinking to do.  In the meantime, while I curated just the right phrase, I figured I might as well hang back and take a photo of this profoundly selfish tableau.  
Naturally, as a recovering Fred I keep my phone in a Ziploc baggie, and so it took me a few moments to fish it out.  Finally, just as I did, the skateboarding dog walker turned around, looked at me, and then went flying into the air as though his board was spring-loaded.  Now I don't know if this is because he was startled to see me, or because he'd hit a stick or some other obstacle (the pathway was loaded with them), or some combination of the two, but as he hit the deck and tumbled it occurred to me that it would be ungentlemanly of me to take a picture under these circumstances and so I slipped it back into my pocket again.  
All of that is a roundabout way of saying I have no photos of this event whatsoever, which is why I have been forced to recount the tale using prose.
Anyway, once he'd righted himself I of course asked if he was OK, and he said he was, and that was good enough for me so off I went.  Also, as far as I'm concerned I believe I have no culpability in this incident, but if you feel differently please feel free to let me know.
Moving on, here's the definitive video feature on helme(n)t etique(n)tte:


For the record, I was appalled by the suggestion that you should hang your helmet from the doorknob while using the restroom, since everybody knows you should always wear your helmet while relieving yourself in cycling shoes at all times:

Come to think of it, walking on a tiled floor in cycling shoes is probably the most dangerous thing you'll do on your ride.