Hal Young's Blog, page 43
August 26, 2012
Overcoming Shyness
This is Melanie. I am very shy. Okay, stop laughing! I’m serious! It’s pretty hard to imagine, I’m sure, how someone who speaks every year to thousands of people, does radio interviews and web broadcasts and loves talking to people at our booth could possibly be shy, but it’s true. I hate picking up the phone to call someone, hate even more answering it, and struggle to reach out sometimes, if you can believe it!
So, how does someone shy end up a public speaker? By learning to overcome it.
Shyness, I think, comes from focusing too much on myself: “What will I say?” “What will I do?” “What will others think of me?” It’s about constantly thinking of my own comfort zone, my own feelings, and wondering how others see me. For me, overcoming shyness came in thinking instead of others.
I used to hate big parties. I felt so awkward, wondering, “Who is going to come talk to me? Who will I sit with? Will I be left out?” I hated for anyone else to feel that way, so I began to look for people who were alone at parties or people who looked uncomfortable. I would go and make conversation with them, introduce myself, share about the event, ask about them. Their relief was palpable – and my shyness was completely forgotten. By focusing on others, I forgot to focus on myself!
Similarly, when we first started speaking in public and I was nervous, I would show up early for the engagement. I would sit on the first row and make conversation with other early arrivals. The ones that come early and sit in the front are those that are feeling a strong need to hear the topic, so they would always start sharing about whatever was going on in their lives. When it came time to step up on the stage, I could then talk right to them, giving them the help they needed. Ministry overcame shyness!
So, how do we help our children? I think we first try to help them get out of their own heads and think about others. Got a child who doesn’t want to talk to others? Afterward, talk to them about how the ones they wouldn’t talk to felt. Help them to understand the other person’s perspective. There is a lot of growing up in just that.
Secondly, we teach them to be ministry-minded. I don’t necessarily mean going out and participating in a formal ministry, but to think about other people as real people with real needs and feelings and a real need for a Savior. We they begin to see that, it will change their own perspective.
And finally, we prepare them for situations as we face them. Going to a history club meeting today? What do you think we have to offer the group? How can we help? What talents has God given us that could bless our group? What should we do if there are new folks there? Help them to see that stepping up and leading gives you great opportunities to do good. Help them look for opportunities to serve Christ. We need to help them get their eyes off themselves and onto Christ – and through Him, to see the needs of their neighbors.
Shyness is hard. It’s emotional. It’s uncomfortable. I don’t want to let it stand in the way of doing what the Lord wants me to do here, though. And I hope you and your children won’t either!
Melanie
August 21, 2012
Announcing our Facebook Party Winners!
Congratulations
to the winners of last week’s
Facebook Party giveaways!
Sponsor of the Giveaway
Prize
Winner Name
Media Angels
Ultimate Homeschool Expo2012 Set
Judith Martinez
Apologia Educational Ministries
I Don’t Have Enough Faith To Be An Atheist – Book and Workbook set by Frank Turek and Norman Geisler
Sharon Huizinga
Trivium Pursuit
Teaching the Trivium
and
The Fallacy Detective
Edie Carter
Knowledge Quest, Inc.
Map Trek hardcover + CD-ROM (complete world and US set)
Angela Upright
Classical Composers Monthly
Lifetime access to Classical Composers Collection 1, 2, AND 3!
Sharon Huizinga
My Audio School
One free subscription to My Audio School, good for one year
Suzi Fabry
SchoolhouseTeachers.com
One-year SchoolhouseTeachers.com membership
Shannon Vickery
Great Waters Press
Free Pass to any of our Boot Camp Live Webinar Series
Karibeth Davis
Keep your eyes open for the announcement of the winners on the other Great Waters Press sites: A Cry From Egypt and Children in Church!
And join our newsletter list to hear about other great giveaways and resources and for encouragement in raising godly sons:
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Email Marketing You Can Trust
August 19, 2012
An Open Letter to Parents Considering Divorce
Here’s a letter I posted in response to a homeschooling mother who told an email list that she was thinking of divorcing her husband because she didn’t love him anymore and they were not getting along at all. I hope if you are thinking of divorcing your mate, that you will read this very carefully and think it through.
Dear Friend,
I wish I could give you a hug! I’m so glad you asked for help instead of going to a lawyer! I believe God will intervene in this situation!
Now for the tough love part: a real, practical, earthly reality check. We are state homeschool leaders and sooner or later, many problems in the homeschool community in our state cross our desk. We see a lot of divorce situations! How in the world, you’re probably thinking, would a divorce affect homeschool leaders? Here’s the reality check: when you divorce, you are telling the state that you can no longer run your own family, that the adults in the marriage are no longer in agreement, so can not be allowed to make decisions about the children. When you do this, the family judge has, hear me, **complete authority** over your family. Most family judges are older people who are ignorant about homeschooling and they will jump on the slightest excuse to *order* you to place your children in public school. Now, I know that there are exceptions to this, but you can’t decide what judge your case comes before. Our state homeschool board members and those in other states will testify if asked, but generally to no avail. And HSLDA will not help you in custody situations, even if homeschooling is the issue.
Now, you may think that you and your husband are in agreement about homeschooling, but when it comes to a divorce, *anything* can be used as a weapon. When someone is cut to the quick – and tearing apart a one-flesh relationship definitely does this – they can react like a wounded animal. We see parents reporting each other to social services, calling the state oversight agency and making complaints, asking the judge to give them total custody, asking the judge to stop the homeschooling. We see this a *lot*because the hurt or angry mate knows how important this is to their spouse. Often these are Christian, homeschooling families that no one ever thought would be in this situation.
Even if you can possibly get through the judicial situation, you are not done with your husband. When a couple with children divorces, I think they seldom realize that they will be tied to each other forever through the children and courts. One of my dear, homeschool-mom friends is allowed to homeschool, but her husband has custody every weekend (and even if it is a situation where there is wrongdoing in the marriage, 50/50 custody is the norm), so she almost never gets to go to church with her son, never gets to relax on a Saturday with him. Every other holiday is alone. He is gone a lot of the summer to make up for the 5 days she has him to every 2 his father does during the week. This, if you can believe it, is one of the best situations I know – not much of a best is it?
I can not urge you strongly enough, that nothing short of a real, physical, abusive situation or unrepentent adultery is even close to worth submitting your family for the rest of your children’s childhood to the authority of a probably unsaved, probably hostile judge! Trust me, we see a lot of tough situations, and legal separation or divorce will not take away your problems, they will just become problems you are not allowed to change – court orders. How much better to imitate Christ in His love for us – the church. He loves us despite our sin and unfaithfulness. In fact, we love Him because He first loved us.
The next thing we see, is moms who have gotten through all that and now they have to support themselves. Generally, judges will *not* order the husband to completely support the family as before since he sees no reason the wife should not work. And if you go to work, you can bet the judge will want to know who is supervising the children and not believe you can homeschool, too. I imagine it’s even worse for a dad who wants to keep his children homeschooling. It’s a vicious cycle.
Now, there are people who get through divorce more easily than this, but can you take that chance? If Satan cares enough about wrecking your familyto spend two years tempting you away from loving and respecting your husband, do you think he will stop when victory is in his grasp?
I’m not going to go into the spiritual and emotional rebuilding advice, because I think you are getting a lot of great help, except to say, God would not command us to love one another if it wasn’t something we can choose to do and not something that comes and goes without our decision.
Dear friend, I really don’t want to see you go through this! You may even be in our state. I don’t want to have to see a judge take over your family. Please count the cost and ask God to restore your marriage.
With much love,
Hal & Melanie Young
Update: Since this was first published, we saw this very situation play out among friends of ours. The father committed open, unrepentant adultery, but the judge divided all the assets and the children’s custody 50/50, even though the father chose to live in sin with his mistress with the children in the house. The judge ordered the always-homeschooled children into public school and gave the adulterous father equal rights over every decision. The children’s world was rocked. Judge Mangum pointed out:
How does this affect the children? Generally badly – for decades! Read this.
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August 14, 2012
WHERE DID EVERYBODY GO?
I see you there. Worried that Facebook failed during the most exciting evening of your year, that you’ve lost your mind, or that Smithfield, NC, has been eaten by a gigantic sinkhole. Never fear….
The party has moved over to the A Cry From Egypt Facebook page — the home of our dear friend and new author Hope Auer! Hurry on over there for more great giveaways and discussion!
http://www.acryfromegypt.com/
http://www.facebook.com/hopeauerbooks
One Year Membership to SchoolhouseTeachers.com
SchoolhouseTeachers.com is a members-only website by The Old Schoolhouse Magazine.
We have 17 Schoolhouse Teachers who offer lessons daily, weekly, or monthly for preschool through high school.
Members also have access to the Schoolhouse Planners and past recorded Schoolhouse Expos.
YOU COULD WIN A YEAR’S MEMBERSHIP TO SchoolhouseTeachers.com – a $64.26 value
Win a Poem Written in Your Honor
Have you ever wanted a poem written in your honor? During the heights of the Renaissance, artists, poets, and composers were often supported by noblemen and royalty, in return for masterful works of art being completed in the patron’s honor.
Well…. tonight might just be your chance to play the role of one of those patrons. Independent Christian musician and Singer-songwriter Matthew Henry Young (yes, our third son!) is sponsoring this giveaway.
Matthew will write a poem in honor of the winner, on a topic of YOUR CHOOSING! (Within reason and moral bounds, of course)
He’ll then hand write it on high-quality acid free paper, frame it, and mail it to you! Enter to win below!
http://www.facebook.com/matthewyoungmusic
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http://matthewhenryyoung.com/music/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMZ23sp2n20
One Year Subscription to My Audio School
My Audio School is giving away one free year’s subscription to their wonderful service!
My Audio School provides children with excellent, educational, downloadable audio content on a variety of school subjects in a format that they can easily use all by themselves. Classic books, old-time radio theater, historic radio and television broadcasts, and more make My Audio School a treasure trove for parents and students alike.
All the audios on My Audio School are organized by time period and subject matter. Children can listen with a click of the mouse, and links are provided to read books online, burn a book to CD, subscribe in iTunes or download to an Mp3 player. Every book is thoughtfully illustrated with fine art.
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Teaching the Trivium & Fallacy Detective from Trivium Pursuit
Teaching the Trivium: Christian Homeschooling in a Classical Style by Harvey and Laurie Bluedorn
How can you give your children the tools they need to teach themselves? Long ago students were first taught how to learn. Today, students are taught an encyclopedia of subjects – trivia – but they are not taught the basic skills of learning: to discover, to reason, and to apply. They are not taught the Trivium.
Can you homeschool in a classical style without compromising your Christian principles? Because we are Christians, we do not want to pursue non-Christian goals. Classical Education must be sifted through the critical screen of the Scriptures to be transformed into a Biblical model.
Can you homeschool in a classical style without buckling under the burden? There is only so much time in the day. For every subject, and for every age, we have a workable plan – which leaves you free to breathe. You can continue to use other approaches to homeschooling within the framework of Classical Education.
Is homeschooling about renewing family vision? The family is at the heart of God’s plan for restoring Christian culture. Homeschooling is not alternative education. Homeschooling was here first. We want to restore Biblical order to education.
Retail: $34
AND
The Fallacy Detective by Nathaniel Bluedorn and Hans Bluedorn
New Third Edition — More Fallacies, More Cartoons
What is a fallacy? A fallacy is an error in logic – a place where someone has made a mistake in his thinking.
These are fallacies:
“A cloud is 90% water. A watermelon is 90% water. Therefore, since a plane can fly through a cloud, a plane can fly through a watermelon.”
“This new book, The Fallacy Detective, must do a good job teaching logic. It has been on the bestseller list for months.”
We wrote this book to meet the needs of Christian parents who want a do-able text for introducing logic and critical thinking to their children.
Fun to use – not dry like a math textbook.
Self-teaching – not intimidating, starts students with skills they can use right away.
Each lesson has exercises for students, with an answer key at the back.
Covers logical fallacies and propaganda techniques. We divided the most common fallacies and propaganda techniques into thirty-eight lessons. We explain how you can spot fallacies, and we give exercises to stretch your abilities for detecting fallacies.
Geared for ages twelve and older – we suggest using The Fallacy Detective before advancing onto more difficult logic programs.
Includes The Fallacy Detective Game, giving you and your friends an entertaining way to spot and make up your own examples of fallacies.
Christian view of logic. Many critical thinking texts introduce political correctness. This book does not.
Can be used before or after The Thinking Toolbox
Cartoons to illustrate the logical fallacies discussed, including Peanuts, Dilbert, Calvin and Hobbes, and several original cartoons
This book is for fallacy detectives. We’ve designed this book to be a handy-dandy text for learning to spot the errors in thinking that you meet everyday on the street, in the newspaper, or on television – or errors you make yourself. An easy start to logic — for ages 12 and up.
Retail: $22
Lifetime Access to 3 Collections from Classical Composers Monthly
Make this the year you share classical music with your children!
Many homeschooling parents want to introduce their children to the art and beauty of classical music, but lack the funds or time to use most of the materials on the market. Now your family can enjoy learning about classical music each month with no hassle and no planning required! Each month you’ll get a themed collection of resources about a classical music composer that you can use with your children, including:
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-a playlist that you can click to enjoy right from your computer. Simple and easy!
-as well as other fun and interesting resources related to the composer, instruments, and time period
All resources are carefully screened to be family-friendly, high quality, and valuable for homeschool families!
Visit us at Classical Composers Monthly to learn all about it. Use coupon code REALMEN to take 25% off your subscription tonite!
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[image error]Marriage Retreat Online (or, a Marriage Retreat in Your Pajamas!)
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Coming Soon!
AND if you sign up for a Boot Camp and win a Free Pass, we’ll refund your tuition!
