Hal Young's Blog, page 45
July 2, 2012
A Memory Verse for This Week
With Independence Day looming just ahead, we were choosing a new memory verse to work on this week, and it seemed good to us to go with 2 Chronicles 7:14 –
“If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.”
On reflection, with the health care debate boiling up again, and with millions suffering from the heat wave, power and water outages, freak storms, and raging wildfires–not to mention our personal and corporate sins–, we could all use a dose of Divine intervention about now.
June 18, 2012
A Couple of Thoughts After Father’s Day
Homeschool conventions are pretty heavily loaded with (1) Visionary Things and (2) Nuts and Bolts Things. We do some of each, though we try to put lots of practical help in the visionary presentations and make sure the practial sessions are based on the Word. But convention organizers are always looking around for some sessions that are a little more diverting for the teenagers and fathers who might be less-than-engaged in a serious debate of phonics vs. look-see reading paedogogy.
Just for fun, this year, I offered to do a presentation in the character of Theodore Roosevelt. Here’s the subject c. 1918, and myself in Richmond last week:
It was an interesting experiment. One of the more enriching things for me was reading Roosevelt’s speeches, letters, and other writings in preparation for my session. Like Winston Churchill, Roosevelt was a prolific author and commentator who actually earned much more for his writing than his public service. As the father of six (some of them still young while he was President!), Roosevelt had some great things to say about the business of fatherhood and family life. It was more than personal, to him; he saw it as crucial to the health of the republic.
In 1905 he told an ecumenical conference on marriage and divorce,
It is impossible to overestimate the importance of the cause you represent. If the average husband and wife fulfil their duties toward one another and toward their children as Christianity teaches them, then we may rest absolutely assured that the other problems will solve themselves. But if we have solved every other problem in the wisest possible way, it shall profit us nothing if we have lost our own national soul; and we will have lost it if we do not have the question of the relations of the family put upon the proper basis.
From a long speech to a national mother’s organization, later that year:
[The] happiest and most honorable and most useful task that can be set any man is to earn enough for the support of his wife and family, for the bringing up and starting in life of his children … The man is but a poor creature whose effort is not rather for the betterment of his wife and children than for himself.
But my personal favorite, from his autobiography:
There are many kinds of success in life worth having. It is exceedingly interesting and attractive to be a successful business man, or railroad man, or farmer, or a successful lawyer or doctor; or a writer, or a President, or a ranchman, or the colonel of a fighting regiment, or to kill grizzly bears and lions. But for unflagging interest and enjoyment, a household of children, if things go reasonably well, certainly makes all other forms of success and achievement lose their importance by comparison.
It’s that unashamed affirmation of the joys, privileges, and duties of family life that make me appreciate Theodore Roosevelt, even while his progressive politics give me pause. There’s a lot more where these came from!
_________________
Theodore Roosevelt was thoroughly convinced of two things — that America was a special place with a glorious history, and that young men should learn patriotism, honor, and courage from the examples of that history. He and his friend Henry Cabot Lodge wrote Hero Tales From American History to teach those kinds of character lessons.
Now you can listen to Roosevelt’s and Lodge’s stirring stories
with music and sound effects!
A Couple Thoughts After Father’s Day
Homeschool conventions are pretty heavily loaded with (1) Visionary Things and (2) Nuts and Bolts Things. We do some of each, though we try to put lots of practical help in the visionary presentations and make sure the practial sessions are based on the Word. But convention organizers are always looking around for some sessions that are a little more diverting for the teenagers and fathers who might be less-than-engaged in a serious debate of phonics vs. look-see reading paedogogy.
Just for fun, this year, I offered to do a presentation in the character of Theodore Roosevelt. Here’s the subject c. 1918, and myself in Richmond last week:
It was an interesting experiment. One of the more enriching things for me was reading Roosevelt’s speeches, letters, and other writings in preparation for my session. Like Winston Churchill, Roosevelt was a prolific author and commentator who actually earned much more for his writing than his public service. As the father of six (some of them still young while he was President!), Roosevelt had some great things to say about the business of fatherhood and family life. It was more than personal, to him; he saw it as crucial to the health of the republic.
In 1905 he told an ecumenical conference on marriage and divorce,
It is impossible to overestimate the importance of the cause you represent. If the average husband and wife fulfil their duties toward one another and toward their children as Christianity teaches them, then we may rest absolutely assured that the other problems will solve themselves. But if we have solved every other problem in the wisest possible way, it shall profit us nothing if we have lost our own national soul; and we will have lost it if we do not have the question of the relations of the family put upon the proper basis.
From a long speech to a national mother’s organization, later that year:
[The] happiest and most honorable and most useful task that can be set any man is to earn enough for the support of his wife and family, for the bringing up and starting in life of his children … The man is but a poor creature whose effort is not rather for the betterment of his wife and children than for himself.
But my personal favorite, from his autobiography:
There are many kinds of success in life worth having. It is exceedingly interesting and attractive to be a successful business man, or railroad man, or farmer, or a successful lawyer or doctor; or a writer, or a President, or a ranchman, or the colonel of a fighting regiment, or to kill grizzly bears and lions. But for unflagging interest and enjoyment, a household of children, if things go reasonably well, certainly makes all other forms of success and achievement lose their importance by comparison.
It’s that unashamed affirmation of the joys, privileges, and duties of family life that make me appreciate Theodore Roosevelt, even while his progressive politics give me pause. There’s a lot more where these came from!
_________________
Theodore Roosevelt was thoroughly convinced of two things — that America was a special place with a glorious history, and that young men should learn patriotism, honor, and courage from the examples of that history. He and his friend Henry Cabot Lodge wrote Hero Tales From American History to teach those kinds of character lessons.
Now you can listen to Roosevelt’s and Lodge’s stirring stories
with music and sound effects!
May 30, 2012
Dan Quayle, the Culture War, and the Bull Elephant in the Room
You know things are getting bad when even the Washington Post notices that the swirling motion in the culture probably has something to do with a toilet. In a recent editorial, Isabel Sawhill of the Brookings Institution admits that the much maligned attack Dan Quayle made years ago, that sitcom character Murphy Brown was a bad example when she had a baby out of wedlock, was actually right on target. She notes ” a wealth of research strongly suggests that marriage is good for children,” and “marriage is a commitment that cohabitation is not.” 
Seems obvious to me, yet when we posted a link on our Facebook page a few weeks ago to an article about how the majority of children born to women under thirty are now born out of wedlock and mentioned our concern about it, we were flamed! One mom said the father of her children was too immature to marry. What? Then how in the world is he mature enough to be a father? Another said they would get married in a few years, but I thought, “Why not now?’ Most upsetting, several self-identified as Christians. Guess they skipped the chapter that said, “Feel sexual immorality.” That’s 1 Corinthians 6:18, in case you were wondering.
Tellingly, all the posts were from women. I wondered if perhaps the men involved just weren’t interested enough in fathering to like a page like Raising Real Men. I wondered if these mothers really preferred things the way they were or if they were just justifying the bad situation they’d gotten themselves into. I wondered if they understood that when a man really loves you, he doesn’t want you to be able to get away, he wants to make you his, to protect you, to give all he’s got.
That’s the elephant in the room and it’s a bull elephant. Where are the men? Why aren’t they acting like men? Why aren’t they anxious to regularize the relationship, to give their name to their love and children? Why aren’t they concerned that their beloved children be legitimate? A real man wants to protect those he loves, to protect their reputations, their inheritance, their future. Cohabitation does none of that. It’s just plain, old-fashioned fornication. It’s having a kept woman, a mistress, but in many cases the slobs aren’t even supporting these women they claim to love. It’s wrong. It’s very wrong.
Those of us raising what we hope are real men need to prepare them for marriage and commitment. We need to teach them that “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” We need to teach them that physical intimacy is only for marriage and it is selfish and shameful to seek it outside marriage. We need to raise men who marry, have children, and raise their own children in the Lord. We need to raise men who stay with their families and protect them. Even bull elephants do that.
May 2, 2012
Apprenticeship
I think both our families always thought it would be. For my first career, as an engineer, it was pretty much a given; when I moved from industry to consulting, it was a requirement for licensure. But with a down economy, rising costs, and the never-ending decline of campus social culture, parents are asking, “Isn’t there an alternative?”
In some careers, it seems better not to pursue the ivy-decked halls of higher education.
Recently I spoke with Ken Auer, one of the nation’s leaders in software development, about the idea of formal apprenticeships. Ken doesn’t see this as indentured servitude, like it was in the days of Johnny Tremain, but it’s a lot more intense than an after-school job, too. In his field, Ken said, the hands-on approach where students learn from masters of the craft is the best way to teach software development.
While the four-year college program is “a well-worn path,” he said, the emerging model of apprenticeship training is becoming “well-accepted in this industry.”
“It’s way better than a computer science degree,” Ken said.
One thing that makes this field so ripe for apprenticeship is the difference between learning facts and actually gaining experience, he said.
“Software is more like a trade than an academic discipline,” he explained. “You don’t experience ‘history,’ you learn it. You don’t have to do anything. A computer science program teaches the theory of how software works, like studying the history of architecture when what you want is to build a house.”
Ken has practiced this sort of training for many years. In fact, his company is named “Role Model Software,” to reflect the concept of disciples learning from a master teacher. It also reflects Ken’s Christian world view; he is an elder at his church, Southwest Wake Christian Assembly, which meets in nearby Raleigh, N.C.
“In the late 1980’s, I learned object-oriented software development by doing it,” Ken said, “and most talented people I met in the field did not have computer science degrees.” His first apprentice actually lived with a family where Ken worked for six months, and Ken was “amazed at the results” of the intense, one-on-one interaction and training that were possible. He trained “two or three dozen” developers in similar ways before starting RoleModel Software where he has trained several more.
To make this proven training method available to more students, Ken has created the RoleModel Software Craftsmanship Academy (www.CraftsmanshipAcademy.com) and is accepting applications for the first session this summer. SCA will offer the equivalent of 6 months of project-based training with Ken and his development staff; the latter half of that time will be working for actual customers, and graduates will continue into a twelve-month internship with RoleModel or another firm. Several screened companies have already committed to provide internships in anticipation of the SCA program and its expected results.
Ken speaks of the importance of having “an integrated lifestyle,” where each part works intentionally and harmoniously with all the others – career and family, spiritual and physical. It naturally leads to the training methods used by Christ with His disciples.
“You have to think about how your career choice will affect your family,” Ken said. “How will taking four years off for college affect your family?”
For more information, visit www.CraftsmanshipAcademy.com
May 1, 2012
A Boat For A Young Explorer
We both have great memories from childhood–spending time on the water with our dads or grandfathers, fishing with friends, or exploring lakes and ponds near our homes.
The water’s still there, but we didn’t have a boat to share with our own children, and we didn’t have the money to buy one.
Then we got an idea …
What if we built a boat as a family project?
We built this neat little craft for just $65 — with hand tools — while we were on vacation!
Like to know how?
We’re writing a downloadable ebook with plans, instructions, and photos of the project. Send no money now — just sign up below and you’ll be the first to know when it’s ready!
Sign up here and we’ll contact you as soon as it’s ready!
Email Marketing You Can Trust
April 27, 2012
I’ll Never Be A Brony
I think most men in my generation have fond memories from their childhood and youth. I still laugh at some really stupid comedy, I have some favorite movies that are just escapist adventures, and occasionally I re-read some of the books I loved as a child. Having little kids around gives you an excuse to play a bit. I’ll even admit to quoting Winnie the Pooh from time to time.
But I’ll never be a brony.
A raucous gathering at an Anaheim hotel on a recent Saturday night looked like any fanboy mini-convention — about 150 people, mostly guys in their late teens and early 20s, watched animation on big-screen TVs, recited dialogue from memory and jumped out of their seats to cheer for a storied franchise.
But it wasn’t a Marvel superhero, a Christopher Nolan blockbuster or a million-selling video game that had them rapt. It was the rainbow-hued fantasy world of “My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic,” a reboot of a classic kids TV series airing on cable network the Hub, that has found its way into the hearts of an unexpected demographic: adult men.
“My Little Pony” has spawned a testosterone-fueled subculture in Los Angeles and around the country so strong that its devotees have a name, “bronies” — combining “bro” and “ponies” — and produce a steady stream of flying-pony-inspired blogs, rock bands, fan art and YouTube videos.
National Review’s Greg Pollowitz asked “‘Testosterone-fueled subculture?’ Really?” It’s one thing to have a quiet appreciation for Thomas The Tank Engine (especially the early episodes narrated by Ringo Starr) … at least those stories were written for boys. But young men celebrating a little pony with cutie-marks and brushable rainbow mane?
You don’t have to go hyper-masculine to choose a hobby that doesn’t call your gender identity into question. Whatever good qualities MLP might have, this particular expression of them is not the stuff of manliness, Bro.
April 24, 2012
Benevolent Dictators or Trusted Advisors?
A mom came up after our session on raising boys, “My son is so frustrated and angry. He can’t understand why we won’t let him get his driver’s license, but he’s so immature still!”
“How old is he?” I asked
“Eighteen.”
My eyebrows went up, “What is he planning to do next year?”
“Oh, he’ll be going to a university,” mentioning one many hours away.
I was concerned she didn’t believe he was mature enough to drive but was prepared to stand up for his beliefs in the college environment. We continued to talk and after a while she mentioned that she hadn’t spoken to her parents in over 20 years.
“Oh no! What happened?” Breaking contact permanently is the capital punishment of relationships.
“My parents just wouldn’t let me grow up! They kept treating me like a child, not letting me do adult things, so when I was 19 I ran away and never looked back.”
I paused, stunned. “Perhaps you should reconsider and allow your son to get his driver’s license.” She suddenly turned white as a sheet as she realized for the first time that she was doing the same thing to her son.
So, what kind of parent should you be? Benevolent dictator or trusted advisor?
Well, it depends on the season of your child’s life. A toddler is in desperate need of a benevolent dictator to teach him the law of God and the rules of civilization, but if we haven’t transitioned to the role of trusted advisors by the time our children are on their own, we’ve made a grave error.
As we travel around the country, we meet many Christian families. Unfortunately, quite a few great families seem to falter during the transition from childhood to adulthood. We’ve noticed that the adult children of parents who retain control too long tend to either rebel or become passive, lacking drive and motivation. This is especially true of boys. God made them to be men. He made them to lead.
Of course, it’s right and proper to train them to obey! “Rather, let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves.” (Luke 22:26)
As they get older, though, we’ve got to prepare them to stand alone and to be adults. We won’t always be there and even if we could be, they need to learn to rely on God themselves. So how do you do that? How do you move from a benevolent dictator to a trusted advisor?
“One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much.” Luke 16:10
We give them as much responsibility as they can handle, as soon as they can handle it – and a little sooner than they think they can. That way, instead of pushing us away so that they can stand on their own two feet, they are reaching back to us for advice!
The process starts the first time you give them a job on their own, “Put all the toys away,” and it doesn’t end until you’ve got a young man who’s taken his place in the world, serving the Lord on his own. It’s not easy to figure all this out, but it is worth it to see those arrows fly out straight and true!
You can learn more about making the transition in our workshop, Homeschooling is Not Enough, which isn’t really about homeschooling at all. 
Hal & Melanie
Hal & Melanie Young are the authors of Raising Real Men: Surviving, Teaching and Appreciating Boys, the 2011 Christian Small Publishers Book of the Year. Learn more about raising boys to godly manhood at Raising Real Men. Follow them at Facebook and on Twitter. And keep an eye out for their upcoming book on marriage!
April 9, 2012
Full of Beans
My mom is a retired elementary school librarian. She said she heard arguments about whether sugar really affects children that much or not, but there was no question for her–the Monday after Easter (and the day after Halloween), she said, the kids were always wild.
Some days our boys are just full of beans–and while holiday candy just boosts the effect, we've learned it's not just the sugar which causes it! Children generally but boys in particular are energetic, enthusiastic, excessive creatures, and there are days when home life is mostly a blur or activity. It's great when you're doing yardwork, but hard when it's time to concentrate on schoolwork, for example.
Are your guys driving you around the bend today? You might enjoy hearing some of the ideas we share in Boot Camp 9-12, our weekly webinar series about raising your young men in the 9- to 12-year-old range, and preparing them to make their teen years a blessing to both of you. This week we'll talk about actually getting them through fifth grade — yes! It's possible! — and not only that, planning to make your life simpler and give them a sense of direction as they move toward high school and beyond.
This five week series just started but your subscription allows you to go back in time (sorta) and listen to the complete recorded workshop – slides, audio, video, and even the chat conversations. Won't you join us tonight?
April 8, 2012
Stormy Weather… Time For Another Look!
When you grow up in the Carolinas, you get used to thunderstorm warnings and tornado watches. They're so commonplace, most people seem to ignore them until the wind actually picks up and sirens blow. The National Weather Service is testing new messages (like,"You could be killed"), but I'm not waiting for the NWS. A couple of videos I saw this month are making me to think a bit differently about it.
This amazing footage from a NBC news helicopter in Dallas-Fort Worth, shows the recent tornado striking a truck terminal and throwing semi trailers hundreds of feet in the air (1:00 mark).
And this video from a home security system in West Liberty, Kentucky, captured the effect of a twister as it ripped the siding off the house and disintegrated the neighbors' storage buildings. Check out the tree rolling around the lawn after it was uprooted, and the backyard furniture bounding across the yard like tumbleweeds. Wow. The garage only stood for thirty seconds, and the whole event was over in sixty.
We aren't amateur storm chasers by any means, but I admit there are times I've enjoyed the spectacle when maybe I should have been inside, instead. These videos are not only good supplements for science class–and something the boys would find fascinating, to boot–, they offer an opportunity to talk about the need for discretion and judgment to complement our sons' natural courage and daring!
