Lisa Roecker's Blog, page 12
February 7, 2012
Tell The Truth Tuesday
My eyes are burning because I'm exhausted. And no, I haven't been writing. I haven't been working. I haven't been awake with sick kids. Hell, I haven't even started another crazy home improvement project.
My truth this week is that I'm reading.
Oh, it's been too long since I've really lost myself in a book. It's so easy to get caught up in reading books that you're supposed to read. I've been having conversations like this with myself for months:
Lisa: You know, you really should pick up [INSERT BOOK TITLE HERE] that everyone's talking about.
Other Lisa: Or I could watch more Canadian house porn?
Lisa: The publisher sent you that book. They're expecting a review! Tick-tock!
Other Lisa: But did you see what the Property Brothers did to that dump? The one is a realtor and the other one works with his hands. He's got these highlights that shimmer in the Canadian sunlight.
Lisa: Everyone will hate you if you don't read THAT BOOK. Get off Pinterest and READ you stupid HGTV whore.
Other Lisa: I'm sorry, I can't hear you. There's a marathon of Love It Or List It starting. That poor British designer always gets screwed by wonky roofs. Can't miss it. *Cranks the Canadian accents up to full volume*
Lisa: *sobs*
But over the past couple of weeks I've turned off the HGTV and I've completely stopped feeling obligated to read anything. If I start a book and I'm not completely hooked by chapter 5, I'm done.
And just like that reading is my new guilty pleasure. I tore through Jonathan Tropper's THE BOOK OF JOE (absolutely freaking genius), I devoured Emma's final adventure (SURRENDER by the amazing Lee Nichols) and now I'm completely and utterly lost in Stephen King's 11/22/63.
I feel like a new person. I feel inspired. I feel like a writer. No, screw that, I feel like a reader. And you know what? It feels good.
My truth this week is that I'm reading.
Oh, it's been too long since I've really lost myself in a book. It's so easy to get caught up in reading books that you're supposed to read. I've been having conversations like this with myself for months:
Lisa: You know, you really should pick up [INSERT BOOK TITLE HERE] that everyone's talking about.
Other Lisa: Or I could watch more Canadian house porn?
Lisa: The publisher sent you that book. They're expecting a review! Tick-tock!
Other Lisa: But did you see what the Property Brothers did to that dump? The one is a realtor and the other one works with his hands. He's got these highlights that shimmer in the Canadian sunlight.
Lisa: Everyone will hate you if you don't read THAT BOOK. Get off Pinterest and READ you stupid HGTV whore.
Other Lisa: I'm sorry, I can't hear you. There's a marathon of Love It Or List It starting. That poor British designer always gets screwed by wonky roofs. Can't miss it. *Cranks the Canadian accents up to full volume*
Lisa: *sobs*
But over the past couple of weeks I've turned off the HGTV and I've completely stopped feeling obligated to read anything. If I start a book and I'm not completely hooked by chapter 5, I'm done.
And just like that reading is my new guilty pleasure. I tore through Jonathan Tropper's THE BOOK OF JOE (absolutely freaking genius), I devoured Emma's final adventure (SURRENDER by the amazing Lee Nichols) and now I'm completely and utterly lost in Stephen King's 11/22/63.
I feel like a new person. I feel inspired. I feel like a writer. No, screw that, I feel like a reader. And you know what? It feels good.
February 3, 2012
Celebstalking by LiLa
Presumably, Emma Roberts was paid to stand with this random smart phone for some type of product endorsement type deal. Sadly, she looks like she's holding proof of life in a terrorist camp. Guess you get what you pay for Expand.
This picture really makes me wonder if Selena Gomez has seen the cover of THE LIES THAT BIND....
Sweet fancy Moses, horizontal stripes while pregnant!?!? Really, Jess? REALLY?
Is it just me or are you all waiting for an episode of The Hills about how K. Cavs faked her pregnancy to land her man. Maybe that show wasn't scripted after all.
This picture of the Bieber with Michael Jackson's kids and it may or may not be the single most awkward photograph ever taken. Justin looks sort of like he's scared that Blanket is going to dangle him from a hotel balcony.Happy Friday everyone!
February 1, 2012
Wha? Wednesday
We're going to assume that you're all on Pinterest. The reason we're going to assume this is because there was recently a THIS JUST IN! news story on one of the Cleveland news channels in regards to this groundbreaking community and if Cleveland news has gotten wind of Pinterest that's a pretty good indication that the website has officially jumped the shark.
It's no coincidence that immediately after this story ran, the 'everything' board has become a teensy, weensy bit saturated. We're talking LOL cats, creepy Jesus pics, questionable amateur photography, nasty recipe photos kind of saturated. Some of the pins we've been seeing make us laugh so hard we cry, so naturally we had to share them with all of you.
Buckle up for a few of our favorites from this week. Keep in mind that these are things actually pinned by actual members of the Pinterest community.
And without further ado we give you WHA? Wednesday.
It's no coincidence that immediately after this story ran, the 'everything' board has become a teensy, weensy bit saturated. We're talking LOL cats, creepy Jesus pics, questionable amateur photography, nasty recipe photos kind of saturated. Some of the pins we've been seeing make us laugh so hard we cry, so naturally we had to share them with all of you.
Buckle up for a few of our favorites from this week. Keep in mind that these are things actually pinned by actual members of the Pinterest community.
And without further ado we give you WHA? Wednesday.
January 31, 2012
Tell The Truth Tuesday
1. There's a slim chance that I cyberstalk the people who come to visit our house. I like to pretend that I'm doing it in the name of personal safety, but we all know that's a complete and utter lie. I'd happily sell my house to Voldemort if he offered asking price.
2. The house I've fallen in love with in such a desperate state of disrepair that if we end up buying it, I'll refuse to give the address to friends until after I've gutted the entire thing.
3. Ben has pink eye and I sort of love putting the drops in his eye. He looks so cute when he blinks in surprise.
4. I'm reading another adult book right now. If this trend continues I might start to actually (GASP) mature.
5. Laura has a new idea for a Wednesday blog feature that almost made me pee my pants. Stay tuned for WHA? Wednesday. The fun begins tomorrow.
2. The house I've fallen in love with in such a desperate state of disrepair that if we end up buying it, I'll refuse to give the address to friends until after I've gutted the entire thing.
3. Ben has pink eye and I sort of love putting the drops in his eye. He looks so cute when he blinks in surprise.
4. I'm reading another adult book right now. If this trend continues I might start to actually (GASP) mature.
5. Laura has a new idea for a Wednesday blog feature that almost made me pee my pants. Stay tuned for WHA? Wednesday. The fun begins tomorrow.
January 27, 2012
LiLa Quotes of the Week
"I honestly have no idea how to use a ruler."
- Laura
"I feel like my bangs are like that time when Mom had a mullet and no one had the heart to tell her."
- Lisa
"Um, like two notches past 8?"
-Laura when her husband asked her how long the wallpaper panel measured
"When she wets the bed I feel like it's her way of saying $%*% off."
-Laura on her daughter Lydia wetting the bed every single night
"I promise you, the girl in that car commercial is going places. She's going to be a BIG DEAL. You heard it here first."
-Mike Roecker on a random girl in a car commercial
"Facetime is the devil."
-Laura after fielding hundreds of Facetime calls from Lisa's neglected children
"When we're decrepit, old widows we're going to have the cutest apartment ever."
-Laura
"No Lisa. Lisa go home."
-Stacey's son Will the moment Lisa walked into the Vaughan house
"Braces are medieval."
-Laura on orthodontia
"J'a-freakin'-dore."
-Lisa on Midnight in Paris (God, I love me some Woody Allen)
Just so you know, posting this may or may not result in me losing my parents as overnight babysitters on Saturday. Proof that there is nothing I won't risk for a good blog post. Happy Friday!
- Laura
"I feel like my bangs are like that time when Mom had a mullet and no one had the heart to tell her."
- Lisa
"Um, like two notches past 8?"
-Laura when her husband asked her how long the wallpaper panel measured
"When she wets the bed I feel like it's her way of saying $%*% off."
-Laura on her daughter Lydia wetting the bed every single night
"I promise you, the girl in that car commercial is going places. She's going to be a BIG DEAL. You heard it here first."
-Mike Roecker on a random girl in a car commercial
"Facetime is the devil."
-Laura after fielding hundreds of Facetime calls from Lisa's neglected children
"When we're decrepit, old widows we're going to have the cutest apartment ever."
-Laura
"No Lisa. Lisa go home."
-Stacey's son Will the moment Lisa walked into the Vaughan house
"Braces are medieval."
-Laura on orthodontia
"J'a-freakin'-dore."
-Lisa on Midnight in Paris (God, I love me some Woody Allen)
Just so you know, posting this may or may not result in me losing my parents as overnight babysitters on Saturday. Proof that there is nothing I won't risk for a good blog post. Happy Friday!
January 26, 2012
The evolution of a smile...
I am a very emotional person. Always have been. When I cry, I cry hard. When I laugh, I laugh so hard I cry. BUT I create VERY stoic children.
Lydia spent her first 9 or so weeks looking like this:
Big ole blue eyes, flared nostrils, serious, serious stuff.
And now James? He makes us work extra, EXTRA hard for that smile. And just so you know, I've worked extra, EXTRA hard trying to get him to smile. If I put half as much effort into keeping my house clean or writing or exercising or...well, pretty much anything, I'd be a new woman. But who needs any of that stuff when you get that smidgen of a smile that makes everything, EVERYTHING worth it? Exactly.
Here's what I've got so far:
But the reality is, James spends most of his time looking like this:
So, I guess you could say he's emotional after all. Plus, rumor has it I was a terrible baby and my mom always said I had it coming. Sensitive or not, he's worth it. But for Lisa's sake, I hope he decides to hand out a few more smiles. Our writing career depends on it.
Lydia spent her first 9 or so weeks looking like this:
Big ole blue eyes, flared nostrils, serious, serious stuff.And now James? He makes us work extra, EXTRA hard for that smile. And just so you know, I've worked extra, EXTRA hard trying to get him to smile. If I put half as much effort into keeping my house clean or writing or exercising or...well, pretty much anything, I'd be a new woman. But who needs any of that stuff when you get that smidgen of a smile that makes everything, EVERYTHING worth it? Exactly.
Here's what I've got so far:
But the reality is, James spends most of his time looking like this:
So, I guess you could say he's emotional after all. Plus, rumor has it I was a terrible baby and my mom always said I had it coming. Sensitive or not, he's worth it. But for Lisa's sake, I hope he decides to hand out a few more smiles. Our writing career depends on it.
January 24, 2012
Tell The Truth Tuesday
1. Laura had the cutest post ever about baby James and Blogger ate it. (Or I deleted it out of spite because I'm jealous of baby James - you decide.)
2. I'm currently in the middle of a summer camp stand off with my husband. This has resulted in a good old fashioned e-mail fight. Gotta love technology.
3. I find it fascinating that almost every single HGTV show is filmed in Canada. Are Canadians more handy? Do they care more about real estate? I need answers.
4. I'm feeling slightly stressed about whipping up a fabulous dinner for my mother-in-law's birthday this Sunday. I was thinking of making homemade spaghetti or lasagna but that sounds kind of boring. Maybe chicken parmesan? Definitely Italian. Let me know if you have any brilliant ideas.
5. I should be taking a shower, but instead I'm writing this blog post. I'm not sure if you should be honored or appalled.
2. I'm currently in the middle of a summer camp stand off with my husband. This has resulted in a good old fashioned e-mail fight. Gotta love technology.
3. I find it fascinating that almost every single HGTV show is filmed in Canada. Are Canadians more handy? Do they care more about real estate? I need answers.
4. I'm feeling slightly stressed about whipping up a fabulous dinner for my mother-in-law's birthday this Sunday. I was thinking of making homemade spaghetti or lasagna but that sounds kind of boring. Maybe chicken parmesan? Definitely Italian. Let me know if you have any brilliant ideas.
5. I should be taking a shower, but instead I'm writing this blog post. I'm not sure if you should be honored or appalled.
January 23, 2012
When Life Gives You Lemons
It's happened to all of us.
You spend hours, days, weeks preparing for THE EVENT.
You primp and you preen and you rush around making sure everything is absolutely perfect.
And then you wait.
Five minutes go by.
Then twenty.
And before you know you've spent two hours on the couch waiting for someone who is clearly never going to come.
Now that I'm old and married with 3 crazy kids I was under the misguided impression that my days of being stood up were long over.
And then I hosted my first open house.
And no one showed.
And it sucked.
But there's a silver lining. (Isn't there always?)
I get to channel all of this angst into one of our books. Whether it's a huge zit, the perfect song blasting on the radio on a spring day or getting your ass handed to you by the real estate market, every day we get little reminders about what it was like to be 15. Most 32-year-old women probably ignore these adolescent aftershocks, but I'm not most 32-year-old women. One of my favorite shows is MTV's Awkward and I typically have more in common with the nannies at the playground than the moms.
The moral of the story? The next time life gives you lemons, write YA.
You spend hours, days, weeks preparing for THE EVENT.
You primp and you preen and you rush around making sure everything is absolutely perfect.
And then you wait.
Five minutes go by.
Then twenty.
And before you know you've spent two hours on the couch waiting for someone who is clearly never going to come.
Now that I'm old and married with 3 crazy kids I was under the misguided impression that my days of being stood up were long over.
And then I hosted my first open house.
And no one showed.
And it sucked.
But there's a silver lining. (Isn't there always?)
I get to channel all of this angst into one of our books. Whether it's a huge zit, the perfect song blasting on the radio on a spring day or getting your ass handed to you by the real estate market, every day we get little reminders about what it was like to be 15. Most 32-year-old women probably ignore these adolescent aftershocks, but I'm not most 32-year-old women. One of my favorite shows is MTV's Awkward and I typically have more in common with the nannies at the playground than the moms.
The moral of the story? The next time life gives you lemons, write YA.
January 20, 2012
Dear Nolan
Here's a Friday truth for all of you: We still read reviews of The Liar Society.
Yeah, I know it's tacky to admit it in public. Cool authors always say they never read reviews, but clearly our coolness factor was voided long, long ago so this shouldn't really be a shock to anyone who knows us. We normally follow the whole never publically comment on a review deal, because publically commenting on reviews gets authors in big, big trouble. But this review was too awesome to ignore.
From Nolan on Amazon:
A five star review:
excellente, December 4, 2011 This review is from:
The Liar Society (Paperback)
i think the title attracted me the most becuase pink hAIR is awesome. the mystery is great and it reminds me of the secret that we as a society keep from others to protect us.
Thank you, Nolan for FINALLY noticing the intricate layers of The Liar Society. It's totally an allegory for the pathetic emptiness of their meaningless consumer driven lives. (Gold star for anyone who can identify the movie from which I borrowed that quote.)
I took a look at the rest of Nolan's reviews and I'm impressed with his/her ability to concisely get right to the heart of whatever it is he/she happens to be reviewing.
On Elizabeth Scott's wrenching LIVING DEAD GIRL:
sad, January 9, 2012 This review is from:
Living Dead Girl (Paperback)
i think that this book teaches a lesson that we never know how lucky we are to have loving parents. we should also be aware of our surroundings and be on guard all the time and find someone we can trust no matter what thew situation is.
True that, Nolan. Being aware of your surroundings is ALWAYS a good idea.
On the DVD of the hit movie Stick It:
#1, December 4, 2011 Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?) This review is from:
Stick It (DVD)
this movie is grerat and no scratches so i am excited about that. i recommend buying this movie if its on sale. this really gets you in the mood for exercising
Puts you in the mood for exercising? Sign me up!
So, bottom line: Nolan - You are awesome. Thank you for taking the time to review books/items that you enjoy on Amazon. Even though we avoid commenting on reviews, I can't even begin to tell you how much every single review means to us. Each review has given us something to think about, made us smile or inspired a long conversation between Laura and I making fun of ourselves and our writing. Because in this business the only thing more obnoxious than being nasty to reviewers is taking yourself too seriously.
Happy Friday everyone!
Yeah, I know it's tacky to admit it in public. Cool authors always say they never read reviews, but clearly our coolness factor was voided long, long ago so this shouldn't really be a shock to anyone who knows us. We normally follow the whole never publically comment on a review deal, because publically commenting on reviews gets authors in big, big trouble. But this review was too awesome to ignore.
From Nolan on Amazon:
A five star review:
excellente, December 4, 2011 This review is from:
The Liar Society (Paperback)
i think the title attracted me the most becuase pink hAIR is awesome. the mystery is great and it reminds me of the secret that we as a society keep from others to protect us. Thank you, Nolan for FINALLY noticing the intricate layers of The Liar Society. It's totally an allegory for the pathetic emptiness of their meaningless consumer driven lives. (Gold star for anyone who can identify the movie from which I borrowed that quote.)
I took a look at the rest of Nolan's reviews and I'm impressed with his/her ability to concisely get right to the heart of whatever it is he/she happens to be reviewing.
On Elizabeth Scott's wrenching LIVING DEAD GIRL:
sad, January 9, 2012 This review is from:
Living Dead Girl (Paperback)
i think that this book teaches a lesson that we never know how lucky we are to have loving parents. we should also be aware of our surroundings and be on guard all the time and find someone we can trust no matter what thew situation is. True that, Nolan. Being aware of your surroundings is ALWAYS a good idea.
On the DVD of the hit movie Stick It:
#1, December 4, 2011 Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?) This review is from:
Stick It (DVD)
this movie is grerat and no scratches so i am excited about that. i recommend buying this movie if its on sale. this really gets you in the mood for exercising Puts you in the mood for exercising? Sign me up!
So, bottom line: Nolan - You are awesome. Thank you for taking the time to review books/items that you enjoy on Amazon. Even though we avoid commenting on reviews, I can't even begin to tell you how much every single review means to us. Each review has given us something to think about, made us smile or inspired a long conversation between Laura and I making fun of ourselves and our writing. Because in this business the only thing more obnoxious than being nasty to reviewers is taking yourself too seriously.
Happy Friday everyone!
January 19, 2012
Bookanistas: Austentatious
A warm welcome goes out to a few new Bookanistas up in here! Don't forget to check out their reviews! Now, if you're like me and watched the movie Notting Hill more times than you can count in college, read on about AUSTENTATIOUS...
What the back cover has to say:
While browsing in an Austin shop, Nicola James finds a blank vintage journal hidden among a set of Jane Austen novels. Even though Nic is a straight-laced engineer, she's still a sucker for anything Austen-esque. But her enthusiasm turns to disbelief once she starts writing in the journal - because somehow, it's writing her back...Itching for a bit of excitement, Nic decides to follow her "Fairy Jane's" advice. The result: a red-hot romance with a sexy Scottish musician who charms his way into Nic's heart in about five seconds flat. But a guy like Sean doesn't exactly fit into her Life Plan. With no one but Fairy Jane to guide her, Nic must choose between the life she thought she wanted - and the kind of happy ending she never saw coming...
What Lila has to say:
If you've followed our blog for long enough you're aware of our embarrassingly epic failure of a first novel entitled THE NORTH SHORE. And some of you may remember the premise of the book, which was, in our naive opinion, gloriously original and marketable--an update of Pride and Prejudice for young adults! But not just any update, an update that remained steadfastedly true to the original, which loosely translates into boring, boring, BORING. Trashed, unoriginal, unmarketable novel aside, Jane Austen-esque books are still very, very close to our hearts, which is why we fell head over heels in love with AUSTENTATIOUS by Alyssa Goodnight.
Bottom line: if you're going to read an Austen-inspired novel, do yourself a favor and choose this one. First of all, it takes place in one of the best cities ever, Austin, Texas. I absolutely loved Austin when I visited and equally loved imagining myself back there while reading. Such a charming setting. I loved Nicola from page one because she embodies so much of all of us and she's hilarious. Sure, she wants nothing to do with love, but I want nothing but for her to fall in love! It's truly the best combination. I love rooting for my main characters. Finally, I have to thank Alyssa Goodnight for singlehandedly launching me out of my reading rut. I do not have a ton of time these days. And the time I do have is literally spent two inches away from James's face in an effort to get my serious little boy to SMILE. Picking up a book lately sends me straight into that eyes rolling, I-will-not-fall-asleep state, which is kind of the equivalent to torture. But not true for AUSTENTATIOUS. It was pure, much-needed fun with a huge helping of romance, which for my sleep-deprived, post-partum self was so, so appreciated. I absolutely recommend you pick it up. If AUSTENTATIOUS were a movie, Hugh Grant* would play Sean. Enough said.
*Hugh Grant circa Notting Hill and Love Actually
Check out what the other Bookanistas are up to this week:
Christine Fonseca is wild about WOLFSBANEStasia Ward Kehoe gives cover love to GETTING SOMEWHERENikki Katz takes a shine to UNDER THE NEVER SKYKaty Upperman is dazzled by A MILLION SUNSShannon Messenger welcomes four wonderful new BookanistasGennifer Albin joins the Bookanistas with a great giveawayTracy Banghart is wowed by ON FORTUNE'S WHEEL
