Lisa Roecker's Blog, page 15
December 1, 2011
The Bookanistas: How to Save a Life
Hmm...well, here's what I know about HOW TO SAVE A LIFE. It has about a bazillion starred reviews. Laura is currently reading (and loving it) and considering she nodded off in the middle of our conversation yesterday the fact that she can stay awake long enough to get through more than a paragraph is worth more than any fancy schmancy starred review.
The other thing I know about HOW TO SAVE A LIFE was that Laura was supposed to write a Bookanista review about the book today. But she's probably a sleep in a pile of diapers or something equally new-momish. So, um, INSERT LOTS OF GLOWING, WELL-WRITTEN OBSERVATIONS ABOUT HOW TO SAVE A LIFE HERE.
I can't wait to read this book as soon as my paint fumes contact buzz subsides. If you're looking for some real book reviews, be sure to check out what the rest of the Bookanistas are up to today.
Shannon Messenger raves about CINDER--with an ARC Giveaway!Megan Miranda spreads the love for UNTRACEABLECorrine Jackson falls for UNDER THE NEVER SKYStasia Ward Kehoe celebrates MY VERY UNFAIRY TALE LIFEDebra Driza sings the praises of EVERYBODY SEES THE ANTSKaty Upperman gets swept away by THE SCORPIO RACES
The other thing I know about HOW TO SAVE A LIFE was that Laura was supposed to write a Bookanista review about the book today. But she's probably a sleep in a pile of diapers or something equally new-momish. So, um, INSERT LOTS OF GLOWING, WELL-WRITTEN OBSERVATIONS ABOUT HOW TO SAVE A LIFE HERE.
I can't wait to read this book as soon as my paint fumes contact buzz subsides. If you're looking for some real book reviews, be sure to check out what the rest of the Bookanistas are up to today.
Shannon Messenger raves about CINDER--with an ARC Giveaway!Megan Miranda spreads the love for UNTRACEABLECorrine Jackson falls for UNDER THE NEVER SKYStasia Ward Kehoe celebrates MY VERY UNFAIRY TALE LIFEDebra Driza sings the praises of EVERYBODY SEES THE ANTSKaty Upperman gets swept away by THE SCORPIO RACES
November 30, 2011
Things I Learned While Painting My Kitchen
1. If you call Stacey more than once a day she starts screening your calls.
2. You really can get a contact buzz from paint fumes.
3. The aforementioned buzz is not a fun buzz but more of a mind bending, dizzying, groggy type situation that leads to you painting entire walls the wrong color.
4. Centrifugal force is not your friend when using a paint roller.*
5. The Regulator does not like hearing about me doing things half-assed. For example:
Me: Hi Mom.
The Regulator: You've called me like 5 times today.
Me: I know. Laura just had a baby and Stacey isn't picking up. You're the only one who never screens my calls.
The Regulator: Real nice, Lisa.
Me: I'm a terrible painter.
The Regulator: You're already painting? What room did you start with?
Me: The kitchen.
The Regulator: I thought you liked the red. (Translation: I've always hated that color, thank GOD you're finally doing something about it.)
Me: Yeah, it's just sort of dated.
The Regulator: I hope you're not cutting corners.
Me: I'm cutting every corner possible.
The Regulator: *Deep, tortured, sigh that roughly translates to this: Why God, WHY did I birth such a lazy, worthless daughter who can't even be bothered to properly slap up a coat of paint on her hopelessly out of date home?!?*
Me: Awesome. Talk to you later.
Tonight I'm painting the dining room. Pray for me.
*Per Josin L. McQuein: You have incited the wrath of my inner science geek. It's CENTRIPETAL force. "Centrifugal force" doesn't actually exist the way most people think.
Thanks Josin! I'd like to blame the paint fumes, but the truth is I just suck at science. Thank God we have smart blog readers.
2. You really can get a contact buzz from paint fumes.
3. The aforementioned buzz is not a fun buzz but more of a mind bending, dizzying, groggy type situation that leads to you painting entire walls the wrong color.
4. Centrifugal force is not your friend when using a paint roller.*
5. The Regulator does not like hearing about me doing things half-assed. For example:
Me: Hi Mom.
The Regulator: You've called me like 5 times today.
Me: I know. Laura just had a baby and Stacey isn't picking up. You're the only one who never screens my calls.
The Regulator: Real nice, Lisa.
Me: I'm a terrible painter.
The Regulator: You're already painting? What room did you start with?
Me: The kitchen.
The Regulator: I thought you liked the red. (Translation: I've always hated that color, thank GOD you're finally doing something about it.)
Me: Yeah, it's just sort of dated.
The Regulator: I hope you're not cutting corners.
Me: I'm cutting every corner possible.
The Regulator: *Deep, tortured, sigh that roughly translates to this: Why God, WHY did I birth such a lazy, worthless daughter who can't even be bothered to properly slap up a coat of paint on her hopelessly out of date home?!?*
Me: Awesome. Talk to you later.
Tonight I'm painting the dining room. Pray for me.
*Per Josin L. McQuein: You have incited the wrath of my inner science geek. It's CENTRIPETAL force. "Centrifugal force" doesn't actually exist the way most people think.
Thanks Josin! I'd like to blame the paint fumes, but the truth is I just suck at science. Thank God we have smart blog readers.
November 29, 2011
Tell The Truth Tuesday
1. I've done almost all of my Christmas shopping online. And by all, I mean buying toys for the kids. I'm officially the worst Christmas shopper EVER.
2. My laundry room has been de-hoarded. I'd post pictures, but I'm WAY too embarrassed by the "before."
3. I'm adding real estate agent to my resume. That's right. I'm going to sell this house my own damn self. This has disaster written all over it.
4. As much as I love James, I'm not pleased with how time consuming his day-to-day care has become for Laura. Stacey almost always screens my calls and The Regulator, while well versed in publishing gossip, can't really be relied on for fashion advice.
5. I was slightly bitter when Dan Humphrey created a faux fan account on Twitter and had over 1,000 followers in less than 24 hours on last night's Gossip Girl.* It took us a really long time to get that many followers. Stupid fictional Dan Humphrey just gliding his way through publishing. Bastard. What's next a blog for Serena? Oh that's right, they did that already and her blog is the toast of NYC. Naturally. Damn you, CW.
*It occurs to me that the fact that I still watch Gossip Girl is actually a truth unto itself. I seriously think I'm the only person over 13 who still watches this crap. Judge me if you must.
2. My laundry room has been de-hoarded. I'd post pictures, but I'm WAY too embarrassed by the "before."
3. I'm adding real estate agent to my resume. That's right. I'm going to sell this house my own damn self. This has disaster written all over it.
4. As much as I love James, I'm not pleased with how time consuming his day-to-day care has become for Laura. Stacey almost always screens my calls and The Regulator, while well versed in publishing gossip, can't really be relied on for fashion advice.
5. I was slightly bitter when Dan Humphrey created a faux fan account on Twitter and had over 1,000 followers in less than 24 hours on last night's Gossip Girl.* It took us a really long time to get that many followers. Stupid fictional Dan Humphrey just gliding his way through publishing. Bastard. What's next a blog for Serena? Oh that's right, they did that already and her blog is the toast of NYC. Naturally. Damn you, CW.
*It occurs to me that the fact that I still watch Gossip Girl is actually a truth unto itself. I seriously think I'm the only person over 13 who still watches this crap. Judge me if you must.
November 23, 2011
So. Thankful.
Thanksgiving came early for the Roeckers this year.
At 10:10 AM November 22nd to be exact.
James Michael weighed in at 6 pounds 13 oz and he's gorgeous. And Laura is high on percocet absolutely glowing. Best Thanksgiving EVER.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
At 10:10 AM November 22nd to be exact.
James Michael weighed in at 6 pounds 13 oz and he's gorgeous. And Laura is high on percocet absolutely glowing. Best Thanksgiving EVER.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
November 22, 2011
Tell The Truth Tuesday
1. I got bangs hoping to look like this:
Instead I look like this:
My hair officially clashes with my face. It also doesn't help that Laura told me I look "fancy." What does that even mean? Nothing good.
2. My neck/shoulder injury is feeling much better. But I think I'll probably still take a muscle relaxer tonight. You know, just in case.
3. We sent the first chunk of a totally new manuscript to our agent and we're terrified. Well, actually I'm terrified and Laura is in this really weird, about to have a baby zen stage.
4. I am beyond excited to meet my new nephew tomorrow! Stay tuned for pictures as Roecker watch 2011 continues.
5. I've refreshed my email 29 times while writing this blog post. Yeah. So much for relaxing over the holidays....
What's your truth this Tuesday? Spill it.
Instead I look like this:
My hair officially clashes with my face. It also doesn't help that Laura told me I look "fancy." What does that even mean? Nothing good.
2. My neck/shoulder injury is feeling much better. But I think I'll probably still take a muscle relaxer tonight. You know, just in case.
3. We sent the first chunk of a totally new manuscript to our agent and we're terrified. Well, actually I'm terrified and Laura is in this really weird, about to have a baby zen stage.
4. I am beyond excited to meet my new nephew tomorrow! Stay tuned for pictures as Roecker watch 2011 continues.
5. I've refreshed my email 29 times while writing this blog post. Yeah. So much for relaxing over the holidays....
What's your truth this Tuesday? Spill it.
November 18, 2011
It's Gonna Be a Piece of Cake
On Tuesday I thought it would be a good idea to do some kickboxing in spite of a sore neck.
I was wrong.
Oh so, terribly, horribly wrong.
On Wednesday morning I could barely move. I had to call my husband to come home from work because I couldn't lift poor little Ben out of the crib. I went to a chiropractor who caused more pain (and lots of cracking) and then finally this morning I went to the urgent care to score some drugs.
The doc prescribed a hefty dose of Motrin and a muscle relaxer. I'll admit that I started giggling a little when he asked me if I'd ever taken a muscle relaxer before because every John Hughes fan knows that THIS is what happens when you take muscle relaxers:
Sadly my reaction involved a lot less giggling and a lot more passing out on my couch for 3 hours while Ken fed and bathed the kiddos for me. Honestly, I think I like my version better.
Have a great weekend everyone!
I was wrong.
Oh so, terribly, horribly wrong.
On Wednesday morning I could barely move. I had to call my husband to come home from work because I couldn't lift poor little Ben out of the crib. I went to a chiropractor who caused more pain (and lots of cracking) and then finally this morning I went to the urgent care to score some drugs.
The doc prescribed a hefty dose of Motrin and a muscle relaxer. I'll admit that I started giggling a little when he asked me if I'd ever taken a muscle relaxer before because every John Hughes fan knows that THIS is what happens when you take muscle relaxers:
Sadly my reaction involved a lot less giggling and a lot more passing out on my couch for 3 hours while Ken fed and bathed the kiddos for me. Honestly, I think I like my version better.
Have a great weekend everyone!
November 16, 2011
The Bookanistas: My Maternity "Vacation" Reading List
First and foremost, we're 2 chapters away from maternity leave!!!! HOORAH! And THE GIRL OF FIRE AND THORNS is at the very top of my list. I'm not a huge fan of fantasy, but there's just something about this concept that calls to me. I love that there's an unexpected heroine and the setting sounds extraordinary.
What's on your reading list this holiday season? Anything good?
Be sure to check out what the other Bookanistas are up to this week!Elana Johnson gives a standing ovation for VIRTUOSITYShannon Messenger talks up THE PLEDGE - with a giveawayCory Jackson falls for UNDER THE NEVER SKYCarolina Valdez-Miller gives some love to HEREVeronica Roth screams for THE NEAR WITCHNikki Katz praises LOLA AND THE BOY NEXT DOORKaty Upperman reccommends THE PLEDGE
What's on your reading list this holiday season? Anything good?
Be sure to check out what the other Bookanistas are up to this week!Elana Johnson gives a standing ovation for VIRTUOSITYShannon Messenger talks up THE PLEDGE - with a giveawayCory Jackson falls for UNDER THE NEVER SKYCarolina Valdez-Miller gives some love to HEREVeronica Roth screams for THE NEAR WITCHNikki Katz praises LOLA AND THE BOY NEXT DOORKaty Upperman reccommends THE PLEDGE
Another $%*&^$@ Idea
So remember my master plan about doing absolutely nothing while Laura is doing new Mama duty for the next few months?
It sounded totally blissful, right? I was going to read books, watch amazing movies and do some serious house renovations in preparation for putting this bad boy up on the market. It was going to be ah-mazing.
And then I had this dream.
About a manuscript that we shelved two years ago.
A manuscript I might have finally figured out how to fix.
Hold me.
It sounded totally blissful, right? I was going to read books, watch amazing movies and do some serious house renovations in preparation for putting this bad boy up on the market. It was going to be ah-mazing.
And then I had this dream.
About a manuscript that we shelved two years ago.
A manuscript I might have finally figured out how to fix.
Hold me.
November 15, 2011
Tell The Truth Tuesday
1. I don't care what all the haters say, The Hunger Games trailer rocked my socks off. This movie is going to be EPIC. So epic that I have big plans to talk The Regulator, Dad Roecker and Laura into a midnight screening event of some sort. If you're wondering why the 3rd Roecker sister isn't invited it's because she has a strict rule against movies with battle scenes.
2. I saw this link on Twitter about cats giving you incentive to write. I'm not gonna lie. I sat at in front of my computer and wrote "What the $%&* is this?" 20 times to see what would happen. Suffice it to say that I was extraordinarily unimpressed with the outcome.
3. I watch Pan Am. And oh my good God you guys, it is 31 flavors of AWFUL. By far the most ludicrious show on television and yet it makes the perfect background for day job writing. And so on my DVR it shall remain.
4. I'm a floor-o-rexic. That's right. I use clean kitchen floors as a means to maintain control of my life. Laura just diagnosed me with this terrible disease last night when I confessed to her that I've been washing my kitchen floor on my hands and knees almost every single night. Bear in mind, the room directly next to my kitchen looks like a hoarders paradise of clean, yet unfolded clothes, backpacks and approximately 300 pairs of shoes. I have no idea why the kitchen floor is so important to me, but there is nothing that makes my blood boil like watching Mia bite into a graham cracker. I get chills just thinking about it.
5. I have yet to purchase a single Christmas present. I'm in holidenial. (See what I did right there? I'm the queen of word mash-ups this week.)
6. While Laura is on her maternity leave I plan on doing nothing but reading for 6 weeks straight. It is going to be AWESOME. So many books. So much slacking. I can't hardly wait.
OK, spill your guts. What's your truth this Tuesday?
2. I saw this link on Twitter about cats giving you incentive to write. I'm not gonna lie. I sat at in front of my computer and wrote "What the $%&* is this?" 20 times to see what would happen. Suffice it to say that I was extraordinarily unimpressed with the outcome.
3. I watch Pan Am. And oh my good God you guys, it is 31 flavors of AWFUL. By far the most ludicrious show on television and yet it makes the perfect background for day job writing. And so on my DVR it shall remain.
4. I'm a floor-o-rexic. That's right. I use clean kitchen floors as a means to maintain control of my life. Laura just diagnosed me with this terrible disease last night when I confessed to her that I've been washing my kitchen floor on my hands and knees almost every single night. Bear in mind, the room directly next to my kitchen looks like a hoarders paradise of clean, yet unfolded clothes, backpacks and approximately 300 pairs of shoes. I have no idea why the kitchen floor is so important to me, but there is nothing that makes my blood boil like watching Mia bite into a graham cracker. I get chills just thinking about it.
5. I have yet to purchase a single Christmas present. I'm in holidenial. (See what I did right there? I'm the queen of word mash-ups this week.)
6. While Laura is on her maternity leave I plan on doing nothing but reading for 6 weeks straight. It is going to be AWESOME. So many books. So much slacking. I can't hardly wait.
OK, spill your guts. What's your truth this Tuesday?
November 14, 2011
The Unborn Deadline
Laura is due to pop. Literally POP. Any day now. And I'm completely terrified.
Sure, you might say that since I'm not the one actually delivering a child, I should be sitting back, sipping Diet Coke through a Twizzler straw and dreaming of holding my new nephew. But instead I'm sitting in front of my computer with burning eyes and a pit in my stomach.
We have 9 days.
9 days left to finish the first 10 chapters of a manuscript that absolutely has to be finished before Laura has the baby.
9 days left to sit on the phone for 3 hours discussing the rise and fall of our Amazon rank.
9 days left to engage in endless Skype conversations speculating on what the cover for The Lies That Bind might look like.
9 days left to send Laura links to my Pinterest boards to get real time feedback on paint colors for my massive house staging project.
So...yeah. 9 days before our lives change forever and a new little Roecker enters the world.
I can't wait.
Sure, you might say that since I'm not the one actually delivering a child, I should be sitting back, sipping Diet Coke through a Twizzler straw and dreaming of holding my new nephew. But instead I'm sitting in front of my computer with burning eyes and a pit in my stomach.
We have 9 days.
9 days left to finish the first 10 chapters of a manuscript that absolutely has to be finished before Laura has the baby.
9 days left to sit on the phone for 3 hours discussing the rise and fall of our Amazon rank.
9 days left to engage in endless Skype conversations speculating on what the cover for The Lies That Bind might look like.
9 days left to send Laura links to my Pinterest boards to get real time feedback on paint colors for my massive house staging project.
So...yeah. 9 days before our lives change forever and a new little Roecker enters the world.
I can't wait.
