Jon Acuff's Blog, page 122

Stillness isn't sexy.

This summer I got empty.

I wasn't tired.

I wasn't drained.

I didn't melt down or burn out.

I got empty.

And it was awesome.

Since Stuff Christians Like started in March of 2008, things have been busy. I wrote a million words on four different blogs. I published three books. I contributed to half a dozen other books. I gave 100 different speeches across the country.

In order to do that, I had to turn my head into an idea factory. I had to train myself to see content all day. I had to learn to ask, "Is that a post right there? Is that conversation something for a book? Is that experience something for a speech?" Over and over again, I hustled and sprinted and crafted word after word, idea after idea.

And I loved it. Figuring out how to keep a blog fresh and creative is a fun challenge. Starting a new blog is fun. Writing books is fun. And with each word I wrote, I learned how to figure out new challenges. How do you write a Christian satire book and then jump shelves to the business career section? How do you write a 2 minute speech that has to be funny, insightful and complete? How do you be funny on command without being fake?

I'd throw my head at each new challenge that came along and most of them I could figure out. Some I failed, some went well, but every one had one thing in common: I would eventually figure it out.

But this summer, I decided to take a break when I went on vacation. In the past, I'd lie to myself. I'd say, "I'm an idea guy! Coming up with new ideas is how I like to relax!" Then I'd sit on a chair on the beach and scribble down new blog ideas. Or I'd read a book about self-improvement or branding or hustle. Then I'd come home from vacation and express shock that I did not return refreshed.

This year, instead of doing that, I just got empty. I stopped writing down ideas. I stopped trying to "get ahead" by deleting emails in my inbox on vacation. I didn't do anything but play with the kids on the beach and hang out with my wife. I got empty. And into that emptiness I felt like God had some space to whisper again.

Maybe I'm the only one who has a loud life, but I have my doubts. Chances are you're digesting more content than you ever have before right now. You've got books and blogs and Twitter and Facebook and a thousand other sources of information in your head. You've got family commitments and work commitments and meetings and reminders and tasks and activities and soccer for your kids and church commitments and … it's exhausting.

We spend an extra month at work more than people in past generations did. Let me repeat that.

You and I found a way to work an additional month every year. I put that stat from a Harvard economist in my book Quitter because it's terrifying.

We are busy and loud and, if we could just figure our lives out, things would be better.

That was what I thought as I sat on the beach this summer, but something was bothering me. Something wouldn't leave me alone, day after day.

I couldn't figure out the ocean.

Every day, the beach was different. The tide came up to a different place each day. High tide and low tide were never identical from one day to the next. The waves were never the same each day. The tidal pools shifted and moved each day. I tried as hard as I could to predict where to put our chairs, based on figuring out the day before, but each new day was different.

I couldn't figure out the ocean.

Standing there on the shore one afternoon, it hit me. I didn't see handwriting in the sand or God's words in the clouds, but it felt like he reminded me of something simple. I felt like he poked into my heart and said,

"You think the ocean is difficult to figure out? You think the ocean is complex? I put my breath in man. Quit trying to figure yourself out. Quit trying to figure out how life works. Just be with me."

In other words, "Be still and know that I am God."

I like action. I like motion. I like productivity and effectiveness. Stillness is not sexy to me. It is not something that comes easy to me. Emptiness is something I fight, not invite.

And yet, there it was and there it is. An invitation to be still and quiet and present to the big things that a big God is unfolding in his way at his time at his pace.

I love to write. I love to speak. I love the meager bit of talent God's given me to share with folks. But I'm learning that when I refuse to be quiet or empty, I miss so many important things. And that, ultimately, "be still" wasn't a casual suggestion. It was a command. And it's one I want to obey.

Question:

Is it ever hard for you to be still?

The guy who reads your sermon notes.

The best pen in the world is the Uniball micro vision. That's not a statement of opinion; that's a fact. And suggestions contrary to that statement will not be entertained. If you disagree, I'm sorry. You've been using an inferior pen for most of your life and are confused.

I use the Uniball micro vision for everything, including my sermon notes at church. Cause it's the best and I take the best notes. But recently I noticed something disturbing happening.

The guy next to me kept reading my notes.

I don't mean my fill in the blanks. I can accept that and should probably write a post about the best way to sneak a peek at someone's answer if you missed one.

I can accept that, but this guy was reading the personal notes I was taking down. The first time it happened, I thought, Oh, OK. Probably just checking out my penmanship. I can respect that. I took a calligraphy class in middle school because I'm pretty sure that's what all the cool kids were doing.

The second time it he did it, I thought, Maybe he wants to borrow my pen. That's clearly not happening.

The third time I thought, This is getting annoying. What if I want to write something private and personal about how the sermon is hitting me? I think this guy just became a post on Stuff Christians Like.

Which brings us to today.

Maybe this situation has never happened to you. Your penmanship might not flow like a cold mountain stream like mine does, attracting the watchful eyes of pew neighbors like bears to a salmon run. I'm not sure, but it might happen to you one day. And if it does, I want you to be ready. Here are 3 things to do if you catch someone reading your sermon notes:

1. Angle your paper.

This is the easiest move and should be employed first. Cross your leg at a weird angle and then move your paper away from your neighbor. Now if they want to look, they'll have to lean over and really work to see what you're writing down. Awkward for both of you? Definitely. Necessary? Sometimes.

2. Write crazy/small.

Jud Apatow, the director of movies like Superbad, once said that he started writing really small and really crazy because people on airplanes kept reading his notes. He didn't like the idea that strangers might see his ideas, so he taught himself how to write in an indecipherable script. Time consuming? A little. Worth it? Definitely.

3. Tolkien your notes.

The Lord of the Rings author Tolkien took the Apatow approach to new levels. He actually created his own language. It was called Elvin or Elfin or Elvish or someone will heatedly correct me in the comments section of this post. (Bonus points if the correction is in written in Elvin.) Maybe you can create your own sermon notes language. Will it take you a few years? Probably. Worth your privacy? You tell me.

Hopefully those three tricks will do the trick. But if not, there is one last ditch, desperate move you can do. If you've tried all three of the tricks above–if the person ignored your angle idea, has such great eyesight they can read your tiny script, and somehow knows how to read the secret language you created–guess what it's time for?

A prayer request.

In your notes, in large, legible font, write the following:

GOD, PLEASE JUST HELP THE PERSON NEXT TO ME JUST RESPECT MY PRIVACY AND STOP READING MY SERMON NOTES CONSTANTLY. YOU ARE A BIG GOD AND WILL SURELY HANDLE THIS SITUATION IN THE BEST POSSIBLE WAY, BUT PLEASE DON'T AUTOMATICALLY ASSUME A STRATEGICALLY PLACED LIGHTNING BOLT WON'T DO THE TRICK. IT MIGHT. IT REALLY MIGHT. AMEN.

Extreme? A little. Effective? Without a doubt.

Question:

Do you take notes during sermons?

[image error]

SCLQ – Halloween

Did you know that Christmas trees have a pagan background? I'm almost positive that's true or that I read it online, which makes it at least kind of true. Or maybe someone told me that once when we were talking about Halloween.

I'm a little fuzzy on that detail, and sometimes I get exhausted typing things into Google when they don't auto finish the words for me. But what I am clear on is the idea that the Acuff girls are going to attempt to collect their body weight in free candy come Monday night. To practice, we've been doing wind sprints in our backyard and running up and down stairs carrying sacks of granola bars.  (Even though I think I'm supposed to hate Halloween.)

What about you?

What are your plans for Halloween?

Trunk or treat at church? Neighborhood party? Dressing up as Carrie from Sex & the City (The TBS edited version of course)? Going as a character from True Blood? (That was a test. You shouldn't even know that exists.)

What are you doing for Halloween?

[image error]

Church Websites.

Last April, I wrote a post called "Pre-judging a church based on the quality of its website."

It was a confession of sorts but also a list of things I thought churches could do to make their websites instantly awesomer. (Spelling aside, not my strong suit.) I suggested things like:

1. Don't make finding your location like navigating a labyrinth. (It kills me when your actual address is hidden under 19 levels of flash graphics and searching for it is like solving a rubik's cube.)

2. Don't use that font that makes it look like the letters are on fire. (I don't know what that font is called, probably "Brimstone." It's not good.)

Months later, a would be sponsor of SCL called SiteOrganic approached me about helping churches radically simplify and improve the way they do their websites.

The question I always ask in situations like this is, "Would this service help my dad's church?"

I don't like recommending things I wouldn't use. But, since I'm not a church, my criteria for things like SiteOrganic is to think about whether my dad's church would benefit. As I've mentioned before, I grew up watching him try to make miracles out of a ridiculously small church budget. And in the last few years, I've really tried to encourage him about what it means to share the gospel online in his community of North Carolina. So I talked with SiteOrganic and here's what I liked:

1. They are passionate about helping churches maximize online ministry budgets.

2. They actually have real, live staff members who are available to talk you through any web questions you have.

3. They make it incredibly easy for your staff to take care of daily/weekly updates.

4. They're not just doing "billboard websites" that are pretty one or two-page experiences. They're doing advanced features like sermon library management, podcasting, online giving, event registration and a million other things.

5. They're geniuses at creating mobile-friendly sites and analytics and integrating with social sites and all the stuff that really matters right now in the online conversation.

So here's my pitch: If you work at a church, check out SiteOrganic. I'd recommend them to my dad and his church and feel great about recommending them to you.

And if you don't work at a church, I have one question I'd love for us to talk about today:

Question:

What's one feature you'd love to see on your church's website?

Halloween Costumes

(It's guest post Friday! Here is a special Halloween edition from SCL favorite Some Guy. If you would like to guest post, here's how.)

Halloween Costumes by Some Guy

I've been wondering why we wear costumes on Halloween.  I checked on the World Wide Web, (Have you been on that thing? It's got everything, weather, sports, stock quotes. I mean everything.) And the Internet gave me a couple of different reasons.

Here's why we apparently wear costumes:

1. To prevent ghost home invasions.

The first reason was that, in times long past, people were afraid that ghosts would occupy their houses if the ghosts saw them out and about. People would wear masks so the ghosts wouldn't recognize them.

That explanation doesn't work these days because a lot of people don't wear masks.  The costumes aren't confusing anyone.

And, if that were the case, people would be wearing masks of their enemies, like the guy on the next block who never cleans up after his dog. That way, the ghost will see you out and about and think it's him. Your house stays clean, and he inherits a problem.  But that's not very Christianly, and it requires you to somehow casually get a plaster cast of the face of the neighbor you don't get along with, which is a huge hassle. So I don't think this is a good reason for us to wear costumes anymore.

2. To punk evil spirits.

Are we still using "to punk" as a phrase? That show has been off the air for years. Is it so old that it's retro now? So many questions. But the second reason people started wearing costumes is that they were trying to scare away evil spirits. I'm not really buying that, because the scary masks and costumes look like what I picture an evil spirit to look like. You're not scaring them away if you look like them–they might try to befriend you. Or at the bare minimum follow you on Twitter.

If you want to scare away evil spirits, then why not go dressed as something that actually will scare them?

A. Bible (that'll scare the heaven into them)

B. An angel (gotta be the intimidating type with the flaming sword, not the ceramic figurine type that looks a little like Cupid)

I don't know that I would recommend going as Jesus.

"Trick or treat!"

"Oh, and who are you supposed to be?"

"I'm Jesus!"

Good witnessing opportunity?  Check.

Tough to pull off without being blasphemous?  Check.

Do this one at your own risk.

3. So people can't tell who you are.

Yet another reason for going in disguise is so that your neighbors won't know who you are.  That's only needed if the homeowner doesn't treat, leaving you no choice but to pull a trick on him.  Harmless trick, of course. And Jon's even told us the levels of apology we might need to do depending on the size of the prank.

None of those three reasons makes sense anymore though. Stupid Information Superhighway. So I asked a kid, someone more in tune with the pulse of the elementary schools and got the real answer.

Why do we wear costumes on Halloween?

To get candy. (Really should have seen that one coming.)

Question:

What was your favorite Halloween costume as a kid?

SCLQ – Stuff Christians Like, the play.

Didn't buy the Stuff Christians Like book? Feel like books are so 2000 and late? Waiting instead for someone to take the book and reinvent it as a one-person, performance art-type play? Well, your wait is over my friend.

Someone sent me this video a few months ago, and I was blown away. This high school student named Chandler reenacts scenes from the book with intensity, passion and hilarity. Check it out and see SCL through a whole new lens.

 

Great sex! Flat abs! And Jesus!

If Men's Health magazine was true, you would never need to buy more than one issue. If the articles that promised flat abs and less stress and better sex really worked as promised, you'd never need to have a subscription because every issue is the exact same thing. This was the thought I had while standing at the magazine rack at Wal-Mart watching my daughters read My Little Pony books. (Long live Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie by the way. Toola-Roola is a punk. I don't even know what Toola-Roola is into, at least Rainbow Dash is all about rainbows.)

As I stood there, though, I noticed something else kind of weird. The promises that the front cover of men's magazines make were eerily similar to the promises that the back cover of Christian books make. So I thought it might be fun to play a little guessing game and see if you can figure out which is which:

1. "Build your perfect life and strip away stress for good"

A. Front Cover of Men's Magazine

B. Back Cover of Christian Book

2. "The Secret to Effortless Success"

A. Front Cover of Men's Magazine

B. Back Cover of Christian Book

3. "Total Health Starts Here"

A. Front Cover of Men's Magazine

B. Back Cover of Christian Book

4. "967 Secrets of Happiness"

A. Front Cover of Men's Magazine

B. Back Cover of Christian Book

5. "Supercharge Your Brain"

A. Front Cover of Men's Magazine

B. Back Cover of Christian Book

6. "Keep Yourself Happy"

A. Front Cover of Men's Magazine

B. Back Cover of Christian Book

7. "Gain control over your mind"

A. Front Cover of Men's Magazine

B. Back Cover of Christian Book

8. "Uncover the proven process that will lead to a life of success and total fulfillment"

A. Front Cover of Men's Magazine

B. Back Cover of Christian Book

9. "The Anatomy of a Successful Life"

A. Front Cover of Men's Magazine

B. Back Cover of Christian Book

10. "Stress Proof Your Brain"

A. Front Cover of Men's Magazine

B. Back Cover of Christian Book

11. "Living Life without Limits"

A. Front Cover of Men's Magazine

B. Back Cover of Christian Book

12. "10 keys to fulfilling your destiny"

A. Front Cover of Men's Magazine

B. Back Cover of Christian Book

13. "10 Essential Success Secrets"

A. Front Cover of Men's Magazine

B. Back Cover of Christian Book

14. "Hold on to your hair – 5 new cures"

A. Front Cover of Men's Magazine

B. Back Cover of Christian Book

OK, that last one was easy, but it reminded me of that Richard Marx song, "Hold on to the Night," and I promised myself I'd make at as many Richard Marx references as possible, sooooo one down. (Click here for the answers to the quiz.)

I didn't use the titles of the books because I'm not trying to denigrate those authors. I haven't read what's inside the books and, ultimately, those are often just marketing sentences written by someone other than the author. But standing there that day in the midst of My Little Pony land, seeing how similar the two types of headlines were, I wasn't convicted about the books. I was convicted about my own motivations.

Am I that different from the world?

I've got God, the very power of Christ inside of me, so why are my own desires so interchangeable with what the world says are the most important things in life?

Do I ever go to God with a laundry list of better demands? Give me a better marriage, a better ministry, a better life, a better job, a better everything?

Do I chase the blessings of God sometimes more than the presence of God?

Do I ever treat God like a really good self-help guru who is there to meet my needs?

Do I look weird scribbling this all down in a small moleskine notebook by the magazine rack in Wal-Mart?

Yes, yes I do. But I don't want God to simply be a vehicle for the things I want. I want God to be who I want.

I want Him to be enough.

 

(This post originally appeared on SCL on January 7, 2009)

Adding an S to the book of Revelation.

It is with much shame that I confess that I am down with the S.

I didn't know I was. Three years into writing a blog about faith and Christianity, you would think I knew better. I mean I wrote a book with Zondervan, the people who publish the Bible, and I still didn't know.

For the life of me, I thought it was "The Book of Revelations."

A few weeks ago, when I used the word "Revelations" in a post, someone called me out on it in the comments. They said "referring to the last book of the bible as 'Revelations' is nails on a chalkboard to me."

I scoffed in my head. Oh you misinformed grammarian you! Of course there's an S! What do you think: there's only one Revelation in the whole book? That it's a single Revelation? Poppycock! Or dare I say fiddlesticks, your logic is so cattywampus.

Then I googled it. Then I actually looked it up in the Bible and what?? Are you serious? When did we get rid of the S? Is that a new thing? Did we all vote on that? Better check the K to the J to the V for the real deal. Or what's my man Douay Rheims have to say about the whole thing. EuPete help me out on this one, what does The Message have?

No S.

Good to know.

So how did I respond to the person who called me out? I didn't at first. I just deleted the S all sneaky like and then went about my day. But when I checked the site later, someone had defended me and said "I think Jon was making a joke." (I wish I was that smart.) And then someone else said "Not sure where it is referred to as Revelations in the story" since I had deleted the reference. Then I sent out a tweet that had said "Revelations" and someone responded, "Revelation is singular. Pretty basic and fraught w/theological implications, so I hope that was a typo."

So, to recap, some folks thought I was smart enough to do it as a joke and others thought that I had never done it in the first place. And then when I kept the S in my tweet to see if people would get up in arms, some in fact did. All in all, a pretty good day.

I'm coming clean. I always "s-ify" Revelation. But now, much like those lovable kids at the end of the GI Joe cartoon public service announcements, I know better. And knowing is half the battle.

Questions:

Have you ever added an S to Revelation? Is there another Bible grammar pet peeve that drives you crazy?

People who pray with British accents.

Dear people who pray out loud with British accents,

Thank you.

I know that your prayers don't travel on a more direct route to God than mine. I am well aware that there is not an "express prayer lane," that gets prayers to heaven faster. But every time I'm in a prayer group and someone prays something with the "Queen's English," I'm pretty sure that prayer gets heard by God first.

Why do I think that way?

Maybe it's because, whenever I hear a British accent, I just naturally assume that person is smarter than me. When someone says, "I took the lift to the top floor because the queue for the loo was so long," I automatically think, "Probably a professor at Oxford. Teaches a class on British Colonial Times if I had to guess. Bet they have a butler named Jeeves and they hunt fox. On horses. Probably have tea every afternoon and use words that I don't even know about to talk about topics that would make my head hurt. And they subscribe to The Economist. Just the headlines on the cover make me confused. I had to Google how to spell the word "queue." People with British accents are smarter than me!

Is that why I'm such a huge fan of people who pray with British accents?

Maybe it's a C.S. Lewis thing? Isn't he Welsh? Is Wales part of Great Britain? It's all Great Britain, right? England is England and Ireland is Ireland and Scotland is Braveheart. Right? I'm not positive. I would know this if I was smarter. And had a British accent.

When I hear someone pray with a British accent, they sound like it's coming out of their mouth in cursive. Long flowing, tangled up letters elegantly dancing through the air. Not the awkward, "just"-laden prayers I pray. "Lord just hear us, just show us your way, just, just, just." British prayers unfold like the elfin language J.R.R. Tolkien invented. That's how smart British people are. They get bored with the English language and create new ones. Wish I could pray with a British accent!

That's how I felt when I heard author Sheila Walsh pray. Her prayer came out in King James Version. Not New either, I'm talking Old School King James. She's Scottish and has a direct line to Jesus. I'm pretty sure that's true.

If I'm in a "prayer circle" and someone with a British accent prays, I never pray after them. I consider the circle closed at that point. It's like the prayer equivalent of Eminem throwing down the mic in the 8 Mile. Boom! It's over. I just get up and walk away. You can't follow that!

Am I weird? Am I the only one who's ever felt like someone who prays with a British accent just took the prayer to a whole new level?

Anyone?

SCLQ – 10 things I look at when I buy a new book.

I love books.

When I was a kid, I used to bring books to read at sleepovers.

I can recognize the sound a UPS truck makes from a mile away because they've delivered so many Amazon packages to my house.

When I travel, my backpack weighs 97 pounds because I stuff it so full of books.

But I have a problem.

So many books are available these days that it's hard to pick one to read. And maybe you've had that problem before too. You go to Barnes & Noble and there's just this ocean of options. So how do you choose which book to read? Here are the 10 things I look for when I buy a new nonfiction book:

1. The title

It's next to impossible to cram an entire book into a title. Did they do a good job with this book, or does the title sound like a photocopy of every other book on the market right now? (Example of one I love:  Start with Why.)

2. The Subtitle

What's the promise of the book? What are they saying in the subtitle? Does it overpromise, "The story of how one cat saved an entire town and taught the world how to love again?" Is it as strong as the title?

3. Back cover description

Does it sound interesting? Does it say something that couldn't be said on the back of another book because it's so original? Is it emotionally manipulative? "This book will change your life in 4 seconds!"

4. Endorsements

What are other people I like saying about this book? Who else was willing to put their name on it? Does that endorser endorse every single book they put in front of him/her? Or do they rarely emerge from their own writing cave and endorse a book, which makes this endorsement a big deal?

5. The feel of the book

This is completely dumb, but how does the book feel in my hand? What type of paper did they use? Is it heavy? Does it feel right? (Insert mockery from Kindle owners right here.)

6. The length

Did the book need to be this long? Or, is the first chapter the whole idea and the rest of the book is just supporting material? Could it have been a magazine article instead of a book? Do I feel like they played with the font size to stretch out the page count?

7. The cover

Is the cover original? Or is it simply a stock photo like a million other stock photos of people looking wistful and hopeful, as if perhaps the contents of this book I am holding just changed their lives and would change mine as well despite my penchant for run on sentences? (Example of a good cover: Rework.)

8. Recommendation

Did a friend recommend the book to me? Was their recommendation positive but not so positive that they've put a tremendous amount of pressure on me to have a life-changing experience via this book. And if I don't, we'll have to have an awkward conversation?

9. Author's life

Has the author accomplished something? It's hard for me to buy a business/leadership/creative/marketing/Christian nonfiction book about a big idea if the only thing the author has accomplished is writing the book about the big idea. Have they lived the big idea? Are they pulling from real-life, true experiences or just theories? When Seth Godin writes about Tribes, for instance, you believe him because he's built a huge Tribe. When Francis Chan writes about Crazy Love, you believe him because that's how he's living.

10. Sample

Can I sample the book first? Can I read the first chapter or the author's blog to get a sense of what the book is really about? Is there a trailer I could watch to understand the heart of the book? (This is a big part of why we give away the first chapter of Quitter for free.)

Those are the 10 things I think about when buying a new non-fiction book.

How about you?

What do you look for in a new book?

[image error]