Jon Acuff's Blog, page 110

Giving your kid an obscure Bible name.

I can't write this post from the first person because I don't have an obscure Bible name.

Mine is well known.

Jonathan.

Look it up. He was like Liam Neeson in Taken. Quiet, reserved, he didn't have the spotlight like David, but what he did have was a very particular set of skills. They were skills he acquired over a very long career. You know he throat chopped some Philistines.

And I can't write this post as a parent. Our kids are named L.E. (Which stands for Laura – my mother-in-law and Elizabeth my mom) and McRae. Neither one of those names are in the Bible.

So to properly write this post, I'm turning over the mic to someone who can actually share their perspective. Her name is, well, you'll see:

I know by experience that Christians like to name their children after Bible characters. Great. Good for them; names like David, Ruth, and Timothy are nice and normal names. Furthermore, the characters are fairly well known (among Christians at least).

However, when the parents of a child get together and decide to pick one of the most obscure and hard to pronounce names of the Bible, I would argue that it borders on cruelty. In my case, my parents looked at 2 Kings 15:33 and 2 Chronicles 27:1, where there is mention of a queen named Jerusha, and thought "what a unique name."

Queen Jerusha wasn't all that extraordinary, and they only mention her because she was the mother of a good king. Yet whenever anyone asks me about my name I have to tell them it's a Bible name. Usually they get this quizzical look on their face like they think I made it up.

I guess in all fairness to Jerusha's parents it could have been worse. They could have named her "Queen Jerusha." You couldn't even shorten it like "TJ" or "PJ." No one wants to be called "QJ." That'd be tough to live down.

What's the most obscure biblical name you've ever known someone to have?

Can you top Jerusha?

 

Raising money.

As I've mentioned before, I love Instagram.

It's a simple iPhone app that makes your photo of a burrito look like Ansel Adams took it.

If a lot of people "like" your photo, it gets put on the "popular page." If you end up on the popular page, a lot of people see your photo, you get a ton of followers and gain a sliver of Internet fame.

So, people have started "gaming" the popular photo process. In order to get folks to tap on their photo, which is how you register a like, users have stopped taking photos. Instead, they'll post simple messages on colored backgrounds that say things like:

"Tap if you wish cancer didn't exist."

"Tap if you are against bullying."

Those are ridiculous of course, because who is going to say, "Nah, I'm actually pro cancer. I'm not going to like your photo." Or "Here's the thing, I am a huge supporter of bullying. In the streets, in the schools, in mall food courts by Cinnabon. I can't tap your photo." This approach to Instagram is a cheesy way to manipulate people into getting your photo to the popular page.

But, we Christians sometimes unknowingly use these same kind of tactics when it comes to raising money for mission trips. I say "unknowingly" because there's nothing noble that results from you manipulating someone into helping you get to the popular page.

When you're raising money for a mission trip, however, the project is noble, and I don't think people are trying to manipulate potential donors. Sometimes though, despite our best intentions, we end up writing some crazy things. Here is a direct message someone I've never met sent me a few weeks ago:

"Hey Jon, would you consider being a part of the Great Commission and helping send me to Brazil this summer?"

On that face of it, that's not a big deal. But let's talk for a second about the two possible responses that question gives me.

1. Yes, I want to be part of the Great Commission. Here's some money.

2. No, I don't want to be part of the Great Commission. I hate the Great Commission. In fact, I actually call it the "Good Commission," just so it knows how I feel. And don't get me started on Brazil. Why you gotta hog the whole Amazon rainforest Brazil and be so amazing at futbol? I call Brazil, "South Portugal" just to make them mad!

And I'm not opposed to raising money online. We've raised a lot on SCL over the years and will hopefully continue to do that as a community. I think folks like Shaun King are doing amazing work with online fundraisers. But when you do raise money, especially online, be smart about what you say and how you say it. There's a huge difference between:

"I love orphans and feel called to meet their needs. Would you help me?"

and

"Do you want to be part of orphans not living on the street? If yes, give me money. If no, why do you hate orphans so much? How does that feel? Orphan hatin'? I bet you've got something against giving orphans goats too. You probably hate goats, cute little baby goats."

And above all, when sending a mission trip fundraising letter, tweet or email, make sure you include the line that no pitch is complete without,

"If you can't support me financially, I would really appreciate your prayers."

Question:

Have you ever given money online to a cause?

Ring by Spring or Your Money Back

(It's guest post Friday! Here's one from Brittany Johnson. You can follow her on Twitter and read her blog. If you want to write a guest post for SCL, here's how!)

Ring by Spring or Your Money Back – by Brittany Johnson

If you went to a Christian college, you may be familiar with this term: "Ring by spring or your money back." From my Christian undergraduate experience, I am very familiar with the expectation of "ring by spring," which is introduced early on in the Christian undergraduate experience. For me, it was during the first week of orientation when the guy on the microphone leading the icebreakers announced, "Look at the person standing next to you. You never know, but they may become your future spouse!"

Of course, as nervous freshmen we laughed it off, but deep down we all knew the clock was now ticking to find "the one." The phrase "ring by spring or your money back" is of course biblical in that our great commission is to find our hot godly spouse in the context of Christian higher education in order to then help populate the earth. There are many ways this can be accomplished in the four years that you have while attending a Christian university, and I have taken the time to define some terms and steps that are often used in the process:

Dating Sabbatical:

If you find a potential significant other and they tell you, in September, that they are on a dating sabbatical, this may be a way to test your commitment. It essentially tests the other's willingness to wait for them while they embark on a spiritual journey which called them to put dating on hold until January 1st. (This type of relationship is for the spiritually strong, and it is recommended to fast and pray before to make sure that you can indeed be patient until January 1st rolls around.)

Chapel Dates:

Going to chapel together as a first date is a great way to gauge the spiritual maturity of your potential partner. Look for things like: Does he go so often that he has a regular seat? Does he close his eyes when he worships? Did he bring a Bible AND a prayer journal? And does he take you to coffee after chapel to then discuss what you both learned after the message and how you can live it out? On that last one, chances are you called your mom after and asked her to start praying that Jake is really "the one."

Caf Dates:

This is an inexpensive way to use your campus dining meal plan to go to the cafeteria and break bread together. It is an economical way to help see your potential spouse in a social context as well as get feedback from your friends after to see if they think he is "the one."

Play Guitar:

If you are a male attending a Christian university, then it was also part of the admission process that you know how to play acoustic guitar. Use this skill to your advantage and play worship songs on the lawn in front of Trinity Hall. You will have no problem attracting a potential spouse.

DTR (Defining The Relationship):

There comes a time when you have to have that conversation that changes everything and defines the relationship. Typically it goes something like this, "So Brittany, we've been going on several Chapel and Caf dates now, and I think it's time to take our friendship to the next level by becoming an official couple." Once the agreement has been made and details discussed, it is then acceptable to go online and also make it "Facebook Official" or FBO. (A caution to all: the DTR term can also be confused with "Del Taco Run," so you may want to really clarify which DTR it is before you proceed with any commitment conversations as to avoid a potentially awkward situation.)

MRS Degree:

If you are graduating in the spring of your senior year, and he placed a rock on your finger and thus made a commitment to marriage, congratulations! You are able to grab that diploma and know that not only did you get that Bachelor of Arts degree, but you've received your MRS Degree as well. (Tip: If this did not happen in your collegiate career timeline, you can always defer your graduation and go for a double major; there are always new transfer or graduate students as well.)

(And in case you are wondering, I did not get my MRS degree, and I ended up continuing my education, not to try round two of "ring by spring" but instead graduate with a Ms. in front of my name and an M.S. at the back of my name. Booyah!)

Question:

Have you ever felt the pressure to find your spouse in college?

(For more great stuff from Brittany, check out her blog!)

Digital fasts.

In case you hadn't heard, Lent started last week. And do you know what's the number 1 thing people will be giving up, based on a short survey I made up in my head? The Internet.

Mark my words: The only thing Christians like more than the Internet is taking a break from it. A digital fast if you will, where you swear off the Internet or a particular flavor of social media for a prolonged period of time.

Since you missed the start of Lent, maybe instead you can do a good old-fashioned digital fast. (By "old" I mean circa 2007, which in Internet time is approximately 87 years ago.) But how do you do it? What are the rules? How do you take a really good, really helpful digital fast? The Bible is very thin on the best way to wean yourself off a Twitter addiction. Not once does Peter say, "Follow me on Twitter, I'm @Rock." Or better yet for all you old school rap fans out there, "@PeteRock."

So today, in case you're curious about starting a digital fast, I thought it might be good to review the 7 steps:

Step 1: Go online crazy.

Unless you're online all the time, it's really not a big, dramatic deal for you to go offline. So the first thing you're going to want to do is make sure you're online 24 hours a day. Tweet everything that happens to you, no matter how insignificant. "Just ate a sandwich. Ever thought about that word? It has 'sand' in it. That would be gross if they really have sand in them." Change your Facebook status roughly every 90 seconds. Update your blog as frequent as Lowell said something dumb in the television program Wings. (Old school topical!)

Step 2: Write a blog post about taking a digital fast.

The irony of writing online about how you are going to take some time from being online is so rich that it's like a delicious sandwich spread made of boysenberry and irony. Technically, the Bible says we're not supposed to tell people when we fast. Maybe posts on your blog don't count. Maybe.

Step 3: Start a Twitter countdown.

You might have missed the start of Lent, but that doesn't mean you can't start your own digital fast next week. Every day, in the week leading up to your digital fast, tell people how many days until you take your digital fast. Or start a group on Facebook called "Friends taking a break from Facebook." The goal is to make sure you get as much attention possible about your very private, very personal digital fast.

Step 4: Go offline.

For a predetermined amount of time, just log off. Don't check email or fantasy sports scores or Facebook or anything else. And say things like this to your friends: "Oh man, I know how smokers feel when they quit. This is hard."

Step 5: After a week, go back online.

Make a triumphant return. Maybe write a blog with a headline from Eminem, "Guess who's back, back again? Guess who's back? Tell a friend!" Jump back online with both feet.

Step 6: Share the valuable lessons you learned while on your digital fast.

Turn three days offline into 10 days of blog material. Try to use the words, "community" and "fellowship" a lot, as if you suddenly discovered the real meaning of those during your 72-hour hiatus. If possible, post photos of you doing non-digital things, like flying a kite or making a sailboat or getting cats out of trees for people in your neighborhood.

Step 7: Return right back to your pre-digital fast amount of online consumption.

This wasn't about learning or praying or anything like that. This was about digital showmanship. You were like an Internet David Blaine holding your breath offline for three days straight. Return to the Internet like David Blaine would return to dating models after a three-day hiatus in a solid block of ice.

Hopefully, these steps will help you with your first digital fast. I can't wait to read all about it online and in the email newsletter you create. Just promise me you won't do what my friends who are actually giving up the Internet for Lent are doing. Praying, being contemplative, serving people, having long conversations where you actually talk to the people you're with, instead of texting other people you're not with! There was no drama in either of those decisions. Where's the fun in that?

Have you or a friend ever taken a digital fast?

Did you give something up for Lent?

 

(This is a Throwback Thursday post from a few years ago.)

Free SCL Calendar when you buy a Hello Somebody Watch!

I am a huge fan of Hello Somebody watches and have explained why a number of times.

1. They are cool like old school Swatches.

2. The guy who runs Hello Somebody knows it's about more than just watches.

3. The watches look much more expensive than they actually cost.

4. The watches help provide educational opportunities for Rwandan street kids.

And, today, I can add a new reason:

5. If you buy one today, you get a free Stuff Christians Like daily calendar.

Remember the calendar? There was a video that explains its awesomeness that may include me wearing a bedazzled sweater more appropriate for the ladies. Well today, since it's February 29th, a day that only comes around every four years, we thought it'd be fun to give away a free calendar with each watch purchase.

So lets review: You get an awesome watch, the joy of knowing you're helping someone, and a free calendar that will probably change your life by mid-April. (At the latest.)

Click here to order a watch! 

When good isn't good enough.

This post is going to make me look petty. About midway through, you're going to scratch your head or your chin or maybe an appendage and think to yourself, "Gee whiz, that Jon Acuff sure is petty." (Or maybe you'll say "Gee willikers." Who am I to tell you what "Gee" modifier you have to use?)

And the only reason you'll think this post makes me look petty is because I am petty.

There's a great temptation as a Christian blogger to only write things that make you look good. Or holy. Or put together. Or done with an issue. My friend John Crist challenged me one day about that. He said, "Did you ever notice pastors always 'used to' struggle with things? Whenever you confess something to them, they say, 'Oh yeah, I used to struggle with that too.' No one is ever currently struggling with issues."

So here's something I'm currently struggling with, a current affair if you will, like Connie Chung's husband Maury.

Two weeks ago, my friend's book hit number 2 on the New York Times Bestseller list. And I was excited for him because he hustled like few people on the planet to make that happen. But as I was driving to my men's Bible study, a thought popped into my head, "Hey, wait a second, Quitter didn't hit the New York Times Bestseller List."

So, I said, "Hey God, how come Quitter didn't hit the list?"

(I called it the "list" with God, because he's God and knew exactly what I was referring to.)

I felt like his response was,

"Because I didn't put it on the New York Times list."

Huh, that's a curious response, and not the one I was expecting. So I said, "Really, why not?"

To which I felt like God said, "All things work for the good of those who love me."

"Ahhh, OK," I said, "I don't see how me not making the New York Times list is good. You and I seem to have a very different definition of the word 'good.'"

To which God responded, "We sure do."

Now granted, I did not receive this on a scroll or hear this from a burning bush. But as I prayed, this is what I felt inside. And to be honest, I wasn't super happy with that. Why? Because sometimes I don't read the Bible the way it's written.

Here is what Romans 8:28 says: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

Here is how I read that verse though:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of Jon, according to Jon's purpose.

Is that how your Bible reads? I could have sworn that's how mine is written.

Which is why when I run into something unfortunate, whether it's small and petty like a book not hitting the NYT list or something major like illness, I am so often frustrated at God.

Why did this happen? How can this thing possibly work for the good? Why do bad things happen to good people? You promised good, God, and this isn't good.

But we're not promised our purpose. We're promised God's purpose. We're not promised our definition of good. We're promised God's definition of good. And in the moment when life crashes down, and our own expectations of what "good" should look like fall apart to ashes, we tend to think God has failed us. Or does not love us. Or that "all things" don't work for the good, just some things.

The truth, though, is that all things do. How? Because his purpose is exponentially bigger and more beautiful than mine could ever be. He is painting pictures with the universe as his backdrop. He is unraveling stories with generations as his paper. His vision and his ability to define good is so much grander than mine. So when I get his purpose, when whatever situation I'm in works toward his purpose, I don't get my small definition of good. I get his massive definition of great.

That doesn't make it easy. That doesn't make the Christian life carefree or painless. That doesn't mean you won't have nights or even years when you don't doubt and say to God, "You promised me good, and this is not good!" You will. I will too. But my hope is that, when we hold up our broken definition of good to God and ask him what's going on, we will remember what Christ said about the father in Luke 11:

"For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"

Today might feel like a snake, but it is not. Tomorrow might feel like a scorpion, but it is not. Our great God always works toward a good greater than we can possibly imagine.

Trying to Shazam Christian songs.

Dear Shazam,

Can I call you "Sha Love" or "Zambastic?" What about "Shazam Ranks" in a tribute to Shabba? Shazam just feels so formal and stiff.

Especially for my favorite app of all time. I love you so much that, in Quitter, I even wrote about the brief falling out you and I had.

You, my friend, are like voodoo. It hurts my brain when I try to understand how you work on my iPhone. I hear a strange song on the radio or in a clothing store that is so hip I'm surprised they even let me in. I press your big blue button of goodness and hold you above my head like a musical rebel.

In mere seconds, you buzz and tell me the name of the song and who sings it. When I was a kid, if you didn't know the name of a song, well then too bad. Who told you life was fair? Just walk to school barefoot in the snow, uphill both ways, and shut up.

Actually, it wasn't hard being a kid. And, in most cases, if I heard a song playing in our house, there was an 87% chance it was James Taylor. My parents loved them some Sweet Baby James. To this day, in my mind I'm going to Carolina.

And as a kid, I thought there were only two Christian musicians alive. I grew up in Massachusetts and didn't have access to Christian radio. As far as I knew, the only two people on the planet singing about God were Michael W. Smith and Amy Grant. They were the first concert I went to, a joyous moment I would recreate in complete awkwardness years later when I met Michael W. Smith on a plane.

The point is, I didn't know Christian music existed, and sometimes I think you don't either. I don't want to start a conspiracy, unless it would dramatically improve my blog traffic, but it seems like when I'm listening to Wally on WayFM and try to Shazam a song, you can't help me out. I get this sad screen below:

But hip hop, top 40, that music you always know the name of. When I Shazam a song on a pop station, like "5 0'Clock" by T-Pain and Lily Allen (which I can totally listen to because of this post), you instantly know the info about that song.

You can't wait to tell me who sings it and where I can buy it.

Tell me I'm wrong. Maybe I'm the only one with that issue. Maybe I need to use all my social media influence and ask that Christian musicians actually send you the information you need. (My influence is actually pretty small, but I could probably get someone from the David Crowder Band to send you their info since they once did a guest post on SCL. Although they broke and joined Hillsong. It's a whole thing.)

If you're reading this Shazam, let me know what you think. I love you so much that I wrote about you in Quitter, and I still have a place for you in my app heart.

Sincerely,

Jon

Question:

If you use Shazam, what's the last song you Shazammed?

Having a favorite version of the Bible.

Recently in a post I wrote the following line:

We are the only creation on the entire planet God put his breath in. The most amazing sunset can't say that. The mountains can't proclaim that. The deepest ocean can't declare that. 

I tweeted the first part of it, and someone disagreed with the idea. Here is what they said:

What do you think of Psalm 104:30? "When you give (animals) Your breath, life is created…" (NLT) Look at different trans too…

My first thought in response was "The NLT is what you're using to back up a point? What?!! That's like trying to win an argument using the Message."

And it was in that moment I realized, "I have a secret Bible hierarchy in my head." Maybe you do too, here's mine:

NIV 1984 – My Go To Bible

This is my day to day, read it, trust it, love it version of the Bible. I know lots of folks who like the newer version of the NIV. But for me, I've got to go with 1984. (Even if sometimes I get distracted and think about George Orwell's 1984 and the Apple Super Bowl commercial where the lady throws the hammer through the screen.) I was raised on this version, and it's my bread and butter Bible.

KJV – The "Oh know you didn't!" Bible

This is the version of the Bible I sprint to if I get into a disagreement with someone about theology. I think of this Bible like my grandfather. Old, wise and occasionally prone to whittling monkeys out of peach pits. If I'm ever stuck in a corner, this is where I head.

NLT – Modern Times Bible

According to Wikipedia, the NLT attempts to "translate the original texts simply and literally with a dynamic equivalence synergy approach used to convey the thoughts behind the text where a literal translation may have been difficult to understand." Oh, when you say it that way, it is simple to understand. It's the "dynamic equivalence synergy approach." Gotcha. Regardless of that explanation, I still find it an enjoyable read.

The Message – Poetry & Prose Bible

I love the message because it paints a visual picture of what's going on in the Bible. It also, as I've said before, reads like the lyrics of a John Mayer song, which is nice too.

Douay-Rheims Bible – Makes me sound smart Bible

Though I've never actually cracked open this edition of the Bible, every now and then I will mention it in a conversation just so I seem smarter than I really am. "Oh, you haven't read the Douay-Rheims Bible? You must! You really must! I personally find it to be a fantastically accurate translation of the Latin Vulgate."

That's my hierarchy of Bibles, or "canon" if you will. I certainly left plenty amazing versions out, but the Internet only has so much available space, and I'm trying to conserve some room for other bloggers.

What's your favorite version of the Bible?

U.S. vs. U.K.

(It's guest post Friday! Here's one from Stephen Pepper, who blogs about youth work and youth ministry at YouthWorkin' It. You can also follow him on Twitter @youthworkinit. If you want to write a guest post for SCL, here's how!)

The U.S. vs. the U.K. by Stephen Pepper.

The recent popularity of the hit show Downton Abbey has inspired a whole new generation of people to ask the question, "Is that what life is really like in England?" And the quick answer is, "Yes, yes it is. Almost exactly." In addition to trying to keep my countless footmen, valets and housemaids in order, we Brits are also under tremendous pressure to make sure words like "Downton" are spelled and pronounced correctly. (Be honest, how tempting is it to spell that word as "Downtown?") Although I can't speak to every nuance to British life in this post, I think I can clear up a few differences about church. After growing up in the U.K. and moving to the U.S. two years ago, I've noticed quite a lot of differences in how church is done on a Sunday. Here's a (not so) cultural guide for both countries:

Communion Bread:

U.S. – A lot of churches use magic wafers (magic like Gandalf, not Harry Potter). These wafers are made of some kind of strange synthetic material (due to transubstantiation?) that disappears if a drop of water touches it, yet still manages to get stuck to the roof of your mouth so you look like a weirdo when trying to dislodge it.

U.K. – Most churches use actual bread (Dr. Atkins passed us by).

Communion wine:

U.S. – You get the wine in a ridiculously miniature plastic cup, that is surprisingly easy to break.

U.K. – Everyone sips wine from a chalice, although I prefer thinking of it as a goblet so I can pretend to be Henry VIII.

Travel:

U.S. – To get to church, a lot of Americans go on an epic journey most Brits would think of as a road trip.

U.K. – You don't go to a church that means being in the car more than 5 minutes.

Drinks and snacks:

U.S. – Go to church and you'll get good quality coffee and donuts. Depending on the church, you might even get a breakfast sandwich.

U.K. – You'll get a cup of tea and, if you're lucky (sorry, blessed), a Chocolate Hobnob. And by tea, I'm not talking the flavorless Lipton stuff in tiny square bags on a string you have here in America. I'm talking proper tea–PG Tips in pyramid shaped teabags. With milk. And no strings attached.

Parking:

U.S. – You'll never have any problem finding somewhere to park your car. Not only that, but the spaces are designed for massive American vehicles and can fit 5 Smart cars if you Tetris them well enough.

U.K. – Your church is doing well if it has 10 parking spots. After all, a lot of these churches were built before horses even had carts. Besides, your church is so local, you can walk!

Post-church lunch:

U.S. – People tend to go out to lunch after church, somewhere like Golden Corral. For non-U.S. residents, Golden Corral is a chain of all-you-can-eat buffets lovingly referred to as "The Golden Trough." We're allowed to go once a year, and only to the "posh" one in Virginia Beach. Yes, I did just refer to a Golden Corral as "posh".

U.K. – We couldn't be more stereotypical and love a good roast dinner. Which we chew with our bad teeth. While watching Monty Python. And listening to The Beatles. Before a spot of hooliganism.

Question:

Have you ever visited a church overseas? What differences did you notice?

(For more great stuff from Stephen, check out his blog at YouthWorkin' It.)

SCLQ – Bible Flavored Popcorn? Yes, please.

This will without a doubt be the most random photo I have ever posted on Stuff Christians Like. I saw these four items in a break room the other day. And, at first, I thought, "This would be a fun 'Caption this photo,' idea."

 

The captions you guys create are consistently hilarious, but then I thought of something even better we could do. Instead of coming up with captions, let's come up with our own Bible character-themed popcorn seasoning flavors.

Let's do that in the comments today. If Thomas Nelson or Zondervan uses any of our ideas, we'll split the money 50/50 and retire on some sweet, sweet popcorn cash.

I'll go first.

If we were going to create Bible character-themed popcorn seasoning flavors, mine would be:

Jonah Salty Cod

Samson Sweet Honey Glaze

Your turn. What Bible character-based seasoning would you create?