Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 605
June 22, 2011
Perhaps the Girl Scouts dont need me after all
Around this time last year I wrote a post about how I would like to change the Girl Scouts, and it received quite a response, both from women who despised their Girl Scout experience as well as those who found my criticism to be narrow-minded and unfounded.
While I still believe in what I wrote, I am willing to acknowledge that the hyperbole used in writing that post was unnecessary and foolish.
And it turns out that I may not be needed after all.
Girl Scouts Madison Vorva and Rhiannon Tomtishen have done a damn fine job of forcing change on their own by boycotting the sale of Girl Scout cookies and convincing others to do the same until palm oil, an ingredient that contributes to deforestation and endangers the habitats of animals like orangutans, is removed from the cookies altogether.
"Initially, Girls Scouts of USA mostly ignored Vorva and Tomtishen's criticisms. After the girls' area council leader contacted the national leadership, the teenagers were granted a conference call to plead their case in 2008-but as Vorva puts it, "they mostly talked at us." The issue flared up again recently after the organization moved to restrict comments on their Facebook page, deleting messages that had called for the group to stop using palm oil as part of a social network day of action."
"Girl Scouts of the USA is finally beginning to listen. Last week Vorva and Tomtishen had a two-hour meeting at the organization's national headquarters in New York City, and the group agreed to research palm oil to see if they can get more of the ingredient sustainably, or replace it."
And until they do, Madison Vorva and Rhiannon Tomtishen have pledged to continue applying pressure to the organization in every way that they can.
That includes continuing to boycott those damn cookies.
Ideally, I'd still like the Girl Scouts to stop pretending that this $700 million dollar cookie bonanza is an education opportunity that teaches girls about such buzzwords as finance, communication, organization, and teamwork.
Simply acknowledge that for a couple months every year, in order to fund their organization, little girls and their mothers are converted into an inexpensive sales and distribution system for a large-scale food company.
A little honesty can go a long way.
But what Madison Vorva and Rhiannon Tomtishen are doing is a start, and it is a good reminder that sometimes the best way to change an organization is from within, using grassroots methodology.
Having an ogre like me pounding on the door, demanding that they meet every one of my demands, is not always so effective.
Sucks to be a Sprite drinker
Sprite apparently has a new flavor.
I am not a Sprite drinker, but I can't help but wonder what this "new flavor!" moniker is meant to tell the consumer.
Good news, Sprite drinkers! The crap that you've been drinking for years has finally gotten better!
Or…
If you avoided Sprite in the past because it tastes like cough syrup, why not give it another try? We have a brand cough syrupy flavor!
Either way, it seems like the complete opposite of brand loyalty.
June 21, 2011
General maintenance required
Is it acceptable to call your doctor for an appointment under the heading of general maintenance?
At last count, the following issues requiring medical attention:
Two distinctly painful knee problems A foot problem (possible Plantar fasciitis) A shoulder problem A blocked earI've been waiting for my school year to end before making an appointment, and as a result, the issues have begun piling up. In fact, I suspect that the foot pain is a direct result of the knee issue.
But I'm worried that I'm going to come across as a lunatic hypochondriac if I arrive at the office with this litany of problems.
And the sad thing is I have a list almost as long for my dog, for whom I have also been waiting to make an appointment.
Perhaps I should prioritize my problems and make one appointment per month for the next five months until all my problems have been addressed.
Though I suspect that this could make me look even crazier.
Singular talent absent opportunity
This is one of those completely amazing, captivating and awe-inspiring performances that takes my breath away but then leaves me wondering to what purpose it serves other than to entertain me for a couple minutes.
It's almost tragic.
This guy cab do something that very few people in the world can do, and yet as far as I can tell, it's only good for the occasional YouTube video.
June 20, 2011
Fathers Day 2011
I spent my Father's Day playing 18 holes of golf, enjoying brunch with friends and eating ice cream for dinner, but it was the time I spent at the playground with my daughter was my favorite.
June 19, 2011
Three new Fathers Day laws
As my second Father's Day as a father draws to a close, I'd like to propose the following new Father's Day rules:
All golf courses should be set up in their most ideal conditions. Tee boxes should be positioned as close to the greens as possible. Pin placements should be ideal. Every effort should be made to ensure that a Father's Day round of golf goes exceptionally well. Fathers should never be required to wish one another a happy Father's Day over the phone. The old "I'll put him on the phone so you can tell him yourself" line should never be used on Father's Day. Father's don't like the phone. A "Happy Father's Day" by proxy is perfectly acceptable. Every effort should be made to keep fathers off the telephone whenever possible. In the event that trash collection day falls on the Monday following Father's Day, it should be moved to the Tuesday so that fathers are not required to end their day separating recyclables and dragging trashcans to the side of the road.Would someone like to second these motions?
Fathers Day well placed
It occurred to me that Father's Day is placed ideally on the calendar in order to garner maximum benefit for fathers, and oddly enough, mothers everywhere.
Sure, Mother's Day gets considerably more attention. It comes first on the calendar each year, and it seems to possess, unfairly perhaps, considerably more gravitas than Father's Day.
People even spend more money on Mother's Day gifts than Father's Day gifts.
Mothers just seem to get more attention than fathers.
But fear not, fathers of the world. All of these attributes work in favor of Father's Day.
First, by allowing mothers to be celebrated first, fathers are able to establish expectations each year in terms of their own day, and in doing so, they can take advantage of a mother's greatest weakness:
Guilt.
Provide the mother of your child with the day of her dreams and she is invariably going to feel the need to do at least the same for you., if not more.
Even more important, a mother's notion of the ideal Mother's Day is unlike anything that a father might consider ideal. In fact, it's not uncommon for a husband to think his wife slightly insane for the way she chooses to spend her Mother's Day
Take my most recent Mother's Day, for example. When given the choice to do anything she wanted, my wife optioned to drive two hours to her aunt and uncle's home in New York so that we could visit with her mother, grandmother and aunt.
And while I was happy to spend time with these people, all men know that the word visit is actually code for sitting inside a house and doing almost nothing, which is in no way ideal to the average man.
In fact, it is one of the last things a man would choose to do on a Sunday.
But like a dutiful husband, I happily went along, because I like the people who we were visiting, and most important, it was Mother's Day.
My wife's day.
Fast forward to Father's Day.
What are the chances that any father in the world would choose to drive two hours through holiday traffic in order to spend an afternoon sitting in a living room, eating sandwiches, smiling and chatting?
Very little.
Not only that, but Father's Day falls in June, when the weather is more likely to be warm and sunny and outdoor activities become more viable.
And since I willingly and happily abided by my wife's request on Mother's Day, even though it was laden with more than four hours on the road and an absence of any preferred activity, the potent combination of fairness, guilt and a genuine desire to want for a wife to want her husband to be happy provides most men with the ability to do almost anything they want on Father's Day.
This is why men often spend portions of their Father's Days on the golf course, at a ballgame, in front of the television, in a movie theater or even mowing the lawn.
Yes, mowing the lawn is still better than spending the day on the road and sitting on a living room couch.
And this actually works out well for mothers, too. For while men are typically asked to sacrifice when it comes to Mother's Day, women are required to do almost nothing on Father's Day. In fact, they are oftentimes able to equally benefit from Father's Day by joining their husbands for dinner, or perhaps a movie or a ballgame.
Take my Father's Day, for example.
It will open with an early round of golf, during which my wife and daughter will sleep. We will then have mutual friends over for brunch, which my wife is sure to enjoy.
After brunch, the fathers will head out for another 9 holes of golf while the ladies will invariably sit around the house and chat, which my wife will once again surely enjoy.
Later on tonight, we will go to dinner. The plan right now is to eat pie for dinner, though that could change to ice cream depending on my mood.
That's it.
Brunch with friends, an afternoon with friends, a dinner of pie, and nothing more.
A great day for me, and by all accounts, a great day for my wife absent of any sacrifice.
A win-win situation, and once that could only happen if Mother's Day preceded it.
June 18, 2011
Bugaboo is stupid. Uppababy rules. Im writing about baby strollers. The world must be coming to an end.
When my wife and I are in New York City, we see a lot of Bugaboo strollers and are frequently amused by their prevalence.
There are simply much better strollers on the market for considerably less money, but because Hollywood starlets are photographed with Bugaboos and high school has not ended for many people, mindless popularity continues to win the day.
Slate's Farhad Manjoo recently rated several high-end strollers and identifies our stroller, the Uppababy Vista, as one of the best.
That's right. I'm bragging about a baby stroller.
Manjoo's only criticism of the Uppababy stroller is this:
The only knock on it is style. If you spend a boatload on a stroller, you kind of want it to look like you've spent a boatload on a stroller. The Vista won't turn any heads. You'd better hope your baby's a looker.
I'm not sure what to think about this.
Is it good that my wife and I do not require our stroller to convey a sense of style to the world?
Or is it pathetic that style would even be a consideration when deciding upon a stroller?
Manjoo also fails to mention the expansion kit which turns a single-child stroller into a double stroller quite easily.
He cites the price and overall size of the Bugaboo as its two major drawbacks, but it also has significantly less storage space than the Uppababy (I've done a side-by-side comparison), which can be extremely important if you are living in in a place like Manhattan, where groceries are often carted home without the assistance of an automobile.
His top choice is the Orbit G2, and while it has some interesting features, his list of drawbacks are longer than any other stroller, making me wonder what the hell he is thinking. Limited storage space, a high price, a lack of a bassinette, a not-yet-available expansion pack and more make this stroller seem like one of the worst that he rated, and yet he inexplicably likes it the most.
Perhaps he's still got a little bit of high school left in him as well.
June 17, 2011
Lions should not even be allowed to pretend to eat little children
I am not, by any means, a helicopter parent.
I allow Clara cry herself to sleep, climb up slides and operate heavy equipment while on cold medication.
But I don't care how thick the glass might be. I would not allow this to happen.
