Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 335
November 1, 2015
Resolution Update: October 2015
1. Don’t die.
I didn't even come close to dying last month.
2. Lose 20 pounds.
I gained two pounds in October, so now I'm only down ten for the year. Ten more pounds in the next two months will be tough. Not impossible.
3. Do at least 100 push-ups and 100 sit-ups five days a week.
Done.
4. Stop drinking soda from two-liter bottles.
I didn’t drink soda from a two-liter bottle in October. Soda consumption continues to fall dramatically.
5. Practice yoga at least five days a week.
I continue to practice yoga almost every morning. My shoulder and collarbone still hurt from last month's football game, which makes it difficult, and I must find some time for a refresher course, but I'm trying.
6. Learn to cook three good meals for my wife.
I have three recipes to plan for courtesy of a good friend. I have done nothing with them thus far, and I am running out of time.
WRITING CAREER7. Complete my sixth novel before the end of 2015.
Work continues. I have signed a new, two book contract with my publisher, and the due date for the next book is February 28, 2016. So my end of year target date has been moved back two months.
Also, in fairness, I've written more than a novel's worth of content this year, spread between three different books, but none are completely finished.
8. Complete my seventh novel.
This book remains more than half finished.
9. Sell one children’s book to a publisher.
My agent is submitting three of my children's books and a satire of a children's book to editors this month. Fingers crossed.
10. Sell a memoir to a publisher.
The memoir will be paired with my book of essays, and both will be pitched by my agent before the end of the year.
11. Sell a book of essays to a publisher.
The essays are revised and the proposal is complete. It will be pitched by my agent before the end of the year.
12. Complete a book proposal for a book on storytelling.
Progress continues. It's now fully outlined. I am currently polishing the two sample chapters.
13. Write a new screenplay.
Revisions of my first screenplay - based upon film agent’s notes - are nearly complete.
I have decided upon the story for the next screenplay and have the story fairly well outlined (thanks in part to a friend's excellent suggestion). I haven't made any progress on it. This is going to be a tough goal to accomplish given time constraints.
Then again, a rough draft satisfies the goal and would be a great start.
14. Write 50 pages of a new memoir about the years of 1991-1993.
The collection of essays that I am writing now encompasses this period of time. This book and the book of essays are now one and the same.
15. Write a musical for a summer camp.
Done! I was lucky enough to see it performed onstage in July.
The musical that we wrote for last year's summer camp (Caught in the Middle) will be produced in 2016 at schools and other venues in the Hartford area.
16. Publish at least one Op-Ed in a physical newspaper.
I've also written another Op-Ed for the Hartford Courant that will run sometime this month.
My dream is to land a weekly column at a newspaper like the Hartford Courant before they disappear forever, but this is probably a hard gig to get.
17. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.
I submitted one of my short stories to a student magazine in Sao Paulo, Brazil, and it was accepted.
18. Select three behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.
I spent a week in July backing into parking spots, which was something I assumed was only done by lunatics of the highest order. I'm in the process of writing about my experience in for a blog post
I'm still on the hunt for my second behavior and running out of time.
19. Build an author mailing list.
Done! My latest newsletter will be sent today. My mailing list is close to 1,000 subscribers and growing.
If you're not signed up for my mailing list, you can do so here:
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20. Build a new website for matthewdicks.com
Done!
STORYTELLING21. Produce a total of eight Speak Up storytelling events.
Done! We produced our ninth and tenth shows in October at the Noah Webster House and the Connecticut Historical Society. We still have shows scheduled for November at the Farmington Library and December at Real Art Ways as well.
22. Deliver my fourth TED Talk.
Done! The recording was released in August. One of the cameras did not record my talk, and the other started recording about two minutes late. The recording is disappointing and useless. I have the worst TED luck ever.
I will be speaking at another TED conference in November. I am hoping for better luck.
23. Build a website for Speak Up.
Done! It’s a single page on my new author website, and it’s not nearly as robust as we want it to eventually be, but Speak Up finally has a webpage where you can find dates of events, ticket information, an opportunity to sign up for the mailing list, and more. You can find our webpage at speakupstorytelling.com.
24. Attend at least 10 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.
Done! I attended one Moth StorySLAM at The Bitter End in NYC in October. This brings my total number of Moth events attended in 2015 to 22.
25. Win at least two Moth StorySLAMs.
Done! I won another Moth StorySLAM in October at The Bitter End, bringing my total number of wins in 2015 to three.
I won a StorySLAM at The Bell House in Brooklyn in August.
I won a StorySLAM at Oberon in Cambridge back in April.
I would like to squeeze in one more before the year ends.
26. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.
Done twice over! I won the New York GrandSLAM at the Music Hall of Williamsburg in April and June.
I compete in another GrandSLAM in November.
27. Launch at least one podcast.
We recorded. We edited. We published to Sound Cloud. We submitted it to iTunes. They are reviewing it now. Any second now and we are launched.
NEW PROJECTS
28. Pitch at least three new projects to two smart people.
Done! I pitched a new writing project to a smart person in September, bringing my total to three new projects to three smart people.
Nothing has come from any of my pitches, but I'll keep trying.
29. Host at least one Shakespeare Circle.
Nothing scheduled yet. I'd better schedule something.
MISCELLANEOUS30. Enroll in the final class needed for certification as a high school English teacher.
No progress. This is not going to happen, but more importantly, I no longer want it to happen. Why the hell would I ever want to become a high school English teacher?
31. Set a new personal best in golf.
I tied my personal best of 47 through nine holes again. I'm not sure how many more chances I'll have this year to break it. I play this afternoon, but the days are getting shorter and colder, and my swing is not improving.
32. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.
Done.
October 31, 2015
My daughter's editorial proclivities bring me such joy for one special reason.
One of the unexpected joys of parenthood is discovering that your child does something that you have done in the past, without any prompting on your part.
Recently, I've noticed that my daughter, Clara, changes the names of the people in the problems that her teacher assigns to her own name.
I did the exact same thing when I was a kid.
My wife, Elysha, had seen what appeared to be squiggle marks over the names, but because she had not engaged in this practice as a child, she didn't understand what it meant.
I knew immediately. And I love it so much.
October 30, 2015
This might be the worst deal in baseball history. Or at least the most ridiculous.
On the eve of game three of the World Series (in which the Royals lead the Mets two games to none, I wanted to highlight this incredible bit of information that was included in ESPN's 20 Worst Dead Money Deals of All Time.
Though there are deals that cost teams more, this deal seems especially stupid, especially given the last sentence of the paragraph.
19. Bobby Bonilla, New York Mets, $29.8 million
The deal actually wasn’t that bad for Mets, but because of how far the payments were extended, Bonilla has become the poster boy for deferred or dead money. Simply put, the Mets could have just paid Bonilla the $5.9 million they owed him when they let him go in 2000. Instead, they worked out a payment plan that will net Bonilla $29.8 million from 2011 to 2035. The Mets’ owners thought they would come out ahead over time because of what they could make by investing the money instead, but it turns out they had been counting on what turned out to be fictional returns from Bernie Madoff’s Ponzi scheme. As a result, Bonilla is getting $1.19 million from the Mets every July 1 until 2035. This year he made more than many Mets players, including pitchers Matt Harvey, Jacob deGrom and Noah Syndergaard.
— http://espn.go.com/moresports/story/_...
October 29, 2015
Hindsight is rarely 20/20, so stop saying otherwise.
We need to stop saying that hindsight is 20/20.
If this were true:
My friend from high school wouldn't have married a seemingly endless string of deadbeats.The United States military wouldn't continue to invade nations in the Middle East hoping to affect meaningful and productive change.Poker players wouldn't continue to play ace-queen like it was ace-king.Organizations wouldn't continue to hire ineffective leaders.Financial institutions wouldn't continue to make risky bets. Students wouldn't continue to forget to put their homework in the backpacks.
Human beings are highly adept at repeating their mistakes. Through bad habits, unrecognized flaws, denial, and self deception, many people are incapable of looking back on their lives with anything approximating 20/20 vision.
Even historians disagree when examining the historical record. They debate the wisdom of political decisions, campaign strategies, and military maneuvers.
At best, hindsight is occasionally 20/20.
That's not as catchy as the conventional "Hindsight is 20/20," but at least it's true.
October 28, 2015
We encourage children to seek truth and knowledge in this world except when it comes to this.
A friend of mine posted this to Twitter a while back.
If any religion was real, we'd set kids loose in search of truth rather than trying to indoctrinate them into any "faith”.
As a reluctant atheist who wants to believe in a much more benevolent God than the one portrayed in the Bible, I wish this statement sounded like bunk, but unfortunately, he makes a damn fine point.
I actually came close to adhering to this model. As a child, I was set free in order to seek my own truth. I came home after my first CCD class declaring that I was done with Catholicism. "I'm not going back," I told my mother.
In response, Mom allowed me to choose my religion. She told me that I had to adopt a new faith, but it could be whatever one I liked best.
I chose Protestant Congregationalism. I liked the children's sermon, the lack of finery and ritual, and the Wonder bread and grape juice.
Unfortunately, it didn't stick.
October 27, 2015
Look what you can do with a full head of hair.
Oh, how I long for the days when I had enough hair to have this level of hat head.
Not really, but still, it's cute. Right?
October 26, 2015
Verbal sparring: "A bad day" is not an excuse to behave badly.
You don't get to treat people poorly because you're having "a bad day."
A bad day may cause you to be more emotional or temperamental than normal, but it doesn't mean that you're allowed to be rude, disrespectful, deceitful, unprofessional, mean, or abusive.
That is not a thing.
In fact, one of the best ways to judge a person's character is to observe their behavior when they are having a bad day. Anyone can pretend to be a decent person when the sun is shining and the bird are signing. The true test of character is to continue to act like a decent human being when nothing seems to be going right.
In short, "I'm sorry. I'm having a bad day," is not an excuse for acting like a jackass. If someone attempts to excuse their behavior for this reason, push back on this nonsense.
Push back hard.
October 25, 2015
3 petty bits of nonsense that should never bother you (unless you are equally petty)
1. Friends or relatives who name their baby the same name or a similar name as your child
You don't own the name.
You didn't invent the name.
The name is not a reflection of you (even if you'd like to think otherwise).
Most important, the kid will never give a damn if someone else shares his or her name.
Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, so be flattered that someone liked the name that you chose for your child so much that they decided to do the same.
2. Failure to receive a thank you note
We don't send gifts in order to receive thank you notes. Sending a gift with the expectation of receiving something in return is called a trade, and in this case, a gift in exchange for a thank you note is a tragically inequitable trade. We give gifts because we love a person or at least like a person. We should be giving gifts free of obligation or expectation. To do otherwise is petty and sad and cloying.
3. The cost of a gift given to you
If you are spending even half a second contemplating the price of a gift received or (even worse) comparing the cost of a gift given to you by a friend to the cost of the gift you gave to that friend, it is time to start volunteering in an orphanage or a leper colony in order to find some meaning in your life. Gift giving is not a dollar-for-dollar exchange of goods but a heartfelt offering unrelated to expense.
October 24, 2015
Music is not the most important part of my job as a wedding DJ.
Last night I wrapped up my 19th year as a wedding DJ.
When we first launched the business back in 1997, I thought that music was going to be the most important part of my job. Learning to mix songs together with great precision and playing just the right song at just the right moment seemed paramount to me.
And yes, it's true. The primary reason I am hired as a wedding DJ is to play music, but every DJ can play the music. Some are better at mixing music and matching beats, but every experienced, professional DJ can play the music with an acceptable level of skill.
I have learned that the secret behind our success hasn't been the music but all of the other things that we routinely do during a wedding.
Last night, for example:
I met with the justice of the peace, who was officiating a wedding ceremony for the first time. She was nervous and unsure about certain parts of the ceremony. I've married more than two dozen people over the past ten years (and have watched hundred of other wedding ceremonies), so I was able to iron out some of the wrinkles in her plan and put her more at ease. I met with the best men, who was delivering a toast later that night, and revised his plan a bit, thus ensuring that his toast would be well received and the bride would not feel insulted.I bustled the bride's dress when she lost a button on the back during the reception. I tied the ring bearer's tie after his mother gave up in frustration. I fixed the jammed popcorn maker, thus endearing myself to the dozen or so children at the wedding. During the cake cut, I extricated a small but exceptionally persistent boy from the scene - and therefore from the photographs - by handing him a microphone and encouraging him to turn it on and play with it. By the time he realized that the microphone was never going to work, the cake cut was complete and the problem had been averted.I brought a drink to a father who had been sitting in the same chair for more than two hours with his sleeping toddler flower girl draped over his shoulders. The look of gratitude on that man's face was priceless.I brought the father of the bride his jacket and suggested that he wear it just prior to his dance with his daughter. He thanked me profusely later in the night. I extricated the bride and groom from a lengthy conversation with a "friend of the family" - which often means a friend of the mother and father - by recognizing their desire to escape and providing them with an excuse to do so. The looks of gratitude on their faces were even better.And yes, I played the music, too. It went well. I actually closed out the evening with a series of six well chosen songs that packed the dance floor, including Sweet Caroline, Jessie's Girl, and Don't Stop Believin'.
I would've normally played popular songs from the previous year at the end of the wedding, but I recognized early on that this was a sing-along crowd, meaning they were the kind of people who liked to sing on the dance floor as much as they liked to dance. As a result, I ditched the latest Katy Perry and Meghan Trainor songs in favor of more lyrically ubiquitous tunes. It worked perfectly.
Music matters. It's just the easy part.
Despite our best efforts to retire, we have already booked two weddings for 2016 and more are likely on the way. We no longer advertise or even maintain a real website, but we're the preferred vendor at two of our favorite wedding venues, so we continue to book weddings via these vendor lists. Otherwise, brides and grooms need to know us and be referred to us by a former client or friend in order to book us.
It's not the 40-60 weddings a year that we once did. Instead, it's half a dozen Friday or Saturday nights spent with my best friend doing something that we have become quite good at over the course of two decades.
And mostly because of the little things that we do to make the wedding day a little better for everyone involved.
October 23, 2015
My daughter betrayed me. I'll say it doesn't hurt, but truthfully, it hurts a lot.
My daughter - who is in first grade - told her friends at school that I was a DJ.
Her friends, most sensibly, were impressed. They made the motion that DJ's make when scratching records and asked, "Does he do wiki-wiki?"
"What'd you say?" I asked.
"I told them that you weren't that cool." Then she looked me in the eye and said, "You're not that cool, Daddy."
What the hell does she know? She's in freakin' first grade.
For the record, I can certainly scratch as her friends described, but I do so digitally and not often. I'm a wedding DJ. It's more about management of the wedding, establishing fast and productive relationships with people, and coordination of services.
Much less about my slick mixes and cool jams.
