Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 303

How the Republican Party went from Lincoln to Trump

I knew some of this history but not all of it.

Very relevant and fascinating, particularly if you're someone like me who's been wondering if he's been dropped into some alternate universe or possibly living within a Simpsons cartoon.

I think my daughter is becoming cool.

Clara came downstairs yesterday morning, asked Alexa (the name assigned to the Amazon Echo) to play Francis England (her favorite musician, who she found independently on Spotify), and then just sat and listened.

One of the best things about our Amazon Echo is the control it's given our kids over the music they love. It's not uncommon for either one of them to walk into the room and ask for music if none is playing. 

But yesterday morning was especially great. Given television, iPads, or breakfast, Clara chose music.

She might be bordering on becoming legitimately cool. 

Unfair assumption: Leaders who park in their privileged parking spots don't get it

You become manager, CEO, Superintendent, team leader, department head, or the like. As one of the perks to your new position, you are assigned a preferred parking spot, presumably closer to the building than the rest of the spots in the parking lot and perhaps even labeled. 

And then, rather than offering the parking spot to an employee with mobility issues, or raffling your spot off each month at a staff meeting, or awarding the spot to your best performer, you actually park your car in the parking spot.

This is a clear signal that you don't get it.

A preferred parking spot is an opportunity for a boss to demonstrate a certain level of decency, camaraderie, kindness, generosity, and appreciation by forgoing the parking spot at almost no cost to themselves and impressing employees in the process.

In fact, the only cost of giving away the spot is steps. That's it. The boss will have to take extra steps each day to enter the building. A little additional exercise in exchange for an enormous amount of goodwill and appreciation.

It's a no brainer. It's the reason preferred parking spots exist. They were meant to be given away.

I have been awarded the privilege of a preferred parking spot twice in my life. Both spots were labeled with the sign. Even though I was young and fairly inexperienced at the time, I knew that there was no way in hell I was going to park my car in either those spots. In both cases, I gave my spot away on a monthly basis and garnered an enormous amount of goodwill and appreciation in the process.

Even better, in one of those situations, three other people were also awarded parking spots, and they used their spots rather than giving them away. Needless to say I enjoyed much more support from my employees than my fellow managers, for many reasons, I suspect), but this parking spot was a clear indicator of how I felt about my employees in comparison to my fellow managers.

It was great for me and terrible for them.

Frankly, I don't know how a person with preferred parking spots doesn't feel like a complete ass when they park their car in their spot. No person in any company or business is so important as to need to park closer to the building. Anyone who thinks they are important enough to require a preferred parking spot should not be in a leadership position.

Let your employees know you care by allowing them to park closer to the building. Take a hundred extra steps each day. It'll be good for you, both in terms of your health and your career.

Otherwise, I am going to assume that you don't get it.

Unfairly, perhaps, but I also won't be alone in my opinion.

How to Make a Tennis Ball (also it's impossible to make a tennis ball)

A video like this - which is beautifully shot and fascinating - is the kind of thing that further convinces me that the complexity of the world has reached the point wherein a global collapse of basic infrastructure would lead to the extinction of so many things.

Like tennis as we know it. 

Watching this video convinces me that making a tennis ball would be nearly impossible if we had to start from scratch.

Let's hope we never have to start from scratch. 

Resolution Update: July 2016

PERSONAL HEALTH

1. Don’t die.

I have pneumonia, but it didn't stop me from enjoying four days in Maine with Elysha to celebrate our tenth anniversary, and it didn't keep me from the Guns N' Roses concert at Foxboro Stadium a day after my diagnosis. I also attended in a Moth StorySLAM and played a round of golf. 

I'm indestructible.  

2. Lose 20 pounds.

17 pounds down. Just three to go. 

3. Do at least 100 push-ups and 100 sit-ups five days a week.

Done.

4. Practice yoga at least three days a week.

I'm scheduling a meeting to restart my yoga practice this month. 

WRITING CAREER

5. Complete my fifth novel before the end of February.

Done!

6. Complete my sixth novel.

I have two novels that are more than halfway finished and one that is finished but requires a complete re-write. However, it doesn't look like either of these will be my next novel.

We are still deciding on the next book. Fingers crossed I can convince my editor of the greatness of one of these manuscripts.  

7. Write a proposal for a middle grade novel.

Done! Four chapters, 10,000 words, and a synopsis submitted to my agent. If she approves, we send it onto the editor.

8. Write at least three new picture books. 

One of my now former students and I are writing a picture book. I am editing two previously written picture books. I expect that the other new picture books will be written during the school year. 

9. Complete a book proposal for a book on storytelling.

Done! Three chapters, an outline, and comparisons have been sent to my agent. I await feedback. 

10. Write a new screenplay

No progress yet.

11. Write a musical for a summer camp

Done! I had the pleasure of watching the musical performed at the summer camp at the beginning of the month, and it was fantastic.

Grown men cried. Literally. 

I liked the story so much that I may adapt it for a middle grade book at some point. 

12. Publish at least one Op-Ed in The New York Times.

I've now submitted two Op-Ed pieces to the New York Times and been rejected both times.

I am now working on a new piece. 

13. Publish an article in an educational journal.

No progress yet. 

14. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.

No progress yet.

15. Select three behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.

I spent a week backing my car into parking spots (which initially struck me as insane). I am still writing about my experience, which is to say I am still staring at the same three paragraphs and failing to complete them. 

16. Increase my author newsletter subscriber base to 1,000.

Done! My subscriber list now stands at 1,004 readers. 

I finally figured out how to include a one-time pop-up subscription offer on my website, which caused my subscriber list to jump quickly.  

If you'd like to join the masses and receive my monthly newsletter, which contains a writing and storytelling tip, an Internet recommendation, book recommendations, free giveaways, and more, subscribe here:

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17. Collaborate with a former colleague on an educational book.

This project has been cancelled. After meeting with my collaborator, we determined that I am not best suited for this project.    

STORYTELLING

18. Produce a total of 12 Speak Up storytelling events.

We produced two showcase presentations in July (following a weeklong series of workshops), including one in partnership with Voices of Hope, an organization that seeks to capture and retell the stories of survivors of the Holocaust and their subsequent generations.   

This brings our total number of shows to ten in 2016.

19. Deliver a TED Talk.

Done twice over! 

I spoke at TEDxNatick in January. The title of the talk was "Live Your Life Like Your 100 Year-Old Self." Here's the recording: 

I also spoke at the TEDx conference at The Country School in Madison, CT in April. The title of the talk was "Speak Less. Expect More." Here is the recording:

I've also pitched talks another TEDx event in 2016 and await word. 

20. Attend at least 15 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

Done! In July, I attended Moth StorySLAMs at Town Hall in Flushing, Laugh Boston in Boston, and Once Ballroom in Somerville. 

This brings my total number of Moth events in 2016 to 15.   

21. Win at least three Moth StorySLAMs.

I attended three StorySLAMs in July. My name was pulled from the hat at Laugh Boston, where I finished in second place. My name remained in the hat at the other two shows. 

I have attended a total of 12 Moth StorySLAMs in 2016 thus far but only performed three times.

I had my named pulled first in one slam (making it almost impossible to win).I tied for first in another slam (and lost on the tiebreaker). I finished in second place last month. 

It's been a tough 2016. Having my name come out of the hat 25% of the time - particularly when every slam requires about five total hours of driving, isn't exactly inspiring. 

22. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.

Done! I won the Moth GrandSLAM in Somerville in March. 

I'll be performing in the next NYC Moth GrandSLAM in August. 

23. Launch at least one new podcast.

Background work (podcast logo, hosting service, website, etc.) continues. I'm close. Also excited.  

24. Launch a storytelling project that I will otherwise remain vague about here but will become a primary focus of 2016. 

Work on this project has begun in earnest. 

NEW PROJECTS

25. Host at least one Shakespeare Circle.

No progress.

26. Learn to cook three good meals for my wife.

No progress

27. Plan a 25 year reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.

I contacted the apartment complex where we lived from 1989-1992 (the location of the Heavy Metal Playhouse), hoping there might be a room to rent onsite for the reunion. No luck.

I'm seeking a location for the reunion nearby and will then decide upon a date.

MISCELLANEOUS

28. Replace the 12 ancient, energy-inefficient windows in our home with new windows that will keep the cold out and actually open in the warmer months.

No progress. 

29. Optimize our television for a streaming service. 

No progress.

30. Set a new personal best in golf.

I have begun a serious and committed change of my swing under the guidance of a friend who also happens to be an outstanding teacher. As a result, I am hitting the ball farther, higher, and less consistently. I was practicing at the range 3-4 times a week until pneumonia slowed me down a bit.

As a result, I scored poorly in July but am hitting the ball better than ever before. 

I also applied for a targeted practice experiment through a popular podcast with a specific focus on hitting my driver farther. If accepted, I will receive a professional trainer and my progress will be charted via the podcast.  

31. Play poker at least six times in 2016.

I played one game back in April. I canceled the game I scheduled for July do to lack of attendance.  

I need some people who want to play.

32. Do not speak negatively about another person's physical appearance except when done in jest with my closest friends. 

Done. I started to comment on the appearance of a man in the sidecar of a motorcycle in Maine but stopped myself short.

Here's a potentially new idea for next year: 

I will not comment on physical appearance - good or bad - in any way unless I am speaking to my wife and children. I already adhere to this policy in the classroom as a teacher, so why not expand it throughout my life? 

My goal is to reduce the amount of attention paid to physical appearance in this society, shifting attention to things that truly matter: words and actions. I understand that one man's crusade may not change the world, but perhaps it will change my world and influence those around me. 

Change often starts small, many times with one person. And I believe in this cause.  

I'm not sure about this goal yet, but I'm considering it. Thoughts?

33. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Done.

The Internet is kind and crazy and kind of crazy

Last week I wrote a piece advising that you avoid shopping at multiple grocery stores in a given week, arguing that time is more valuable than the marginal differences in taste and quality of food. 

The argument is more complex than that, but you can go read the piece if you'd like.

It was also published by the Huffington Post, which caused it to garner many more readers.

In terms of direct responses to me via Twitter, email, comments, and Facebook regarding the piece, the reaction was about 80% positive. Many people acknowledged and even thanked me for illuminating the idea that time is our most valuable commodity.

I received tweets like this:

Terry Morriston @msm114
Inspiration at grocery store:  Make time for what you love. Thx @MatthewDicks for a well said reminder goo.gl/Cbz7OH

Kelley Crawford @pga_wife
.@MatthewDicks read the "Grocery Store" blog. I've always thought my time is a value; I appreciate the validation! pic.twitter.com/SKuWOSHT8C

Many who who disagreed with me when it came to shopping were still kind enough to say that the overall sentiment of the piece rang true with them. They felt that shopping for food in multiple stores was worthy of their time, but they appreciated the sentiment regarding the thoughtful use of your time. I exchanged emails with a 90 year-old man who told me to "keep preaching because everybody's wasting their life away." 

Then there were responses like this:

Buzz Gadbois @buzz_gadbois
@MatthewDicks idiot uniformed on nutrition and how food affects our health...this article will kill thousands if they listen to you

Just imagine. My suggestion that people shop in fewer grocery stores and make better use of their time will "kill thousands." 

Also, I'm apparently an idiot.

Then there was this:

Roger Matthews @RogerMatthews6
@MatthewDicks Forgotten?? Americans used to shop at a variety of food stores (French still do). Learn some history.

This one was interesting in that I readily acknowledge in the piece that Americans once shopped at a variety of stores. I could not acknowledge it more explicitly. 

Yet I must "Learn from history."

He followed up his initial tweet with this:

Roger Matthews @RogerMatthews6
@MatthewDicks No citing of people in know, eg chefs. Start/end from prejudice. Capitalist prop. Americans decided nothing. Shoved down throats

Prejudice. Capitalistic propaganda. Heavy stuff for a piece suggesting that shopping in half a dozen grocery stores might be a waste of time. 

The comment section of the piece on Huffington Post also became a festering pit of point and counterpoint, with 220 comments at the writing of this post. 

Some express agreement with me.
Some respectfully disagree and attempt to present an alternate view.
Some have clearly been written in Crazy Town, USA.  

I never mind when readers disagree with me, but when they call me names, make hyperbolic statements, and say things like "Learn some history," I always respond by congratulating these people on making such excellent use of the anonymity of the Internet, which allows them to say horrible and ridiculous things that they would be unlikely to say in person. 

When you write a blog post every single day for more than 12 years (as I have), you always run the risk of upsetting readers. Angering them. Hearing from them loud and clear when they disagree.

You also run the risk of being called names and occasionally encountering the residents of Crazy Town. 

Thankfully, I have a thick skin and a good sense of humor. My wife and I got a good laugh over the thousands who will die upon reading my piece. I had a good laugh on the golf course over my capitalistic propaganda and extreme prejudice. I took great pleasure in congratulating these Internet trolls for finding such an ideal digital bridge to hide beneath while flinging insults and spouting their bizarre rants.   

This blog has brought me far more good than bad, and that is saying a lot given some now distant history. But it's true. I have met some remarkable people and enjoyed some amazing opportunities and experiences through the act of writing and connecting with thousands of people daily. 

But there are also the trolls. The lunatics. Angry, rude, and loathsome people who behave badly because they need not encounter me in person.  

Honestly, I kind of enjoy them, too. They make me laugh. They serve as an excellent contrast to the reasonable, rationale, decent people who I encounter. They make for great stories.

My son is ready for his next 15 minutes of fame

Earlier in the year, my kids were featured in a TurboTax ad after an advertising agency found a photo of them on this blog. They actually earned enough money from that gig to pay for a two night stay at Great Wolf Lodge, a place they have been wanting to visit for months.

If any advertising agencies are still paying attention, it would appear that my son would like another shot at the big time, perhaps as the new spokesperson for a restaurant chain or food company.

You have to admit that he has the right look.

The Moth: She Held My Hand

In August of 2015 I told the story of my first date with my wife at a Moth StorySLAM at The Bitter End. The theme of the night was Guts. 

I won the slam that night, but being the hyper-critical person that I am, I hear a lot of room for improvement in the story. It's not my best.

Frankly, I get annoyed at myself during the story for some of the choices I make. 

Still, it's about Elysha and me and our beginning, and, so here it is, in all its imperfection.

Bill O'Reilly reminds us that the slaves who built the White House were "well fed and had decent lodgings," because why?

You have to wonder the thinking behind Bill O'Reilly's decision to fact-check Michelle Obama's assertion in her Democratic National Convention speech that she has been living in a home built by slaves. 

Michelle Obama said:

"I wake up every morning in a house that was built by slaves. I watch my daughters — two beautiful, intelligent, black young women — playing with their dogs on the White House lawn."

O'Reilly acknowledged that Obama was correct, but in doing so, said the following:

"Slaves that worked there were well-fed and had decent lodgings provided by the government, which stopped hiring slave labor in 1802. However, the feds did not forbid subcontractors from using slave labor. So, Michelle Obama is essentially correct in citing slaves as builders of the White House, but there were others working as well. Got it all? There will be a quiz."

As you might expect, his assertion that slaves were "well-fed and had decent lodgings" didn't go over very well with a lot of people, including me.

Slavery - regardless of your slave master's meal plan and accommodations - is still slavery, and it should never be made to sound like anything but the stripping away of a person's freedom, dignity, and basic human rights. 

Also, how the hell does Bill O'Reilly know what was happening to those slaves at the time? 

Well-fed, perhaps, but also likely beaten at the hands of their slave masters.Decent lodgings, maybe, but probably watched as their children were sold to plantations hundreds of miles away, never to be seen again.Even if the slaves that built the White House had three square meals a day and roofs over their heads, they also lacked the freedom to speak or travel or do what they wanted and love who they wanted for their entire lives. 

Honestly, what was O'Reilly thinking?

Did this Fox News talking head find Michelle Obama's assertion so rhetorically effective that he just had to find a way to undermine it?

Is it simply instinct for him to attempt to mitigate anything that comes out of the mouth of a Democrat?

Was he so frustrated that Michelle Obama's speech (and almost every other speech delivered at the DNC) was almost infinitely better than the 75 minutes of vitriol spittled from the gaping maw of Donald Trump?

Even if all this were true, you don't defend slavery, even in a tiny way under the guise of fact checking. Find something else to attack. Find another way to undermine your opponent.  

Here's a party game you can play sometime:

Try to make a list of things you could say that are as stupid and awful as saying that slavery wasn't as bad as you might think. 

It's hard to do. It's a very short list.

Writing advice from a toddler that authors should heed carefully

When my daughter was three years old, still unable to read, she taught me three invaluable lessons about the craft of writing. Specifically, she offered three specific pieces of criticism made an impression on me as an author and remain with me today.

1. Don’t overwrite. More importantly, don’t refuse editing. 

After watching some of its more famous musical numbers on YouTube, Clara and my wife sat down to watch Mary Poppins in its entirety for the first time.

Three years later, she still has yet to see the complete film.

While her interest admittedly waned throughout the film, her most telling comment came just over thirty minutes into the movie when she stood up from the couch and said, “Too long!”

She’s right. At 139 minutes, the film is far too long for most three-year old children, and it might be too long in general. As much as I loved Mary Poppins as a child, a two hour and nineteen minute children’s musical probably could have stood a little more time in the editing room.

Authors often have a great deal to say. We try to restrain ourselves as much as possible, but it often requires the expertise of an agent and an editor to bring our stories down to a length that will maintain a reader’s interest. It’s not an easy process. My agent has chopped whole chapters out of my book. My editors has murdered my characters. Hours and hours of work and strings of carefully honed, treasured sentences lost forever.

But better to lose an entire chapter than to have a reader toss down the book and shout, “Too long!”

2. Conflict is king. Backstory and resolution are secondary.  

With almost any television show that Clara watches, she exhibits the same pattern of interest:

As the conflict in the story rises, she remains riveted to the program. But as soon as the resolution is evident, even if it has not yet happened, her interest immediately wanes. She will walk right out of the room before the resolution even takes place if she can see it coming. 

It’s a good lesson for authors to remember. It is conflict that engages the reader. Backstory and resolution are necessary, but these elements should occur within the context of the conflict as often as possible and should probably occupy the fewest number of pages as possible. Keep the tension high throughout the story and keep the conflict ever-present in the readers’ minds and you will hold their interest throughout.

3. Keep your promises to the reader.

Clara does not appreciate when a television show goes off-book or changes genres midstream. Her favorite show for a long time was The Wonder Pets. It’s a program about three preschool class pets who moonlight as superheroes, saving baby animals around the world who are in trouble.

But occasionally the writers of The Wonder Pets decide to step outside this proven formula. In one episode, The Wonder Pets save an alien who is trying to return to his planet. In another, two of The Wonder Pets must save the third from peril. One episode is essentially a clip show in which the baby animals that they have already saved return to thank The Wonder Pets for their help. 

Clara hated these episodes. The alien episode scared the hell out of her. She fled the room saying, “Not this one! Not this one!” The other more experimental episodes never manage to keep her interest.

Clara is invested in The Wonder Pets because of the promise of baby animals being saved and returned to their parents by the three characters who she adores. 

It’s a good lesson for authors who sometimes offer the reader one thing but then give them another. This can happen when authors fail to remain faithful to the genre in which they are writing, infusing their fantasy novel with a sudden splash of science fiction or bringing serious social commentary into what was supposed to be an escapist detective or romance story.

Authors make promises to readers and then must deliver on them because readers are not simply empty vessels awaiting for the author to impart whatever wisdom he or she deems worthy.  Readers are discerning customers who need to be able to trust an author before investing time and money into a book. There are many reasons that readers purchase books, but it is rarely because they think the author is a wonderful person and whatever he or she has to say will be worthy. Most often, they buy books because of a promise made by the author. A promise of genre or character or plot or quality of the writing.

Authors must be sure to keep these promises or risk having their readers shout, “Not this one! Not this one!"