Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 163
May 2, 2021
Tampertrum and other new words
One of my students inadvertently invented a new word this week, and I love it.
It’s a single word to replace “temper tantrum.”
For example:
“Matt had a tampertrum when traitorous Tom Brady left New England for the awful stupid Tampa Bay Buccaneers.”
Pretty great. Right?
I’ll be using this word forever.
Years ago, while watching that same quarterback in Gillette Stadium, I invented a new word of my own:
Truché.
A portmanteau of the the words “true” and “touché.”
This word is used acknowledge that not only was your opponent’s verbal counterattack effective, but it produced in a new level of knowledge or awareness in the process. Not only was your verbal attack effectively beaten back, but you are now wiser or better informed as a result.
My friend, Shep, uses it quite often, much to my delight. Perhaps someday, “tampertrum” and “truché” will enter the dictionary. Unlikely, I know, but words are invented all the time, and many eventually make it to the dictionary.
In 2020, “janky” was added to the dictionary, even though I’ve been using that word for years.
Other words added in 2020 that I adore are “zhuzh,” “ish,” and “nothingburger.”
“Swole” was also added in 2020, proving that stupid words can find their way into the dictionary, too.
May 1, 2021
Resolution update: April 2021
1. Don’t die.
Fully vaccinated. Following CDC guidelines. Wearing a bike helmet. I’m killing it.
2. Lose 20 pounds.
Our NordicTrack exercise bike is now being replaced after forever. Thank goodness.
I can’t quite exercise like I want to since the pandemic has kept me from entering the gym for more than a year and weather, temperature, and darkness has kept me from riding my bike as often as I’d like.
It’s killing me.
I received my email yesterday from NordicTrack with details on my replacement. Finally.
That said, I’ve lost 6 pounds so far.
It should be more.
3. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week.
Done.
4. Cycle for at least 5 days every week.
I was only able to ride my bike for a total of 16 days in April while waiting for parts for our NordicTrack.
5. Set a new personal best in golf.
Several rounds of golf played. I came within one shot of my personal best. No lost balls, so I just needed to land my approach shots better.
WRITING CAREER6. Complete my seventh novel before the end of 2021.
Progress continues. Sending the first four chapters to my agent this weekend. My agent has requested some of the book in order to garner a sale, so I kicked my ass into second gear.
7. Complete “Someday is Today” before the end of 2021.
Progress continues. Due in August so I’d better get my butt moving.
8. Complete “Storyworthy 2” before the end of 2021.
I sent the nearly completed version of this book to my agent for her review. I await word on her thoughts.
9. Write/complete at least three new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist, and one protagonist who is not neurotypical.
I began writing my first picture book of 2021. Nearly finished.
10. Write 40,000 words of a memoir.
Progress! Nearly 6,000 words written!
11. Write a new screenplay.
No progress.
12. Write a solo show.
Work continued in earnest. I didn’t meet with my collaborators in March or April, but it’s simply because I’m making solid progress and want to wait until I stall out to meet with them.
13. Write a musical.
Work continues. Slowly.
14. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.
No progress.
15. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.
No progress. I am told, however. that Lavar Burton has a podcast where he reads speculative fiction.
I may submit something there.
16. Select two behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.
No progress. I still need to write about my experiences with ASMR and my reading of 50 Shades of Gray from last year.
If you have suggestions on something I should try or adopt, please let me know.
17. Increase my newsletter subscriber base to 6,000 (from 4,497).
I added 48 subscribers in April for a total of 4,746.
If you’d like to sign up for my newsletter, you can do so here:
18. Send a newsletter to readers at least 25 times (every other week).
Three newsletters sent in April.
Nine newsletters so far.
Still on pace to hit my goal.
19. Write at least six letters to my father.
Two letters in total in 2021.
20. Write 100 letters in 2021.
Eight letters written and sent in April. Two to authors who I don’t know but adore. Six to students.
A total of 25 so far in 2021.
21. Convert 365 Days of Elysha into a book.
No progress.
22. Complete and release my limited episode podcast on “Twenty-One Truths About Love.”
DONE. Completed and published. You can listen to the five episode series in the Speak Up Storytelling feed.
STORYTELLING/SPEAKING CAREER23. Produce a total of 6 Speak Up storytelling events.
Elysha and I produced our third show of 2021 on April 24. We have another show scheduled for June 5.
We’ve also partnered with The Hill-stead Museum in Farmington, CT for our first live show in more than a year, outdoors.
August 18 with an August 19 rain date.
24. Pitch myself to at least 3 upcoming TEDx events with the hopes of being accepted by one.
TEDx conferences for the fall of 2021 are now opening up. Pitching will commence.
I will be speaking at TEDx Berkshires on July 24.
25. Pitch myself to Master Class at least three times in 2021.
No progress.
26. Attend at least 5 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.
Done! I attended one Moth StorySLAM in April, bringing my total to 5 events in 2021.
Boy do I miss the live shows.
27. Win at least one Moth StorySLAM.
DONE! I won my 51st Moth StorySLAM in February. Certainly not the same as a live, onstage StorySLAM, but it’s always an honor to tell a story to an audience of any kind.
28. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.
I did not win my March Moth GrandSLAM, but I did very well. I was forced to perform first, which limited my chances of winning considerably.
I’ve won Moth StorySLAMs from first position, but I’ve never won a Moth GrandSLAM, nor have I seen anyone win a GrandSLAM, from first position.
Hopefully I’ll get at least one more chance this year depending on the backlog of storytellers in The Moth’s queue.
29. Produce at least 25 episodes of our podcast Speak Up Storytelling.
Two episodes produced in April. A total of 13 episodes so far in 2021. Still ahead of schedule.
30. Perform stand-up at least 3 times in 2021.
No progress.
31. Pitch at least three stories to This American Life.
No progress.
32. Pitch myself to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast at least three times.
No progress.
33. Produce at least 12 new videos for my YouTube channel in 2021.
No videos produced in April. One video so far in 2021.
34. Explore a means of producing my storytelling instruction asynchronously for an online platform.
DONE! Partners found. Contracts signed. We are on our way!
HOME35. Print, hang, and/or display at least 25 prints, photos, or portraits in our home.
This has very much become an Elysha job, so my job is to nag her about getting it done. I have so many incredible prints given to me by Elysha that remain sitting in a box.
Kind of killing me.
But on a positive note, two of the main rooms where most of this material will be hung has now been freshly painted.
36. Assemble an emergency preparedness kit.
I purchased survival straws that make contaminated water safe to drink in January.
That is all.
I still have a long way to go.
37. Clear the basement.
Several items removed every week in April along with trash pickup. Also several new items added.
Incrementalism at work.
FAMILY/FRIENDS38. Call brother or sister once per week.
No calls in April. I did start reading my sister’s novel, though.
I am a terrible brother.
39. Take at least one photo of my children every day.
Done.
40. Take at least one photo with Elysha and myself each week.
No photos taken of Elysha and myself in April.
I’m really failing at this goal so far.
41. Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.
No progress, but an online reunion feels quite doable now.
42. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about physical appearance of any person save my wife and children, in 2021 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall.
Done.
I had an awkward moment when someone I know well asked me about the physical appearance of another person, and I had to explain my policy to that person, thus making that person feel bad for making such comments in the first place.
But this is the purpose of the policy:
Push back on our culture’s obsession with appearance.
43. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2021.
I surprised Elysha once in January by sending flowers to her while at work on her birthday. They were reportedly some of the best flowers she has ever received.
I surprised Elysha with a Pusheen knit hat in February. It was actually a replacement hat after the one I purchased for her birthday did not fit.
Two surprises so far in 2021.
44. Play poker at least six times in 2021.
My April poker game was cancelled due to a lack of players.
Two games so far in 2021.
I can’t wait to play live poker again.
45. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 30 years.
We missed our chance during April vacation to see each other. We have a wedding in May that we will DJ together, but we need to do a much better job of this.
NEW PROJECTS46. Play music in class.
Music took a bit of a nose dive in April, simply because it fell off my radar.
This is the purpose of these goals:
Remind me of what the hell I’m supposed to be doing.
May will be better.
47. Learn to play the piano by practicing at least three times a week.
Done.
I averaged a little more than 3 days of practice per week in April.
48. Convert our wedding video to a transferable format.
Efforts were made again. Progress was still zilch. I’m going to need a professional of some kind to assist. I can’t get the file extracted from this 18 year-old Mac.
Know anyone a person or company that specializes in this sort of thing?
49. Memorize 5 new poems.
I’ve memorized “The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost. Admittedly I knew more than half of it before I began, and I will continue to need to reinforce it before I am sure that it’s committed to memory for good, but it’s essentially done.
I’m still working on “In Flander’s Field” by John McCrae. Nearly done.
50. Write to at least 3 colleges about why they should hire me.
No progress.
51. Understand Instagram better.
No progress.
52. Complete my Eagle Scout project.
No progress.
53. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog and social media on the first day of every month.
Done.
April 30, 2021
Gender reveal parties are getting really stupid and are incorrectly named
Last week, residents of several New Hampshire towns were startled by a blast that rattled homes and could be heard for miles. Windows cracked. Objects fell from shelves. Foundations cracked.
Earthquake? That’s what many suspected.
But no. Gender reveal party.
A man detonates 80 pounds of Tannerite, an over-the-counter, highly explosive substance typically used for firearms practice in order to indicate to his friends and family that his future progeny will be a boy.
Also that his father is an idiot.
Tannerite sells a gender-reveal “target” that contains just 1 pound of the explosive, along with pink or blue chalk powder.
Shoot the target. Reveal the gender.
Or purchase 80 times as much and damage homes for miles around.
Could we please bring an end to gender reveal parties, at least when they involve explosives and fire? Could we stop being extra special stupid when it comes to revealing the sex of our future children?
Last month, two people died after a plane involved in a gender-reveal stunt crashed into water. In February, a 28-year-old New York man was killed when a device he was building for his baby’s gender-reveal party exploded. In 2019, a soon-to-be grandmother died in Iowa when a gender-reveal device exploded and sent shrapnel flying. That same year, an airplane crashed in Texas after the pilot dumped about 350 gallons of pink water.
Pyrotechnic gender reveals also have sparked massive, deadly wildfires that have consumed tens of thousands of acres of forest and killed firefighters.
It’s getting ridiculous.
And I get it. These parents desperately need the attention that these increasingly Instagrammable-worthy moments provide. Just imagine the number of likes and little heart emojis that one could fleetingly enjoy for a day or two with their photo of a blue or pink explosion before being replaced by someone else’s maple glazed pork chop or tanned feet propped up on the beach.
This stuff matters. I know.
Or maybe do what Elysha and I did and don’t find out the sex before your baby is actually born. Allow that moment of birth to be a surprise.
I cannot recommend it enough.
As Elysha once said, you don’t get many chances to experience a true, life altering surprise in this life. Discovering the sex of your child is one of them, so make it last. Don’t find out the sex of your baby from some doctor or ultrasound technician months before. Wait. Wonder. Speculate. Make your friends and family crazy. Be patient. Delay gratification for once in your life.
Patience is an eroding skill these days. The ability to delay gratification is becoming harder and harder for many people.
But you’re better than that. You’re better than those people who damage homes because they can’t wait six months to tell their loved ones that it’s a boy.
Kick it old school. Wait until the moment that baby emerges into the world for the first time to discover the sex.
Years later, I can still hear the doctors saying, “It’s a girl” and “It’s a boy.” I can still remember those moments with perfect clarity. Moments I’ll never forget. Moments well worth the wait.
Moments that didn’t include pink or blue cakes, prop planes, or shrapnel.
Also, can we please acknowledge what these gender reveal parties really are (besides a desperate, cloying attempt at meaningless attention)?
Sex reveal parties.
Your pink or blue earthquake is only revealing the sex of your baby.
Your child will reveal their gender to you at a much later date.
April 29, 2021
Share your stuff with the world.
I’ve written before about the unexpected surprises that can happen when you put things into the world.
In the past, readers of my blog and books and followers on social media have done some amazing things on my behalf.
My search for my hazily-remember first book ever borrowed from a library culminated in a librarian identifying the book and sending a copy to me.
My goal to convert a blog a I’d written over the course of the first five years of my children’s lives – letters to them every day – resulted in a friend and storyteller taking on this behemoth task herself out of the kindness of her heart, producing five enormous, beautiful tomes of writing and images that my children read constantly.
In the course of writing and speaking, I’ve been reconnected with my elementary school principal, my high school vice principal, and the teacher who taught me to tie my shoes in kindergarten.
I’ve heard from comedian Kevin Hart, a senior strategist from the Hillary Clinton Presidential campaign, and the girlfriend of one of the Blackstone snipers, a man who fired bullets into the homes of 11 random victims when I was a teenager, wounding four and resulting in the National Guard patrolling our streets for a period of time.
She saw the post recalling that time in my life and wrote to me, complaining about my disparaging remarks about her boyfriend, who had been paroled after and was turning his life around.
You simply never know what might come your way.
This week, I added three more people to this list.
On Monday, I posted a newly discovered photo of my mother’s class from 1963 on my blog and social media. A couple hours later, Facebook friend Pamela Frohboese McDill had downloaded an AI app called Remini that enhances photos in order to crop out and enhance the image of my mother from the photo.
Suddenly I could see the 13 year-old version of my mother with much greater clarity. What a wonderful and unexpected gift.
Much earlier that morning, well before the sun appeared in the horizon, I was interviewed by an ordained priest in England for his podcast on leadership. During the interview, I learned that he had received my book Storyworthy from his bishop, who had given it to all of his vicars as an Easter gift.
It’s so strange and so wonderful to hear that my book and my teaching have infiltrated the Church of England.
Infiltrated might not be the right word.
Also, it turns out that Monday was National Tell a Story Day.
You’d think I would’ve known about this.
Over the course of the day, podcast listeners, blog subscribers, and Instagram and Facebook friends reached out to me, telling me their own unprompted stories, sending me photos of their stacks of Storyworthy in their corporate offices, and asking my why the hell I didn’t know that it was National Tell a Story Day.
Fair question, though they didn’t need to sound so annoyed about my failure to recognize the day.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again:
Put things into the world. Words, art, music… whatever is your jam.
Publish your recipe for whiskey peppermint brownies. Share a photo of your Nancy Pelosi cross stitch. Post the video of your cat doing that cute or awful thing.
Put stuff into the world. You simply never know what or who might come back to you:
Old friends. Helpful souls. Angry girlfriends of convicted felons. Ordained priests. World famous comedians. Snarky storytellers who should realize that National Tell a Story isn’t exactly a federal or nationally recognized holiday.
But I added it to my calendar for next year.
There really is no telling what might come from the simple act of sharing, and that is the beauty of the thing.
The internet has made the world a much smaller, more connected place. That has turned out to be terrible in many ways, but it can also be quite beautiful.
April 28, 2021
To be known is best of all.
I love this text message from my friend, David, not because he apologized to me, and not because he thinks my pages or excellent.
The apology was not required, In fact, I was surprised he took the time to apologize at all. He knows better.
And hearing my pages were excellent was lovely, but when I send him something to read or ask him to listen to a story, I’m seeking ways to make it better more than any praise for what I’ve already done.
In fact, David and I first met because his wife – a high school friend of Elysha – dragged him to a rock opera that my friend, Andy, and I had written and produced years ago. David was pleasantly surprised to discover that the show wasn’t bad. He genuinely enjoyed it. At the end of the performance, we met for the first time on the edge of the stage as the audience filed out.
Less than a minute after shaking my hand, he was offering me three notes on the show that were all brilliant.
When I took his notes to are director, he agreed.
We’ve been friends ever since.
No, the reason I love this text message is because it’s a reminder that David knows me. He understands my desire for honest, constructive feedback, and he’s keenly aware of my ability to receive criticism absent the sensitivity that many rightly require.
Recently, someone accused me of being more fragile than I want people to think.
“You can’t possibly care about (his) opinion as little as you say,” she said. “You want people to think you don’t care, but I know you do.”
“Whatever,” I replied, not really caring about her opinion either.
But I wasn’t annoyed by this woman’s opinion because she doesn’t know me like my close friends do, and that’s why I enjoyed this text message so much.
It’s a beautiful thing to be known and understood by your friends.
David has given me some of the most important, succinct, critiques of my work over the years. His notes have transformed my musicals, solo shows, and novels significantly. He’s had an enormously positive influence on my creative career.
But the thing I treasure most is how well he knows me. Understands me.
I suspect that this is one of the reasons I stand on so many stages and tell so many stories about my life:
To be known. To be understood. For audiences to see me for who I am.
When I get a text message like this, I know I’ve achieved this goal.
April 27, 2021
Joyous dancing and a lot of confidence
Charlie is here to remind us that dancing is 98% attitude and 2% skill.
Just own it. Even without any music playing, just own it.
I once saw a man dance to Van Morrison’s “Bright Side of the Road” at a wedding with so much joy that it made my heart sing. It still makes my heart sing, a decade or two later, just thinking about it. As a wedding DJ, I have spent the past 24 years watching people dance, but that man, dancing to that song on that night, stands above all of them.
He wasn’t a good dancer. He was a joyous dancer. The most joyous dancer I’ve ever seen.
I’ll never forget it.
I’ve been making a similar argument about certain forms of public speaking. If you’re trying to be funny, if you’re supposed to be the expert in the room, or if you’re trying to change minds, win an argument, or teach a lesson, confidence is a supremely powerful quality that can make all the difference.
It can transform average content into excellent content. It can cover up mistakes, make amusing things genuinely hilarious, and even inspire an audience regardless of the quality of the ideas.
I was going to refer to it as a magic elixir, but confidence can’t be acquired that easily. It cannot be offered via draught, and sadly, it can’t be taught. It must be earned through doing hard, scary things and succeeding again and again.
Even then, it can be elusive for many.
But dancing joyously? Dancing like no one is watching, even when they are watching?
I think we can all do that. And it will absolutely make you feel great.
April 26, 2021
Susan Mandeville: 1963
My aunt sent me this photo from 1963. She found it on the website of an elementary school classmate.
The girl in the front row with the striped skirt is my mother. She was 13 years old when this photo was taken.
Mom would be 71 if she were alive today. She passed away back in 2007.
I don’t have any other photos of my mother from when she was young. This is my one and only.
Seeing the photo is like opening a window in time, allowing me to peek into a day when the world was so different in so many ways, yet school children stood on the steps of schoolhouses to take class photos like they still do today.
Some things thankfully never change.
I can’t help but wonder what Mom’s life was like back then. Who in the photo were her friends? How did she spend her afternoons? What were her favorite subjects in school? What dreams did she have for her future?
I’m glad she’s smiling. It’s a good way to see her. A good way to remember her. She looks so happy, even if just for a moment.
Mom probably received this class photo a few weeks after it was taken. She probably stared at it for a minute or two, looking at herself and her friends, laughing over someone’s goofy look, then eventually lost it.
It meant little at the time to a 13 year-old girl, I suspect. Most class photos ultimately get lost in the shuffle of life.
Little did Mom know how much this photo would mean to a man 57 years later as he peered closely at the girl in the front row with a striped skirt who would become his mother just eight years after this photo was taken.
The blink of an eye, really.
We don’t have time travel yet, which is a damn shame. Until then, I’ll be happy when photos like this resurface, giving me a fresh moment with a mother who died so very young and is so very missed ever day.
April 25, 2021
Lots of things, but really just one thing
Big day yesterday!
Nearly finished assembling all of our tax documents for the accountant.
Watched Charlie smack the ball in baseball practice.
Cleaned cat puke off my sneaker before putting it on my foot.
Wrote two chapters of the new novel and received an excellent bit of advice from my friend, David, that will make the opening chapters of the book supremely better.
Rode 15 miles on my bike.
Outlined the modules that will eventually become the asynchronous storytelling program that I am developing with a partner.
Read the entire Wikipedia entry on the Suez Canal after learning that Egypt blockaded the canal for 7 years following the Six-Day War to prevent Israel from making use of the it. The blockade was achieved by trapping fifteen cargo ships, known as the “Yellow Fleet,” in the canal.
Searched for a book on the history of the Suez Canal on audio and found none. Searched for a book on the subject in paper and found my choices surprisingly disappointing.
Thought about writing the definitive history of the Suez Canal then realized how difficult that would be.
Found videos of a cat sleeping and a rooster crowing until it passes out that made my family laugh.
Attended a board meeting for a Canadian company that I advise.
Cleaned cat puke off the dining room floor.
Produced and performed in our second annual fundraising storytelling show, virtually, for my school.
Forgot to eat dinner so ate a bowl of Special K with Elysha at 9:30 PM.
But best of all:
Washed and folded 5 loads of laundry which included – brace yourselves – three fitted sheets that I folded BY MYSELF that ended up looking like this.
And yes, all of this was simply a means of bragging about my fitted sheet folding.
April 24, 2021
Look at the red. Climate change is real.
Astoundingly, there are still many climate change deniers in this world.
One must assume these people are either unavoidably stupid, willfully ignorant, or purposefully dishonest.
Quite possibly all three.
Either way, they are dangerous to humanity and our planet, particularly when they possess political power. The Pentagon recently declared climate change a “national security issue,” yet there are still many legislators – particularly from one side of the aisle – who prevent our country from taking action on what has become a true climate emergency.
While speaking to Congress this week, activist Greta Thunberg warned that today’s youth would not forgive denialism and inaction. “You get away with it now,” the 18-year-old activist said, “but sooner or later, people are going to realize what you have been doing all this time. That’s inevitable.”
She added, “We, the young people, are the ones who are going to write about you in the history books. So my advice for you is to choose wisely.”
For those who still deny climate change, I’ve seen nothing more compelling than this graphic, which indicates annual temperatures in the United States – broken down into rolling 30-year increments – compared to the 20th century average temperature.
It’s hard to imagine how any climate change denier could look at data like this and still claim that climate change is not real.
Yet they would and still do.
Mostly because they like money more than our planet and our future.
April 23, 2021
Must-see Taylor Pierce
Perhaps you are already aware of Taylor Pierce, but I just discovered her this week, and after showing Elysha some of her videos on Wednesday, she has apparently become even more obsessed with her than I.
With good reason. Pierce is astounding.
I love her artistry, her unbelievable skill, the intelligence of her design, and the overwhelming charisma that she exudes, but when I watch something like this, the thing I think about most is the amount of time, determination, persistence, and grit required to develop skills like these and produce content this masterful and transformational.
The beauty, awe, and dare I say perfection of these performances required relentlessly hard work.
Nothing impresses me more.
There are few things in this world that I appreciate more than witnessing the results of someone who has fully dedicated themselves to a pursuit and produced something extraordinary.
Taylor Pierce has done just that.
You can find her on TikTok and IG @taylor_thatdancer
