Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 164

The flow of federal tax dollars

I listened to Republican Senator John Kennedy of Louisiana claim last week that states run by Democrats are “nanny states.” In response to the Democrats proposal that the corporate tax rate be raised to pay for the infrastructure bill, Kennedy accused blue states of “constantly looking for a handout.”

I really, really wish that I had been standing within earshot of Kennedy when he made these ridiculous claims. Had I been nearby, I would’ve reminded Kennedy that:

The 10 most federally dependent states in our country are red states, including Louisiana.

Seven of the 10 least federally dependent states in our country are blue states.

Mississippi, for example, receives $2.13 for every tax dollar the state sent to Washington, according to a Rockefeller study. West Virginia receives $2.07, Kentucky gets $1.90 and South Carolina gets $1.71.

Meanwhile, New Jersey receives 74 cents in federal spending for tax every dollar the state sent to Washington. New York receives 81 cents, Connecticut receives 82 cents, Massachusetts receives 83 cents, and California receives 96 cents.

Federal tax dollars tend to flow from blue states to red states. 18 cents of every tax dollar that I pay in Connecticut ends up outside Connecticut, and almost certainly in a red state.

Blue states are nanny states? I don’t think so.

Red states also have:

The most teen pregnancies
The lowest median income
The fewest number of insured people
The lowest life expectancy
The highest rate of welfare usage.

This is not a criticism of residents of red states. I am simply pointing out that in general, red states depend on federal tax dollars far more than blue states, but even with this additional tax money, residents in these states are still not benefiting from the same quality of life that Americans in blue states are experiencing.

Perhaps Kennedy should be focused more on the quality of life of his constituents and spend less time criticizing those states that are funding the livelihoods of his constituents.

I really hate that guy.

Thanks to all who make this possible.

This is post number 6,509.

Nearly 18 years of blog posts without missing a day.

A lot goes into writing something every single day for nearly 18 years.

Persistence.
Determination.
A love of writing.
The desperate need to be heard.
A wackadoodle mind capable of thinking of something to say every day.
The arrogance to believe that I have something worthy of expressing every day.
The willingness to scream into the void at times, regardless of who might be listening.
A stubborn relentlessness in the face of those who would silence me through cowardice and lies.

But it also required the assistance of others. Many others.

The thousands of readers who tune in every day, reading my work on my blog, via a daily newsletter, or on social media.

The endless stream of people who ask me questions, send me things to read and watch, challenge my beliefs, rail against my assertions, call me terrible names, and share my work with others.

But also a small band of heroes who help me every day by noting typos, bits of grammatical clutter, factual faux pas, spelling errors, and the like.

I despise typos. I hate them with a deep and ever-burning passion. I read every post that I write at least three times, hoping to catch them all. Tragically, the human mind is perfectly capable of reading a mistaken “me” as an intended “my” without ever noticing the error.

And because I am writing every single day, oftentimes in response to an event in real time, I don’t have the opportunity to farm out my posts to others for editorial input. Instead, I have the kindness of readers to assist me. People who read early and often and help me fix my tragic blunders for the majority of my readers who dig in later on.

The most consistent and amusing of these kind souls is a husband and wife team, Kate and Casey, who read my posts independently of each other but who both send me Facebook or text messages alerting me to a mistake. Sometimes one finds the mistake first, but before I can correct it, the other fires off a text alerting me to the same mistake. Sometimes one person finds one error, then the other person finds a different error.

Best of all, they always alert me of my errors with great affection and cheer, oftentimes offering an empathetic comment alongside the indication of the error.

My goal is to avoid hearing from them entirely. No messages from this couple means I have avoided the dreaded typo for another day.

Sadly, I rarely go a day or two without one or both popping in with a correction.

I once went almost two weeks without hearing from either one of them.

Two weeks without a typo. Those were good days.

But it’s pretty remarkable what people will do for you out of the kindness of their hearts. Over the years, untold numbers of people have contributed to this daily grind, offering me possible topics, support, feedback, criticism, promotion, praise, and in the case of one married couple, almost daily editorial assistance.

It really does take a village.

I wonder if I’ll be hearing from Kate or Casey today… I hope not.

Scientists kicking ass

In case you haven’t heard, NASA’s Ingenuity helicopter became the first powered vehicle to take flight on another planet when it ascended from the Martian soil yesterday.

It flew for about 30 seconds before landing safely.

I think it’s important to remember that just 118 years ago, the Wright Brothers became the first humans on Earth to take flight in a powered vehicle in Kitty Hawk, North Carolina.

In less than two lifetimes, human beings have gone from not being able to fly to being able to fly an aircraft on another planet.

It’s astounding.

Imagine telling Orville and Wilbur Wright after their famous 12 second flight that early in the next century, human beings would be flying aircraft on Mars.

Also, that aircraft would contain pieces from their first airplane in honor of their first flight.

They probably wouldn’t have believed it.

It’s a good reminder about the pace of progress and capacity for human invention. In the 118 years since that first flight, human beings have turned flying into everyday affair, much akin to taking a bus or a train. We’ve landed astronauts on the Moon, landed remote vehicles on other planets, and sent spaceships beyond the solar system.

All of that in less than two human lifetimes. Actually, less than one human lifetime if you count Japan’s Kane Tanaka, who turned 118 earlier this year.

It’s incredible. Despite our persistent, self-destructive unwillingness to properly fund scientific research and the willful stupidity of so many Americans to distrust and ignore science, scientists have changed our world in endlessly incredible ways.

Last January, before many of us had even heard of the coronavirus, scientists at Moderna had already developed their vaccine for COVID-19.

It took just two days.

The delay between invention and distribution was the result of the need for testing and manufacturing of the vaccine, but instead of the 10-15 years that it has normally taken to develop a vaccine, this one was invented in less than 48 hours thanks to a new platform for vaccine development.

This pandemic will be brought to an end thanks to science. Despite the stupidity of certain segments of the American population who are unwilling to become vaccinated for very stupid reasons, vaccines will eventually end COVID-19 and return normalcy to our planet again.

Scientists will end COVID-19.

Scientists kicked ass. They’re kicking ass every damn day.

Yesterday, 3.2 million doses of the COVID-19 vaccine were put into the arms of Americans.

Also, NASA also flew a powered vehicle on Mars.

We live in an amazing world.

Let’s not take it for granted.

Beautiful packaging begone!

I’m done with beautiful packaging.

Last week, I listened to a podcast host talk about Lord Jones:

“The world’s finest CBD products. You’ll get to see their products and their beautiful packaging…”

Beautiful packaging?

I hear people speak about Apple’s packaging the same lofty way, as if the 22 seconds that I spend opening my new iPhone will somehow enhance the next 88,300,800 seconds (the average life of an iPhone) that I will spend using the product.

Some people really believe it will. One prominent design blog claimed that “Apple is an acknowledged master at creating an iconic sensory experience that communicates its brand without any words or even a logo.”

Iconic sensory experience?

Sex is an iconic sensory experience. A white box is a white box.

So please, stop with the packaging. Stop with the upscale rustic bags and hand-spun twine and golden-hinged boxes. Stop with the mason jars and silk ribbons and Amazonian teak. And please especially stop with the environmentally unfriendly, cost prohibitive packaging.

I don’t want to pay more for my widget because it was wrapped in organic seaweed.

In fact, I want the opposite. I want cheap, biodegradable packaging. I want actively biodegrading packaging. I want my packaging to fall apart in my hands. I want an old paper bag that once held a ham and cheese sandwich and some Oreos but now contains my new kitchen thermometer.

If your packaging is part of your sales pitch, your product sucks or you suck. Or maybe you both suck.

Sell me the thing. Not the thing containing the thing.

We need a little less preciousness in this world. Less pretension. Less gravitas. Stop gilding the lily and just give me the damn lily. Consumers want more confidence in the products being sold and less emphasis on the finery surrounding them.

Also, for the record, this packaging doesn’t look very special to me.

Not so bad after all

I worry about a lot of things when it comes to the pandemic, but one of the more insidious concerns of late has been the welfare of my children.

You only get to be a child for a short period of your life, and now, with the coronavirus cancelling the Little League season, dance recitals, vacations, field trips, play dates, afternoons at the playground, traditional schooling, and so much more, I find myself worrying that these important, precious childhood days are being lost forever.

Last week Elysha and I took the kids to the park. We avoided the playground equipment, of course, and kept our distance from others. Instead, we walked around the pond and tossed rocks into the water. After making a complete circuit of the trails, the kids asked if they could run in the field.

“Of course,” I said, and they were off, running and jumping and giggling for far longer than I would’ve expected. Eventually they plopped themselves down into the grass about 50 feet away and began pointing at the sky and laughing uncontrollably.

It took me a moment to realize what they were doing:

Finding shapes in the clouds. Hilariously so. At one point, I heard Charlie say, “That one looks like it’s pooping out an asteroid!”

After about 20 minutes of cloud watching, I called to them, telling them it was time to go.

They protested. “Please… just a little while longer!”

We acquiesced, of course, then watched as they continued to point and giggle and roll around on the grass.

Finally, we were able to pry them away from the field and clouds and made our way back tot he car.

As we climbed inside, Clara said, “This was the best day of the whole year!”

Charlie chimed in with agreement.

Clara didn’t say, “This was the best day since we started social distancing.”

She didn’t say, “This was the best day since the coronavirus arrived.”

She didn’t say, “This was the best day in the past month.”

She said, “This was the best day of the whole year.”

“The whole year?” I asked. “January first through today?”

“Yup,” she said. “I loved today.”

Just like that, my concerns over lost childhood days were gone. An enormous weight was lifted from my shoulders.

My kids are young. They still love running in fields and staring at clouds. Nothing makes them happier than wrestling with their father and snuggling with their mother. They could throw stones in water all day long. They still love drawing and playing with toys and eating mango and listening to Hamilton.

My kids are fine. Happy, even., Yes, they’d love to be able to play with the neighbors, and yes, they miss their teachers and classmates, and yes, it would be nice if we were departing for Niagara Falls today as originally planned, but it turns out that they don’t need any of those things to be happy.

I had to agree with Clara. It might’ve been the best day of the whole year.

You don't like sleep

Yesterday I played the Unpopular Onion Game, listing 10 things that I don’t like but many people do.

In addition to some much appreciated support for items like pickles, sushi, and Will Ferrell’s comedy, I also received lot of questions about some of the items on the list.

I’ll do my best to answer some of those questions and explain myself in upcoming posts.

But today I’d like to address one item on the list that baffled many people:

My hatred of sleep.

I’d like to propose that perhaps you don’t like sleep very much, either.

Yes, you may enjoy lying in a soft bed under warm blankets. It may feel great to allow your muscles to enter a state of relaxation. Resting your head on your pillow might seem heavenly. You probably adore the feeling of blissful restfulness upon awakening each morning.

You may even adore lying beside a certain someone while you are in bed.

I understand all of this. I might not enjoy any of these things nearly as much as you do (though lying beside Elysha is quite appealing), but I can’t argue with the positive feelings associated with any of them.

I get it.

I’m still not a big fan in the same way a massage, a spa day, or lounging poolside don’t appeal to me either, but I can at least understand why you might like these things.

But none of this is sleep.

Sleep is an unconscious state required for your body and brain to repair, restore, and reenergize. It’s a state of being that almost always lacks any self-awareness. Unless you are lucidly dreaming, which is rare, you’re not actually conscious while you sleep. You may dream for certain periods of this otherwise unconscious state, but as you well know, these dreams are fleeting, almost always forgotten, and beyond our conscious control.

When we sleep, we are completely unaware of ourselves and our surroundings. I could enter your bedroom, eat a hot dog, do 100 push-ups, and exit without you ever being aware of my presence. Some people (like my daughter) fall into such a deep state of sleep that they can sleep through noise and disruption of almost any kind. Their limbs can be manipulated without any awareness on their part.

My daughter is nearly puppet-like while she sleeps.

Even if this isn’t the case for you, most of us often awaken in a position that is different than when we fell asleep but have no recollection of moving.

People often express a desire to die in their sleep, not because they would be any less dead, but because if we must die, most people would prefer to slip from the temporary unconsciousness of sleep to the permanent unconsciousness of death, since the two are so similar to our unconscious brains.

Sleep and death are a hell of a lot alike.

Keeping all of this in mind, I’d like to propose that when people declare their love for sleep, they are actually declaring their love for the period of time spent in bed just before and just after sleep, but that sleep itself is a difficult process to love since it requires you to be unconscious for its duration.

Yes, sleep might make you feel better and prepare you for the day, but if you could retain all of the appeal of that time just before and just after sleep while only requiring 30 minutes of actual slumber each night to feel rested and refreshed, wouldn’t you take that deal in a heartbeat?

Sleep for just 30 minutes. Enjoy all the benefits of sleeping for 8 hours.

If you could actually do this, the world would declare you a superhero.

If you invented a pill that allowed people to feel this way, you would be wealthy beyond your imagination.

You still get to climb into a warm and cozy bed. You still get to rest your head on your pillow. You can still enjoy the bliss associated with lying prone under the warmth of a blanket. All of that remains the same. The only difference is the unconscious state of sleep only needs to last 30 minutes in order to remain healthy.

If you’d take my deal, then it’s not the sleep that you enjoy. It’s the rituals before and after sleep that you adore, and those rituals are very different than actual sleep, because they only take a fraction of the time that actual sleep requires.

I don’t particularly love the rituals that happen before and after sleep, but I don’t necessarily hate them, either, because they don’t take too long. They don’t consume too much of my day.

I hate sleep because it wastes my time. A lot of my time. About a quarter of my life. And I have many, many things that I want to accomplish and value my time spent doing things more than I value my time spent resting.

I would choose consciousness over unconsciousness every time.

That is why I hate sleep.

And I suspect that you don’t like it very much, either. Right?

The Unpopular Onion Game

10 Things Other People Seem to Love that I Truly Dislike

Pickles

Wes Anderson films

Steely Dan

Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade

The Big Bang Theory

Candy Crush

Sleep

Alcohol

Sushi

Will Ferrell’s comedy

Never Have I Ever

Several weeks ago, back when the world was still normal, a popular meme went around on social media called “Never Have I Ever.” The goal of the game was to give yourself a point for every item on the list that you had never done.

Here’s the list.

It was a good premise, but I didn’t think the list was constructed very well. Being the author of a novel written entirely in lists, I like to think that I’m a bit of an expert on the subject.

I scored a 5 in the game. The things I had never done included:

Done drugs

Gotten a tattoo

Smoked

Gotten a piercing

Been skydiving

A 5 seemed like a low number, but in talking with friends, most people scored between 4-6 points.

That’s no fun.

I thought it would be more fun to create a list of things that were less probable but still possible, so I spent some time creating a list of things that I’ve done in my life that most people have not.

Behold! My own “Never Have I Ever” list. I’ve done each and every item on the list at least once, so my score is zero.

What would your score be?

Been arrested and put on trial for a crime you didn’t commit

Required CPR from paramedic in order to restore your life (twice, though once is acceptable)

Been lifted from your bed in the middle of the night by firefighters while your house burned

Owned a pet raccoon

Pole vaulted

Evaded police in a high speed chase

Officiated the wedding of your ex-wife’s ex-husband

Assigned someone a permanent nickname that they didn’t want nor appreciated

Been completely naked onstage in front of more than 200 strangers

Robbed a retail establishment

Been suspended from school for “inciting riot upon yourself”

Been photographed for a medical journal after having been infected by a rare disease

Been paid to strip at a bachelorette party

Avoided using a drug of any kind, including tobacco

Egged a teacher’s house

Been homeless for more than a month

Successfully sued the President of the United States

Been robbed st gunpoint

Accidentally left an infant home alone

Competed in illegal, underground arm wresting tournaments

What’s your score?

Now go make your own list. I’d love to see it.

Speak Up Storytelling #92: Monica Malaver

On episode #92 of the Speak Up Storytelling podcast, Elysha Dicks and I talk storytelling!

In our follow up segment, we debut our first bot of content on our Patreon page , announce online workshops and shows, and a weekly free storytelling workshop for families on Facebook Live and YouTube. 

STORYTELLING SHOWS 2020

April 18: Solo show, MOPCO Improv Theater

STORYTELLING WORKSHOPS 2020

April 18: Storytelling workshop (beginner), MOPCO Improv Theater
April 22, 29, May 6, 13, 20, and 27: Advanced storytelling workshop 
July 27-31: Storytelling boot camp, CT Historical Society

In our Homework for Life segment, I talk about combining two moments from your Homework for Life into a single story, as well as being open to the idea that you might still be in the midst of a story.

Next we listen to a story by Monica Malaver.

Amongst the many things we discuss include:

The power of self deprecation

Scene setting

Humor through vulnerability

Connecting the beginning and endings of stories

Avoiding process language 

Next we answer a question about the beginnings of stories. 

Lastly, we each offer a recommendation. 

RECOMMEDATIONS

Elysha:

Guardians of the Galaxy Volumes 1 and 2

Matt:

5 Mistakes When Writing Flashbacks in Memoir

_______________________________________________

Support Speak Up Storytelling through our Patreon page: https://www.patreon.com/speakupstorytelling

Purchase Storyworthy: Engage, Teach, Persuade, and Change Your Life Through the Power of Storytelling: https://amzn.to/2H3YNn3

Purchase Twenty-one Truths About Love: https://amzn.to/35Mz1xS 

Homework for Life: https://bit.ly/2f9ZPne

Matthew Dicks's website: http://www.matthewdicks.com

Matthew Dicks's YouTube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/matthewjohndicks 

Matthew Dicks's blog:
http://www.matthewdicks.com/matthewdicksblog

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Americans need and deserve answers to these questions.

Critical, reasonable, and yet still unanswered questions asked of a President who last week joked about having sex with models and bragged about his popularity on Facebook while discussing the number of Americans who may die as a result of COVID-19.

It is time for all Americans to put aside any partisan support of this failed President and demand answers to these questions from our federal government.