Afton Rorvik's Blog, page 14

Looking Back and Looking Ahead

New Year. New resolutions? New word for the year?

Seems like the start of a new year automatically pulls me into reflection on the past year and speculation about the year ahead. Especially when I walk around the Arboretum.

First, looking back on the past year.

As I walked last week, I realized how much I like my 2014 word: Grateful! So, I’m hanging on to it for 2015. Hope that doesn’t break any rules.

Grateful reminds me of the many gifts in my life, including friends, family, and time to write. It especially reminds me of God, the giver of all good gifts. I feel better, more whole, when I remember these gifts.

So . . . I’m sticking with my word. Grateful!

Second, I also realized on that walk around the Arboretum that I want to take the temperature of my friendships periodically. Thought you might too. Sometimes I get into ruts with relationships. I get too busy to notice when things need to change. Or I fear to own my own voice. You too?

As I begin 2015, I’ve decided to begin every month with a Friendship Checkup blog. I’ll mix stories with a question to help us both think about our friendships.

With so much to read online, I completely understand if you opt for only reading my blog just once a month for the friendship checkup. Do what works best for you.

Know that I love hearing from you when you have the time. See you next week with a Friendship Checkup.

2015 in a Word

Grateful!

That word defined my 2014. I signed most of my book with it. What better way to say how I felt about all the people who became a part of my Storm Sister story? Thank you all!

Now in 2015, I think about picking a new word, something to serve as a guide.

Intentional?

Connected?

Gracious?

But can one word really direct and shape me in 2015?  Not sure.

I do like the idea because I think I can remember one word. 

My friend, Sharla Fritz, wrote a great blog about her word for 2015. You can find it here: http://www.sharlafritz.com/2015/01/my-word-for-2015-focus/

What about you? What word (or words) do you want to define your 2015?

Plugged in Again

Welcome to 2015!

Thanks for understanding my need to unplug for a few weeks.

In early December I began to notice that social media had started to consume more and more of my thought time.

As I sat at an event or conversed with friends, I found myself thinking, I should post this or tweet about this. (It even happened in church!) I seemed to have become an observer of my own life.

Odd.

So I took a break—a social media fast of sorts.

I spent time having coffee with friends, attending Christmas events, going on a family cruise (more about that later this week on my author Facebook page: Aftonrorvik), and reading.

I discovered this simple perspective-giving sentence in Avoid Social Media Time Suck by Frances Caballo (page 67): “Social media is all about nurturing relationships.”

Not about observing my life to tell you about it.

And so as 2015 kicks off (with arctic blasts here in the Midwest), I hope to do social media differently. I want it to become more about us—you, my dear reader, and me. I would love to start a conversation thread and then hear from you. Just like sitting down over a cup of coffee in my living room.

So, for starters, I would love to hear from you about social media.

Any tips for navigating social media? What works best for you? What challenges you?

“Angels We Have Heard on High” with a Twist

At this time of year, I’m sure you have a lot of words flying at you. So rather than bury you with more words, I give you this video. I have watched it over and over. I love the expressions of the faces of the singers. And WOW what harmonies!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teSuDu84kMc&list=PLfWdh4XTtIqnVcLdXTjXzvv_ahtWOC2S7&index=3

May you know the soul-deep glory of Christmas.

I’m signing out now for a few weeks so I can be fully present with the people walking in and out of my front door. I look forward to reconnecting with you in early January.

Grateful!

A Used Car Christmas Celebration

Saturday. Thought the day might end at a Christmas concert. Instead, it ended at a used car dealership. And I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

It all started by saying, “Yes,” something I had just read about that in Chapter Nine of Bob Goff’s book, Love Does: “I used to think you had to be special for God to use you, but now I know you simply need to say yes.”

Kate had texted earlier in the week and asked, “Could I come up and stay with you to look at a car this weekend?”

“Yes! And we’re happy to help you with the car hunt.”

And so Saturday unfolded. First, a not-so-great option with a bumper issue and door handle issue and clutch issue. . . .  Then John and I and Kate regrouped, did some research, had some food (what I always recommend in times of stress), and headed to a used car dealership to look at another option.

We shook hands with the salesman and introduced ourselves. “I’m Kate. “ John and I hesitated a bit. How do we explain our role in this unfolding drama? We’re not parents. Not Aunt and Uncle. Not Grandparents. “We are Kate’s friends.”

That makes me smile.

Kate’s mom was one of my college roommates oh so many years ago. A Storm Sister. When Kate arrived here for college. John and I welcomed her into our home, complete with a nickname: “Kate the Great,” and Kate accepted our dinner invitations and wacky humor and dog who licked her toes.

And so on Saturday we found ourselves sitting together at a used car dealership. We test drove, a car, sat around a table to negotiate, had an inspection done, ate some popcorn. . . .

And I felt soul-happy.

Helping Kate seemed like just a tiny pay-it-forward to someone who befriended me years ago and gifted me with his wisdom, direction, and joy.

God.

“I see. I care. I’m doing something. I’m sending Jesus.”

Christmas.

Dudley Delivers

‘Tis the season for Christmas movies.

I sat down the other day to watch one I had never watched—The Bishop’s Wife.

Did you know that little Debby in this movie also played Zuzu in It’s a Wonderful Life? This little girl, now all grown up, has become a friend. In fact, she endorsed my book.

Let me explain.

Several years ago, I flew out to stay with Karolyn for a few days to work on a book. I had the joy of talking with her about movies and about life and sitting with her to watch It’s a Wonderful Life. If you’re curious about the end result, check out the book: http://www.amazon.com/Celebrating-Its-Wonderful-Life-Message/dp/1618432230.

How amazed and honored I am to call Karolyn friend. I know that so many people around the world feel as I do because Karolyn is gracious, kind, charming, and quick to connect.

So as I watched The Bishop’s Wife, I delighted to see little Karolyn chatting with the angel Dudley (Cary Grant).

What I didn’t expect, however, was the tears that came to my eyes when Dudley started reciting the words of Psalm 23 to Debby: “The Lord is my shepherd. . . .”

For a moment I became a little girl sitting on a floor looking up at Dudley and listening eagerly, hopefully, to profound life-giving, fear-abolishing words.

Join me, would you now, in listening to these amazing, timeless words?

Go to https://www.bible.com/bible/1/psa.23.kjv Then click on the megaphone icon at the top right to hear the words read by Max McLean.

Walking around in Circles

So . . . I finally dragged myself to the gym last week, making my debut at 4:30 one afternoon. I walked in to see masses of college students working out on treadmills, lifting weights, running on the track. . . .  Eek!

At least I have pretty shoes.

I began to walk around the track. But clever-me, I first plugged my headphones into my phone, and pulled up Mozart on my Pandora App. I wonder if these youngsters know I can figure this out?!

As I watched (and felt) these college students fly around me, mother-thoughts crept over me: Are you balancing your exercise with healthy eating? Are you getting enough sleep? Making time for friends?

I wonder if some students had thoughts of their own, such as: Who is this annoying middle-aged woman with the really blue shoes who can’t stay in the inside lane?

I tried to grin and hold my head up and keep walking in circles. Then I started to see.

A young man skipping (!) at the other end of the track. Big grin.

Another young man sitting by the pool below the track and engrossed in deep conversation with a young woman. Not much of a grin.

A woman ahead of me with her arm in a sling. Lots of grimacing.

Each person a story.

Think I’ll come back to the gym. Maybe tomorrow. Something fascinating about going around in circles and feeling all mixed up in the human story.

Thank you, friend, for choosing to be mixed up in my story. Know that I am grateful.

“Every time your name comes up in my prayers, I say, ‘Oh, thank you, God!’ ”  (Philemon 1:4, The Message)

Retreat? Or not.

To withdraw. To draw back.

My dictionary tells me those terms describe the word retreat. But, I wonder, do those words do justice to the weekend I just spent with four college friends? We called our days together a retreat, but we did anything but withdraw from each other.

Guess I’m really thinking of the noun-version of the word.

A place of refuge.

In reality my friends and I drew toward each other by spending time eating together, walking together, making airport runs, laughing, speaking honestly,  listening carefully, and praying for each other.

We focused our time together around three simple questions: What was the high point of your year? What was the low point of your year? How can we pray for you?

Each woman had a voice. And each woman had loving words of earnest prayer fall over her. (At least until Ringo started barking!)

We became a place of refuge for each other: “You can be who you are. Me too. You can say what you need to say. Me too. You can laugh. You can cry. Me too. Together.”

Perhaps you have had a similar weekend with girlfriends.  I would love to hear about it.

Oops!

I did it again! Miscommunicated with a friend. Miscommunicated with my husband. Double-booked myself.

A friend and I have been trying to get together for what seems like weeks. We thought we found a date. I put it on my calendar.

The night before I planned to meet my friend for lunch, I realized that my plans with my friend would keep me from a silly ritual John and I have most Sundays after church. We go to Costco. He buys me a Mocha Freeze. We split a Churro. “The usual.” Then he wanders off and eats samples.

On this particular Saturday night, I realized that I craved hearing my husband say, “Do you want the usual?” We hadn’t had a “usual” Sunday for many weeks. Lots of comings and goings.

Why didn’t I make this connection weeks earlier when I set up the event with my friend? Why didn’t I talk it through with my husband then? Duh. Beats me.

So I sent my friend an email. I began with a dramatic statement: “Lately I feel as if I have been on a bullet train heading no where in particular.” Probably a little overly dramatic, don’t you think?! Then I explained that I needed hubby time and asked if we could reschedule.

I felt awful. And apologized. I seem to be doing that a lot these days.

My friend’s response still amazes me.

She reminded me of words she had read in some book called Storm Sisters about asking for help. She discerned within my muddled email a cry for help, my need to slow down. And have “the usual.” We rescheduled.

I woke up today a new woman. My introverted self has gas. Seems that “the usual” refuels me. As does sitting and reading the Sunday paper and watching a little football (!) with John. And taking a walk. And putting my cell phone on vibrate and moving it to another room. And letting Ringo snuggle on my lap.

Thank you, Storm Sister, for hearing my befuddled cry for help.

Thank you, Storm Sister, for knowing that I all too often try to be everything to everyone.

Thank you, Storm Sister, for knowing that I am an introvert and need to catch my breath after lots of people time.

Thank you, Storm Sister, for staying friends with me when I’m out of whack and in double-booking mode.

Thank you, Storm Sister, for speaking my words back to me when I had forgotten them.

May I return the favor one day when I’m out of this funk?

Accepting the Invitation

This week I found myself up to my eyeballs in stories. What a delightful week!

Some of these stories came from Donald Miller, Glennon Melton, Shauna Neiquist, Scott Hamilton, and Bob Goff in their talks at the Storyline conference I attended with my sister-in-law and her friend Katrina. Others came from discussions with friends and listening around the table at Alpha in my church.

So many glimpses of God gently reaching into human lives to offer his love.

I wish I could tell you all of them. But, for the sake of space, let me focus on two similar stories. The characters in these stories did not know God or want to know him. They depended on alcohol to get them through each day and numb the boredom they felt. One found herself hung over and sitting on a cold bathroom floor. The other found himself drunk and in a church listening to a hymn with words that he couldn’t get out of his mind.

Both sensed an invitation: “I’m here. I care. I would like to help you carry your pain.”

Really? Really.

Their stories began to change, bit by bit, habit by habit, with the help of others. They began to find meaning in life and the courage to follow dreams. They began to open the Bible and discover there more about this one who had invited them to a new way of living. They began to let themselves feel surrounded by the arms of one who cared enough to show up in the middle of a hangover. One who cared enough to invite them to a new way of living.

One who still invites us.

Grateful!