Afton Rorvik's Blog, page 13
March 29, 2015
An Easter Story
Today I offer you a story of Easter unlike most stories you will hear.
I encourage you to grab a cup of coffee, find a comfortable chair, and settle in for a 8-minute listen.
May this story bring alive for you the sacrifice of One who loves you—Jesus.
“Ragman” by Walter Wangerin, Jr. with music by Ken Medema
March 22, 2015
National Goof Off Day
I found it on the Internet so it must be true: March 22 is National Goof Off Day.
Did you celebrate? I hope so
I would be willing to best that most of you couldn’t let yourselves goof off for an entire day. Just too much to do. And too little time. Busy is good, right?
Think about how you would respond to a friend or to a spouse who said, “Hey, let’s both take the day off today and just goof around.”
My day would start with breakfast out. Probably an egg skillet. And then a large coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts. A long walk. Lots of one-on-one conversation. Maybe a trip to an outlet mall. Lots of laughter. . . .
Imagine a day without an agenda. Could you do it?
John and I just talked about the idea over Friday lunch. He proposed, “On our way to see family in Ohio in a few weeks, let’s leave early, stop somewhere on the way, and just goof around.”
“Yes! Yes! Great idea.”
Any relationship benefits from goof-around time, don’t you think? Not my agenda or your agenda. No lists of errands to run or tasks to complete. No heavy topics to discuss.
So, Dear Reader, I offer you a challenge today in honor of National Goof Off Day: Set up some goof-around time with a friend or your spouse this week. Put it on your calendar just like a dentist (!) appointment.
If you need an image to inspire you, maybe this (courtesy of Disney) will help:
http://disneyparks.disney.go.com/blog/2012/03/vintage-walt-disney-world-its-national-goof-off-day/
March 15, 2015
“How Did It Go?”
What are you working on?
Are you pitching an article or story?
How did your pitch go?
These questions filled the air at the recent Redbud Writer’s Guild retreat.
Now that I sit by myself at my desk, I realize that I missed something, maybe a few somethings, at the retreat.
I missed the one-up stories: “So you published one book this year? I published two.”
I missed the social media comparisons: “I have 15,000 Twitter followers. You said you have 100?”
I missed the fake empathy: “Oh, so sorry your pitch to an editor didn’t go well. Mine went so well. She took notes while I pitched my three books.”
Just to clarify—I don’t mind at all that I missed hearing these things.
Instead of hearing them I felt something that lurked behind words—something spoken through kind eyes and nodding heads. Encouragement.
Hanging outside the door where agents and editors met with Redbud members, I heard it.
“How did it go?”
“I think she liked my idea. She was taking notes.”
“Yeah! You have a great story. I’m so glad you’re telling it.”
Sometimes we women can spend so much energy jostling for power and position.
Why not here?
Perhaps the key to the atmosphere at the Redbud Writer’s Retreat lies in this phrase I heard repeatedly: “It is all for Jesus.”
Jesus.
Not competition. Not comparison. Not power-grabbing.
Jesus.
Thank you, Redbuds. Keep reminding me, would you?
March 8, 2015
Let’s . . . Together
“Let’s do it together.”
My mentor and friend Helen deVette spoke those words to me at a dark time in my life. Depression had settled over me although she didn’t know it.
“Let’s do a journaling class together for the women at the college. I can’t do it by myself. Could you help me?”
That word together bought me hope.
Pulled me out of isolation.
Reminded me I had something to offer other people.
Shouted to me that I had a team.
I just had another encounter with this fabulous word.
I just returned from a NJ visit—not exactly a warm-weather get-away, but one of my favorite destinations. Why? My friend’s kitchen sits in NJ.
Linda and I first met in college, a few years (okay, decades!) ago. While her husband dashed off to Europe to deliver a linguistics paper, the two of us sat in her sun-filled kitchen, while the homemade split-pea soup bubbled.
As I let the layers of responsibility and concern begin to peel off my back, I began to realize that depression once again lurked at my door. Winter has been cold and looong here in Illinois. And dark. My “happy” light helps. But lately I have settled into the basement sofa more and more. I know exercise, diet, and connection time would help. But oh, the sofa feels so comfortable.
So as Linda and I sat in her kitchen I found myself putting words to my inner struggle and confessing to her my need to get moving.
“Let’s do it together,” she said without hesitation.
“While you’re here I’ll show you some of my exercise videos. We can do them together. And I’m doing this online program called My Fitness Pal. It really helps me keep on track. https://www.myfitnesspal.com
So for the next few days, between soup and chocolate covered strawberries, we exercised, laughing at ourselves as we tried to keep up with the perky hosts on exercise videos or patting ourselves on the back after we shoveled ourselves out of a driveway full of 8 inches of snow.
At home now I have my copies of the exercise videos, a myfitnesspal account, and a word ringing in my head: Together.
Somehow, today, the winter feels like it just might end.
Hope.
March 1, 2015
Thoughts from The Friendship Factor
I want to tell you about a book I just reread: The Friendship Factor by Alan Loy McGinnis.
In the preface to his second edition McGinnis writes:
“Why would a book about relationships—with many references to the life of Jesus—be of interest to companies such as IBM, Metropolitan Life, and Robertson’s Ready-Mix? As I met high-level executives of such companies at their meetings in many parts of the world, I learned the reason. They told me that human interactions were the single most difficult challenge they faced in their organizations—far more difficult than technological problems. . . .
All the more reason to roll up our sleeves and keep working on our friendships together in these monthly checkups.
This month, I give us all two questions from chapter 2 of The Friendship Factor.
Do you have at least one person nearby whom you can call on in times of personal distress?
Do you have several people whom you can visit with little or not advance warning?
McGinnis goes on to explain that if you answer no to these questions, it could be that you are so busy being busy that you haven’t taken the time to cultivate a few deep friendships.
“The fact of the matter is that one cannot have a profound connection with more than a few people. Time prohibits it. Deep friendship requires cultivation over the years. . . . “
So, Dear Reader, I challenge you as I challenge myself: What do you need to change in your life to make time to cultivate one deep friendship as described above?
And for those of you who answered yes to the questions above, how did you cultivate these kinds of friendships?
If you have never read The Friendship Factor, I highly recommend it. http://www.amazon.com/The-Friendship-Factor-Closer-People/dp/0806635711
March Friendship Checkup
I want to tell you about a book I just reread: The Friendship Factor by Alan Loy McGinnis.
In the preface to his second edition McGinnis writes:
“Why would a book about relationships—with many references to the life of Jesus—be of interest to companies such as IBM, Metropolitan Life, and Robertson’s Ready-Mix? As I met high-level executives of such companies at their meetings in many parts of the world, I learned the reason. They told me that human interactions were the single most difficult challenge they faced in their organizations—far more difficult than technological problems. . . .
All the more reason to roll up our sleeves and keep working on our friendships together in these monthly checkups.
This month, I give us all two questions from chapter 2 of The Friendship Factor.
Do you have at least one person nearby whom you can call on in times of personal distress?
Do you have several people whom you can visit with little or not advance warning?
McGinnis goes on to explain that if you answer no to these questions, it could be that you are so busy being busy that you haven’t taken the time to cultivate a few deep friendships.
“The fact of the matter is that one cannot have a profound connection with more than a few people. Time prohibits it. Deep friendship requires cultivation over the years. . . . “
So, Dear Reader, I challenge you as I challenge myself: What do you need to change in your life to make time to cultivate one deep friendship as described above?
And for those of you who answered yes to the questions above, how did you cultivate these kinds of friendships?
If you have never read The Friendship Factor, I highly recommend it. http://www.amazon.com/The-Friendship-Factor-Closer-People/dp/0806635711
February 22, 2015
Have You Used SOAP?
Every Wednesday morning I sit and talk SOAP with a group of women. I love it!
We’re not talking about laundry detergent or one of those amazing smelling antibacterial soaps or even bar soap that makes you so happy you can’t help but sing in the shower.
Nope. We’re talking about a method of studying my favorite book, the Bible. This method has opened all of our eyes to how the Bible speaks so clearly and thoughtfully to our daily lives. Every week, God speaks to each one of differently through our SOAP. Let me show you my SOAP from a few days ago.
S (Scripture)—“When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, ‘Now go out where it is deep, and let down your net catch some fish’ ” (Luke5:4).
O (Observation)—Jesus pushed Simon to go into deeper water. He did it to help Simon.
A (Application)—I do feel as if Jesus is pushing me into deeper waters with the writing of my book. Honestly, I’m not always sure I want to go. This verse reminds me to follow Jesus’ lead, to listen to His voice, and to trust that voice. I do not need to fear to do what He calls me to do no matter how unusual it seems.
P (Prayer)—Dear Father, thank you for challenging me and providing challenging opportunities for me. Help me not to shrink from them but to embrace them.
Perhaps you have been looking for a different way to study the Bible or perhaps it has been years since you studied it. Or perhaps you have never really spent time studying the Bible.
Consider SOAP.
I would love to hear from you, Dear Readers. What do you think of studying the Bible?
February 15, 2015
I Forgot Valentine’s Day
“But you didn’t make heart-shaped pancakes for breakfast! You have done that every Valentine’s Day since I was little.”
My adolescent daughter looked up at me with sad eyes.
I had completely forgotten.
Truth be told, I had completely forgotten a lot of other things too.
I couldn’t remember my daily routine.
I couldn’t remember what I did for fun.
I couldn’t remember the last time I laughed.
My mother had died just weeks earlier. After being at her bedside as much as I could but being away from my own home for many weeks, I returned to my family in a fog.
That morning, my daughter’s words jolted me. And they pulled me back into life—my life. I loved my family. I loved making breakfast for my kids every morning. I loved leaving them silly cards with their heart-shaped pancakes on Valentine’s Day.
Annalisa’s words helped me see through the fog—just a crack. My fog did not disappear instantly that morning. Grief has its own timeline. But my daughter’s truthful words that morning helped me make a start back into my life.
Many of you, I know, have grieved losses. You have felt the heavy cloak of fog on your brain and heart. Some of you live in this place today.
How did a friend or family member speak words to you that helped you begin to heal? Or, for those of you grieving now, what words do you wish a family member or friend would speak to you?
February 8, 2015
Storm Sister Soundtrack
Thought I’d give you a sneak peak behind the creation of my book.
A few weeks ago, I sat at our public library and listened to new author Margaret Philbrick talk about her book, A Minor. My ears perked up when she mentioned that the Kindle version of her book contains links to the music she writes about and the music she listened to as she wrote. I eagerly downloaded it and now savor the music and the chapters. What a great idea!
As I drove home, I remembered how listening to music so informed the writing of my own book.
In fact, sometimes as I wrote, I found myself moved to tears by the music and had to stop writing.
Many of you know my reputation for loving music by “dead guys.” I mean “really dead guys.” Like centuries-old composers. Mozart, Beethoven, Handel, Bach.
But for my book, I landed on a not-dead guy—Fernando Ortega. He arranges the hymns of the Christian church in beautiful new renditions.
I discovered that after I listened to a song by Fernando, Pandora® then grabbed other songs, similar to that one but often by different artists. The result? A station full of old hymns made new. (I listened on my computer through the free Pandora website or on my phone through the free Pandora® App.)
But something else happened.
I found myself worshiping. And often that time of worship coincided with writing about a hard memory. I stopped, had a good cry, worshiped God, and thanked Him for his presence with me both in that original hard moment and now as I recreated the memory.
Perhaps you find yourself faced with hard memories, stuff you know you have to work through. Perhaps you will find in worship some of the healing I found.
And so, I give you “my” Fernando Ortega Pandora station. (I’ve renamed it “Storm Sister Soundtrack” so you will know when you have found it.)
February 1, 2015
February Friendship Checkup
Back in December I made a mistake. I’m sure I made more than one. But this one hit me in the head.
Every December for many years I have spent one evening out with a group of friends. We exchange gifts, talk about the year past and the year coming. We laugh. And cry sometimes.
This year most of December flew by, and I had not heard from anyone about setting up our usual December outing. So I sat down to write a quick email.
See, I had figured things out.
I assumed that I had not heard from anyone because they were all too busy this year. I figured it this way. Karen had a new job, a busy husband, and two busy teenagers with lots of Christmas concerts. Karyn had piles upon piles of papers to grade at the semester’s end added to a trip home to see piles and piles of nieces and nephews. Melody had lots of Bible Study Fellowship commitments as well as teenage kid activities and a busy husband.
I assumed finding a time together would add to their stress levels. Didn’t want to do that. So I suggested, in my “I’ve-figured-it-all-out” email, that we move our December tradition to January.
Their response? No! Everyone weighed in with some version of, “I look forward to this every year. I want to do it.”
We eventually settled on a night (after about 20 emails), and I offered to pick everyone up. As I chauffeured my friends to the restaurant, I apologized for my “I’ve-got-you-figured-out” attitude.
On the way home, after good food, good conversations, and a small gift exchange, I said, “I really like our time together. I would like to do this on a regular basis. Like every month. Could we pick a day and just put it on the calendar? Whoever can come, comes.”
These women challenge me, encourage me, strengthen my faith, make me laugh, and help me keep perspective. I need them in my life on a regular basis. Despite busy schedules and changes in life stages.
I refused to drop anyone off at home until we settled on a monthly day and time. Oh the power of being a chauffeur! We landed on dinner out the second Friday of every month.
We have had one Friday together. With many more to come.
So, Dear Reader, do you have a friendship (or friendships) that needs a bit of a tweak? Perhaps you have a friend whom you long to see but just haven’t connected because of schedules. What will you do about it?
