Renee Miller's Blog, page 6

December of Darkness

Are you ready for December of Darkness?

Come to CHURCH, and Meet Our New Lord, Zabir

Good morning, kids! Guess what today is… it’s release day!!

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My horror novella, CHURCH, published by Unnerving Magazine, is finally here. And just look at that beautiful thing…

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In honor of this fine day, let’s talk about where my inspiration for this story came from.

To put it simply: Netflix. The longer story, I love documentaries. I’m also fascinated by religion and understanding the weird shit people believe in. I think that everyone needs to have faith in something, be it a person, themselves, or some deity far, far away, whom they’ve never seen, spoken to, or had any tangible proof exists. I think faith is good. It makes you hopeful, and (usually) encourages us to be better. Faith has inspired people to do amazing things, but let’s be honest, it’s also inspired people to do some pretty horrific shit too.

Now, that disclaimer is out of the way, I’ll get on with it. So, I watched a couple of documentaries about Catholicism (although these were not on Netflix) and a series about that wonderful time when we tortured and burned innocent people we believed were witches (in the name of God, of course). I also watched a couple of films about Scientology and various cults that went way bad, and I said, “What the hell is wrong with us? Why would anyone believe this foolishness?”

The answer I came up with was that we all just want to belong somewhere. Don’t say you don’t. Even the most assholey prick has a need to be accepted somewhere. It’s okay. It’s normal. In religion we find common ground, and no matter how different we are, we know that with these people who think as we think, we “fit.” (Psst. That’s how they get you.) And being human, many of us believe that what we “know” to be true is the only truth, and damn it, we’ll fight for that truth. The rest of you are going to Hell, or wherever our religion says you’ll go to be punished for your sins.

So, after my documentary binge, I had an idea. I had the Christian God, and I had Ray; a man so firmly entrenched in his faith, that he believes non-Christians must be saved. He also believes he’s so tight with God, that he has the ability to save them. Arrogant much? Now that I had my so-called hero, I needed a new god to challenge him. Say hello to Zabir.

Zabir’s plan for salvation involves a lot of self-sacrifice and blood. No pain, no gain, right? The big question for me to answer was: Is Ray’s faith strong enough to defeat Zabir and his followers, or has his ego taken him to a place where God is no longer with him? I may have also sniffed around the question: Is there really anyone “up there”?

There you go. Read CHURCH to find out Ray’s fate and that of the Zabians he’s trying to “save.”

 

No Tricks, Just Treats

Happy Wednesday, Kids! Halloween is approaching and we’ve been busy. Get ready for Deviant Dolls Publications’ first-ever anthology, ECHOES AND BONES, released TODAY!!

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The Florida Keys, a psychic, and a chipped teacup; not very interesting on their own, but together, they weave dark, sometimes twisted tales of secrets, death, mystery and fantastic discovery. Join us as we listen to the echoes and wade through the bones, to unearth the treasures hidden in our deviant minds.

CONSTRUCTIVE DISMISSAL – Michael Keyton

Cheating a houngan is bad news. A classroom won’t save you.

THE LAST READING OF MADAME SHAHRAZAD – Steve Wetherell

Stacey James makes a comfortable living pretending to talk to the dead, but a dangerous stranger is about to put her talents to the ultimate test.

THE PAST ENTOMBED – C.M. Saunders

Amanda has a tragic past. She also has a gift. Or maybe it’s a curse. Psychometry. The art of ‘reading’ inanimate objects. It’s something she has struggled with her entire life, but learned to accept. Until one morning, when she stumbles across an object at a market which brings the past and the future crashing together. There will be consequences.

WASHER WOMAN SHOALS – Liam McNalley

Between her part time job mixing drinks at her landlord’s bar and deceiving tourists as Madame Ezora, Belle earns enough money to allow for a simple new life in Key West. A strange object found on the beach, though, turns her world upside down. Now, the only way to avoid certain death is for Belle to actually contact a spirit from the other side.

MISBEGOTTEN – Frank E. Bittinger

Haunted by a memory or haunted by an actual spirit, that is the question. Even in paradise, it seems you cannot outrun the past. Will turning to one who communicates with those who have passed beyond the Veil provide answers or will it only lead to a dead end?

THIS ONE IS MINE – Katrina Monroe

Patty will look into a stranger’s past for a small fee. Now, it’s time to confront her own.

KEEPER – Renee Miller

Ford’s dusty pawn shop in the Florida Keys is full of both trash and treasure. The items he hides in the room behind the store, though, are his most prized possessions, and definitely not for sale. Rare beauty, exquisite gifts; each worth a price only Ford comprehends.

To celebrate this and the many new things the Dolls have coming this month, we’re going to give away two paperback copies of the anthology, as well as two e-books (winner’s choice of title), as well as other goodies.

To be entered to win, just go to the book’s Amazon page HERE and HERE. (Sorry, U.S. residents only, because Amazon’s not big on international giveaways, apparently, but there will be more chances for non-U.S. readers to win). And stay tuned to the blog and our Facebook page for more Halloween posts and chances to win cool bookish things.

And don’t forget to check out my other new releases. Yes, there are many this month. So, grab a drink and let’s get started. (You might win something.)

 

Unnerving Magazine, Issue 4 (available now)

[image error]Go on over to my Facebook page for a chance to win an e-book copy of this magazine, which is packed with amazing talent. Seriously, get on it. You don’t want to miss out on this one. (PS: If you buy a subscription to Unnerving Magazine (just $10/year), you get this and MORE great horror. Just saying.)

 

[image error]Church (Coming October 17th)

Again, head over to my Facebook page for a chance to win a copy of this before anyone else.

Broadswords and Blasters 3 (Coming October 13th)

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My sci-fi/horror short, GOLD, SKIN AND TIME is included in this brilliant anthology. I’ll be giving away an ebook copy of this one next week, so follow me on Facebook or Twitter (@ReneeMJ) for details.

Blood in the Rain 3 (Coming October 20th)

[image error]I indulged my not-so-secret vampire fetish and wrote an erotic horror piece for Blood in the Rain 3. And there are many more sexy little stories full of blood and lust in this anthology. I’ll be giving away an ebook copy of this one too, so keep an eye on my Facebook and Twitter pages (@ReneeMJ).

 

Smalls’ Soldiers (available now)

[image error]Enter to win an ebook copy of this hilariously dark tale right HERE. Sorry, US residents only, because that’s how Amazon likes it and it’s their circus, so…. you know. There will be chances for non-US residents to win this book as well very soon.

La Femme Fatale (available now)

[image error]And I’ve got another Amazon giveaway going for an ebook copy of this deliciously dark tale. Enter for your chance to win HERE.

There. I think that’s all for now. I’ll be back with some kind of Spooktacular Halloween thing later this month.

Tagged: deviant dolls publications, giveaways, halloween, news

Why Is Life So Into Lemons?

When Life tries to push its lemons on me, I just say no thanks, Life, because I’m not a fan of lemonade. It’s been a tough couple of months personally for me. Adjusting to being back in the world of day jobs, losing two beloved pets, adding three more beloved (if extremely frustrating) pets, and of course, the publishing shit.

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But we’re approaching the end of 2017, and I’ve been taking stock. It hasn’t been all that bad when you add up the positives and negatives. Best of all, Halloween, one of my favorite “holidays” is almost here! This year, I’ve got lots of horror coming your way.

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First, let’s talk about what’s already here. In case you all missed it, over the summer I released KILLERS, a bloody novella about a writer’s revenge. My erotic killer clowns tale, LA FEMME FATALE, is also available via Amazon (published the end of September). It includes my erotic horror shorts INVASION and GOOD VIBRATIONS (previously published by DarkFuse), as well. If you prefer a giggle or two with your horror, check out SMALLS’ SOLDIERS, a novella set in the world of Detective Milo Smalls and his loony band of misfits.

And on October 13th, my short sci-fi/horror story, GOLD, SKIN AND TIME, will be included in Broadswords and Blasters 3 (available for pre-order now). On the 17th, look for my horror novella, CHURCH, from Unnerving Magazine. My short story UNDER THE INFLUENCE, will also be included in issue #4 of Unnerving Magazine (publication: early October). PS: For a limited time, you can pick any four paperback titles you desire from Unnerving for just $35 during the magazine’s first anniversary sale. These are also available for pre-order.

Let’s just pause for a moment to check out that cover…

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Nice, eh? I think so.

AND, for those of you who like a little sexy with your scares, my erotic horror short, MISTRESS will be included in Blood in the Rain 3, a vampire anthology, on October 20th, but you can pre-order this one as well.

Well, that’s a lot for one month, eh? Kind of makes all the bullshit that bummed me out this summer not so bad. I have a few more shorts coming out with various publications in the coming months, including my sci-fi/horror story, THE CARTEL, which I’m extremely thrilled to say will be included in Cohesion Press’s SNAFU: Judgement Day anthology in 2018.

At the moment, I’m slowly puttering away at a couple of novels, including a weird horror tale about alien hobo cannibals (currently out on submission, so fingers crossed everyone), and another about killer headaches. And, over at Deviant Dolls, we’re adding the finishing touches to a dark anthology called ECHOES AND BONES, which will be released around Halloween.

Now, I have a cat peeing in my sink and a puppy whining to go outside, so I must leave you all so I can get back to this glamorous life.

Publishing Woes

Recently, I had a book contract disappear. It was just a novella. No big deal. And I know it’ll find a new home eventually (or I’ll publish it myself). But it still sucks. It’s happened once before, and just like the last time, I’m not dealing with it very well.

What am I talking about? Most authors in the indie world are aware that DarkFuse filed for bankruptcy in late August. For those of you who aren’t aware, now you know. I had a couple of contracts with them at the time. The stories were slated for late 2017 publication (after a few reshedulings of said publication, which was frustrating and annoying, but not entirely unheard of in this industry), and I was pretty excited to be working with DarkFuse.

But then, after weeks of silence, I received this email.

At first, I was just really sad. A day later, I was kind of pissed. A day after that, sad again. Now I’m kind of pissed and sad at the same time. I really enjoyed working with DarkFuse, and I loved reading the content published in their magazine. DF also hosted cool contests, like GoreWars and Tiny Terrors, and the authors I “met” through DF were awesome and talented. Of course I’m sad to see all of that disappear. And let’s not forget the book. I’m pretty bummed this book won’t be published. It’s also shitty that I won’t be getting paid. Because I’m being brutally honest, I’ll admit that “lost” money factors into my misery as well.

This isn’t a rant, though. This isn’t a fuck you, Shane Staley, or a DarkFuse is the root of all that is bad and wrong with the world. I learned a ton working with these people, my experience until the last few months was always positive, and for that I’ll always be grateful. Although there are things that I think could’ve been handled differently (by that I mean, better), I know this industry is tough, and I certainly couldn’t keep a publishing house afloat for even a day. It’s not for me to pass judgement on what happened or why it happened.

I’ve read a lot of tweets, Facebook statuses and blog posts by angry authors who feel the need to lash out. I understand their anger. I totally get the feeling of betrayal. I just don’t know that burning bridges and attacking people is the best idea in terms of business. You’re a business, after all. Your books are your product. For some of us, the publisher is a consumer in that we sell our product to them (advances for books and payments for anthologies). I’m all for speaking out, but I believe in doing so wisely. Think about the consequences and the rewards. Yes, you’ll feel a hell of a lot better afterward, but at what cost?

At the end of the day, how we all deal with shit like this depends on the person. You’re not wrong for venting. You’re not a horrible person for wanting people to know the bullshit you endured. But are you smart in doing so? I’m definitely outspoken and I had a lot to say privately about DarkFuse closing and the months leading up to this email. I just didn’t feel I had anything to gain by saying that stuff online.

I’m glad I held back, because after some reflection, I realize my anger is mostly with the unfairness of it all, and not with DarkFuse or Shane Staley specifically. It sucks for everyone involved, but calling DF or Shane names or letting my rage consume me doesn’t change anything.

I’ve also seen a few authors mention how sad it is that there’s one less paying market out there to submit work to. If you’re all sad that you’ve lost a paying market to submit to, consider why it’s gone. Consider that publishing books and paying authors costs money. That money doesn’t come from book sales alone. The magazine was subscription based. Did you ever purchase a subscription? I didn’t, because part of signing the contract was a free subscription. I would have, eventually. I think.

Hey, I’m guilty of not contributing as well. I do subscribe to a few zines, and I try to buy books from small presses and indie authors as much as possible, but I should be subscribing to more, encouraging my readers to do the same, and I should be reading more. I plan to rectify the oversight over the next few weeks. After all, their success could be my success, right? So instead of lamenting over that lost income potential, you should be knocking yourself in the head for not supporting it and encouraging your readers to support it too. Marketing doesn’t stop with your book, kids.

Which reminds me, during my time with DarkFuse, I also noticed a lot of authors who seem incapable of marketing anything but themselves. A few authors didn’t even bother to do that much. It was like they thought the book would just sell itself because it had a publisher. The work doesn’t end when you sign the contract. And as I said before, the publisher’s success could be YOUR success, so it’s just smart to promote their products, whether you wrote them or not. Right?

Here’s the reality of all of this: Publishers struggle as much (or more) to publish great fiction as we do. DarkFuse had something great, that should’ve done well, and it didn’t survive, so that should be a lesson for us all. Publishers are under pressure to make sure their authors are paid (some of them anyway) and they have to keep their own lights on too. Books don’t generate a lot of money. Sure, multiple titles over time will earn money, but not if readers aren’t buying. Price points are so low that earning more than a buck per book is practically unheard of.

Contrary to what many of you seem to think, running a publishing house isn’t just about selling books and raking in the cash. You have to pay for advertising, websites, editing, cover design, and so much more. It’s not as simple as Publisher A has a shit ton of books out there, so they’re obviously doing well. No. Publisher A is putting a shit ton of books out, because if it stops producing new content, it stops earning enough money to stay open, because it stops being popular, as does its authors, and the back catalog gets stuffed into the dusty corners of bookstores (online and real life), where no one cares to browse. Even with new content and regular sales, the money is often pretty disappointing. If you’ve published yourself, you should know all of this. Being a publisher doesn’t magically change how it all works.

So, instead of being angry, learn from the experience. I’m not saying DarkFuse is innocent of wrongdoing (I have heard some pretty sketchy stories, but I believe there are three sides to everything). I’m saying make some lemonade or whatever. Be honest about where you might have made mistakes and make sure you don’t make them in the future. Be vigilant when working with publishers, so you know the warning signs of a bad deal, and can get the hell out before shit goes south, or (even better) try to help change the direction so things start turning upward.

It’s tempting to play the blame game (and I know DF played it as much as some of its authors have), but blame doesn’t make it better or easier to swallow. It just makes whoever is throwing it around look like a childish douchebag. So, just don’t do it. Move on. Dust yourself off and keep pushing forward.

Maybe try being a professional. I hear that sometimes leads to success.

 

 

 

Tagged: bad news, DarkFuse, it's all so unfair, rants, truth

Get Off My Lawn and Be Nice, Damn It!

When I go online these days, here’s my gut reaction to what I see:

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Because this is what it feels like everyone else is doing:

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I’m an opinionated person. As you all know, I don’t often hesitate to share what I’m thinking about most things, but (I don’t know if you’ve noticed) I almost never share my thoughts on politics or religion. Even in my books, any of that stuff is told from different points of view. Some of it mine, some of it not mine, because I don’t like shoving my shit down a reader’s throat.

But the things I see in the news these days is making it extremely difficult not to be political. I get an itch to respond almost every hour.

But I don’t. Why? Because if I go down that rabbit hole, I end up hurting myself. I’m online for two purposes: marketing and entertainment. I like to be informed, and I feel it’s important to add one’s voice to certain issues, but wasting energy on hating strangers for what they’ve done/believe/say isn’t the best use of my time (in my opinion).

Maybe I’m just getting old. Honestly, the urge to scream “Get off my lawn!” kinds of things is strong. I have almost zero patience for ugliness and stupidity, but I’m also pretty picky about what I want to expend energy on. Yelling at some faceless asshole on social media isn’t high on my list of priorities. Is that a sign of old age? Or maybe it’s wisdom. Maybe I’m just tired.

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*sigh* Anyway, I recently read a Facebook status posted by a publisher that advised authors to keep separate social media profiles. One for personal shit, like political rants, and one for their books, that does not include our personal stuff. I agree, sort of. I also think that readers will see the personal shit anyway. Nothing is secret on the Internet, after all. So, does it matter where we put it? And some authors might say that any reader who wouldn’t pick up their books because of their personal beliefs or values isn’t a reader they want. Fair enough. Keep in mind, though, that those readers include publishers. If you don’t plan to use a publisher, then I guess this all doesn’t really matter.

It’s kind of silly that I’m saying I don’t like to get political, and then I write a blog post about not being political, which is actually kind of being political.

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Anyway, I’m caving. Going to toss my two cents into the air and tell you what I think. Here’s my take on the world today: It sucks. We suck. Humans, in general, make me sad. I know we’re not all bad. Some of us are doing good things and will always do good things. What makes me sad is seeing how many of us are practically orgasmic when we get a chance to be pissed off/offended/hurt/whatever by something someone else has done. I am disgusted by the things we’re doing to each other. Makes me want to gather my kids and take them away to some isolated place where this damaged world can’t touch them.

Hate is bad. All of it. Hating anything requires a lot of energy and what’s our reward? Nothing. We receive nothing by hating, other than that wonderful feeling of something eating us from the inside out. Not really a payoff that I think is worthwhile.

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Instead of ranting or calling people out because what they believe isn’t to your liking, do something different. Be different. Be better. Show these dipshits what humanity should look like by not getting down on their level. I know it’s not an easy thing to do. I realize that nothing will change if we ignore it. Nothing changes if we’re all doing the same thing either. I’m not telling anyone to ignore the clusterfuck that is the world today. I’m telling you to find a way to make a difference that doesn’t involve spewing more hate and anger. That’s all.

And read more books. Always read more books.

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If You Love it…

For many of us, writing is more like a hobby, in terms of where it’s placed on our list of priorities. That’s okay. It’s not usually a money maker, so we need day jobs, and we all need lives (Notice, I said “need” and not “have.” You must go outside sometime and do things with people.) So, finding time to write is always a struggle. It seems like everything is conspiring against us more often than not, and it’s hard. You need proper time and attention to produce quality fiction, right? Of course, I’m right. But what if that time isn’t what we feel it needs to be?

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Sometimes it’s good to whine a little. Not a lot, but enough to release some of that tension in our poor brains. The risk that comes with such things, though, is that it becomes easier to slip into that mindset of “It’s not fair.” Once we do that, we start fulfilling the old prophecy, or however that saying goes.

Finding a way to fit something you love doing into the things you have to do (and might love as well), is all about attitude and action, kids. 2017 has had a rough start for me. First, we lost our beloved animals, Dill (cat) and Harley (dog) within 3 days of each other.

They’re so cute and I miss them so much I just want to die. Sigh. Anyway, and then we adopted a couple of kittens to fill the void of silence. (what have we done??!!)

They had fleas (I’m SO neurotic about fleas it’s not even funny) and Freya, the white one has had issues with allergies (did you know cats have allergies?! I did not) and ear infections. We almost got that under control, and I said, hey, I need a day job. I love writing full time, but it’s not so great for the bank account. I mean, I’ve done well, but it’s unpredictable and there can be long periods between pay days, so I got a job. Just part time. But the day after I took said job, we got a puppy.

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That’s Quinn. Cutie-patootie, eh? Anyway, I forgot what puppies were like. Think babies that can run around and destroy everything while pissing and shitting everywhere. We love him, though. If he started sleeping all night, I’d love him so much more.

And THEN our old dog, Bear, got sick. Fleas. He’s allergic to them. So, a couple of bites turned into a skin infection, and a trip to the vet revealed an ear infection as well. Oh, and arthritis.

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Poor old guy. A bag of meds later, some special shampoo and whatnot, and he’s on the mend. Still not crazy about the puppy, but he’ll come around, because he’s the best boy of all. Just look at that face.

Where have I had time to write in all of this? That’s the thing. There’s always time somewhere, but I find it hard to find the right “mood.” I think I’ve managed about two or three days a week where I write “properly.” The other days are spent on Netflix, cleaning, or just editing works in progress. Sometimes I stare blankly at the computer screen and wonder about the meaning of life and why I can’t just sleep all day. Not a terrible thing, because I’m still productive, but also not how I usually operate, so it’s been making me a little anxious.

The point of all of this is, I see a lot of you posting your stressful stuff on social media. Nothing wrong with that. I do it all the time. I get how you’re feeling and I know it’s tough to see how it’ll ever be “easy.” (Sad truth: It probably never will be.) Sometimes I see a desperate plea for attention, because you’re tired and fed up and frustrated and your writing is suffering as a result, and you just want someone to acknowledge your feelings or whatever (sorry, I’m not good with that stuff). One or two of you talk of giving it up, “for now.” Others just want a place to vent. It’s the giving up stuff that makes me a little twitchy.

If you love something, never quit. Find a way to make it work. There’s always a solution. Sometimes, it just takes a while to see it. Look at me, being a Positive Patty. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Anyway, I’m part of a cooperative of authors, which requires my time on a daily basis (sometimes every other day, but don’t tell the others). We have several things on the go at any given time. I write and submit short fiction wherever I can too, so I have to keep up with that, which is surprisingly time consuming. I’ve also tried ghost writing recently, and made a commitment to a project as a result. It doesn’t require a lot of my time, but still, it eats away at the precious little I have. Let’s not forget I have to market my own books. Write. Do family stuff. Clean. Work. Take care of the zoo we’ve acquired, and still have “me” time here and there. I do it. It’s not always what I’d like it to be and I think about quitting writing entirely at least twice a month, but I do it.

And so can you. If you love it, you owe it to yourself to figure it out.

Now, in the time it took me to write this, the puppy tried to eat my shoe multiple times, had to go outside twice, got attacked by a deer fly (fucking annoying little bastards), tried to run off with the curtain, and almost choked on a chunk of yarn. He’s sleeping now, so I’m going to work on this alien cannibal thing I’ve been messing with for months. I should feed the cats first… and make sure the teenager who is still sleeping has a pulse.

Spinning Wheels

Readers, we have a problem. It’s not you. It’s me. All me. Okay, I have a problem. That’s more accurate. You guys are great. Me? Well, I’m ridiculous.

For the past several months, I’ve felt like I’m spinning my wheels, but getting nowhere. Yes, I’m writing a lot, publishing a good amount of short fiction too, but I went from publishing a book every few months to publishing nothing (independently) for about a year. A YEAR!! I keep wondering if my readers are forgetting me, because they’re all caught up and I’m not giving them anything new.

I’ve got friends getting agents, sharing new releases, being all successful and shit, and I’m over here soothing my feelings with ice cream and potato chips, trying to be happy for them, feeling shitty because I’m like “And what have YOU accomplished lately, Renee?”

Well, that’s what my head tells me. I know it’s bullshit. I’m doing FINE. I am. Really.

If this were someone else telling me these things, I’d be all “Oh, come on! Some authors publish once a year or less. Get over yourself.” And I will, but I need to vomit my insecurities somewhere so I can feel better. You’re all cool with that, right? Sure, you are.

So anyway, I have tons of ideas. Got a notebook full of them, so I don’t forget a single one. I have enough ideas to keep me going for a long time. Haven’t started writing them, though, because I have to “feel” it before I can do that. (Yes, I’m THAT person. Shut up) And I have been writing. I’ve got 23 short stories on submission (3 of those are novellas), and a dozen more I need to find the right potential home to submit to. Some of that dozen are shit, so they’ll probably never be published, though. So, let’s say I’ve got 30 not yet published pieces total. That’s a lot of writing over a period of a few months. Nothing to sniff at.

But I still feel like nothing new is out in the world. Well, nothing longer than 10,000 words anyway. In the coming months, I’ll have two novellas published (one with DarkFuse and one with Unnerving), and I’m releasing a second Milo Smalls book (novella) as soon as I get my shit together and finish editing and find myself a cover. I’m good. It’s okay. As I said, I’M FINE.

So why do I still feel like I’m spinning my wheels? Slacking even. Like I’ve stopped and then shifted into reverse.

As I said, I’m ridiculous. Fine, but ridiculous.

You know what? I think it’s because I don’t have any novels heading toward publication. My brain is trained to write novels, although the short fiction is really awesome and I am addicted to writing it now. Who cares if you’ve published short stories here and there? Where are the big ones? The important ones. That’s dumb. I know it. Yet, here we are.

And it’s not that I haven’t finished any novels. I have a handful of rough drafts, but they all suck. (But really, they’re awful.) Sometimes that happens. You go with an idea, write the 80,000 words or so, and in the end, you have to make the hard call and say it’s not worth putting out into the world. Maybe that’s what’s bugging me. I haven’t written a novel I like even a little bit in about a year. Add the continuous rejection of the submission process into that and the self-esteem takes a bit of a nosedive.

(Feeling sorry for me yet? Despite what I’m implying here, I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. It’s not a pity party.)

So I’m not just sitting here doing nothing. I can relax. I can be happy that I’m writing every day. I won’t think about the fact that out of those 30 short stories I’m submitting, maybe 2 or 3 will be accepted… ugh. Statistics suck.

I know what some of you are thinking right now. “She’s a fucking lunatic.” I’m not. Writers aren’t crazy. Most of us are quite sane. We have to be able to focus to produce books, and we have to be organized to market and sell said books. We also need a thick skin to get through times like this, when we feel like this game just isn’t for us. We have to be able to push aside the self-doubt and anxiety to keep moving forward. That takes some serious mental and emotional fortitude. I sound nuts, but I’m not. I’m FINE.

You might say, “Hey, why don’t you just publish all of that stuff yourself like you were doing before?” I could do that, but self-publishing is part of a long game for me. I never intended to limit myself to “indie” only. Yes, I will still put out my own stuff, but my long-term plan includes publishing traditionally too. So, I want to sell short fiction to amazing publishers, a novel or two if I’m lucky, and release titles independently alongside that. Why? The rationale behind it is kind of confusing. Maybe it’s not. I don’t know.

Yes, I like the validation publishing traditionally provides (I know I don’t need it), but I also like the freedom indie publishing allows. (Indie allowed me to explore erotic horror and comedy, which I LOVE writing) And, let’s face it, I’ve been far more successful earning money with publishers than I have on my own. Maybe that will change. Maybe it won’t. I don’t know. Selling short fiction in traditional markets also broadens my network. I’ve met amazing readers, authors and editors since I picked up the submission game again, and that’s important in this industry. You can go it alone, but you shouldn’t actually go it ALONE. You need networks of people to help you put your brand out there.

So, I tell myself I’m on track, because I am. I’m finally where I wanted to be many moons ago, and I’m steadily moving forward, even if my wheels spin now and then. Still, when someone says ,”Have you published anything new?” I cringe before I direct them to the most recent short story I’ve published. It’s silly, isn’t it? Yes, it is. I’m silly. Still fine, though. Everything’s okay.

I feel a little bit better. You all look a little rough, though. It’s not easy wandering around inside my head.

I’m curious about the other writers out there. How do you measure your progress? Do any of you have a long-term plan? What do you do when you start feeling like you’re slipping backward? Is that cake?

 

What’s Wrong with the Writer: Hoarding

Someone recently suggested I post a series here about the things that are wrong with me. I don’t see them as “wrong,” mind you. They’re simply the things that make me different. Special.

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Actually, I bet a bunch of you enjoy the same quirks, so maybe this whole thing will be an exercise that’s good for my self esteem. Or not. Let’s begin.

I’ve been doing a lot of cleaning lately. Of course, it’s in spurts. One or two days every week or couple of weeks, because I’m really not a fan of cleaning, because I know that I stash all kinds of crap everywhere, and cleaning means I have to deal with said crap. I’ve been denying it for years, but now, I know I have to admit that I have a problem.

I’m a hoarder.

When I started the “overhaul” of every room in this house (still not done yet), I began with my computer files, because I had to clear everything off my laptop before it was repaired, and I only had so much storage available on my backup device, so I figured I’d just get rid of files I no longer need.

I found no less than three versions of almost EVERY story I’ve ever written. I wish I was kidding. But then, when it came time to delete the old versions, I actually experienced physical pain. Did I delete them?

No.

I bought a bunch of flash drives and saved it all. I suck at organizing, so I’m not entirely sure what’s on which drive, but it’s all there somewhere and that makes me happy. I’ll probably never look at half the files again, but they’re there, and that’s okay.

But files aren’t real. They don’t take up “real” space. The other things I hoard are a different matter.

Before we begin, I should mention that the strangest thing about my hoarding habit is that I hoard OTHER PEOPLE’S THINGS more than my own. That’s right. Most of the stuff I keep around my house for whatever reason isn’t even mine.

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Right?! I’ll just give you some examples of the things I’ve realized I’m hoarding and my rationale (if I have any) behind keeping them.

Charger cords: In my defense, you never know when a spare charger cord will come in handy, or what will be compatible with what. So I simply NEVER throw out anyone’s charger cord. Laptop, phone, game, tablet, etc. I keep them all. I did toss the gross ones and the ones with bare wires… finally.

Laundry soap bottles: See, I have this box near the washing machine, and it’s just so much easier to toss empty bottles in there and walk away. Problem is, a couple of times a year, the recycling guy is all “WTF is this giant bag of laundry soap bottles?” (also cat litter jugs and shampoo bottles) It’s laziness. I know. It’d be just as easy to toss them in the recycling, but I just don’t do it.

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Books: I know, you’re all “Obviously!” but it’s not just my books I hoard. I don’t throw out ANY books. Not even when the owner of said book says “You can donate these.” I just keep them. I have about 100 books right now that aren’t mine that I’m supposed to give away, and they’re STILL HERE. Sigh.

But… books.

Clothes: Again, not even my clothes. Until a few weeks ago, I had three garbage bags full of clothes my kids don’t wear anymore. Did I toss them? Nope. Kept them for MONTHS. Just in case they changed their minds. But they’re gone now. All of them. Just in time for another massive closet clean-out.

Bills, papers, etc.: I don’t know why I don’t get rid of bank statements and bills that I don’t have to claim or pay or whatever. I just keep them in case… I don’t fucking know. I found a box of old statements and bills about a month ago. Yes, I got rid of them, but I’m not going to lie; I hesitated.

Dishes: I don’t think I’m alone in this. I keep every dish, lid, cup, pot, pan, whatever. You never know when someone else might need it. Right? Sure. I cut my coffee mug collection in half recently. It was so hard, but now there’s only one shelf full of mugs. And I cleaned out the plastic container cupboard. Tossed everything without a lid, and every lid without a matching container. I recycled a garbage bag full of those. I was quite proud of that.

And then I found a container missing a lid and wondered…

Pens, pencils, markers: Not a single one are mine. They’re stuff I bought for my kids. Some of them are out of ink. Some have been here since Court was in Kindergarten (she’s 18). I think those are useful things to hoard, though.

Games, movies, CD’s, etc.: I can’t even tell you how many of these we have. I don’t own a single one. Have I chucked them yet? Sold them? Given them away? Nope. Still here. In my defense, the CD’s are Kurt’s and there’s about five boxes of them, but I don’t see how I can throw away something that’s not mine, even if they’ve sat in said boxes for about four years.

Christ, FOUR years.

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Shoes: Okay, I’m a girl. Shoes are awesome. Problem is, of the probably thirty-odd pairs of shoes and/or boots we have, there are maybe four or five that are mine. The rest belong to my daughters, and I’m not even sure most of them even fit them anymore.

But they’re all like new, so I keep them until I find someone who will wear them. Is that weird?

Food: I’m just going to come out and say I know this is bad. Like, really bad. When you start finding food in your cupboards that expired two years ago (sometimes more), you’ve got a problem. I know this. When I cleaned out the dish cupboards a couple of months ago, I also cleaned out the food cupboards. Found apple sauce that expired in 2015, and some granola bars that expired in 2012… I don’t want to talk about those.

Let’s just say I promised myself I’d keep better track of best before dates… and I won’t keep anything people in this house won’t eat.

Probably.

Bags: Plastic bags, cloth bags, bookbags, purses—if it’s a bag, I keeps it. Got those little bastards tucked everywhere. Even the ones with holes.

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What else? Oh, yes. Coffee makers. Got a Keurig, a Tassimo, a percolator, a regular “drip” coffee maker (times two), and I think that’s all. Oh, and the tea kettle, in case I’m forced to drink instant coffee. They all work, so why would I get rid of them? Right? I mean, one might stop working, and then where would I be?

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Electronics: I’m not even going to get into this one. I have broken phones and laptops tucked away for no good reason. That’s all you need to know about how bad that particular hoarding habit is.

Okay, I think that’s all the confession I can handle today. I doubt I’ll ever delete my writing files, even if I hate them or don’t need them. I just can’t bring myself to do it, and since they don’t take up space in my house, I’ve decided it’s okay to hoard those. I’m trying to stop hoarding everything else, though. Well, I’m going to at least stop hoarding things that aren’t mine.

What about you guys? Anything you hoard that you know you shouldn’t?

How To Be a Writer, Not a Tool

Recently, I stumbled across a discussion in a writing group on Facebook. The OP, Christian Saunders, basically warned writers that when we’re posting to social media, we have a duty, as writers, to at least show a grasp of basic grammar and spelling. That means, no weird spellings, no misspellings, no strange sentences. Write it properly. Typos happen, but overall, what we put out there should reflect our ability to write. I mean, social media statuses are still written words, right?

You know what? I’m just going to share the post. Here;

“There’s been a lot of talk in the past few days about people correcting grammar and such on posts in this group. Here’s how it is. While we are all prone to the odd dropped comma or missed apostrophe, especially when typing on our phones, the fact of the matter is that if your post is riddled with errors it looks sloppy, and is a very poor reflection on your writing ability. Let’s not forget, this is a writing group. And for the people who think this kind of thing isn’t important, you are wrong. If you don’t know how to use grammar, or if you can’t spell or punctuate properly, in other words, if you don’t know how to use the basic tools, then I’m sorry but you have no business proclaiming to be a writer.” – C.M. Saunders

Well, what he had to say didn’t go over well. Many members of the group agreed, but more did not. They called him a troll, an elitist, a snob, a bully, and one person who agreed with him was called a cunt. Christ, kids. Sensitive much? We really have to drag out the c-word? I mean, I love that word, but use it wisely, and with restraint.

More than one member (and even one is too many, in my opinion) of this group said we have editors to deal with that stuff, so we don’t actually have to learn it.

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Another said it’s just Facebook, so who cares if we’re sloppy. Um, YOU should care. And editors aren’t there to fix your shit. When it gets to an editor, all the shit should be gone. You should have polished that sucker as much as possible, and then the editor can work on what you missed. That’s how you be a professional, cupcake. The editors aren’t there to do the work for you. Lazy much?

“Lots of great novelists had poor grammar and ignored writing rules.” – Yes, and those writers ignored said rules AFTER they learned them and followed them and understood WHY they were there in the first place.

“It’s impossible to post perfect statuses and such when using a phone. Auto-correct ruins everything and the keypad doesn’t have proper punctuation.” – Wrong. I use my phone all the time. If auto-correct gets a word wrong, I fix it. Or I shut auto-correct off. Or I go back in when it’s posted and I edit. And every keypad on every phone I’ve ever had has all the punctuation. You just have to press the little button that says “ABC” or something like that, and it switches to punctuation and/or numbers. No excuse for sloppy posts.

“Writing is so much more than making words into sentences on a page.”

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Just let me remind you, writing is ALL ABOUT making words into sentences. It’s kind of the way it’s done.

“It’s Facebook, not a literary journal.” – Sigh. What you put on Facebook is seen by potential readers. If it’s sloppy and poorly written, a reader might believe your fiction writing is the same. Takes a few seconds to write a Facebook status. Take a few more to make sure it’s not a shit show.

One of the group’s members posted a rebuttal status, basically asking us all to be kind to one another, blah, blah, vomit, etc. And then, when Christian replied to this rebuttal, this guy deleted the comment.

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I know, right? Anyway, let’s move on.

Look, kittens, you’re calling yourselves writers, so cut the shit. If you’re going to join a group for writers, stop expecting to be coddled. If you’re going to SELL what you write, expect criticism. Stop acting like spoiled two-year-olds and really hear what people like Christian are saying. They’re not bullying you. They’re not trying to make themselves look smarter or better. This is solid, GOOD advice. Use it.

I’m tired of hearing about this “We’re a community” bullshit, where we stroke each other’s egos and ignore basic shit like writing in complete sentences with proper spelling and grammar all the time. I’m sick of hearing that writing is art and it’s subjective, so you don’t need to know the basics. That’s bullshit. I have busted my ass to learn the basics, and I expect anyone calling themselves “writer” to do the same. If you’re going to post something in a group MEANT FOR WRITERS, and you decide you don’t need to write it properly, I’m going to correct you. Why? Because I don’t care about your ego.

Editors are NOT there to fix what you’re too lazy to learn. Publishers will NOT take a manuscript that’s riddled with errors because the “story” is kickass. Know why? Because they won’t even READ it. One, two, five, ten errors later, they’ll be all “Fuck this shit,” and you’ll get the rejection letter. That’s reality. Part of writing a good “story” is the words you use, the structure you give it, and the flow all of it creates. Grammar, punctuation, spelling, and other basic writing elements are all part of that. Believe whatever delusion you want. Doesn’t make it true. Readers won’t be thrilled either, should you decide to self-publish without fixing mistakes. Sure, even big publishing houses publish errors and typos. We’re human. I make mistakes all the time. I miss typos. My editor misses stuff too. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t strive for perfection. Impossible to achieve, I agree, but at least make the effort.

No one should be rude when correcting spelling or grammar, but would any effort to do so be received as anything but rude? I’ve seen some of you lose your damn minds when someone corrects you. Well, I’m sick of coddling the snowflakes. You’re annoying. Calling Christian rude for saying what he said is hypocritical too, as many of these sensitive little flowers were more than rude in response to this post. They were downright hateful. And for what? Because he told you the truth? Suck it up, sunshine.

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We SHOULD pay attention to what we post on social media. We’re writers. Many of us are trying to sell what we write. When you do that, and you market online, how you present yourself is important. Paying attention to simple things like spelling and punctuation shows you’re a professional and gives readers (the people who might buy your books) confidence in you and your work, and ensures they might actually read what you post.

If you consistently post statuses or comments that are riddled with text speak, spelling mistakes, poor grammar, etc. you’re hurting your brand. If you don’t care, then go ahead and continue ignoring that stuff. Whatever floats your boat. Expect others to comment on those mistakes, though. Christian’s not evil or a troll for stating something that should be obvious to a writer.

Some of the people that commented wondered why we have to be so negative. Some asked why anyone would post such a thing in the first place, if not to be a troll or a bully. Do you want to know why he posted it? Because, for a group of WRITERS, the number of posts with poor, no atrocious punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc. is staggering. This trend isn’t limited to this particular group either. I see it a lot, in many writer-type circles. And it’s not because these folks don’t know better. It’s because they’re lazy. Yes, a few might still be learning, but others are PUBLISHED. So, one might assume they know the basic rules of grammar and such. Right? I’d hope so.

Writing is art, sure, but it also requires skill. You have to practice and learn, and in order to master this skill, you’ve gotta take some criticism. If you’re going to call yourself writer, then behave like one. Not just sometimes. Do it every time, everywhere, with everything you put out there. If you’re too lazy, you better thicken that skin and learn how to take criticism in all its forms.