Renee Miller's Blog, page 19

Some Advice You Don’t Want About Writing, But It’s Useful So You Should Read It

Read, write, critique, read, write, show, don’t tell, stand on your head, count backward from 100…we’ve all had a shit ton of writing advice shoved down our throats, and I’m aware you guys don’t need any more of that. But there are other ways to improve your writing that have very little to do with actually writing. There are ways you can change how you think or work that can drastically improve what you put on the page. These don’t replace the learning of grammar rules or how to structure a plot, but they do help the little nuances that make your writing special.

First, remember your body needs certain things.  Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Mine consists of coffee and grumbling, but I suspect most folks need something more substantial. I’ve found if you remember to feed yourself in the morning, coffee is plenty of fuel to keep you going until at least supper time. Then, you can take a well-deserved break and order some takeout. I like to keep handy snacks close by too, so there’s no need to get up at all if I’m on a roll. Doritos and cookies bars are best, but now and then I get a healthy craving, so I eat some ice cream. I am totally aware that my healthy and your healthy may be quite different.  

The second thing you need to do is burn that damn schedule. It’s a fantastic idea to list the tasks that need doing each day. It’s also a wonderful to arrange your day so that you can get said tasks done. However, at the end of the day, a list is just a list. It’s not set in stone (unless you don’t believe in paper). If you spend too much time worrying about getting all the shit done, your head will explode. A to-do list is kind of like you suggesting to yourself that you could get these things done, but if something happens that you don’t, you’ll just do it tomorrow, or whenever. However, one thing you should schedule and ACTUALLY DO is going out. I mean outside. Seriously. I went out this past weekend, and I met William Wallace and his pals, and I talked to some zombies. It was awesome.

If your life is so routine that your neighbor can determine the date and time just by your activities, you need to shake things up a bit. Try something new. Take a cooking class, or just decide that Wednesday is crazy time, where you pull an activity, place or food out of your ass. By trying new things you broaden your experiences and this can only serve to enhance your writing, even if those new things are horrible and never to be repeated—like that time I tried this seafood pasta. Wow, that was awful.

The thing is, better writers happen in unexpected places, and they’re usually nowhere near your home or your jammies.

The third way to improve your writing involves soap. Shower now and then. Maybe even brush your teeth. A clean writer is a happy writer. Also, you stink.

One piece of advice I wish someone had given to me is to help others. I learned this myself, and it’s possibly the most helpful thing I’ve learned. I’m talking about being generous with time, advice, and things like that when it comes to other writers. Find a way to help others. It might feel like a selfless act, but by helping others improve, you improve your work as well. You don’t have to believe me. I don’t give a shit what you do. But don’t be all whiny and stuff when you get stuck in a rut because you’re too lazy or whatever to offer a critique or a bit of encouragement. Just saying.

Also important to remember is, shit happens. Sometimes it’s not good, and sometimes it’s so bad it sucks ass. Know what? You can’t control it all. If something shitty happens, accept that sometimes you’re the bird and sometimes you’re the car. Don’t get all mopey and depressed. That is not conducive to good writing. It’s conducive to mopey, whiney drivel. No one wants to read that.

Speaking of whiners, you should also do things you don’t want to do. Nothing crazy. Jumping out of a perfectly functioning plane with a piece of fabric strapped to your back is stupid. I’m saying you should try little things that you put off because you’re scared of failure or sunlight. Maybe you’ve never taken dance lessons because you’re afraid people will make fun of you or because you don’t have a tutu ass. Do it anyway. It’s freeing to face fears or things that make you uncomfortable. Besides, almost nobody over the age of five has a tutu ass. So, yeah. Facing your fears builds up your confidence and that will be obvious in your writing. Just so you know; I don’t plan to ever write perfectly, so there is no need for me to overcome my foot thing. We have our limits.

You should stop putting things off too. I know how easy this is, because working from home makes procrastinating super easy. I’ll be here tomorrow, right? Whatever it is that wants me to clean it up can wait. If you (and I) stop putting shit off that’s really not that hard or time consuming to do, you’ll feel better. As things get finished, you’ll have more time to do the stuff you love.

Finally, gather as much useless information as your brain or hard drive will hold.

You never know when useless information might come in handy. Trust me. I’ve been in love with Greek mythology forever. Last November I decided to use that love and write a novel. It’s being published next year. Also, I have a murder file. Enough said.

What piece of writing advice would you give that’s got nothing to do with actually writing?

Tagged: advice, fiction, humor, improvement, writing

The Old In and Out: Penetrating The Writer Brain: Lauren Stone

And it’s another week of penetrating brains. This week Lauren Stone agreed to be probed. Lauren was born and raised in Los Angeles, California. She is currently dividing her time between Seattle, WA, Los Angeles, CA, and Montreal, QC where she lives with her husband and their canine children Ralph and Olaf. In addition to writing, Lauren is an accomplished musical theatre actress garnering rave reviews in Los Angeles and Seattle. She graduated Magna Cum Laude from California State University, Long Beach in Fall 2011. She is currently applying to MFA programs.

Lauren is the one who compiled my book trailers. She’s a talented and always busy lady.  Although we haven’t met in person “yet” she’s one of my besties. You’ll see why in a minute.

To the questions!

Renee: firmly believe that every author has a character she’s secretly in love with, whether it’s one of your own, or one created by another author. Give us a name, and tell us what makes him/her so fantastic?

Lauren: My favorite character I’ve ever written is from a screenplay I wrote several years ago, that will probably never be made. She is a sympathetic serial killer with borderline personality disorder. She is afraid of abandonment and so she taxidermies anything she loves that tries to leave her. She goes from being a sweet self-deprecating under-dog, to villain, to sympathetic victim. It really fucks with the readers head, because you end up feeling guilty for liking her, and that is why I love her. She is multi-faceted and becomes a real person rather than just another horror trope.

Purple prose is kind of annoying. All those heaving bosoms, moist caves, and gloriously pulsating love clubs can overwhelm a reader. Some authors can add purple and create a pretty cool effect, or they use it to add a bit of humor. Describe your favorite food in a purple way.

The moist, juicy, poitrine dessosse encapsulated, protected by a fine misting of flour, dredged in emulsified ovum of poultry dusted with iodine and freshly ground pepper noire, before doused in the perfectly plump bread crumb substitute of my people (PANKO), and fried in a shallow pan with two inches of roiling oil, set atop a mound of fleecy downy grains from a paddy then boiled to perfection, and coated with the savory mahogany alchemy of spices set into dehydrated cubes of Golden Curry, mountains of translucent yellow onions, crimson potatoes, and carrot pyramids, reminded me of winter. I love katsu-curry.

**That’s the first time purple prose has made my mouth water.**

Fantasy is a vast genre, so authors have a lot of inspiration for stories and characters. My personal favorites are gods and (yes, I’ll admit it) vampires. I could never write about werewolves and be perfectly happy, because I just don’t get the allure. If you were told you could never write about one type of character again (under penalty of torture, dismemberment and then death), which one would you throw off the cliff?

This is a literal sacrificial lamb? I think I could sacrifice writing about Stephanie Meyers Vampire mythology. Vampires as a genre staple will always be there because they are an embodiment of our fear of death and immortality. So, there will always be vampiric characters, but if I never have to see another story featuring a lovelorn teenager who just wants to get laid, but can’t because it’s wrong, and is in love with a vampire with built in body glitter, and that’s what makes him dangerous, arts and crafts herpes, I’m OK, with never having to use those character or archetypes again. I guess simpering teen, is the real character I want to destroy. I didn’t think this one out very well.

**Arts and crafts herpes—Stealing this.**

This one is easy: What author would you most like to spend time with (for whatever reason and no you don’t have to share the reason) and what would you ask him/her?

Christopher Moore. I love his brain. LAMB is the book I wish I wrote because it’s so good. We have a very large Christopher Moore collection in our house, I should actually probably finish reading them all.

**I must recommend you all check out Christopher Moore. Lauren’s right. His brain is fascinating.**

Writing routines are recommended by the “experts.” I have some things I always do before and while writing that help me focus. For example, there must be coffee and an ugly housecoat involved. Music is also important. What’s the most important (or strangest) part of your writing routine?

I am a pantser. And, I write in very different genres. For me, I love long hand for poetry and short fiction, for screenplay and novel I prefer my trusty laptop. Music is generally a given and Pandora is my saving grace. Certain channels get more play time depending on the genre I am writing in, but for the most part it’s Sarah Barellis and all the magic that comes up on her station, or Adelle. It is less about the content of the music and more about the meter and pace of the songs. I used to be a competitive swimmer and we would pump songs through the sound system to set our rhythm. It’s effectively the same for writing, it is there to keep you moving forward and to distract you from getting lost in the silence of your own mind, cause that’s where we all start screaming, what are you doing, no, that’s a terrible idea, you’re going to kill her? Why? Why? Why? Stop it what’s wrong with you you worthless piece of shit? Oh…I could really go for some Cheetos. And then you get up and eat Cheetos and watch chopped instead of writing.

**Last time I ate Cheetos while writing, it was an orange powder nightmare. I did learn that I use the “n” key a lot.**

You find yourself stranded in a dark alley at night. Doesn’t matter how you got there, because it’s too late. You’re there. Shit’s happening. Focus! Okay, you have to make a decision. There is no escape. If you don’t decide, one of your loved ones gets it bad. Okay? We’re clear? Good. So, you’re confronted by a werewolf, a zombie, a demon, and a vampire. The only way out is to let one of these bad boys (or girls) turn you. Which do you choose? Why?

Oh, werewolf. I’m already a bitch three days out of the month anyway.

**Best answer to this question ever.**

That sentence best describes your work ethic? Seriously. Yes, I want to know. Mine? It’s all fun and games until you get an email. Because I’m easily distracted. Okay, now it’s your turn.

I work all the time, OCD, until it’s done. And then don’t touch it for two years or until there is a deadline. I have lots of stuff ready to be published just looking for an avenue. I’m a firm believer that you need to have a catalog, so that you can actually keep producing and sell work that exists while you are working on new things. Basically, I’m a squirrel.

Let’s pretend we live in a utopia, where everything’s awesome and we’re all perfect. How would we communicate in a perfect society?

We would piss money into each other’s mouths. Perfect is fucking boring. Perfect isn’t real, and perfect is a lovely little fairytale we tell ourselves so that we have hope in a desolate wilderness. But, you know what? Perfect is a dangerous lie. I don’t like this question, because I think we assume shit is perfect and then ignore all the heinous things we do to one another for “the greater good”. So, yeah. Someone else can go live in the cloud of farts known as utopia, I’d rather try and understand why the world allows horrible shit to happen. But, then, I am a pessimist who is having health problems and waiting on an MRI, so a little jaded this week, not going to lie.

**Have I told you I love you lately?**

Pennywise the Clown, Edward Cullen, Jessica Rabbit and the Fates walk into a bar. What happens next?

Edward Cullen falls down crying cause he is secretly afraid of Clowns. Jessica Rabbit gets free drinks from the Fates, signs an exclusive modeling contract, and Pennywise drinks a bottle of Talisker because all he ever wanted was to make people smile.

Writers are often labeled as weird, crazy or slightly strange, but we all know that’s not true. Still, it’s hard not to have some eccentricities when you spend so much time in your head. What’s one strange fact about yourself that readers might find a little crazy or odd?

I think I have an affinity for horror and swear words because I’ve taught children’s, musical theater, dance, and preschool for fifteen years. Being surrounded by children and forced to behave in a cheery manner amplifies the dark parts of your brain. Anytime you restrain yourself and are forced to adopt certain behaviors I think your subconscious wants to act out, and mine does that by creating fiction and turning sweet innocent stories into nightmares.

**So the children are to blame. This explains much.**

A strange man walks into your house. (It might happen) He’s wearing a wedding dress, which is covered in dirt and a mystery material that looks kind of like snot, but it’s blue, and he’s carrying a shovel with a bloody handle. What happens next?

“Hey, Honey. Do we have room in the fridge for twelve million blueberry muffins? That smurf wedding massacre was nuts.”

**Giggle**

What genre do you prefer to write? Why? Is it different from the genre you enjoy reading?

 I prefer short/flash fiction, because I am ADD sometimes, and screenplay/playwriting because I love dialog. I prefer to write dialog to narrative and find it to be more facile. I started as an actor and because I have read and performed more plays/scripts in the past twenty years than I have read books, I am far more familiar with the structure of how a dramatic work is crafted. Also, being an actor allows me to look at the work from that perspective as well as that of a writer. People say all the time that you have to read your genre to know how to write in it, and I agree to a certain extent, but I think you can’t discount our experiences with other forms of media and how it influences the way we write as individuals. I realized recently that I like non-fiction, never really thought of myself as a non-fiction reader, but whenever I pick up something to read for “fun” it’s non-fiction. I’m reading Stephen King’s On Writing right now, and my gym book used to be Cognitive Therapy and the Emotional Disorders. I have a list of novels sitting on my bookshelf that I keep saying I am going to read, but I never actually pick them up unless someone else directs me to do so. Where as I have willingly read 200 pages of Stephen King’s memoir in the last week. Never read any of his novels, we have 8 of them on that shelf, I’ve paid for them, mean to read them, haven’t done it. Seen all the movie remakes(actor-fail), but it is his memoir that I have gotten the farthest in. Just a weird thing I noticed. I also think that sometimes you aren’t ready to read certain books. Some books come to you when you need them, and in his memoir King talks about health scares and being in and out of the hospital and I think that has more to do with why I have been in the book with him than the fact that it is non-fiction. I hope Renee edits this cause I’m just kind of rambling and oversharing. It’s how I roll.

 Ah, I always enjoy talking to Lauren. Writers, check out her publishing company here and the rest of you can find Lauren on Twitter and her blog. Oh, and she’s into film stuff too.

Tagged: authors, fiction, humor, Lauren Stone, Loyal Stone Press, the old in and out

Conspiracies and Plots and Governments and Such: It’s All Going to End In Shit and Monkeys

Conspiracy theories are a writer’s dream, because conspiracy theorists are brilliant at concocting plots most of us would take months to dream up. Need inspiration? Type “Conspiracy Theories” into Google and soak it all up. My NaNoWriMo project is all about conspiracy…although I suppose I’m mostly making fun of them. But that’s okay, because conspiracy is a great plot tool and why shouldn’t we use it? Right? Of course I’m right.

My conspiracy theory comes from the dark depths of my head, so we all know it’s not real. But there are theories out there that people really believe in and make revealing these secret plots the focus of their lives. Never mind that (to my knowledge) these theories have never been proven or validated in any way.  That only makes sense, right? I mean, conspiracies are secret, so of course all the good ones are impossible to prove.

For example, some people (who apparently had nothing better to do) traced President Obama’s genealogy back to the Merovingian Dynasty of ancient France (410-459 AD). This royal line leads to the Carolingian Dynasty, founded by Charles Martel. Followers of this theory believe that Jesus, through his daughter (that’s right, I said Jesus’s daughter), leads directly to the Merovingian Dynasty, and thus to Obama. Oh wait. It gets better. Some genealogists traced it all directly back to High King Priam of Troy, and from Priam to Judah, son of Jacob, who was the son of Isaac, who was the son of Abraham, and then from Abraham back to Adam. As in Adam and Eve. That guy. Are you still with me? Okay, well following these paths, conspiracy theorists say you can clearly see the possibility that President Obama is Satan or the Antichrist. What? I know it seems like a leap, but wait for the rest of it. This theory alleges that the Priory of Sion (which most of the world is aware doesn’t exist outside Dan Brown’s imagination) has bribed, coerced and assassinated major historical figures like JFK, and also threatened/blackmailed political figures for decades just to ensure the “reign” of Obama. Why? The Priory of Sion is apparently the official guard of the truth about the Jesus bloodline. Why would the guard of Jesus’s bloodline want to ensure the Antichrist came into power? Do you recall the book of Revelation’s depiction of the End Days? Well according to that, ensuring the Antichrist’s reign will also speed up the happy ending.

My NaNo project also uses Obama as a major player, but he’s not the Antichrist…although…never mind.

Keeping with the Bible related theories, I’m sure most of you have heard that in the Judeo-Christian Bible there are warnings about future catastrophes. It’s believed the Bible contains warnings that predicted the assassinations of Lincoln and JFK, 9/11, the End of Days, the identity of the Antichrist, and the location from which the he or she will rise. If the Bible Code is ever proven to be true, we’ll all realize it proves the existence of God.

Hmm.

Enough about the Bible. Let’s look at some “the government will kill us all” theories, which are also part of my NaNo project. For example, some think the FBI has the tools to invent a death ray. Many of these believers think they already have one. Heard of Nikola Tesla? He reportedly theorized and planned (but did not actually create) a device that he believed would be a directed-energy weapon that would act as a death ray. In 1957, the National Inventors Council actually asked that a death ray to be invented for use as a weapon. Crazy scientists. So if it was never invented, how did the FBI get it? Well, Tesla worked on plans for this device until his death, after which the FBI took all his shit. They refuse to release any of Tesla’s papers, so some folks believe that his death ray exists and is currently being used.

Again; Hmm.

A government theory that fits into my project better is the “AIDS is Manmade” theory. There are some who believe that AIDS was created by scientists in a laboratory. They claim that HIV was created by a group or a secret agency (like the CIA) as a way of controlling the population. Others think it was an experimental biological warfare weapon that escaped accidentally. But wait, it gets nuttier. Some have suggested that the CIA deliberately gave the HIV virus to African Americans and homosexuals in the seventies via tainted hepatitis vaccinations as part of a plan to eradicate the black race. I’m not sure if they thought only one race was gay back then, or whatever. It follows that stupidity would dictate such a belief, because the idea is really stupid. Anyway, others think HIV was administered first in Africa as a way of stopping the development of that continent. Later it was accidentally spread to the rest of the world.

The theory that blames the monkeys is looking pretty valid now, isn’t it?

I think my favorite theory of all that I’ve read is the one about fluoride making the world dumber one drop at a time. Theorists believe that fluoride, which is added to drinking water in many countries, is harmful to our health. Apparently our governments know it’s harmful, but continue to add it because drug companies (and the governments) profit from all of us being sick. Where does dumb come in? Well, some believe fluoride lowers mental ability, so fluoridation is a way to “dumb down” the population. So we don’t have the capacity to figure out that they’re making us sick? I don’t know. Maybe. Let’s think about social media. Now Internet “commenters” and the like, and…yep, it’s definitely happening. We’re getting dumber by the second.

It’s not as though we don’t suspect the drug companies of very bad things in general, right? I mean, a very popular conspiracy theory claims that drug companies are intentionally not producing cures for diseases like AIDS and cancer because they profit so heavily from treating the symptoms of these illnesses. A staggering amount of people believe pharmaceutical companies are in cahoots with medical practitioners to invent new ailments, and list things like ADD and ADHD as said “new” ailments, in order to sell drugs.

But wait. Let’s look at the best and most disturbing theory I’ve come across:  The New World Order.

This is a popular theory in which theorists claim that a small group of international elites controls and manipulates government, industry and media organizations all over the world. Their tool? Money. Think about it: Using the system of central banking, this group is alleged to have funded and caused most of the major wars of the last two centuries. How? Mostly by carrying out false attacks to manipulate the masses into supporting them. Oh, and also by deliberately causing inflation and depressions via their death grip on the world economy. This conspiracy theory intrigues me, and has intrigued many authors before, primarily because it “could” be true.

You might wonder why, if it is true, would they allow us to write about it? Because world domination is a noble endeavor, and as such the folks involved would never censor us, because censorship is wrong.

Conspiracy theories will always exist, and most will never be proven, even when they are true (although mostly they’re not). It’s easy to believe the worst in people, particularly those with power or money, because it helps explain why our lives turn so shitty. I mean, if it’s not our fault, then we can’t be expected to change things, right? Unless you’re a hero in a fictional story. Then you must change it all.

How about you guys? Got any cool conspiracies in your books? Any “real” theories you’ve heard that make you go “Hmmm?”

Tagged: conspiracy theories, fiction, humor, NaNoWriMo, Obamanation, plotting

The Old In and Out: Penetrating the Writer Brain: Danielle DeVor

Welcome back! We’re diving into a new head today. Meet Danielle DeVor, who is also an author published with Crescent Moon Press. According to her bio, Danielle spent her early years fantasizing about vampires and watching “Salem’s Lot” way too many times.  (To which I say, who didn’t?!) After living briefly in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, she moved back to her hometown to write. I’m already jealous. I mean, Baton Rouge? Awesome. Anyway, when not writing and reading about weird things, you will find her hanging out at the nearest coffee shop, enjoying a mocha frappuccino. She’s our kind of gal, right?

Well, let’s begin the penetrating of Danielle’s brain.

Renee: I firmly believe that every author has a character she’s secretly in love with, whether it’s one of your own, or one created by another author. Give us a name, and what makes him/her so fantastic?

Danielle: It would definitely be Anne Rice’s Lestat de Lioncourt. His tortured soul and his beauty just have always gotten to me. Not to mention that he is a loveable bad boy. He isn’t called “The Brat Prince” for nothing. J

**I’m quite fond of Lestat myself. He was my first vampire crush.**

Purple prose is kind of annoying. All those heaving bosoms, moist caves, and gloriously pulsating love clubs can overwhelm a reader. Some authors can add purple and create a pretty cool effect, or they use it to add a bit of humor. Describe your favorite food in a purple way.

Lucious sweetness descends past my lips. My body quivers at the taste. My head looses the ability to think. The juiciness and velvety texture relaxes my tongue and I close my eyes. I know my mouth is filled with brown ecstasy, but the color doesn’t matter. It is the feeling that does. Dense and yet changes shape. Orgasmic, you may want to call it. I simply call it chocolate.

**Ain’t nothing simple about chocolate. Well done. **

You find yourself stranded in a dark alley at night. Doesn’t matter how you got there, because it’s too late. You’re there. Shit’s happening. Focus! Okay, you have to make a decision. There is no escape. If you don’t decide, one of your loved ones gets it bad. Okay? We’re clear? Good. So, you’re confronted by a werewolf, a zombie, a god and a vampire. The only way out is to let one of these bad boys (or girls) turn you. Which do you choose? Why?

Definitely a vampire, mostly because I am so familiar with them and know what I’m getting into. At least, I’ll look good for the rest of eternity.

**Looking good is why I would also choose vampire…or god. I’m torn.**

Justin Timberlake, Forrest Gump, Lady Gaga and the Mad Hatter walk into a bar. What happens next?

Lady Gaga has a poodle under one arm and a 2-foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table.

Timberlake asks, “Can I get you a drink?”

Forrest Gump proceeds to feed his box of chocolates to the poodle. The Mad Hatter watches with glee as the dog starts whimpering and suddenly there is an explosion out of the hind end of the dog.

The Mad Hatter says, “Oh, shit!”

(This is kind of my homage to The Breakfast Club and the unanswered joke Judd Nelson tells in the middle of the movie.)

**Gigglesnort**

Writers are often labeled as weird, crazy or slightly strange, but we all know that’s not true. Still, it’s hard not to have some eccentricities when you spend so much time in your head. What’s one strange fact about yourself that readers might find a little crazy or odd?

I have this obsession about the icons on the screen of my computer. I can’t stand having them in standard lists. So, every time I get a new computer, I arrange the icons in the form of a sideways pyramid. The base of the pyramid is to the left and the point is to the right.
**Yep, I’ll confirm that’s weird. **

When I create a character, I usually have a notebook where I jot down details about his or her personality and appearance. For example, when I was working on Thanatos, god of Death, I had things like “socially retarded” and “tall, dark and delicious” (yes, seriously) jotted in my notes. Imagine yourself as a character you’ve created.  How would you write your description? Would you be a hero or a villain?

Frumpy in look, but having a gregarious personality. Can cut you to the bone with carefully chosen words when angry, but extremely loyal to friends. Loves Indian food and chocolate. Anti-hero. Will defend herself to the utmost degree when attacked.

I love words and cutting…what? Oh, yes. So, Danielle is all over the Internets, should you care for a little harmless stalking. Find her on Twitter, Facebook, Goodreads, or her blog.  Not into stalking? Good for you. Go straight to her books. Click on the images to find them on Amazon.

http://amzn.com/B00CJHO7D8">

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Her latest book, Sorrow’s Point, (look at the gorgeous cover below) was just released this week by Crescent Moon Press.

 

And if you like blog tours, check out Danielle’s running all week at the following spots:

 

Oct 15 http://tyrneathem.com/

Oct 16 http://fuonlyknew.com/

Oct 17 http://www.sarahaisling.com/

Oct 18 http://doingsomereading.wordpress.com/

Oct 21 http://www.1bookloversopinion.com/

Oct 22 http://cabingoddess.com/

 

Tagged: books, Danielle DeVor, humor, interviews, Sorrow's Point, Team Lestat, the old in and out, writing

The Old In and Out: Penetrating the Writer Brain: S.M. Carrière

Born in 1983 in Quito, Ecuador, S.M. Carrière has lived in five countries around the world including Ecuador, Gabon and The Philippines. Her family moved to Australia from The Philippines shortly after the commencement of hostilities there in 1989.

She worked full time as an Office Junior at a law firm in Brisbane, Queensland before moving to Canada in 2001. In 2002 she began her academic career beginning in Criminology, but switching to Directed Interdisciplinary Studies (focusing on Prehistoric Anthropology and Archaeology) after her first year. She graduated with a B.A. Hon from Carleton University in 2007.

Are you not fascinated yet? She’s also an artist, drawing and painting as her schedule allows and she trains Kung Fu and Kickboxing as well as Equestrian Archery. Holy skills, Batman!

I met S.M. Carrière many moons ago on Goodreads, and I’m ecstatic that she let me penetrate her brain. So let’s get to it.

 

Renee: I firmly believe that every author has a character she’s secretly in love with, whether it’s one of your own, or one created by another author. Give us a name, and tell us what makes him/her so fantastic?

Sonia: Sparhawk.  This man was the protagonist of David Eddings’ Elenium series.  I fell in love with him right away.  An older knight in exile who was in love with the young queen he once protected, Sparhawk was not your typical knightly knight.  Oh yes, he ascribed to a lofty moral code, but this man was not pretty, and he wasn’t beneath petty tricks and the occasional fist fight.  He had a large scar on his face, and a broken nose that was never set correctly.  And he had a viciously tempered roan mount.  They’re the best kinds of mounts.  Sigh.  I will never not love Sparhawk.

**I too love a viciously tempered mount…**

Purple prose is kind of annoying. All those heaving bosoms, moist caves, and gloriously pulsating love clubs can overwhelm a reader. Some authors can add purple and create a pretty cool effect, or they use it to add a bit of humor. Describe your favorite food in a purple way.

The skin sizzles with heat, filling the room with a heady scent that sets the mouth watering.  It is perfect – hot to the touch and a delicious, juicy pink inside.  Anticipation fills the air as the soft pink interior is exposed and her mouth moves near.  She can taste it already.  That taste is strong, bestial.  It sets the pulse racing as her perfectly painted red lips part allowing the wondrous, meaty morsel between them and into the soft warmth of her mouth.  She flicks her tongue against it, worried she might burn.  Oh, the taste!  Unable to hold back, she opens her lips wider.  Her mouth fills with with an explosion of meaty juice as she bites down on… roast lamb.

Ugh!  I’m not much good at purple.  I tried.

**It’s more lilac than purple, but good effort. J **

Fantasy is a vast genre, so authors have a lot of inspiration for stories and characters. My personal favorites are gods and (yes, I’ll admit it) vampires. I could never write about werewolves and be perfectly happy, because I just don’t get the allure. If you were told you could never write about one type of character again (under penalty of torture, dismemberment and then death), which one would you throw off the cliff?

Vampires.  I’m just so sick of them, throwing them off a cliff would actually be mightily satisfying – most especially if there is a pit of stakes waiting for them after their short flight.  It’s ironic because I’m part way through writing a vampire story myself.  I’m currently very displeased with my brain.

**B-but Eric and Lestat and all the awesome! Sniff.**

This one is easy: What author would you most like to spend time with (for whatever reason and no you don’t have to share the reason) and what would you ask him/her?

This one is NOT easy!  There are so many!  I only get one?  Alright… I’m a bit of a Steven Erikson fan-girl.  Seriously.  I push his books onto everyone I meet.  I’d like to sit down and chat about everything and anything with this guy.  There are two reasons, really.  The first is that he’s a brilliant fantasy author.  I’m not being hyperbolic.  He really is brilliant.  The second is because he also happens to be a professor of Anthropology and Archaeology – two of the most intensely interesting subjects I studied in University.  No doubt we’d end up chatting about that mostly.

**We shall ignore that you didn’t technically answer the question.**

Writing routines are recommended by the “experts.” I have some things I always do before and while writing that help me focus. For example, there must be coffee and an ugly housecoat involved. Music is also important. What’s the most important (or strangest) part of your writing routine?

I write to music, especially modern full orchestral composers like Two Steps From Hell or Thomas Bergersen.  That music is epic.  Truly.  It’s like listening to the score of an epic fantasy/science fiction film/video game that hasn’t yet been filmed.  The most recent completed novel was written entirely to the music that a Mexican singer-songwriter I discovered via YouTube.  Her stage name is Malukah, and I highly recommend you check her out.  She is exceptionally talented.

Music puts me into the groove.  If the music sets the right mood, I can, and have been known to, write all day and forget the fact that I need to eat.  Or sleep.

**Makes note of Malukah**

You find yourself stranded in a dark alley at night. Doesn’t matter how you got there, because it’s too late. You’re there. Shit’s happening. Focus! Okay, you have to make a decision. There is no escape. If you don’t decide, one of your loved ones gets it bad. Okay? We’re clear? Good. So, you’re confronted by a werewolf, a zombie, a demon, and a vampire. The only way out is to let one of these bad boys (or girls) turn you. Which do you choose? Why?

 Oooooh!  Hmmm…

Let’s see.  Werewolves change every full moon.  With the exception of modern story developments, they don’t really have any say in the matter, and will attack pretty much anyone without hesitation.  I’m too much of a control freak to find that appealing.

Zombies are cool, but mindless.  I value my brains too much to opt for that.

Demon sounds like fun.  They’re powerful, often extremely sexy and sexual.  But then, demons can also be summoned and bound into slavish servitude….

After much deliberation, I’ll have to go with vampire (even though I just said that I’m sick to death of them).  There is something to be said about the sexual allure of vampires – and they can kick arse.  Also, I quite like the fact that they generally aren’t bound like demons.  In fact, they can quasi-hypnotise humans to be their slavish thralls.  So yeah… vampire is sounding more and more appealing.  Crap.

**Because vampires are awesome.**

Justin Timberlake, Forrest Gump, Lady Gaga and the Mad Hatter walk into a bar. What happens next?

They all fall to the ground slightly concussed and very confused as to why there is a random bar there, and how none of them saw it before walking right into it.

*Giggle**

Writers are often labeled as weird, crazy or slightly strange, but we all know that’s not true. Still, it’s hard not to have some eccentricities when you spend so much time in your head. What’s one strange fact about yourself that readers might find a little crazy or odd?

Readers may not find this odd, but I’m sure people I pass by on the street do…  I tend to act out scenes to myself as they come into my head.  I’ll be doing my thing, muttering both sides of a fictional conversation to myself as the imaginary scene plays out in my mind.  It’s become so reflexive that I find it incredibly difficult to control, and will just randomly start mumbling in odd public places… on my walks to and from work… on the bus… in the grocery store…

I’m sure to the outside eye I look completely unstable!  I’m truly not. *twitch* *twitch*

**You mean that’s not normal?**

When I create a character, I usually have a notebook where I jot down details about his or her personality and appearance. For example, when I was working on Thanatos, god of Death, I had things like “socially retarded” and “tall, dark and delicious” (yes, seriously) jotted in my notes. Imagine yourself as a character you’ve created.  How would you write your description? Would you be a hero or a villain?

I’m fairly certain that were I a fictional character I would probably the smart-arse tough gal who continually plays second fiddle to the actual hero of the story.  I wouldn’t be a hero so much as someone who helps the hero along… grudgingly.

I’d also probably lie about my build just a bit because, well, it’s fiction.  I can be any shape I want, damn it!  And my eyes would be green instead of the weird muddy brownish hazel they are now.  I’ve always loved green eyes.

**But those secondary characters are often the BEST characters. So there’s that.**

A strange man walks into your house. (It might happen) He’s wearing a wedding dress, which is covered in dirt and a mystery material that looks kind of like snot, but it’s blue, and he’s carrying a shovel with a bloody handle. What happens next?

Actually – true story – a strange man did walk into my house once.  He was very drunk, and obviously in the wrong place.  After a brief, confusing standoff, he turned around and left, kicking the tyre of my flatmate’s car on the way.  It was very odd.  To this day I still have no idea who he was looking for.  But that’s not the question!

If the man you described walked into my house, my first response would be to grab my bow (I have a 43lb traditional recurve bow.  I’ve named her Eilir.  It’s Welsh.  It means butterfly) and demand to know what he wants.

I’m generally not very trusting.

**I want a bow.**

What genre do you prefer to write? Why? Is it different from the genre you enjoy reading?

I tend to write fantasy.  It’s not really a preference, it’s just what comes out.  I have written a sci fi though, and also an urban fantasy, and I’m currently writing a paranormal story.

Speculative Fiction is something a read a great deal of and the non-fiction I read just lends itself so well to that particular kind of fiction (I read an awful lot about prehistoric anthropology, archaeology, myth and folklore.  Non-fiction in these areas are excellent sources of new and interesting information for my imagination to twist).

There.  I hope that was at least mildly entertaining.  Thanks for sending me these.  I really had to stop and think!

 

You were extremely entertaining! I love having you on The Edge.  The rest of you can find S.M. Carrière on her blog, where she has a very cool “Your Very Own Adventure” project going on. She’s also on Facebook and Twitter. Her books (look at the haunting covers below) are available here.

Tagged: authors, fun, humor, interviews, SM Carriere, the old in and out, writing

NaNoWriMo Again: I’m Nuts, But You All Knew That

I’ve decided to try NaNoWriMo again, partly because I’m insane and partly because LUCKY, my first NaNoWriMo novel was the first book I’ve had picked up by a publisher and I think I’m fucking with Fate or something mystical and cruel by not doing it.

Okay, I’m just nuts.

Anyway, this year I’ve decide to go with a fun plot idea again. With LUCKY I pretty much pantsed the last half, because I didn’t have an outline in time. Coupled with the pressure of 50K words in 30 days, not having an outline is just more pressure than I can handle. So my newest future WIP will have a loose outline, which is almost done. The genre is absurdist/paranormal/sci-fi.

And now you’re like, “What the…?”

Well the title is “OBAMANATION” and I don’t want to give too much away because I think it’s brilliant, even if no publisher out there will ever touch it, and I don’t want to ruin the mojo. I don’t know how telling you all about it will ruin it. I just know it will.

But I think I can tell you a little. Just a brief summary. Okay? Cool.

You know how the Americans don’t have biological weapons? Well none of us are supposed to have them, but we all know our governments are lying, SO… the Americans in my story have been naughty. They’ve been conducting some very sketchy research.

What is the research about? Can’t tell you that. I can tell you the Americans create three monsters, which I refer to as a trio of patient zeroes. One suffers from a peanut allergy, the second suffers from nymphomania, and the third has narcolepsy. These factors are important, but I can’t tell you why. Then the president unleashes his weapons in Canada.

Just for shits and giggles.

The American government then shuts all its borders with Canada and the American navy prevents us from leaving by sea. Oh yeah, the Yanks are serious about this shit not getting out. We all think it’s the apocalypse.

Anyway, the apocalypse we think is happening begins when the three weapons attack one man. He survives, but a virus is born and chaos ensues. That’s all I can tell you about that.

Later on, the true plot is revealed, including the president’s real identity and the mastermind behind it all. There will also be a smidge of romance, because I like romance and a sex scene or four is the only way to keep the story’s heroine from getting infected.

Oh yes, the key to vaccination against the virus is smegma. What’s smegma? HERE.

Aren’t you glad you learned something new? If you already knew what smegma was, then you’re cool. I didn’t know until Carlos suggested it as an immunity factor. Carlos is awesome. But so are Kurt and Katrina and my kids, all of whom helped me iron out the plot details. We’re all nuts, so it was perfect.

However, before I can embark on this NaNoWriMo journey, I have to finish the second book in the FLOG series, CUNNING. It’s about 2/3 finished, so I’m in the usual slump. Preparing for NaNoWriMo gives me a little kick in the ass, which is very much needed.

Anyone else doing NaNoWriMo?

Tagged: absurdist, apocalypse, biological warfare, humor, insanity, NaNoWriMo, Obamanation

Just a Little Word That Is Not Telling You What to Blog About, Because It’s Your Blog, Not Mine

 

While I understand that advice columns are there for the confused masses, there are way too many writing advice articles out there as it is. Sure, it’s find to share what’s worked for you, but at what point are you just blowing your words into the wind?

I think the advice that irritates me the most (personally) are the articles about what you should write in your blog. YOUR. BLOG. Do you see the caps there? Yeah. I don’t think you need advice about what to include in your blog because it should be your choice? Sure, you might write something stupid, but that’s okay. Sometimes we write stupid shit.

I write a lot about writing. It’s what interests me the most. I would write about my family, because I kind of like them most of the time too, but they’re not that interesting to other people. I write about my town, because Tweed is fascinating, and about current events, articles, industry shit, and sometimes just a post of tips designed to make you giggle. I now interview other authors and sometimes I write about nothing at all.

Apparently, I’m making ALL THE MISTAKES when it comes to my blog. It would explain why I’m not overwhelmed with followers, but I’m okay with the cozy few of you that enjoy my rambling enough to click the follow button. I’d love to have more, but would I change the way I blog to do so? Not likely. At least not in the ways I’ve been told to change it, because I disagree with most of the blog advice I’ve received so far.

As a writer I’ve been told my blog shouldn’t be about my family. Why not? I get 50% of my material from them. And my blog is where I connect with both writers AND readers, so it’s important to share a bit of my personal life in there. I love reading author blogs that offer some insights into the person behind the books. I don’t write often or in great detail about my personal life, but to say such posts are a mistake? Meh. I just disagree. While no one wants to hear about your adorable kids, hottie hubby, or your 58 cats every damn day; if it relates to the theme of your blog, I say go for it.

I’ve read advice that says we shouldn’t blog about writing. Well, what the hell am I, a writer, supposed to write about in my WRITER blog? You know, that makes no sense. Of course readers don’t care about writing, but they want to know a little about the author’s process. So go ahead, share now and then. I think the key is “now and then.” If your blog is all writing tips all the time, well that’s boring. Sorry. Chuck Wendig’s blog is the only place I’ve read about writing almost every time I visit and been thoroughly entertained. So, unless you’re Chuck, you should mix it up a little. Well, even he mixes it up. So there. Proof.

Moving on. Someone advised me to just write about what makes me passionate. This same person also said I shouldn’t write about writing.

…

Okay then. Sure you should write about the things that make you all tingly and shit, and if that includes writing, include it. If your blog ONLY includes writing, well maybe you should expand your horizons a little. Get a couple of hobbies. Make a friend. When you write about a single topic, such as your publishing journey and how hard it is, then folks kind of get annoyed. If you’re a downer all the time, no one wants to be around you, and they won’t read your blog. It’s okay to share a bad day. It’s okay to share your frustration. Rants are fantastic. Just don’t make that the only thing you share.

I should also say that this advice is sound, even if I disagree with in “in general.” You see, if you’re wanting a shit ton of traffic, you’re going to need a blog that appeals to a diverse crowd; readers, writers, doctors, lawyers, moms, dads, young adults, kids (if you like kids)—basically everyone in the whole world. But this doesn’t have to be limiting. Really, if you’re trying to appeal to a diverse crowd, the only “don’t” should be “Don’t limit yourself to one topic.” Write about books, writing, family, assholes, politics (not for the weak-kneed), sex, television, the skeevy guy at the post office; whatever floats your boat. Try to reach out to everyone. Now, you can’t do that with each post. My God, that’d be nuts. But you can reach out to a small portion with each post, so that over time, those posts combine to interest a range of reader types.

 

Tagged: advice, blogging, Chuck Wendig, rambling, tips, writing

Redneck Crazy: Horrible Combination in Real Life, but in Fiction: Brilliant

 

I think I’ve said this before, but my favorite character to write is the one everyone loves to hate. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because I have more freedom with these characters. I try to make them so they’re irritating, appalling, nasty and all that, but also impossible to fully despise. This isn’t easy either. There are many elements involved in creating a character the reader hates, but secretly roots for.

For those that aren’t sure what I mean, I’ll give you some examples from film and books you all might know: Crowley from SUPERNATURAL, Lestat from INTERVIEW WITH A VAMPIRE, Eric and Pam, from the Sookie Stackhouse novels, or Hannibal… yes, seriously. Love that character.

Perhaps Jackson Murphy is the best example from my work, because he’s the one I’ve introduced to everyone, but I have more. Aedon and Corbyn in ANCIENT BLOOD, Dionysus in LUCKY (and also the second book in the series, CUNNING), Thomas from DIRTY TRUTHS, Eris in the almost written NEFARIOUS, and there are many more.

So how do I do it? What’s the secret to creating a character that should be unlikeable, yet the reader loves him anyway?

Two things: Redneck and crazy.

If you’ve read/watched these characters, you’d be all, “Um…they aren’t rednecks, Renee. And some of them seem perfectly sane to me.”

You’d be right. They aren’t redneck, nor are they crazy. But they have elements of each in their personality.

Rednecks aren’t bad folks. I’m more than a little redneck, and I don’t think I’m bad… right? Doesn’t matter. Merriam-Webster’s dictionary described redneck as:

“a white person who lives in a small town or in the country especially in the southern U.S., who typically has a working-class job, and who is seen by others as being uneducated and having opinions and attitudes that are offensive; sometimes disparaging:  a white member of the Southern rural laboring class; often disparaging:  a person whose behavior and opinions are similar to those attributed to rednecks”

My definition of redneck is only one small part in that definition: having opinions and attitudes that are offensive. This is usually a trait that gets a person labeled as redneck. It doesn’t mean they’re wrong or bad, they just have opinions or an attitude other folks can’t handle and lack the filter that tells them to shut their damn mouths. Your list of rednecks just got longer, didn’t it?

Now, crazy… what defines crazy? Let’s see what Merriam-Webster says

 

“1 a:  full of cracks or flaws :  unsound;  b:  crooked, askew

2 a:  mad, insane; b  (1) :  impractical (2) :  erratic; c :  being out of the ordinary :  unusual

3 a :  distracted with desire or excitement b :  absurdly fond :  infatuated; c :  passionately preoccupied :  obsessed:  to an extreme degree

Crazy doesn’t mean the character is bonkers to the point of losing touch with reality. It might mean he’s become obsessed with something, like himself, or he’s a little eccentric, or maybe he chucked his neighbor in a hole he dug in the garden, but is otherwise a decent sort. So? Did your crazy list get longer? At least one element from these two things are always in my “bad” guys, and then I temper them with something the reader can’t resist, like a killer sense of humor or a soft heart. I don’t have to add much, because many of the redneck crazy traits are kind of hard to hate, considering we ALL have at least a couple of them ourselves.

Tagged: characters, crazy, humor, rednecks, villains, writing

The Old In and Out: Penetrating the Writer Brain: Alythia Brown

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m having way too much fun penetrating everyone’s brain. We have a two-for this week. Welcome, Alythia Brown, author of DAKOTA CAPTIVE, just released this month by Crescent Moon Press.

Alythia Brown was born and raised in the San Francisco Bay Area, where she now lives with her husband and their three small children. She found her inspiration to write Dakota Captive after traveling to North Dakota to return an authentic peace pipe to the Lakota Natives. The artifact had been picked up after the Massacre of Wounded Knee in 1890, and eventually ended up in the hands of one of her ancestors—who, in turn, told everyone it was a wagon spoke. Alythia is the author of two short stories, published in the Mertales anthology, and she aspires to publish many more books for children, teens, and young adults.

So, now that you’ve all met Alythia, let’s dig inside her head.

 

Renee: I firmly believe that every author has a character she’s secretly in love with, whether it’s one of your own, or one created by another author. Give us a name, and tell us what makes him/her so fantastic?

Alythia: Jamie from Outlander. A chiseled, hot, and powerful man with a Scottish accent? What’s not to love?

**I did enjoy Jamie too. What is it about guys with accents?**

What genre have you never written, but secretly want to try?

I’ve had a women’s contemporary fiction idea rolling around in my head for quite some time, but we’ll see if I can resist the urge to revert back to fantasy when I get the chance!

**My advice: Write it. Even if you do nothing with it, you learn a lot about yourself and your writing when you step outside your “genre box.”**

The apocalypse has arrived. You have one hope of survival, and he’s kind of “undead.” What’s the plan?

Step one: sleep with a rifle in my hands at all times in case he decides to change his mind and eat me. Step two: find and administer a zombie antidote for my dear undead friend. Either EpiPen to the thigh or pill form hidden in a piece of ham—I haven’t decided. Step three: after a few harsh days of zombie detox, we set out with antizombie guns, loaded with the antidote to undeadify the undead like a couple of badasses. Hopefully, this turns the tide of the zombie apocalypse. Otherwise, we could just go grab drinks and toast to the end of the world.

**Best answer to that question so far. **

Fantasy is a vast genre, so authors have a lot of inspiration for stories and characters. My personal favorites are gods and (yes, I’ll admit it) vampires. I could never write about werewolves and be perfectly happy, because I just don’t get the allure. If you were told you could never write about one type of character again (under penalty of torture, dismemberment and then death), which one would you throw off the cliff?

That’s tough… I guess, if I’m risking torture, dismemberment, and death, trolls would have to go. I figure either a giant or a goblin or some kind of giant-goblin-hybrid could get the job done.

This one is easy: What author would you most like to spend time with (for whatever reason and no you don’t have to share the reason) and what would you ask him/her?

Louisa May Alcott. But I WILL share the reason! I’ve always thought it was neat that she’s a distant cousin of mine and we are/were both writers! (Plus, I’ve always been a little more on the Tom Boy side, too.) I think I would ask her if she would like to know anything about the future because she died before women gained suffrage. I think, given her history of activism, she would have been happy to know that was right around the corner.

**Very cool.**

Writing routines are recommended by the “experts.” I have some things I always do before and while writing that help me focus. For example, there must be coffee and an ugly housecoat involved. Music is also important. What’s the most important (or strangest) part of your writing routine?

I never intended for this to be part of my writing routine, but apparently it is: a flyswatter or a flipflop. I write in the evening and after a day of shooing his friends outside there’s always one last, aggressive (and possibly vengeful) little fly buzzing around in the silence, landing on my computer, and darting by my face. He’s always the fastest, loudest fly ever, which especially pisses me off when I’m trying to concentrate and I make vows to kill him, and his children, and his children’s children…

**Oh. My. God. I had the same thing happen this summer. This giant fly was always buzzing around my computer. I never got him. I’m assuming he’s just died off or went south or whatever. **

What’s the worst piece of advice you’ve ever been given about writing?

I think the one thing that has bothered me the most over the years wasn’t necessarily bad advice. It was actually a lack of advice. I had a critique partner return my work without a single note. Instead, he had rewritten the entire thing in his own words! To me, that was more offensive than helpful. I can take criticism—actually, I welcome a healthy round of feedback—but I didn’t like the reviewer’s smug reaction, as though I should have thanked him for taking over the “mess” I had created.

You find yourself stranded in a dark alley at night. Doesn’t matter how you got there, because it’s too late. You’re there. Shit’s happening. Focus! Okay, you have to make a decision. There is no escape. If you don’t decide, one of your loved ones gets it bad. Okay? We’re clear? Good. So, you’re confronted by a werewolf, a zombie, a demon, and a vampire. The only way out is to let one of these bad boys (or girls) turn you. Which do you choose? Why?

Okay, zombie and demon are out. Zombie’s a no because I would hate to walk around that slow all of the time, moaning like an idiot. Demon’s a no because it seems a little too dark for my personality. So it’s a toss up between vampire and werewolf (still both admittedly dark if I have to eat people, but regardless…) Of the two, I’m leaning toward the werewolf. How fun would it be to run super fast through the woods at night? 

**I still can’t get past the bone-cracking transformation and body hair.**

Writers are often labeled as weird, crazy or slightly strange, but we all know that’s not true. Still, it’s hard not to have some eccentricities when you spend so much time in your head. What’s one strange fact about yourself that readers might find a little crazy or odd?

Wait. So we’re going forward on the premise that writers are not weird, crazy or slightly strange. Got it. So assuming that I am entirely normal with a few exceptions, I would say my one, and only, odd behavior is that I totally talk to myself. Full on monologue in the kitchen while I’m doing dishes style. I like to make people laugh and I guess the more theatrical side of me takes over when I’m bored and alone because I feel like once the house is silent, I still need to entertain the dogs or ghosts or whomever may be listening… Huh. Maybe that last part was a little too much crazy to share.

The supers have been getting restless, and somehow they’ve created a vamp-zombie-fairy hybrid. If you had to write this character, what would it be like? Which “powers” would it have and would it be bad or good?

My vamp-zombie-fairy hybrid is small and silent, like a fairy, with lacy, black wings and hair. Her skin is an iridescent purple and her eyes are bright green. She is known for stunning her prey by sucking their blood and then devouring the carcass. Though she makes grown men afraid to wander in the woods because of her lethal appetite, she can be captured and made to serve her abductors with magic. If you can catch a glimpse of her in water and call out her name, she is yours. Just don’t ever let her find a pen and paper. If she can write your name one hundred times on the same sheet, the magical bond will be broken. As vengeances, she will probably kill you in your sleep.

You must write this character if you haven’t already. Love it!

Find out more about Alythia and her books (one of which you can see below) on her website. If you care to follow her a bit, she’s on Twitter and Facebook too.

Tagged: Alythia Brown, authors, Dakota Captive, fun, interviews, the old in and out

Writers are People Too, and Sometimes We Do Stuff; Hard Stuff

Have you ever felt like you were stuck on one of those spinny rides? You know the ones at the park, with the round bottom and the posts you hang onto for dear life as the ride goes round and round, faster and faster, until some fucknut jumps off or sticks his foot out and everyone else ends up with whiplash or a smashed nose?

Why do kids even like those things?

Anyway, that’s how being a writer feels most of the time (for me). I’m sure everyone’s life is like that at some point. It’s like I’m spinning and then shit gets really fast and sometimes it’s exhilarating and I’m breathless thinking this is the ride spin so fast the whole thing will just take off.

Then some fucknut jumps off or sticks his foot out and I’m back where I started. Only now I’m a little bit nauseous and afraid to get back on.

But I do. Every time I get back on the ride, I believe this one will be different. But that fucknut is always there to send it off course. Sometimes I’m that fucknut, I’ll admit it. Sometimes it’s an intangible force. Sometimes it’s an actual fucknut.

I realize as I get off the ride for the hundredth time that it always ends the same way. It can’t do that forever, right? That wouldn’t be fair.

But that’s life.

I’ve been plugging away at this “dream” of writing for a really long time. I’ve made writing my day job, published two of my books, ran a website for writers, and I’ve got a contract with a small press (which I’m very excited about),  which is all actually pretty impressive. You wouldn’t know it if you asked my family, because they think I do nothing all day long, but anyone in the industry knows it’s not easy writing fiction OR content for magazines, newspapers, websites, etc. It’s work.

Although I know that I work hard, I find myself looking for a job. I’ll still do the writing, but I feel as though this being home all day every day is… lazy. So maybe if I go to an actual job, where people see me and see that I’m physically working, they’ll stop treating me like I’m some lazy shit mooching off of my “man.” It’s wrong. I know it is, but Jesus I’m so sick of it. Instead of getting angry about it, I’m doing something to stop it. I don’t need any more bodies in my yard.

This sounds like whining. I’m not whining. I’m hoping that other writers who feel like this understand they aren’t alone, and anyone who isn’t a writer, but knows one understands how the negativity feels.

I knew that writing as a career is a bit of a stretch as a goal. I understand that it really does look like I sit around all day having heaps of fun. No one sees the hours of researching that goes into the content I publish online. No one sees the hours of editing I do on both my fiction and my articles. No one hears the constant chatter in my head as my voices remind me that I have to get this done before the deadline, promote the books, promote other authors, but also find time to get that chapter finished, or to beta read for this friend or that, or clean the toilets, do the laundry, cook supper (if we can call that destruction cooking), do something with my kids, buy groceries, take the dogs out, mop the floors… All you see is me home every day. I’d think the same thing if I didn’t actually do all of that. Yes, some days I spend the entire day in the garage writing and doing marketing shit, and nothing gets done in the house. Now and then I take a day and do nothing at all. I believe those are called “weekends” for the working folks.  

But most days I get up at 5:30am, and I write or housewife until 9 or 10pm. I take the occasional ten minute break and play Candy Crush or something equally stupid, and sometimes I take longer and just watch a movie or take a shower. But that’s so my head doesn’t explode.

Writers reading this blog are probably nodding their heads, whether you have a “real” job or not. Readers are probably rolling their eyes, because here’s another writer trying to justify my glamorous and carefree life full of pajama pant days and such. I get that. It’s okay.

But next time you meet someone who “works from home” or who says “I’m a writer,” or who tells you they want to be this or that, how about you encourage them instead of criticizing or making assumptions. And when they manage to get a little closer to their dream, be excited for them. It’s not easy to do what you love instead of what you “should.” It takes guts, passion, and perseverance, no matter what the goal is. Some people get so much negativity or doubtful comments about their goals and dreams from those they love that they give up. I’m not that person, but I have to say, I’ve been tempted. It’s not fun having people look at your or speak to you as though you’re “less than” because you chose to follow your dreams.

I’m giving into the negativity a little, I guess, in looking for a job, but sometimes we have to be grownups. I don’t like it, but that’s what I’m doing. It’ll free up more time for other things, because I won’t be spending as many hours writing content. I hope. And I won’t be walking around with this big ball of pissed off in my gut because everyone looks at me “like that.” I hope.

Tagged: day jobs, dreams, encouragement, goals, life, writing