Horror for Newbies

Wednesday Martin's Blog, page 9

May 13, 2015

Hard Cover Copies of Primates of Park Avenue Are Here!

Do you heart New York, or just want to know about what really goes on here? If so you will heart this book...

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Published on May 13, 2015 08:29

May 14, 2013

May 9, 2013

April 18, 2013

March 2, 2013

Interview on Stepfamily Central

Talking through stepfamily dynamics with Rachelle Katz...


Dr. Rachelle Katz has a new radio show on Stepfamily Central and I was lucky to be her first guest. We talked about the word “blended” and the need for public support for and a public education campaign about what stepfamilies are really like. Hope you will have a listen…







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Published on March 02, 2013 07:04

February 14, 2013

Happily Ever After…

Today and everyday. Especially if there are step/kids!



Maybe. On Valentine’s Day, remember one key to a successful repartnership with children: prioritizing and nurturing the couple bond. Remarriages or reparnterships with children are remarkably fragile and rates of divorce and dissolution are high. Child-centric parenting and step parenting doesn’t help. Too often, couples with the best intentions focus on the happiness of the step/kids of any age to such an extent, they forget to pay attention to their own. Turn that dynamic around today and every day.





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Published on February 14, 2013 05:35

January 23, 2013

“Blended is Bollocks!”

Blended? No. Modern? Veddy veddy!


I am now contributing to the Daily Telegraph’s Mother Tongue column, writing on step”family” issues. For starters, can we please stop using a term that not only doesn’t describe steplife accurately, but also makes many of us feel inadequate? Hope you will have a read….and leave a comment.







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Published on January 23, 2013 06:53

January 14, 2013

December 24, 2012

Piling the pressure on women in stepfamilies this holiday season….

Don't let ridiculous expectations tangle you up this holiday season



I have heard from a number of you about Judith Graham’s story in the Dec 24th issue of the New York Times health section. This is the kind of story the media loves, about “co-wives” who get along great and become BFFs. Sure, it’s a nice and heartwarming story of one woman caring for another. Unfortunately, the media’s fixation with these types of stories about “the ex wife and the new wife who are best pals,” and the readers’ comments–”Most divorced people I know stay friends after,” etc.–naively and damagingly imply that repartnership with children is “easy” if everybody is just “nice.” And that, if you don’t have your parnter’s ex for the holidays (or to your wedding), and if you aren’t “close,” there is something “wrong” with you.

Anyone who studies stepfamily dynamics knows these standards are absurd, but social pressure can be tremendous. Buck the pressure this holiday season by surrounding yourself with your friends who understand and support you; having realistic expectations about stepfamily dynamics; and rejecting the requirement that looking, feeling and acting “just like a first family” and being close to your husband’s ex are the only meaningful measures of partnership or stepfamily success. No, Virginia, there is no requirement that you work miracles this holiday season. Just enjoy! xx wednesday







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Published on December 24, 2012 11:43

December 18, 2012

Can you help this reader? “What if the adult step kids won’t speak to their stepmother?”

Have you been in her shoes?



A reader of my psychology today.com stepmonster blog posted a question about the situation in her household with her husband’s adult children. The link is here





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Published on December 18, 2012 15:46