Wednesday Martin's Blog, page 23

Live Interview On Wednesday Jan 6th–Author Exposure/BlogTalk Radio

Let's talk about being a woman with stepchildren on Wednesday January 6 at 12:30 EST

Please tune in for my live interview on Author Exposure/BlogTalk Radio this Wednesday January 6th at 12:30 p.m. Host Traci Green and I will discuss Stepmonster and stepmother reality. She's dating a man with kids–get ready to dish!

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/catch-that-book

Stepmonster in the New York Times

The very public return of Sean Goldman to his father David Goldman (Sean is pictured with his Brazilian stepfather, Joao Paulo Lins e Silva

New York Times reporter and blogger Lisa Belkin based her Motherlode column today on a piece I recently wrote for Psychology Today about Sean Goldman (the 9-year-old boy who was recently reunited with his father after his mother moved with him to Brazil in 2004). Please have a read and leave a comment on the NYTimes or Psychology Today website. Thanks!

Holiday Tip #9 for Stepmothers from Reader Kim–Stop Being a Stepmother

How good would it feel to step away from stepmothering for a few hours or a day? Give it a try.

This tip is born from the concerns of a number of readers who have been emailing me about holiday worries, dramas, and tribulations. It seems that the holidays can bring out the worst when it comes to charged relations with exes; "visitation shenanigans" as one reader puts it; and unresolved issues between us and stepkinder.

If it gets stressful over the next days, take a minute to remind yourself t...

Holiday Tip #8

From Peggy Nolan, this tip you need!! See my blog roll to the right for Peggy's site, the Stepmom's Toolbox. Full of great information, advice, and upbeat perspectives on stepmothering. Peggy Says…

Peggy Nolan says you should do this over the holidays. She's right.

"Carve out 30 minutes to YOURSELF each day. Meditate, go for a walk, read, soak in a hot bubble bath (with a glass of wine if you choose), practice a few rounds of Sun Salutation - do something for you that recharges your batteries, ...

Holiday Countdown–Reader Tips 5, 6, and 7

Call for reinforcements. Banish Rumination. And unplug the Christmas tree. You'll be glad you did.

I have three quick tips for you today, culled from experts including stepmothers in the trenches.

As the holidays get into high gear, the following three steps can help…

1. Bulwark PL advises: "Spend holiday time with your girlfriends." Great advice. And sound. The women with stepchildren I interviewed for my book often described feeling outnumbered and overwhelmed at "all family" events if they ...

Holiday Countdown–Tip #4 (from reader Eyes Wide Open): Keep Your Serotonin Levels Up!

This serotonin molecule doesn't look festive--but it's the key to holiday happiness. Guess how you make it?

Reader Eyes Wide Open has this to say about how she gets through the holidays with her sanity intact:

"Exercise!!! We try not to get stressed at the holidays because this season is such a lovely time and we enjoy the season so much more than the day - it's hard to enjoy if everything is all stressed. This year has been tough with my husband not working much (and not receiving...

Mary Kelly Williams Stepmonster Support Group

Mary Kelly-Williams, stepfamily therapist

Those people out in Boulder have all the fun. They get to live near the mountains, do workshops at the Naropa Institute–and get their heads adjusted by Mary Kelly-Williams. On December 15 Mary hosted a Stepmonster get-together, offering women with stepchildren company, sympathy, and insights galore. I'm told it was eye-opening and fun. Wish I could have been there. Thanks Mary for all you do for stepfamilies, and to everyone who was there! Anyone who i...

Holiday Survival Tip #3–Let Someone Else Do It! (Thanks Mary, Talia, and Kela!)

You over the holidays. Just lose the cigarette.

Today's tip comes to you courtesy of Talia and Mary (thanks to you both) as well as Kela Price, one of my favorite stepmom coaches, of www.blendefamilysoapopera.com

It is: Let someone else do it!

Talia says that after bad behavior from her stepkids around gifts the last few years, "I am taking a laid-back, hands-off approach this year." She's letting their dad choose their gifts. I suggest she also let him wrap them and, if Talia and her husband ...

Holiday Countdown Tip #2: Prioritize Sex, Romance, and Couple Time

Mistletoe. You know what to do.

Thanks for all your tips. Please keep them coming. Today's tip comes courtesy of Susan and PL. Susan writes:

"My husband and I get through [holiday stress:] by planning an adult evening when it all ends. When the going gets tough we whisper it to each other. A shared secret plan is great for your marriage/partnership."

PL advises: "Flirt with your husband."

Smart women. Yes, we think of the holidays as "family" time–stepfamily, extended family, my family, your...

10 Day Countdown—Tip #1 (and a request for YOUR tips, too…)

Don't forget yourself this holiday season!

Ten days until Christmas. But whatever you celebrate—Hanukkah, Kwanza, or something else—this is a high pressure season for stepfamilies.

There's the financial pressure of the recession, first of all, which is wrecking emotional havoc on Americans according to an article in today's New York Times . Stepfamilies may be feeling very particular, additional economic pressure and stress at holiday time. How to pay for kids not in residence to come to...